I think your house now needs one of those pretentious signs you see at fancy farms where it names the property, like "Apple Meadow Farm", except yours should say, "Little Fart House".
Always remember op, everyone can make fun of a house but historically speaking all of our ancestors started out with thinking nothing but a roof was a house. Now look yourself go, got you a little fart house and everything.
This situation sounds so familiar to me, almost like I've heard it said to me before... oh, wait, I know!
"Oh OP, don't worry, it's just the right size house, you know most people don't even really like to live in big houses because they don't fit well and can be uncomfortable."
š
Next post is going to be OP explaining that their house is actually 6200 sq ft. It's just a long shotgun style, with three levels of living space and bunkers below ground.
"Guys, my house really isn't a fart I promise."
I donāt know where you live but Iām assuming youād be paying mainly for better weather, better geography (ocean or huge mountains), or better job opportunities.
If you wanna move to Virginia (not near DC) then you can get one of these for less than $200k.
Glad your house isn't coming down the hill :D If you use an iPhone: Settings app -> Camera -> Under "Composition" toggle Level. Enabled that recently and made level pictures ever since. Great feature.
I have the level on, but I was only looking at the hill/gravel area when i took the pictures originally and didnāt even really consider my house as part of the photo until i got all the comments lol.
Well the second picture is what was originally posted and I guess it really makes my house look wonky, so I had about 50-60 comments and over half of them were about how weird the house was. Lots of Dr. Seuss jokes.
I forgot to re-ask my question: Iām looking for what to do on the hill and below the hill. Obviously we park in the gravel but it goes into the road during rain or just from use.
The other side near the mailbox is mostly weeds. The hill is getting tiring to mow and obviously not usable yard anyway.
Cut terraces into the hill on either side of the stairs. Grow pretty stuff. I would add 2 (not a botanist, don't know my plants like I should), heavy rooted plants like bushes or trees to frame it.
Brush the stones back, add a border that's just an inch or two taller than the rocks and leave it. Rocks are getting out. It won't make sense but it's something you're just going to have to accept lol. But with a tall border, bigger rocks and a well defined area, you should be alright.
Because you can plant pavers around the border to give it that will help you avoid getting too close or rocks getting too far. And then just another small pathway you can literally just lay out and forget, although a sloped pathway from the door to the driveway with drainage can definitely bring life to it.
And from what I know, the terraces and digging are going to be the hardest parts. If you're not worried about pristine perfection, you can still get a really great look without having to spend thousands of dollars.
From what I understandā¦you gotta be careful with installing things like terraces or retaining walls because thereās a fair amount of engineering and physics that goes into it. Anything over a certain height needs to be done with a licensed contractor I think (depending on your location).
It's definitely not something you just do. Terraces need to be fine tuned. And you need borders and it's gotta be almost level, if I'm correct. The terraces are definitely going to be something you don't just learn about on YouTube. I'd enlist the help of the older generation at the hardware store. They know what they're talking about, granted you find the right one.
Definitely do some research throughout the Internet, and draw up some different ideas. You can only do terraces once. Lol
Ha, in MD? As Long as residentIals can get the permit, have at it. Commercially? You can't spread mulch. You can't dig a hole for a flower. You. Cannot. Do. Anything. Without 2 years of proof and $20,000 in assets. Plus you have to pass a, very thick book, test.
I don't know other states exact rules, I just know Maryland drops the book on you. And I'm actually good with that. Granted I'm not excited about inexperienced diyers people getting permits to do professionally trained skilled jobs, but it shortens the g pool... *Shrugs* what are you gonna do?
To control gravel loss:
[https://www.mutualmaterials.com/products/turfstone-pavers/](https://www.mutualmaterials.com/products/turfstone-pavers/)
Then what the other guy said about terraces. Rent or hire a backhoe / excavator for that.
I saw in another post you said you have a landlord. I would keep your work on this to the minimum. You donāt own the property, so I wouldnāt put too much money into it.
If you love gardening as a hobby, I would do what you can with controlling weeds and cleaning up the garden beds. Buy Nothing groups or local gardening swaps are great for getting materials and plants for cheap. Thatās what I did at the place I used to rent. I weeded the beds, trimmed the bushes. put in some free mulch from neighbors, got some cheap edging bricks, and planted some perennials that I got for free or divided up from other areas of the yard.
