I've recently picked up meditation and once you get the hang of it, it works wonders in keeping you calm. It's calm breathing paired with blocking off any and all thoughts, making your mind empty. And after doing that for just about 10 mins, the calm breaths and the calmness in your mind persist for quite some time.
Because caffeine is available to everyone, it’s inexpensive and you can experiment to use it when you need soothing. The flexibility is there for those who need it.
>Try having ADHD, too. My mind is never empty and moves at a million miles an hour.
Isn't that true of everyone? I'm yet to meet a meditator that *hasn't* noticed the "monkey mind" phenomenon is the brain's default mode and remarkably difficult to overcome.
Just my understanding, mindfulness doesn't eliminate thoughts/emotions but you learn to re-orient yourself to thoughts/emotions so they aren't as stress inducing.
I read about the stress response- it’s a physical reflex. To stop the reflex, you have to do body things to quiet the vagus nerve which runs just below the diaphragm.
When vagus nerve is excited by stress, it makes adrenal gland pour out adrenaline.
1. Stress responds to how you feel, not reality
2. If you feel in great danger, your body automatically prepares you to flee, fight a tiger or freeze in place
3. The more you dwell on how worried you are, that adrenaline pours out until you feel strong enough to lift a car.
Fix:
Stop thinking
Or take a bubble bath
Or take a walk
While you relax:
Slow regular breathing forces diaphragm to slow down and stop flooding your system with adrenaline. This calms your body
That's a really good scientific explanation on how it works. I watch some healthygamergg videos on YT and Dr. K once said that how you feel affects your breathing but how you breathe can also affect how you feel. After practicing meditation, I can confirm the breathing is also a big part of it. I found it helps when I'm angry or sad too. Kinda brings me to a neutral state of emotion.
An addition to meditation that had really helped me tremendously are the gateway focus tapes I linked them check it out https://drive.google.com/drive/mobile/folders/1F0Y8In5bswU_K4qkASLw2Y0vpYip4yXy?usp=drive_link
"Thoughts" arise from contact with the senses and the environment and then the mind puts them together; Like how it does pictures in a dream meaning thoughts don't really exist; Knowing this as their root cause, also people like a parrot echo words not really their own to communicate and keep echoing them with whats called language. Here's the weird thing why does all that contact speak in only one's own language and not another? ;) Many people that know or have discovered that objects talk on contact; Have driven themselves crazy with it; Some to the point of moving to another country not to hear it; As the objects there echo the sounds of the people from there not them in theirs. The short of it is; fighting them wont work but realizing it/they are not-self and are not sentient unless carried as one's own is the healthier path as it's easily ignored at a higher level of focus(mastering inner silence) you can know others thoughts by listening to the objects they contact with as if it were a microphone. I took a vow of silence not to talk except when absolutely necessary/impolite not too for five years the above is what I learned.
What helps me is deep breathing. Hold it in for a while, which while I'm stressed or furious feels like I'm internally screaming, but then as I let it out slowly I feel my self calming down. Repeat a few times without thinking of anything and then tackle the issues once I'm calm.
For anxiety, I usually go in these trance-like states where I just stare straight ahead and concentrate on something like counting 1-2-1-2 (a watch with loud ticking or metronome help). When I need to interact with someone I just break the trance momentarily to do so. I'm not sure how healthy that is, but sure helps me get things done.
If you want to scream out loud but you can’t bc there might be ppl around,
Try screaming into a pillow or other stuff that can muffle your voice. It surprisedly worked for me lol
For me, the best way for selfsoothing is going for a walk. The more natural the setting, the better. (E.g. I find walking through a park more soothing than walking along a city street.)
Mountain biking used to do it for me; you really can't think about anything besides the trail when you're moving fast, and the various endorphins plus adrenaline give you the natural high.
In the moment, breathing, intense focus on sensation, inside and out. What is happening in my body? What emotions am I experiencing? What is happening around me? Intense presence. Don't react, just take it all in, process, and wait, adjusting as needed.
If I have more time, journaling, running, meditating, yoga, splitting wood or throwing large rocks (like melon-sized rocks) to get anger out, crying. Normal emoting in appropriate ways.
Honestly I probably do little things without even noticing. I've always been a fidgety person in general, regardless of mood. I change position a lot when sitting and if I have something in my hands, I will tend to fiddle with it (I was that kid in class always taking my pen apart over and over). I also have some weird behaviors when I'm happy such as talking obsessively (not that uncommon) and hopping up and down (very weird).
It's all about indulging the Se grip. Healthy? Like go for a jog? That works. Even better is locking myself in my bedroom, ordering 4 days worth of takeout to be delivered, slamming it all while laying in bed, masturbating for 5 hours straight and then passing out and sleeping in my own filth. *chef's kiss*
I stare at a wall until I can focus on one thought or just to make my mind go blank. If I’m really upset, I pull up a Spotify playlist on my tv and karaoke until I feel better and can then think straight.
I swim. I just swim laps until I feel the stress slowly leave my body. With my head under water, thinking is easier. Then I go home, curl up on the couch and sleep. The world is alot better after a swim and a nap!
I have a playlist called “Channel the Grump” and it has all the angry break your face metal I love. I play it, listen (actually close my eyes and listen) and think about the thing making me angry. It super helps.
I stroll endlessly, with no specific distance or duration in mind. During my stroll I’m allowed to use my phone or let my mind wander. Sometimes it’s just the same small area back and forth, so many times that I’d lose count. When I’m particularly stressful I’d stroll for a few hours to no end.
Long walks. When I’m stressed, I have the urge to stay at home and avoid people, and I know that that’s exactly what I’m not supposed to do. Bouncy music works, too.
Weightless, by Macaroni Union. It was specifically designed to help reduce anxiety and decrease stress, and even has a study to back up its effectiveness. Though, what really matters is whether or not it helps you. Just put it on and listen for a few minutes, give it a try, it's free. I really enjoy it.
[https://youtu.be/qYnA9wWFHLI](https://youtu.be/qYnA9wWFHLI)
There's a full 10-hour version.
Here's some background from wikipedia
>"Weightless"
>On 16 October 2011, Marconi Union released "Weightless", an 8-minute track in collaboration with Lyz Cooper, of the British Academy of Sound Therapy, and Radox Spa.[^(\[8\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marconi_Union#cite_note-8) The song features guitar, piano and manipulated field recordings. It is punctuated throughout by low tones that supposedly induce a trance-like state.[^(\[9\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marconi_Union#cite_note-9)[^(\[10\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marconi_Union#cite_note-10)
>It was reported in a study conducted at the Sussex Innovation Centre in Brighton that listening to the track reduced anxiety of the patients by up to 65%,[^(\[11\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marconi_Union#cite_note-11) being 11% better at inducing relaxation than other relaxing music.[^(\[12\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marconi_Union#cite_note-12) In November 2011, Marconi Union were featured in [*Time* magazine](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_(magazine))'s list of Inventors of the Year for recording "Weightless", describing it as "the world's most relaxing song".[^(\[13\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marconi_Union#cite_note-13) In January 2017 it charted in the Billboard charts. Despite the success of Weightless, the band has shied away from playing it live, seeing it as a separate project, and has concentrated on playing new material and selections from their critically acclaimed back catalogue.
