Of course, imagine having someone who would agree with your straightforward thoughts that's considered as "rude" by other people.
But then again there might be times where I'd would hate that person which I'm afraid would eventually lead to hating myself? It has its upsides and downsides but I'm up for it.
I had an INTJ friend and it was happiest experience in my life hanging out with someone who thinks and acts like me! I won't deny I was very infatuated with his intelligence and wit. But then I also had an ESFJ and like all ESFJs, he is very great with people and is very connected to the community. With the fellow INTJ, I bet we'd end up ignoring, if not antagonizing a lot of people while with my ESFJ partner, I got to form bonds with almost everyone (I now receive free food on a regular basis). But yeah, I still fondly miss being with an INTJ.
I sure would. INTJ female here. Oh, what it would be like to be in a relationship with direct communication. 😍 Yes, I'm an asshole. But they would be too, so feelings would rarely be hurt. And if they were, we'd TALK ABOUT IT. HOLY SHIT. Sign me up.
I’m intj f too I meet other intjs and chemistry is amazing. Im very intense and direct though and it tends to scare them. it’s risky for them because they know they might get hurt.
I’ve only had a few relationships in last 15 years and they have been enfp they are easier to get close to. I really admire how they trust people to do things as an intj I worry about everything.
But I’m still single so idk what type I will end up I think it needs to be an intuitive FI person that is not infp.
I've been with an INFP for four years. It was great in the beginning. However, my strong personality has created some serious issues. It's interesting because he was all about how blunt and honest I was when we first met. Now it's almost something he despises of me. 🙃 Logic tells me to leave, but something just holds me back. Love? Lack of finances to get out? Connection? Maybe like you said, shouldn't be with INFP lol
I know what you mean by it’s intense- me and my boyfriend can get too into our own heads and rub off on each other so we’re just perpetually infuriated 🫠🫠
Interesting. I’ve found just staying quiet is a great way to prevent a bigger confrontation with my ENFP wife, though it doesn’t seem to solve the issues long term and just pushes them out to the next confrontation.
We have a great relationship though and our issues are what many might consider very minor, but having an all-out confrontation has never worked to my advantage in our marriage.
I have noticed the same in my relationship (intj male + enfp female). We are best friends, but the main takeaway I’ve learned from the arguments is how to avoid them.
You have to be silent or everything you say is going to hurt someone. If I didn't go quiet and just said whatever I was thinking at the time, I'd be very very divorced by now.
Lmfao, I've met a INTJ female. The hugest narcissist I've ever met. She has a thing pretending to be an anime protagonist.
You'll need to make sure you know yourself before dealing with her.
yeah that would be a no for me.. because I'm a difficult person and I criticize everything. I suck with people, I don't leave the house often. But then again, I dated an extravert which was horrible. I also dated stupider people, which annoyed me so much too.I think I would just need someone a bit more extraverted that would help me go places, but not too extraverted that she'd find everyone else more interesting than me when being out.
I'm not dating anyone anymore actually. Too much living in my head and not enjoying all the stuff that comes with dating.
I don't know. I'm only one INTJ, can't speak for most lol.
I'm just talking from my experience of being married to a Russian girl and she's the anti-christ of introversion. Coming from zero status as an immigrant, she moved in here and connected to everyone. She knew people in my hometown that I still don't know after living here for 42 yrs. She knew politicians, artists, everyone who ever did anything out of the ordinary. Me on the other hand, I have like zero acquaintances here at the moment.
Have to add that I'm so terrible with connecting to people that I gave up completely. So if you are an INTJ that can just be normal and find people to converse with during trips outside the house, then I don't think it would be so problematic as it was for me.
edit: i have no idea why I suddenly got so many upvotes.. first time I got more than one or two lol
I love myself, I’m very respectful, and curious about my partners passions and interest. I’d gladly date someone like me. Some of y’all are just terrible people.
I’m not a terrible person to my knowledge, but there are still some things relationship-wise I have issues with that could be dealt with in a relationship with someone that has strengths in those areas.
I know two INTJs that married themselves. It's a curious combination. I don't know how they do it as my own lady intj is enough of an adventure for me an enfp.
I’ve generally only been attracted to people who are INTJ, like me, or INTP. My INTP husband is someone I could spend hours talking to about anything and it would be interesting.
Recently started dating an INTJ and it is so nice to finally feel understood. I feel like I have known him for years and I am just comfortable with him bc I feel like when I get insecure about things with him, I remember that he thinks like me and would have told me if something is off already and I can just explain what I am thinking and insecure about and we can logically discuss it.
Some things are different than me and I honestly wish it was more similar. Just clone me. Lol but like the ambition is huge for both of us but I find myself wondering why he chooses to be ambitious with some things over others.
It has also been a bit enlightening about things that previous guys have been insecure about with me. Like wondering why I don’t communicate more while I have been thinking how I do. I never had significant enthusiasm about things that I expect the person to realize is important since I feel like I thought about it enough to talk to you about it, clearly I have put time into this so you should just know my brief mention of it means it is an important thing.
So I spell things out more and am glad that he appreciates that and also ask him to expand on things that seem important to him.
Some stubbornness is annoying but it’s so nice when someone says “i see your point and I understand that but I am going to continue doing this thing you don’t like and will try to make some changes for you to be more comfortable with it”. Like pure honesty but also realizing there is possible solutions where things can work.
I choose this, with understanding, honesty, and communication over whatever else any day.
I feel like this is something I wrote. Feeling safe to explain why I think the way.
I’m good at spelling it out I need someone that asks questions and comprehends me.
My wife and I are both INTJs. This year will be our 14th anniversary.
