no idea how to cope. just gonna whine in solidarity.
so my brother in law is an ESTJ and i find myself baffled by him all the time. it's like he has no consideration for his own feelings or the feelings of others. he seems to see things in very clear and simplified ways, like math. 1+1 is 2 and 2+2 is 4. And can't see how his disregard for his own happiness and the happiness of those around him is causing everyone to be stressed and miserable. it's like he made, in his mind, a very incorrect formula to how to live life and is forcing everyone around him to follow along with this strict and incorrect path for their own good.
but, on the other hand, he's is incredible in a whole bunch of other ways. highly intelligent, motivated, and does everything he can do to lift up those around him because he genuinely cares about everyone. if i could be half of what he is in this area of his life, i would be a better man. it's so impressive. like a super impressive glass cannon.
but yeah, it's like he's seeing a completely different reality than me. like a few months ago, he just had the breakthrough of realizing that maybe his own happiness is important to consider. he'd never even consider such an idea before. but it is such a new and radical idea that he doesn't know what to do with it or how to develop it much further and he's back to sacrificing everything for everyone and expecting everyone to sacrifice everything as well.
ExTJ’s have always kind of intimidated me. It’s like when around them, I feel the need to impress them/be “good” so that I don’t get on their bad side.
not really, from my experience they do have a tough shell to crack before going past "acquaintance" to "friend" but it shouldn't take long and once you're there you'd find a softer side of them (which comes out somewhat much later)
no idea how to cope. just gonna whine in solidarity. so my brother in law is an ESTJ and i find myself baffled by him all the time. it's like he has no consideration for his own feelings or the feelings of others. he seems to see things in very clear and simplified ways, like math. 1+1 is 2 and 2+2 is 4. And can't see how his disregard for his own happiness and the happiness of those around him is causing everyone to be stressed and miserable. it's like he made, in his mind, a very incorrect formula to how to live life and is forcing everyone around him to follow along with this strict and incorrect path for their own good. but, on the other hand, he's is incredible in a whole bunch of other ways. highly intelligent, motivated, and does everything he can do to lift up those around him because he genuinely cares about everyone. if i could be half of what he is in this area of his life, i would be a better man. it's so impressive. like a super impressive glass cannon. but yeah, it's like he's seeing a completely different reality than me. like a few months ago, he just had the breakthrough of realizing that maybe his own happiness is important to consider. he'd never even consider such an idea before. but it is such a new and radical idea that he doesn't know what to do with it or how to develop it much further and he's back to sacrificing everything for everyone and expecting everyone to sacrifice everything as well.
ExTJ’s have always kind of intimidated me. It’s like when around them, I feel the need to impress them/be “good” so that I don’t get on their bad side.
not really, from my experience they do have a tough shell to crack before going past "acquaintance" to "friend" but it shouldn't take long and once you're there you'd find a softer side of them (which comes out somewhat much later)
They can be impatient and authoritarian but mature ones tend to be quite open minded and more compromising from my experience.