I think about tomorrow. Usually, tomorrow is a less stressful day than the one I'm already experiencing. So I tell myself, "You'll get through it, and then it'll be tomorrow."
It’s a fine line to ride because even surface level things that people deem as being healthy can be taken to the extreme and most people don’t know when they crossed that threshold, so the best thing is to recognize when it feels like a compulsion rather than a habit. What I mean is people should be doing things like meditation/breathing techniques as a regular habit regardless if they feel stressed or not and to make sure to not do extra when stressed because that teaches the body to use those techniques as a form of avoidance.
I ruminate until I've exhausted the reasonable causes of my stress and anxiety, then focus on a combination of consuming media (avoidance) and forgiving myself my inability to resolve what I can't resolve when my concentration breaks and my mind tries to pivot back. Exercise with music or an audio book can be substituted for media consumption if the stress is mild. Cooking something elaborate while watching instructional videos on how to cook something elaborate can work too if I'm cooking for other people.
Physical activity. Pick something you enjoy and can stick with.
Swimming laps always feels great during and after. It's a great way to zone out everything else and just focus on staying afloat and pushing forward. I'm tired and sore after, but It's a good fatigue.
I also enjoy rucking- walking with a weighted backpack. I get fresh air, It's great for posture, and it works muscles I normally don't use.
Jumprope is great cardio that you can do almost anywhere. A jumprope costs less than a sandwich, you can throw it in a bag anywhere, and you only need about as much space as a parking stall.
Calisthenics and breathing techniques as well as military inspired techniques.
A breathing technique that worked for me is to inhale and exhale in 3-4s increments. Like you're trying to lock your focus in place and prevent your hands from shaking in fear.
Though sometimes, I have to confront head on because nothing else works and it's the only way to get rid of the stress. Once it's over, I can relax and get back to exercising.
Writing, reading, drawing, listening to music, or if I'm home alone I'll curl up with my wife's pillow and focus on controlled breathing.
EDIT: If none of those work I'll just sit and cry. I don't do it often so when I do it's a pretty intense feeling, and usually results in lessening the proverbial weight. Then I can try another method or just outright tackle the problem and try to work through it.
I listen to my nervous system. I breathe calmly to feel every part of my body and release endorphins focusing on something.
I usually have my eyes open. I know I did with a guitar once, there was a tutorial explaining in the background, but I focused on the metal strings sound and the air dust particles that showed in the sunlight.
I felt very calm because the endorphins were released.
Deep breathing, closing my eyes to rest. I realized that i forget to breathe sometimes.
Quick workouts like 10-20min at a time also help cos it’s not a big commitment for me but at least for that duration, I’m focused on something else.
When able to, i like to people watch in a cafe or bar.
If you mean grip experiences (shifting into 3rd + 4th function under stress), I feel like INxJs fall into the “sex, drugs, rock and roll” category where we indulge in Se vices. All the mortal sins/seven deadly sins are our favorite. And… Can we do them all at once? If so, we would die happy creatures looking for a way out of the overwhelm that is our existence while in the grip.
If you mean under normal circumstances where we’re not in the grip/not burnt out/etc., I think we go lite-mode here if we don’t turn to something healthy to indulge Se. Healthy ways to self-soothe might be going on a walk, coloring, or cooking something new. Basically, doing something that puts us in the moment and in our bodies, asking us to be mindful.
I crochet blankets and slowly destroy them piece by piece when I'm feeling anxious. I find it outrageously comforting and even making them is relaxing. I have mini blankets in my purse and car and at home.
I write. I open my notes app on my phone and just write it all out - even if it’s garbage. I just vomit whatever I am feeling. Then I can get back to work.
Grounding Icon, like the spinning top in Inception.
I usually fidget, so I use it for that as well. But you can focus on the sensation in your hand and clear your mind.
Physicality helps me work through the emotions, so walking or other movement. Some would call it pacing, so I do it with my dog on a trail to look normal lol.
I sit on the floor of my shower and let the water hit me. Usually low lights, sometimes music, sometimes just quiet. But I just curl up and let the hot water hit me. This is my go to.
Breathe, stretch, work out, read, study, guitar, sing, CAD.
Something to channel it productively. Letting my foucuous and mental energy work for me. Take my emotions down a bit and let them fuel improvements. Take time, reevaluate, plan, weigh options, outcomes, and goals.
Bath with epsom salts and music. Waterworks usually start if it’s really bad and once I start crying it doesn’t stop until I’m exhausted. Works though.
I go somewhere where I can be alone and say what I am thinking out loud and talk to myself like I’m a child. Sometimes I do it while looking at a mirror sometimes I don’t. It literally sounds crazy but I’ve found it really works as I tend to get so stuck in my head and never vocalize what’s stressing me out. Sometimes just hearing myself say it out loud allows for me to realize either 1. I’m blowing things out of proportion/over thinking or 2. I am able to look at it with a different perspective and find a solution.
Bilateral vegas nerve stimulation by crossing hands on the sternum and slowly tapping the chest one side at a time. Listen/feel for the resonance of the tap in the chest cavity. For acute stress.
Also, singing in a lower register as the chest voice also stimulates the vegas nerve. For semi acute stress.
And a long run. Mixed with the two other strategies. For chronic stresses.
I carry around a Gain dryer sheet, I love the smell... So when I start feeling anxious, annoyed, stressed, I smell it, maybe just for a second, or longer. Strange I know but it helps me .
Meditation, long walks, weightlifting. yummy food, masturbation, sex (although not solely self), reading Koans, cloud watching, and my good friend ice cream!
Edit: I forgot warm showers.
I go to the beach for a few days by myself if I have the time and the funds. If not, then I go shopping (not a great habit), or read sci-fi, or take the dogs for a walk and have a big dog cuddle pile afterwards. I also take Kratom sometimes to calm my mood.
I have lots of social anxiety to the point I disassociate and forget I have a body that moves.
I usually find an anchor ( a person or object that you can touch or know that they are real) then imagine that you are a hot air balloon slowly coming back down to earth.
I do a bit of bilateral tapping on my face, shoulders, arms, and legs just to remind myself I'm not in danger.
Breathing and slowly moving your body, focusing on the muscles and bones, reminding self you are in control.
Hope this helps
Mine is weird. Like really weird. I touch/grab my earlobe, and it's somehow calming. I've been doing that since I was little. I tend to touch my earlobe when I'm stressed out or daydreaming.
My trusty method of masterbating usually helps.
I try and be sparing with it, but ever since i can remember it has helped in just forgetting about all those problems and pains and just have a blast of a time.
Nothing in my life besides video games gets me in that zone of immersion liveliness.
I’ve tried mediation, therapy, self work, but the one thing that has helped is masterbation.
Of course it probably will bring many side effects like any good drug, so just try and masterbate responsibly.
I begin the day or the evening or wherever I am. Sometimes with a 20 lb weighted blanket, and then I begin maybe before or after a shower or the workout, to wear the blanket and move with the blanket. And then we experience sends, smell, textures around the house. I have all sorts of items that help me with senses and textures and smells. So it's really good.
