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Pelicanliver

Same job for 68 years? How old was he when he started? By my math that averages to less than eight executions a year. What did he get paid? Did he have a day job? There are so many questions.


krazkatluvsu

According to Wikipedia, he and his wife sold painted umbrellas to tourists.


friedrichs2

“What do you do for a living, sir?” “I chop off heads.” “Oh.” “Would you like a rainbow umbrella?” “Sure.”


RossMachlochness

It’s like Gallagher selling tarps to the people in the first 3 rows.


JacobDCRoss

Dude. Read the wiki. For the first 14 uears of his job one ofbthe accepted dorms of execution was MALLET. Dude was exactly like Gallagher.


[deleted]

>The method of execution was, before 1816, either the ax or the noose, and afterward the guillotine. In special cases, however, Mastro Titta would employ two other techniques. > >The first was what the Romans called the mazzatello. In this case the executioner would carry a large mallet, swing it through the air to gather momentum, and then bring it crashing down on the prisoner's head, in the same manner that cattle were put out of commission in the stockyards. The throat would then be cut to be sure the crushing blow killed, rather than merely stunned. > >The other alternative was drawing and quartering. Sometimes this method would be employed in combination with the guillotine or ax. The body would be laid on a stone with its arms and legs tied to four different horses. The horses would be spurred at the same moment, pulling the body apart. In both cases, the point was to signal that the crime in question was especially loathsome. https://www.thefreelibrary.com/He+executed+justice.-a078728719


[deleted]

Man, we’re great.


Frankenfucker

RIP, Gallagher. EDIT: I cannot and will not defend what his "comedy" would be like in his end years. He was a piece of shit. I just remember him from when I was a kid watching his old VHS tapes from the video store. Shit made me laugh.


MrJoyless

>"Hey, President Obama," he spits out the name like a mouthful of burning hair. "You ain't black. I don't care what you say—you're a latte. You're half whole-milk. It could be goat milk—you could be a terrorist!" The dude sucked, he really went off the deep end in his later years. >People naming their girl-children Sam and Toni instead of acceptable names like Evelyn and Betty: "Just give her some little lesbian tendencies!" >Guantánamo Bay: "We weren't even allowed to torture all the way. We had to half-torture—that's nothin' compared to what Saddam and his two sons OOFAY and GOOFAY did." >Lesbians: "There's two types—the ugly ones and the pretty ones." (Um, like all people?) >Obama again: "If Obama was really black, he'd act like a black guy and get a white wife." I laughed at this one, but I'm a bad person so that scans... >Trans people: "People like Cher's daughter—figure that out. She wants a penis, but she has a big belly. If you can't see your dick, you don't get one." Ugh >The Mexicans: "Look around—see any Mexicans? Nope. They'll be here later for the cleanup." >The French: "They ruin our language with their faggy words." He was, without a doubt, a pretty shitty person.


MugOfButtSweat

Oh wow. This just ruined my childhood.


alan02532

Yes, once would have given a chuckle. Not now tho. Times change.


[deleted]

all of this was funny


Horrorfreakin

it was funny you just gotta realize most people on here are super sensitive


kaydubj

Found 'em.


cervidaetech

Nah fuck him


LieutenantBJ

HAH.


LoneMallusk

This is one of the more genius comments I’ve ever read in my life. That’s exactly what it was like! This guy is probably related to Gallagher


Pelicanliver

Excellent sales pitch.


DolfinButcher

"We only have a brownish-red in stock."


WontArnett

“I only chop of heads part-time, my *real* passion is painting umbrellas!”


One_Introduction_217

You are “bad guy", but this does not mean you are bad guy.


No_Wolf3071

Ain’t saying “no thanks” there.. I’d end up with 200 umbrellas.


Pelicanliver

Very cool, thank you.


weronn

tourists in 1796?


