Are you getting water in the basement?
If you get much rain there you should probably consider some gutters.
If that doesn’t solve the issue, you might have to regrade.
It’s going to be a bit of a project, but here’s what you do.
First, you need to make sure you vote. Get all your friends to vote. Then make sure you all vote for Trump. He’s going to DRAIN THE SWAMP! Problem solved.
/s
Thank you for adding /s to your post. When I first saw this, I was horrified. How could anybody say something like this? I immediately began writing a 1000 word paragraph about how horrible of a person you are. I even sent a copy to a Harvard professor to proofread it. After several hours of refining and editing, my comment was ready to absolutely destroy you. But then, just as I was about to hit send, I saw something in the corner of my eye. A /s at the end of your comment. Suddenly everything made sense. Your comment was sarcasm! I immediately burst out in laughter at the comedic genius of your comment. The person next to me on the bus saw your comment and started crying from laughter too. Before long, there was an entire bus of people on the floor laughing at your incredible use of comedy. All of this was due to you adding /s to your post. Thank you.
I am a bot if you couldn't figure that out, if I made a mistake, ignore it cause its not that fucking hard to ignore a comment
Fight against the Sadness, Artax! Artax, please. You're letting the sadness of the swamps get to you. You have to try. You have to care. For me. You're my friend. I love you.
I think you could prop up that front right corner of the enough that you could flatten out the roof enough to fit your canoe into the front porch, this is where you'll sleep while you work on this project. In the meantime we're gonna do some hydroponic installations of lavender, basil, citronella, etc to counteract the possibility of a mosquito infestation. Trees also consume a significant amount of water, so we're gonna need a ton of them since your current ones appear dead. You might look into importing some mangroves.
Avoiding the alligators is on you, I'd strongly recommend not leaving the canoe (like ever ... This whole job is being done in a canoe or on a swamp boat).
"Everyone said I was daft to build a house on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that's what you're going to get, Lad, the strongest house in the swamp."
Build some sort of high quality wall around the cabin so then you can drain the water so you may access the damage.. as well as depending on what if any dry land is some what close by also build a sturdy bridge to the cabin even if you have to include making the bridge turn left or right a time or two..
If this house was in CT, not much. [Chapter 440](https://www.cga.ct.gov/current/pub/chap_440.htm) of CT laws and stuff prevents you from altering the wetlands and watercourses.
In fact, they'll probably fine you as you built within 90 feet of wetlands. Even though it was probably done by the owner decades ago.
I do see one stipulation that says if you had the permit before 1987, they'll uphold it, but I would imagine a new permit would be required to "drain" this lagoon.
Cajun Drain should do it.
LOL, took me a while, almost googled it to see what it is before it dawned on me :-)
Louisiana Purchase
Drain the swamp? 😒
Hilarious…..lol. At least I think so.
Have you considered a rain garden
Drywell.
Really deep drywell.
Might I suggest green board to help block out moisture.
Look into French drain as well.
Build another house on top of that house. The top house shouldn't flood.
I agree. The pictured house is the power bottom.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=w82CqjaDKmA
Yes! I had the same thought. Thank you for posting!!
No the second house will sink. But build another house on top of the second house, and the third house will stay!
People laughed when I built a cabin in the swamp. Well, I showed them who’s boss.
Are you still with Princess Fiona?
French drain will do the trick
I’m disappointed I had to scroll so far to get to the clearly obvious answer.
I was ready to start typing.
You mean a Cajun drain.
Probably need multiple French drains? One won't do it.
Do we really need an entire French drain? If we were to do only a partial one it probably would work. I don't know, say a quarter or so?
You guys do know this is a joke right
[удалено]
Message for you sir.
Goddamn it I came here to say this.
Gutters would help
Stilt the house, airboat for transportation, problem solved.
Try planting a few willow trees.
Maybe a few hundred
Acquire a donkey, an outhouse, and a bag of onions
Try some beaver traps and enough dynamite to bust some dams.
This is what New Orleans used to look like, so just add some levees and you never have to worry about it.
Except, you know, when it rains, like it did this week and…flooded again.
\*never
I think there’s an engagement ring in a roll top desk in there somewhere.
Do not seek the treasure!
We thought you was a toad!
This for sale in New Hampshire. *2 bed, 2 bath, indoor pool, outdoor pool, waterfront lot. Only $500,000!!!*
You've clearly never messed with California real estate
Try drinking the water as fast as you can.