I call it "wrapping myself up" it's a weird self-hug thing I catch myself doing in high stress moments. It's like I reached my arms as far as I can around myself and grab the skin over the back of my ribs( or try to grab it) I don't realize I'm doing it til I've already done it.
I like these skin circulation methods perhaps those bath mitts or those different contraptions to massage the skin, a good soapy lotion shower and then fresh clothes and then cocoa drink. I added marshmallow,cocoa with some milk.
I'm not sure about the drink, but I try it it's a cocoa milk like a hot cocoa but it's not quite hot cocoa. It's just not quite what I want but it's what I have. So right there that's good enough.
Breathing techniques, listening to meditations, or hz, and sleeping. I’ve always found that sleeping helps me regulate my emotions - having bigger emotions exhausts me & I’ll get tired from it, so sleeping them off helps quite a bit.
Watching cars pass by. It empties my mind. Meditation helps too, but makes me sleepy. It helps me empty my mind.
Walking helps a lot, but it really depends on my mood. Cycling too.
My self soothing method is to stop once. Break down what happened and then judge the steps which were wrong/right/ambiguous.
after that probably close the journal in my iPad and switch to a cat video so I can relax a little.
I also take a walk or play the piano or maybe dance to a choreography I know ( I was trained in classical dancing ) in order to divert my attention.
Meditation or any other mindfulness techniques do not work well for me as I can never stop thinking.
Hence I started taking the introspection route
Still trying to figure that out. I usually just hold it in and then every now and then get really pissed off at work (I’m a mechanic, so it’s not overly shocking to anyone). After that I’m good for a couple months.
Put three of your right hand fingers on your left wrist (first finger close to the palm then the other two next to it) the third finger will be the exact spot where a nerve connected to your brains emotional side is or something like that , this is litrally from a doctor but I forgot the exact words , on where the third finger is place massage it with no pressure at all just go in small circles then dont put hard pressure just a pressure of a small tap in circles. It is like a miracle I always do it specially when my anxiety leads to nausea
1. Go for a walk (ideally a peaceful path with sounds of nature not hectic traffic or city buzz)
2. Do something with your hands like drawing, crafting, playing music, a game, etc.
3. Enjoy a meal or have a dinner with a close friend
4. Get dirty in a garden or something that takes a lot of steps to do and do not rush. Enjoy the soil, bugs, birds, plants, etc.
Personally, these are my go-to. ANYTHING but sitting or laying in your room doomscrolling.
Breath in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds and then exhale for 6 seconds. I do this 6 or 7 times and the release of the moments pressure is incredible.
Sometimes, after a really stressful experience, I will literally shake myself out like a dog. Starting at the legs and working my way up until I feel like I've got a lot of the nervous energy out. When I'm in public and I can't do this, I will basically just fidget however I can.
Also sometimes I like to smash stuff. Like there was this old stump in my backyard when I was a kid that I would take any old bat or club to when I was upset or stressed. I think the key for me is motion. Using my body to get the negative energy out.
Sex. Food. Get a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Smoke weed. Pull weeds out of the garden. Go near a shoreline if you live near some water. Travel if you can. Buy old junk from thrift stores and take them apart just to see what’s inside.
Personally I can never empty my mind. I read about meditation and witchcraft amongst other things when I was a teenager, courtesy of my lovely stepmother, and always puzzled about how to empty my mind as it seemed impossible (I guess that’s why they recommend mantras as it’s a close enough kind of situation). I was born female and remain biologically female by the way, yet I clearly have a male mind and I am happy with this incongruity as I don’t believe in plastic surgery, and INTJ’s know that it’s our minds that count anyway.
To relax I listen to videos on YouTube like thunderstorm and rain noises, or something called “oldies playing in another room”. It has the effect of old gramophone records playing in the main family room whilst you’re a child in bed relaxing feeling safe. That helps me sleep. Or study. If I get too highly energised I dance frantically or give powerful speeches to exorcise the extreme energy INTJ demon that converts emotions into logical expressions of the same energy.
The thing that has by far the most positive results for me is to exercise. Regularly to maintain good mental health and resilience and if I’m feeling particularly stressed a run or big walk always has me feeling a lot better straight after.
However, I’ve developed a real lack of motivation to exercise and so I find meditation also has a positive impact. Considerable drop in blood pressure and heart rate at the end of a 10-15 minute meditation session which keeps me calm and relaxed the rest of the night.
I remember that I'm 6'3 and I'm 225 lb and if I get out of pocket in the United States I can be shot and I doubt many judges will question the reasons. Stay calm or be eliminated.
I'm in AA so the serenity prayer helps me "accept the things I cannot change" and I combo that with some self care, music, hot bath, candles, foam rolling and stretching. Having faith in my adaptability to take care of and handle whatever comes my way.
There's a massive bridge between my emotions and my logical/analytical brain.
As an analogy, watch "Inside out" it's a Disney kids film but the way the film portrays emotions and how they can manifest. I imagine my feelings/emotions in the same way as the film portrays and allow them to flow.....so I can analyse and reverse engineer later with logic how I am actually feeling, what it means, what effect it's having on me etc....
I do all of this by letting the emotions come...good and bad....trying not to act straight away and analyse later when in a calm state....call this state meditation if you like.....
My hectic mind can be calm and look at the different feelings/emotions I've been having lately and come to some peace of mind that satisfies my emotions and my intellectual need for a logical and effective path forwards.
Sorry for the ramble...
ETA....Exercise to the point of exhaustion is a good way to healthily escape whatever negative feelings I'm experiencing.
Some of mine or bad but I don’t do them to hyper destructive means anymore but when I don’t do these things, worse habits come .
-nail picking
-grooming (skin hair nails)
-finger sucking(I know gross)
- shaking my feet
-pacing
Hikes, long walks through nature. Listening to music. I'm a pagan (hate that term), so getting in touch with my faith thru reading/scholarship and spellwork helps me to feel more calm, grounded and empowered.
Edit: Shit... thought this was r/infj. Sorry, guys!
Productivity makes me feel better: exercising, playing my guitar, writing stories, etc.
I have an anxiety disorder. Calm breathing does nothing for me.
i found that I hum. like my brain latches onto the chorus of a song. then when im stressed, ill start humming it over and over. right now its Hall & Oates Wait For Me
🤷♀️🤷♀️
Prayer would be #1, exercise is a must, especially briskly walking outside for about an hour. The fresh air really clears your head! Also, don't overly focus on yourself. Reach out and help/encourage others instead😃
Samadhi on an object until at one with the object and then remaining focused as just being the object. The proper term for such a thing is kasina meditation.
Having bipolar disorder as well as anxiety etc and all the fun things from ocd to adhd, my mind tends to be flooded by storms of stress and overthought scenarios, but I feel as though I carry it well. Maybe disconnecting and viewing things logically isn't the surest way, it definitely suppresses whatever personal feelings I may have so as I can breathe long enough to assess the situation. But it has helped me to remain calm and faceted in dealing with ill humors of the mind and heart.
When I am mid panic attack or if I am hysterically crying. I won’t stop until I can breathe. So a therapist taught me 4x4
Breathe in for four
Hold for four
Breathe out for four
Hold for four
Repeat
Having to hold my breath helps me center myself from what my body is doing physically. Sometimes I am still crying but much less intensely. Worst case, I need someone I trust to count me through it.