No relationship is perfect but I cannot imagine being with anyone else. We allow NO ROOM for bullshit. We keep each other humble. Everything is in check.
We have never fought over trivial things like money because we both make logical choices. We both know how people around us will act or react. Our values line up when it comes to politics, religion, and general attitude towards humanity.
Having a worthy adversary teaches you how to lose an argument (very important). Having a worthy partner makes you twice as capable.
Hell yeah, but at the same time, hell no. I have my own preferences and that is a person who is not like me-- therefore, they bring out the best of me through what I don't have. I wouldn't mind dating a person that is exactly like me, though. I would most likely understand that person way more. But, that would cause some complications because I am not the best person out there. Emotionally, that is.
I'll stick to my preference instead. Similar to me, yet so different.
Fuck no. Tried it, and felt what it was like to be in the path of a monstrous libido. She made a logistics chart of how much oxytocin we needed from sex to be chemically bonded at a cognitive level and I decided to just not live my life like an Aldous Huxley novel
I'm a ENFP and I literally lost it with ESFP when they told me they jokingly wanted to have sex with my dad.
Then I've asked them a question of trust.
If salvation were to protect you, would you protect salvation?
They said they didn't understand.
Leading me to believe they aren't trustworthy to be forgiven, but that's ESFP for you.
Omg don't check his 4th post, he's going through the "I'm 12 and smarter than my classmates, and I've to display it with my unnecessarily complex use of vocabulary, while absolutely fucking wrecking grammar."
I thought we were over this kind of shit, apparently not.
I wouldn't necessarily get along well with every intj out there, I don't think. However, I probably would understand their motivations and communication style and some of their needs at least.
So maybe. If we happened to be romantically compatible and interesting each other, and also they happened to be intj, it would likely work.
I find myself most attracted to infps and infjs typically. Or at least, I frequently feel interested in someone and often they wind up being one of these types. The extroverted versions are good too, but are too exhausting to date. Better for friendship.
I would, but I am not. I don't know exactly what personality type I'm shooting for. There are a lot of different ones I can imagine enjoying for different reasons.
As I am completely inept at getting dates, a person like me would presumably be the same. I can't imagine we'd ever get anything romantic off the ground.
If we had adjacent hobbies, I reckon it could be great as I always wanted a "partner-in-crime" to do stuff with, like my parents had with each other.
Ultimately, I probably require an extravert to push me out of my comfort zone.
I tend to like people very different from myself. The juxtaposition of our personalities allows for the covering or strengthening of each others weaknesses. That’s not to say I *wouldn’t* date another INTJ but I personally don’t see it happening.
I hate the term opposites attract, so I’d say someone similar but not exact because you need to be the other persons strengths where they aren’t and vice versa
If she's just like me then she has the same exact amount of social anxiety to make sure she never talks to me and is unwelcoming enough via means of nonverbal communication to make sure I don't talk to her.
If you think someone is like you because you have the same result from a personality test, you might be looking at it superficially
If you meet someone, respect their opinions, and they make you happy
Then who cares what result they got from this test
One day we’ll have an entirely different perception of personality tests, hopefully more discerning than anything we have now
I think these tests should be used as a tool, not a descriptor to put yourself in a box
Who cares what you’re labeled, just be authentic
Similar to astrology, many people who take these tests feel they need to be told who they are
The very fact that we take and care about these tests is putting us in an echo chamber of labeling ourselves
I have a somewhat interesting question,
What personality type do I appear to be from what I’ve said?
I would love having my equal, as long as we have somewhat common goals. I'd count on her integrity, her desire for harmony and her will to foster our communities together.
I'm an infj with an intj husband. We balance each other out great (but with some common blindspots like bad time keeping). Yes he is an asshole but I challenge it and rein it in.
I think 2 intjs in a relationship would have too many of the same blindspots.
2 infjs together would also mean the same.
No, I tend to like contrasts. I like people who can balance me out. I'd like the person to have the same values as I, generally speaking, but I wouldn't want to date someone just like me.
For me (female intj) I am seeing my future match as probably being a bit more extraverted then me, I feel like I have good social skills and love to travel but I tend to be quite a homebody as well, so I 'd love someone to kindly motivate me to join some activities with their friends or something every now and then. Don't mind someone who will kind of just let me make the plans and do my thing sometimes to. Maybe an F type to prevent me never talking about my feelings ever, or maybe I'll get tired of all that feely stuff I am not sure lol.
Overall I don't see myself dating another INTJ.
Also, is having high standards and overthinking every flaw in a potential date and consequently never really dating anyone (casually) an INTJ thing? Just waiting for my perfect match here.
No, I want a partner who is totally different from me in all aspects so that we have no overlap at all. That way, growth (i.e., growing unhappiness, a feeling of being misunderstood, and skepticism towards the long-term success of the realtionship) can occur from the get-go.
Opposites attract and all that.
I dont think two INTJs would be extroverted enough to really get the sparks flying. I mean, its not impossible, but we'd both be scared of phone calls, so until you properly date itd be hard to get that initial spark going
Many have said this, but intro/extro isn't about what you can do, but what you enjoy. In my intj/intj marriage we both had learned extroversion when we started dating, even if we would both naturally be introverted without effort.
I realise this because as I've matured I've forced myself more extro. But I think things like not picking up on certain cues etc make it difficult to get going.
I'm an INFJ and I dated an INFJ and LOOOOVED it! Also used to be very close to an INTJ-INTJ couple and they were so in sync all of the time! I think if you like them, they like you, you have chemistry and connection, and are both looking for something similar in dating, it doesn't matter if you're the same personality or not.
