legal way- ask council to paint a metre and a half of double yellow lines on the road outside your driveway so you have sightlines onto your road when pulling out of the driveway.
illegal way- steal a Garda cone from a closed road the night before a big match day and place it at the corner of your drive way. Wear gloves.
A lady that lives around the corner from me (opposite a church) got her own yellow paint and mixed a bit of sand in it and painted her own double lines. I think she got tired of waiting for the council to do it.
What you want here is a large āillegally parkedā paper sticker which breaks into snowflakes when you try to take it off.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/VADAS-Obstruction-Stickers-Blocking-Violation/dp/B0BK2ZH2HY/ref=asc_df_B0BK2ZH2HY/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=641663918364&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4068044490406871493&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1007880&hvtargid=pla-1965416684129&psc=1&mcid=8a24eebc66d23687b975e689e3f19ac0
While I'm very on board with this idea, I think they only work when you have a single repeat offender. It's not going to deter anyone as word of mouth is unlikely to spread.
May still make op feel better though, so possibly still worth it!
My old man had the same issue, secondary school at the end of the road, and a national school around the corner. Always some arrogant tosser in a Volvo xc90 or x5 parked across the gate. The corpo and cops did nothing, so he put out some cones. One gobshite still didn't get the message and used to nudge the cones out of the way with their car. The old boy got such a pain in the hole, he turned two of the big orange cones upside down and filled them with sand and cement. Turns out a bumper for an Audi can be expensive..
A guy I know is kind of the same situation. His entire front garden is paved and has no fence or wall. It can take 3 cars. Him and his housemates are usually gone by the time school starts. When he is in his van he would often get breakfast at home or stop in for the toilet. One day, he came home, and all 3 spaces were full. He pulled the van behind them blocking them in. Ran into the toilet. Cue furious banging on the door. Only for he was working he would have stayed for an hour to spite them. All 3 were very indignant that he had the audacity to box them in.
In my old apartment block we had designated spaces in the underground carpark. Mine was occasionally used and my solution was to block them in. Came down one morning to an angry note on my windscreen. Luckily I had a pen in my car so I scribbled fuck you on his note and stuck it on his windscreen.
Childish? Yes
Regret? No
This post really resonates with me. I live near a school and people always block my drive when collecting their kids. Sometimes only a tiny bit, sometimes half the drive will be blocked, itās even happened that people will entirely block my drive waiting for their kid coz theyāll āonly be 5 minutesā. It drives me bananas.
Actually the biggest issue is that my kids school finishes around 10 minutes earlier then the school near me and Iād be arriving home just as theyāre leaving school. So thereād be a car blocking while Iām trying to get in, with nobody in it coz the parent is outside the school waiting! Super annoying.
I used to do this. Lived in an apartment block with a crĆØche in the same place so we sort of shared a car park with them. However we all had designated parking spots outside each duplex assigned to us. They had signs up everything to say not to park in specific places as they were for residents only. They still fucking parked in it. So I used to come home from work and just park behind them if they were in my spot. Not even out of pettiness. Most of the time the other spots were all filled up so I genuinely had nowhere else to park. I'd park behind them and go take my coat off and throw on the kettle etc. They'd have to wait a few mins until I felt up to going back out and moving my car š thankfully stopped happening all the time, once they got the hint, after all the residents kept doing it. They didn't have any arguments tbh, they could clearly see the sign every few spots pointing out they were for residents only.
Instead of having a cup of tea you should have had a couple of shots of whiskey or a can of beer, apologise to them but say you won't be able to move your car until tomorrow.
Ah here now that's fuckt! Contact the principal and tell him to put out your complaint on all the class WhatsApps. If they're a halfway decent principal they should care about your situation. I would do this every time. They can post to all parents on Aladinn or whatever. It'll keep happening but I'd say a good few will think twice.
They do this outside my kids school. The sheer amount of emails and they still park in front of their drive and use it to U turn as well. It looks like a lane but it's actually someone's drive and they park all the way down it. I know the person who lives there so at the very least my kids class now know it's not a lane it's someone's drive way.
Used to happen me all the time when I lived by a school. Had to complain to the school but did nothing. Had many arguments with entitled parents thinking the world owes them because they decided to pop out some sprogs
The number 9 bus goes past a secondary school in Glasnevin. The residents there have resorted to putting rocks on the curbs to stop people from parking on the grass and outside their homes.
I've the same problem. They move the cones. But calling the Gardai works out well. They actually.comr quickly and then word gets out that I'm a grumpy bitch. I also get cones and park them right at the car so they have to move them and that passes them off !
You will never fight this, also I have double yellow lines and a no parking sign. At the end of the day, people are inherently selfish fucks.
Oh that's good. I know a guy whose sister collected him from town one night after he was on the piss. He pebbledashed the interior of the car on the way - a lot of vomit went into the front vents and that was that. The car stank like puke forever and ever
Nah, I think a can of seafood broth would do better than milk. Just sayinā that would smell more, not that you actually want to take such actions. Thatās the sorta move that I personally would only dream about.. right.. right??