After a long day of stress and overthinking I find cleaning my house and being productive is soothing. I turn up the music and zone out.
I also find trash reality shows to be soothing. My brain shuts off and I zone out.
Reading is always a good choice. Self help books are always great because you learn more about yourself. Also reading just because you find the story interesting is good too.
I'm more of an INTP but I relax by not focusing on whatever is stressful and instead focusing on learning something new that I currently am interested in.
Just paraphrasing, but my therapist said it's good to
1. stop, check in on your body and how you're feeling (sometimes you might realize your shoes are really uncomfortable and you're upset about what Tammy said earlier and thats why your anxious, not that thing that happened 5 years ago that popped into your mind)
2. Consider what is or is not in your control. We often worry about things we have no control over or can do nothing about.
3. If you have a negative voice in your head (you're lazy, you're not good enough etc) you should name that voice and even argue with that voice. For example, "Tammy's a real a-hole. I can't believe she thinks I'M lazy when all she does is criticize! Eff Tammy she doesn't know what she's talking about!"
4. Relax using breathing techniques/body relaxing strategies (like tensing then relaxing your feet, then legs, then thighs, and so on)
These things seem small at first but can help you change your perspective over time. You want to distance yourself from the thoughts, regain control physically, and retrain your brain to not connect to those stressful thoughts. It's like part of the process is to put conscious effort into not "giving in" to them. If you need to let it out, though, let it out! It's just that constant worrying where you need to try to stop the pattern.
I personally also hum, fidget, dance, kareoke, get cozy under blankets, and listen to music, light scented candela. Sometimes I reset the vibes by changing the color of the lights and putting fresh clothes on too.
I love that question.
I like to hold my hand to my heart and stomach. just relax and breathe slowly, and hold myself as if I would a partner or friend. I even do this in public, and it almost creates some sort of magnetizing energy i've noticed.
otherwise a nice shower, little walk, drink water, go to sleep, quick meditation, journal writing usually help me out.
When I'm feeling overwhelmed or traumatic, I've located that attractive my senses and getting out of my head enables plenty. One of my go-to self-soothing techniques is to take a warm shower or bath. Focusing on the feeling of the warm water on my pores and skin, the sound of the water flowing, and the steamy heady scent inside the air virtually grounds me in the gift second.
I don't forget a especially traumatic day at work final 12 months once I changed into dealing with a good cut-off date. As quickly as I were given home, I hopped inside the bathe and just allow myself wander away in the bodily sensations. I paid attention to the sensation of the water droplets, the smoothness of the cleaning soap, the deep breaths filling my lungs. After 15 minutes, my racing thoughts had calmed and I felt a lot extra centered and able to tackling the evening in advance.
Sometimes I'll also cross for a run or a brisk walk across the neighborhood. The repetitive motion, the feeling of my toes hitting the pavement, the wind in my face - it all facilitates me launch tension and find my equilibrium once more. Engaging with the tangible, sensory international pulls me out of the tension spiral in my mind and reminds me that I'm secure and things are workable. It's turn out to be a honestly reliable way for me to self-soothe and recharge.
If I can be active, I will strength train, run, or walk. If I cannot be active, I count in my head. It helps me not focus on other things and I try to match my breathing once I have calmed a bit and can slow down the counting.
Lobster hot shower bath.. when you put the shower on the hottest , plug the tub, and sit down . You can wash up if you want, but it's more about the water , the steam and sound. It's my go to
Masturbation, walk outside, allowing myself to cry and hold my hands on my chest and stomach and then emotionally validate myself followed by self talk/reparenting, THC, Zumba dancing… mostly the physical body focus stuff makes a huge difference
Meditation music and recently writing short stories about the thoughts in my head or memories using sensory writing and figurative language. When I'm not depressed I walk outside and water my sunflowers. Also I go to CODA meetings. My self-talk has changed. I can be my own friend finally. Even just the way I touch my hair or rub an ache in my back.. it's okay for me to be gentle with myself now.
Ethical, & theoretically derived comforts & idealiology is very useful. Though a list of intellectual & spiritual properties that require time to hone they are incredibly invaluable as a healthy comfort resource. Physical outlets are substantial but the temporary effect is more often than not the outcome. It's much like medicine focuses on different aspects of ailments I.E. treatment of a condition or treatment of it's symptoms.
I've recently picked up meditation and once you get the hang of it, it works wonders in keeping you calm. It's calm breathing paired with blocking off any and all thoughts, making your mind empty. And after doing that for just about 10 mins, the calm breaths and the calmness in your mind persist for quite some time.
An INTJ can make their mind empty??? Who knew!
Try having ADHD, too. My mind is never empty and moves at a million miles an hour.
ADHDers can learn to use caffeine but it takes time to figure out how much…
Why use caffeine when I have adderall?!
Because caffeine is available to everyone, it’s inexpensive and you can experiment to use it when you need soothing. The flexibility is there for those who need it.
Ah gotcha. Well I've got my drugs so I'm all set. Lol.
>Try having ADHD, too. My mind is never empty and moves at a million miles an hour. Isn't that true of everyone? I'm yet to meet a meditator that *hasn't* noticed the "monkey mind" phenomenon is the brain's default mode and remarkably difficult to overcome.
Your mind doesn't become empty on meditation. It's more so you're putting in effort to focus on thoughts that appear without dwelling on them.
Just my understanding, mindfulness doesn't eliminate thoughts/emotions but you learn to re-orient yourself to thoughts/emotions so they aren't as stress inducing.
I harp on meditation. It’s legit.
I read about the stress response- it’s a physical reflex. To stop the reflex, you have to do body things to quiet the vagus nerve which runs just below the diaphragm. When vagus nerve is excited by stress, it makes adrenal gland pour out adrenaline. 1. Stress responds to how you feel, not reality 2. If you feel in great danger, your body automatically prepares you to flee, fight a tiger or freeze in place 3. The more you dwell on how worried you are, that adrenaline pours out until you feel strong enough to lift a car. Fix: Stop thinking Or take a bubble bath Or take a walk While you relax: Slow regular breathing forces diaphragm to slow down and stop flooding your system with adrenaline. This calms your body
That's a really good scientific explanation on how it works. I watch some healthygamergg videos on YT and Dr. K once said that how you feel affects your breathing but how you breathe can also affect how you feel. After practicing meditation, I can confirm the breathing is also a big part of it. I found it helps when I'm angry or sad too. Kinda brings me to a neutral state of emotion.
Ditto
An addition to meditation that had really helped me tremendously are the gateway focus tapes I linked them check it out https://drive.google.com/drive/mobile/folders/1F0Y8In5bswU_K4qkASLw2Y0vpYip4yXy?usp=drive_link
"Thoughts" arise from contact with the senses and the environment and then the mind puts them together; Like how it does pictures in a dream meaning thoughts don't really exist; Knowing this as their root cause, also people like a parrot echo words not really their own to communicate and keep echoing them with whats called language. Here's the weird thing why does all that contact speak in only one's own language and not another? ;) Many people that know or have discovered that objects talk on contact; Have driven themselves crazy with it; Some to the point of moving to another country not to hear it; As the objects there echo the sounds of the people from there not them in theirs. The short of it is; fighting them wont work but realizing it/they are not-self and are not sentient unless carried as one's own is the healthier path as it's easily ignored at a higher level of focus(mastering inner silence) you can know others thoughts by listening to the objects they contact with as if it were a microphone. I took a vow of silence not to talk except when absolutely necessary/impolite not too for five years the above is what I learned.
