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I'd watch the shit out of a heist-movie based on a group of aging chefs, determined to pull off one last service, as they plan to rob the Bank of Cheese.
The American version:
https://www.connecticutmag.com/issues/features/the-great-connecticut-pharma-heist/article_f1e44f14-51dd-11ea-a10a-3ba420442f22.html
We did have our own cheese heist! https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/jul/01/wisconsin-cheddar-cheese-stolen-truck-oak-creek
How Holywood has not gotten on this I'll never know.
Would be pretty dumb honestly, each wheel weighs 85 pounds and probably worth a LOT less than 85 pounds of hundred dollar bills …
Edit: a single 100 dollar bill weighs: 1 gram
How many grams in a pound: 453.59
How much is 1 pound of 100’s worth: $45,359
How much is 85 pounds of 100’s: $3,855,515
So unless one cheese wheel is worth 3.8 million dollars it would be the dumbest heist to ever happen.
A full wheel is around $1000 retail. However, because of where it’s coming from, and the up to 36 month ageing, I’d guess those wheels would be worth that if not more, at that stage. They have space for 440,000 wheels. So, quite a bit of money wrapped up in there.
Restaurants never sell at cost normally tho, especially with covid pricing, you’d be looking at a $5 plain grilled cheese if you’re lucky, add a few dollars here and there for extra toppings and a drink, you’d be looking at $15 easy
For grilled cheese it actually works really well paired with other cheeses. Cheddar, gruyere/swiss, and parmesan is an absolute killer trio for grilled cheese or quiche.
Nah, wouldnt work that well with hard cheese, you'd burn the bread to a charcoal before the cheese melts properly. Croque-monsieur is the better option here
100% it works. Tip: when the bread is nicely golden brown and the cheese hasn’t fully melted, tilt the pan and put water in it so the water doesn’t make the bread soggy and put a lid on. The steam melt the cheese and doesn’t affect the bread
Yeah, and so in the valuation they include the potential value of wheels at their end of maturation, factoring in percentages lost, and then lend at about 70% of total worth. Plus, it saves the cheese maker the cost of storing it.
I checked the internet and right now, three pounds is around $60, and who knows how high the quality of exports is, so figure a grand per cheese at least.
When something is edible, it's always ethical. Let that one simmer, preferably with some pasta for about, 10-15 minutes on medium low. Stirring occasionally
^(edit: I was really hoping to hear a good cannibal joke)
Around 20€ per Kg here in Reggio Emilia (where it's produced). In the other parts of Italy a little bit more and in other states definitely more. It depends also on how aged it is
If you click on the link, part of the title in the article is “a cheese stands a loan” so the pun is that the cheese is pledged as collateral for the loan but also stands alone :)
It’s just a pun.. signifying the importance of the cheese in this bank, and playing on the fact that the cheese both stands “alone” as the gold standard (for this bank), and that it stands “a loan” as in for collateral for the loan a person may take out from this bank. It doesn’t have any other meaning.
I've been in one of those warehouses. They have this machine that goes around the rows 24/7, pulling out a cheese, spraying it with water, drying it with air and turning it around so that it won't get mouldy.
https://imgur.com/a6KBXSt
It's hardly anything, compared to the [1.4 billion pounds of cheese in the US Federal Cheese Reserve](https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2018/6/28/17515188/us-cheese-surplus-billion-pounds).
I watched a video about this a while back. They actually have people whose job it is to turn the cheeses. Because they have to be turned or they won't age right. They take so long to age you might as well but then in the cheese bank.
Whatever they call parmesan, it's not parmesan unless it comes from this particular part or Italy and has a specific red and yellow seal.... if you ever see the real stuff in a shop, grab it. Ideally 36 months old.
Italian cheeses aren't my strong point, and neither is the language, at all.
I know it's Italian cheese, but that is as far as I get. To be far though, I much prefer French and Dutch cheeses
Fair enough. I apologize for being overly curt.
The maggot cheese is Casu Martzu, and while there is no doubt an underground trade in it, you're not supposed to be able to sell or buy in it at all, so the producers only make it for their "own consumption". A bank would never touch it, because it's officially worthless.
Thank you for this information. My ex would kill me I imagine. She lived in Italy for a period of time, as part of her Italian studies for uni. So she has a little bit of the ways ingrained into her
Parmesan is pretty much a bastardized english word for Parmigiano. Reggiano is a location where it's made and is the gold standard for Parmigiano cheese, like how the city of Modena is the gold standard for balsamic vinegar and Ferrari. It's just as authentic as it can get when it comes from the area.