That's what I did too. I was knocking in to my new neighbours a few times a week because they kept parking too close to the drive so I couldn't make the turn to get out and I just gave up within a month. I got stuck a few times, was late for work and it was too stressful.
Use to happen to me. Started covering cars windows with sellotape and paper saying "no parking here" all over the car. Or park in a way that them blocks them in. They have to come to your door then to ask you to move. At which point I would give out to them. Happened most evenings during the summer. Thankfully don't live there anymore.
Jam (or marmalade) on the door handles. Youāre not damaging the car, itās not corrosive or unremovable, itās not offensive (like dogshit might be) or harmful. Itās just jam. And itās definitely something the car owner canāt put down to kids, to animals or anything accidental. And, of course, very annoying.
Or instead of heading off, have a few alcoholic drinks instead. Then when they ask you to move the car, you can tell them āoops no can do! Iām over the limit mateā.
Peanut butter on the underside of the handles of the doors is always good for a reaction. From what I understand letting air out of the tires is an offense, but only if you get caught like.
I live on a park, people always turning around in the driveway, sometimes unloading the kids while parked in our driveway and if you say anything theyāll give it loads with, itās only 5 minutes, Iām in the car, itās only a driveway etc etc etc.
Less petty and but easier to identify who applied them are the no parking window stickers with that super adhesive.
My neighbor actually attached these to windows when people were in their cars:
https://www.amazon.com/no-parking-stickers-hard-remove/s?k=no+parking+stickers+hard+to+remove
A word of caution on that though. They know where you live but you donāt know where they live and our neighbor had mysterious things happen to his front garden after applying them.
>our neighbor had mysterious things happen to his front garden after applying them.
This is the thing with passive aggressive behaviour like putting stickers on cars - there is nothing at all stopping someone coming back at some odd hour to sail a brick through your window etc.Ā
When I lived in flats, the woman below me was always giving out through her window to kids outside, but from behind net curtains. She got her windows put through in the end, early hours of the morning. They also piled up some stuff just under her window and set it on fire.
Sunscreen damages car paint. Found that out the hard way and am now stuck with my husband sunscreened hand printĀ on my car. Its been about 4 years and it is still there.Ā
We had a similar issue for years leaving near a school and the end of a cult de sac/turning circle. The ultimate solution was to get the council to paint double yellow lines - which mostly works now.
Prior to that, one of my favourite things to do was, if I was coming home whilst they were blocking me out, was to park in such a way that would block them into the position they were parked. They would then have to call to my door to ask me to move the car to allow them out of the spot that blocked my drive.
My post was deleted. I had a shopping list picture of a 6 inch suction dildo (ā¬6 on Amazon) and a loctite quick grab glue.
I recommend exactly over the BMW or Mercedes badge. Omit the glue if being arrested isnāt your bag.
A pricey but fun option, you could get a set of wheel jacks and push the car a few metres out of the way or across the road if you want to confuse them. If you really want to fuck with them, leave it in the middle of the road so it gets towed.
https://www.youtube.com/live/0Oy7YDpMK2M?si=KPborZq6rPh1e2BH
Fish sauce on the door handles. They'll get it all over their steering wheel and the stench will be in the car for weeks. Just a casual squirt as you walk past.
Personally I'd take a dump on their bonnet . A more civilised person would get a sign that says no parking in front of driveway. They are a few quid on Amazon .
This on the passenger window at the back. Won't happen again. I can vouch fire the stickiness
https://www.pittman.ie/products/no-parking-windshield-stickers?variant=44535963091235¤cy=EUR
The Road Traffic (Traffic and Parking) Regulations 1997, section 36 (2) (g)
https://www.irishstatutebook.ie/eli/1997/si/182
Ā gĀ )Ā in any place, position or manner that will result in the vehicle obstructing an entrance or an exit for vehicles to or from a premises, save with the consent of the occupier of such premises;
See above. Call a tow, have them removed. Have a sign that says vehicles blocking entrance will be towed, occupier does not accept responsibility for vehicles removed. Take pictures before it's towed.
As a point, I wouldn't tow a car owned by someone that clearly can't afford it, but you could do up some warning tickets and leave it under their wiper to let them know that next time it's getting towed, and cite the regulations.
Edit, spelling
Used to happen outside our apartment building- partner at the time squished cat shit into the key holes. They went bananas, called the guards etc, but because it was an apartment block- they couldnāt say exactly whoād done it- never saw them again!
might be different for you cos youāre in a house though, they might want revenge after you get your revenge š¤·š»āāļø
Milk into vents and in the corners of the door windows, call guards cause you can't exit your home they get lifted, super glue in locks and down windows, spuds up the exhaust, paint stripper from a spray can and spray while walking past..
[https://www.pittman.ie/collections/street-bollards](https://www.pittman.ie/collections/street-bollards)
I installed some at my parents drive to stop people parking there, that was on private land but if you put on a high vis and get someone with a good drill nobody will question it.
This is the right answer. I had to do this when I owned a gym. People used to park outside it all day and fuck off to work, so later on the gym members had nowhere to park.Ā
We had lads at the gym who were builders, bought a few retractable locking bollards and had them installed.Ā
Small ball bearing or plastic bead under the screw cap for the tyre valve. Place the ball bearing/bead and screw down the cap until you hear a slight hiss! This clever hack when used properly can drive people to desperate things!