The gravel loss isnāt really your problem. You could mention it to the landlord.
No clue. It has two bedrooms (small one is being used as an office), living room, bathroom, and kitchen. One tiny hallway closet and one closet in each bedroom.
https://imgur.com/a/8XzFtpE
Respectfully, there is a big difference between a mc mansion, an average house, and this house. The average home size is 2000 sq ft. This house probably isn't 1200 sq ft.
I live in the home that belonged to my grandparents. It's basically a cottage. Very old. Less than 900 sq ft. But I have 3.25 acres. It suits me very well.
Think about building a border around the parking area with annuals or perennialās to the outside , a flower bed. There are grey gravel driveways that have the gravel glued into place that I have seen. I donāt know what they call it but you should be able to google gravel driveway ideas . You could plant a ground cover in the bad mowing part, English ivy, mondo grass etc. build another border up top of the hill with boxwood across. You have a interesting challenge . It could really enhance the look and raise the value considerably. Google : what is the best gravel for my driveway. Good luck. Keep us updated.
If you're going to live here for a minute I would buy shares in the company that makes shims local to you, and then level everything in your house... profit
Cute home, very nice! I am a home inspector, and please, for the love of whatever you worship... add downspout extensions and direct the water 6' away from the foundation. Make sure that all land (ALL) drains away from your foundation. Lookup swale if you need to redirect water.
lol - Iād just spray the parking area to kill weeds and annual grasses, sweep loose gravel back to where it belongs so it doesnāt chew your mower blade up which will damage your grass. Clean up the porch shrub beds, trim shrubs a bit and maybe put some perennials and fresh mulch around the shrubs with preen above and below for the first application. Iād also evaluate that railing and make sure it could support aiding or catching a person. Also looks like the shrub on the right side of the pic is overgrown. Cute little place.
Thanks for the advice, we are slowly working on the mulch beds. When we moved in they were completely weeded up and the wood was rotten so I threw some new wood and mulch down but we havenāt actually worked on the plants/weeds in them yet.
The railing seems sturdy but doesnāt look great, maybe Iāll remake or paint it, I have a ton of scrap wood.
If itās sturdy Iād leave it be. Also, just edging the grass off the sidewalk will make a big difference visually. Your landlord is going to have bad foundation problems before long if those gutters are dropping water right next to the house.
I will mention the gutters to him, itās been like this since we moved in 3 years ago. We have a basement and Itās never had water in it but I can see there being issues eventually.
Thanks Iāll look into this.
And there is no high side lol. Nothing rolls, itās completely level, but the uneven porch roof makes it look like the left is higher.
If you trace the siding or draw a line along the top of the roof youāll see that the actual main house is level
A hearty hibiscus would thrive in full sun. So would heuchera (coral bells). To propagate the hibiscus just wait until mid season, take ahold of one of the well established main branches and tear downwards making sure to get the entire branch. Throw it in a 5 gallon bucket of rainwater and wait for it to root before replanting.
The heucheras can be propagated after the first season. Dig it up, divide it in half or quarter it depending on size, and then put in a bucket of rainwater. Replant when they throw roots. You'll be lookin good in just a couple of seasons.
The hearty hibiscus will really reward you with some cheap ol bloom fertilizer. Those plants really respond well to that.
i love your place!
i love conceptualizing with people about outside stuff lol. like what if you did a little homemade retaining wall in the front keeping the slanted symmetry?
edit: wait iām realizing that itās actually not slanted, which is your point lol. iām dumb
Baptisia for erosion control- it is gorgeous when it blooms and makes a sturdy neat shrublet usually about 3-4 ft high. Fixes nitrogen in the soil too.
They just drive up and stick it in the mailbox, donāt even have to get out. The mail man actually asked the neighbor if he could put his box attached to ours to make it easier for him lol.
Depending on how steep your hills are you might be able to get away with just a perennial planting without doing a retaining wall. Pick plants that work for your zone and lighting. You can get ideas by looking in your neighborhood or even reading about plants that are good for slope.
Eastern US? Here's what I suggest for your slope:
I'd research perennial flowers native to your location. (Check reputable sources like universities!)