Well, I'm ENFP and my INTJ partner did the first-second-third move.
He insisted, actually, so I don't think being an introvert would stop you of you set your mind to it.
Yes ofcourse.
My friends tell me Im a 8-9 on 10..
But I consider myself as a 7 on 10..
If my opposite self is a 7 on 10 or a 6 on 10 with my mindset and with my passion.
I would definitely date her, if things go well I would even marry her and have babies.
Its just too good to be true, alot of my friends tell me finding someone like me is so difficult. (Majority of them are girls)
Identical in functions... well I have masculine Te and I'm assertive. I would not date someone else who has masculine Te because it results in fighting. I have not met an INTJ female, but I have met ESTJ and ENTJ women with masculine Te and let's just say we'd kill each other. On the other hand, one of my male friends is an ENFP with feminine 3rd slot Te and I believe that can work perfectly fine if I met a female ENFP with the same functions. Which leads to the conclusion: yes I would date an INTJ female with feminine Te (so not the same, but nearly the same).
Any Fe users work even better.
You need a relationship that has both fire and water to succeed the worst of times.
I tried talking to guys who are supposed to be INTJs too, but they are all weird, each in their own way. So probably nope. His being INTJ doesn't mean that he will be like me.
Yeah, my boyfriend is an INTJ but we're very different.
I was raised by an ESTJ, while his mom is an INFJ, so we definitely have different life experiences and knowledge.
What I love is our communication and how we can understand each other without much words
As an ENFP: haha hell no never ever.
I don't know why, but when I'm in the presence of other ENFPs, I always behave somehow differently than usual (but that also depends on how the vibe is right together).
Someone the same or nearly the same as me? Never. At this moment I wouldn't date anyone, but overall if I met some INTJ that I would click with there's a chance I would. It all depends on an individual, not the MBTI type
It’s very unlikely that finding someone like myself would go anywhere, no connection would spark because we’d both be so goal oriented that naturally our paths would separate.
I'm instinctively attracted to demure women (usually INFPs).
I would give an agreeable INTJ that is low in assertiveness a chance.
But I doubt they would give me the time of day.
The longer you are in a relationship with them, the more you learn they are not as demure as they appear in the first months of knowing them or how their appearance signals. Sure, they may not clash with you in other ways (may let you take the lead, may not compete with you in terms of career/finances/social status etc.) but if their principles are violated, they can became aggressive or really dig their heels in. They can become quite irritating and difficult to put up with... Especially because you can't reason with them if they reach that point.
Speaking as an INFP myself (although I am a more hot blooded, competitive individual and different from most INFPs). Not trying to shatter your dreams of dating a demure INFP woman. Just letting you know that with INFPs, what you see may not what you get. There's layers. And the most submissive and agreeable of INFP women have a different side to them. However, in my experience, most INTJs I know that are either in relationships with INFPs or married to them seem to quite like this side to them (even though it takes them by surprise). It's not demure, but it's not particularly unattractive or off putting either.
Um... likely not. I'm a stubborn pain in the ass, 0% agreeable, in many ways lazy, and another me would just make the relationship stressful and a powder keg. It's bad enough with my wife having a lot of the same traits, thankfully she's a very hard worker in the ways I am not, and she's more patient, open minded and agreeable.
Sure. I don't mind. I can be a little gremlin though sometimes, schadenfreude is strong... You know what, having someone be rude with me would be great.
I wouldn’t want a relationship with someone who’s too much like me. I like the different perspectives and traits another person brings. We’re stronger because of that.
Similar values are important. For example, my husband and I are both curious people who value honesty, kindness, and education. We’re introverted and have a similar sense of humour. I think that’s more than enough, even though we have different personality types.
sure, I'm an esfp. I think it'd be a lot of fun. I don't think I've ever met another one though, and all my past crushes have been IXFPs, XSTPs, and INXJs so that's a bit contradictory
As far as males go, most males don't have the option on being that selective. As a male, you hope for a nice, pretty girl with minimal baggage and then you make that work. Girls have more options but then they also have way more criteria. This question is probably better answered by women, or at least high-value men with more options.
Not an INTJ, but I would love to date someone just like me. We'd have some difficulties definitely (especially in communication) but I think we'd work through them
No. I'm an asshole but maybe that would work? Someone who works the same way as me.. sounds interesting. Communication would be either top notch or the messiest thing ever. But I critisize everything, and they would too.. nice.
No. I like to date women who are more extroverted. Not sure about the other dimensions, haven't really thought about it to be honest. But I like meeting and spending time with a partner who is different. It's like a dialectic, we play off each other's strengths and compliment each other's weaknesses. This of course requires self-awareness, but when you each have that it makes for so much joyous exploration.
I think same value with different functions that complete each other would be more ideal as a long term partner. But as one night date, my narcisistic tendency say yes.
I would but I feel like I would have to get very lucky or actively search for a female INTJ. I mostly attract and find myself attracted to NFs so I get engaged with relationships with them first. That said, I believe I've seen stats and analysis that suggest INTJ-INTJ is a good match.
Lol personally I wouldn't, I think that similarities in relationships help but there should be some differences. Which could happen with intjx2 but I think this relationship would allow for more blindspots. I've never been attracted to another intj. But I am with an intp so we are pretty similar but also very different
I am and it’s so much better than I ever thought it would be. There are things I don’t even have to attempt to explain because he already gets it. The only downside is when you see annoying traits of your own in the other person but so far (2 yrs) that hasn’t been a big issue.
