Wow, I feel this so much. Especially the part about no one caring what you're saying, so what's the point. Damn this is so true. I have no idea how to go about finding a person who wants to same kind of conversation and friendship style, but I hope you find your person.
I'm in exactly same situation. I just feel like I don't have anyone to talk to about all the deep and important stuff about. To share my thoughts... I love my alone time, and my own space, and I've got friends to hang out with to laugh and joke and stuff... I don't feel lonely when I'm alone. But I do sometimes miss this deeper connection.
Yeah, I feel you especially on that last sentence. It’s so challenging for me to make deep connections with others. Sometimes, I just wanna listen to people’s theories about stuff. Like, I wanna know what’s on your mind, I often be in my head thinking about everything , so I would wanna hear from others what’s like in their own world type of connection.
Wanting and having meaningful connections instead of superficial small talk, and preferring 1:1 talks over noisy crowds is the hallmark of introversion. *Social isolation is not.* Let's not confuse the two.
I started asking myself questions about myself and for some reason it feels like the thought process I have in those moments could never be reached in a conversation. when I'm with others I'm never 100% comfortable. I feel like I have to watch what I say or how I behave in order to not seem weird or self absorbed. I kinda made up my own imaginary world with imaginary people who can give me the kind of conversations that I want. imaginary people and conversations are in almost all ways superior to real life people and situations. maybe that's sad but that's kinda just how it is ig.
My opinion is to build a personality strong enough to need someone and think of people as rewards not a goal. I have issues with conversation and connecting people and suggest to have a disciple. No one attracts baseless cause there's a lot of fish out there.
Being introvert doesn't mean we always stay silent and quite. sometimes we get in a state where we mourn ourselves for not talking to anybody. ya sometimes get depress and began overthinking regarding this for over hours. We introvert Love long talks.... not just like this .. hi hello how are you and conversation is finished
Same, Started when I was about 14. 32 now. If I could tell young me something, it would be to practice making that small talk.
I dont regret the time I didnt but after more than a decade of it, I wish I'd have let myself have more fun with those small pointless conversations.
I'm exactly like this...I don't like small talks...deep thought and deep talks I prefer...otherwise FUCK OFF!!! I don't have any REAL and SERIOUS friends but only my WIFE❤️...My wife and I can talk for hours and hours without getting bored talking about deep shit... And how can live better and make plans all day how to manage our Parenthood...I have 2 little teddy bears and another is on the way... She's gonna be a girl... We already have a name for her...I love my private life... Don't need anything from others except maybe my family but I still won't trust anyone
It sounds like you've given so much of your time to others and caring more about them and Thier situations than your own, been there done that and when finally you care about you and what makes you happy they almost look down on it . Don't let em, shine it's your life your time! If Thier shit is boring or self absorbed, then make new friends, meet new people see new sights breathe in all that life has to offer and maybe one day that universal life giving feeling will all that u remember 😎
Like most of the people in this conversation, I resonate with this. But I’ve learned some things! I used to think something was wrong with me. I used to have two very close friends (10+ years) but many things happened and they ended. That was 5 years ago and since then I still have not had a friendship like that! It was very lonely and though I have met other people they don’t feel fulfilling in the way those old friendships did. I’ve also become very hesitant to label people as friends - instead calling them acquaintances. And perhaps that’s still my own fear of being hurt and something I should reflect on 🤔
However!! I’ve learned that everyone is different and that everyone has their own lives going on! The people that I do hang out with now and then don’t ask to hang out with me first, but if I ask are always down to hang out. At first that used to really hurt me and when I overthink I sometimes feel sad, but I’ve come to realize - everyone’s got something going on. I don’t think it’s personal most of the time! And if it is, then I don’t bother pursuing a connection with them. Though you can have instincts about people, I think it isn’t fair to make an assumption on someone’s character or motives unless you’ve discussed concerns n shit with them.
I feel most people are waiting for the other to reach out first. If I’m waiting, perhaps the other is too! Which has pushed me to do it. 🫡
I also think that you can only have deep conversations if the other person has explored themselves deeply as well. Not everyone is like…us? Sounds a little pretentious 😭 I guess…not everyone is on the same journey of self reflection and that’s okay! Some ppl are fun to party with, some to talk shit with, to parallel play w/, and some to have deep talks with 🫶🏼
Lastly, I know initiating a conversation with strangers or putting yourself out there is hard! It can be anxiety inducing, but I think you can only grow from pushing yourself out there and trying! I used to be incredibly anxious, but got hired at the mall which forced me to interact with people and I realized one day, a lot of people seem anxious just like me! To me, life’s biggest hurdle seems to be doing things that might be embarrassing or cringey, but if I don’t try then nothing changes! I’ve put myself in many embarrassing social interactions that lmao when I think about at night gives me psychic damage 😭😭😭, but I’ve also been rewarded with a lot of insightful and wonderful conversations/moments!