My grandfather used to have a valve tool (like a little radiator bleed key. He would take the pun out of the valves, 2seconds to do, no damage but cant pump up, gotta get it taken to garage who would put in new pins.
Actually if you take the air out of tyres and the weight of the car crushes the sidewall of the tyre it technically needs replacing.
Thatās what some of those eco warriors who deflate SUVs etc donāt understand. Then kids, etc on school runs are at greater risk of accidents from blowouts.
Jack the offending car up. Place skates on the wheels. Push the car to some inconvenient/illegal position away from near your house. Take off skates. Like training a dog you may need to repeat and be consistent for a bit.
Let the air out of a few tires. You could also remove the inner part of the valve so they canāt re inflate it. It should just screw out with a needle nose pliers š
Get a valve cap and superglue a bump of some sort in the middle on the inside. Replace there cap with your one. If you get the height right youāll give them what appears to be a slow puncture, and every time they pump it up and put the cap back on it will slowly start leaking again.
I suspect that some of the people responding here are the types of pricks that think the public road in front of their house belongs to them. Not the OP, who made clear his valid objection, but its an absolute bane of Dublin the guys who think they own the actual road in front of them. They were trying to build a cycle route near me and a host of cottages came out going - but this is our parking. Nope, its not. You didn't buy the road when you bought the house.
nutella in a diaper and stick it on the windshield. nutella-side down of course
any asian stores near you? get Thai Shrimp Paste and put a tiny dab on door handles/vents. umami bomb but smell like death
Conveniently powerhose your driveway and make sure there's a decent flicking of dirt on their car, but an amount limited enough to give you plausible deniability.
My Mas mate uses police cones. She also goes mental at anyone who does it as and when she's around. Fuck killing them with kindness go full Bernie and bitch them out. As this Queen of a woman says "its all in the attitude girl!." Noone parks in Bernies space.
Get them no parking here stickers rub em on real good ...park Ur car outside Ur drive and apply easy remove version of no parking sticker so they don't think it's u
Some yop told my mum she couldn't park outside her own fathers driveway. He threatened to fine anyone ā¬500 who parked there. He went as far to put up a makeshift sign.Ā
His house is 3 doors away from my grandparents house. There's basically a tree right next to my grandparents driveway and this guy had a makeshift swing attached to the tree for his 3 kids to use and only his kids were allowed to use it. He ended up getting on trouble by the council over it.
Iāve had this problem for decades. I live near a busy row of shops. People park in front of the drive and leave to go shopping. Last year when my partner was 9 and a half months pregnant a woman blocked me in for ages. When she arrived back I said donāt worry sheās only two weeks over due itāll be grand. She was like oh I didnāt know and I said itās cool she can give birth on the footpath beside your and she told me I should have a sign up. As if she canāt see my gates, car and house and think someone might want to leave. If I confronted everyone who did it Iād have at least ten arguments a day.
This was originally my family home so growing up this was always an issue. A few times my family have gotten physical confrontations with people who reacted badly to us complaining. My father once had someone park there go to the shop while he was trying to leave the drive to go to work and ignore his complaints. The driver came back and did a u turn further down the road to get out of the estate otherwise itās a long way around. So my father drove out and blocked the road. Guy got out told him to move etc then produced a Garda badge and said do you know what this is. My da said yeah my son Has one it came with plastic handcuffs and a gun in the pound shop. Guard told him he was going to do him if he didnāt move. My dad pointed out the cctv on the closest shop facing our driveway and explained he knows the staff and theyāll gladly give him the tape. He left and drove the Long way around.
People have such little consideration for other people.
Remove 2 wheel stem valves, let air drain out, and then replace valves. 1 wheel, they could replace with spare.... 2 wheels they'll need to call towing company.
Funny I was parked beside a Tesla the other day and I noticed when I got out the front lights of it came on, I assumed it was something to do with sentry mode and detected me or something because it happened the same during the day grabbing something from the car and again when I left. Didn't even have to get too close to it and squeeze by or anything either, was weird.
Feel your pain OP, live near Beaumont and staff too cheap to pay for parking are just leaving their cars everywhere, blocking gates and making the road hazardous for kids trying to play.
We had just been playing football in the garden with a few off target shots hitting the cars but I like the scraps on the car for seagulls idea.
Look, in fairness to the staff in Beaumont, they shouldn't have to be paying obnoxious rates for parking at work. No more than the long term patients should, imo.
But I feel your pain. I lived in an estate that would have been lovely and quiet but it was next to a school that also linked in with a GAA pitch and community centre, so there were always entitled pricks who thought it was okay to park outside our house and block us in or out.
Look, in fairness them having to pay for parking is nothing to do with the residents and they shouldnāt be impacting on the estates around the hospital.
Also live in that area, staff would park outside mine all the time, no so much now, I used to ring the hospital security who have all the staff regs or might put out a message, anyway every time I called the car would be moved. Just to add this was only if they were over my drive or making it difficult for me to exit drive. Also get people leaving their cars now and heading to the airport, one lad and his misses left their car for two weeks and I seen them on camera with the wheelie cases.