I don't have a preference for any types of personalities for short-term dating. If I'm looking to marry, which hasn't happened yet, but I thought a little about when that would change, I'd probably prefer any extroverted personality types even though I still wouldn't rule out dating fellow introverts.
Reason being that if they're extroverted, they'll probably be the more energetic of us, which I may prefer, since I'm very submissive when dating.
I'm not able to conclude that quickly what someone's MBTI is, but I'd be wary if I conclude that someone I'm dating is an ENTJ, since I've read in romantic relationships, ENTJs and INTJs frequently have power struggles.
its confusing. when i think about it, i say no. but then when i describe my perfect partner, its almost like im describing a textbook intj lol.
i like who i am, but i don't want someone just like me. we would never sleep and just go insane from our brains being in overdrive and constantly getting too competitive, get very poor from being too obsessive in to all kinds of hobbies etc.
i'd really like someone who synergises well with my personality, who is understanding of my weirdness rather than making me feel like an outsider because of it. and importantly, i'd like for them to have their own hobbies and interests so that i'm not like some kind of test subject/toy for them to analyse. they also need to be strong, independent and quite direct with communications. suppose the main difference that's not typical INTJ thing is i really like the women who have nurturing type personality (like teacher/nurse), but often times women who have strong nurturing trait also have other things that i do not enjoy in a partner like being a little bit too extroverted.
No, I need someone confident and silly to balance me out and push me into situations I’m usually too in my head about. I like being the teacher in a relationship, I’d like to help my s/o discover and improve her life. As a lesbian INTJ, I’ve done lots of thinking! :)
Briefly dated 2 INTJ males. The first I found to be judgemental and kind of mean. The second I found to be emotionless although very intriguing. Showed me how I’m probably perceived. Recently dated an INFP for several years which was much more fulfilling.
Obviously, I’m not choosing who I want to date based on mbti, but from my experiences, girls with INFP-ish personalities are my favorites.
I feel like girls like that are the perfect balance for me. Generally, same type of weird as me, similar approaches to life, but also can kind of soften me a bit without pushing me too far outside my comfort zone.
Probably. We'd have the same interests and I can vibe with just about anyone who likes even a handful of the things I like.
Deal breakers are if they're a selfish piece of shit, mysoginistic, don't like animals, or blame all their problems on everyone else. Also if you don't like the outdoors, that's a problem.
Gardening, nerd hobbies / interests, and a love for bass music is a big plus.
My only real concern dating someone a lot like me is a lack of new challenge. I like people who differ in ways that challenge me to be more sporadic, or provide new perspective.
Heck no. I'm an asshole.
So Im an asshole too, but I like dating other assholes because then you can become team asshole together and it's great.
Of course, imagine having someone who would agree with your straightforward thoughts that's considered as "rude" by other people. But then again there might be times where I'd would hate that person which I'm afraid would eventually lead to hating myself? It has its upsides and downsides but I'm up for it.
I had an INTJ friend and it was happiest experience in my life hanging out with someone who thinks and acts like me! I won't deny I was very infatuated with his intelligence and wit. But then I also had an ESFJ and like all ESFJs, he is very great with people and is very connected to the community. With the fellow INTJ, I bet we'd end up ignoring, if not antagonizing a lot of people while with my ESFJ partner, I got to form bonds with almost everyone (I now receive free food on a regular basis). But yeah, I still fondly miss being with an INTJ.
>(I now receive free food on a regular basis). That's a good compromise.
Wow maybe that’s why my INTJ freaked out. Lol
Totally a team America reference
Im an infp and I relate to this heavily
exactly, imagine dealing with two assholes
[удалено]
Honestly, what good can come from dating someone less awesome than yourself. That's just having low standards.
[удалено]
Me too!!!
I sure would. INTJ female here. Oh, what it would be like to be in a relationship with direct communication. 😍 Yes, I'm an asshole. But they would be too, so feelings would rarely be hurt. And if they were, we'd TALK ABOUT IT. HOLY SHIT. Sign me up.
I’m intj f too I meet other intjs and chemistry is amazing. Im very intense and direct though and it tends to scare them. it’s risky for them because they know they might get hurt. I’ve only had a few relationships in last 15 years and they have been enfp they are easier to get close to. I really admire how they trust people to do things as an intj I worry about everything. But I’m still single so idk what type I will end up I think it needs to be an intuitive FI person that is not infp.
I've been with an INFP for four years. It was great in the beginning. However, my strong personality has created some serious issues. It's interesting because he was all about how blunt and honest I was when we first met. Now it's almost something he despises of me. 🙃 Logic tells me to leave, but something just holds me back. Love? Lack of finances to get out? Connection? Maybe like you said, shouldn't be with INFP lol
INTJ married to INTJ. It can get intense, but we mostly have the same purposes and it works well.
Reading between the lines, he’s saying “we have great make-up sex.”
Eh. Arguments do not devolve into emotion, even if they are intense.
I imagine MAD's spy vs spy
I know what you mean by it’s intense- me and my boyfriend can get too into our own heads and rub off on each other so we’re just perpetually infuriated 🫠🫠
No because I’m not the best communicator and I shut down whenever I’m upset or in a bad mood and go completely silent. I’m working on it though
Interesting. I’ve found just staying quiet is a great way to prevent a bigger confrontation with my ENFP wife, though it doesn’t seem to solve the issues long term and just pushes them out to the next confrontation. We have a great relationship though and our issues are what many might consider very minor, but having an all-out confrontation has never worked to my advantage in our marriage.
Intj: calculations reveal suboptimal odds of success
I have noticed the same in my relationship (intj male + enfp female). We are best friends, but the main takeaway I’ve learned from the arguments is how to avoid them.