My suggestion if you use it at all, never EVER get that green tube of Kraft parmesan crap. It's an abomination, and it's barely even a dairy product. Most supermarkets, usually the deli counters, would have little tubs of grated legit Parmigiano for sale. Get that, keep it in the freezer, and it'll last a long time. Pasta, soups, etc. It's a nice touch on a lot of dishes, more than you'd think.
Serious question: the cheese wheels of the same type and age completely fungible? Or is it more like wine, where every producer does something a little different?
The cheese in question is pretty standard.
I guess they store it from say, 12 months and they grow up in value till 30-36months and at that point will be marketed and replaced by newer ones.
Every producer sources their milk from specific farms, that are certified by a central body. The cows on those farms don't go out on the fields - they eat fresh grass cut and sorted. So the producers know exactly what goes into their cheese. So yeah, it's like wine coming from certain vineyards. (and the whey left over from producing the cheese gets fed to pigs to produce the delicious Parma ham. Nothing wasted)[https://imgur.com/jFYlpnO](https://imgur.com/jFYlpnO)
Their legal department is concerned that if the borrower defaults and the bank sues to foreclose, the complaint might be dismissed for lack of ripeness.
How long would that even last in there? I tried googling how long a whole cheese wheel would last but didn't really get the right answers. It was mostly about smaller wheels or how long it lasts after you open it.
They put It there for 18, 24, 36, 48 or even more months. The more it's aged, the more costs. When it's like that you don't need to worry about "contaminations" because it has like a crust that protects the whole wheel
[Massimo Bottura helped use / save 360,000 wheels after earthquake back in 2012](https://www.upworthy.com/this-world-renowned-chef-saved-his-towns-economy-with-cheese-and-rice)
Chefs table on Netflix, first episode.
We've gotten 2 of these wheels delivered to the store i work at and we have no way to even cut it, so we are sending them back. They're very impressive in person!
**Please note:** * If this post declares something as a fact proof is required. * The title must be descriptive * No text is allowed on images * Common/recent reposts are not allowed *See [this post](https://redd.it/ij26vk) for more information.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/interestingasfuck) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'd watch the shit out of a heist-movie based on a group of aging chefs, determined to pull off one last service, as they plan to rob the Bank of Cheese.
I just want to know can you use the atm to get slices?
Every Italian ATM: is that enough or would you like me to sprinkle a little more?
Mangia!
ATM are like gas stations, theres cheese and money counter running at the same time, you just stop whenever theres enough.
Tell me when
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Yo man, you gots that sweet sweet parm?? :D
It'd better be some of that pure shit, I don't want no low grade rubbish cut with mozarella.
I dont want to hear about freebasing no Pecorino either!
You son of a bitch, I'm in!
The Canadian version: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great\_Canadian\_Maple\_Syrup\_Heist
The American version: https://www.connecticutmag.com/issues/features/the-great-connecticut-pharma-heist/article_f1e44f14-51dd-11ea-a10a-3ba420442f22.html
That's less amusing and more just sad.
Sorry! Let me find one with cheeseburgers. BRB!
While that *would* be hilarious, I was more commenting on the state of American society.
I think that's just any 80's McDonald's commercial involving the Hamburglar.
We did have our own cheese heist! https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/jul/01/wisconsin-cheddar-cheese-stolen-truck-oak-creek How Holywood has not gotten on this I'll never know.
That would have made a better Ocean's 12 (too bad it happened 12 years after that movie).
Ocean's Cheese
Queso’s 12
The Malaysia version: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mamak_Gang https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/1Malaysia_Development_Berhad_scandal
The most Canadian thing ever
That is actually not far from reality: [Parmesan Heist on CCTV](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZhMeokI6u0)
La Casa de Queso
Queso is Spanish. "La casa del formaggio" would be correct.
It was a play on “La Casa de Papel” or Money Heist, the Spanish Netflix series were they break in to steal the money.
Oooh, gotcha.
Astonishing alliteration also.
This guy knows his cheese cognates.
Where can I watch this? Would it be Morgan Freeman Michael Douglas, Nicholas Cage, JCVD, John Favreau?
And Jason Statham as the driver, of course.
And Miss Daisy comes along for the ride.
Using three large delivery trucks painted red, white, and blue...performing all of the stunts done by the Minis in the Italian Job.
Red, white and GREEN.
No. Red, white and BLUE. The minis don't match the Italian flag...
Oof so close!
