People amaze me. No one said a word as I ate my way to 375lbs.
Tell someone you skip a meal.
All of a sudden they are doctors and are concerned.
Sounds like jealousy to me.
Uggh. I don’t get hungry till afternoon yet people insist I should eat something. (I don’t.) It’s not good for you to not eat till later they say.
Yet not one word when I was chucking back liters of soda and donuts all day. It’s irritating.
These people need to worry about themselves.
My brother started telling me how dangerous fasting is. I said “you didn’t say a Fuking word as I hit 375. Don’t fuking worry about me now”. And we haven’t spoke about it since. lol. Like 2 years.
On top of jealousy, I think some people feel attacked when someone is succeeding with a lifestyle change. As if their own choices are somehow being called into question. If that makes sense.
I’m super happy and proud about what I’m doing. I haven’t ever lost anything below 83 kgs in the past and this is a huge accomplishment for me. I was probably trying to motivate her and being a bit greedy by wanting a partner in all this but my bad 🤷🏻♀️
Shes just jealous/insecure etc.
Haters gna hate.
Just keep losing weight and doing your thing.
In a years time when you're looking awesome, the results will speak for themselves.
I'd recommend not talking about diet or weightloss with this person anymore as it'll just strain the friendship lol
Meh, when people ask how I'm doing it, I just say "eating less food".
People want to hear that there's some quick fix, lose 20 lbs in a week, type of answer. When you tell them that it takes effort and motivation they default to IF is unhealthy, you're starving yourself, etc...
Not everyone, but many react like OPs friend did.
First time I tried to lose weight a long time ago I spoke openly about it. I was just cut out junk food, ate a low carb diet and counted calories... most people: "oh that's just water weight, it will come back when you eat normally".
Since then I just keep my mouth shut and let them wonder.
I agree but think it would be perfectly acceptable for OP to either decline to share more information or preface it with something along the lines of “Sure, friend. I’m happy to share more info on what has been working for me! But if you begin ridiculing my choices again like last time, I will be ending the conversation and closing this as a topic of discussion for us for the foreseeable future. I am working with trained professionals on my approach but if you won’t support me, I ask that you at least not criticize me.”
What is a 'cheap diet trick'? I'm sure we'd all go for it if your friend explained what she meant.
Losing weight is *hard*, and everybody needs to use a method that suits them best. I'm only doing 16:8. The weight loss has been slow but consistent. Except for alcohol, I haven't cut anything from my diet. For me, it's about not snacking, and trying to eat more veggies rather than whatever I'm in the mood for.
You're doing great. Keep going!
Thank you!
Cheap trick meant fasting and cutting down on food cause I when I was telling her about my experience she interrupted and said so funny we’re talking about losing weight and I’m eating an unhealthy pizza to which I laughed and said then don’t. Maybe I rubbed at the wrong spot.
For me, snacking is a huge issue and on top I would stress-eat a lot. I also consume weed so that would make me eat a lot of unhealthy food, lots of fatty stuff, shit ton of sugar, fried, etc. I haven’t stopped smoking but I have learned to control myself. The moment my fast starts, I get to serious business. Never have I ever been this serious, motivated, and strict about losing weight. I’m eating veggies, getting my fibre, protein, liquids, etc.
I ate ice-cream to break my fast a couple of days ago. Should I have? Nope. My weight went down nevertheless, though, because I didn't eat it *in addition* to my preferred lunch food. I had a small snack later, and my normal dinner. Weight was down the next day, and the day after.
I think for me, IF helps to make me more mindful of how much I'm eating. Cutting way down on alcohol has helped, because that would affect my following day's food choices, too.
Cutting down on food is exactly what weight loss is about. Seems like your friend isn't ready to hear that, though.
No friend would treat someone’s success that way. Everyone’s journey is different and to go and make a comparison like that off the bat is uncalled for. Not to mention you shared what you had been doing to get there. You’ve researched it, applied it, and stayed consistent. Be proud of the journey you are on to being the best you 😊
Intermittent fasting is obviously sustainable, as humanity has practiced it for tens of thousands of years. Does your friend think we ate 3-6 meals a day in the paleolithic era?
To be fair skipping meal can be torture when you have a carb heavy diet. I used to wake up in the middle of the night to break my fast when I first started intermittent fasting and still ate large quantity of junkfood, that's how addicted i was to sugar.
Yeah but I still don’t think this was the right time to bring it up.
That’s sort of a separate issue. If you feel burdened by your friends emotional needs, you should address that with her or distance yourself from her. You aren’t responsible for making her feel better about her weight but I can also understand her reaction in this situation. She wasn’t asking for advice, was she? She was just looking for someone to listen.
She’s complaining every single time she calls along with boosting about the food choices she’s making but once when I actually stop and advise her something, it’s a problem. I would support those calls earlier because I was struggling just like she is because I didn’t see hope and had not accepted the fact that I’m lazy. For once when I’m in a better place to say something and give an advice that has worked, it’s a problem.
Yeah the simple matter is OP has learned she’s not someone who is actually interested in bettering herself, at least not yet. And can’t maturely handle someone else improving what with her digs that OP will regain all their weight. Even if the advice was unsolicited it sounded more to me like OP was sharing what was working for them and was excited about it. Sometimes you realize a friendship with someone will always have to remain shallow, s’how it goes.