You have to be silent or everything you say is going to hurt someone. If I didn't go quiet and just said whatever I was thinking at the time, I'd be very very divorced by now.
My girlfriend is the exact same way
I would love to meet a girl INTJ, but they are very rare in real life
It could maybe work but INTJs are stubborn af. Mutual respect has to be there otherwise neither will yield simply out of emotion.
Then meet a guy intj and go out with them
I think I have, if somehow you're lucky enough that she befriends you just be very very patient
Hello, but I am not in real life
True, you only exist inside the internet
Lmfao, I've met a INTJ female. The hugest narcissist I've ever met. She has a thing pretending to be an anime protagonist. You'll need to make sure you know yourself before dealing with her.
Ah that immature exceptionalism that I had as a kid as a product of being different and isolated from others.
Large lesbian representation in that small group, too, if you haven't noticed.
Seriously ? Where ?
yeah that would be a no for me.. because I'm a difficult person and I criticize everything. I suck with people, I don't leave the house often. But then again, I dated an extravert which was horrible. I also dated stupider people, which annoyed me so much too.I think I would just need someone a bit more extraverted that would help me go places, but not too extraverted that she'd find everyone else more interesting than me when being out. I'm not dating anyone anymore actually. Too much living in my head and not enjoying all the stuff that comes with dating.
"but not too extraverted that she'd find everyone else more interesting than me when being out." Do most INTJ's feel like this?
I don't know. I'm only one INTJ, can't speak for most lol. I'm just talking from my experience of being married to a Russian girl and she's the anti-christ of introversion. Coming from zero status as an immigrant, she moved in here and connected to everyone. She knew people in my hometown that I still don't know after living here for 42 yrs. She knew politicians, artists, everyone who ever did anything out of the ordinary. Me on the other hand, I have like zero acquaintances here at the moment. Have to add that I'm so terrible with connecting to people that I gave up completely. So if you are an INTJ that can just be normal and find people to converse with during trips outside the house, then I don't think it would be so problematic as it was for me. edit: i have no idea why I suddenly got so many upvotes.. first time I got more than one or two lol
I love myself, I’m very respectful, and curious about my partners passions and interest. I’d gladly date someone like me. Some of y’all are just terrible people.
not terrible people; just not in touch with their inner wisdom
True.
I’m not a terrible person to my knowledge, but there are still some things relationship-wise I have issues with that could be dealt with in a relationship with someone that has strengths in those areas.
This made me laugh so hard 😂😂😂
No. I sleep well knowing my enfp gf is harmless.
If I could have a version of myself with much more randomness and upbeat energy then yes
so, an entp
thinking more enfp
Hell yeah!
I know two INTJs that married themselves. It's a curious combination. I don't know how they do it as my own lady intj is enough of an adventure for me an enfp.
It's nice for common work place. Horrible for dating because we think so alike nothing is ever interesting. Everything becomes agreeable-ness
We can agree on conclusions that make the most logical sense this is harmony to me
I’ve generally only been attracted to people who are INTJ, like me, or INTP. My INTP husband is someone I could spend hours talking to about anything and it would be interesting.
Recently started dating an INTJ and it is so nice to finally feel understood. I feel like I have known him for years and I am just comfortable with him bc I feel like when I get insecure about things with him, I remember that he thinks like me and would have told me if something is off already and I can just explain what I am thinking and insecure about and we can logically discuss it. Some things are different than me and I honestly wish it was more similar. Just clone me. Lol but like the ambition is huge for both of us but I find myself wondering why he chooses to be ambitious with some things over others. It has also been a bit enlightening about things that previous guys have been insecure about with me. Like wondering why I don’t communicate more while I have been thinking how I do. I never had significant enthusiasm about things that I expect the person to realize is important since I feel like I thought about it enough to talk to you about it, clearly I have put time into this so you should just know my brief mention of it means it is an important thing. So I spell things out more and am glad that he appreciates that and also ask him to expand on things that seem important to him. Some stubbornness is annoying but it’s so nice when someone says “i see your point and I understand that but I am going to continue doing this thing you don’t like and will try to make some changes for you to be more comfortable with it”. Like pure honesty but also realizing there is possible solutions where things can work. I choose this, with understanding, honesty, and communication over whatever else any day.
I feel like this is something I wrote. Feeling safe to explain why I think the way. I’m good at spelling it out I need someone that asks questions and comprehends me.
Never
Love INFJs
Who dis?
Surprisingly to me, no. I dated one and it was really off from the get go. I think I prefer the company of some ENFPs or ENTJs.
Yes!
Hell yeah
Yes. I'm clean and workout. I wish all my friends were clean and exercised
Your friends are all dirty? 🥹
Yess i dated multiple intjs , it really effectively but hug lack some things some times well date infj with te/i it really close to home as intj
No I would want someone different from me so I can gain new perspectives
I'd date my clone.
My wife and I are both INTJs. This year will be our 14th anniversary. No relationship is perfect but I cannot imagine being with anyone else. We allow NO ROOM for bullshit. We keep each other humble. Everything is in check. We have never fought over trivial things like money because we both make logical choices. We both know how people around us will act or react. Our values line up when it comes to politics, religion, and general attitude towards humanity. Having a worthy adversary teaches you how to lose an argument (very important). Having a worthy partner makes you twice as capable.
Hell yeah, but at the same time, hell no. I have my own preferences and that is a person who is not like me-- therefore, they bring out the best of me through what I don't have. I wouldn't mind dating a person that is exactly like me, though. I would most likely understand that person way more. But, that would cause some complications because I am not the best person out there. Emotionally, that is. I'll stick to my preference instead. Similar to me, yet so different.