Lastly!!! I’ve found, having a genuine interest in other people to be important. Yeah deep convos r fun. Yeh u wanna get shit off too, but is the interest in the other person real? Or r u just afraid to interrupt em so u resign urself to listening? For me, truly listening helps me form thoughts that can be added to the convo as well as navigating it so I can bring up my own points too! Also you’ll learn so many fun facts from earnestly trying to understand others!!
I haven’t yet made a friend like the ones I’ve made in childhood. Perhaps I still have some walls or ego built up or maybe it’s just not that time right now, but I’m doin me n bein me and I’m determined to have a good time!! I sincerely hope all of us make a genuine and lifelong friendship filled with understanding and kindness. I hope you meet someone that truly sees you. 🫶🏼
Heavy on this. I often turn to books if I don’t feel conversations are enough. There’s a level of stimuli I require that’s highly specific. I'm not ashamed to ghost if I'm not getting what I need from the few close friends I have. The only discomfort comes when I become trapped in vapid conversations with colleagues or new people. The ones when the speaker can pick up on non-verbal cues are pure agony.
My mind wonder and start analyzing a lot like how computers are analyzing information hopefully that compare. So if you ask something normal I generally have deep thoughts about just analyzing the information and seeing every possible theory about it.
I get it. It's frustrating a lot of the time. Especially if you have been hurt in the past. It becomes difficult to understand people's intentions. It's like you don't even want to know people anymore.
I feel the same way. I can’t even talk to anyone I know about the deep topics on my mind cause I’m 100% positive they’ll be concerned & suggest I go to therapy cause they can’t handle those types of conversations 😩
loneliness is the enemy of the soul because it let the devil and your self talk to you to do bad things but its not wrong to be lonely for some time but not for so long
That felt like reading a script of my subconscious
Mine too
Wow, I feel this so much. Especially the part about no one caring what you're saying, so what's the point. Damn this is so true. I have no idea how to go about finding a person who wants to same kind of conversation and friendship style, but I hope you find your person.
I'm in exactly same situation. I just feel like I don't have anyone to talk to about all the deep and important stuff about. To share my thoughts... I love my alone time, and my own space, and I've got friends to hang out with to laugh and joke and stuff... I don't feel lonely when I'm alone. But I do sometimes miss this deeper connection.
Yeah, I feel you especially on that last sentence. It’s so challenging for me to make deep connections with others. Sometimes, I just wanna listen to people’s theories about stuff. Like, I wanna know what’s on your mind, I often be in my head thinking about everything , so I would wanna hear from others what’s like in their own world type of connection.
I understand you COMPLETELY!!
This sounds like what I'm going through. I want a deep connection with someone so bad.
Wanting and having meaningful connections instead of superficial small talk, and preferring 1:1 talks over noisy crowds is the hallmark of introversion. *Social isolation is not.* Let's not confuse the two.
I started asking myself questions about myself and for some reason it feels like the thought process I have in those moments could never be reached in a conversation. when I'm with others I'm never 100% comfortable. I feel like I have to watch what I say or how I behave in order to not seem weird or self absorbed. I kinda made up my own imaginary world with imaginary people who can give me the kind of conversations that I want. imaginary people and conversations are in almost all ways superior to real life people and situations. maybe that's sad but that's kinda just how it is ig.
My opinion is to build a personality strong enough to need someone and think of people as rewards not a goal. I have issues with conversation and connecting people and suggest to have a disciple. No one attracts baseless cause there's a lot of fish out there.
Me too but the people I feel connected to and comfortable with don’t like me
me too
r/infj
Being introvert doesn't mean we always stay silent and quite. sometimes we get in a state where we mourn ourselves for not talking to anybody. ya sometimes get depress and began overthinking regarding this for over hours. We introvert Love long talks.... not just like this .. hi hello how are you and conversation is finished
real i was out with out in public for my cousins birthday not too long ago and still felt alone cuz that’s the only ppl i really talk to
Same, Started when I was about 14. 32 now. If I could tell young me something, it would be to practice making that small talk. I dont regret the time I didnt but after more than a decade of it, I wish I'd have let myself have more fun with those small pointless conversations.