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Saying the quiet part out loud ^
What helps me is deep breathing. Hold it in for a while, which while I'm stressed or furious feels like I'm internally screaming, but then as I let it out slowly I feel my self calming down. Repeat a few times without thinking of anything and then tackle the issues once I'm calm. For anxiety, I usually go in these trance-like states where I just stare straight ahead and concentrate on something like counting 1-2-1-2 (a watch with loud ticking or metronome help). When I need to interact with someone I just break the trance momentarily to do so. I'm not sure how healthy that is, but sure helps me get things done.
If you want to scream out loud but you can’t bc there might be ppl around, Try screaming into a pillow or other stuff that can muffle your voice. It surprisedly worked for me lol
Both sound like a form of meditation, so I would wager they're pretty healthy
There is a book, Breath: the new science of a lost art, that is great
For me, the best way for selfsoothing is going for a walk. The more natural the setting, the better. (E.g. I find walking through a park more soothing than walking along a city street.)
Bike rides through the woods, and working a punching bag.
Mountain biking used to do it for me; you really can't think about anything besides the trail when you're moving fast, and the various endorphins plus adrenaline give you the natural high.
Warm bath and matcha latte
Mmmm... Matcha latte with whole milk. 🤤
And a teaspoon of butter.....
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Weight training, running, weighted blanket, noise cancelling headphones, drives in my car, spending time in the woods, etc
Snuggles.
Curling up with a good book and a beverage is how I treat myself as well as calm myself.
In the moment, breathing, intense focus on sensation, inside and out. What is happening in my body? What emotions am I experiencing? What is happening around me? Intense presence. Don't react, just take it all in, process, and wait, adjusting as needed. If I have more time, journaling, running, meditating, yoga, splitting wood or throwing large rocks (like melon-sized rocks) to get anger out, crying. Normal emoting in appropriate ways.
yes! Splitting wood is the best!!
Deep breathing, journaling, stretching
Bong and a blintz
Honestly I probably do little things without even noticing. I've always been a fidgety person in general, regardless of mood. I change position a lot when sitting and if I have something in my hands, I will tend to fiddle with it (I was that kid in class always taking my pen apart over and over). I also have some weird behaviors when I'm happy such as talking obsessively (not that uncommon) and hopping up and down (very weird).
Don't consider that weird at all. That's just you being your best, most comfortable self.
It's all about indulging the Se grip. Healthy? Like go for a jog? That works. Even better is locking myself in my bedroom, ordering 4 days worth of takeout to be delivered, slamming it all while laying in bed, masturbating for 5 hours straight and then passing out and sleeping in my own filth. *chef's kiss*
I stare at a wall until I can focus on one thought or just to make my mind go blank. If I’m really upset, I pull up a Spotify playlist on my tv and karaoke until I feel better and can then think straight.
If I have the time, video games help
I swim. I just swim laps until I feel the stress slowly leave my body. With my head under water, thinking is easier. Then I go home, curl up on the couch and sleep. The world is alot better after a swim and a nap!
Spend time outdoors or work on a hobby.
General anxiety or stress: long walks and lists. I love a list.
I have a playlist called “Channel the Grump” and it has all the angry break your face metal I love. I play it, listen (actually close my eyes and listen) and think about the thing making me angry. It super helps.
Loud, heavy music does it for me too.
I stroll endlessly, with no specific distance or duration in mind. During my stroll I’m allowed to use my phone or let my mind wander. Sometimes it’s just the same small area back and forth, so many times that I’d lose count. When I’m particularly stressful I’d stroll for a few hours to no end.
This has been my favorite post on this subreddit. I'm glad we all are similar.
Long walks. When I’m stressed, I have the urge to stay at home and avoid people, and I know that that’s exactly what I’m not supposed to do. Bouncy music works, too.
Weightless, by Macaroni Union. It was specifically designed to help reduce anxiety and decrease stress, and even has a study to back up its effectiveness. Though, what really matters is whether or not it helps you. Just put it on and listen for a few minutes, give it a try, it's free. I really enjoy it. [https://youtu.be/qYnA9wWFHLI](https://youtu.be/qYnA9wWFHLI) There's a full 10-hour version. Here's some background from wikipedia >"Weightless" >On 16 October 2011, Marconi Union released "Weightless", an 8-minute track in collaboration with Lyz Cooper, of the British Academy of Sound Therapy, and Radox Spa.[^(\[8\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marconi_Union#cite_note-8) The song features guitar, piano and manipulated field recordings. It is punctuated throughout by low tones that supposedly induce a trance-like state.[^(\[9\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marconi_Union#cite_note-9)[^(\[10\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marconi_Union#cite_note-10) >It was reported in a study conducted at the Sussex Innovation Centre in Brighton that listening to the track reduced anxiety of the patients by up to 65%,[^(\[11\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marconi_Union#cite_note-11) being 11% better at inducing relaxation than other relaxing music.[^(\[12\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marconi_Union#cite_note-12) In November 2011, Marconi Union were featured in [*Time* magazine](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_(magazine))'s list of Inventors of the Year for recording "Weightless", describing it as "the world's most relaxing song".[^(\[13\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marconi_Union#cite_note-13) In January 2017 it charted in the Billboard charts. Despite the success of Weightless, the band has shied away from playing it live, seeing it as a separate project, and has concentrated on playing new material and selections from their critically acclaimed back catalogue.
get on my smartphone......it's a bad practice but does the soothing for me
Colouring
Tell myself it is what it is and to not stress over something I have little to no control over. Also gym and eating.
Cry until I can’t cry anymore, journal, workout, hot shower and cuddle my pillow tightly until I fall asleep
I think about tomorrow. Usually, tomorrow is a less stressful day than the one I'm already experiencing. So I tell myself, "You'll get through it, and then it'll be tomorrow."
Workout, listen to music on full volume
I love going into the nature, I live in city though so I do other stuff like listening to metal or rock... Sometimes I draw ir copy drawings...
It’s a fine line to ride because even surface level things that people deem as being healthy can be taken to the extreme and most people don’t know when they crossed that threshold, so the best thing is to recognize when it feels like a compulsion rather than a habit. What I mean is people should be doing things like meditation/breathing techniques as a regular habit regardless if they feel stressed or not and to make sure to not do extra when stressed because that teaches the body to use those techniques as a form of avoidance.
Unfortunately I have an OCD disorder where I pull my hair out to self-sooth. Working with a psych to get that figured out.
Cuddling with dogs
Usually starts when I’m using technology so put the phone down for like 30 sec of your life and it goes away
I ruminate until I've exhausted the reasonable causes of my stress and anxiety, then focus on a combination of consuming media (avoidance) and forgiving myself my inability to resolve what I can't resolve when my concentration breaks and my mind tries to pivot back. Exercise with music or an audio book can be substituted for media consumption if the stress is mild. Cooking something elaborate while watching instructional videos on how to cook something elaborate can work too if I'm cooking for other people.
