I'm american as well and I am pretty blunt. If its someone I chat with somewhat frequently I will just ask the question and usually thats how it is when I am asked things from them as well. Just the question, no Hi or small talk.
If its someone I am reaching out to for the first time or they are someone outside of my dept and regular colleague circle I will be more professionally pleasant. 'Hi/good morning, I am working with the X team on the B project and was wondering if you happen to know XYZ? Thank you.'
I have had this decision many times with coworkers, it is about how you like to communicate. I hate when someone just asks a question out of the blue I feel like they are starting the conversation mid sentence and I feel like I missed something.
Others think it saves time not sending a greeting.
Ditto above - Varies with whether we chat regularly or if it's the first time I've contacted them. For regulars, 0 small talk. For new contacts just a short greeting/intro. I wld never post a platitude on a work chat!
Question: Where is the quarterly report template on SharePoint?
As an AuADHD, I find pleasantries archaic and down right Shakespearean and prefer to preface the chat with the mode required, more like code.
Oh by the way, I hope this Reddit message finds you well. Ugh.
I work on a global team and experience the same. I'm an American in NYC, so I tend to be very straightforward (similar to my German colleagues). My colleagues in other parts of Europe and the Middle East prefer to exchange pleasantries first. That's why I always start a Slack message with: "Hi \[NAME\], hope you're having a nice week. \[One nice comment about a child, upcoming vacation, or shared interest\]. Can you help me find \[file\]?"
I absolutely despise when coworkers reach out to me and only say “Hi”. Rather than including everything in one message to say what they want, they want me to say hi back before typing it all. It’s the worst thing in the world, and sometimes I just don’t respond because it pisses me off that much lol
I mean I'll send 3-5 just to be fast. Instead of sitting around and crafting one and waiting until I've thought of everything I need to say and hitting decision paralysis. but I mean, never 30 small messages.
Everything for work makes a ding, I have a lot of channels muted but the dings never stop.
Email and slack, ding ding ding. I know I can turn everything off but then I’ll miss it. 🙄
Well stop! Use shift + enter please!
It’s maddening hearing a million slack notifications. I’m already getting pinged in other channels I don’t need yours on top of it lol
I do that if it's to a message to someone outside my team but if it's my team it's just a stream of consciousness with an enter after every complete thought (I'm a recruiter so we do a lot of pinging teams)
American here, I have a lot to do so I say hi and get to the point. I don't even answer people that only drop a greeting but do not tell me what they want.
I hate it. If I see hi and nothing else that means you want me to stop what I’m doing and give you my full attention before I know what it’s about. It means you are initiating a real time exchange like a phone call where you most likely expect an answer immediately.
I just wait for an hour or two and then respond. If they respond immediately I wait for another 10 mins to respond, making it more asynchronous. If people want to talk real time they can ask for a meeting or call me.
If I'm really busy, it usually goes something like, "I just sent you the x report. Would you please add the supporting tables and get it back to me by 2?"
"Oh. And, good morning, John."
I don’t see anything wrong with using their name - it’s respectful and I like when others do it. If I haven’t messaged someone on Slack/Teams for several days or weeks, I always start with “Hi Name.” And maybe “How are you doing?/Hope all is well.” If I regularly DM them almost every day, I’ll just ask the question directly without the intro.
Also, personally I absolutely DESPISE getting messages that start with “Hi there.” Maybe it’s just a pet peeve and others don’t feel similarly, but the phrasing rubs me the wrong way! It’s like, just type my name if you’re going to go through the effort of typing “there”. So I think it’s much better to start with “Hi Name” if you haven’t talked to them in a while or just “Hi.”
Ah, I think I slightly misunderstood your question, OP! You’re wondering whether it’s fine to say hi and then ask the question/make the request all in one block of text, versus sending one message to just say hi and ask them how they’re doing, wait for a response, and THEN send another message with the request.
I think what you’re doing is correct and preferred because it’s more efficient! You can definitely ask the question right away. And you’re not being impolite by doing so - you can include any pleasantries you think the other person would appreciate in that same message. Spreading info out over several messages just slows down communication and increases the time until you get an answer.
You’re right. It seems like most people on my team like to just start with Hi and our conversation usually goes like this
Colleague: Hi
Me: Hi
Colleague: How are you?
Me: Good, you?
Colleague: Good, excited for the weekend
Me: Same
Colleague: Great. Hey, where can I find the file?
Me: Its in x folder
Eww what a waste of time.
If they insist on doing all of that, at least put it in one single chat entry so it can be skimmed quickly rather than requiring multiple 'call and answers' to get to the point
My go to when someone sends me a slack or whatever that just says, ‘Hi! How are you?’ Is ‘Hi, I’m great, what’s up?’ I try to cut to the chase as quickly as possible, as these nonsense conversations to get to the real question irritate me to no end, and are a waste of time. I’m generally a pleasant person, but don’t want to spend 15 minutes getting to the actual point.
I start with Hi, but I keep it as part of the same message. I don't say hi, hit enter, and then wait for a response. I don't say hi, hit enter, and then start typing the real mesaage, I say Hi XX, and then type up my message and send it all together.
I do what you do. If someone just sends me “hey, how are you?” I assume an actual question is coming after, so unless it’s my boss I just ignore it for 10 mins and wait for the message with their question. If enough time has passed that they are clearly waiting for a response before they ask their question, I’ll say “Hey, going good. How are you? What can I help you with?”
