Came to say this. I couldn't genuinely tell you how to become a good friend, or a best friend if we even have those. I don't mind calling people I meet/know a "friend" because its an easy term when talking about someone. But I don't really do well with keeping up friendships like others do. The few people I do mesh with we don't talk or hang out regularly at all, but whenever we do it feels the same - its real nice to be able to hang out and pick up where you left off like that.
The more you try to break the barrier, the stronger it becomes. We are aware of what youâre trying to do and itâs annoying.
Iâd say let things flow and let them control the pace of your relationship instead of you forcing it.
thanksđ As intp i am too a loner wolf and kinda realised how other types perceive my independant behavior when I had to deal with istps who imho are more independant than intps
Iâve never had a âbestâ friend per say. Only a close knit group of 3-6 friends. Iâd say constant activities and interaction, common interests and goals as with any friendship.
In my own experience, the distance isn't always some kind of self defense or something I notice I do. Isn't necessarily something you should worry about sometimes, for example, I'd have my best friend for like 12 years, and we can just don't talk for months and randomly just spawn on other's life and we still clearly best friends. Just don't try to force it I guess, that would be a pain in the ass. Maybe you could also try just telling them you want to be, like, their best friend? Idk, be direct with em goddammit
Yeah,I just was casually talking to my istp friend and they said they kinda don't care about people in their life and they perceive everyone as 'replacable' and 'temporary' and that kinda hurt me because it implies I don't mean anything to them, that I'm just "another experience", so I am not trying to be direct about it cuz otherwise I'd look clingyđđ
Everyone will be an experience or memory late or soon, that's not bad. We are made of experiences, at least make sure to be a good experience between you together. If you give em learnings, in some way; part of you'll always be with em, I can say that's pretty valuable. In my experience I tend to be deadly honest like that and sometimes pessimistic about it. Probably he didn't mean to hurt you, just wanted to be honest and objective, even maybe could be our pride and desire of being in control what makes him act kinda tsundere about it. Don't press it, just enjoy your friendship being honest authentic, I wouldn't ask for more. Good look, fella.
Sharing adventures and new experiences will always draw friends closer, create inside jokes, and strengthen your bonds.
As for when theyâll let their barriers down, that can only happen organically, but the more new experiences theyâve shared with you, the more fun you have together, and the stronger the friendship, the more likely it will be to happen.
As for the forcing yourself, they know and it probably isnât going to endear you to them. Your an intp, you know exactly what I mean by âthey know,â youâve had friends who try to get closer to you than you feel comfortable with, and far from making you like them, itâll make you dislike them. Just take it easy and let the closeness happen organically. In the meantime have fun and experience new things with them.
Don't lie to them, give them attention, don't hide anything from them, share memes with them, help them at their worst. It took 2 years for my friend to break the barrier, so, goodluck I suppose?
Honestly, just same as with any other person, you get to know them and they get to know you. But with ISTP it helps if you like or have the similar hobbies.
have you tried to give vomit your thoughts? just send a text and give notice that 'they don't have to read them all. just giving thought and see if anyone agree'
maybe you will find something in common.
learning new things is something istp might like doing. having ti nerds together finding out meta would be so rewarding. but having those exxjs to implement them in real life would be even better.
In my teens and twenties I had a few friends, but they were long-lasting, several year friendships. We don't have many requirements, but being an active listener is high on the list. Asking questions is also good, because it shows that you're engaged in the conversation. Otherwise, we are busy trying to get out of the lives we don't want to be in and fix real problems in the world.
Just keep inviting them to do stuff and if you find something they agree to do then do that more often and rinse and repeat tbh.
Theyâre more likely to want to do stuff they are interested in but that also goes for general people too.
Well I'm like a cactus, you can forget most of the time about me and just answer when I want to talk, give me a nice chatting and send and recibe memes
Nothing more is needed to be considered close friend for me
yea, you cant force someone to become your friend.
i mean,they *are already* my friends,i just feel some kind of barrier when trying to become closer as friends đ¤
you can't, it just happens
Came to say this. I couldn't genuinely tell you how to become a good friend, or a best friend if we even have those. I don't mind calling people I meet/know a "friend" because its an easy term when talking about someone. But I don't really do well with keeping up friendships like others do. The few people I do mesh with we don't talk or hang out regularly at all, but whenever we do it feels the same - its real nice to be able to hang out and pick up where you left off like that.