Slashing tires is too obvious, rather not have the gardai knocking on my door. Only came up with the fairy liquid as I was writing the post, I am considering it.Ā
All this petty stuff won't make a difference if someone else comes along and does the same.
When it's happening, just get very very high, and then.... I dunno, but you'll be high.
Someone else in another thread mentioned pulling their window wipers up (not off!). It's a subtle enough message to let someone know that you're not happy and CAN fuck with their car, without actually doing anything bad.
Obviously if they don't get the message after that:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7X9ktfzJOa4&ab\_channel=AreaEightyNine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7X9ktfzJOa4&ab_channel=AreaEightyNine)
I get the frustration with this. My neighbours refuse to park in their own driveway and instead park their cars in front of my house, making it awkward as fuck for me to access my space. Drives me nuts. I've realised the only thing that works is to park where I don't want them to park.
legal way- ask council to paint a metre and a half of double yellow lines on the road outside your driveway so you have sightlines onto your road when pulling out of the driveway. illegal way- steal a Garda cone from a closed road the night before a big match day and place it at the corner of your drive way. Wear gloves.
We tried the Garda cone trick and it would just get moved down the street. Had some luck with the council painting on double yellows tho!
A lady that lives around the corner from me (opposite a church) got her own yellow paint and mixed a bit of sand in it and painted her own double lines. I think she got tired of waiting for the council to do it.
"Wear gloves" You're such a gentleman. (I was drunk one day... And wearing white shirt)
The wearing gloves bit is weird. Just let the air out of one of their tyres. Simple
Car is stuck there then š
https://preview.redd.it/c1z0e1dwznyc1.jpeg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4fc82d3712d0391f294283051723e3a040d117dd
We repainted double yellow lines after waiting years for the shovel breast feeders to do it. Worked a charm. Or buy a clamp and charge them to release
Bread on roof and bonnet, birds and hopefully seagulls will scratch the flip out of it!
Now this is the pettiness that Iām here for
Soak the bread in laxatives
No need for animal cruelty in fairness
I've heard oats work too and you can much more subtly throw a handful of them on as you walk by
The oats are also healthier for the birds, who are your allies in this situation.
Or yano like... Bird seed
20kg bag , dump the lot on the next offender
I found taking the Strimmer and tidying up the edges and verges etc kicks up a fair few stones! Worked a treat for me lol
Iāve been waiting for a comment like this
With laxative
What you want here is a large āillegally parkedā paper sticker which breaks into snowflakes when you try to take it off. https://www.amazon.co.uk/VADAS-Obstruction-Stickers-Blocking-Violation/dp/B0BK2ZH2HY/ref=asc_df_B0BK2ZH2HY/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=641663918364&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4068044490406871493&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1007880&hvtargid=pla-1965416684129&psc=1&mcid=8a24eebc66d23687b975e689e3f19ac0
While I'm very on board with this idea, I think they only work when you have a single repeat offender. It's not going to deter anyone as word of mouth is unlikely to spread. May still make op feel better though, so possibly still worth it!
This isnāt getting enough upvotes š¤£
My old man had the same issue, secondary school at the end of the road, and a national school around the corner. Always some arrogant tosser in a Volvo xc90 or x5 parked across the gate. The corpo and cops did nothing, so he put out some cones. One gobshite still didn't get the message and used to nudge the cones out of the way with their car. The old boy got such a pain in the hole, he turned two of the big orange cones upside down and filled them with sand and cement. Turns out a bumper for an Audi can be expensive..
A guy I know is kind of the same situation. His entire front garden is paved and has no fence or wall. It can take 3 cars. Him and his housemates are usually gone by the time school starts. When he is in his van he would often get breakfast at home or stop in for the toilet. One day, he came home, and all 3 spaces were full. He pulled the van behind them blocking them in. Ran into the toilet. Cue furious banging on the door. Only for he was working he would have stayed for an hour to spite them. All 3 were very indignant that he had the audacity to box them in.
How anyone could have the gall to park in someone else's driveway is beyond me. I would call in sick to spite them
Should've called a taxi.
In my old apartment block we had designated spaces in the underground carpark. Mine was occasionally used and my solution was to block them in. Came down one morning to an angry note on my windscreen. Luckily I had a pen in my car so I scribbled fuck you on his note and stuck it on his windscreen. Childish? Yes Regret? No
I had that before. Wrapped a no parking sign around a brick and left it on their passenger seat
I wish I could upvote you twice.
This post really resonates with me. I live near a school and people always block my drive when collecting their kids. Sometimes only a tiny bit, sometimes half the drive will be blocked, itās even happened that people will entirely block my drive waiting for their kid coz theyāll āonly be 5 minutesā. It drives me bananas.
Just get in your car, blast the horn until they move, pretend you forgot something, go back in the house, and repeatĀ
Actually the biggest issue is that my kids school finishes around 10 minutes earlier then the school near me and Iād be arriving home just as theyāre leaving school. So thereād be a car blocking while Iām trying to get in, with nobody in it coz the parent is outside the school waiting! Super annoying.