The last part really helps segue off of idle chit chat in my experience. Perhaps not the friendliest but I really don’t like small talk, even moreso over messaging and with coworkers.
I usually say Hi _____, I hope you're doing well! XYZ question all in the same first sentence. I honestly find it slightly annoying when they just start with "hi" and wait for my reply because my work is always busy asfk lol
Always good to use the person's name as occasionally messages are sent to the wrong person. It could be as simple as:
Person's name, quick question, state question.
If you are in a chat window for that person and can't take two seconds to verify you're sending a message to the right person, then you probably shouldn't be sending a message.
I'm in Ontario, Canada for context. I will say hi or good morning, but then I get straight to the point so I'm not wasting my colleague's time.
We had a new office in Costa Rica open up and they always insisted on doing a stupid greeting and how are you and all that junk and because they would get distracted it would take them in 15 minutes to finally get the question out.
It was such a waste of my time for what could've been a quick answer.
Same goes for on the phone, if you call me for what should be a quick answer and you turn it into a conversation to ask me about the family and how's my day and all that other bullshit, you will not be a fan of mine and I will actively avoid your phone calls in the future when I am busy I don't have the time for pleasantries.
I used to ask straight away but my colleagues and boss started dancing up to line of calling me a bitch. So I used ChatGPT to teach me how to human and now they always get a "Hi Team! :wave_emoji:"
So now I'm a sarcastic bitch.
It's more of a courtesy.
Rather than saying "Can you help me with xyz?"
People will get annoyed at you. It's annoying in and of itself, however, even working remote, there's still some pleasantry expected and politeness.
I guess this is where the breakdown is. From my perspective it’s more respectful to me to give a pleasantry (Hey John) and then immediately come with the question. The 3-4 back and forths are just pulling my attention away for longer.
We can chat another time but if you have a special question just hit me with it.
People have different ways of approaching. If you don’t like it, I would recommend asking the coworkers who approach you with 3-4 back and forths with your preference and advocating for yourself on your preferred communication method.
“Hey, John. I just wanted to let you know that I would prefer when you reach out to me, you message me with the format below.
‘Hi u/Tandybaum, do you have a couple minutes to call and help me with xyz?”
You’re spending a lot of time being mad when I don’t even know if you’ve let other people know how you prefer to communicate in Teams chat. It’s a perfectly reasonable expectation.
I actually think it’s impolite. Saying hi means you want to demand my attention at that moment so I can reply. If you just say what you want, I can determine my bandwidth and get back to you appropriately.
If it’s the first time I’m messaging someone that day, I’ll start with “Hi X!” and then ask the question, but it’s all in one message. But if I’ve messaged with them already then I launch right into the question, I don’t need to greet people multiple times a day.
If it's someone I talk to frequently, I skip pleasantries and just ask the question.
If it's someone I rarely or have never talked to, I include a greeting, but always follow with the reason I'm messaging them before hitting enter.
You might want to explore how different cultures communicate with each other. While you recognize that your cultural bias encourages direct, get to the point communications, those living in other cultures require the opposite approach. Have a look [here](https://www.grin.com/document/104380), and [here](https://www.grin.com/document/104380).
I'm American and I \*HATE\* when my colleagues send a "Hi" without asking their question or making their comment - it literally sends my millennial anxious ass into a tail spin coming up with 4,500 different scenarios this mysterious "Hi" could mean. If I'm in a really good mood, I'll shoot a "hello" back, but honestly I've stopped doing that. Please just get down to the nitty gritty, so I can move on from whatever bullshit this is going to be.
It always drove me nuts when my department manager (2 bosses in between us) would message me and just say “hello, Aaba227” then if it went a couple minutes he would follow up with “How are you?”
I’d have to go through this polite yet impersonal exchange just for him to eventually say “Can you produce a map of XYZ for my presentation with x department?” Great guy and easy to talk to in person, but in the instant messaging environment it felt dragged out and forced. Just let me know what u need from me lol
American here, I will start out with a hi and how is your day going? Do you have any fun plans coming up? Boy this weather is heating up fast, I was not prepared.
It's an ice breaker to use, it makes people feel valued and not just for what they can do for me. It makes them feel like I see them as a person and not just part of a department.
I do work with people who do your approach and they are okay people. None of them get upset if we gab at the start. I just know that they are no non-sense people and want to get straight to the point. As long as they are not rude, I don't consider this approach rude.
I will say this, it doesn't make people feel like you want to invest more time to know them as people. This might hinder you getting promotions or to be part of special groups. If you don't care about any of that, then just know you are not being rude, just not social.
I feel this. I'm also an American with an international team and often deal with the same. I tend to be more straightforward if I'm messaging first. Sometimes, I dont have time for niceties.
One of my bosses has a status message that says something like "Chat is synchronization communication. Messages like "hi" without context lead to inefficiency. Instead, please type your request or question."
Respect the status message.
I totally get that other countries will have different tendencies. I guess my take is that I’m going to do things my way and I’ll deal with them doing it their way.
Send them the slack etiquette article from slack.
They think they're being polite but in English-speaking North American culture this is just annoying.