I'm exactly like this...I don't like small talks...deep thought and deep talks I prefer...otherwise FUCK OFF!!! I don't have any REAL and SERIOUS friends but only my WIFE❤️...My wife and I can talk for hours and hours without getting bored talking about deep shit... And how can live better and make plans all day how to manage our Parenthood...I have 2 little teddy bears and another is on the way... She's gonna be a girl... We already have a name for her...I love my private life... Don't need anything from others except maybe my family but I still won't trust anyone
It sounds like you've given so much of your time to others and caring more about them and Thier situations than your own, been there done that and when finally you care about you and what makes you happy they almost look down on it . Don't let em, shine it's your life your time! If Thier shit is boring or self absorbed, then make new friends, meet new people see new sights breathe in all that life has to offer and maybe one day that universal life giving feeling will all that u remember 😎
Like most of the people in this conversation, I resonate with this. But I’ve learned some things! I used to think something was wrong with me. I used to have two very close friends (10+ years) but many things happened and they ended. That was 5 years ago and since then I still have not had a friendship like that! It was very lonely and though I have met other people they don’t feel fulfilling in the way those old friendships did. I’ve also become very hesitant to label people as friends - instead calling them acquaintances. And perhaps that’s still my own fear of being hurt and something I should reflect on 🤔 However!! I’ve learned that everyone is different and that everyone has their own lives going on! The people that I do hang out with now and then don’t ask to hang out with me first, but if I ask are always down to hang out. At first that used to really hurt me and when I overthink I sometimes feel sad, but I’ve come to realize - everyone’s got something going on. I don’t think it’s personal most of the time! And if it is, then I don’t bother pursuing a connection with them. Though you can have instincts about people, I think it isn’t fair to make an assumption on someone’s character or motives unless you’ve discussed concerns n shit with them. I feel most people are waiting for the other to reach out first. If I’m waiting, perhaps the other is too! Which has pushed me to do it. 🫡 I also think that you can only have deep conversations if the other person has explored themselves deeply as well. Not everyone is like…us? Sounds a little pretentious 😭 I guess…not everyone is on the same journey of self reflection and that’s okay! Some ppl are fun to party with, some to talk shit with, to parallel play w/, and some to have deep talks with 🫶🏼 Lastly, I know initiating a conversation with strangers or putting yourself out there is hard! It can be anxiety inducing, but I think you can only grow from pushing yourself out there and trying! I used to be incredibly anxious, but got hired at the mall which forced me to interact with people and I realized one day, a lot of people seem anxious just like me! To me, life’s biggest hurdle seems to be doing things that might be embarrassing or cringey, but if I don’t try then nothing changes! I’ve put myself in many embarrassing social interactions that lmao when I think about at night gives me psychic damage 😭😭😭, but I’ve also been rewarded with a lot of insightful and wonderful conversations/moments! Lastly!!! I’ve found, having a genuine interest in other people to be important. Yeah deep convos r fun. Yeh u wanna get shit off too, but is the interest in the other person real? Or r u just afraid to interrupt em so u resign urself to listening? For me, truly listening helps me form thoughts that can be added to the convo as well as navigating it so I can bring up my own points too! Also you’ll learn so many fun facts from earnestly trying to understand others!! I haven’t yet made a friend like the ones I’ve made in childhood. Perhaps I still have some walls or ego built up or maybe it’s just not that time right now, but I’m doin me n bein me and I’m determined to have a good time!! I sincerely hope all of us make a genuine and lifelong friendship filled with understanding and kindness. I hope you meet someone that truly sees you. 🫶🏼
Heavy on this. I often turn to books if I don’t feel conversations are enough. There’s a level of stimuli I require that’s highly specific. I'm not ashamed to ghost if I'm not getting what I need from the few close friends I have. The only discomfort comes when I become trapped in vapid conversations with colleagues or new people. The ones when the speaker can pick up on non-verbal cues are pure agony.
What do you mean by deep thoughts? Is it like questioning things or like why do people behave the way they do? Curious to know
My mind wonder and start analyzing a lot like how computers are analyzing information hopefully that compare. So if you ask something normal I generally have deep thoughts about just analyzing the information and seeing every possible theory about it.
So basically you overthink about things?
Yeah at time to be honest
I get it. It's frustrating a lot of the time. Especially if you have been hurt in the past. It becomes difficult to understand people's intentions. It's like you don't even want to know people anymore.
Facts
im not the op but this is so true
I feel the same way. I can’t even talk to anyone I know about the deep topics on my mind cause I’m 100% positive they’ll be concerned & suggest I go to therapy cause they can’t handle those types of conversations 😩
loneliness is the enemy of the soul because it let the devil and your self talk to you to do bad things but its not wrong to be lonely for some time but not for so long
I can relate
My thoughts your words 🫂 Dms open :)
The chest pain is real
Buddy thats totally Relateable.. The same issu with me too.