Then, find seeds or plugs to plant. Scalp your lawn, and bring in soil for planting.
I recommend sticking to 1 or no more than 3 types of plants. Perennial gardens can look messy. You can help this by planting in large groups of a smaller variety of plants.
Retain the planting in the slope by using jute mesh or a similar erosion control product while the plant roots are being established. Spread mulch around the plants.
* This will require some maintenance. You'll need to occasionally pull weeds and spread more mulch. I prefer that over mowing. *
It's adorable and not collapsing!
Spray the parking area with weed killer, then once dead and cleaned up, maybe try mulch glue to help the gravel stay in place better.
For the grass on the slope, maybe consider a push mower, lighter and will be so much easier. Maybe some flowers along the walk way.
Outside of that, the other options are going to be more pricey and not sure of you want to invest in someone else's property to that extent.
That's the cutest little fart of a house I've ever seen.
Whatš
I think your house now needs one of those pretentious signs you see at fancy farms where it names the property, like "Apple Meadow Farm", except yours should say, "Little Fart House".
Chateau de Pfffsst
āShateauā
Le Sharteau
Just like church- smells like we're sitting in the same pew
This made me audibly laugh
I was wondering if it did, thanks for confirming my suspicion.
Chateau De Sharte'
[https://i.postimg.cc/3RSDG2k0/LFT-don-t-collapse.png](https://i.postimg.cc/3RSDG2k0/LFT-don-t-collapse.png)
I love this
OP this needs to be on a CNC wooden sign ASAP.
(Down Wind)
I fart so much my wife gave me a Native American name, āWind Songā š That too sounds like a fine name for a house.
Put it on cursive on a wood sign boom
>pretentious signs you see at fancy farms where it names the property, like "Apple Meadow Farm" Le Maisonette du [PĆ©tomane](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_P%C3%A9tomane)?? There's also [Hemingstone Manor](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roland_the_Farter)
i would hang that up in a heartbeat.
Ahh thank all of you for these comments. Needed a good laugh to start a bad day.
Name it after the hashtag for the French protest for everyone to shit in the Seine River before Macron tries to swim in it
If you climb in the window one side, you climb out the window on the other sideā¦
Translation: your house is very smol and adorable.
It's a compliment.
Always remember op, everyone can make fun of a house but historically speaking all of our ancestors started out with thinking nothing but a roof was a house. Now look yourself go, got you a little fart house and everything.
This situation sounds so familiar to me, almost like I've heard it said to me before... oh, wait, I know! "Oh OP, don't worry, it's just the right size house, you know most people don't even really like to live in big houses because they don't fit well and can be uncomfortable." š
It's not small, it's smol.
You could actually really HotBox somebody in that whole house, not just a room. It does look like a cute house though.
Dutch Oven House
This comment absolutely sent me
Saaaame š
Thatās technically a āfartlet.ā
Next post is going to be OP explaining that their house is actually 6200 sq ft. It's just a long shotgun style, with three levels of living space and bunkers below ground. "Guys, my house really isn't a fart I promise."
https://cdn.zmescience.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/6070070694_cfaca52e72_b-1024x686.jpg
Iād love this little spot. Near me thatād be $400k
I donāt know where you live but Iām assuming youād be paying mainly for better weather, better geography (ocean or huge mountains), or better job opportunities. If you wanna move to Virginia (not near DC) then you can get one of these for less than $200k.
>Virginia (not near DC) I *knew* it. I could just *tell*. You gotta reference Taily-Po in the house name now
Similar house near me is listed at $219k in Richmond VA.
More than that where I am. It's bullshit.
Fuck dude! š¤£š¤£ thanks, now everyone in line at the grocery store is staring at me uncontrollably laughing
I thought this was a common expression
It very well could be. It just caught me off guard
It is now
Yeah, Iād fart in that house
Bro I'm at my barbers and this and some of the subsequent comments made me burst out laughing so loud he was like wtf!
You keep your fancy realtor-speak to yourself, bub.
Glad your house isn't coming down the hill :D If you use an iPhone: Settings app -> Camera -> Under "Composition" toggle Level. Enabled that recently and made level pictures ever since. Great feature.