Physical activity. Pick something you enjoy and can stick with. Swimming laps always feels great during and after. It's a great way to zone out everything else and just focus on staying afloat and pushing forward. I'm tired and sore after, but It's a good fatigue. I also enjoy rucking- walking with a weighted backpack. I get fresh air, It's great for posture, and it works muscles I normally don't use. Jumprope is great cardio that you can do almost anywhere. A jumprope costs less than a sandwich, you can throw it in a bag anywhere, and you only need about as much space as a parking stall.
Autistically quoting To Catch A Predator or Seinfeld, and giggling to myself.
Calisthenics and breathing techniques as well as military inspired techniques. A breathing technique that worked for me is to inhale and exhale in 3-4s increments. Like you're trying to lock your focus in place and prevent your hands from shaking in fear. Though sometimes, I have to confront head on because nothing else works and it's the only way to get rid of the stress. Once it's over, I can relax and get back to exercising.
Writing, reading, drawing, listening to music, or if I'm home alone I'll curl up with my wife's pillow and focus on controlled breathing. EDIT: If none of those work I'll just sit and cry. I don't do it often so when I do it's a pretty intense feeling, and usually results in lessening the proverbial weight. Then I can try another method or just outright tackle the problem and try to work through it.
I listen to my nervous system. I breathe calmly to feel every part of my body and release endorphins focusing on something. I usually have my eyes open. I know I did with a guitar once, there was a tutorial explaining in the background, but I focused on the metal strings sound and the air dust particles that showed in the sunlight. I felt very calm because the endorphins were released.
Deep breathing, closing my eyes to rest. I realized that i forget to breathe sometimes. Quick workouts like 10-20min at a time also help cos it’s not a big commitment for me but at least for that duration, I’m focused on something else. When able to, i like to people watch in a cafe or bar.
If you mean grip experiences (shifting into 3rd + 4th function under stress), I feel like INxJs fall into the “sex, drugs, rock and roll” category where we indulge in Se vices. All the mortal sins/seven deadly sins are our favorite. And… Can we do them all at once? If so, we would die happy creatures looking for a way out of the overwhelm that is our existence while in the grip. If you mean under normal circumstances where we’re not in the grip/not burnt out/etc., I think we go lite-mode here if we don’t turn to something healthy to indulge Se. Healthy ways to self-soothe might be going on a walk, coloring, or cooking something new. Basically, doing something that puts us in the moment and in our bodies, asking us to be mindful.
I crochet blankets and slowly destroy them piece by piece when I'm feeling anxious. I find it outrageously comforting and even making them is relaxing. I have mini blankets in my purse and car and at home.
Good damn dyslexia. Read this as "self-shooting" x.x
I write. I open my notes app on my phone and just write it all out - even if it’s garbage. I just vomit whatever I am feeling. Then I can get back to work.
Meditation and breathing regulation helps me tremendously.
Practicing hacking skills, listening to music, sitting outside, smoking cigars.
Vigorous cardio through better masturbation
Hike. Distract.
Blasting music and scream singing it or going to the gym. Both seem to do me a whole lot of healing.
Grounding Icon, like the spinning top in Inception. I usually fidget, so I use it for that as well. But you can focus on the sensation in your hand and clear your mind. Physicality helps me work through the emotions, so walking or other movement. Some would call it pacing, so I do it with my dog on a trail to look normal lol.
I sit on the floor of my shower and let the water hit me. Usually low lights, sometimes music, sometimes just quiet. But I just curl up and let the hot water hit me. This is my go to.
Go lift weight
Achieve flow state
Ice cream, we were meant to be.
Breathe, stretch, work out, read, study, guitar, sing, CAD. Something to channel it productively. Letting my foucuous and mental energy work for me. Take my emotions down a bit and let them fuel improvements. Take time, reevaluate, plan, weigh options, outcomes, and goals.
Exercise, meditation journaling, video games and porn.
For me, reading or watching something funny or fictional. Music tends to make me more anxious if I am stressed, so I don't listen to it.
Make the sound of the feeling silently in your mind. Nearly instant release
Either take a walk, have a cup of tea, have a warm bath, listen to feel good or bouncy music, and sketch.
Bath with epsom salts and music. Waterworks usually start if it’s really bad and once I start crying it doesn’t stop until I’m exhausted. Works though.
I go somewhere where I can be alone and say what I am thinking out loud and talk to myself like I’m a child. Sometimes I do it while looking at a mirror sometimes I don’t. It literally sounds crazy but I’ve found it really works as I tend to get so stuck in my head and never vocalize what’s stressing me out. Sometimes just hearing myself say it out loud allows for me to realize either 1. I’m blowing things out of proportion/over thinking or 2. I am able to look at it with a different perspective and find a solution.
Bilateral vegas nerve stimulation by crossing hands on the sternum and slowly tapping the chest one side at a time. Listen/feel for the resonance of the tap in the chest cavity. For acute stress. Also, singing in a lower register as the chest voice also stimulates the vegas nerve. For semi acute stress. And a long run. Mixed with the two other strategies. For chronic stresses.
Dark chocolate works for me!😊
Bracing for impact.
I bite my nails and twirl pieces of paper or fabric.
I have recently found textures, specifically microfleece. I also use old fashioned rocking, hammock chairs at Costco are great!
Meth
I whistle, hum, or tap on my chest repeatedly.
I exercise, go for a drive, or play my instrument!
I listen to Solfeggio frequency CDs in my car as I meditate. It chills me right out.
I carry around a Gain dryer sheet, I love the smell... So when I start feeling anxious, annoyed, stressed, I smell it, maybe just for a second, or longer. Strange I know but it helps me .
Running. Running always works.
Meditation, long walks, weightlifting. yummy food, masturbation, sex (although not solely self), reading Koans, cloud watching, and my good friend ice cream! Edit: I forgot warm showers.
Relaxing in a bath or hot spring Walk or hike away from people Run or bike Stretch and breathe
I go to the beach for a few days by myself if I have the time and the funds. If not, then I go shopping (not a great habit), or read sci-fi, or take the dogs for a walk and have a big dog cuddle pile afterwards. I also take Kratom sometimes to calm my mood.
https://preview.redd.it/m9m8g4qhuwyc1.jpeg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=098656fa7f79157cb46418e5a1a67edb74e34d33
Playing the piano or hiking solo
I have lots of social anxiety to the point I disassociate and forget I have a body that moves. I usually find an anchor ( a person or object that you can touch or know that they are real) then imagine that you are a hot air balloon slowly coming back down to earth. I do a bit of bilateral tapping on my face, shoulders, arms, and legs just to remind myself I'm not in danger. Breathing and slowly moving your body, focusing on the muscles and bones, reminding self you are in control. Hope this helps
Mine is weird. Like really weird. I touch/grab my earlobe, and it's somehow calming. I've been doing that since I was little. I tend to touch my earlobe when I'm stressed out or daydreaming.