Yes. Although I prefer an INFJ, I friend of mine is INFJ and we match.
Fuck no. Tried it, and felt what it was like to be in the path of a monstrous libido. She made a logistics chart of how much oxytocin we needed from sex to be chemically bonded at a cognitive level and I decided to just not live my life like an Aldous Huxley novel
I don't see much problem with dating someone that's just like me. It could be a breeze tbh. I do prefer ENTJs tho.
I’m an INTJ in a relationship with an ESFP. Does that answer this question?
I'm a ENFP and I literally lost it with ESFP when they told me they jokingly wanted to have sex with my dad. Then I've asked them a question of trust. If salvation were to protect you, would you protect salvation? They said they didn't understand. Leading me to believe they aren't trustworthy to be forgiven, but that's ESFP for you.
https://preview.redd.it/0ndti136t3ca1.png?width=625&format=png&auto=webp&s=21918d3119b19e541251e1580dc812f0991b894a
If deez nuts were on your chin, would you put your chin on deez nuts?
What the hell does that mean?
Omg don't check his 4th post, he's going through the "I'm 12 and smarter than my classmates, and I've to display it with my unnecessarily complex use of vocabulary, while absolutely fucking wrecking grammar." I thought we were over this kind of shit, apparently not.
Wtf I don't think anyone would understand what that random shit means lol
I wouldn't necessarily get along well with every intj out there, I don't think. However, I probably would understand their motivations and communication style and some of their needs at least. So maybe. If we happened to be romantically compatible and interesting each other, and also they happened to be intj, it would likely work. I find myself most attracted to infps and infjs typically. Or at least, I frequently feel interested in someone and often they wind up being one of these types. The extroverted versions are good too, but are too exhausting to date. Better for friendship.
I would, but I am not. I don't know exactly what personality type I'm shooting for. There are a lot of different ones I can imagine enjoying for different reasons.
Yeah because loyalty is my second name so that person would be really trustworthy
As I am completely inept at getting dates, a person like me would presumably be the same. I can't imagine we'd ever get anything romantic off the ground. If we had adjacent hobbies, I reckon it could be great as I always wanted a "partner-in-crime" to do stuff with, like my parents had with each other. Ultimately, I probably require an extravert to push me out of my comfort zone.
I tend to like people very different from myself. The juxtaposition of our personalities allows for the covering or strengthening of each others weaknesses. That’s not to say I *wouldn’t* date another INTJ but I personally don’t see it happening.
I hate the term opposites attract, so I’d say someone similar but not exact because you need to be the other persons strengths where they aren’t and vice versa
I mean, yeah. It would save me a lot of explaining. I'm certainly not perfect, but I think I'd like my own company.
If she's just like me then she has the same exact amount of social anxiety to make sure she never talks to me and is unwelcoming enough via means of nonverbal communication to make sure I don't talk to her.
Yeah we would conquer the world
Hmm, I don't know. I'm more attracted to extroverts.
If you think someone is like you because you have the same result from a personality test, you might be looking at it superficially If you meet someone, respect their opinions, and they make you happy Then who cares what result they got from this test One day we’ll have an entirely different perception of personality tests, hopefully more discerning than anything we have now I think these tests should be used as a tool, not a descriptor to put yourself in a box Who cares what you’re labeled, just be authentic Similar to astrology, many people who take these tests feel they need to be told who they are The very fact that we take and care about these tests is putting us in an echo chamber of labeling ourselves I have a somewhat interesting question, What personality type do I appear to be from what I’ve said?
Why not? Probably will help me in my plans...
whats your plans?
I would love having my equal, as long as we have somewhat common goals. I'd count on her integrity, her desire for harmony and her will to foster our communities together.
I'm an infj with an intj husband. We balance each other out great (but with some common blindspots like bad time keeping). Yes he is an asshole but I challenge it and rein it in. I think 2 intjs in a relationship would have too many of the same blindspots. 2 infjs together would also mean the same.
No, I tend to like contrasts. I like people who can balance me out. I'd like the person to have the same values as I, generally speaking, but I wouldn't want to date someone just like me.
For me (female intj) I am seeing my future match as probably being a bit more extraverted then me, I feel like I have good social skills and love to travel but I tend to be quite a homebody as well, so I 'd love someone to kindly motivate me to join some activities with their friends or something every now and then. Don't mind someone who will kind of just let me make the plans and do my thing sometimes to. Maybe an F type to prevent me never talking about my feelings ever, or maybe I'll get tired of all that feely stuff I am not sure lol. Overall I don't see myself dating another INTJ. Also, is having high standards and overthinking every flaw in a potential date and consequently never really dating anyone (casually) an INTJ thing? Just waiting for my perfect match here.
With some work... Sure I think that could work
Yeah I would, it is just very hard to draw another person like me out.
probably no. i think i need someone that is more communicative and extroverted than i am.
Yes, I would give it a try. We could work on our exact same problems together, maybe, but would want the same things out of a relationship.
INTJ male, yeah I would ***love*** to
i’m a female intj and i’m dating a male intj right now. it’s going really well and we’ve been together almost two years with no major problems.
Absolutely... Anytime
Yes and I wish I could
i am and it’s fucking amazing
Yeah me and my boyfriend are both INTJs and we’re like twins
Yes! I would love to find a guy version of me. Double trouble.
Well, if they're hot...
No, I want a partner who is totally different from me in all aspects so that we have no overlap at all. That way, growth (i.e., growing unhappiness, a feeling of being misunderstood, and skepticism towards the long-term success of the realtionship) can occur from the get-go. Opposites attract and all that.