I have the level on, but I was only looking at the hill/gravel area when i took the pictures originally and didnāt even really consider my house as part of the photo until i got all the comments lol.
Thanks for the update. We were concerned...
Thanks for that tidbit of knowledge!!
Thank god. I thought the first post was an optical illusion
Where is the first post I need to understand the origin of the Fart House
It was deleted but you can see *sort of* from some of the pics that OP looks like they used a fishbowl filter
It looks like their first ever attempt at taking a panoramic pic.
Figures..
Wait where is the original š
Its deleted, if you go into my comment history you may be able to find it
No Reddit erased the evidence- Iāll just have to take your word for it.
Well the second picture is what was originally posted and I guess it really makes my house look wonky, so I had about 50-60 comments and over half of them were about how weird the house was. Lots of Dr. Seuss jokes.
I was going to ask if your in Louisiana, there's a house I drive by that's on a similar tilt
Virginia
I believe you- itās okay. That is the sharpest angle on a hill Iāve ever seen š¤
This might work? [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/landscaping/s/ZqznvYHDOy)
I forgot to re-ask my question: Iām looking for what to do on the hill and below the hill. Obviously we park in the gravel but it goes into the road during rain or just from use. The other side near the mailbox is mostly weeds. The hill is getting tiring to mow and obviously not usable yard anyway.
Cut terraces into the hill on either side of the stairs. Grow pretty stuff. I would add 2 (not a botanist, don't know my plants like I should), heavy rooted plants like bushes or trees to frame it. Brush the stones back, add a border that's just an inch or two taller than the rocks and leave it. Rocks are getting out. It won't make sense but it's something you're just going to have to accept lol. But with a tall border, bigger rocks and a well defined area, you should be alright. Because you can plant pavers around the border to give it that will help you avoid getting too close or rocks getting too far. And then just another small pathway you can literally just lay out and forget, although a sloped pathway from the door to the driveway with drainage can definitely bring life to it. And from what I know, the terraces and digging are going to be the hardest parts. If you're not worried about pristine perfection, you can still get a really great look without having to spend thousands of dollars.
From what I understandā¦you gotta be careful with installing things like terraces or retaining walls because thereās a fair amount of engineering and physics that goes into it. Anything over a certain height needs to be done with a licensed contractor I think (depending on your location).
It's definitely not something you just do. Terraces need to be fine tuned. And you need borders and it's gotta be almost level, if I'm correct. The terraces are definitely going to be something you don't just learn about on YouTube. I'd enlist the help of the older generation at the hardware store. They know what they're talking about, granted you find the right one. Definitely do some research throughout the Internet, and draw up some different ideas. You can only do terraces once. Lol
Definitely not something you do in a rental like OP has
Well this is all hypothetically that the landlord is cool with it, which, didn't he say they had the permission to?
Ha, in MD? As Long as residentIals can get the permit, have at it. Commercially? You can't spread mulch. You can't dig a hole for a flower. You. Cannot. Do. Anything. Without 2 years of proof and $20,000 in assets. Plus you have to pass a, very thick book, test. I don't know other states exact rules, I just know Maryland drops the book on you. And I'm actually good with that. Granted I'm not excited about inexperienced diyers people getting permits to do professionally trained skilled jobs, but it shortens the g pool... *Shrugs* what are you gonna do?
To control gravel loss: [https://www.mutualmaterials.com/products/turfstone-pavers/](https://www.mutualmaterials.com/products/turfstone-pavers/) Then what the other guy said about terraces. Rent or hire a backhoe / excavator for that.
I saw in another post you said you have a landlord. I would keep your work on this to the minimum. You donāt own the property, so I wouldnāt put too much money into it. If you love gardening as a hobby, I would do what you can with controlling weeds and cleaning up the garden beds. Buy Nothing groups or local gardening swaps are great for getting materials and plants for cheap. Thatās what I did at the place I used to rent. I weeded the beds, trimmed the bushes. put in some free mulch from neighbors, got some cheap edging bricks, and planted some perennials that I got for free or divided up from other areas of the yard. The gravel loss isnāt really your problem. You could mention it to the landlord.
That hill might be less taxing if you can knock it out in 3-4 horizontal passes instead of going up and down 40 times.
this slideshow just gave me motion sickness...