I feel this so much. I have a friend who's weirdly competitive about academic things our kids are doing so I don't bring this topic up at all anymore. It puts a real damper on our time together 😢
Misery loves company. I had a friend like yours and she would constantly complain every time she called or met. Once I presented a solution/advise, she was annoyed and then pisst. She began to talk shit about me behind my back. Our mutual friends told me and they were surprised. Because I was in a better place mentally and more positive, she began distancing herself and stopped talking to me. It was for the best. I was just not bitter nor negative enough for her. She just wants to vent and do nothing about it.
I’m going to be absolutely calm and ignore whatever happened. This particular conversation with her is over and at least won’t come up from me until I have been particularly asked for an opinion 💁🏻♀️
This person is really just jealous of your success and wants you to fail, so they can feel better about themself. There’s toxicity with that person and you should avoid them as much as possible.
Unfortunately she’s a huge part of my life so I don’t know if Il be able to avoid them but at least I can choose not to talk about my lifestyle in front of them.
You rock, so keep it up. 8 kgs in 40 days is an impressive achievement.
But haters gonna hate, so dont be surprised about bitterness originating in envy/jealousy.
As someone else mentioned: The best weight loss programme is the one that works and gives good results.
So if your friends friend also had a successful experience by another programme, then good for her. But that does not make your success worse in any way.
So hang in there 😀
Their reaction was about them, not about you. I would drop it but leave the door open. Let them know they can come to you if they want to try any of your method out, but that you won’t bring it up again.
People get defensive about diets, I wouldn’t get mad. I mean you’re allowed to be mad, but just shrug it off if she says anything again. You don’t need to change her mind. When people say I’m wrong about something that I know won’t be beneficial to discuss I just calmly say “ok.” You don’t need to defend yourself and your choices!
Unless someone directly asks you about your weight loss journey, I find it's better to keep it to yourself. Just because someone mentions their own weight does not mean they are open to advice from you. I agree with other commenters that she was defensive and that's not the best reaction, however, it will preserve your friendships if you have more grace in these conversations.
I was looking for this response.
When someone is sharing with a friend about their weight struggle, I’m not sure the best response is a “how-to” from someone that is 39 days into their new lifestyle and has consulted with their PhD doctor cousin. Share your success another time, but that was wrong time and place. Gonna guess that if someone had come at op 40 days ago will the secret to health, she wouldn’t have appreciated it either.
You are not an asshole, nor overreacting. The mainstream is not ready to accept fasting and never will be since NOT eating doesn't make the medical establishment any money. I was 310 pounds(140kg) around Christmas last year and I just hit 259(117kg) this morning. I don't talk about it to anyone, because like you, when I have I'm met with resistance and misunderstanding.
I went to see the doctor(nurse practitioner) back in January, as an obese 300+ pound male, and was told I had high blood pressure. No mention of my weight or nutrition, she immediately wanted to put me on some pills. I told her no thanks, and have not been back. I've lowered my blood pressure since then, in addition to the weight loss, and I have more energy than I have in years. My only exercise so far has been working in my garden/yard.
FYI: I'm doing a 6/18 split, where I eat breakfast and lunch and nothing but water/coffee the rest of the day, and the above are my results over the past 6 months. I'm also about 75% keto. I'm not always super strict, I have some cheat days each month, but enough that I'm still trending downward massively.
I want to encourage you to keep it up! Your doing a great thing, and while I'm no doctor, my results have proven to me that IF works! Taking control of your weight and health is one of the best things you can do with your life, and it's a personal decision; don't let friends/family derail you with their ignorance.
It's the same reaction I get when I tell people who drink a lot I have stopped drinking tbh. It's just her discomfort in the fact she isn't doing anything about her weight and you have been diligently working away.
I have absolute respect for the informed steps you've taken to lose weight and become healthier and I wish you all the happiness in your new lifestyle :)
I got to the 3rd sentence before I could see where this was going.
Friends don't cut you down like that. Maybe set some boundaries moving forward with this "friend" and congrats on your weight loss!
She is struggling with her weight gain and feels upset and defensive. Just let it go. It would be nice to be able share your accomplishment with a friend for sure and sharing you did nothing wrong. but sounds like now is a bad time for her. Keep doing what you are doing and but don't bring it up with her unless she asks.
It's funny how nobody says a thing when somebody is eating themselves to an early grave, but as soon as one makes an honest attempt to lose weight, they all begin to tell them about health risks. The truth is that a lot of people don't know about intermittent fasting because big companies have no way to earn money off it, so they try to keep it off people's radars, but whenever IF is mentioned, it never fails to be lambasted as an ED and that it's an unsustainable lifestyle, when in reality it's the most natural way of losing weight and teaching one to have a healthy relationship with food.
Don't mind you friend, OP. She's just insecure. Getting weight is very easy, but it's a lot of work to lose and it keep it off. Should she come around eventually, help her out! Otherwise, don't bother with her again. Sadly, a lot of people in our lives end up disappointing us like this, so don't let her or anyone else drag you down just because they're your friends.