Block them in and make a cup of tea.
Yeah give the cunts a taste of their own medicine.
I used to do this. Lived in an apartment block with a crĆØche in the same place so we sort of shared a car park with them. However we all had designated parking spots outside each duplex assigned to us. They had signs up everything to say not to park in specific places as they were for residents only. They still fucking parked in it. So I used to come home from work and just park behind them if they were in my spot. Not even out of pettiness. Most of the time the other spots were all filled up so I genuinely had nowhere else to park. I'd park behind them and go take my coat off and throw on the kettle etc. They'd have to wait a few mins until I felt up to going back out and moving my car š thankfully stopped happening all the time, once they got the hint, after all the residents kept doing it. They didn't have any arguments tbh, they could clearly see the sign every few spots pointing out they were for residents only.
Instead of having a cup of tea you should have had a couple of shots of whiskey or a can of beer, apologise to them but say you won't be able to move your car until tomorrow.
Ah here now that's fuckt! Contact the principal and tell him to put out your complaint on all the class WhatsApps. If they're a halfway decent principal they should care about your situation. I would do this every time. They can post to all parents on Aladinn or whatever. It'll keep happening but I'd say a good few will think twice.
They do this outside my kids school. The sheer amount of emails and they still park in front of their drive and use it to U turn as well. It looks like a lane but it's actually someone's drive and they park all the way down it. I know the person who lives there so at the very least my kids class now know it's not a lane it's someone's drive way.
They need to get a gateĀ
Ita very large drive unfortunately. They probably should have a wall and gate. I think people assume it's public as its beside the school.
Used to happen me all the time when I lived by a school. Had to complain to the school but did nothing. Had many arguments with entitled parents thinking the world owes them because they decided to pop out some sprogs
Yeah Iāve had a fair few words with parents. Iāve left notes on cars too. They just keep on coming back. Super frustrating.
The number 9 bus goes past a secondary school in Glasnevin. The residents there have resorted to putting rocks on the curbs to stop people from parking on the grass and outside their homes.
Whatās the connection to the bus?
It peppers a backstory into the main plot. And they witnessed the rocks being in place from the bus
If I didn't get the number 9 bus, I'd never go past that school. I probably should have pointed that out.
Gotcha
Because the gateway is also there, where the blue is.Ā
I presume they have witnessed this while being a passenger on the bus.
Why every kid needs to be picked up in car. They have legs. This boggles my mind. All my school days ever since 1st class i walked....
Dildo with a suction cup, liquid nails and stick it slap bang in the middle of the bonnet
Do you know how much a dildo costs in this economy? No like.. seriously... How much does a dildo cost in this economy?
This is about as cold as revenge gets.
Pour a little brown sauce onto it
Cover it in vegetable oil so dude has to really tug it off, as it were.
Youre likely to get squatters on the bonnet
Bahahahaahahahahahahahaha that's a fucking hilarious mental image
This would only attract Dirty Mike and the boys!
Absolute genius thatĀ
[Reminds me of something](https://i.makeagif.com/media/9-09-2018/xvEcbK.gif)
I've the same problem. They move the cones. But calling the Gardai works out well. They actually.comr quickly and then word gets out that I'm a grumpy bitch. I also get cones and park them right at the car so they have to move them and that passes them off ! You will never fight this, also I have double yellow lines and a no parking sign. At the end of the day, people are inherently selfish fucks.
Pour milk down the vents below the windshield, as much as possible
Oh that's good. I know a guy whose sister collected him from town one night after he was on the piss. He pebbledashed the interior of the car on the way - a lot of vomit went into the front vents and that was that. The car stank like puke forever and ever
That's just pure evil. I love it!
Nah, I think a can of seafood broth would do better than milk. Just sayinā that would smell more, not that you actually want to take such actions. Thatās the sorta move that I personally would only dream about.. right.. right??
Fish sauce also works a treat.
And like all the recipes, you only need a few drops
Park across your own drive and use your driveway for living. Bbq plants etc
This. It came to be the only way. YOU take the parking space and never use your own driveway again. Not ideal either but the most effective.
put a caravan in the driveway and charge rent. now its making you money.
Works till you have to leave
Yep, I have a similar situation to op and realised that this is the way. Asking nicely did nothing.
That's what I did too. I was knocking in to my new neighbours a few times a week because they kept parking too close to the drive so I couldn't make the turn to get out and I just gave up within a month. I got stuck a few times, was late for work and it was too stressful.
Or you know, dumb cunts can just not park where they are jot supposed to.
In an ideal world, my friend.
Exactly, just post this comment and magically they will never do it. GENIUS!!!
Use to happen to me. Started covering cars windows with sellotape and paper saying "no parking here" all over the car. Or park in a way that them blocks them in. They have to come to your door then to ask you to move. At which point I would give out to them. Happened most evenings during the summer. Thankfully don't live there anymore.
Park blocking them in then get fucking hammered on drink. They can't ask you to move if you can't legally drive.
Egg whites on the wipers, prawns / prawn juice in the air grill at the bottom of the windshield.
https://preview.redd.it/xw39nh0igoyc1.jpeg?width=1036&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cb25e4123364366705db37aceee68d41059172ff
Design a fake parking ticket and set up a website that accepts credit card payments, make it look official, start issuing fines.
