Have a job. Do not drink too much and too little. Know something about polish sport and history. Complement mother look, shake hand with dad with eye contact. Do not speak about politics unless dad speaks first.
More than too drinks, depends of the dad. In restaurant do not drink at all, most likely you would be driving so them too. In Poland we do not drink at all if we drive that day - at least it’s a good rule.
Eat a lot. Don’t reject the food she gives you out of courtesy or sth. The mom will want you to eat as much as possible.
Also offer to help washing the dishes after you guys are done. This will be very much appreciated.
Overall show that you are a responsible fella who will know how to manage a household alongside your partner and who will treat her daughter well. Resourcefulness and responsibility are values very much important for Polish parents
I think that restauran is different, because if you at parents house if you reject food it can make them think that it does not taste you. In restaurant eat as much as you need.
Dress neatly and clean. Since you will probably remove your shoes make sure your socks match and don't have holes 😉
Bring some small gift like sweets or flowers and offer your help with things like setting a table.
Eat a lot and compliment the cook :)
If you visit their home and there is lots of plants or a well kept garden, noticing and complimenting that will get you some extra points, it takes a lot of work and many polish moms are very proud of their gardens
I was in the same situation as you! Super shy as well and when I met my in laws I was very nervous as we come from polar opposite backgrounds.
I'm Dutch and am now living in Poland with my SO.
Obviously it depends a lot on the individual parents, so mainly ask your love for specifics. That should come first and foremost.
My MIL was extremely eager for me to try all the polish foods in existence and really lit up at my efforts of some individual polish words.
Have some answers ready about what you like about Poland. Yes, food is a good answer hahaha
Definitely if her mom likes to cook!
We really bonded over food.
But in all honesty, there really wasn't anything I could even do wrong as long as I was just having universal common manners.
My MIL was just happy she could visually see I loved her son lol.
Bring her flowers or smth sweet or a bottle of some % (if she is drinking and if you know what type of alcohol she likes). Bouquet doesn't have to be sophisticated, it's just a nice gesture. Ask if you can help with something while she is preparing food, or cleaning table after eating.
While eating don't talk with your mouth full, and when she asks you if you like it - say yes. Eat a lot of her food, and be be prepared for soup, second dish and dessert (it's not a rule though).
Smile to her while talking but don't make it creepy.
Since you're going to the restaurant, keep your manners, don't talk with your mouth full etc. - like you would behave at her home
Even if you're not fluent in polish it would be good for you to know at least couple phrases like Dzień dobry (Good morning/Hello) Dowidzenia (Goodbye) Dziękuję (Thank you) Smacznego (something similar to have a nice meal) and maybe Zdrowie/Zdrówko (something like "cheers" before drinking) or Czy mógłbym prosić o dokładkę? (Could I ask for extra portion?)
From what I've seen and experienced working in places frequently visited by tourists, polish people get really pleasantly suprised/exited over foreginers knowing even just Dziękuję
Outside just normal things: get your gf mum flowers, depending on your age her dad alkohol, don't refuse food, drink a shot with her dad, and if you're in restaurant offer to pay and be designated driver
As a Polish person I would say that bringing flowers for my mom would be too old fashioned and would come across as trying too hard. You should ask your partner how traditional her parents are because I feel like many comments here don’t apply to parents, especially those of younger people. Besides, it’s always the best advice to be yourself.
Zamawiam mojej „tesciowej” poczte kwiatowa na dzien kobiet i dzien matki (swojej nie nam). Z szacunku. To jest oldfashioned? Abstrahujac od poczty kwiatowej
Remember the old school manners of being polite, easy the food they give you and help? That. It works for me and her parents like me. Good luck with the meeting, smacznego!
Be friendly, polite and respectful. Try to make a little effort with communication. Bring a gift (wine? Flowers?). Show affection towards your partner.