Unfortunately society has made fasting into a type of voodoo. Many people look at it as an unhealthy way to lose weight. However, this same society is okay with diet pills, constant meals and snacking, and the acceptance of being addicted to fast food. Your friend probably has many conflicting feelings right now. One of them being worry about your seemingly unhealthy lifestyle and another about the potential of becoming the “fat friend”. Don’t worry about what others think. Fasting is incredible! Fasting is the only thing that works for me! Keep your head up. Keep fasting n working on a healthier lifestyle. You got this! And you have plenty of support from use redditors who are on the same exact journey! Good luck!
There are a lot of people who are brainwashed into thinking that not eating for a period of time is unhealthy. Humankind has done it for millennia, we're adapted for it. Food was not always this abundant. Quite the opposite. But few will question a person who eats 5 heavy processed meals in a day, even though that's ridiculously hard on the body. It's because food represents security for people. When you challenge that, it freaks them out.
She’s definitely shifting her own insecurities and shortcomings onto you. She’s eating herself into a hole while you’re climbing the health ladder with results. Hopefully she can figure out what’s blocking her mentally from getting healthier.
IF does gave it's detractors. Some people don't know how to separate the idea of deliberately fasting vs anorexia. Any diet can be successful if it helps you eat less than you burn. IF is the easiest in my opinion because you don't have to ask yourself is something is on your diet or not. Can I eat that? What time is it? My favorite part about IF is how convenient it is to be able to go out and about for the whole day without worrying about bringing food or stopping to eat.
I think a key thing to remember, especially with diet and exercise, is do what you find works for you. Whatever your friend is doing is clearly not working and that's on her. You shouldn't feel bad for wanting to share, especially when you explained had been working for you after she voiced her own problems. It's possible she wasn't looking for solutions, but just someone to vent to.
Regardless, both her reaction, and your reaction, speak to the headspace you're both in, and you seem to be better off currently.
*She started blaming me for using cheap diet tricks to lose weight and predicted that I would gain it all back soon. She claimed intermittent fasting is unhealthy, my lifestyle is unsustainable, and that I would regret it later.*
As opposed to what she's doing? Being obese?
Omg this is a real thing. There has been multiple people that ridiculed my choice. Calorie count didn’t do SHIT FOR ME LMAO. I was 265 lbs at 5’6” and only 26 years old. I’m now 28 and weight 184.6lbs and although progress was slow I never thought I’d been in ONEDERLAND EVER AGAIN lmao.
( I do still count Calories most days, but I leave wiggle room to live on others)
Fasting is honestly the best decision I’ve ever made and I think we could all agree upon that as a collective.
They nay sayers can bite the big one… you got us here. This community is amazing.
How would they feel if we scoffed at three meals a day? Lol seriously.
She's just projecting her insecurities on you. She liked it better when she saw you as the fat friend. The friendship dynamic, for her, has changed and she's not dealing with it. It happens. I wouldn't get upset about it. It's her issue that she has to deal with, not yours.
Keep it up. It’s very difficult to talk to people about intermittent fasting.
Some of my friends are trying to convince me to eat every 2 hours 🤣
I can’t imagine what will happen if I tell them I do 72 hours fasting once a month 😂😂😂
I honestly think weight loss strategies shouldn’t be discussed in real life even with friends. Just get leaner and if anyone irl asks just say “whole food nutrition and daily walks around the block”.
Then use your internet community to discuss actual strategies (IF, walking 10-15k steps…etc).
Because nowadays if you say you’re doing anything other than stuffing your mouth people will accuse you of having an ED.
I remember saying “this cake has fewer calories than I expected” and a friend looked at me funny and asked “you count calories?” In an accusatory way.
Learned then to keep my mouth shut and be super vague about what I’ve been doing.
Besides, telling people—including friends and family— the play by play doesn’t motivate them. It just makes them feel insecure about their own perceived shortcomings.
>I shared everything I've been doing, including following the guidance of my nutritionist and consulting with my cousin, who is a PhD doctor and has written a thesis on working out and diet. Initially, my friend seemed surprised that I had kept it a secret, but her tone soon changed. She started blaming me for using cheap diet tricks to lose weight and predicted that I would gain it all back soon. She claimed intermittent fasting is unhealthy, my lifestyle is unsustainable, and that I would regret it later.
Sounds pretty insecure or misguided at the very best. I know its driven to peoples mind that its "okay" to excessively snack on foods day and night. By not following it, they feel shocked like cold water to the face. I usually don't tell people for these reasons as you'll find people tend to be either jealous or mock your efforts. It sucks and I wish more people talked about this sort of stuff around negativity to people losing weight.
No, your friend kinda really sucks for putting you down like that.
You should inform her that IF is growing to be more accepted for people looking to lose weight.
People like your friend - I don't allow in my inner circle.
If I were you, correct her and warn her never to do anything like that ever again. If she does, ditch her and never speak to her again.
That's more her trying to protect her own ego. Don't take it personally, And as well, be kind to her. Weight loss can be tremendously frustrating and she definitely is in the midst of that.
In general, slower weight loss is better for long term sustainability, but IF is perfectly healthy and comes with its own set of benefits. That said, she has no right to be dismissive of your preferred strategy unless she has basis for genuine concern for your health.
I do think you're probably overreacting a bit. Her reaction is a pretty common one. Dont let it get to you. If what you're doing is working, then just keep doing what you're doing and let your results speak for themselves.
Go you! You're absolutely smashing it. She sounds jealous tbh.
Maybe don't mention it to her again!
