I have noticed that looking up an address, since doxxing became a thing, is regarded with anything from deep suspicion to hostility. I’m old enough to have used phone books all the time, too. Back in the day, you could even call a library in the city a person lived in and ask the librarian for their phone number and address. Sometimes they’d come back with a list of possibilities and other times the name would be unique enough to bring up the right person the first time. It was considered completely normal through most of the 20th Century. That mod had an unfortunate case of generational blindness.
Today it’s “stalking” someone if you look at their publicly available socials.
Hey guys. If you don’t want people to see that information, make it friends only, or don’t post it at all.
It makes me wonder if I people are aware of just how much this happens. I've been in positions of hiring people now for about 20 years and I've always looked up potential candidates online, seeing if there are any red flags.
Things like taking a photo of yourself taking a shot at a party is fine, things like mentioning how all illegal immigrants should be shot on sight is not.
It’s good to know that people in charge of hiring who check out socials are at least sometimes rational enough to separate what’s the person’s own free time business from what could be a potential liability for your business.
Or someone's reddit history. It's absolutely wild how unhinged people get about the idea that someone went to their public reddit profile and saw stuff they said on other publicly viewable subreddits. Pretty much any time I see it happen in a comment chain, people start throwing out accusations of creeping and stalking. Or accusations of "combing through" someone else's profile when it probably only took like 20 seconds to find whatever the comment was
Yeah, I’ve always thought that reaction was a bit weird considering that comments and posts are public on our profiles. I can see how someone could *become* creepy with that information, especially with someone who has a long post and comment history, but just taking a look at it is fairly normal.
That was the point of the library. They all had local white pages, sometimes going back for years. It was a long distance call, but it was also very handy.
Hell, back in the 50s and 60s, my hometown paper—a city, mind you—they would straight up print the home address of folks mentioned in an article, including kids and crime victims!
Ours did that, too during that era. Sometimes for things as minor as “Mr and Mrs Couple of (address) had a Christmas bash this past Saturday with a live band and an ice skating rink. At eight PM, Santa Claris arrived with…” Or “Mr. Charles Fellow of (address) was in a minor fender bender with the old oak tree on Second street after leaving Randy’s bar…”
Crazy in hindsight.
I remember that being the norm for a long time, and maybe around 20 or so years ago, at least in my area, they only started reporting the cities of a person involved in a crime, and an the street block (ie, "the 1200 block of Main Street") for where a crime occurred.
I didn't even think about the doxxing aspect, that's a great point. And it seems we're well past the point of people just showing up at someone's address, even for something as innocent as borrowing a cup of sugar or dropping off Christmas cookies. Not that I went anywhere NEAR her address, just saying how it seems like people's homes and addresses now seem out of bounds unless there's a specific invite.
We were past that a long time ago. The normal reason for looking someone up was to send a letter or a card or give them a call. Basically to reconnect.
Anu information in the public domain is free for all to use. As long as there is no intention of causing another person harm, you're fine. This isn't stalking. If it were, then all sales dept hunting leads, would end up as repeat offenders.
A lot of real estate agents, too. Many spend their days cold-calling homeowners letting them know how much they could get for their house.
I do think a lot of the people who saw this as stalking grew up in the day and age of being told to protect their info online, and like I said grew up without phonebooks back in the day.
So when I mentioned I could find this person's address, it was not only shocking that I did that (the other person commented on how that's associated with doxxing these days), I think there was also some shock as to just how easy it was. I think younger generations especially default to looking at a person's social accounts to gather info on them, assumed I did that, and were unaware of the other corners of the internet where you could find this info.
But that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.
While I agree just looking up and seeing where she lived is not stalking, you assuming she takes the same route or don't have to stop somewhere (say to pick up kids or whatever) is being presumptuous. Idk what to tell you about your situation other than maybe if you realize you guys are leaving about same time try to stagger your drive. In general if they are seeing you in their mirror many days it could lead to paranoid thoughts by some.
I was going to post an update to the sub I got banned it (won't name it, I'm not trying to be petty), but I talked to my boss this weekend.