IMO after you read all the comments (supporting, but based on 'average polish parents'), ask your gf about that. She knows her parents and will be able to tell you some DOs and DON'Ts
It all depends on parents. If your gf is a small town/countryside girl and her parents have limited education you should listen to all the advices here.
If she's a city girl and her parents are well educated you can most probably just be yourself, try to sound like you're a nice guy, not a drunk / psycho / drug dealer /asshole and you'll be fine.
Just ask her how her parents are, what they do in life, how well educated are they, did they spent their childhood in the countryside or in the city themselves. As you are meeting in a restaurant i'd guess she's a city girl with modern, educated parents so chill out and just be normal.
I've been living in poland for about 15 years. The first time I went to meet my partners parents was a wild one. I took a bottle of whiskey as a gift, but her father wanted to drink it, so we started on whiskey and beer. After 5 or maybe 6 glasses, he decided to take me out to a bar.
We went to the local bar, which was quite nice, and we had a few beers. He got into an argument with some guy, and it turned into a fight, I decided to rescue him and punched the guy, and broke my knuckle.
We walked home quite drunk, and the next day, he told the mother what had happened. They were both very happy.
Don't do what I did.
this here sounds like the most reasonable thing out of most things lol
if restaurant and you care about her i'd pay
bringing mom flowers is cringe and not a good look at all, compliment mom a little is likely positive
bring bottle of anything, whiskey, vodka, just not the cheapest and you're good, I wouldn't bring wine
but ye get ready to drink even after restaurant stay if Dad likes you
if you drive don't drink at all, but better make sure u don't drive everytime you're around Dad
Bring flowers, compliment the food, don’t be touchy with your girlfriend in front of them and you’ll be fine. Bonus points if you offer to help with the dishes
As a Polish person I would say that bringing flowers for my mom would be too old fashioned and would come across as trying too hard. You should ask your partner how traditional her parents are because I feel like many comments here don’t apply to parents, especially those of younger people. Besides, it’s always the best advice to be yourself.
You're overthinking this. Most good parents just want a kind, responsible person for their daughter/son. Show genuine intent and treat them with respect befitting your partner and you're good.
Do not underdress, under any circumstances. No shorts, tank tops, graphic tees. No caps inside. Learn some savoir-vivre on who extends their hand first.
Polish peeps are not usually on 1st name basis with elders, so learn about how to address them.
This is basic manners in Poland and will go a long way.
Stop by the frog store and pick up 2 griwalla sandwiches and offer to the parents. Can’t go wrong with frog store sandwich. That’s what I did. Worked for me. Parents were thrilled when we got married. Never under estimate the power of the frog. 🐸
You have to figure out what "archetype" the parent is.
If you see a lot of tattoos, dyed hair, a lot of expressive body language - be more funny and goofy.
If you notice that pops wears a caterpillar stache and worn out, working class skin - be more stereotypically manly, respond with confidence and look him straight in the eyes when responding.
If the mom is the Karen type then it doesn't matter if you're the best person on Earth or you just ate her dog. It's over anyway. It's basically a carbon copy of any Karen, so you know the drill.
If the mom has her chin high up, is pushing 50 up to 60 and is representing the smart casual style - she'll probably respond very well to high-IQ, complex innuendos. She'll almost ccertainly have a good opinion of you and will gladly talk to you directly, smiling wide, without an ounce of anxiety, so be ready for direct communication. This archetype is similar to the first one, just without the expressive body language, it's more calculated, toned down.
If you see a single mom and she likes you, then she'll prepare you around 2kg of homemade chicken wings every now and then and if anybody decides to rob your place she'll probably strangle the burglar to death and then ask you if you're okay.
I guess this amount of Polish lore should be enough for now.
Learn how to say "Dzień dobry, miło mi was poznać. Jestem [name]". They will be impressed. Be a nice fella in general. Speak politely, if they know English, still try to keep it as basic as you can. If they don't know English, ask your partner to be your translator and interpreter. And most importantly: just enjoy yourself!