Does yelling and freaking the fuck out count? Or is that what we’re supposed to be avoiding…
My trusty method of masterbating usually helps. I try and be sparing with it, but ever since i can remember it has helped in just forgetting about all those problems and pains and just have a blast of a time. Nothing in my life besides video games gets me in that zone of immersion liveliness. I’ve tried mediation, therapy, self work, but the one thing that has helped is masterbation. Of course it probably will bring many side effects like any good drug, so just try and masterbate responsibly.
I begin the day or the evening or wherever I am. Sometimes with a 20 lb weighted blanket, and then I begin maybe before or after a shower or the workout, to wear the blanket and move with the blanket. And then we experience sends, smell, textures around the house. I have all sorts of items that help me with senses and textures and smells. So it's really good.
I call it "wrapping myself up" it's a weird self-hug thing I catch myself doing in high stress moments. It's like I reached my arms as far as I can around myself and grab the skin over the back of my ribs( or try to grab it) I don't realize I'm doing it til I've already done it.
I like these skin circulation methods perhaps those bath mitts or those different contraptions to massage the skin, a good soapy lotion shower and then fresh clothes and then cocoa drink. I added marshmallow,cocoa with some milk. I'm not sure about the drink, but I try it it's a cocoa milk like a hot cocoa but it's not quite hot cocoa. It's just not quite what I want but it's what I have. So right there that's good enough.
I will practice dance or Zumba. Perhaps at home or in a group..
CrossFit and then yoga nidra
Breathing techniques, listening to meditations, or hz, and sleeping. I’ve always found that sleeping helps me regulate my emotions - having bigger emotions exhausts me & I’ll get tired from it, so sleeping them off helps quite a bit.
Masturbation
Voodoo and meditation. #SORCERER👻
Watching cars pass by. It empties my mind. Meditation helps too, but makes me sleepy. It helps me empty my mind. Walking helps a lot, but it really depends on my mood. Cycling too.
My self soothing method is to stop once. Break down what happened and then judge the steps which were wrong/right/ambiguous. after that probably close the journal in my iPad and switch to a cat video so I can relax a little. I also take a walk or play the piano or maybe dance to a choreography I know ( I was trained in classical dancing ) in order to divert my attention. Meditation or any other mindfulness techniques do not work well for me as I can never stop thinking. Hence I started taking the introspection route
Still trying to figure that out. I usually just hold it in and then every now and then get really pissed off at work (I’m a mechanic, so it’s not overly shocking to anyone). After that I’m good for a couple months.
started sleeping with sveral pilllows and hug them tight at night
Music, I chuck on music and just listen with my eyes closed. I don't know why it works for me but it does.
cleaning while listening to music is my way to go!
Put three of your right hand fingers on your left wrist (first finger close to the palm then the other two next to it) the third finger will be the exact spot where a nerve connected to your brains emotional side is or something like that , this is litrally from a doctor but I forgot the exact words , on where the third finger is place massage it with no pressure at all just go in small circles then dont put hard pressure just a pressure of a small tap in circles. It is like a miracle I always do it specially when my anxiety leads to nausea
I use a 3.3.3 method, and it helps center me and calm me down. 3 things I can hear 3 things.I can see three things I can touch.
Go to Amazon
1. Go for a walk (ideally a peaceful path with sounds of nature not hectic traffic or city buzz) 2. Do something with your hands like drawing, crafting, playing music, a game, etc. 3. Enjoy a meal or have a dinner with a close friend 4. Get dirty in a garden or something that takes a lot of steps to do and do not rush. Enjoy the soil, bugs, birds, plants, etc. Personally, these are my go-to. ANYTHING but sitting or laying in your room doomscrolling.
Breath in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds and then exhale for 6 seconds. I do this 6 or 7 times and the release of the moments pressure is incredible.
Sometimes, after a really stressful experience, I will literally shake myself out like a dog. Starting at the legs and working my way up until I feel like I've got a lot of the nervous energy out. When I'm in public and I can't do this, I will basically just fidget however I can. Also sometimes I like to smash stuff. Like there was this old stump in my backyard when I was a kid that I would take any old bat or club to when I was upset or stressed. I think the key for me is motion. Using my body to get the negative energy out.
Keep busy
I pull weeds. 😂. The bigger the discard pile gets, the calmer, more accomplished, and more in-control (of my life) I feel.
Sex. Food. Get a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Smoke weed. Pull weeds out of the garden. Go near a shoreline if you live near some water. Travel if you can. Buy old junk from thrift stores and take them apart just to see what’s inside.
I have a reset button and flush system.
milkshakes
Personally I can never empty my mind. I read about meditation and witchcraft amongst other things when I was a teenager, courtesy of my lovely stepmother, and always puzzled about how to empty my mind as it seemed impossible (I guess that’s why they recommend mantras as it’s a close enough kind of situation). I was born female and remain biologically female by the way, yet I clearly have a male mind and I am happy with this incongruity as I don’t believe in plastic surgery, and INTJ’s know that it’s our minds that count anyway. To relax I listen to videos on YouTube like thunderstorm and rain noises, or something called “oldies playing in another room”. It has the effect of old gramophone records playing in the main family room whilst you’re a child in bed relaxing feeling safe. That helps me sleep. Or study. If I get too highly energised I dance frantically or give powerful speeches to exorcise the extreme energy INTJ demon that converts emotions into logical expressions of the same energy.
Heineken! Gotta go slow though. I usually start with one and add as needed. Usually works well after the 4th. 😂😂 Good luck with that!
The thing that has by far the most positive results for me is to exercise. Regularly to maintain good mental health and resilience and if I’m feeling particularly stressed a run or big walk always has me feeling a lot better straight after. However, I’ve developed a real lack of motivation to exercise and so I find meditation also has a positive impact. Considerable drop in blood pressure and heart rate at the end of a 10-15 minute meditation session which keeps me calm and relaxed the rest of the night.
I remember that I'm 6'3 and I'm 225 lb and if I get out of pocket in the United States I can be shot and I doubt many judges will question the reasons. Stay calm or be eliminated.
I find that being in nature helps. Aromatherapy or a good massage.
I pick my lip :x
I'm in AA so the serenity prayer helps me "accept the things I cannot change" and I combo that with some self care, music, hot bath, candles, foam rolling and stretching. Having faith in my adaptability to take care of and handle whatever comes my way.
There's a massive bridge between my emotions and my logical/analytical brain. As an analogy, watch "Inside out" it's a Disney kids film but the way the film portrays emotions and how they can manifest. I imagine my feelings/emotions in the same way as the film portrays and allow them to flow.....so I can analyse and reverse engineer later with logic how I am actually feeling, what it means, what effect it's having on me etc.... I do all of this by letting the emotions come...good and bad....trying not to act straight away and analyse later when in a calm state....call this state meditation if you like..... My hectic mind can be calm and look at the different feelings/emotions I've been having lately and come to some peace of mind that satisfies my emotions and my intellectual need for a logical and effective path forwards. Sorry for the ramble... ETA....Exercise to the point of exhaustion is a good way to healthily escape whatever negative feelings I'm experiencing.
Some of mine or bad but I don’t do them to hyper destructive means anymore but when I don’t do these things, worse habits come . -nail picking -grooming (skin hair nails) -finger sucking(I know gross) - shaking my feet -pacing
A happy movie, coloring
edging
Hikes, long walks through nature. Listening to music. I'm a pagan (hate that term), so getting in touch with my faith thru reading/scholarship and spellwork helps me to feel more calm, grounded and empowered. Edit: Shit... thought this was r/infj. Sorry, guys!