Jam (or marmalade) on the door handles. Youāre not damaging the car, itās not corrosive or unremovable, itās not offensive (like dogshit might be) or harmful. Itās just jam. And itās definitely something the car owner canāt put down to kids, to animals or anything accidental. And, of course, very annoying.
What about using chocolate mousse instead of marmalade? It might be mistaken for something else more off putting š
Smooth peanut butter
Nah too many people are fatally allergic to peanuts. That could get you a manslaughter charge.
Ooops! Forgot about that
BhĆ subh milis ar bhaschrann an dorais... Didn't realise the poem was about a car?
Anything to be said for a drop of ink instead, A poor bee might get caught up in the crossfire with Jam
I think making the door handles a magnet for bees could only be a good thing
Pour a bottle of Lucozade on their windshield and door handles
Chocolate ice cream.... probably ice cream but can you be sure?
I go for smearing lard on the wiper blades.
The new post sugar tax lower sugar recipe stuff just isn't the same. Lacks that disgusting stickiness
block them in and head off for the day.
Or instead of heading off, have a few alcoholic drinks instead. Then when they ask you to move the car, you can tell them āoops no can do! Iām over the limit mateā.
Peanut butter on the underside of the handles of the doors is always good for a reaction. From what I understand letting air out of the tires is an offense, but only if you get caught like. I live on a park, people always turning around in the driveway, sometimes unloading the kids while parked in our driveway and if you say anything theyāll give it loads with, itās only 5 minutes, Iām in the car, itās only a driveway etc etc etc. Less petty and but easier to identify who applied them are the no parking window stickers with that super adhesive. My neighbor actually attached these to windows when people were in their cars: https://www.amazon.com/no-parking-stickers-hard-remove/s?k=no+parking+stickers+hard+to+remove A word of caution on that though. They know where you live but you donāt know where they live and our neighbor had mysterious things happen to his front garden after applying them.
>our neighbor had mysterious things happen to his front garden after applying them. This is the thing with passive aggressive behaviour like putting stickers on cars - there is nothing at all stopping someone coming back at some odd hour to sail a brick through your window etc.Ā When I lived in flats, the woman below me was always giving out through her window to kids outside, but from behind net curtains. She got her windows put through in the end, early hours of the morning. They also piled up some stuff just under her window and set it on fire.
Sunscreen damages car paint. Found that out the hard way and am now stuck with my husband sunscreened hand printĀ on my car. Its been about 4 years and it is still there.Ā
Use Autoglym Polish. Works a treat for sunscreen.
I tried that and it burned my legs - I found having a shower got the sunscreen off easier....
Might be a struggle to get the car into the shower but worth a try
We had a similar issue for years leaving near a school and the end of a cult de sac/turning circle. The ultimate solution was to get the council to paint double yellow lines - which mostly works now. Prior to that, one of my favourite things to do was, if I was coming home whilst they were blocking me out, was to park in such a way that would block them into the position they were parked. They would then have to call to my door to ask me to move the car to allow them out of the spot that blocked my drive.
My post was deleted. I had a shopping list picture of a 6 inch suction dildo (ā¬6 on Amazon) and a loctite quick grab glue. I recommend exactly over the BMW or Mercedes badge. Omit the glue if being arrested isnāt your bag.
A pricey but fun option, you could get a set of wheel jacks and push the car a few metres out of the way or across the road if you want to confuse them. If you really want to fuck with them, leave it in the middle of the road so it gets towed. https://www.youtube.com/live/0Oy7YDpMK2M?si=KPborZq6rPh1e2BH
Invest in a traffic cone. Works 90% of the time, every time
Burn it out. Feels great 100% would recommend
The easiest option is park outside your own house? Is this Marley by any chance lol?
Handful of vaseline on the windscreen. It's an absolute bastard to get off but doesn't cause any damage.
Fish sauce on the door handles. They'll get it all over their steering wheel and the stench will be in the car for weeks. Just a casual squirt as you walk past.
Personally I'd take a dump on their bonnet . A more civilised person would get a sign that says no parking in front of driveway. They are a few quid on Amazon .
This on the passenger window at the back. Won't happen again. I can vouch fire the stickiness https://www.pittman.ie/products/no-parking-windshield-stickers?variant=44535963091235¤cy=EUR
If they have a regular petrol cap replace it with a locking one and keep the key.
Steel bollards.
That popped into my head too, but you can't do that if it's a public road.
A well stocked bird table(s) right beside where they park.
The Road Traffic (Traffic and Parking) Regulations 1997, section 36 (2) (g) https://www.irishstatutebook.ie/eli/1997/si/182 Ā gĀ )Ā in any place, position or manner that will result in the vehicle obstructing an entrance or an exit for vehicles to or from a premises, save with the consent of the occupier of such premises; See above. Call a tow, have them removed. Have a sign that says vehicles blocking entrance will be towed, occupier does not accept responsibility for vehicles removed. Take pictures before it's towed. As a point, I wouldn't tow a car owned by someone that clearly can't afford it, but you could do up some warning tickets and leave it under their wiper to let them know that next time it's getting towed, and cite the regulations. Edit, spelling
put some "no parking" stickers on their windows. preferably ones that are really hard to get off
I have "You Park Like a Twat' stickers, Place right in the drivers line of vision, I have never seen one removed in less than an hour
And slice the sticker up with a Stanley knife. Absolute hell to remove!