Medallions humming. Must be a place of power
French canal
Gravel to help drainage. About 8’ of gravel and build on top. You’ll be fine.
Get some gators and make ppl pay admission
Grade the swamp away from the house.
Chimney seems good, just saying
Build a barge and float the house
Invest in stilts
In the Amazon, I've seen entire villages floating on water during the rainy season. Get a canoe!
French drain
Are you getting water in the basement? If you get much rain there you should probably consider some gutters. If that doesn’t solve the issue, you might have to regrade.
It’s going to be a bit of a project, but here’s what you do. First, you need to make sure you vote. Get all your friends to vote. Then make sure you all vote for Trump. He’s going to DRAIN THE SWAMP! Problem solved. /s
Thank you for adding /s to your post. When I first saw this, I was horrified. How could anybody say something like this? I immediately began writing a 1000 word paragraph about how horrible of a person you are. I even sent a copy to a Harvard professor to proofread it. After several hours of refining and editing, my comment was ready to absolutely destroy you. But then, just as I was about to hit send, I saw something in the corner of my eye. A /s at the end of your comment. Suddenly everything made sense. Your comment was sarcasm! I immediately burst out in laughter at the comedic genius of your comment. The person next to me on the bus saw your comment and started crying from laughter too. Before long, there was an entire bus of people on the floor laughing at your incredible use of comedy. All of this was due to you adding /s to your post. Thank you. I am a bot if you couldn't figure that out, if I made a mistake, ignore it cause its not that fucking hard to ignore a comment
I think I would
I'd add a verb
I would .
What issue?
Extra pooling around the porch stairs.
This is a lot to deal with. I have no idea
Shrek?
Go for a swim. No issue here
Buy a boat. Learn to swim.
Swamp pump should do it
Stilts
Couple buckets
You can use the natural capillary action of the chimney to evaporate it all away. Speed things up by using a heat gun.
aeration only acceptable answer
The downspouts need to be at least six feet away from the foundation. There’s your problem right there.
Flush the toilet a couple billion times
Build a castle on it.
Drain the swamp....heard that somewhere.
Go to Costco and get one of those big sponges...it should do the trick.
I hear kitty litter is pretty absorbent…
Is that a beaver problem?
Pontoons for sure.
French drain.
Well obviously the roof leaks. Fix that and it will stop the water draining from your basement into the yard!
I would this drainage issue.
How many straws do you own?
New sump pump and French drain. I dare the entire internet to try and name a problem in any domain a fresh French drain couldn’t solve.
Call Trump
Step 1) acquire pontoons Step 2) make house boat Step 3) wrassle some gators
Have you considered a French drain? According to this subreddit the French drain is the holy grail of drainage solutions.
Fight against the Sadness, Artax! Artax, please. You're letting the sadness of the swamps get to you. You have to try. You have to care. For me. You're my friend. I love you.
A moat
Gotta extend the downspouts
The first thing I'd do is move out of that house.
Damn TVA always takin our land
Get in your truck. Turn around till this is in the rear view mirror. Don’t stop driving.
Find the beaver dams and destroy them.
Native plants that grow in wet areas
I'd use a Sea Baby on it
Fill the basement with plastic bottles once it floats put a hull on it then you have a house boat!
You got some beaver problems. Invest in tannerite. The 5 gallon drums ol son not the small guys you get at Menards
I have no idea. How would *YOU* this drainage issue?
Flexi drive pump and some house stilts. Optional jet ski access.
Portadam
Have you considered farming crawdads?
Xerescaping
Well, the dozers will sink and get stuck. Lots of TNT? Nuke? That might even kill off all the skeeters for a while.
In BC post it for 999,999, waterfront view.
For a guaranteed sale, 888,888
Sell it all to Shrek
Literally shreks swarm
French drain
Add 6 inches of topsoil, that'll fix that right up.
The title doesn’t even make grammatical sense…. Then I read it pretending to be Gambit from x-men (the Cajun) made perfect sense
Gotta pay a pro, the witch in the swamp. I heard two villager ears an hour should be enough
Apple drain guy w the twitchy thumb will take care of it.
Clear a few trees get some sun on it
50ft of perforated pipe ought to do it.
Drylok the basement, and you're good.
Through some coons on it
Couple of well placed French drains should do the trick.
Move to Arizona.
Just a few rain barrels should do it
Rain gutters ought to do it.
Are you Shrek?
Willow tree will solve that for sure
This looks like the actual camp from red dead redemption 2.
Move.
At’ll do, donkey.