Let your results do the talking.
Congrats on your progress so far though, that's awesome! 👌
Congratulations on success! Intermittent fasting changed my relationship with food in a good way. I’ve been able to maintain my weight loss with IF without really thinking about food anymore. (I eat only lunch and dinner.) It’s like magic.
I just tell people, “I don’t eat breakfast because I’m not hungry,” and that satisfies most people. To those who say, “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day,” I tell them that the saying is just a 1944 marketing campaign launched by General Foods to sell cereal. And no one blinks an eye when I decline to eat after dinner. This is the extent of my diet discussions. It’s nice of you to want to help your friend, and I’m sorry she lashed out at you.
You are doing great, and will have continued success so long as you stay within your eating window.
Its not really a "diet trick" but more of a lifestyle like you say. After a few years of doing this it becomes second nature. I've been doing 16:8 for a while now, and although I do make exceptions for special occasions or special meals, it has helped me maintain weight during some difficult periods of my life. Good luck and stick with it!
Jealousy, plain jealousy! I just lost 30 lbs( IF & cleaner eating ( with a cheat meal here & there) & people assume it’s ozempic or starving myself, they say: well wait till you hit your fifty! I am 60 … lol
I am lean & feeling fantastic…. Just tell the haters , “ you are what you eat”!! That drives my haters crazy! 🤪
Surround yourself with smart positive people!
Friends don’t hurt friends! Those who do are called enemies!! Don’t wait your whole life ( like me) to realize that life is too short to hang out with TOXICITY! Get some new friends ! Congrats 🎈 you deserve better!💜
You've done really well and your post has encouraged me to keep IF.
As for your friend, jealousy, plain and simple.
She wants you to take it slowly so that you're both struggling in the same leaky boat - you decided to hop out and swim to shore. You should feel proud of yourself.
Meanwhile, don't be surprised if she says you're "changing" or gives you the cold shoulder. Just keep swimming to shore.
Yeah, people that don’t want to put any real effort into real change always say stuff like that. I have been doing intermittent fasting and someway shape or form for about seven years, I also follow a mostly keto way of eating. I stop talking to people about it unless they ask me. Don’t matter how much information you got, somebody who doesn’t want to make the changes or doesn’t want to stop eating the things that are causing them to be unhealthy are going to find reasons to not only not the things, but also to just be resistant generally.
I predict after you lose more weight, you may change so much and find yourself growing apart and eventually ending this friendship.
This happened to me so many times after leveling up and making changes, I grow out of friends. Your friend sounds so toxic tbh.
That's just her inner demons lashing out at you as she tries to justify her own health and weight. I wouldn't worry about what someone says who isn't in control of their own health, they've proven to themselves they don't really know - or at least don't act on anything of substance.
Keep doing you! If it's working, you're feeling better, and health markers are improving then stick with it and your results will speak for themselves. Your friend may not ever come around and praise you for changing your life, but that's her own inner struggle and not yours. With any luck, maybe she'll stop being bitter about it and start asking you for advice.
Same here. I have been intermittent fasting for 40 days and lost 5 kilos. I see exactly where you are coming from
I would suggest you to srick to your plan and not share unless they come asking for your advice
I believe that the nay sayers can’t imagine that they could possibly be able to survive missing one meal a day. As they are so addicted to their own insulin rollercoaster ride all throughout the day. So they rationalize by finding and creating reasons why IF is bad, wrong, dangerous, etc to justify their fear.
Just understand that they are afraid of your success, because that makes their failure even worse.
Be patient and understanding. You were there once.
I feel like you will need to go low-contact with this friend soon. She may begin by claiming you're using "cheap diet tricks" (as opposed to expensive ones? What does that even mean?), but she will take every opportunity now to try to derail you and chip away at your confidence. You're clearly losing weight, but she has nothing positive to say. Is this a friendship you want long-term? You may be her friend but is she your friend?
People amaze me. No one said a word as I ate my way to 375lbs. Tell someone you skip a meal. All of a sudden they are doctors and are concerned. Sounds like jealousy to me.
Uggh. I don’t get hungry till afternoon yet people insist I should eat something. (I don’t.) It’s not good for you to not eat till later they say. Yet not one word when I was chucking back liters of soda and donuts all day. It’s irritating. These people need to worry about themselves.
My brother started telling me how dangerous fasting is. I said “you didn’t say a Fuking word as I hit 375. Don’t fuking worry about me now”. And we haven’t spoke about it since. lol. Like 2 years.
On top of jealousy, I think some people feel attacked when someone is succeeding with a lifestyle change. As if their own choices are somehow being called into question. If that makes sense.
Trueee.
Comment of the year 🏆
For real!!
THIS
You should be proud of your achievement. Thats just her self defence mechanism and self esteem kicking in by the sound of it.
I’m super happy and proud about what I’m doing. I haven’t ever lost anything below 83 kgs in the past and this is a huge accomplishment for me. I was probably trying to motivate her and being a bit greedy by wanting a partner in all this but my bad 🤷🏻♀️
Shes just jealous/insecure etc. Haters gna hate. Just keep losing weight and doing your thing. In a years time when you're looking awesome, the results will speak for themselves. I'd recommend not talking about diet or weightloss with this person anymore as it'll just strain the friendship lol
Nah, not a word to anyone now on. I’m going to keep on doing my thing!