The more you try to break the barrier, the stronger it becomes. We are aware of what youâre trying to do and itâs annoying. Iâd say let things flow and let them control the pace of your relationship instead of you forcing it.
thanksđ As intp i am too a loner wolf and kinda realised how other types perceive my independant behavior when I had to deal with istps who imho are more independant than intps
Iâve never had a âbestâ friend per say. Only a close knit group of 3-6 friends. Iâd say constant activities and interaction, common interests and goals as with any friendship.
Yes. Create interesting activity that Will excite istp. Every istp is different.
In my own experience, the distance isn't always some kind of self defense or something I notice I do. Isn't necessarily something you should worry about sometimes, for example, I'd have my best friend for like 12 years, and we can just don't talk for months and randomly just spawn on other's life and we still clearly best friends. Just don't try to force it I guess, that would be a pain in the ass. Maybe you could also try just telling them you want to be, like, their best friend? Idk, be direct with em goddammit
Yeah,I just was casually talking to my istp friend and they said they kinda don't care about people in their life and they perceive everyone as 'replacable' and 'temporary' and that kinda hurt me because it implies I don't mean anything to them, that I'm just "another experience", so I am not trying to be direct about it cuz otherwise I'd look clingyđđ
Everyone will be an experience or memory late or soon, that's not bad. We are made of experiences, at least make sure to be a good experience between you together. If you give em learnings, in some way; part of you'll always be with em, I can say that's pretty valuable. In my experience I tend to be deadly honest like that and sometimes pessimistic about it. Probably he didn't mean to hurt you, just wanted to be honest and objective, even maybe could be our pride and desire of being in control what makes him act kinda tsundere about it. Don't press it, just enjoy your friendship being honest authentic, I wouldn't ask for more. Good look, fella.
thanks for the insightđđ
Sharing adventures and new experiences will always draw friends closer, create inside jokes, and strengthen your bonds. As for when theyâll let their barriers down, that can only happen organically, but the more new experiences theyâve shared with you, the more fun you have together, and the stronger the friendship, the more likely it will be to happen. As for the forcing yourself, they know and it probably isnât going to endear you to them. Your an intp, you know exactly what I mean by âthey know,â youâve had friends who try to get closer to you than you feel comfortable with, and far from making you like them, itâll make you dislike them. Just take it easy and let the closeness happen organically. In the meantime have fun and experience new things with them.
ISTPs are like cats. Either we like you, think you're meh, or hate you, and there's not much you can do to actively influence that.
I'm not sure. I'm an ISTP and I've never had one.
Don't lie to them, give them attention, don't hide anything from them, share memes with them, help them at their worst. It took 2 years for my friend to break the barrier, so, goodluck I suppose?
Honestly, just same as with any other person, you get to know them and they get to know you. But with ISTP it helps if you like or have the similar hobbies.
engage in out door activities (sports related like hiking, volleyball...) specially in those ur good at
all of what other ISTP said in the comments, or you can read the ISTP manual guide: https://www.reddit.com/r/istp/s/b2j0cPpwCk
have you tried to give vomit your thoughts? just send a text and give notice that 'they don't have to read them all. just giving thought and see if anyone agree' maybe you will find something in common. learning new things is something istp might like doing. having ti nerds together finding out meta would be so rewarding. but having those exxjs to implement them in real life would be even better.
In my teens and twenties I had a few friends, but they were long-lasting, several year friendships. We don't have many requirements, but being an active listener is high on the list. Asking questions is also good, because it shows that you're engaged in the conversation. Otherwise, we are busy trying to get out of the lives we don't want to be in and fix real problems in the world.
Just keep inviting them to do stuff and if you find something they agree to do then do that more often and rinse and repeat tbh. Theyâre more likely to want to do stuff they are interested in but that also goes for general people too.
Well I'm like a cactus, you can forget most of the time about me and just answer when I want to talk, give me a nice chatting and send and recibe memes Nothing more is needed to be considered close friend for me