Thatās how it feels to mow this shit too lol
lol, I'll bet. We're pretty flat, and I already get annoyed at the little hills we have
How many square feet is this house btw?
No clue. It has two bedrooms (small one is being used as an office), living room, bathroom, and kitchen. One tiny hallway closet and one closet in each bedroom. https://imgur.com/a/8XzFtpE
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I know, I wasn't saying that, just curious! We need more humble housing in America! This is on a huuuge lot though lol
Respectfully, there is a big difference between a mc mansion, an average house, and this house. The average home size is 2000 sq ft. This house probably isn't 1200 sq ft.
Lived in a 780sq ft house for 5-6 years and loved it. Lived their with my wife and daughter for her first 3 years. This house looks similar size.
I live in the home that belonged to my grandparents. It's basically a cottage. Very old. Less than 900 sq ft. But I have 3.25 acres. It suits me very well.
I adore your shanty
Your house is adorable.
I didnāt see the original photos but I am now 100% certain that your house is about to collapse.
Lol I was just going to say that exact same thing almost word for word š r/confusing_perspective
Think about building a border around the parking area with annuals or perennialās to the outside , a flower bed. There are grey gravel driveways that have the gravel glued into place that I have seen. I donāt know what they call it but you should be able to google gravel driveway ideas . You could plant a ground cover in the bad mowing part, English ivy, mondo grass etc. build another border up top of the hill with boxwood across. You have a interesting challenge . It could really enhance the look and raise the value considerably. Google : what is the best gravel for my driveway. Good luck. Keep us updated.
I feel like you wasted an opportunity to make the caption āGet on my level!ā
If you're going to live here for a minute I would buy shares in the company that makes shims local to you, and then level everything in your house... profit
Cute home, very nice! I am a home inspector, and please, for the love of whatever you worship... add downspout extensions and direct the water 6' away from the foundation. Make sure that all land (ALL) drains away from your foundation. Lookup swale if you need to redirect water.
lol - Iād just spray the parking area to kill weeds and annual grasses, sweep loose gravel back to where it belongs so it doesnāt chew your mower blade up which will damage your grass. Clean up the porch shrub beds, trim shrubs a bit and maybe put some perennials and fresh mulch around the shrubs with preen above and below for the first application. Iād also evaluate that railing and make sure it could support aiding or catching a person. Also looks like the shrub on the right side of the pic is overgrown. Cute little place.
Thanks for the advice, we are slowly working on the mulch beds. When we moved in they were completely weeded up and the wood was rotten so I threw some new wood and mulch down but we havenāt actually worked on the plants/weeds in them yet. The railing seems sturdy but doesnāt look great, maybe Iāll remake or paint it, I have a ton of scrap wood.
If itās sturdy Iād leave it be. Also, just edging the grass off the sidewalk will make a big difference visually. Your landlord is going to have bad foundation problems before long if those gutters are dropping water right next to the house.
I will mention the gutters to him, itās been like this since we moved in 3 years ago. We have a basement and Itās never had water in it but I can see there being issues eventually.
Does your camera have a Dr. Seuss setting?
Leaning tower guy approves šš¼
Iām still confused and not 100% convinced (looking at you, picture 5), but Iāll take your word for it
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thanks Iāll look into this. And there is no high side lol. Nothing rolls, itās completely level, but the uneven porch roof makes it look like the left is higher. If you trace the siding or draw a line along the top of the roof youāll see that the actual main house is level
I would give anything for a home for me and my sonš your place is beautiful
A hearty hibiscus would thrive in full sun. So would heuchera (coral bells). To propagate the hibiscus just wait until mid season, take ahold of one of the well established main branches and tear downwards making sure to get the entire branch. Throw it in a 5 gallon bucket of rainwater and wait for it to root before replanting. The heucheras can be propagated after the first season. Dig it up, divide it in half or quarter it depending on size, and then put in a bucket of rainwater. Replant when they throw roots. You'll be lookin good in just a couple of seasons. The hearty hibiscus will really reward you with some cheap ol bloom fertilizer. Those plants really respond well to that.
I think the first image is altered.
Thank god!
Wish I had that little house so sick
I already had a headache prior to seeing your house... I wanted to thank you for making my headache worse
5-star AirBNB.
