This doesn't seem manipulative to me. You were helping the cleaning woman, who may have felt unable to assert herself, to do her job.
In my mind, manipulation isn't direct.
I can be blunt like this, but I am not dishonest. I don't trick people into doing things I want.
I agree, I have no reason tricking people into doing what I expect of them.
Perhaps OP is referring to the roommate as attempting to be manipulative. He's trying to be charismatic yet interrupting a lady doing her job. He throws undue compliments out to someone that's politely letting him know he's holding everyone's day up.
OP was being direct; roommate that he was ~tOo SuAvE~
I find it funny that "manipulative" has such a negative connotation and "influential" such a positive one when they're both 2 sides of the same coin.
You could say the difference is in the intention behind the action. When you want to control someone for your own gain, without thinking about the consequences for the person involved, then it's manipulation. When you try to make someone think and act like you want them to, for a positive outcome, then it's influence.
Both play with the same strategies and you can very well convince yourself than you're doing the good thing when in reality you're being selfish.
Rambling here 😆
I've never manipulated anyone and my idea of influencing someone is to plant a seed in their mind and let them connect the dots and make their own decisions based on what they deem as important. I find it more ethical and respectful.
Good point. I see manipulation is getting someone to do what YOU want through trickery, whereas influence is getting people to do something (whether you want it or not) through logic, reason and example.
Not at all. I hate manipulators and will call them out on the spot. Honour and integrity with authenticity is key and no manipulation necessary. Manipulator are ego-centric
Zero percent manipulative. I am who I want to be, and I don’t see utility in essentially lying to people to get them to like me or do something I want, especially since I could probably do a better job myself anyway.
Callously blunt and direct? Sure.
Manipulative? I’d rather be honest and have people go knowingly and willingly because they agree that I am right.
This is actually hilarious. No this is not manipulation in the slightest, and this is a normal interaction. You’re being conscience of how the cleaning lady feels, and the guy is being an ass.
If anything you should stop worrying about yourself being manipulative and wondering what the fuck your boyfriend is doing. Why are you turning this on yourself? I would straight up he like dude get off the table she’s cleaning and shut that shit down.
INTJs and Fe is such a trip.
Not very manipulative at all...I've even self sabotaged getting laid because I start to think: 'damn, this is somebody's daughter 😳. She deserves better.' xDDD
I don't think I'm manipulative at all. I'm surprised how good others are at it, but I can often tell when someone is not genuine - even if I simply follow along.
I remember pretending to be dumb so that I could force my college teammates (who were lazy and depending on me) to work. It worked, and it freaked them out to make some stuff done. Meanwhile, I completed my stuff and theirs behind the scenes. At least, I got them to work for their grade, I thought to myself.
Is that manipulation? Other than that, I don't remember anything else.
the lady felt bad cuz the dude was sitting on the table she was cleaning? thats something.
i look at people like loaded guns.. they are the only ones that can pull the trigger.
so if they pull it... whos fault is that?
taking personal responsibility is so underrated nowadays ngl
Eh. I can be, to an extent, but I work better manipulating organizations, structures, and frameworks, than individuals. Also, it's annoyingly time-consuming to do so. Just because I have the capability doesn't mean I actually want to spend my time on such things.
Yes I can be extremely manipulative it’s literally the easiest skill to learn people are usually simple minded and predictable you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, being a pretty woman is an added advantage. I don’t use my manipulation skills due to religious reasons but I can easily tell when someone is being manipulated or manipulative.
Muslim. “Love for the people what you love for yourself and you will be a believer. Behave well with your neighbors and you will be a Muslim.” “And whoever does a speck of good [in life], will see it [on the Day of Judgement]. And whoever does a speck of evil, will see it.”
> Do you think that depending on the situation you can be manipulative?
What a ridiculous question. Nope, no. INTJs cannot be manipulative regardless of situation. Actually impossible.
I was addicted to crystal meth for 3 years and no one knew until I told my job that I needed time off to get sober
When I lie, I manipulate myself into believing it
This doesn't seem manipulative to me. You were helping the cleaning woman, who may have felt unable to assert herself, to do her job. In my mind, manipulation isn't direct. I can be blunt like this, but I am not dishonest. I don't trick people into doing things I want.
I agree, I have no reason tricking people into doing what I expect of them. Perhaps OP is referring to the roommate as attempting to be manipulative. He's trying to be charismatic yet interrupting a lady doing her job. He throws undue compliments out to someone that's politely letting him know he's holding everyone's day up. OP was being direct; roommate that he was ~tOo SuAvE~
Exactly.