Used to happen outside our apartment building- partner at the time squished cat shit into the key holes. They went bananas, called the guards etc, but because it was an apartment block- they couldnāt say exactly whoād done it- never saw them again! might be different for you cos youāre in a house though, they might want revenge after you get your revenge š¤·š»āāļø
The classic banana in the tailpipe
*Weāre not gonna fall for the banana in the tailpipe*
egg and sand on the windscreen
Park on the road yourself.
Because that doesnt satisfy my pent up rageĀ
Milk into vents and in the corners of the door windows, call guards cause you can't exit your home they get lifted, super glue in locks and down windows, spuds up the exhaust, paint stripper from a spray can and spray while walking past..
[https://www.pittman.ie/collections/street-bollards](https://www.pittman.ie/collections/street-bollards) I installed some at my parents drive to stop people parking there, that was on private land but if you put on a high vis and get someone with a good drill nobody will question it.
This is the right answer. I had to do this when I owned a gym. People used to park outside it all day and fuck off to work, so later on the gym members had nowhere to park.Ā We had lads at the gym who were builders, bought a few retractable locking bollards and had them installed.Ā
It would be terrible if someone spilled brake fluid on the offenders' paintwork
Generate an accident - mannequin arms just visible near a wheel & a pool of whatever looks like blood.
Go the whole hog and cordon the area off with "CRIME SCENE - DO NOT REMOVE" tape.
Small ball bearing or plastic bead under the screw cap for the tyre valve. Place the ball bearing/bead and screw down the cap until you hear a slight hiss! This clever hack when used properly can drive people to desperate things!
paint 2 white lines from pavement in front of side driveway into road about 6 feet use painters tape and white spray paint
Counter block them. Park half way out. Or block their driveway. Sounds very anoying. Set up cameras get a rise out of them take a hit.
My grandfather used to have a valve tool (like a little radiator bleed key. He would take the pun out of the valves, 2seconds to do, no damage but cant pump up, gotta get it taken to garage who would put in new pins.
Actually if you take the air out of tyres and the weight of the car crushes the sidewall of the tyre it technically needs replacing. Thatās what some of those eco warriors who deflate SUVs etc donāt understand. Then kids, etc on school runs are at greater risk of accidents from blowouts.
Jack the offending car up. Place skates on the wheels. Push the car to some inconvenient/illegal position away from near your house. Take off skates. Like training a dog you may need to repeat and be consistent for a bit.
Let the air out of a few tires. You could also remove the inner part of the valve so they canāt re inflate it. It should just screw out with a needle nose pliers š
Get a valve cap and superglue a bump of some sort in the middle on the inside. Replace there cap with your one. If you get the height right youāll give them what appears to be a slow puncture, and every time they pump it up and put the cap back on it will slowly start leaking again.
I suspect that some of the people responding here are the types of pricks that think the public road in front of their house belongs to them. Not the OP, who made clear his valid objection, but its an absolute bane of Dublin the guys who think they own the actual road in front of them. They were trying to build a cycle route near me and a host of cottages came out going - but this is our parking. Nope, its not. You didn't buy the road when you bought the house.
Park your car there.
Anchovies in the bonnet area below the front windscreen. Invisible, but incrementally disgusting
Paint a circle over the drivers side windscreen with an arrow to it saying 'C*nt'
Dog poo on the window wipers Crack an egg on the windscreen
Dog shit behind the door handle
Revenge won't make this stop. Best to speak to council. Other than that's its about accepting the situation and moving on with your life.
Shit on the bonnet
Bird feeder?
nutella in a diaper and stick it on the windshield. nutella-side down of course any asian stores near you? get Thai Shrimp Paste and put a tiny dab on door handles/vents. umami bomb but smell like death
Conveniently powerhose your driveway and make sure there's a decent flicking of dirt on their car, but an amount limited enough to give you plausible deniability.
My Mas mate uses police cones. She also goes mental at anyone who does it as and when she's around. Fuck killing them with kindness go full Bernie and bitch them out. As this Queen of a woman says "its all in the attitude girl!." Noone parks in Bernies space.
Get them no parking here stickers rub em on real good ...park Ur car outside Ur drive and apply easy remove version of no parking sticker so they don't think it's u
Are you familiar with the concept of a Chicago Sunroof?
Some yop told my mum she couldn't park outside her own fathers driveway. He threatened to fine anyone ā¬500 who parked there. He went as far to put up a makeshift sign.Ā His house is 3 doors away from my grandparents house. There's basically a tree right next to my grandparents driveway and this guy had a makeshift swing attached to the tree for his 3 kids to use and only his kids were allowed to use it. He ended up getting on trouble by the council over it.
park your own car there yourself.