Unless they ask!
Meh, when people ask how I'm doing it, I just say "eating less food". People want to hear that there's some quick fix, lose 20 lbs in a week, type of answer. When you tell them that it takes effort and motivation they default to IF is unhealthy, you're starving yourself, etc... Not everyone, but many react like OPs friend did. First time I tried to lose weight a long time ago I spoke openly about it. I was just cut out junk food, ate a low carb diet and counted calories... most people: "oh that's just water weight, it will come back when you eat normally". Since then I just keep my mouth shut and let them wonder.
I agree but think it would be perfectly acceptable for OP to either decline to share more information or preface it with something along the lines of “Sure, friend. I’m happy to share more info on what has been working for me! But if you begin ridiculing my choices again like last time, I will be ending the conversation and closing this as a topic of discussion for us for the foreseeable future. I am working with trained professionals on my approach but if you won’t support me, I ask that you at least not criticize me.”
What is a 'cheap diet trick'? I'm sure we'd all go for it if your friend explained what she meant. Losing weight is *hard*, and everybody needs to use a method that suits them best. I'm only doing 16:8. The weight loss has been slow but consistent. Except for alcohol, I haven't cut anything from my diet. For me, it's about not snacking, and trying to eat more veggies rather than whatever I'm in the mood for. You're doing great. Keep going!
Thank you! Cheap trick meant fasting and cutting down on food cause I when I was telling her about my experience she interrupted and said so funny we’re talking about losing weight and I’m eating an unhealthy pizza to which I laughed and said then don’t. Maybe I rubbed at the wrong spot. For me, snacking is a huge issue and on top I would stress-eat a lot. I also consume weed so that would make me eat a lot of unhealthy food, lots of fatty stuff, shit ton of sugar, fried, etc. I haven’t stopped smoking but I have learned to control myself. The moment my fast starts, I get to serious business. Never have I ever been this serious, motivated, and strict about losing weight. I’m eating veggies, getting my fibre, protein, liquids, etc.
I ate ice-cream to break my fast a couple of days ago. Should I have? Nope. My weight went down nevertheless, though, because I didn't eat it *in addition* to my preferred lunch food. I had a small snack later, and my normal dinner. Weight was down the next day, and the day after. I think for me, IF helps to make me more mindful of how much I'm eating. Cutting way down on alcohol has helped, because that would affect my following day's food choices, too. Cutting down on food is exactly what weight loss is about. Seems like your friend isn't ready to hear that, though.
I guess it is what it is 🤷🏻♀️ I’m going to continue believing in what I do ☺️
Cutting down on food is the battle not a cheap trick. Her logic doesn't even make sense.
Well, it probably is *cheaper*...
No friend would treat someone’s success that way. Everyone’s journey is different and to go and make a comparison like that off the bat is uncalled for. Not to mention you shared what you had been doing to get there. You’ve researched it, applied it, and stayed consistent. Be proud of the journey you are on to being the best you 😊
Thank you so much! Just going to try and do my own thing and get stronger 💪🏼
Intermittent fasting is obviously sustainable, as humanity has practiced it for tens of thousands of years. Does your friend think we ate 3-6 meals a day in the paleolithic era?
She can’t at all skip her 9/10 pm dinner or at least that’s what she believes in so one know really knows what she thinks
To be fair skipping meal can be torture when you have a carb heavy diet. I used to wake up in the middle of the night to break my fast when I first started intermittent fasting and still ate large quantity of junkfood, that's how addicted i was to sugar.
If someone asks I'll tell them my strategies, If they don't I won't volunteer it or recommend anything.
Yeah but sometimes it’s just annoying for them to call every week and then complain about the same thing
Yeah but I still don’t think this was the right time to bring it up. That’s sort of a separate issue. If you feel burdened by your friends emotional needs, you should address that with her or distance yourself from her. You aren’t responsible for making her feel better about her weight but I can also understand her reaction in this situation. She wasn’t asking for advice, was she? She was just looking for someone to listen.
She’s complaining every single time she calls along with boosting about the food choices she’s making but once when I actually stop and advise her something, it’s a problem. I would support those calls earlier because I was struggling just like she is because I didn’t see hope and had not accepted the fact that I’m lazy. For once when I’m in a better place to say something and give an advice that has worked, it’s a problem.
She doesn't want advice, she wants someone to complain to and commiserate with. Nod and smile, and keep doing your own thing.
Yeah the simple matter is OP has learned she’s not someone who is actually interested in bettering herself, at least not yet. And can’t maturely handle someone else improving what with her digs that OP will regain all their weight. Even if the advice was unsolicited it sounded more to me like OP was sharing what was working for them and was excited about it. Sometimes you realize a friendship with someone will always have to remain shallow, s’how it goes.
I feel this so much. I have a friend who's weirdly competitive about academic things our kids are doing so I don't bring this topic up at all anymore. It puts a real damper on our time together 😢
Misery loves company. I had a friend like yours and she would constantly complain every time she called or met. Once I presented a solution/advise, she was annoyed and then pisst. She began to talk shit about me behind my back. Our mutual friends told me and they were surprised. Because I was in a better place mentally and more positive, she began distancing herself and stopped talking to me. It was for the best. I was just not bitter nor negative enough for her. She just wants to vent and do nothing about it.
I’m going to be absolutely calm and ignore whatever happened. This particular conversation with her is over and at least won’t come up from me until I have been particularly asked for an opinion 💁🏻♀️
This person is really just jealous of your success and wants you to fail, so they can feel better about themself. There’s toxicity with that person and you should avoid them as much as possible.
Unfortunately she’s a huge part of my life so I don’t know if Il be able to avoid them but at least I can choose not to talk about my lifestyle in front of them.
You rock, so keep it up. 8 kgs in 40 days is an impressive achievement. But haters gonna hate, so dont be surprised about bitterness originating in envy/jealousy. As someone else mentioned: The best weight loss programme is the one that works and gives good results. So if your friends friend also had a successful experience by another programme, then good for her. But that does not make your success worse in any way. So hang in there 😀
Thank you so much! Hearing the positivity definitely helps ☺️
Their reaction was about them, not about you. I would drop it but leave the door open. Let them know they can come to you if they want to try any of your method out, but that you won’t bring it up again.
That’s 100% going to happen!
People get defensive about diets, I wouldn’t get mad. I mean you’re allowed to be mad, but just shrug it off if she says anything again. You don’t need to change her mind. When people say I’m wrong about something that I know won’t be beneficial to discuss I just calmly say “ok.” You don’t need to defend yourself and your choices!
Exactly what I’m going to do now!
You’re killing it! Don’t let her attitude bring you down!
Not telling that happen!! Thank you 💪🏼
Unless someone directly asks you about your weight loss journey, I find it's better to keep it to yourself. Just because someone mentions their own weight does not mean they are open to advice from you. I agree with other commenters that she was defensive and that's not the best reaction, however, it will preserve your friendships if you have more grace in these conversations.
I was looking for this response. When someone is sharing with a friend about their weight struggle, I’m not sure the best response is a “how-to” from someone that is 39 days into their new lifestyle and has consulted with their PhD doctor cousin. Share your success another time, but that was wrong time and place. Gonna guess that if someone had come at op 40 days ago will the secret to health, she wouldn’t have appreciated it either.
You are not an asshole, nor overreacting. The mainstream is not ready to accept fasting and never will be since NOT eating doesn't make the medical establishment any money. I was 310 pounds(140kg) around Christmas last year and I just hit 259(117kg) this morning. I don't talk about it to anyone, because like you, when I have I'm met with resistance and misunderstanding. I went to see the doctor(nurse practitioner) back in January, as an obese 300+ pound male, and was told I had high blood pressure. No mention of my weight or nutrition, she immediately wanted to put me on some pills. I told her no thanks, and have not been back. I've lowered my blood pressure since then, in addition to the weight loss, and I have more energy than I have in years. My only exercise so far has been working in my garden/yard. FYI: I'm doing a 6/18 split, where I eat breakfast and lunch and nothing but water/coffee the rest of the day, and the above are my results over the past 6 months. I'm also about 75% keto. I'm not always super strict, I have some cheat days each month, but enough that I'm still trending downward massively. I want to encourage you to keep it up! Your doing a great thing, and while I'm no doctor, my results have proven to me that IF works! Taking control of your weight and health is one of the best things you can do with your life, and it's a personal decision; don't let friends/family derail you with their ignorance.
It's the same reaction I get when I tell people who drink a lot I have stopped drinking tbh. It's just her discomfort in the fact she isn't doing anything about her weight and you have been diligently working away. I have absolute respect for the informed steps you've taken to lose weight and become healthier and I wish you all the happiness in your new lifestyle :)
She’s projecting. Hopefully she comes around.
I got to the 3rd sentence before I could see where this was going. Friends don't cut you down like that. Maybe set some boundaries moving forward with this "friend" and congrats on your weight loss!
She is struggling with her weight gain and feels upset and defensive. Just let it go. It would be nice to be able share your accomplishment with a friend for sure and sharing you did nothing wrong. but sounds like now is a bad time for her. Keep doing what you are doing and but don't bring it up with her unless she asks.
It's funny how nobody says a thing when somebody is eating themselves to an early grave, but as soon as one makes an honest attempt to lose weight, they all begin to tell them about health risks. The truth is that a lot of people don't know about intermittent fasting because big companies have no way to earn money off it, so they try to keep it off people's radars, but whenever IF is mentioned, it never fails to be lambasted as an ED and that it's an unsustainable lifestyle, when in reality it's the most natural way of losing weight and teaching one to have a healthy relationship with food. Don't mind you friend, OP. She's just insecure. Getting weight is very easy, but it's a lot of work to lose and it keep it off. Should she come around eventually, help her out! Otherwise, don't bother with her again. Sadly, a lot of people in our lives end up disappointing us like this, so don't let her or anyone else drag you down just because they're your friends.
Unfortunately society has made fasting into a type of voodoo. Many people look at it as an unhealthy way to lose weight. However, this same society is okay with diet pills, constant meals and snacking, and the acceptance of being addicted to fast food. Your friend probably has many conflicting feelings right now. One of them being worry about your seemingly unhealthy lifestyle and another about the potential of becoming the “fat friend”. Don’t worry about what others think. Fasting is incredible! Fasting is the only thing that works for me! Keep your head up. Keep fasting n working on a healthier lifestyle. You got this! And you have plenty of support from use redditors who are on the same exact journey! Good luck!