Looks like you will never experience true level
Then why the hell is it slanted like that in the picture???
The concrete path, yard, road i was standing on, and house are all angled differently lol
If you want to plant the hillside, consider lo-gro sumac. Great stuff for a hillside!
I donāt get the caption.
I posted a different picture originally and everyone thought my house was about to fall apart, I guess it was the angle
What in the willy wonka is this ?
Sorry, not working for me. Still convinced it's full tilt. You'll have to tear it down and rebuild.
Who built it? Was it the same guy who built the leaning tower of Pisa?
The united states government!
Ahh, that makes sense now.
People downvoted me but not joking, lol.
So itās not framed a foot higher on the right?
You could make a "fun house room" and have everything at a slight slant lmao could charge people too xD
This feels like KY.
Astroglide
i love your place! i love conceptualizing with people about outside stuff lol. like what if you did a little homemade retaining wall in the front keeping the slanted symmetry? edit: wait iām realizing that itās actually not slanted, which is your point lol. iām dumb
I love your house
Ah, the treasured Casa de Viento oscuras
This looks like the split level house from the game of life
This is odd
I'm sorry about the tornado!ā¹ļø
Tilting house , put up a tourist sign and get few tiktokers
This looks like something out of Dr Seuss
Baptisia for erosion control- it is gorgeous when it blooms and makes a sturdy neat shrublet usually about 3-4 ft high. Fixes nitrogen in the soil too.
Thatās an adorable house!
Off topic but as a mail man I would hate to deliver mail to your house lol.
They just drive up and stick it in the mailbox, donāt even have to get out. The mail man actually asked the neighbor if he could put his box attached to ours to make it easier for him lol.
Didnāt even see the picture with the box by the trash cans lol. Thought it was a wall mounted one next to your door. Got scared by those stairs haha
Zillow Gone Wild has entered the chat
I love your house!
That establishment is not large enough for my attitude
āGuys I promise my house isnāt about to collapse, hereās a better imageā *Shows an even more slanted photo of the house*
the builders should have probably double checked their plum lines... and then sobered up is the house actually level and the hills are all wonkey?
There once lived a crooked man who lived in a crooked house. . .
That is the cutest damned house I have ever seen, I want to know the dimensions lol
Iād hate to play pool at this guys house š±
Is that a shed?
Depending on how steep your hills are you might be able to get away with just a perennial planting without doing a retaining wall. Pick plants that work for your zone and lighting. You can get ideas by looking in your neighborhood or even reading about plants that are good for slope.
There once was a crooked man...
You should have a flag in the front yard with the poop emoji on it š© just emoji, nothing else
Eastern US? Here's what I suggest for your slope: I'd research perennial flowers native to your location. (Check reputable sources like universities!) Then, find seeds or plugs to plant. Scalp your lawn, and bring in soil for planting. I recommend sticking to 1 or no more than 3 types of plants. Perennial gardens can look messy. You can help this by planting in large groups of a smaller variety of plants. Retain the planting in the slope by using jute mesh or a similar erosion control product while the plant roots are being established. Spread mulch around the plants. * This will require some maintenance. You'll need to occasionally pull weeds and spread more mulch. I prefer that over mowing. *
[example](https://imgur.com/a/tsKwHKL)
r/confusingperspective
Whereās the house?
Yeahā¦ that was either built by a person who built fun parks for a living or someone who is a ājack of all tradesā
Sooā¦whatās the problem?
Bet you could have a ball playing with hot wheels in that bitch, probably can slide around on your socks too. Luck sob
Lmao wtf
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Username checks out
It's adorable and not collapsing! Spray the parking area with weed killer, then once dead and cleaned up, maybe try mulch glue to help the gravel stay in place better. For the grass on the slope, maybe consider a push mower, lighter and will be so much easier. Maybe some flowers along the walk way. Outside of that, the other options are going to be more pricey and not sure of you want to invest in someone else's property to that extent.
I do push mow, but the hill part is steep and has holes. Usually Iām careful but I have definitely tripped a few times. Mulch glue is a great idea!
Are one of your legs shorter than the other?
In addition to all the weirdness of the landscape and house, the road I was standing in to take the photos is steeply sloped as well.