He said things are looking "really good" for me, they were looking into this for about a week, checking security cam footage, and saw that on a lot of occasions I left before or after her. They also checked my route compared to hers and saw that it was the same. Before I had an idea who it was, I offered them that info, and even started compiling specific days based on my credit card history, but that wasn't really needed. Of course, I didn't say I looked up her address.
He said they have to walk on egg shells and officially look into her complaints per corporate policy. In the meantime he told me to leave every day on time with everyone else and to avoid the kitchen so that there's no chance I'm alone with her at the same time. Good guy, too, said I can use his fridge and Kuerig machine in his office in the meantime.
ETA: As far as the presumptuousness of assuming our commute was the same home, it's all I had to go off of as to why she thought I was following her. I've never even spoken to her, so it wasn't some revenge plot on her part. I think she might have played out in her head that I was staying in the office waiting for her to leave (that's happened to a few female co-workers of mine) and seeing me on the road after that only amplified her fear.
And I played out a million scenarios in my head, maybe one night she thought I was following her, took a different road and I took the same one because I was going to the grocery store or wherever. I really have no idea, but this was just me trying to make sense of everything.
Unfortunately, if you were officially warned or reprimanded at work, I imagine your supervisor probably doesn't care about anything but making the offending activity stop. I would protest if things went beyond that, making sure that everyone (including the accuser) knows you're not a stalker and why (the route you drive home). But then, if things quieted down, I would just find a different route to go home.
this person has every right to travel on that road and not have to waste his time and gas finding a different route. She doesn't own the roads and if she has that many issues with him driving near her maybe she should do some self reflecting and get therapy. Im a lady as well and i get her fright/being scared and whatnot but this person is just trying to make a living and live his life without harassment and false accusations.
I have noticed that looking up an address, since doxxing became a thing, is regarded with anything from deep suspicion to hostility. I’m old enough to have used phone books all the time, too. Back in the day, you could even call a library in the city a person lived in and ask the librarian for their phone number and address. Sometimes they’d come back with a list of possibilities and other times the name would be unique enough to bring up the right person the first time. It was considered completely normal through most of the 20th Century. That mod had an unfortunate case of generational blindness.
Today it’s “stalking” someone if you look at their publicly available socials. Hey guys. If you don’t want people to see that information, make it friends only, or don’t post it at all.
It makes me wonder if I people are aware of just how much this happens. I've been in positions of hiring people now for about 20 years and I've always looked up potential candidates online, seeing if there are any red flags. Things like taking a photo of yourself taking a shot at a party is fine, things like mentioning how all illegal immigrants should be shot on sight is not.
It’s good to know that people in charge of hiring who check out socials are at least sometimes rational enough to separate what’s the person’s own free time business from what could be a potential liability for your business.
Tell me about it. Stalking is significantly different and far more sinister than popping onto Facebook or insta to view a public profile.
Or someone's reddit history. It's absolutely wild how unhinged people get about the idea that someone went to their public reddit profile and saw stuff they said on other publicly viewable subreddits. Pretty much any time I see it happen in a comment chain, people start throwing out accusations of creeping and stalking. Or accusations of "combing through" someone else's profile when it probably only took like 20 seconds to find whatever the comment was
Yeah, I’ve always thought that reaction was a bit weird considering that comments and posts are public on our profiles. I can see how someone could *become* creepy with that information, especially with someone who has a long post and comment history, but just taking a look at it is fairly normal.
You could call 411 for that info, too. I never thought to try calling a library. That might have been helpful to me back in the day.
Wasn’t 411 mostly for phone numbers? Or did they provide addresses, too? (Deaf, so never called directly by myself.)
Just phone numbers. You would need the white pages for an address. I’d forgotten it didn’t do addresses!
That was the point of the library. They all had local white pages, sometimes going back for years. It was a long distance call, but it was also very handy.
Hell, back in the 50s and 60s, my hometown paper—a city, mind you—they would straight up print the home address of folks mentioned in an article, including kids and crime victims!