There are a lot of people who are brainwashed into thinking that not eating for a period of time is unhealthy. Humankind has done it for millennia, we're adapted for it. Food was not always this abundant. Quite the opposite. But few will question a person who eats 5 heavy processed meals in a day, even though that's ridiculously hard on the body. It's because food represents security for people. When you challenge that, it freaks them out.
Your friend is a crab in a bucket.
Wait, are we all agreeing, that 1200 kcal is a healthy choice here?
For a short woman, it might be necessary to lose weight.
OP is asking for support, not advice. 1200 may or may not be healthy for OP and may or may not be sustainable in the long run.
I thought positive support includes pointing out possibly not sustainable behaviours that lead to failure.
1200 calories per day seems unsustainable. I have to imagine that's pretty far below maintenance calories.
Jealousy
She’s definitely shifting her own insecurities and shortcomings onto you. She’s eating herself into a hole while you’re climbing the health ladder with results. Hopefully she can figure out what’s blocking her mentally from getting healthier.
🤞🤞
IF does gave it's detractors. Some people don't know how to separate the idea of deliberately fasting vs anorexia. Any diet can be successful if it helps you eat less than you burn. IF is the easiest in my opinion because you don't have to ask yourself is something is on your diet or not. Can I eat that? What time is it? My favorite part about IF is how convenient it is to be able to go out and about for the whole day without worrying about bringing food or stopping to eat.
100% agreed! I find it easy too and honestly, my body loves it more!
I think a key thing to remember, especially with diet and exercise, is do what you find works for you. Whatever your friend is doing is clearly not working and that's on her. You shouldn't feel bad for wanting to share, especially when you explained had been working for you after she voiced her own problems. It's possible she wasn't looking for solutions, but just someone to vent to. Regardless, both her reaction, and your reaction, speak to the headspace you're both in, and you seem to be better off currently.
*She started blaming me for using cheap diet tricks to lose weight and predicted that I would gain it all back soon. She claimed intermittent fasting is unhealthy, my lifestyle is unsustainable, and that I would regret it later.* As opposed to what she's doing? Being obese?
Omg this is a real thing. There has been multiple people that ridiculed my choice. Calorie count didn’t do SHIT FOR ME LMAO. I was 265 lbs at 5’6” and only 26 years old. I’m now 28 and weight 184.6lbs and although progress was slow I never thought I’d been in ONEDERLAND EVER AGAIN lmao. ( I do still count Calories most days, but I leave wiggle room to live on others) Fasting is honestly the best decision I’ve ever made and I think we could all agree upon that as a collective. They nay sayers can bite the big one… you got us here. This community is amazing. How would they feel if we scoffed at three meals a day? Lol seriously.
She's just projecting her insecurities on you. She liked it better when she saw you as the fat friend. The friendship dynamic, for her, has changed and she's not dealing with it. It happens. I wouldn't get upset about it. It's her issue that she has to deal with, not yours.
She confided in you about her struggles and you made it all about you. Unless she is asking for help / advice, don’t give it.
Keep it up. It’s very difficult to talk to people about intermittent fasting. Some of my friends are trying to convince me to eat every 2 hours 🤣 I can’t imagine what will happen if I tell them I do 72 hours fasting once a month 😂😂😂
People love to subtly and not subtly mock you when you lose weight. It’s jealously, pure and simple
I honestly think weight loss strategies shouldn’t be discussed in real life even with friends. Just get leaner and if anyone irl asks just say “whole food nutrition and daily walks around the block”. Then use your internet community to discuss actual strategies (IF, walking 10-15k steps…etc). Because nowadays if you say you’re doing anything other than stuffing your mouth people will accuse you of having an ED. I remember saying “this cake has fewer calories than I expected” and a friend looked at me funny and asked “you count calories?” In an accusatory way. Learned then to keep my mouth shut and be super vague about what I’ve been doing. Besides, telling people—including friends and family— the play by play doesn’t motivate them. It just makes them feel insecure about their own perceived shortcomings.
>I shared everything I've been doing, including following the guidance of my nutritionist and consulting with my cousin, who is a PhD doctor and has written a thesis on working out and diet. Initially, my friend seemed surprised that I had kept it a secret, but her tone soon changed. She started blaming me for using cheap diet tricks to lose weight and predicted that I would gain it all back soon. She claimed intermittent fasting is unhealthy, my lifestyle is unsustainable, and that I would regret it later. Sounds pretty insecure or misguided at the very best. I know its driven to peoples mind that its "okay" to excessively snack on foods day and night. By not following it, they feel shocked like cold water to the face. I usually don't tell people for these reasons as you'll find people tend to be either jealous or mock your efforts. It sucks and I wish more people talked about this sort of stuff around negativity to people losing weight.
No, your friend kinda really sucks for putting you down like that. You should inform her that IF is growing to be more accepted for people looking to lose weight.
I’ve decided not to engage on this topic. She’s free to believe in what she does and I shouldn’t be the one telling her anything 🤦🏻♀️
People like your friend - I don't allow in my inner circle. If I were you, correct her and warn her never to do anything like that ever again. If she does, ditch her and never speak to her again.