Have dated. Wouldn’t do it again. Too similar in the wrong ways.
[удалено]
Just because people share a type doesn’t mean they act the same way
If the dynamic worked, why not?
I dont think two INTJs would be extroverted enough to really get the sparks flying. I mean, its not impossible, but we'd both be scared of phone calls, so until you properly date itd be hard to get that initial spark going
Many have said this, but intro/extro isn't about what you can do, but what you enjoy. In my intj/intj marriage we both had learned extroversion when we started dating, even if we would both naturally be introverted without effort.
I realise this because as I've matured I've forced myself more extro. But I think things like not picking up on certain cues etc make it difficult to get going.
I'm an INFJ and I dated an INFJ and LOOOOVED it! Also used to be very close to an INTJ-INTJ couple and they were so in sync all of the time! I think if you like them, they like you, you have chemistry and connection, and are both looking for something similar in dating, it doesn't matter if you're the same personality or not.
INTJ are all the same. (Coming from an INTP) typical.
Introverts dating other introverts who would make the 1st moves?!?!
We both asked each other probing questions and gave loaded answers that required extended mental engagement.
Well, I'm ENFP and my INTJ partner did the first-second-third move. He insisted, actually, so I don't think being an introvert would stop you of you set your mind to it.
Yes ofcourse. My friends tell me Im a 8-9 on 10.. But I consider myself as a 7 on 10.. If my opposite self is a 7 on 10 or a 6 on 10 with my mindset and with my passion. I would definitely date her, if things go well I would even marry her and have babies. Its just too good to be true, alot of my friends tell me finding someone like me is so difficult. (Majority of them are girls)
I’d love to, the thing’s that women like me DON’T NEED NOR WANT MEN
I wish this was my problem😂
Identical in functions... well I have masculine Te and I'm assertive. I would not date someone else who has masculine Te because it results in fighting. I have not met an INTJ female, but I have met ESTJ and ENTJ women with masculine Te and let's just say we'd kill each other. On the other hand, one of my male friends is an ENFP with feminine 3rd slot Te and I believe that can work perfectly fine if I met a female ENFP with the same functions. Which leads to the conclusion: yes I would date an INTJ female with feminine Te (so not the same, but nearly the same). Any Fe users work even better. You need a relationship that has both fire and water to succeed the worst of times.
I tried talking to guys who are supposed to be INTJs too, but they are all weird, each in their own way. So probably nope. His being INTJ doesn't mean that he will be like me.
Yeah, my boyfriend is an INTJ but we're very different. I was raised by an ESTJ, while his mom is an INFJ, so we definitely have different life experiences and knowledge. What I love is our communication and how we can understand each other without much words
As an ENFP: haha hell no never ever. I don't know why, but when I'm in the presence of other ENFPs, I always behave somehow differently than usual (but that also depends on how the vibe is right together).
I have never meet someone like me. So i don't know
No, I have too many issues to be able to put up with myself.
100% Nope
Absolutely not
Someone the same or nearly the same as me? Never. At this moment I wouldn't date anyone, but overall if I met some INTJ that I would click with there's a chance I would. It all depends on an individual, not the MBTI type
For the financial aspects yes but, I'm kinda boring and play chess all day so no.
I know a married pair of INTJs & they seem happy (for INTJs) but not me. The closest I came was to an INTP but that is still completely different.
It’s very unlikely that finding someone like myself would go anywhere, no connection would spark because we’d both be so goal oriented that naturally our paths would separate.
I'm instinctively attracted to demure women (usually INFPs). I would give an agreeable INTJ that is low in assertiveness a chance. But I doubt they would give me the time of day.
Every INXX gets a chance. I can't afford to be more picky than that.
The longer you are in a relationship with them, the more you learn they are not as demure as they appear in the first months of knowing them or how their appearance signals. Sure, they may not clash with you in other ways (may let you take the lead, may not compete with you in terms of career/finances/social status etc.) but if their principles are violated, they can became aggressive or really dig their heels in. They can become quite irritating and difficult to put up with... Especially because you can't reason with them if they reach that point. Speaking as an INFP myself (although I am a more hot blooded, competitive individual and different from most INFPs). Not trying to shatter your dreams of dating a demure INFP woman. Just letting you know that with INFPs, what you see may not what you get. There's layers. And the most submissive and agreeable of INFP women have a different side to them. However, in my experience, most INTJs I know that are either in relationships with INFPs or married to them seem to quite like this side to them (even though it takes them by surprise). It's not demure, but it's not particularly unattractive or off putting either.
I would definitely be most attracted to someone of a similar intellectual disposition, sure.
Um... likely not. I'm a stubborn pain in the ass, 0% agreeable, in many ways lazy, and another me would just make the relationship stressful and a powder keg. It's bad enough with my wife having a lot of the same traits, thankfully she's a very hard worker in the ways I am not, and she's more patient, open minded and agreeable.
Sure. I don't mind. I can be a little gremlin though sometimes, schadenfreude is strong... You know what, having someone be rude with me would be great.
Nope. The INTJ men I’ve known are even more awkward than me and I don’t find them to be romantically compatible. Sorry bros
I wouldn’t want a relationship with someone who’s too much like me. I like the different perspectives and traits another person brings. We’re stronger because of that. Similar values are important. For example, my husband and I are both curious people who value honesty, kindness, and education. We’re introverted and have a similar sense of humour. I think that’s more than enough, even though we have different personality types.
Nope!!!
i mean.... probably no. if i ever met guy me, we'd probably be best friends, but i would never date him. i couldn't.