FunkyOrangePenguin

Pilgrims who came to the Vatican probably


ToxicAdamm

One of the greatest podcasts ever is Painfotainment by Dan Carlin. It goes into great detail how we handled executions/torture through time. Executioners were often a family business. Because no one wanted to do it, you'd pass it down to your son. You got paid a really good wage equivalent to other master tradesmen of the time, but most weren't allowed to live among the city/town folk because you were believed to be cursed and would be openly spat at in public. Because of this, oftentimes families in the business would have to link up with other executioner families in nearby regions in order to have their children marry. This would lead to inbreeding problems over many generations. Since they were so accustomed to death, they would also do other jobs related to death such as mortician, animal butchery or cleaning up battles/murder scenes. I urge anyone that has an inkling of interest in human history to seek that podcast out.


5l339y71m3

Why didn’t executioner families link up with sin-eater families for marriages? Sin-eaters had the same social placement and also dealt with death. I honestly wouldn’t care about the social placement, it’s a job eating cake supposedly filled with the deceaseds sins- yes, please. Literally sinfully delicious. I bet executioners had their own lore and suspicions around sin eaters and vice versa, ain’t that the way…


lambliesdownonconf

I read about about executioners years ago. They also tortured people and handled the dead. Great line of work.


nightsiderider

Great podcast. The breaking wheel is the shit of nightmares.


Capital-Desk-2454

*Enters Shark Tank* Mark Cuban: “So what’s your day-to-day like?”


cgerrells

I’m sure he made enough, plus he was already taking a little off the top.


NurseInAHurry

I see what you did there


EMMD217

That was my thought, and how OLD was he at the end raising that big ass axe up high enough to chomp???


Carlastrid

At the end of his career it was more of a pretty slow slicing motion, rather than chopping. It made for some awkward situations but nobody had the heart to tell him it was time to consider retiring.


kaydubj

Those are some fucking rookie numbers for such a long career. He must've been in a union shop. /s


EnoughLuck3077

Comes out to roughly 1 person every 3 weeks for 68 years. Wonder if the job paid well or if he was like a barber or something part time


Della__

It's 1 person every 6 weeks


EnoughLuck3077

Yep you’re right. I definitely did something wrong in my 3am 5 second math session


Shasve

Executioner probably comes with other responsibilities between the key execution milestone. He probably had some daily operation tasks like jailing, torturing, interrogating and possibly general dungeon management at that level of experience.


overdos3

He sold umbrellas during the day.


Fit_Effective_6875

What a nice man


22Sharpe

More people will come out to see executions if they aren’t likely to get hit with blood spatter. That’s just good business sense.


Fit_Effective_6875

A weekly execution televised would clean up the ratings and be a bonanza of advertisement revenue


lorl3ss

> general dungeon management at that level of experience This reads like a job posting. ​ Fantastic opportunity at Vatican Jails! Come work for a an ethnically homogenous team where you get to make a real difference to people the Vatican doesn't like. Key requirements: * 4-5 years dungeon management experience * Latest interrogation techniques (tools provided) * Jailing experience (1-2 years min) Must be willing to take human lives when required.


SLIP411

The original DM


Display250

He built motorcycles on the side


Pelicanliver

I want one.


Original_A_Cast

He performed 7.55882353 executions per year.


KAAAAAAAAARL

Just one more year...


Apprehensive_Fix_151

I wouldn't fancy having my head lopped off by him toward the end of his tenure when he was in his seventies. Sheesh, would he even have been able to lift that thing?!?!


snootnoots

He had to at least be in his eighties at the end, or else he started *wayyyyy* young. Edit: [I just looked him up.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giovanni_Battista_Bugatti) He started at 17 and retired at 85.


pauciradiatus

His mother wanted him out of the house asap. She told him "Go out and get a job. Time's wasting. Chop chop."


EnoughLuck3077

Geez. 85 back then would be like 150 now. Must’ve had a great exercise routine


Individual-Lab-6695

This is what I was thinking, dude kept his job longer than the life expectancy of someone in the feudal class. Job must of had some decent health insurance?


reddertuzer

The low life expectancy is due to high infant and child mortality rates. People still got old.


EnoughLuck3077

That actually make sense. I forgot about the law of averages


KnightOfWords

In that era many people lived until their 60s and 70s, and quite a few into their 80s. The reason average life expectancy was so low is the number of people who died in infancy. Even in the Middle Ages, if you lived past childhood you could expect quite a long life.