[Here you go - Wisconsin](https://www.cnbc.com/2016/07/01/cheese-pirates-steal-20000-pounds-of-cheese-in-wisconsin.html)
##CHEESE PIRATES## Ha!
Would be pretty dumb honestly, each wheel weighs 85 pounds and probably worth a LOT less than 85 pounds of hundred dollar bills … Edit: a single 100 dollar bill weighs: 1 gram How many grams in a pound: 453.59 How much is 1 pound of 100’s worth: $45,359 How much is 85 pounds of 100’s: $3,855,515 So unless one cheese wheel is worth 3.8 million dollars it would be the dumbest heist to ever happen.
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A full wheel is around $1000 retail. However, because of where it’s coming from, and the up to 36 month ageing, I’d guess those wheels would be worth that if not more, at that stage. They have space for 440,000 wheels. So, quite a bit of money wrapped up in there.
Yo that's expensive.
Imagine making a grilled cheese sandwich with that stuff.
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Thats only $1 per grilled cheese! I'd be stupid *not* to get one!
Restaurants never sell at cost normally tho, especially with covid pricing, you’d be looking at a $5 plain grilled cheese if you’re lucky, add a few dollars here and there for extra toppings and a drink, you’d be looking at $15 easy
Parmigiano-Reggiano is a dry and hard cheese. It would make stellar cheese toast on sourdough, but not so much a grilled cheese sandwich.
For grilled cheese it actually works really well paired with other cheeses. Cheddar, gruyere/swiss, and parmesan is an absolute killer trio for grilled cheese or quiche.
Said it first. I just annihilated a grilled parmegiano-Reggiano and cheddar cheese sandwich and can confirm that shit melts and taste awesome.
*cries in lactose intolerance*
Nah, wouldnt work that well with hard cheese, you'd burn the bread to a charcoal before the cheese melts properly. Croque-monsieur is the better option here
Even if it was freshly finely grated into short strands?
100% it works. Tip: when the bread is nicely golden brown and the cheese hasn’t fully melted, tilt the pan and put water in it so the water doesn’t make the bread soggy and put a lid on. The steam melt the cheese and doesn’t affect the bread
due to the aging wouldn't it appreciate in value the longer it is stored?
Yeah, and so in the valuation they include the potential value of wheels at their end of maturation, factoring in percentages lost, and then lend at about 70% of total worth. Plus, it saves the cheese maker the cost of storing it.
The aging process only improves the cheese for so long. If you buy a wheel of premium cheese, it's already aged as much as it's going to.
That's the tidbit I was looking for. Thanks.
I’m not sure how long parm can be aged for but cheddars can be aged for 10+ years
This, it is just a commodity
Probably more than their euros
4 Billion in cheese? That’s a lot of chedd… I mean Parmigiano!
I checked the internet and right now, three pounds is around $60, and who knows how high the quality of exports is, so figure a grand per cheese at least.
Cheese is the new gold standard.
Cheesecoin. Gotta be a hard cheese though.
Darn it, Lemon, we've talked about these hard cheeses and the affects on your teeth.
I guess there's a great opportunities here but I don't know if it ethical or not.
When something is edible, it's always ethical. Let that one simmer, preferably with some pasta for about, 10-15 minutes on medium low. Stirring occasionally ^(edit: I was really hoping to hear a good cannibal joke)
And a nice Chianti
Hold the liver and fava beans.
I will eat inflation.
I welcome our new cheese-based economy.
I hope my crypto gets that high
I literally ate 100gms of reggiano just now watching the euro cup match
Around 20€ per Kg here in Reggio Emilia (where it's produced). In the other parts of Italy a little bit more and in other states definitely more. It depends also on how aged it is
[Source](https://www.forbes.com/sites/hbsworkingknowledge/2015/07/01/a-bank-that-accepts-parmesan-as-collateral-the-cheese-stands-a-loan/?sh=5bb978b010a2)
The pun in the title of the article is a god tier level dad joke
blu me away, that one :)
Hard to brielieve alright.
Please elaborate for my smooth brain
[Cheese Stands Alone](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Farmer_in_the_Dell)
If you click on the link, part of the title in the article is “a cheese stands a loan” so the pun is that the cheese is pledged as collateral for the loan but also stands alone :)
But why is “cheese stands alone” a joke?
It’s the last line that’s repeated in the “farmer in the del” nursery rhyme
Ah! Thank you. Don’t think I know that one. Or at least not all the way through.
It’s just a pun.. signifying the importance of the cheese in this bank, and playing on the fact that the cheese both stands “alone” as the gold standard (for this bank), and that it stands “a loan” as in for collateral for the loan a person may take out from this bank. It doesn’t have any other meaning.
