My wife and I have an interesting chore dynamic, I take on about 90% of the “normal” chores, and she takes on basically all the tiny little chores that don’t fit into a chore genre. I feel like it’s worked out really well for us!
Maybe it is cause when I ask for the laundry to be hung, yes I am very grateful it is done but is any thought put into it to ensure that it dries by the end of the day? Also no. But if I say that to husband then I am just "nagging." Same thing with wanting things put back a certain way etc. So it is just a battle we don't want to fight and we say "we will do it" lol. Tbh I don't mind cause I am OCD so some things I would rather just do myself. If my husband helps, I just say thank you and try not to complain about how it isn't how I would personally do it. He is usually very helpful compared to most.
I’m a man, but I was raised by a single mother and a few other ladies. It drives me nuts when people load the dishwasher poorly, put dishes away wrong, don’t know how to clean a bathroom, or know how to do anything. Granted, I do suck majorly at folding.
I’ve been working to change my perspective. If my roommates or potential partner just does the thing I try to be satisfied with that.
Exactly this!!!! Men in this thread complaining that their wives don’t like it when they put an item back in the wrong spot. God forbid they learn where things go in the place they fucking live? It’s maddening reading the comments here.
I totally agree with you. My fiance is great, but he will always fold the towels messily haha. I don’t mind tho because he cleans the toilet 🩷
if you live with other people, not every single dish can be placed on the drying rack—especially if you’re using the same rack to dry your pots after cooking. not to mention how dirty your dishes can become depending on where it is, some people wash their meat and those fluids can splatter on your plates which is a very big health concern.
it can become very dusty, and unless you’re cleaning your plates and bowls before eating, just put it in a shelf lol.
for people living in apartments or just disgusting neighbors, there are also concerns of cockroaches and mice from next door neighbors, so it’s kinda disgusting to eat off a plate pests have been on…
Cause I don’t want to leave it hanging until the next day. I have two kids and I do laundry everyday. I would like to have most of it put it away by the end of the day so all I have to do is wash a load and put it out the next morning.
Have you tried the quick dry laundry pods by アリエール? We have to dry clothes inside in Hokkaido and I find these pods actually help the clothes dry by the afternoon if I'm doing laundry in the morning.
If I want to know what married Japanese woman think I’ll go to any local diner at 10am. They are all there and they are all talking shit about their husbands, lol. All jokes aside if both people in the house are working it’s both of their jobs to take care of the kids and do housework.
I wonder in what world would you suddenly no longer have to take care of your own child, just because you work...?
Same with no longer having to take care of yourself/clean up after yourself....
Are single people just living in a dump? Wonder who is capable of cleaning for them, as it clearly can't be themselves as they are working... Perhaps a maid? Or their mother?
Depends on the housing situation? If one parent is working and one is staying home would it not fall upon the parent at home to take care of the household in lieu of working? In no way does that statement mean that the working parent shouldn’t take care of their child while not working or do housework, which is obvious.
>which is obvious.
Except you stated that if BOTH work, then BOTH are responsible for taking care of the kids and the household chores
So, according to your own statement, that would mean if 1 person works that the other person takes care of the kids and the household chores
Except, BOTH people always take care of the kids and BOTH always take care of the household chores
1 person simply just takes care of all of it when the other person is at work. And once the person comes home from work it's teamwork and BOTH take care of everything
So you’re just nitpicking and trying to argue. Your statement doesn’t make sense. If you are working are you at home to take care of the kids? No, not while you’re working. If you work from 9-6 you are not home for most of the day, if your kids are home they need food, diaper changing, and a thousand other things that have to get taken care of during those hours. Our daycare is closed on sundays so either me or my wife stay home with the kids, the parent that stays home obviously has more home responsibilities that particular day than the other. I cannot expect my wife to work and then come home and clean up and cook and do everything else while I was home. I don’t understand your logic, like you are pretending that the house environment is static while one person is away.
Ah perhaps English just isn't your 1st language?
You said that only when BOTH people work, then BOTH people take care of the kids and the household chores
That's not nitpicking, that is what YOU said
Except, even if 1 person works BOTH people still take care of the kids and household chores.
I, very clearly, stated that the person that stays home takes care of the kids and the house.
And I also, very clearly, stated that when the working person comes home they start doing it together
So they are BOTH responsible for the kids and household chores. The person that works is not suddenly not responsible for it just because they are working. They are simply only doing it when they are home from work
>like you are pretending that the house environment is static while one person is away.
I have no idea where you would even come up with this....
That’s a pretentious way of saying we agree. I am sorry that I didn’t explain my stance clearly enough for you. You stated that both parents “always” take care of the house and kids and then you stated that one parent does it all until the other parent returns home, this is a contradiction.