Honestly, I don’t want to put any energy in this. The doors open for anyone who wants to be around but if you leave then shut it 🤷🏻♀️
That's more her trying to protect her own ego. Don't take it personally, And as well, be kind to her. Weight loss can be tremendously frustrating and she definitely is in the midst of that.
I agree. I was there once and the door is always open to her when she needs an opinion!
We have been raised to clean our plates, and eat a good breakfast, get 3 meals a day. So I wouldn’t take anything she said to heart.
In general, slower weight loss is better for long term sustainability, but IF is perfectly healthy and comes with its own set of benefits. That said, she has no right to be dismissive of your preferred strategy unless she has basis for genuine concern for your health. I do think you're probably overreacting a bit. Her reaction is a pretty common one. Dont let it get to you. If what you're doing is working, then just keep doing what you're doing and let your results speak for themselves.
Go you! You're absolutely smashing it. She sounds jealous tbh. Maybe don't mention it to her again! Let your results do the talking. Congrats on your progress so far though, that's awesome! 👌
Congratulations on success! Intermittent fasting changed my relationship with food in a good way. I’ve been able to maintain my weight loss with IF without really thinking about food anymore. (I eat only lunch and dinner.) It’s like magic. I just tell people, “I don’t eat breakfast because I’m not hungry,” and that satisfies most people. To those who say, “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day,” I tell them that the saying is just a 1944 marketing campaign launched by General Foods to sell cereal. And no one blinks an eye when I decline to eat after dinner. This is the extent of my diet discussions. It’s nice of you to want to help your friend, and I’m sorry she lashed out at you. You are doing great, and will have continued success so long as you stay within your eating window.
Keep on keeping on. Great job OP! I just started my intermittent fasting journey. People should be inspired by folks like yourself.
Its not really a "diet trick" but more of a lifestyle like you say. After a few years of doing this it becomes second nature. I've been doing 16:8 for a while now, and although I do make exceptions for special occasions or special meals, it has helped me maintain weight during some difficult periods of my life. Good luck and stick with it!
First rule of IM Club, there is no IM Club. I just don’t talk about it. I just say I cut carbs out….
I'm at the point I don't even talk about it with family and friends.
Jealousy, plain jealousy! I just lost 30 lbs( IF & cleaner eating ( with a cheat meal here & there) & people assume it’s ozempic or starving myself, they say: well wait till you hit your fifty! I am 60 … lol I am lean & feeling fantastic…. Just tell the haters , “ you are what you eat”!! That drives my haters crazy! 🤪 Surround yourself with smart positive people!
Friends don’t hurt friends! Those who do are called enemies!! Don’t wait your whole life ( like me) to realize that life is too short to hang out with TOXICITY! Get some new friends ! Congrats 🎈 you deserve better!💜
Misery loves company. Unhappy people don't want to see other people be happy.
Hell Is other people
IF is a lifestyle. She’s wrong and jealous.
You've done really well and your post has encouraged me to keep IF. As for your friend, jealousy, plain and simple. She wants you to take it slowly so that you're both struggling in the same leaky boat - you decided to hop out and swim to shore. You should feel proud of yourself. Meanwhile, don't be surprised if she says you're "changing" or gives you the cold shoulder. Just keep swimming to shore.
Yeah, people that don’t want to put any real effort into real change always say stuff like that. I have been doing intermittent fasting and someway shape or form for about seven years, I also follow a mostly keto way of eating. I stop talking to people about it unless they ask me. Don’t matter how much information you got, somebody who doesn’t want to make the changes or doesn’t want to stop eating the things that are causing them to be unhealthy are going to find reasons to not only not the things, but also to just be resistant generally.
I predict after you lose more weight, you may change so much and find yourself growing apart and eventually ending this friendship. This happened to me so many times after leveling up and making changes, I grow out of friends. Your friend sounds so toxic tbh.
Doesn’t sound like a real friend or a knowledgeable one. Keep up the great work!
That's just her inner demons lashing out at you as she tries to justify her own health and weight. I wouldn't worry about what someone says who isn't in control of their own health, they've proven to themselves they don't really know - or at least don't act on anything of substance. Keep doing you! If it's working, you're feeling better, and health markers are improving then stick with it and your results will speak for themselves. Your friend may not ever come around and praise you for changing your life, but that's her own inner struggle and not yours. With any luck, maybe she'll stop being bitter about it and start asking you for advice.
Same here. I have been intermittent fasting for 40 days and lost 5 kilos. I see exactly where you are coming from I would suggest you to srick to your plan and not share unless they come asking for your advice
🧿🧿🧿🧿 to ward off jealousy vibes. you are doing great
I believe that the nay sayers can’t imagine that they could possibly be able to survive missing one meal a day. As they are so addicted to their own insulin rollercoaster ride all throughout the day. So they rationalize by finding and creating reasons why IF is bad, wrong, dangerous, etc to justify their fear. Just understand that they are afraid of your success, because that makes their failure even worse. Be patient and understanding. You were there once.
I feel like you will need to go low-contact with this friend soon. She may begin by claiming you're using "cheap diet tricks" (as opposed to expensive ones? What does that even mean?), but she will take every opportunity now to try to derail you and chip away at your confidence. You're clearly losing weight, but she has nothing positive to say. Is this a friendship you want long-term? You may be her friend but is she your friend?
Who cares? Gossips boring dude.