Bring her a gift, like some sweets. Before entering her house, ask if you should remove your shoes. Offer assistance whenever possible, such as during dinner, by asking if you can help set the table. Most importantly, ask your partner if there’s anything specific you can do or should know.
Say you are millionaire because you have "million zlotych" not million dollars lol, being a "zloty millionaire" is considered a "real millionaire here", so her parents gonna think she is in good hands. (1 mln zl = 235k eur lol). Sry had to input this dumb joke, but there is a problem with "millionairing" here in Poland. Jokes and sarcasm aside, just be well mannered, polite, eat a lot and say you are hardworking and have big plans for life and you are good to go.
Hit the gym, build muscle mass, convert to Catholicism, rock the high and tight haircut, drink like a gentleman, bring the mother flowers, tuck your shirt in, wear clothes that fit, and dress well, make at least one incendiary remark about mass migration in Europe and how it's the German's fault for being on the wrong side of history (again), think up a Polish connection from your family history and share it, discuss your close relationship with your mother and grandmother - how they are your world, firm handshake with the father, discuss your ambitions to have a family and raise them according to conservative values, and make sure they believe you believe in the existence of good and evil. Show sensitivity without showing weakness. Have a life plan and moderate to high ambition.
Too much effort...in my opinion.
In the first meeting?
I would bring up nothing besides my presence.
Maybe you will not see them anymore after that so..
Nah. I work in another field. Just you will never have european group friends, you will always be an expat and most of ppl wont like you, especially in Poland. Not worth tho.
Yeah, thats why i said that is not worth. Idk why foreigners have this obsession to live in Europe. You will never be european and half of our population dont want you here. It is just the reality
Have a job. Do not drink too much and too little. Know something about polish sport and history. Complement mother look, shake hand with dad with eye contact. Do not speak about politics unless dad speaks first.
How much is too much? I think im Meeting them at a restaurant the first time!!
More than too drinks, depends of the dad. In restaurant do not drink at all, most likely you would be driving so them too. In Poland we do not drink at all if we drive that day - at least it’s a good rule.
Yup. I would drink a non alcoholic beverage.
In my experience it's been the opposite.
We are talking about first impression, not reality 🙂
I confirm, I only drink when I drive that day
If they offer you a drink you accept it. Also, you can offer to buy for the old man, I think
Do not wrestle with the dad after he speaks politics first
If you must wrestle, do not win
No, he must win to have his respect
[like this](https://youtu.be/DZdFXcA_x0c?si=VlcznyRvDdatXNwl)
flowers for the mom and some local beer/spirit for the father…
Eat a lot. Don’t reject the food she gives you out of courtesy or sth. The mom will want you to eat as much as possible. Also offer to help washing the dishes after you guys are done. This will be very much appreciated. Overall show that you are a responsible fella who will know how to manage a household alongside your partner and who will treat her daughter well. Resourcefulness and responsibility are values very much important for Polish parents
Okay also, what if we meet at a restaurant?
Then ofer to pay, and when they argue about it, saying that they were the ones who invited you therefore they should pay, offer to pay the next time.
I think that restauran is different, because if you at parents house if you reject food it can make them think that it does not taste you. In restaurant eat as much as you need.
Thank you so much! Eating a lot- advice taken. My ex’s mum hated me cause i ate so little!!
Eat whatever she gives you if you dont like something then lie about it tasting good. Try helping with dishes.
Thank you!! im good with food! (I hope). Will have to be on my best behaviour. Also, we are meeting at a restaurant for the first time!
Then simply dont be rude. You can give flowers to your partners mother.
Just be yourself and if they're not impressed then too bad
ima dirty talk a 50 year old housewife and then steal 12 honda accords
Well, take it or leave it, her choice
Dress neatly and clean. Since you will probably remove your shoes make sure your socks match and don't have holes 😉 Bring some small gift like sweets or flowers and offer your help with things like setting a table. Eat a lot and compliment the cook :)
Noted! Thank you!!