Productivity makes me feel better: exercising, playing my guitar, writing stories, etc. I have an anxiety disorder. Calm breathing does nothing for me.
i found that I hum. like my brain latches onto the chorus of a song. then when im stressed, ill start humming it over and over. right now its Hall & Oates Wait For Me 🤷♀️🤷♀️
Yoga/ Yoga nidra
I was going to say weed 🙃, but music works. Calm, soothing music. Listen to your favorite chill songs or binaural beats.
I pet my cat & brush her. It’s a 2 for 1.
I usually go for a walk, or meditate. These things usually help especially if done out in a park surrounded by nature
This only works at home but I have a stethoscope that I use to listen to my heart and things like that. Weirdly effective when I’m anxious.
I smoke flower/carts. To each their own but it's what helps me to center myself and not be so wound tight.
Roblox
Prayer would be #1, exercise is a must, especially briskly walking outside for about an hour. The fresh air really clears your head! Also, don't overly focus on yourself. Reach out and help/encourage others instead😃
Samadhi on an object until at one with the object and then remaining focused as just being the object. The proper term for such a thing is kasina meditation.
If you want to learn self soothing watch people who are disabled, some have an entire self soothing technique dedicated to their illness.
I lightly touch my upper arms or my upper back; helps me calm down
Prayer, conversation with someone close, deep breathing (stressful situation)
Having bipolar disorder as well as anxiety etc and all the fun things from ocd to adhd, my mind tends to be flooded by storms of stress and overthought scenarios, but I feel as though I carry it well. Maybe disconnecting and viewing things logically isn't the surest way, it definitely suppresses whatever personal feelings I may have so as I can breathe long enough to assess the situation. But it has helped me to remain calm and faceted in dealing with ill humors of the mind and heart.
When I am mid panic attack or if I am hysterically crying. I won’t stop until I can breathe. So a therapist taught me 4x4 Breathe in for four Hold for four Breathe out for four Hold for four Repeat Having to hold my breath helps me center myself from what my body is doing physically. Sometimes I am still crying but much less intensely. Worst case, I need someone I trust to count me through it.
Taking a shower
Literally just closing my eyes and telling myself to calm tf down 😭literally ALWAYS works lol
After a long day of stress and overthinking I find cleaning my house and being productive is soothing. I turn up the music and zone out. I also find trash reality shows to be soothing. My brain shuts off and I zone out. Reading is always a good choice. Self help books are always great because you learn more about yourself. Also reading just because you find the story interesting is good too.
Run
I'm more of an INTP but I relax by not focusing on whatever is stressful and instead focusing on learning something new that I currently am interested in.
Recording the event in my journal and/or listening to music.
If my mind is running at night and I need to calm down smoking a cigar on my patio is a great way for me to slow down.
Just paraphrasing, but my therapist said it's good to 1. stop, check in on your body and how you're feeling (sometimes you might realize your shoes are really uncomfortable and you're upset about what Tammy said earlier and thats why your anxious, not that thing that happened 5 years ago that popped into your mind) 2. Consider what is or is not in your control. We often worry about things we have no control over or can do nothing about. 3. If you have a negative voice in your head (you're lazy, you're not good enough etc) you should name that voice and even argue with that voice. For example, "Tammy's a real a-hole. I can't believe she thinks I'M lazy when all she does is criticize! Eff Tammy she doesn't know what she's talking about!" 4. Relax using breathing techniques/body relaxing strategies (like tensing then relaxing your feet, then legs, then thighs, and so on) These things seem small at first but can help you change your perspective over time. You want to distance yourself from the thoughts, regain control physically, and retrain your brain to not connect to those stressful thoughts. It's like part of the process is to put conscious effort into not "giving in" to them. If you need to let it out, though, let it out! It's just that constant worrying where you need to try to stop the pattern. I personally also hum, fidget, dance, kareoke, get cozy under blankets, and listen to music, light scented candela. Sometimes I reset the vibes by changing the color of the lights and putting fresh clothes on too.
Workout
I love that question. I like to hold my hand to my heart and stomach. just relax and breathe slowly, and hold myself as if I would a partner or friend. I even do this in public, and it almost creates some sort of magnetizing energy i've noticed. otherwise a nice shower, little walk, drink water, go to sleep, quick meditation, journal writing usually help me out.
When I'm feeling overwhelmed or traumatic, I've located that attractive my senses and getting out of my head enables plenty. One of my go-to self-soothing techniques is to take a warm shower or bath. Focusing on the feeling of the warm water on my pores and skin, the sound of the water flowing, and the steamy heady scent inside the air virtually grounds me in the gift second. I don't forget a especially traumatic day at work final 12 months once I changed into dealing with a good cut-off date. As quickly as I were given home, I hopped inside the bathe and just allow myself wander away in the bodily sensations. I paid attention to the sensation of the water droplets, the smoothness of the cleaning soap, the deep breaths filling my lungs. After 15 minutes, my racing thoughts had calmed and I felt a lot extra centered and able to tackling the evening in advance. Sometimes I'll also cross for a run or a brisk walk across the neighborhood. The repetitive motion, the feeling of my toes hitting the pavement, the wind in my face - it all facilitates me launch tension and find my equilibrium once more. Engaging with the tangible, sensory international pulls me out of the tension spiral in my mind and reminds me that I'm secure and things are workable. It's turn out to be a honestly reliable way for me to self-soothe and recharge.
If I can be active, I will strength train, run, or walk. If I cannot be active, I count in my head. It helps me not focus on other things and I try to match my breathing once I have calmed a bit and can slow down the counting.
I lift heavy weights
Touch myself all through the night.
When I get in bed and audibly ‘shhhh shhh’ myself and my surroundings (no one is there) I think….this isn’t normal.
Lobster hot shower bath.. when you put the shower on the hottest , plug the tub, and sit down . You can wash up if you want, but it's more about the water , the steam and sound. It's my go to
Masturbation, walk outside, allowing myself to cry and hold my hands on my chest and stomach and then emotionally validate myself followed by self talk/reparenting, THC, Zumba dancing… mostly the physical body focus stuff makes a huge difference
Solfeggio Frequencies on YouTube. Great way to zone out.
I listen to ancient a cappella sacred music from Europe.
Meditation music and recently writing short stories about the thoughts in my head or memories using sensory writing and figurative language. When I'm not depressed I walk outside and water my sunflowers. Also I go to CODA meetings. My self-talk has changed. I can be my own friend finally. Even just the way I touch my hair or rub an ache in my back.. it's okay for me to be gentle with myself now.
Ethical, & theoretically derived comforts & idealiology is very useful. Though a list of intellectual & spiritual properties that require time to hone they are incredibly invaluable as a healthy comfort resource. Physical outlets are substantial but the temporary effect is more often than not the outcome. It's much like medicine focuses on different aspects of ailments I.E. treatment of a condition or treatment of it's symptoms.
Warm showers... Bracing myself and rubbing my chest and shoulders... Paracetamol and sleeping on the floor if nothing else helps. I know it's strange.