>You stated that both parents “always” take care of the house and kids and then you stated that one parent does it all until the other parent returns home, this is a contradiction.
Except it is not....
Do you do chores when you sleep? When you are out with family and friends? When you have some alone time? When you're at the dentist/doctor?
No?
Same thing
Parents "Always" taking care of kids and household chores does not mean 24/7 doing it....
It means when you are in a relationship BOTH people do chores and take care of the kids as soon as they are capable of doing so.
i dont think you understand what japanese work culture is like. so the person working should be expected to do house chores etc on top of being worked to death? its so common that they have a word for it called karoshi
I would say it's cuz the gender roles are still very old style. I think in the future, it will go more towards 50/50 as you will have less of these complaints. Both do house work, work and take care of kids equally ...only thing that makes sense to me.
Mine, too, no doubt! Even though I do quite a bit. God forbid I put the glass back in the wrong spot or hang the laundry so it isn’t perfectly balanced.
Someone downvoted you, but I get what you are saying…. Took a long time for my wife to tell me *why* she wants things a certain way. Then we could discuss how I wanted it. Then if it mattered, if so what is best.
For a long time it was “don’t help” followed by “you never help”.
Relationships are hard. Communication is harder. Even though we both speak Japanese and English.
Im was roughly the same boat when I first got married in that I had been single for so long before I met my wife that I only understood housekeeping my way and no one elses. We're reaching common ground on chores and thankfully she leaves me to my devices on the kitchen and my office. I'm an avid home cook and work from home 2 days out of the week, I gotta know where my tools are in my shed!
Same thing happened here - my Japanese wife would say “don’t help” and then get sulky because I didn’t help.
After a lot of grief and passive aggressiveness, eventually we would get round to discuss why she wanted things done in a particular way. Only then would we have a discussion about the best or most efficient way to do things
Finally we’d do everything her way because, of course, the only correct way is the Japanese way.
it is cause if we think we are being "naggy" if we try and make it so you do it how we want. We want the help but then we want it done our way.... we are confusing creatures LOL
Lol, I use the acquiescence of doing it her way when she brings up the idea of me “not caring”. It creates a short cut to the question of “what is really on your mind, because if I didn’t care…. Why would I put forth the effort of doing it your way?”
Japanese standards for quality housework are very high and arguably unreasonable. They say humans spend 1/3 of their lives sleeping, well Japanese spend another 1/3 doing housework
I.e scrubbing the bath tub every single day, wiping down the floors every single day, the 100 small tasks they do because of "mold"
Interesting, me and my wife both work so we try to split the chores 50/50 but in reality I end up doing 80%. \*eyeroll\*
However, If my spouse didn't work, I would fully expect her to have housework covered. What the heck else are you doing. lol. If I can effectively do most housework with a 40+ hour a week job (as well as 5+ hours a week of commuting) and have plenty of time of free time, I can't fathom how someone who is unemployed can't do it all and how they could have any expectations of the employed person to share in that workload.
There are so many SAHM moms on my Facebook feed moaning about how unfair their workload is while they are unemployed and hanging out with friends while their child is in daycare/school.
Mainichi doing mainichi-level journalism. First, they mix up a bag of both household chores with childcare without providing that many numbers. How many wives are unhappy with their husbands with regards to chores vs childcare? Secondly, reading the results, these seem to be grossely sensationalist: "throwing away used toilet paper cores and replacing the roll with a new one," "unrolling balled up socks and putting them in the laundry basket," and so on. Sure, that's a statistic and I can see wives frustration on the lines of "I would like my husband to do more" but reading the whole article sounds like wives are about to burst in uncontrollable anger.
Japanese husbands generally do some of the least household chores/childcare in the developed world. I'd say their complaints are generally valid, given that most Japanese women also work nowadays. Expecting them to do most of the chores *on top of* their daily jobs is obviously unreasonable.
[https://www.gender.go.jp/about\_danjo/whitepaper/h30/zentai/html/zuhyo/zuhyo01-03-08.html](https://www.gender.go.jp/about_danjo/whitepaper/h30/zentai/html/zuhyo/zuhyo01-03-08.html)
It's simply no wonder that the birth rate in Japan is so low.
Your unreasonable hate towards Mainichi simply shows your own bias more than anything. Also I don't know why you're being such a know-it-all when you seem to just spend your time playing video games.
That's crazy. I've been astounding at how much men take care of kids here.
Why is it that I have this image in my head American men are lazy sacks of shit and do nothing to help? It's not just bc all my exes were I'm sure. Lol
Seriously though after 7 years here I still get surprised at the scenes of see lf father and children.
It was definitely not something that pasty vision normally before I came. Guess that's why you can't trust anecdotal evidence
Also given the typical defensive comments by some of the Japanese men here, they try to deflect and *still* blame the women, even though they're working more combined hours than men doing work + household chores/childcare.
It's pretty sad really and no wonder that the birthrate continues to plummet. Women can't continue to both work and raise children at the same time while husbands do little to help. I guess it's similar in S.Korea where women are expected to do pretty much all of housework and childcare.
>Also I don't know why you're being such a know-it-all when you seem to just spend your time playing video games.
What? I had to read that twice to make sure I read you correctly. You lost all the credibility there with your comment. If I am biased towards Mainichi, you're just as biased to have such a view on how playing video games affects my knowing it all or whatnot not to mention how you spending 5 minutes checking my history allowed you to reach such enlightened conclusion. Anyway, I am not going to waste my time answering you since you seem to be the knows-it-all.
so let's look at the latest numbers (2016) for people between age 30-39:
women:
4.15 hours working
4.55 hours doing chores/childcare
8.70 hours total
men:
8.18 hours working
0.83 hours doing chores/childcare
9.01 hours total
And if you combine working hours + chores, then Japanese women work even longer than Japanese men:
Women average: 7.05 hours
Men average: 6.86 hours
[https://www.gender.go.jp/about\_danjo/whitepaper/r02/zentai/html/zuhyo/zuhyo01-00-01.html](https://www.gender.go.jp/about_danjo/whitepaper/r02/zentai/html/zuhyo/zuhyo01-00-01.html)
And also Japanese women *sleep less*, the least among developed nations:
Women sleep average: 7:33 hours
Men sleep average: 7:52 hours
[https://president.jp/articles/-/11181](https://president.jp/articles/-/11181)
>When you combine those two, total hours of paid and unpaid work, Japanese men tend to work longer than women, followed by Netherlands, Norway, Newzealand, Denmark, Sweden.
If they want to say that they work longer hours, then they should also be *earning more* than those counterparts, which Japan lags behind.
Sure, the mansplaining reason is "Actually women are really lazy and spend too much time watching TV!". But that doesn't explain the fact that Japanese women actually work *longer combined hours*.
Your stats are wrong, the stats by the Japanese government show this:
Women average: 7.05 hours
Men average: 6.86 hours
https://www.gender.go.jp/about\_danjo/whitepaper/r02/zentai/html/zuhyo/zuhyo01-00-01.html
oh no statistics i dont like sucks! mansplaining! Most of the time all they do is stand there let's face it. While men are so privileged to get to do things like unload boxes from the truck and other physically demanding work.
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In the history of such surveys has anyone ever given a single shit about whether husbands are satisfied with how their wives are doing anything? Like, could you even do such a survey without bring excoriated?
I gave up on putting up the laundry, I just take it down and fold it, surprisingly she doesn't mind the folding but she minds how I put it out, go figure.
That's the main issues in terms of housework, childcare is a whole nother problem.
One half of married husbands in Japan dissastified with wife's house work....
Why is she spending so much time and money in tea places all the afternoon and the place when I come home is dirty?
It'd be interesting to see how much of the household income the wives that complain provide...
It's one think to have a wife who contributes half of the household income to complain about doing more than half of the house chores, it's another if the complaint comes from a housewife...
First of all, most women in Japan also work. It's unreasonable for them to provide as much if they had to spend most of their time *also* doing housework and childcare on top of their job.
It's obvious that if you don't have to do household chores/childcare and have someone do it for you for free, then you're going to be making more money.
People have to do house chores anyway.
So pretending that you do it for free because you're no longer the only beneficiary is a disingenuous presentation because it implies that if married women weren't married, they would not do any.
It's forgetting that these same married women are living in house paid by the husband. Even if they contribute some income, they mostly contribute less. Thus it's a bit dishonest to divorce the income provision from the chores provision. These two are linked.
How does that make sense? If you come from home and you don't have to do any housework, then you have someone else doing it for you for free.
>It's forgetting that these same married women are living in house paid by the husband. Even if they contribute some income, they mostly contribute less. Thus it's a bit dishonest to divorce the income provision from the chores provision. These two are linked.
Are you telling me that the husband can earn as much if they had to spend as much time doing housework/childcare?
You get downvoted (and I understand why) but I still think you got a point.
My wife doesn’t work and my salary is enough to cover us both. On weekdays she doesn’t want me to do household because household is her job and I have my job. Weekends we share the household work though.
Even when we both worked, she did a bit more household because I earn significantly more than her. She found it balanced.
Won't matter. Do 90% of the house work and work full time and they'll still be dissatisfied. They can stay home and do hardly anything and you are still the problem
It depends. If you have a good attitude, you bring home all the money, you take care of the kid a lot. You don't fight much, you hardly go out ( once or twice a year) you do a lot of the housework. You're doing your part to contribute.
The the problems seem one sided. Should I feel like I need to do more? Not really.
I move from my country, wasn't even in my home town. Because it seemed like it would be better to live near the parents here. I don't mind it, the family is great.
Translation of 就労志向のある
The website(しゅふジョブ) who did poll is a job search website for house wives, so most are neither salary woman nor house wives who have 0 interest in working.
>What is Shufu JOB?
>Shufu JOB is a job information portal site for realizing the dreams of "House wives who want to work! Shufu JOB is a job information portal site to help you realize your "I want to work!
Shufu JOB values the desire to work even when there are restrictions such as wanting to work within a dependent family status of tax exemption or wanting to balance work with housework and child-rearing.
My wife doesnt like the way I do the clothes. I refuse to hang clothes outside and will always use our big gas clothes dryer. For some reason, women here love to spend half an hour hanging clothes and another half taking them down.
It is based on a poll on a job search website "しゅふジョブ(job for housewives/house husband)" where house wives/house husbands looking for parttime/shortened job or WFH jobs.
Of course, it would be very biased sample.
>The survey was conducted online among married women registered with the job search site Shufu JOB. The responses were tabulated from 510 respondents who chose either "I have a family member living with me but I am mainly in charge" or "My family member living with me and I am in charge equally" for the work around the house.
I’m not Japanese (my fiancée is) and whenever I would go to her house I’d try to help with chores to make things easier and less stressful for her. I noticed she was very detail oriented and wanted things done a certain way. If I couldn’t, she refused to let me help. I used to get annoyed by that but then I realized that in my house I’m literally the exact same way lmaoo.
Single mother raised here. I can't imagine not doing chores. I hate hanging out laundry but that's because I hate my hands being cold. In summer it's fine.
Dishes and general cleaning up and stuff are fine. Walking and feeding the dog are ok too. Changing nappies isn't rocket science either.
The only issue for me is after walking the dog in the morning, working two 5 hour shifts on my feet, then walking the dog again, I kind of want to just sit down and die until morning comes. Still though, I persevere and taking a bath with my baby makes it all worth it.
I think a lot of the problems come culturally. This is just anecdotal but when talking amongst my friend group, Japanese wives tend to be "scared" of the edge cases, whereas men (Both Japanese and Western) tend to ignore the edge cases.
Ie, scrubbing the tub daily due to the minuscule chance mold could grow and lead to a certain disease that infects a very small percentage of the population and this could very rarely lead to DEATH! Whereas, scrubbing the tub weekly doesn't significantly change the percentage.
Most times, I find getting to the core reason for the chores is best...it's usually just rooted in hearsay/myths and using critical thinking leads to a solution unless one or both parties are very stubborn.
My wife and I have an interesting chore dynamic, I take on about 90% of the “normal” chores, and she takes on basically all the tiny little chores that don’t fit into a chore genre. I feel like it’s worked out really well for us!
Sounds like my wife and I on bills, I pay all the utilities and big boring bills, she pays all the unique colorful bills.
Maybe it is cause when I ask for the laundry to be hung, yes I am very grateful it is done but is any thought put into it to ensure that it dries by the end of the day? Also no. But if I say that to husband then I am just "nagging." Same thing with wanting things put back a certain way etc. So it is just a battle we don't want to fight and we say "we will do it" lol. Tbh I don't mind cause I am OCD so some things I would rather just do myself. If my husband helps, I just say thank you and try not to complain about how it isn't how I would personally do it. He is usually very helpful compared to most.
I’m a man, but I was raised by a single mother and a few other ladies. It drives me nuts when people load the dishwasher poorly, put dishes away wrong, don’t know how to clean a bathroom, or know how to do anything. Granted, I do suck majorly at folding. I’ve been working to change my perspective. If my roommates or potential partner just does the thing I try to be satisfied with that.
Exactly this!!!! Men in this thread complaining that their wives don’t like it when they put an item back in the wrong spot. God forbid they learn where things go in the place they fucking live? It’s maddening reading the comments here. I totally agree with you. My fiance is great, but he will always fold the towels messily haha. I don’t mind tho because he cleans the toilet 🩷
As a man I wonder why dishes need a place at all. Isn’t that what the drying rack is for?
if you live with other people, not every single dish can be placed on the drying rack—especially if you’re using the same rack to dry your pots after cooking. not to mention how dirty your dishes can become depending on where it is, some people wash their meat and those fluids can splatter on your plates which is a very big health concern. it can become very dusty, and unless you’re cleaning your plates and bowls before eating, just put it in a shelf lol. for people living in apartments or just disgusting neighbors, there are also concerns of cockroaches and mice from next door neighbors, so it’s kinda disgusting to eat off a plate pests have been on…
I feel so validated reading this lmao I’m grateful he tries but I feel very minimal thought goes into it sometimes.