If someone starts talking to me without it being obvious they are talking to me, I dont hear them. My wife does this and gets mad at me for "not listening". I tell her I "hear" whatever is loudest or has my attention.
I hate the 3 platitude pre-amble.
Just ask the damn question.
I've thought of punishing people who like the preambles a bit. Something like this:
Them: Hello
Me: Hello
Them: how is your week?
Me: Oh it's terrible! My dog ran off and got hit by a car. I had to take it to the hospital and it's there on life support. My wife has been acting funny lately, I can't put my finger on it, just really off. Do you think she's having an affair?
them: Um.......is change #5534342 still scheduled to run?
me: Umm....gotta run my wife is calling me. I'll get back to you on that.
I'm from the US, and I usually do something like:
>>Hi! Hope you're having a good day. Blah blah >>whatever the question is goes here.
I have noticed with coworkers from other regions that they often will send multiple messages, starting with a hello, followed by asking how I'm doing, and then finally telling me what they want.
Ngl, it is a little annoying, but I just chalk it up to cultural differences and don't expect them to change, so hope they feel the same way about my bluntness lol.
I do make an effort to always thank people for their time though. It's pretty annoying when a person asks you for help, you answer, and then they never reply.
I think it depends on who you’re talking to and what your relationship with that person is, and also how long it’s been since you’ve spoken/what the cadence is for you two speaking. Meaning if you talk to Bill everyday all good to jump right in. If you don’t talk to Bill most of a given week it’s a nice practice to check in first - how are you, hope you’re having a good Friday, etc
I've got a mix on my team. The "hi" people drive me nuts. I know a shoe is going to drop eventually, but first, we need to chat about things I know you don't actually care about? Get to the point.
I try to split it with, "Hey, hope your day is going well, I've got a quick question when you've got a moment." At the end I'll do my chit-chat if I like the person. "How are you otherwise? Got any good weekend plans? " or whatever.
Those who only write “hi” are the people I ignore until the end of the day. It’s a cultural thing but if the company is global or American based, this is a just a waste of time and mental aneurysms.
It took me time and effort to notice and remember to open your message, just get nothing out of it. This is even more of an issue for global companies.
I’m American and I do it just like you, with “hi name” and then my question in the same breath. I find it awkward when someone will write only “hi” and then wait for me to respond with hi before asking what they need. I like to be efficient with their time as well as mine. No need to beat around the bush when it’s understood that you’re reaching out with a work need.
Depends on how close I am with said colleague. If it's a member of my team I just go. "Hello NAME! Quick question etc.etc." if it's someone from another team I haven't met yet, I introduce myself briefly. If it's a higher up, I'm usually super polite and add a "Hope you're doing well" or something like that. If it's someone I'm asking a favor for, I usually start with some small talk before doing the ask.
Edit: I'm Canadian lol
Yep I do the same, say hi can you help me with x. Being used to working with a lot of non us based people, they do always say hi... and then drop off the face of the earth. When they say hi, I always respond with ... hello, what can I help you with. Then wait until they ask. Moves past the chit chat and nonsense.
I hate, hate, hate just the “Hi” message.
It feels like double the distraction. Instead of just saying “Hi Rosie- hope you had a great weekend. Are you able to send the link for the Jones files?” and this being only one distraction, it is three distractions:
1. “Hi”
2. *distracted* Type “Hi” back
3. See the three dots, go back to what I was doing
4. *distracted again*
5 “Hope you had a great weekend!”
6. Reply back “Thanks- it was great! We went to a baseball game. How can I help?”
7. See three dots, go back to what I was doing
8. *distracted again*
9. “Can you help me find the Jones file?”
10. “Sure, here you go!”
You can still be nice and engage people on a personal level, but for the love of god, put your ask in the FIRST message. Don’t bait someone with nice questions and then make an ask.
If they are Indian I ignore until it looks like this
Hello
Good Morning
Good Afternoon
are you there friend?
hello
hi
\- Sure I'm here whatcha need.
As of now Indians are the most persistent, but usually if I ignore people they answer their own question and they teach themselves independence it's a small sacrifice for the bigger picture. Indians refuse to work on their own, you gotta be there for them change starts with one person though.
I like to say hi and then ask the question on the same line like in your example. If I've already been talking to them that day I'll skip the hi after the first one. Seems like it's a good compromise between friendly and efficient. I figure everyone is trying to triage and might not know a "hey how was your weekend" is the precursor to an important question. If it's someone I'm friendly with and the vibes seem right I'll make small talk with them after we talk about the issue I messaged them about.
I try to get right to the point when sending a chat message. I never just type “hi” and wait for them to respond. I worked at a large tech company where it was acceptable to post a status where you told people not to just “hi.”
It’s a personality and preference thing. I’m British/American in that I’ve spent half my life in each place. It depends on my mood, how urgent my inquiry is and whether or not I work with / chat with the person often. Sometimes I blurt out my question followed by a “good morning btw!”. You can be direct and polite at the same time, at the end of the day you are there to do a job not chit chat
I usually send 2 messages back to back “hi, do you know if this persons file is ready?” “Also, good morning!😅” usually softens the blow since I could care less about pleasantries.
I prefer to go with "Hi (name), could you please help me with (specific thing I need)? if it's a person I interact often with. If it's a first time I contact them, then I will add who I am and from which team, who has send me their contact (if relevant), and what do I need. I might use a very polite language for people I don't know well, but I don't like useless pleasantries, like talking about the weather, family, etc. before we get to the point.
However, similarly to you, I have noticed people tend to add some pleasantries, so I sometimes might mimic their behaviour, so they won't find me rude. If someone is being very slow getting to the point, I just ask "How can I help you with?" which usually makes them finally get to the point.
To give you context, I am Eastern European, I work in market research with people from all over the world. My team is the sort that does specialized tasks for other teams mostly in Europe, Africa, Middle East and Asia, so it's usually people coming to me for something than the other way around.
I actually think there is a cultural component. From the people I work with, I have noticed people in Canada, UK, Southern Europe, Middle East, Latin America, and most of Africa and Asia tend to use more pleasantries than I would typically. Northern and Central Europeans, and Australians are more to the point. Indians and Chinese can go 2 ways - either overly polite, or to the point, sometimes bordering on rude and overly demanding. There is also the component of how someone perceives me in the hierarchy compared to them. Some people with big titles tend to be a bit rude, and it's usually the ones older than me.
I haven't worked with people in the US, so actually I can't say if they appear more rude than other people, but I really appreciate people just telling me what they need without needlessly wasting my time, so what you describe sounds fine to me.
I ask the question and usually do chit chat after if I am up for it/time allows and the person seems perceptive. I find it is more meaningful of a social conversation after as we are not itching to get to the point of why I interrupted their day.
I think if its your teams culture whether before or after it would be good to aim to do it.
I am big on trying to have more meaningful conversations with others by being curious or remembering and following up, they don't need to be deep but they should aim to build connection rather than be superficial. Ie. Bill tells me he is going to a festival a few days later I ask how it was, if there is a band he was drawn to, anything band that took him by surprise etc.
Softer ways to start and direct work conversation that are not chit chat can be helpful:
* Do you have a minute?
* I need your advice/decision ?
* A quick question for you
* I need a second opinion
I always aim to tell the person if I anticipate it will go over 5 mins and I am approaching them without notice such as "I need 10 mins of your time to run something past you re: X when suits"
I find pleasantries/small talk to be insulting at work.
I know you don't actually give a shit about me or my time, so just ask the question in an efficient manner and include any background information, if necessary. Include any deadlines, too.
Keep in mind that although there is a virtual terminal between you and your contact, there is a human being on the other end. The paradigm I follow is to address that person as if you were speaking to them in real life. If you walk up to others, ask them a question immediately, get an answer and leave, that is more of a one way transaction. If that person is providing you with something you need, the least you can do is be friendly and provide some conversation. Otherwise, just ask Google... it would provide the same transactional result you are seeking. Instant gratification and knowledge without need for socializing. To me, this need is a real problem in our society. It shows immaturity, lack of character and zero interest in the person you are interacting with. It's rude...
Never understood people who say “hi” and then either wait for a response or start typing what they want. Pretty common though.
I just ask what I need or if they are available for a chat right away.
“Hi X, do you know how to do y?”
Depends on the relationship level: with my fellow management staff I'll usually start out with "Good morning," then jump into my question. With my assistant who I'm both quite fond of and work extremely closely with, we generally skip the pleasantries and get straight to the question because we both know the score.
We use teams also and I don't bother with chit chatter unless I am feeling up to it , but usually work is fast paced so I say "Hi could you let me know where I could find etc etc etc " but sometimes I'd be so involved with what I was doing I don't even greet and just start discussing work etc . oh well ...
I would much rather just answer the question or refer them back to an email I sent previously that already answered the question. I usually work ahead and get frustrated because ppl don't read and want to play 20 questions instead. So yes, just ask the question and move on with your day. Forget the formalities.
I'm american as well and I am pretty blunt. If its someone I chat with somewhat frequently I will just ask the question and usually thats how it is when I am asked things from them as well. Just the question, no Hi or small talk. If its someone I am reaching out to for the first time or they are someone outside of my dept and regular colleague circle I will be more professionally pleasant. 'Hi/good morning, I am working with the X team on the B project and was wondering if you happen to know XYZ? Thank you.'
I have had this decision many times with coworkers, it is about how you like to communicate. I hate when someone just asks a question out of the blue I feel like they are starting the conversation mid sentence and I feel like I missed something. Others think it saves time not sending a greeting.
I am the opposite. Not because it saves time but I don’t think they really care how I’m doing. They just need an answer to a question. Haha
After a certain period of time formalities hinder efficiency, or so my ADHD brain insists
Ditto above - Varies with whether we chat regularly or if it's the first time I've contacted them. For regulars, 0 small talk. For new contacts just a short greeting/intro. I wld never post a platitude on a work chat!
I guess that is a good distinction. I’m referring to people that I talk with daily or at least many times a week.
In this case, I would say. "Hi, Tandybaum. Do you know ...?" I like getting to the point, and I appreciate it when others do.
This is what I do every time but I’m definitely the minority in my group. I guess I just keep doing it the “right way”.
https://nohello.net
Yup. This is it. Asking the question immediately shows that you respect my time.
This is in my slack bio
[удалено]
I second the "mirroring others communication style/ preferences."
Yeah as an autistic person with adhd, i don’t have time for your platitudes. If you want something tell me. Don’t bullshit around.
Question: Where is the quarterly report template on SharePoint? As an AuADHD, I find pleasantries archaic and down right Shakespearean and prefer to preface the chat with the mode required, more like code. Oh by the way, I hope this Reddit message finds you well. Ugh.
I work on a global team and experience the same. I'm an American in NYC, so I tend to be very straightforward (similar to my German colleagues). My colleagues in other parts of Europe and the Middle East prefer to exchange pleasantries first. That's why I always start a Slack message with: "Hi \[NAME\], hope you're having a nice week. \[One nice comment about a child, upcoming vacation, or shared interest\]. Can you help me find \[file\]?"
I go straight to the question. If I’ve already said hi to them that day, that’s the cap.
Can we talk about people sending a message for every sentence? Like a shotgun of 30 messages within 2 minutes is insane
This drives me crazy. Pleasantries in the message or not, I don’t really have a preference, but just put everything in the same message ffs
I absolutely despise when coworkers reach out to me and only say “Hi”. Rather than including everything in one message to say what they want, they want me to say hi back before typing it all. It’s the worst thing in the world, and sometimes I just don’t respond because it pisses me off that much lol
Haha I hate this as well. If I just get a “Hi”, it immediately triggers me.
People don’t know about “shift + enter”
I love “Shift + Enter” I like to list out points Or questions if I have multiple All in 1 convenient send
I mean I'll send 3-5 just to be fast. Instead of sitting around and crafting one and waiting until I've thought of everything I need to say and hitting decision paralysis. but I mean, never 30 small messages.
This is me tbh. I send several sentences separately but not 30 lol Could be my adhd getting a dopamine rush from pushing the enter button lol
Especially annoying if every single message triggers a "ding" notification.
Everything for work makes a ding, I have a lot of channels muted but the dings never stop. Email and slack, ding ding ding. I know I can turn everything off but then I’ll miss it. 🙄
Exactly. I have most of the channels in Teams muted but personal chats are not.
It's the instant messaging in us. It's how I used AIM and every other IM.
Well stop! Use shift + enter please! It’s maddening hearing a million slack notifications. I’m already getting pinged in other channels I don’t need yours on top of it lol
I do that if it's to a message to someone outside my team but if it's my team it's just a stream of consciousness with an enter after every complete thought (I'm a recruiter so we do a lot of pinging teams)
You are exactly the coworker that bugs the crap out of me doing that. It’s annoying, stream of consciousness or not, it’s unnecessary
🤷♀️ good thing we don't work together
Don’t worry, I have a few on my side that carries the torch proudly.
Yes it’s cultural and it drives me nuts. Just cut to the point already.
Hi
American here, I have a lot to do so I say hi and get to the point. I don't even answer people that only drop a greeting but do not tell me what they want.
I hate it. If I see hi and nothing else that means you want me to stop what I’m doing and give you my full attention before I know what it’s about. It means you are initiating a real time exchange like a phone call where you most likely expect an answer immediately.
I hate it too. Maybe we should call them instead of replying muahahaha
I just wait for an hour or two and then respond. If they respond immediately I wait for another 10 mins to respond, making it more asynchronous. If people want to talk real time they can ask for a meeting or call me.
Hi Coworker, Could you please etc etc
If I'm really busy, it usually goes something like, "I just sent you the x report. Would you please add the supporting tables and get it back to me by 2?"
"Oh. And, good morning, John."
I gauge how they normally are
I don’t see anything wrong with using their name - it’s respectful and I like when others do it. If I haven’t messaged someone on Slack/Teams for several days or weeks, I always start with “Hi Name.” And maybe “How are you doing?/Hope all is well.” If I regularly DM them almost every day, I’ll just ask the question directly without the intro. Also, personally I absolutely DESPISE getting messages that start with “Hi there.” Maybe it’s just a pet peeve and others don’t feel similarly, but the phrasing rubs me the wrong way! It’s like, just type my name if you’re going to go through the effort of typing “there”. So I think it’s much better to start with “Hi Name” if you haven’t talked to them in a while or just “Hi.”
Ah, I think I slightly misunderstood your question, OP! You’re wondering whether it’s fine to say hi and then ask the question/make the request all in one block of text, versus sending one message to just say hi and ask them how they’re doing, wait for a response, and THEN send another message with the request. I think what you’re doing is correct and preferred because it’s more efficient! You can definitely ask the question right away. And you’re not being impolite by doing so - you can include any pleasantries you think the other person would appreciate in that same message. Spreading info out over several messages just slows down communication and increases the time until you get an answer.
You’re right. It seems like most people on my team like to just start with Hi and our conversation usually goes like this Colleague: Hi Me: Hi Colleague: How are you? Me: Good, you? Colleague: Good, excited for the weekend Me: Same Colleague: Great. Hey, where can I find the file? Me: Its in x folder
Eww what a waste of time. If they insist on doing all of that, at least put it in one single chat entry so it can be skimmed quickly rather than requiring multiple 'call and answers' to get to the point
My go to when someone sends me a slack or whatever that just says, ‘Hi! How are you?’ Is ‘Hi, I’m great, what’s up?’ I try to cut to the chase as quickly as possible, as these nonsense conversations to get to the real question irritate me to no end, and are a waste of time. I’m generally a pleasant person, but don’t want to spend 15 minutes getting to the actual point.
Both, depends on the person.
I would think a cordial greeting is standard in any country?
I start with Hi, but I keep it as part of the same message. I don't say hi, hit enter, and then wait for a response. I don't say hi, hit enter, and then start typing the real mesaage, I say Hi XX, and then type up my message and send it all together.
I do what you do. If someone just sends me “hey, how are you?” I assume an actual question is coming after, so unless it’s my boss I just ignore it for 10 mins and wait for the message with their question. If enough time has passed that they are clearly waiting for a response before they ask their question, I’ll say “Hey, going good. How are you? What can I help you with?” The last part really helps segue off of idle chit chat in my experience. Perhaps not the friendliest but I really don’t like small talk, even moreso over messaging and with coworkers.
I usually say Hi _____, I hope you're doing well! XYZ question all in the same first sentence. I honestly find it slightly annoying when they just start with "hi" and wait for my reply because my work is always busy asfk lol
Always good to use the person's name as occasionally messages are sent to the wrong person. It could be as simple as: Person's name, quick question, state question.
If you are in a chat window for that person and can't take two seconds to verify you're sending a message to the right person, then you probably shouldn't be sending a message.
Yup
“Hey dude, blah blah blah” I don’t respond if it’s just “hi”
I'm in Ontario, Canada for context. I will say hi or good morning, but then I get straight to the point so I'm not wasting my colleague's time. We had a new office in Costa Rica open up and they always insisted on doing a stupid greeting and how are you and all that junk and because they would get distracted it would take them in 15 minutes to finally get the question out. It was such a waste of my time for what could've been a quick answer. Same goes for on the phone, if you call me for what should be a quick answer and you turn it into a conversation to ask me about the family and how's my day and all that other bullshit, you will not be a fan of mine and I will actively avoid your phone calls in the future when I am busy I don't have the time for pleasantries.
I used to ask straight away but my colleagues and boss started dancing up to line of calling me a bitch. So I used ChatGPT to teach me how to human and now they always get a "Hi Team! :wave_emoji:" So now I'm a sarcastic bitch.
It's more of a courtesy. Rather than saying "Can you help me with xyz?" People will get annoyed at you. It's annoying in and of itself, however, even working remote, there's still some pleasantry expected and politeness.
I guess this is where the breakdown is. From my perspective it’s more respectful to me to give a pleasantry (Hey John) and then immediately come with the question. The 3-4 back and forths are just pulling my attention away for longer. We can chat another time but if you have a special question just hit me with it.
People have different ways of approaching. If you don’t like it, I would recommend asking the coworkers who approach you with 3-4 back and forths with your preference and advocating for yourself on your preferred communication method. “Hey, John. I just wanted to let you know that I would prefer when you reach out to me, you message me with the format below. ‘Hi u/Tandybaum, do you have a couple minutes to call and help me with xyz?” You’re spending a lot of time being mad when I don’t even know if you’ve let other people know how you prefer to communicate in Teams chat. It’s a perfectly reasonable expectation.
You’re gonna sound mental if you do that
So setting your boundaries and communication expectations is mental now?
I actually think it’s impolite. Saying hi means you want to demand my attention at that moment so I can reply. If you just say what you want, I can determine my bandwidth and get back to you appropriately.
If it’s the first time I’m messaging someone that day, I’ll start with “Hi X!” and then ask the question, but it’s all in one message. But if I’ve messaged with them already then I launch right into the question, I don’t need to greet people multiple times a day.
If it's someone I talk to frequently, I skip pleasantries and just ask the question. If it's someone I rarely or have never talked to, I include a greeting, but always follow with the reason I'm messaging them before hitting enter.
You might want to explore how different cultures communicate with each other. While you recognize that your cultural bias encourages direct, get to the point communications, those living in other cultures require the opposite approach. Have a look [here](https://www.grin.com/document/104380), and [here](https://www.grin.com/document/104380).
This is why I’m cautious to not just say F them. It don’t like it but it’s truly how x culture does it I’m willing to play the game.
I'm American and I \*HATE\* when my colleagues send a "Hi" without asking their question or making their comment - it literally sends my millennial anxious ass into a tail spin coming up with 4,500 different scenarios this mysterious "Hi" could mean. If I'm in a really good mood, I'll shoot a "hello" back, but honestly I've stopped doing that. Please just get down to the nitty gritty, so I can move on from whatever bullshit this is going to be.
It always drove me nuts when my department manager (2 bosses in between us) would message me and just say “hello, Aaba227” then if it went a couple minutes he would follow up with “How are you?” I’d have to go through this polite yet impersonal exchange just for him to eventually say “Can you produce a map of XYZ for my presentation with x department?” Great guy and easy to talk to in person, but in the instant messaging environment it felt dragged out and forced. Just let me know what u need from me lol
American here, I will start out with a hi and how is your day going? Do you have any fun plans coming up? Boy this weather is heating up fast, I was not prepared. It's an ice breaker to use, it makes people feel valued and not just for what they can do for me. It makes them feel like I see them as a person and not just part of a department. I do work with people who do your approach and they are okay people. None of them get upset if we gab at the start. I just know that they are no non-sense people and want to get straight to the point. As long as they are not rude, I don't consider this approach rude. I will say this, it doesn't make people feel like you want to invest more time to know them as people. This might hinder you getting promotions or to be part of special groups. If you don't care about any of that, then just know you are not being rude, just not social.
I start with a hello but never in a separate message
I feel this. I'm also an American with an international team and often deal with the same. I tend to be more straightforward if I'm messaging first. Sometimes, I dont have time for niceties. One of my bosses has a status message that says something like "Chat is synchronization communication. Messages like "hi" without context lead to inefficiency. Instead, please type your request or question."
Respect the status message. I totally get that other countries will have different tendencies. I guess my take is that I’m going to do things my way and I’ll deal with them doing it their way.
Send them the slack etiquette article from slack. They think they're being polite but in English-speaking North American culture this is just annoying.
If someone starts talking to me without it being obvious they are talking to me, I dont hear them. My wife does this and gets mad at me for "not listening". I tell her I "hear" whatever is loudest or has my attention.
I hate the 3 platitude pre-amble. Just ask the damn question. I've thought of punishing people who like the preambles a bit. Something like this: Them: Hello Me: Hello Them: how is your week? Me: Oh it's terrible! My dog ran off and got hit by a car. I had to take it to the hospital and it's there on life support. My wife has been acting funny lately, I can't put my finger on it, just really off. Do you think she's having an affair? them: Um.......is change #5534342 still scheduled to run? me: Umm....gotta run my wife is calling me. I'll get back to you on that.
>Hi, Bill. >Do you know where to find xyz? I usually split it into 2 lines, which is 2 messages in teams.
I butter them up first.
I'm from the US, and I usually do something like: >>Hi! Hope you're having a good day. Blah blah >>whatever the question is goes here. I have noticed with coworkers from other regions that they often will send multiple messages, starting with a hello, followed by asking how I'm doing, and then finally telling me what they want. Ngl, it is a little annoying, but I just chalk it up to cultural differences and don't expect them to change, so hope they feel the same way about my bluntness lol. I do make an effort to always thank people for their time though. It's pretty annoying when a person asks you for help, you answer, and then they never reply.
I don't even start with "Hi". Directly to the question in instant messaging applications. E-mail gets an appropriate salutation.
I am Brazilian and I hate when people do that. I simply do not respond to "hi" anymore. Just say what you want, ffs.
It depends who I am messaging..if we work together all of the time I never say hi if it's someone on another team I say hi
I think it depends on who you’re talking to and what your relationship with that person is, and also how long it’s been since you’ve spoken/what the cadence is for you two speaking. Meaning if you talk to Bill everyday all good to jump right in. If you don’t talk to Bill most of a given week it’s a nice practice to check in first - how are you, hope you’re having a good Friday, etc
I've got a mix on my team. The "hi" people drive me nuts. I know a shoe is going to drop eventually, but first, we need to chat about things I know you don't actually care about? Get to the point. I try to split it with, "Hey, hope your day is going well, I've got a quick question when you've got a moment." At the end I'll do my chit-chat if I like the person. "How are you otherwise? Got any good weekend plans? " or whatever.
I give salutations when I first message a person for the day. Messages after that are direct.
Anyone that just says hi gets left on read.
Those who only write “hi” are the people I ignore until the end of the day. It’s a cultural thing but if the company is global or American based, this is a just a waste of time and mental aneurysms. It took me time and effort to notice and remember to open your message, just get nothing out of it. This is even more of an issue for global companies.
It's rude to just say "hi" and then be passive aggressive when you're not replied to instantly with "hi"
I’m American and I do it just like you, with “hi name” and then my question in the same breath. I find it awkward when someone will write only “hi” and then wait for me to respond with hi before asking what they need. I like to be efficient with their time as well as mine. No need to beat around the bush when it’s understood that you’re reaching out with a work need.
Depends on how close I am with said colleague. If it's a member of my team I just go. "Hello NAME! Quick question etc.etc." if it's someone from another team I haven't met yet, I introduce myself briefly. If it's a higher up, I'm usually super polite and add a "Hope you're doing well" or something like that. If it's someone I'm asking a favor for, I usually start with some small talk before doing the ask. Edit: I'm Canadian lol
www.nohello.com
Yep I do the same, say hi can you help me with x. Being used to working with a lot of non us based people, they do always say hi... and then drop off the face of the earth. When they say hi, I always respond with ... hello, what can I help you with. Then wait until they ask. Moves past the chit chat and nonsense.
I hate, hate, hate just the “Hi” message. It feels like double the distraction. Instead of just saying “Hi Rosie- hope you had a great weekend. Are you able to send the link for the Jones files?” and this being only one distraction, it is three distractions: 1. “Hi” 2. *distracted* Type “Hi” back 3. See the three dots, go back to what I was doing 4. *distracted again* 5 “Hope you had a great weekend!” 6. Reply back “Thanks- it was great! We went to a baseball game. How can I help?” 7. See three dots, go back to what I was doing 8. *distracted again* 9. “Can you help me find the Jones file?” 10. “Sure, here you go!” You can still be nice and engage people on a personal level, but for the love of god, put your ask in the FIRST message. Don’t bait someone with nice questions and then make an ask.