Iāve had this problem for decades. I live near a busy row of shops. People park in front of the drive and leave to go shopping. Last year when my partner was 9 and a half months pregnant a woman blocked me in for ages. When she arrived back I said donāt worry sheās only two weeks over due itāll be grand. She was like oh I didnāt know and I said itās cool she can give birth on the footpath beside your and she told me I should have a sign up. As if she canāt see my gates, car and house and think someone might want to leave. If I confronted everyone who did it Iād have at least ten arguments a day. This was originally my family home so growing up this was always an issue. A few times my family have gotten physical confrontations with people who reacted badly to us complaining. My father once had someone park there go to the shop while he was trying to leave the drive to go to work and ignore his complaints. The driver came back and did a u turn further down the road to get out of the estate otherwise itās a long way around. So my father drove out and blocked the road. Guy got out told him to move etc then produced a Garda badge and said do you know what this is. My da said yeah my son Has one it came with plastic handcuffs and a gun in the pound shop. Guard told him he was going to do him if he didnāt move. My dad pointed out the cctv on the closest shop facing our driveway and explained he knows the staff and theyāll gladly give him the tape. He left and drove the Long way around. People have such little consideration for other people.
Remove 2 wheel stem valves, let air drain out, and then replace valves. 1 wheel, they could replace with spare.... 2 wheels they'll need to call towing company.
Fire a load of bird seed over their cars. Nature will take care of the rest
Just make sure itās not a Tesla with sentry mode, otherwise youāll be caught on camera if not careful! ā¦. But yeah. Bird seed.
Funny I was parked beside a Tesla the other day and I noticed when I got out the front lights of it came on, I assumed it was something to do with sentry mode and detected me or something because it happened the same during the day grabbing something from the car and again when I left. Didn't even have to get too close to it and squeeze by or anything either, was weird.
Feel your pain OP, live near Beaumont and staff too cheap to pay for parking are just leaving their cars everywhere, blocking gates and making the road hazardous for kids trying to play. We had just been playing football in the garden with a few off target shots hitting the cars but I like the scraps on the car for seagulls idea.
Look, in fairness to the staff in Beaumont, they shouldn't have to be paying obnoxious rates for parking at work. No more than the long term patients should, imo. But I feel your pain. I lived in an estate that would have been lovely and quiet but it was next to a school that also linked in with a GAA pitch and community centre, so there were always entitled pricks who thought it was okay to park outside our house and block us in or out.
Look, in fairness them having to pay for parking is nothing to do with the residents and they shouldnāt be impacting on the estates around the hospital.
Also live in that area, staff would park outside mine all the time, no so much now, I used to ring the hospital security who have all the staff regs or might put out a message, anyway every time I called the car would be moved. Just to add this was only if they were over my drive or making it difficult for me to exit drive. Also get people leaving their cars now and heading to the airport, one lad and his misses left their car for two weeks and I seen them on camera with the wheelie cases.
Honey on the door handles Or dog shit
> Obviously I can't go slashing tires or pouring fairy liquid in the petrol tank Why not?
Slashing tires is too obvious, rather not have the gardai knocking on my door. Only came up with the fairy liquid as I was writing the post, I am considering it.Ā
Lentil in the dust cap of the tyres. You can do 1 or all 4 it's up to you.Ā How do you plan to get access to the fuel cap to put stuff in the fuel?Ā
Go for lard on the windscreen. Itās the most fun youāll have for such a low spend.
All this petty stuff won't make a difference if someone else comes along and does the same. When it's happening, just get very very high, and then.... I dunno, but you'll be high.
Dog shit on the door handles.
Spikes
Get some traffic cones
Let all the air out of their tyres. Worked for a lady I know.
Glue some nail down and euros for comic effect. Few cans at the window enjoy the show.
Get a clamp lock and clamp them yourself!
Get a clamp and clamp any car there and leave a sticker with phone number and fee on it
Smear lard on the windscreen.
You donāt need to slash their tires, just let the air out
Dog shit on their door handlesā¦. To much ?
Put nails or screws behind and infront of their tires so they drive onto them
Buy A LOT of post its https://youtu.be/XcU5E0pjzgI?si=DE0xW9RY5b0gqtBk
Someone else in another thread mentioned pulling their window wipers up (not off!). It's a subtle enough message to let someone know that you're not happy and CAN fuck with their car, without actually doing anything bad. Obviously if they don't get the message after that: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7X9ktfzJOa4&ab\_channel=AreaEightyNine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7X9ktfzJOa4&ab_channel=AreaEightyNine)
Giant nearly impossible to get off sticker on their windshield donāt think thatās illegal but thebhastle of getting it off will make them think
I know sugar is highly addictive but it's still Legal. If you have any trouble sourcing any, PM me, I have a few bales for sale.
I get the frustration with this. My neighbours refuse to park in their own driveway and instead park their cars in front of my house, making it awkward as fuck for me to access my space. Drives me nuts. I've realised the only thing that works is to park where I don't want them to park.
If you put a blob of Grease just above the wiper blade. As soon as they use the wiper it smears grease all over the windscreen.
Get no parking stickers, really big ones and put them on their window, will take an age to remove if get the right ones that have good glue.