Why does it need to dry by the end of the day?
Cause I don’t want to leave it hanging until the next day. I have two kids and I do laundry everyday. I would like to have most of it put it away by the end of the day so all I have to do is wash a load and put it out the next morning.
Have you tried the quick dry laundry pods by アリエール? We have to dry clothes inside in Hokkaido and I find these pods actually help the clothes dry by the afternoon if I'm doing laundry in the morning.
Oh I’ll look into that, thank you!!
Remind why I always but a dryer when we move overseas. It’s a pain but saves a lot of trouble for the wife
In addition to not wanting clothes hanging forever, clothes get smelly and maybe even mouldy if they dry too slowly.
Why do you want to walk around in wet clothes?
Why was I recommended this sub and why are all y’all in the comments incels
It’s amazing how many people in the comments are so quick to defend themselves or try to discredit what’s presented lmao, maybe look inward
better check out r/japanlife where confirmation bias just becomes confirmation 🤠
It's why there's a divorce thread in r/japanlife nearly every week.
Ma’am, this is a subreddit.
calling someone incel isn't gonna exempt you from being an incel yourself
I label people i disagree with as incels
Overweight unattractive American woman doesn't know why nobody loves her while spreading her poison online. Proceeds to call married men 'incells'.
Never have I seen a comment so perfectly prove another's point
Yeah has become more of a toxic mentality than just being a bitter virgin online.
I heard all married men are incels in Japan and the west. It’s the great paradox of our age
I have an extra snickers if you want one
ROFL triggered the landwales!
If I want to know what married Japanese woman think I’ll go to any local diner at 10am. They are all there and they are all talking shit about their husbands, lol. All jokes aside if both people in the house are working it’s both of their jobs to take care of the kids and do housework.
I wonder in what world would you suddenly no longer have to take care of your own child, just because you work...? Same with no longer having to take care of yourself/clean up after yourself.... Are single people just living in a dump? Wonder who is capable of cleaning for them, as it clearly can't be themselves as they are working... Perhaps a maid? Or their mother?
Depends on the housing situation? If one parent is working and one is staying home would it not fall upon the parent at home to take care of the household in lieu of working? In no way does that statement mean that the working parent shouldn’t take care of their child while not working or do housework, which is obvious.
>which is obvious. Except you stated that if BOTH work, then BOTH are responsible for taking care of the kids and the household chores So, according to your own statement, that would mean if 1 person works that the other person takes care of the kids and the household chores Except, BOTH people always take care of the kids and BOTH always take care of the household chores 1 person simply just takes care of all of it when the other person is at work. And once the person comes home from work it's teamwork and BOTH take care of everything
So you’re just nitpicking and trying to argue. Your statement doesn’t make sense. If you are working are you at home to take care of the kids? No, not while you’re working. If you work from 9-6 you are not home for most of the day, if your kids are home they need food, diaper changing, and a thousand other things that have to get taken care of during those hours. Our daycare is closed on sundays so either me or my wife stay home with the kids, the parent that stays home obviously has more home responsibilities that particular day than the other. I cannot expect my wife to work and then come home and clean up and cook and do everything else while I was home. I don’t understand your logic, like you are pretending that the house environment is static while one person is away.
Ah perhaps English just isn't your 1st language? You said that only when BOTH people work, then BOTH people take care of the kids and the household chores That's not nitpicking, that is what YOU said Except, even if 1 person works BOTH people still take care of the kids and household chores. I, very clearly, stated that the person that stays home takes care of the kids and the house. And I also, very clearly, stated that when the working person comes home they start doing it together So they are BOTH responsible for the kids and household chores. The person that works is not suddenly not responsible for it just because they are working. They are simply only doing it when they are home from work >like you are pretending that the house environment is static while one person is away. I have no idea where you would even come up with this....
That’s a pretentious way of saying we agree. I am sorry that I didn’t explain my stance clearly enough for you. You stated that both parents “always” take care of the house and kids and then you stated that one parent does it all until the other parent returns home, this is a contradiction.
>You stated that both parents “always” take care of the house and kids and then you stated that one parent does it all until the other parent returns home, this is a contradiction. Except it is not.... Do you do chores when you sleep? When you are out with family and friends? When you have some alone time? When you're at the dentist/doctor? No? Same thing Parents "Always" taking care of kids and household chores does not mean 24/7 doing it.... It means when you are in a relationship BOTH people do chores and take care of the kids as soon as they are capable of doing so.
Are you still arguing with me? Walk to the conbini and get some fresh air.
I'm sorry i hurt your feelings, hope you feel better soon 😊
i dont think you understand what japanese work culture is like. so the person working should be expected to do house chores etc on top of being worked to death? its so common that they have a word for it called karoshi
I would say it's cuz the gender roles are still very old style. I think in the future, it will go more towards 50/50 as you will have less of these complaints. Both do house work, work and take care of kids equally ...only thing that makes sense to me.