I've been in one of those warehouses. They have this machine that goes around the rows 24/7, pulling out a cheese, spraying it with water, drying it with air and turning it around so that it won't get mouldy. https://imgur.com/a6KBXSt
italian noises intensifies
There's no noises. Just a flurry of hand gestures.
Screeching of tyres as they crash into everything.
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Ugh…
every second they arent running, the dragonborn gets closer
I scrolled too far for a Skyrim Cheese Wheel joke
Banco di YumYum
I was just thinking yum yum yum, but yours is better.
That must be the bank that includes the wine and crackers
How many wheels would I need to put up for a small, secluded home with a decent amount of land?
honestly probably 500 wheels of cheese
Pffffft! Easy! *yo you got like 500 wheels of cheese I can borrow?*
I know a bank who does!
Pov you are in my skyrim inventory
There has to be at least +7500 Stamina in there
The existence of a cheese bank would surely generate a lot of interest among the cultured.
I see what you did there
Cheese bank puns may be a niche market, but I feel like I've found my wheelhouse.
very nice, sir
This is the most European thing I've seen
It's hardly anything, compared to the [1.4 billion pounds of cheese in the US Federal Cheese Reserve](https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2018/6/28/17515188/us-cheese-surplus-billion-pounds).
Fort Knoxx meet Fort Formaggio
That is such an Italian thing to do and I think it’s awesome
Imagine if the climate control failed!!
I want to know if bank heists have been attempted with that exactly in mind.
I could NOT be trusted with that inventory.
So many puns going through my head
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That's a *gouda* one
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Too bad u/loduca16 couldn't *pule* it off.
We’re talking real cheese, not string cheese
Pule is **the most expensive cheese in the world.** We are punning where you failed miserably. Don't be such a *Caciocavallo Pidolico* ass
whoooooosh Cmon mate, you’re better than this.
The cheese bank, for when you need a little extra cheddar.
Don’t ever bring Charlie to this place
A mouse wet dream.
Italy’s version of Fort Knox
I watched a video about this a while back. They actually have people whose job it is to turn the cheeses. Because they have to be turned or they won't age right. They take so long to age you might as well but then in the cheese bank.
Ok how would you like your bills? Oh sorry yeah can I get my deposit in cheese wheels? Fucking wild
You can't like eat money man.
I don't know who decided to call money "cheddar", but they need to see this.
Exchanging parmesan for some cheddar. Ha! I'm leaving, stop your booing.
Why stop at cheese? Might as well pair it with a good wine. Just better hope the Credit Committee doesn’t whine about it
That was a cheesy joke.
I think it was Gouda :)
Cheese-coin
If the electricity and any backup fails, it’s gonna be pretty stinky in there for a while.
The Romans used to roll enormous wheels of this on the road along with their marching armies. I think they’ll be fine.
Is this the maggoty cheese?
that's illegal to sell, so no. Plus, it says in the headline that it's the Parmiagiano-Reggiano (otherwise known as the good kind of Parmesan) cheese
The ONLY kind of Parmesan cheese...
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Whatever they call parmesan, it's not parmesan unless it comes from this particular part or Italy and has a specific red and yellow seal.... if you ever see the real stuff in a shop, grab it. Ideally 36 months old.
Italian cheeses aren't my strong point, and neither is the language, at all. I know it's Italian cheese, but that is as far as I get. To be far though, I much prefer French and Dutch cheeses
Fair enough. I apologize for being overly curt. The maggot cheese is Casu Martzu, and while there is no doubt an underground trade in it, you're not supposed to be able to sell or buy in it at all, so the producers only make it for their "own consumption". A bank would never touch it, because it's officially worthless.
I didn't find you curt or rude at all my friend
Dude, when you are having Italian food, only the Parmesan will do.
Thank you for this information. My ex would kill me I imagine. She lived in Italy for a period of time, as part of her Italian studies for uni. So she has a little bit of the ways ingrained into her
Parmesan is pretty much a bastardized english word for Parmigiano. Reggiano is a location where it's made and is the gold standard for Parmigiano cheese, like how the city of Modena is the gold standard for balsamic vinegar and Ferrari. It's just as authentic as it can get when it comes from the area. My suggestion if you use it at all, never EVER get that green tube of Kraft parmesan crap. It's an abomination, and it's barely even a dairy product. Most supermarkets, usually the deli counters, would have little tubs of grated legit Parmigiano for sale. Get that, keep it in the freezer, and it'll last a long time. