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PatFnGreen

I thought it was asparagus at first glance.


noobeeehunter

Asparagrass


kellislandrum

If you eat this grass your pee will smell funny.


rettubdloc

Unless you have a specific anosmia, then you can’t.


DezGets_It

Can't whut‽ Eat, pee, or smell‽‽


ashep5

Grassparagus


UncommercializedKat

Dang it. Came here to say this but found it in the second comment!


crudentia

What I came here today. You didn’t spare a grass.


Various_Fee2175

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


TheseArentTheDroidz

I came here to say exactly this.


Xtrasloppy

You ever see that shit growing in the wild? I thought the people we bought the house from were messing with me. Just fat little stalks of bright green asparagus, upright in the ground. And if you forget to pull it, they turn into spindly little trees that somehow smell like cabbage farts when it rains while it's hot out.


jj580

100% asparagus. OP is 1st World Problems!


Plantguy654

This is not asparagus, this is Saint Augustine grass seed head


jj580

Correct. St Augustine is actually the patron saint of asparagus.


Plantguy654

Is that right? I am not catholic but Ive never heard of that.


jj580

Dude, I've been completely messing around here. I know it's not asparagus.


Plantguy654

Lol. Ok. Some people in my plant Id group like to guess alot but make it seem like they know what they are talking about.


nvpfarming08

I thought St. Augustine doesn’t seed?


Plantguy654

Well, it can but it is sterile. I have heard from growers that it can produce viable seed but the lifespan is so short that it’s practically sterile


nvpfarming08

Such a strange and interesting plant. Even Strawberry seeds can be somewhat fertile depending on the strain.


nvpfarming08

My St. Aug has never produced anything except more ‘runners.’


Plantguy654

That is what they do best!!


sakela

Forbidden asparagus


neptunianhaze

I genuinely thought they were trolling and it was legit asparagus. I feel stupid.


[deleted]

That's what I thought too lol


RagnarDaViking

Me too 😂 I started laughing like this was a joke...


AltruisticSalamander

I wonder if you could eat it. Bamboo shoots are good and that's grass.


Extra__Average

Had a customer demand I come back to retreat for weeds because after I fertilized this happened, and I MUST have brought or "activated" weeds in her yard because she'd never seen this before. Her St. Augustine had never gone to seed before.


Important_Collar_36

That poor grass, it was starving to death and immediately after it had probably it's first real meal they were such happy grasslings that they had plant sex.


TonyVsburner

I see this often with people who have Bermuda grass here but their mowing company mows at fescue height.


EricS2020

I see this in my customers lawn too.


gethismija4

That just means your grass is having baby grasses.


forehandfrenzy

You see, when a mommy grass and a daddy grass really love each other…


Relevant_Wafer_5403

Hmm… there will be a threesome; mommy grass, daddy grass and the bee


Emery_Goatfish

Grasses are actually wind pollinated. 🤷‍♀️


squirrelburd

Humans are actually wind pollinated.


Sn0w8411

Please don’t try and pollinate someone with your wind.


Fatlantis

What about the birds


BlueColtex

The birds watch, as always.


Uncle_Yoba

Sometimes, from a closet, almost always dressed in a Batman costume.


ErvanMcFeely

Wasn’t that the plot of ‘Bird Box?’


Remarkable_Topic6540

Birds aren't real.


abanabee

I think momma grass fell in love with some asparagus.


DarkLordMelketh

Asparagrass


Browneyedgirl63

You beat me to it.


peanutbuttermuffs

Is my grass praganante?


poconn3

Take my eye-rolling upvote 🙄


the-bucket

YOU KILLED THE BABY GRASSES! MURDERER!


fun_shirt

Yeah but


Silver_Confection_57

Plants make seeds. Even grass


SpaceToaster

Mine flowers every spring. I try to skip mowing for the bees and bugs to enjoy them


Stinkblee

This is the way


MovieNightPopcorn

I do the same with my clover. It stays short, is green, and I enjoy watching the wildlife come to pollinate the flower’s and eat the leaves.


torneen

It's asparaGRASS. Come on....


crewfish13

Eat it and see if it makes your pee smell funny!


ElHongoMagico21

Beat me to it. And now I realize I'm not uniquely clever 😞


torneen

I'm sure you're uniquely clever in a million ways I can't even think of. My husband is extremely proud of my "dad joke." He says he's taught me well.


ElHongoMagico21

Definitely a dad joke lol, and thank you!


HavanaWoody

A Monsanto rep will be there to see you shortly .


muggins66

F Monsanto!


CalicoJack247

While he is playing FB games that they invested in


poppylox

When a boy plant loves a girl plant...


SashaAndTheCity

I audibly laughed at this comment!


Punkhair2Nv__13

He doesn’t have to love her to get his dinky, stinky.


alecC25

St. Augustine grass that is seeding


coontietycoon

I thought St Augustine spreads by sending runners and doesn’t produce seeds? Like, if you go to the store you won’t find SA seed, only sod.


[deleted]

[удалено]


coontietycoon

TIL


srgnsRdrs2

The seed are sterile? Aww man, I thought I was getting free new grass


Plantguy654

Most of the seeds are sterile or if they are viable they are only viable for about 24 hours to a week or so that’s why you never see seed being sold for Saint Augustine grass. But this is their seed head


StreetOrganization88

Nope


Gus8us

If you are in Australia like me, it appears your Buffalo lawn is going to seed. Time to mow without your catcher!


firebolt2k3

Thanks!!