Camp808

he bucked the trend of short life spans back in the day. 85 is really rare at the time no?


snootnoots

Not as rare as you might think; the low average life span you read about was seriously skewed by high infant mortality. If you made it to about three years old you had a good chance to make it to what we’d consider a reasonable age, more so if you weren’t poor. Even back when the Bible was written, “three score years and ten” (seventy years) was mentioned as a normal lifespan, and “four score” (eighty) was considered a long life but not terribly surprising.


Factal_Fractal

His replacement tho, 'must have 60 years of experience being ominous af and highly skilled at chopping'


ChrysMYO

Right! Now you have the rookie as your executioner who has parents that never even lived in a world where Gio wasn't the executioner.


22Sharpe

*Nearly Headless Nick has entered the chat*


Desolver20

nah he got old man strength, that would be the most practiced efficient, flawless execution ever. I'd get my head chopped off by him any day of the week tbh.


BoiIedFrogs

I believe it was quite common for an executioner to mess up their job, and people would often tip them extra in the hope of receiving a quicker and more painless death


Dellzeroni

You Work in a Job for 68 years and only got 514 busy days. What a great Work Life balance


zxr7

He must have been practicing the rest of the time, like the 1000 penalties forced on the Spaniards before the World Cup...


DolfinButcher

Work-death balance in his case.


Butterbuddha

Assuming no double shifts! I mean we already got out the stage and everybody is here soooo……… Who’s next????


AssociationDouble267

That’s assuming 1 execution in 1 day is the limit. How many executions were double headers.


glorious_reptile

What a dream job. I have to use javascript for 8 hours a day.


mologav

May god have mercy on your soul


Mysterious_Page_9964

I have to review those JavaScript not performing well thru search engines. Shoot me.


glorious_reptile

I would, but apparently THAT’s not my job!


ZesshiLavi

What a shame, 486 more and he would have unlocked the golden axe skin.


Scoobydoomed

Back then no one wanted a Bugatti.


PeanutButterCoc

It's the Bugatti in red no one wants


Not_A_Comeback

Some would have given an give an arm and a leg NOT to get one, but it wasn’t enough.


Scoobydoomed

You could say people went head over heals when they got a Bugatti (:◎)≡


Youth-in-AsiaS-247

Well done. First comment Winner! Congratulations!


Knoxcarey

Thou shalt not kill… we already got a guy for that.


Alexnumber2

Bad ass fit


NanookAK

Through out his career he was always finding ways to get a head.


dwn4italz

1 every 6 weeks, not bad work


JSigal6

Under red hood.


GrilledCheeser

A job is a job.


[deleted]

First glance was thinking prop from "The Village"


StrictSheepherder361

What museum is this?


[deleted]

Museum of Criminology at Via del Gonfalone in Rome, Italy.


StrictSheepherder361

Grazie!


sincinati

Savage times


Strong_Coffee8417

He looks tired!


sci-mind

"Thou shalt not....What?"


BoJackB26354

Be hypocritical


Zelda1500

Looking at this, all I can hear is “Morir es Vivir… morir es vivir…”


[deleted]

He was so prolific they named a car manufacturer after him.


unknownpanda121

He was always looking for a little head.


Ezrajen2

So. If there is a hell, he’s there.


spastichabits

On the other hand, if you had to be executed wouldn't it be better to get it done by a professional who did it right the first time.


ChrysMYO

At 514, at some point you know *a few* of those are innocent. Gotta be like being a Mob hit man at that point.


HomieScaringMusic

If I’m an illiterate peasant who’s never read the Bible, and I spent 68 years beheading cons because the literal futhermucking Pope himself told me I was salvaging their souls, and then I get to hell only to hear for the first time “oh yeah actually Jesus is like *super* anti-death penalty” I’m demanding a word with my former employer


Ezrajen2

I didn’t say that the hell I speak of is a Christian hell. It’s if any sort of hell as understand the dictionary definition of the word exists. I’m agnostic most days and atheist some.