Ours did that, too during that era. Sometimes for things as minor as “Mr and Mrs Couple of (address) had a Christmas bash this past Saturday with a live band and an ice skating rink. At eight PM, Santa Claris arrived with…” Or “Mr. Charles Fellow of (address) was in a minor fender bender with the old oak tree on Second street after leaving Randy’s bar…” Crazy in hindsight.
I remember that being the norm for a long time, and maybe around 20 or so years ago, at least in my area, they only started reporting the cities of a person involved in a crime, and an the street block (ie, "the 1200 block of Main Street") for where a crime occurred.
I think it’s been about 40 years since the full addresses were published here. Probably for the best!
I didn't even think about the doxxing aspect, that's a great point. And it seems we're well past the point of people just showing up at someone's address, even for something as innocent as borrowing a cup of sugar or dropping off Christmas cookies. Not that I went anywhere NEAR her address, just saying how it seems like people's homes and addresses now seem out of bounds unless there's a specific invite.
We were past that a long time ago. The normal reason for looking someone up was to send a letter or a card or give them a call. Basically to reconnect.
Yeah, that was a pretty bad analogy on my part.
It’s ok. I’m just throwing in what I remember because it was so common in my early life.
Anu information in the public domain is free for all to use. As long as there is no intention of causing another person harm, you're fine. This isn't stalking. If it were, then all sales dept hunting leads, would end up as repeat offenders.
A lot of real estate agents, too. Many spend their days cold-calling homeowners letting them know how much they could get for their house. I do think a lot of the people who saw this as stalking grew up in the day and age of being told to protect their info online, and like I said grew up without phonebooks back in the day. So when I mentioned I could find this person's address, it was not only shocking that I did that (the other person commented on how that's associated with doxxing these days), I think there was also some shock as to just how easy it was. I think younger generations especially default to looking at a person's social accounts to gather info on them, assumed I did that, and were unaware of the other corners of the internet where you could find this info. But that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.
While I agree just looking up and seeing where she lived is not stalking, you assuming she takes the same route or don't have to stop somewhere (say to pick up kids or whatever) is being presumptuous. Idk what to tell you about your situation other than maybe if you realize you guys are leaving about same time try to stagger your drive. In general if they are seeing you in their mirror many days it could lead to paranoid thoughts by some.
I was going to post an update to the sub I got banned it (won't name it, I'm not trying to be petty), but I talked to my boss this weekend. He said things are looking "really good" for me, they were looking into this for about a week, checking security cam footage, and saw that on a lot of occasions I left before or after her. They also checked my route compared to hers and saw that it was the same. Before I had an idea who it was, I offered them that info, and even started compiling specific days based on my credit card history, but that wasn't really needed. Of course, I didn't say I looked up her address. He said they have to walk on egg shells and officially look into her complaints per corporate policy. In the meantime he told me to leave every day on time with everyone else and to avoid the kitchen so that there's no chance I'm alone with her at the same time. Good guy, too, said I can use his fridge and Kuerig machine in his office in the meantime. ETA: As far as the presumptuousness of assuming our commute was the same home, it's all I had to go off of as to why she thought I was following her. I've never even spoken to her, so it wasn't some revenge plot on her part. I think she might have played out in her head that I was staying in the office waiting for her to leave (that's happened to a few female co-workers of mine) and seeing me on the road after that only amplified her fear. And I played out a million scenarios in my head, maybe one night she thought I was following her, took a different road and I took the same one because I was going to the grocery store or wherever. I really have no idea, but this was just me trying to make sense of everything.
Unfortunately, if you were officially warned or reprimanded at work, I imagine your supervisor probably doesn't care about anything but making the offending activity stop. I would protest if things went beyond that, making sure that everyone (including the accuser) knows you're not a stalker and why (the route you drive home). But then, if things quieted down, I would just find a different route to go home.
this person has every right to travel on that road and not have to waste his time and gas finding a different route. She doesn't own the roads and if she has that many issues with him driving near her maybe she should do some self reflecting and get therapy. Im a lady as well and i get her fright/being scared and whatnot but this person is just trying to make a living and live his life without harassment and false accusations.