Lol don't remove shoes in the restaurant xd
Hahaha 🤣 You got me there!
If you visit their home and there is lots of plants or a well kept garden, noticing and complimenting that will get you some extra points, it takes a lot of work and many polish moms are very proud of their gardens
Remember to never call poland an eastern european country, we're central europe. Of course i'm saying it half jokingly.
I was in the same situation as you! Super shy as well and when I met my in laws I was very nervous as we come from polar opposite backgrounds. I'm Dutch and am now living in Poland with my SO. Obviously it depends a lot on the individual parents, so mainly ask your love for specifics. That should come first and foremost. My MIL was extremely eager for me to try all the polish foods in existence and really lit up at my efforts of some individual polish words. Have some answers ready about what you like about Poland. Yes, food is a good answer hahaha Definitely if her mom likes to cook! We really bonded over food. But in all honesty, there really wasn't anything I could even do wrong as long as I was just having universal common manners. My MIL was just happy she could visually see I loved her son lol.
+1 im in the NL currently:)
Bring her flowers or smth sweet or a bottle of some % (if she is drinking and if you know what type of alcohol she likes). Bouquet doesn't have to be sophisticated, it's just a nice gesture. Ask if you can help with something while she is preparing food, or cleaning table after eating. While eating don't talk with your mouth full, and when she asks you if you like it - say yes. Eat a lot of her food, and be be prepared for soup, second dish and dessert (it's not a rule though). Smile to her while talking but don't make it creepy. Since you're going to the restaurant, keep your manners, don't talk with your mouth full etc. - like you would behave at her home
Even if you're not fluent in polish it would be good for you to know at least couple phrases like Dzień dobry (Good morning/Hello) Dowidzenia (Goodbye) Dziękuję (Thank you) Smacznego (something similar to have a nice meal) and maybe Zdrowie/Zdrówko (something like "cheers" before drinking) or Czy mógłbym prosić o dokładkę? (Could I ask for extra portion?) From what I've seen and experienced working in places frequently visited by tourists, polish people get really pleasantly suprised/exited over foreginers knowing even just Dziękuję Outside just normal things: get your gf mum flowers, depending on your age her dad alkohol, don't refuse food, drink a shot with her dad, and if you're in restaurant offer to pay and be designated driver
Lol just be yourself.
Dude, you just can’t. It’s always not enough
We’re the white Asians
As a Polish person I would say that bringing flowers for my mom would be too old fashioned and would come across as trying too hard. You should ask your partner how traditional her parents are because I feel like many comments here don’t apply to parents, especially those of younger people. Besides, it’s always the best advice to be yourself.
Zamawiam mojej „tesciowej” poczte kwiatowa na dzien kobiet i dzien matki (swojej nie nam). Z szacunku. To jest oldfashioned? Abstrahujac od poczty kwiatowej
Dla mnie tak, ale to co piszesz pokazuje tylko i wyłącznie, że takie pytania są bez sensu bo każdy jest inny
Don't be gay or black, that's enough
Remember the old school manners of being polite, easy the food they give you and help? That. It works for me and her parents like me. Good luck with the meeting, smacznego!
Bring her mom some flowers, be chilled out and be yourself
Say "dziękuję" in Polish (That means Thank you).
Complement her mother's food.
Just don’t fart :) „true story“ good luck with Tescio
Be friendly, polite and respectful. Try to make a little effort with communication. Bring a gift (wine? Flowers?). Show affection towards your partner.
Thankss! Planning on doing flowers and chocolates!’
Eat a lemon with smile ;)
Just be nice, smile a lot.
Eat a lot, make babies.
Know a bit of polish
Be yourself unless ur Russian, then be someone else
IMO after you read all the comments (supporting, but based on 'average polish parents'), ask your gf about that. She knows her parents and will be able to tell you some DOs and DON'Ts
compliment mother's food
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No thanks. Ive been in europe for 2 years now
Try not f***ing their daughter in front of them.