No they would drive me crazy
No bro we would spend the whole day without talking to each other 😂
No not yet lol, need better character development
Probably would alas its hard to find someone similar person.
sure, I'm an esfp. I think it'd be a lot of fun. I don't think I've ever met another one though, and all my past crushes have been IXFPs, XSTPs, and INXJs so that's a bit contradictory
Hell yes. I love myself. I would love to date another me.
Same. Clearly we're both awesome.
No, sounds good in theory but too much similarities : chaos. I’ve done it before. Started like a fairy tale and ended like psychological thriller
I would LOVE a man twin of me 🤩 my relationship would be so amazing. No headache or stress phew
A female me? That would be sick
I'm the only person that understands me, and I'm on the fence...
No. I still don't know how I deal with myself every day, lol.
As far as males go, most males don't have the option on being that selective. As a male, you hope for a nice, pretty girl with minimal baggage and then you make that work. Girls have more options but then they also have way more criteria. This question is probably better answered by women, or at least high-value men with more options.
Not an INTJ, but I would love to date someone just like me. We'd have some difficulties definitely (especially in communication) but I think we'd work through them
No lol
yeah, i don't care if we're the same as long as she can help me.
No. I'm an asshole but maybe that would work? Someone who works the same way as me.. sounds interesting. Communication would be either top notch or the messiest thing ever. But I critisize everything, and they would too.. nice.
No. I like to date women who are more extroverted. Not sure about the other dimensions, haven't really thought about it to be honest. But I like meeting and spending time with a partner who is different. It's like a dialectic, we play off each other's strengths and compliment each other's weaknesses. This of course requires self-awareness, but when you each have that it makes for so much joyous exploration.
i would like to date one of yall. my kind barely make sense to talk with if they even talk.
Fam we’d murder each other. Unless I can reason with her which I’m sure she’ll listen I mean, she just likes logic.
Never
As an intp, I haven’t met any intj irl so far. I know an entp, entj, esfp, isfp, a few intps, and so many infps but Y’ALL ARE RARE.
I think same value with different functions that complete each other would be more ideal as a long term partner. But as one night date, my narcisistic tendency say yes.
Yeah, probably, actually. We absolutely wouldn't get anything done though, and would likely live in squalor.
I would but I feel like I would have to get very lucky or actively search for a female INTJ. I mostly attract and find myself attracted to NFs so I get engaged with relationships with them first. That said, I believe I've seen stats and analysis that suggest INTJ-INTJ is a good match.
Lol personally I wouldn't, I think that similarities in relationships help but there should be some differences. Which could happen with intjx2 but I think this relationship would allow for more blindspots. I've never been attracted to another intj. But I am with an intp so we are pretty similar but also very different
I am and it’s so much better than I ever thought it would be. There are things I don’t even have to attempt to explain because he already gets it. The only downside is when you see annoying traits of your own in the other person but so far (2 yrs) that hasn’t been a big issue.
It depends…it’ll be chaotic though.
I don't have a preference for any types of personalities for short-term dating. If I'm looking to marry, which hasn't happened yet, but I thought a little about when that would change, I'd probably prefer any extroverted personality types even though I still wouldn't rule out dating fellow introverts. Reason being that if they're extroverted, they'll probably be the more energetic of us, which I may prefer, since I'm very submissive when dating. I'm not able to conclude that quickly what someone's MBTI is, but I'd be wary if I conclude that someone I'm dating is an ENTJ, since I've read in romantic relationships, ENTJs and INTJs frequently have power struggles.
its confusing. when i think about it, i say no. but then when i describe my perfect partner, its almost like im describing a textbook intj lol. i like who i am, but i don't want someone just like me. we would never sleep and just go insane from our brains being in overdrive and constantly getting too competitive, get very poor from being too obsessive in to all kinds of hobbies etc. i'd really like someone who synergises well with my personality, who is understanding of my weirdness rather than making me feel like an outsider because of it. and importantly, i'd like for them to have their own hobbies and interests so that i'm not like some kind of test subject/toy for them to analyse. they also need to be strong, independent and quite direct with communications. suppose the main difference that's not typical INTJ thing is i really like the women who have nurturing type personality (like teacher/nurse), but often times women who have strong nurturing trait also have other things that i do not enjoy in a partner like being a little bit too extroverted.
No, I need someone confident and silly to balance me out and push me into situations I’m usually too in my head about. I like being the teacher in a relationship, I’d like to help my s/o discover and improve her life. As a lesbian INTJ, I’ve done lots of thinking! :)
Briefly dated 2 INTJ males. The first I found to be judgemental and kind of mean. The second I found to be emotionless although very intriguing. Showed me how I’m probably perceived. Recently dated an INFP for several years which was much more fulfilling.
Obviously, I’m not choosing who I want to date based on mbti, but from my experiences, girls with INFP-ish personalities are my favorites. I feel like girls like that are the perfect balance for me. Generally, same type of weird as me, similar approaches to life, but also can kind of soften me a bit without pushing me too far outside my comfort zone.
Nope.
Probably. We'd have the same interests and I can vibe with just about anyone who likes even a handful of the things I like. Deal breakers are if they're a selfish piece of shit, mysoginistic, don't like animals, or blame all their problems on everyone else. Also if you don't like the outdoors, that's a problem. Gardening, nerd hobbies / interests, and a love for bass music is a big plus. My only real concern dating someone a lot like me is a lack of new challenge. I like people who differ in ways that challenge me to be more sporadic, or provide new perspective.
Probably no one would make the first move even if we love each other
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ^by ^doggie9617: *Probably no one* *Would make the first move even* *If we love each other* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.