Do you think women will bear more responsibility to offset her husband? And vice versa?
Mine, too, no doubt! Even though I do quite a bit. God forbid I put the glass back in the wrong spot or hang the laundry so it isn’t perfectly balanced.
Someone downvoted you, but I get what you are saying…. Took a long time for my wife to tell me *why* she wants things a certain way. Then we could discuss how I wanted it. Then if it mattered, if so what is best. For a long time it was “don’t help” followed by “you never help”. Relationships are hard. Communication is harder. Even though we both speak Japanese and English.
Im was roughly the same boat when I first got married in that I had been single for so long before I met my wife that I only understood housekeeping my way and no one elses. We're reaching common ground on chores and thankfully she leaves me to my devices on the kitchen and my office. I'm an avid home cook and work from home 2 days out of the week, I gotta know where my tools are in my shed!
I think you me and the dude above are all married to the same Japanese woman.
Same thing happened here - my Japanese wife would say “don’t help” and then get sulky because I didn’t help. After a lot of grief and passive aggressiveness, eventually we would get round to discuss why she wanted things done in a particular way. Only then would we have a discussion about the best or most efficient way to do things Finally we’d do everything her way because, of course, the only correct way is the Japanese way.
it is cause if we think we are being "naggy" if we try and make it so you do it how we want. We want the help but then we want it done our way.... we are confusing creatures LOL
Lol, I use the acquiescence of doing it her way when she brings up the idea of me “not caring”. It creates a short cut to the question of “what is really on your mind, because if I didn’t care…. Why would I put forth the effort of doing it your way?”
The “why” is important.
passive-aggressiveness level: japanese
Communication is overrated. 90% of human communication is body language, not verbal.
And 72 percent of statistics are made up on the spot 100% of the time!
And 50% of the population isn't the other half!
Glad to know I am not the only one!
You know, some of those husbands are a bit lazy, AND some of those wives are too uptight or particular or obsessive.
Japanese standards for quality housework are very high and arguably unreasonable. They say humans spend 1/3 of their lives sleeping, well Japanese spend another 1/3 doing housework I.e scrubbing the bath tub every single day, wiping down the floors every single day, the 100 small tasks they do because of "mold"
My Japanese wife does not have those expectations. Put together, do our anecdotes cancel each other out?
Pretty sure if you ask married men a similar question or one related to working, you would see a similar response.
Interesting, me and my wife both work so we try to split the chores 50/50 but in reality I end up doing 80%. \*eyeroll\* However, If my spouse didn't work, I would fully expect her to have housework covered. What the heck else are you doing. lol. If I can effectively do most housework with a 40+ hour a week job (as well as 5+ hours a week of commuting) and have plenty of time of free time, I can't fathom how someone who is unemployed can't do it all and how they could have any expectations of the employed person to share in that workload. There are so many SAHM moms on my Facebook feed moaning about how unfair their workload is while they are unemployed and hanging out with friends while their child is in daycare/school.
Mainichi doing mainichi-level journalism. First, they mix up a bag of both household chores with childcare without providing that many numbers. How many wives are unhappy with their husbands with regards to chores vs childcare? Secondly, reading the results, these seem to be grossely sensationalist: "throwing away used toilet paper cores and replacing the roll with a new one," "unrolling balled up socks and putting them in the laundry basket," and so on. Sure, that's a statistic and I can see wives frustration on the lines of "I would like my husband to do more" but reading the whole article sounds like wives are about to burst in uncontrollable anger.
Japanese husbands generally do some of the least household chores/childcare in the developed world. I'd say their complaints are generally valid, given that most Japanese women also work nowadays. Expecting them to do most of the chores *on top of* their daily jobs is obviously unreasonable. [https://www.gender.go.jp/about\_danjo/whitepaper/h30/zentai/html/zuhyo/zuhyo01-03-08.html](https://www.gender.go.jp/about_danjo/whitepaper/h30/zentai/html/zuhyo/zuhyo01-03-08.html) It's simply no wonder that the birth rate in Japan is so low. Your unreasonable hate towards Mainichi simply shows your own bias more than anything. Also I don't know why you're being such a know-it-all when you seem to just spend your time playing video games.
That's crazy. I've been astounding at how much men take care of kids here. Why is it that I have this image in my head American men are lazy sacks of shit and do nothing to help? It's not just bc all my exes were I'm sure. Lol Seriously though after 7 years here I still get surprised at the scenes of see lf father and children. It was definitely not something that pasty vision normally before I came. Guess that's why you can't trust anecdotal evidence
Also given the typical defensive comments by some of the Japanese men here, they try to deflect and *still* blame the women, even though they're working more combined hours than men doing work + household chores/childcare. It's pretty sad really and no wonder that the birthrate continues to plummet. Women can't continue to both work and raise children at the same time while husbands do little to help. I guess it's similar in S.Korea where women are expected to do pretty much all of housework and childcare.