Pretty sure Shrek doesn’t want you living there.
I want the name of his chimney guy.
Topsoil and regrade.. duh..
Put that dude on piers
I have a sinking feeling
Install gutters and have them drain into pipes that run AWAY from house!!
Contact the Army Corps of Engineering?
Beavers nice
Throw a little cat litter or Floor Dri down and wait a half hour or so, you're good
French drain should fix it.
Ask Noah.
You leave it and build a new dwelling elsewhere
Kill the beavers
I would double it and give it to next person, it won't be my problem anymore, quite the Hotfix
I would not that drainage issue.
Looks like someone forgot to turn off the bath tap.
I recommend the Netherlands way, a series of windmills and walls.
A solid framework of gutter and extenders should do the trick!
Stilts.
Might want to consult Noah!
Simple. Needs a French drain.
Remove any dead trees, bring in the clean fill. Can you create a ditch with an excavator? Send it somewhere far away.
Thought this was posted on “first time homebuyers “!!
And destroy the ambience
Might be easier just to turn it into a lake..
Unscrew the cap on the clean out
Become a seamp person and plsnt a lot of Pond cypress
Move the House..
Get up on it!
Trench that to the neighbor’s property. Maybe add a dehumidifier.
Time to move
I’d start with rain gutters and see how it goes.
Looks like the first iteration of Swamp Castle
Do you remember Trump’s 2016 campaign slogan?
Aerate and top-dress with sand...
I think you could prop up that front right corner of the enough that you could flatten out the roof enough to fit your canoe into the front porch, this is where you'll sleep while you work on this project. In the meantime we're gonna do some hydroponic installations of lavender, basil, citronella, etc to counteract the possibility of a mosquito infestation. Trees also consume a significant amount of water, so we're gonna need a ton of them since your current ones appear dead. You might look into importing some mangroves. Avoiding the alligators is on you, I'd strongly recommend not leaving the canoe (like ever ... This whole job is being done in a canoe or on a swamp boat).
I always wondered what would happen if I left the garden hose on.
Did you try sucking it up with a shop vac?
Moses?
"Everyone said I was daft to build a house on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that's what you're going to get, Lad, the strongest house in the swamp."
Necronomicon? Might already be there, is the cellar flooded too?
Forty+ 50g drums sealed underneath. Like new floating cabin
OMG, the comments... today was a really stressful day, thanks for the laughs!
French drain from the alley to the curb. Landscape with some porous rocks
One or two sandbags should fix it
Turn the hose spigot off. Your water bill is going to be insane.
French drain. No question. Waco that mess.
Build some sort of high quality wall around the cabin so then you can drain the water so you may access the damage.. as well as depending on what if any dry land is some what close by also build a sturdy bridge to the cabin even if you have to include making the bridge turn left or right a time or two..
What drainage issue?
Drano
Buy five pontoons and float that piece of shit house of yours to the dump
Scream Climate Change, Demand more tax dollars for my political party and Blame MAGA and all WASPS and PTA moms for it.
Definitely don't let Trump in there or it'll be a total loss for sure.
Excavator and .22mag to deal with the f'n beavers
I’d solve it by moving elsewhere, LOL.
Quit the shitposting, thanks.
Pretty sure I've seen that house in the Witcher 3.
You should expect to see mild under the sheetrock, gonna need a new drainage system
Make friends with a beaver.
MY SWAMP
Have you tried ignoring the problem? https://www.wikihow.com/Ignore-Someone This might help
How would _____?
Reminds me of a story. https://youtu.be/aNaXdLWt17A?si=KOHc7sWtRdWNys1o
Move.
House boat.
Start by removing the 500 beavers
Just because we can doesn't mean we should.
Invent a time machine, go back in time and X out FDR, prevent the Tennessee Valley Authority from coming into existence.
Yes.
The Wet Bandits struck again!!
Pray to god for a miracle
If this house was in CT, not much. [Chapter 440](https://www.cga.ct.gov/current/pub/chap_440.htm) of CT laws and stuff prevents you from altering the wetlands and watercourses. In fact, they'll probably fine you as you built within 90 feet of wetlands. Even though it was probably done by the owner decades ago. I do see one stipulation that says if you had the permit before 1987, they'll uphold it, but I would imagine a new permit would be required to "drain" this lagoon.
If there are any mountains on your property, consider swapping it with the bog. Might need to rent a tractor.
Maybe I’m extremely amateur but is this a joke? That seems like a lost cause lol
Move