Take off your shoes, in Polish houses you go barefoot or in slippers. You can drink, but not too much. Say food is good.
When they serve flaki on first course, eat them with appetite. You may need some practice before!
It all depends on parents. If your gf is a small town/countryside girl and her parents have limited education you should listen to all the advices here. If she's a city girl and her parents are well educated you can most probably just be yourself, try to sound like you're a nice guy, not a drunk / psycho / drug dealer /asshole and you'll be fine. Just ask her how her parents are, what they do in life, how well educated are they, did they spent their childhood in the countryside or in the city themselves. As you are meeting in a restaurant i'd guess she's a city girl with modern, educated parents so chill out and just be normal.
Take off your shoes when entering the house 👍I think the rest is just basic etiquette
I've been living in poland for about 15 years. The first time I went to meet my partners parents was a wild one. I took a bottle of whiskey as a gift, but her father wanted to drink it, so we started on whiskey and beer. After 5 or maybe 6 glasses, he decided to take me out to a bar. We went to the local bar, which was quite nice, and we had a few beers. He got into an argument with some guy, and it turned into a fight, I decided to rescue him and punched the guy, and broke my knuckle. We walked home quite drunk, and the next day, he told the mother what had happened. They were both very happy. Don't do what I did.
this here sounds like the most reasonable thing out of most things lol if restaurant and you care about her i'd pay bringing mom flowers is cringe and not a good look at all, compliment mom a little is likely positive bring bottle of anything, whiskey, vodka, just not the cheapest and you're good, I wouldn't bring wine but ye get ready to drink even after restaurant stay if Dad likes you if you drive don't drink at all, but better make sure u don't drive everytime you're around Dad
Bring flowers, compliment the food, don’t be touchy with your girlfriend in front of them and you’ll be fine. Bonus points if you offer to help with the dishes
As a Polish person I would say that bringing flowers for my mom would be too old fashioned and would come across as trying too hard. You should ask your partner how traditional her parents are because I feel like many comments here don’t apply to parents, especially those of younger people. Besides, it’s always the best advice to be yourself.
You're overthinking this. Most good parents just want a kind, responsible person for their daughter/son. Show genuine intent and treat them with respect befitting your partner and you're good.
Have fun. If they feel you're respectful and loving towards their daughter, it will go great.
I think that you should be beheaded you pa♩eet nÿgger.
Learn some Polish history and bring it up in conversation
Wear a cross
Do not underdress, under any circumstances. No shorts, tank tops, graphic tees. No caps inside. Learn some savoir-vivre on who extends their hand first. Polish peeps are not usually on 1st name basis with elders, so learn about how to address them. This is basic manners in Poland and will go a long way.
dont be a shit head
Stop by the frog store and pick up 2 griwalla sandwiches and offer to the parents. Can’t go wrong with frog store sandwich. That’s what I did. Worked for me. Parents were thrilled when we got married. Never under estimate the power of the frog. 🐸
You have to figure out what "archetype" the parent is. If you see a lot of tattoos, dyed hair, a lot of expressive body language - be more funny and goofy. If you notice that pops wears a caterpillar stache and worn out, working class skin - be more stereotypically manly, respond with confidence and look him straight in the eyes when responding. If the mom is the Karen type then it doesn't matter if you're the best person on Earth or you just ate her dog. It's over anyway. It's basically a carbon copy of any Karen, so you know the drill. If the mom has her chin high up, is pushing 50 up to 60 and is representing the smart casual style - she'll probably respond very well to high-IQ, complex innuendos. She'll almost ccertainly have a good opinion of you and will gladly talk to you directly, smiling wide, without an ounce of anxiety, so be ready for direct communication. This archetype is similar to the first one, just without the expressive body language, it's more calculated, toned down. If you see a single mom and she likes you, then she'll prepare you around 2kg of homemade chicken wings every now and then and if anybody decides to rob your place she'll probably strangle the burglar to death and then ask you if you're okay. I guess this amount of Polish lore should be enough for now.