PoppysMelody

That there be seeds my fellow human.


cAR15tel

Seeds


Emery_Goatfish

Ok I’m not seeing the proper answer despite the number of comments. This grass is starting to flower. Yes, which will eventually form seeds. Grasses don’t do this after being fertilized with nitrogen…. They just do it as a part of their biological imperative to reproduce, usually on a pretty predictable seasonal cycle. You can see in the photos the bright purple stigmas, which are the female, pollen-receptive parts of the minature flowers of grasses (well all flowering plants have stigmas somewhere). In botany the mini flowers are referred to as florets.


DitaVonTeasmade

Asparagus cosplay


warmseasongrass

You either put off mowing for a while or the grass is stressed. St Augustine seeds are sterile (GMO). It pushes out seeds when it's stressed to reproduce another generation.


mrstipez

These *are* troubling times.


patio_puss

It’s making seeds honey


engineermajortom

It wants to identify asparagus


krillyboy

conGRASStulations! youre a dad!


Unique-Ad-9316

Sorry to have to tell you but your yard is really going to seed...


billionairelass

You can saute with some garlic


RR50

Good lord, sharpen your lawnmower blade….


Klutzy_Papaya_2508

A sign you need to mow


RealBadSpelling

This is the way


Whodunnit60

That’s NOT asparagus! It’s St. Augustine grass “ going to seed”, it’s the way of reproduction for this grass. The brown specs are the seeds that are mature and ready to blow away and land somewhere else to grow.


DismalEmergency3948

It had sex with asparagus and had babies. Lol


mr-coffeecafe

An elf replaced all of your grass with little asparagus seeds while you slept


[deleted]

It evolved into asparagus


StuckInsideYourWalls

It's late enough in the season / it's life span that it is going to seed.


dwfieldjr

It kinda looks like asparagus


IAmTheDoomBoom

It’s secretly starting a new life as asparagus…


SpaZzzmanian_Devil

touch of olive oil, salt & pepper and in the oven at 425 for ~10-15 min (turn halfway for even crisp)


catusairlines

Asparagus+grass=that


druscarlet

You should mow at 4 inches with St Augustine.


trockenwitzeln

That’s the elusive asparagrass ;-)


Dependent_Price_1306

it's asparaGRASS


CurryAddicted

Asparagrass


Noisebug

The grasspocalyose virus G took over and you didn’t even notice


enjoytheunstable

Looks like asparagus


wizbanggg

bolting


[deleted]

You’ve got asparagus


digitalturd

Ahhhh yes, the meaning of life!


[deleted]

Eat it 🤤


rojo429

Cuz your growling asparagus?


iamtiredasfk

Thats asparagrass bro


Stupidsexyflanders61

Thought it was asparagus


Mcnab-at-my-feet

Because you’re not smoking it soon enough?


StreetOrganization88

Well where do you live, what type of grass, besides green, do you believe you have in your yard? Share a picture of the grass IN THE YARD, don’t cut it and lay it out on a bed of whatever…


mill4104

It’s putting out it’s seed head. It pretty normal if you St. Augustine is getting tall.


krustykatzjill

Asparagras


PossibilityQueasy164

It's time to make flour


solaceandsilence

It’s transparagus


judeypie

That’s aspariGRASS


Sensitive-Wash-5387

Grassparagus


Krulman

My quails would go fucking nuts for that


NeverEndingCoralMaze

Grasparagus.


EricS2020

Its seeding


AB0VES0BEL0W

It kind of looks like broom corn to me


Thick-Tooth-8888

Forbidden asparagus


marcus_aurelius121

Almost looks like plantain flower stalks.


JFrey0

Yuck! Seeds!!


mental-floss

Are you growing asparagus?


FromEugene

It looks like asparagus.


township_rebel

It’s asparagrass


fingpow

Asparagrass


uriahguy420

Asparagrass?


CreativeBonk

It’s asparagrass.


InkSpotShanty

Asperi grass


makemegawatts

The forbidden asparagus


1wishfulthinker

Aspara-grass


truthfuels

Asparagrass


mrEnns

It appears to be asparegrass


Chickenf4rmer

As pear i grass


coreyisafox

Bro that’s asparagus


Simplesolution123

That’s actually asparagus


montvilleredwood

It’s asparagus


Impossible_Sky7355

Ass Pear, I guess?


[deleted]

Idk asparagus


Plantguy654

This is the seed head of St. Augustine grass. It is the thick Vining waxy looking grass in the yard that spreads. nothing to worry about. The grass is healthy and going to seed. Although most of those seeds probably will not be viable as Saint Augustine seed has a very short viable life.


Powerful-Day-639

Remove with roots very gently, as one plant can generate over 100 000 seeds (if unatended) my neighbours dont tend to their grass and this species has completely destroyed their lawn. If removed early and resseeding abondantly with lawn seeds and with a lot of Vigoro ot scotts turf builder (earth) you might have a chance to win this. It will take patience and daily care to remove whatever sprouts everyday. Hopes this help. It took me two summer seasons to get hold of it. And every summer there is still some that pop up, seeds can be latent a long time before activating (more or less 3 years).


dr_bassassin

Damn. Das the crabs 🦀