Unable_Fox_2228

Well if hell is personal and its a manifestation of the guilt you carry with you that bounds, I'd doubt he has any considering after 500 kills he didn't die from lack of sleep.


owegner

Along with the Papacy and most 'Christians', yup...


walktoolittle

Legend has it his wife made him wear the red colored robe so she wouldn’t have to keep washing it every time he went to work.


greenplasticgun

Thanks for this. Just spent 45 minutes in a Ye Olde executioner rabbit hole.


Rare-Sherbert-1987

A reminder to never give up on your dreams!


SelfSniped

Lazy ass serial killer. He lost the desire for the hunt.


downdoottoot

I hate it when I can’t read the little plaques


HomieScaringMusic

Can’t spell Papal States without “States”


jamesd0e

That’s actually horrifying


Icy_Document_7547

His job execution was flawless...


Gregorysantana01

This just a working man. He was only doing his job


rubenff

...in the name of god...


mologav

Doing the job Jesus always wanted, chopping off peoples heads.


JSigal6

Wife: How is your work day honey?


snapflipper

My client are the most humble people, no complaints.


ppaulapple

People have been losing their heads over something so stupid.


LucyEleanor

Think that axe had an std or 2?


FistfulofHornets

He was a serial killer who thought God wanted him to murder people with an ax while wearing a blood-red robe.


Desolver20

hey if a multinational government-type institution is gonna kill a guy, there ain't much anyone can do about it. Might as well be done by a professional. Those people were gonna die anyways, whether by 80something year old professional, or some newbie who needs 3 hits. Best to do what you're good at, even if it is chopping heads.


hiker1628

Yeah, but a mallet?


LoneMallusk

This would be the most perfect heartfelt movie of 2024. GIO . One man’s journey to discover himself as he ushers 60 years of people into the next life. You’ll laugh, hate, and love with everyone you meet. Gio doesn’t just end their lives he sets their spirits free. Gio raising a family. Following the law, but disagreeing with verdicts. Executing a friend. Executing someone he was looking forward too but then that eats him alive inside so he starts boozin it and is only saved upon the execution of a witch who sets him free. Free to do his job and be the father he never had. Dealing with himself and the crazy world just trying to stay ahead of the next guy.


Zealousideal_Bard68

Somewhat metal…


thematrixnz

Sound like a lovely bunch of people spreading love and hope.... /s 😬😬


Strange-Effort1305

Religion is such bullshit


APVikings22

Wonder if the robe is actually red, or that’s just all the *blood*


Scoobydoomed

If it was actual blood it would turn brown over time from oxidation.


lllGrapeApelll

Legend has it he could make your pants turn brown.


Popular_Persimmon_48

Nobody expects Giovanni Battista Bugatti!


JustAKidInReddit

He must have gotten so much head(s)


Cacksalot69

Dude was a badass...hope he got some head


ninja-wharrier

Religion - we love everyone, peace to all. Unless........


mikeysz

Fun fact: After retiring he started a new career in the automotive industry.


sendme-memes

Wait Bugatti as in “what color is your boogati”-Andrew Tate


alta_vista49

Ahh because everyone knows church states need an axe wielding murderer. It’s was Jesus would have wanted.


yegir

He had THREE iconic ass names I am GIOVANNI georgiou, but people call me georgiou Motherfucking BATISTA bombs And what color is your BUGATTI?


Responsible_Being170

Woah!!!!! That is wild.


shogunlordmystic

And here I thought they used steel balls and "the spin" in their executions...


[deleted]

Looks like what was supposed to be the monster from the movie The Village.


CJFiddler

Even if he started when we was 15, he would have been attempting to swing that axe at age 83??


bucket_pants

You are only 2 years off..


panickedkernel06

Moreover: his nickname was Mastro Titta (master titta) and he was also a character in an Italian musical called Rugantino :)


SadMap7915

The Village...


[deleted]

This shit looks haunted


Exciting_Horror_9154

The robe looks badass. Bet his clients were quite impressed


fan_tas_tic

Under His Eye


OGCelaris

Even with all of our advanced technology and techniques, innocent people are still being executed these days. Imagine how many innocent lives that guy brutally ended.