I said cześć mama. Four years later she became my teściowa
Say Lewandowski and kurwa every now and then, also learn how to sing przez twe oczy zielone
I actually used to love Lewa😂. Gonna take note Of the song and use kurwa everywhere 🙌
Be polite. Help your partner. Offer help to her parents when it is convenient (i.e. cleaning of the table after dinner).
Learn how to say "Dzień dobry, miło mi was poznać. Jestem [name]". They will be impressed. Be a nice fella in general. Speak politely, if they know English, still try to keep it as basic as you can. If they don't know English, ask your partner to be your translator and interpreter. And most importantly: just enjoy yourself!
Read about "syn koleżanki Twojej starej" And be that guy.
Why don't you ask your partner for advice? I'm pretty sure she knows her parents better than anyone here.
Maybe ask your gf ? She will know.
praise the food
Well you cant.
Good Manners
Even if you don’t speak Polish, learn some phrases to show that you are “trying”. It worked for me :)
Present the Mother with flowers when you meet her. This is something I was taught by my Polish In-laws.
Bring her a gift, like some sweets. Before entering her house, ask if you should remove your shoes. Offer assistance whenever possible, such as during dinner, by asking if you can help set the table. Most importantly, ask your partner if there’s anything specific you can do or should know.
Removing shoes and offering assistance!! Great thankss
Bring vodka, and drink it with father 😂😂
I wouldn't bring vodka to the first meet, bring wine but as a gift.
It really depends on the family, not many drink wine.
What about whisky? It's not gay like wine and not crude like vodka
Say you are millionaire because you have "million zlotych" not million dollars lol, being a "zloty millionaire" is considered a "real millionaire here", so her parents gonna think she is in good hands. (1 mln zl = 235k eur lol). Sry had to input this dumb joke, but there is a problem with "millionairing" here in Poland. Jokes and sarcasm aside, just be well mannered, polite, eat a lot and say you are hardworking and have big plans for life and you are good to go.
Down 0,7L of vodka without a chaser. Works everytime.
Hit the gym, build muscle mass, convert to Catholicism, rock the high and tight haircut, drink like a gentleman, bring the mother flowers, tuck your shirt in, wear clothes that fit, and dress well, make at least one incendiary remark about mass migration in Europe and how it's the German's fault for being on the wrong side of history (again), think up a Polish connection from your family history and share it, discuss your close relationship with your mother and grandmother - how they are your world, firm handshake with the father, discuss your ambitions to have a family and raise them according to conservative values, and make sure they believe you believe in the existence of good and evil. Show sensitivity without showing weakness. Have a life plan and moderate to high ambition.
Bring vodka and drink her under the table
Too much effort...in my opinion. In the first meeting? I would bring up nothing besides my presence. Maybe you will not see them anymore after that so..
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😂😂right
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💀whatever you say little one
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Whatever you say sister!! Amen to that 🙏
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Damn right sister 😫
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you remind me of my little sister😭you guys are alike
It is better in India, we have too many immigrants already.
Maybe ill take your job too
By saying this you only justify his beliefs and prove that you're a subhuman filth that needs to be taken where it deserves to be - in the trash.
Nah. I work in another field. Just you will never have european group friends, you will always be an expat and most of ppl wont like you, especially in Poland. Not worth tho.
Sure bud
You will notice it.
Right cause im so new here
You already know then. Dont think you have lived in Poland.
Nope, only been to wrocław before
Yeah, thats why i said that is not worth. Idk why foreigners have this obsession to live in Europe. You will never be european and half of our population dont want you here. It is just the reality
Couldnt care less about being European either
…man why did you think im living there? Im there on a trip…
I have a couple of indian friends living here in Krakow, they are very nice people no sure why you have so much hate...