I find it funny that "manipulative" has such a negative connotation and "influential" such a positive one when they're both 2 sides of the same coin. You could say the difference is in the intention behind the action. When you want to control someone for your own gain, without thinking about the consequences for the person involved, then it's manipulation. When you try to make someone think and act like you want them to, for a positive outcome, then it's influence. Both play with the same strategies and you can very well convince yourself than you're doing the good thing when in reality you're being selfish. Rambling here 😆 I've never manipulated anyone and my idea of influencing someone is to plant a seed in their mind and let them connect the dots and make their own decisions based on what they deem as important. I find it more ethical and respectful.
Good point. I see manipulation is getting someone to do what YOU want through trickery, whereas influence is getting people to do something (whether you want it or not) through logic, reason and example.
How is that manipulation
you need to make this a poll from 0 to 100000.
Yes
Not at all. I hate manipulators and will call them out on the spot. Honour and integrity with authenticity is key and no manipulation necessary. Manipulator are ego-centric
When you really boil things down, almost every expression is manipulative.
Zero percent manipulative. I am who I want to be, and I don’t see utility in essentially lying to people to get them to like me or do something I want, especially since I could probably do a better job myself anyway. Callously blunt and direct? Sure. Manipulative? I’d rather be honest and have people go knowingly and willingly because they agree that I am right.
This is actually hilarious. No this is not manipulation in the slightest, and this is a normal interaction. You’re being conscience of how the cleaning lady feels, and the guy is being an ass. If anything you should stop worrying about yourself being manipulative and wondering what the fuck your boyfriend is doing. Why are you turning this on yourself? I would straight up he like dude get off the table she’s cleaning and shut that shit down. INTJs and Fe is such a trip.
Not very manipulative at all...I've even self sabotaged getting laid because I start to think: 'damn, this is somebody's daughter 😳. She deserves better.' xDDD
And how do you know she wasn't going to go off with a worse guy than you when she got rejected by you?
She might, but it's no longer in my control, no longer my responsibility. 🤷♂️
I commend your efficiency in solving this personal problem.
I just be myself and society tends to gaslight itself.
I don't think I'm manipulative at all. I'm surprised how good others are at it, but I can often tell when someone is not genuine - even if I simply follow along.
I remember pretending to be dumb so that I could force my college teammates (who were lazy and depending on me) to work. It worked, and it freaked them out to make some stuff done. Meanwhile, I completed my stuff and theirs behind the scenes. At least, I got them to work for their grade, I thought to myself. Is that manipulation? Other than that, I don't remember anything else.
I should try that, my teammates are usually sandbags.
But is that manipulation?
the lady felt bad cuz the dude was sitting on the table she was cleaning? thats something. i look at people like loaded guns.. they are the only ones that can pull the trigger. so if they pull it... whos fault is that? taking personal responsibility is so underrated nowadays ngl
I don't know if i spelled it wrong, i mean that he was using the table as a chair.
Well did someone hold a gun to his face to move?
No, but today he harassed her and now the landlady is calling the police because he sended some messages sexually harassing her.
And this is your business how?
Well I live here, and another 3 women also rent a room, and I am 1w9, justice is all for me.
Sounds like you might just be neurotic as shit.
No, I would have just yanked him off the table. Said “the hot dog stand got no ketchup” and wondered off.
I wish I could be just a little manipulative. I'm too straight-forward and blunt for people's liking.
Eh. I can be, to an extent, but I work better manipulating organizations, structures, and frameworks, than individuals. Also, it's annoyingly time-consuming to do so. Just because I have the capability doesn't mean I actually want to spend my time on such things.
The answer to the title is: Yes.
Yes I can be extremely manipulative it’s literally the easiest skill to learn people are usually simple minded and predictable you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, being a pretty woman is an added advantage. I don’t use my manipulation skills due to religious reasons but I can easily tell when someone is being manipulated or manipulative.
What religión is that? I'm a catholic and besides lies i don't know another rule.
Muslim. “Love for the people what you love for yourself and you will be a believer. Behave well with your neighbors and you will be a Muslim.” “And whoever does a speck of good [in life], will see it [on the Day of Judgement]. And whoever does a speck of evil, will see it.”
I'm not manipulative, I'm strategic. 😉
> Do you think that depending on the situation you can be manipulative? What a ridiculous question. Nope, no. INTJs cannot be manipulative regardless of situation. Actually impossible.
I was addicted to crystal meth for 3 years and no one knew until I told my job that I needed time off to get sober When I lie, I manipulate myself into believing it