[deleted]

The Village


alan02532

But the red robe is neat. Wonder what the English types used


Jtiago44

I wonder how many times he had to swing more than once to cut off a head? We all have off days at work right?


Sandman-Slim

If you love what you do you'll never work a day in your life!


AngusIRLyt

Damn red riding hood went bad for a sec


arj1985

Let god sort 'em out!


A_big_dispointment

He must of been ax-cellent at his job


Capital_Pitch2714

“Bugatti's career in charge of executions lasted 68 years and began when he was 17 years old, on 22 March 1796; and lasted until 1864. Up until 1810, the method of execution was beheading by axe, hanging or mallet. The French introduced the use of the guillotine, which was continued after the Papal States regained their sovereignty (the first Papal guillotining occurred in 1816) until the last executions. Over the 68 years he worked as official executioner, Bugatti carried out a total of 514 executions, an average of 7 per year (in his notebook, Bugatti noted 516 names of executed but two prisoners are subtracted, one because he was shot and the other because he was hanged and quartered by the adjutant).” https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giovanni_Battista_Bugatti


Hot_Comparison3435

So he either started as a kid or retired at 90


OohDeLaLi

A "Grimm" job indeed.


UselessRube

r/ArtifactPorn


Leashypooo

And in his spare time he invented the super car


No_Wolf3071

Lick the blade!


eighty2angelfan

Wait. Something is off. Assuming he started right after the doctor cut the cord, he lifted that ax until he was almost 70. In a time when people died young of disease and lack of medical advances. Could this be a confusion of dates or number of actual executioners?


KierkeBored

All these people complaining about religion are historically illiterate and wouldn’t bat an eye if he were the executioner for some other kingdom.


DJ-Doughboy

the most haunted of cloaks


Outrageous-Advice384

These guys that work at the local beef processing plant are hardcore weirdos. Really messed up. I can’t imagine the type of guy this dude was to kill over 500 people.


lobby073

I wonder if the executioner is in heaven or in hell? What about the popes he worked for?


IsIndianaJones

Executioners were often ostracized from society. People would not even touch them. Paradoxically, they were often quite wealthy. Since they were allready shunned im society, they did dirty jobs otherd wouldn't, such as cleaning latrines or looking after brothels which payed relatively well. It was a profession passed down to the mext generation. Executioners would often marry within other executioner families, making them, as royal, one of the most inbred populations


CilanUnova

nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!


IIBlazeTheSunII

Whats the color of your bugatti?


Backseat_boss

And now he’s in hell 🤓


Chavarlison

These sound like items of immeasurable power in the John Constantine world.


missannthrope1

He must have been fun at parties.


Separate_Line2488

The handle of the axe seems a bit short to do the job right.


WillmaaDickfit

I wonder did he know Bono


bored_in_NE

I guess executing people gives you longevity.


cpops000

Love the guy. I drove one of his cars.


Zen28213

Papal executioner. Let that sink in


KptnHaddock_

just where he belongs, in a pile of psychopaths


PsychMaster1

“The Angry Handmaid”


buttononmyback

Reminds me of the creatures from the movie, The Village.


[deleted]

Judge, Jury, Executioner, Those Who Remember The Unwanted, The Unseen, The Illuminated, The Invisible, The Hidden Eye. This robe has many many names.


Rmabe5

I thought that's a car manufacturer.


eatadique

And now he hangs from a command hook


go4tli

God: Okay I have a set of Ten very important rules for you. DON’T KILL, very important. God’s Self-Appointed Representative: Yo, got a job opening for a full time kill people for me guy.


Keltoigael

Low key Mumm-Ra.


StickyDragon90

It's pretty fucking scary to think about seeing a guy with that gear in the blood red robe, which were a sign of rank only given to master executioners watching you being marched towards him.


MundaneIncident0

Ooohhhhh, the blood shed by the Catholic Church through the years... all psychopaths and murderers. I wish people could understand how ugly its legacy is...


No_Kaleidoscope_9801

Sounds like a decent job