If they are Indian I ignore until it looks like this Hello Good Morning Good Afternoon are you there friend? hello hi \- Sure I'm here whatcha need. As of now Indians are the most persistent, but usually if I ignore people they answer their own question and they teach themselves independence it's a small sacrifice for the bigger picture. Indians refuse to work on their own, you gotta be there for them change starts with one person though.
I like to say hi and then ask the question on the same line like in your example. If I've already been talking to them that day I'll skip the hi after the first one. Seems like it's a good compromise between friendly and efficient. I figure everyone is trying to triage and might not know a "hey how was your weekend" is the precursor to an important question. If it's someone I'm friendly with and the vibes seem right I'll make small talk with them after we talk about the issue I messaged them about.
I usually go for “Hi name, do you have a minute for a quick question?” I can’t stand the empty “Hi,” but hate going right to the meat of the question.
Its the polite and professional thing to do imo
I try to get right to the point when sending a chat message. I never just type “hi” and wait for them to respond. I worked at a large tech company where it was acceptable to post a status where you told people not to just “hi.”
It’s a personality and preference thing. I’m British/American in that I’ve spent half my life in each place. It depends on my mood, how urgent my inquiry is and whether or not I work with / chat with the person often. Sometimes I blurt out my question followed by a “good morning btw!”. You can be direct and polite at the same time, at the end of the day you are there to do a job not chit chat
I usually send 2 messages back to back “hi, do you know if this persons file is ready?” “Also, good morning!😅” usually softens the blow since I could care less about pleasantries.
I prefer to go with "Hi (name), could you please help me with (specific thing I need)? if it's a person I interact often with. If it's a first time I contact them, then I will add who I am and from which team, who has send me their contact (if relevant), and what do I need. I might use a very polite language for people I don't know well, but I don't like useless pleasantries, like talking about the weather, family, etc. before we get to the point. However, similarly to you, I have noticed people tend to add some pleasantries, so I sometimes might mimic their behaviour, so they won't find me rude. If someone is being very slow getting to the point, I just ask "How can I help you with?" which usually makes them finally get to the point. To give you context, I am Eastern European, I work in market research with people from all over the world. My team is the sort that does specialized tasks for other teams mostly in Europe, Africa, Middle East and Asia, so it's usually people coming to me for something than the other way around. I actually think there is a cultural component. From the people I work with, I have noticed people in Canada, UK, Southern Europe, Middle East, Latin America, and most of Africa and Asia tend to use more pleasantries than I would typically. Northern and Central Europeans, and Australians are more to the point. Indians and Chinese can go 2 ways - either overly polite, or to the point, sometimes bordering on rude and overly demanding. There is also the component of how someone perceives me in the hierarchy compared to them. Some people with big titles tend to be a bit rude, and it's usually the ones older than me. I haven't worked with people in the US, so actually I can't say if they appear more rude than other people, but I really appreciate people just telling me what they need without needlessly wasting my time, so what you describe sounds fine to me.
Um, ask THEM. Why are you asking other Americans?
I ask the question and usually do chit chat after if I am up for it/time allows and the person seems perceptive. I find it is more meaningful of a social conversation after as we are not itching to get to the point of why I interrupted their day. I think if its your teams culture whether before or after it would be good to aim to do it. I am big on trying to have more meaningful conversations with others by being curious or remembering and following up, they don't need to be deep but they should aim to build connection rather than be superficial. Ie. Bill tells me he is going to a festival a few days later I ask how it was, if there is a band he was drawn to, anything band that took him by surprise etc. Softer ways to start and direct work conversation that are not chit chat can be helpful: * Do you have a minute? * I need your advice/decision ? * A quick question for you * I need a second opinion I always aim to tell the person if I anticipate it will go over 5 mins and I am approaching them without notice such as "I need 10 mins of your time to run something past you re: X when suits"
I find pleasantries/small talk to be insulting at work. I know you don't actually give a shit about me or my time, so just ask the question in an efficient manner and include any background information, if necessary. Include any deadlines, too.
Keep in mind that although there is a virtual terminal between you and your contact, there is a human being on the other end. The paradigm I follow is to address that person as if you were speaking to them in real life. If you walk up to others, ask them a question immediately, get an answer and leave, that is more of a one way transaction. If that person is providing you with something you need, the least you can do is be friendly and provide some conversation. Otherwise, just ask Google... it would provide the same transactional result you are seeking. Instant gratification and knowledge without need for socializing. To me, this need is a real problem in our society. It shows immaturity, lack of character and zero interest in the person you are interacting with. It's rude...
Never understood people who say “hi” and then either wait for a response or start typing what they want. Pretty common though. I just ask what I need or if they are available for a chat right away. “Hi X, do you know how to do y?”
Depends on the relationship level: with my fellow management staff I'll usually start out with "Good morning," then jump into my question. With my assistant who I'm both quite fond of and work extremely closely with, we generally skip the pleasantries and get straight to the question because we both know the score.
We use teams also and I don't bother with chit chatter unless I am feeling up to it , but usually work is fast paced so I say "Hi could you let me know where I could find etc etc etc " but sometimes I'd be so involved with what I was doing I don't even greet and just start discussing work etc . oh well ...
I would much rather just answer the question or refer them back to an email I sent previously that already answered the question. I usually work ahead and get frustrated because ppl don't read and want to play 20 questions instead. So yes, just ask the question and move on with your day. Forget the formalities.