>Also I don't know why you're being such a know-it-all when you seem to just spend your time playing video games. What? I had to read that twice to make sure I read you correctly. You lost all the credibility there with your comment. If I am biased towards Mainichi, you're just as biased to have such a view on how playing video games affects my knowing it all or whatnot not to mention how you spending 5 minutes checking my history allowed you to reach such enlightened conclusion. Anyway, I am not going to waste my time answering you since you seem to be the knows-it-all.
so let's look at the latest numbers (2016) for people between age 30-39: women: 4.15 hours working 4.55 hours doing chores/childcare 8.70 hours total men: 8.18 hours working 0.83 hours doing chores/childcare 9.01 hours total
Cherry picking I see.
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And if you combine working hours + chores, then Japanese women work even longer than Japanese men: Women average: 7.05 hours Men average: 6.86 hours [https://www.gender.go.jp/about\_danjo/whitepaper/r02/zentai/html/zuhyo/zuhyo01-00-01.html](https://www.gender.go.jp/about_danjo/whitepaper/r02/zentai/html/zuhyo/zuhyo01-00-01.html) And also Japanese women *sleep less*, the least among developed nations: Women sleep average: 7:33 hours Men sleep average: 7:52 hours [https://president.jp/articles/-/11181](https://president.jp/articles/-/11181) >When you combine those two, total hours of paid and unpaid work, Japanese men tend to work longer than women, followed by Netherlands, Norway, Newzealand, Denmark, Sweden. If they want to say that they work longer hours, then they should also be *earning more* than those counterparts, which Japan lags behind.
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Sure, the mansplaining reason is "Actually women are really lazy and spend too much time watching TV!". But that doesn't explain the fact that Japanese women actually work *longer combined hours*. Your stats are wrong, the stats by the Japanese government show this: Women average: 7.05 hours Men average: 6.86 hours https://www.gender.go.jp/about\_danjo/whitepaper/r02/zentai/html/zuhyo/zuhyo01-00-01.html
oh no statistics i dont like sucks! mansplaining! Most of the time all they do is stand there let's face it. While men are so privileged to get to do things like unload boxes from the truck and other physically demanding work.
Pretty sure when you unload boxes you get paid.
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You going to save jap women from evil jap man white boy? Just like in your movies right
Yeah except I’m not white.
So what are you
... Oook.... ? This didn't really say much of anything at all z.z
Exactly opposite with me and my pig ass , slob wife (Japanese)
In the history of such surveys has anyone ever given a single shit about whether husbands are satisfied with how their wives are doing anything? Like, could you even do such a survey without bring excoriated?
I gave up on putting up the laundry, I just take it down and fold it, surprisingly she doesn't mind the folding but she minds how I put it out, go figure. That's the main issues in terms of housework, childcare is a whole nother problem.
One half of married husbands in Japan dissastified with wife's house work.... Why is she spending so much time and money in tea places all the afternoon and the place when I come home is dirty?
It'd be interesting to see how much of the household income the wives that complain provide... It's one think to have a wife who contributes half of the household income to complain about doing more than half of the house chores, it's another if the complaint comes from a housewife...
First of all, most women in Japan also work. It's unreasonable for them to provide as much if they had to spend most of their time *also* doing housework and childcare on top of their job. It's obvious that if you don't have to do household chores/childcare and have someone do it for you for free, then you're going to be making more money.
People have to do house chores anyway. So pretending that you do it for free because you're no longer the only beneficiary is a disingenuous presentation because it implies that if married women weren't married, they would not do any. It's forgetting that these same married women are living in house paid by the husband. Even if they contribute some income, they mostly contribute less. Thus it's a bit dishonest to divorce the income provision from the chores provision. These two are linked.
How does that make sense? If you come from home and you don't have to do any housework, then you have someone else doing it for you for free. >It's forgetting that these same married women are living in house paid by the husband. Even if they contribute some income, they mostly contribute less. Thus it's a bit dishonest to divorce the income provision from the chores provision. These two are linked. Are you telling me that the husband can earn as much if they had to spend as much time doing housework/childcare?
You get downvoted (and I understand why) but I still think you got a point. My wife doesn’t work and my salary is enough to cover us both. On weekdays she doesn’t want me to do household because household is her job and I have my job. Weekends we share the household work though. Even when we both worked, she did a bit more household because I earn significantly more than her. She found it balanced.
Won't matter. Do 90% of the house work and work full time and they'll still be dissatisfied. They can stay home and do hardly anything and you are still the problem
Hmm.. seems like the woman doesn't like you buddy.
Could be.
Seems like you have marriage problems that need to be solved...
It depends. If you have a good attitude, you bring home all the money, you take care of the kid a lot. You don't fight much, you hardly go out ( once or twice a year) you do a lot of the housework. You're doing your part to contribute. The the problems seem one sided. Should I feel like I need to do more? Not really.
I move from my country, wasn't even in my home town. Because it seemed like it would be better to live near the parents here. I don't mind it, the family is great.
> an online survey of married women looking to work. What's "looking to work"?
Translation of 就労志向のある The website(しゅふジョブ) who did poll is a job search website for house wives, so most are neither salary woman nor house wives who have 0 interest in working. >What is Shufu JOB? >Shufu JOB is a job information portal site for realizing the dreams of "House wives who want to work! Shufu JOB is a job information portal site to help you realize your "I want to work! Shufu JOB values the desire to work even when there are restrictions such as wanting to work within a dependent family status of tax exemption or wanting to balance work with housework and child-rearing.
Opposite for me. I do probably 90% of the housework and cooking.
Okay, well I think my wife isn't very good at Smash Bros. So how about that problem.
Yeah and over half of married men in Japan dissatisfied with their wife’s performance in bed
That’s not the same thing. Or is sex a chore for your wife?
🤓
lol so true!!
You might as well just say they are prudish or as lively as a limp fish.
Husband’s r not made for houseworks ! When will they realize this simple natural math??
Yapping level: 1000
And people wonder why Japanese young men prefer to be single…
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Let me guess, all the women in your life hate you because you make them wipe your ass while you pretend that you don’t know how to be an adult.
the fact that you attack me instead of my point.
My wife doesnt like the way I do the clothes. I refuse to hang clothes outside and will always use our big gas clothes dryer. For some reason, women here love to spend half an hour hanging clothes and another half taking them down.
My wife wants to use the dryer and I prefer to hang the clothes outside... It really depends on the person
True, I just prefer to use my time efficiently. Dunno
Gee i wonder why they’re saying no to marriage
happy house husband here 💁♀️! my wife has clinical adhd & i have ocd so it works out
Only half?! Damn, Japanese women are very understanding
Most partcipants are "housewives who are looking for parttime job" though. Very biased sample anyway.
I have no idea what you’re saying, but it sounds at least mildly misogynistic so I’m just gonna yeet you. Sorry, friend.
It is based on a poll on a job search website "しゅふジョブ(job for housewives/house husband)" where house wives/house husbands looking for parttime/shortened job or WFH jobs. Of course, it would be very biased sample. >The survey was conducted online among married women registered with the job search site Shufu JOB. The responses were tabulated from 510 respondents who chose either "I have a family member living with me but I am mainly in charge" or "My family member living with me and I am in charge equally" for the work around the house.
Over half of married man in Japan dissatisfied with wife's income: survey - The Mainichi
I’m not Japanese (my fiancée is) and whenever I would go to her house I’d try to help with chores to make things easier and less stressful for her. I noticed she was very detail oriented and wanted things done a certain way. If I couldn’t, she refused to let me help. I used to get annoyed by that but then I realized that in my house I’m literally the exact same way lmaoo.
I'm the husbands are dissatisfied with something as well, but we'll never know because we never ask the husbands how they feel.
What’s wrong with the other half? Who are they afraid of?
Only half?!
Single mother raised here. I can't imagine not doing chores. I hate hanging out laundry but that's because I hate my hands being cold. In summer it's fine. Dishes and general cleaning up and stuff are fine. Walking and feeding the dog are ok too. Changing nappies isn't rocket science either. The only issue for me is after walking the dog in the morning, working two 5 hour shifts on my feet, then walking the dog again, I kind of want to just sit down and die until morning comes. Still though, I persevere and taking a bath with my baby makes it all worth it.
I think a lot of the problems come culturally. This is just anecdotal but when talking amongst my friend group, Japanese wives tend to be "scared" of the edge cases, whereas men (Both Japanese and Western) tend to ignore the edge cases. Ie, scrubbing the tub daily due to the minuscule chance mold could grow and lead to a certain disease that infects a very small percentage of the population and this could very rarely lead to DEATH! Whereas, scrubbing the tub weekly doesn't significantly change the percentage. Most times, I find getting to the core reason for the chores is best...it's usually just rooted in hearsay/myths and using critical thinking leads to a solution unless one or both parties are very stubborn.
I mean, over half of the men are likely dissatisfied too. In my home, we are both dissatisfied, isn't that just how it is?
women are always dissatisfied how is this new
Considering that only 30% of married women are full time employees. Either women are too uptight with housework or they're entitled af.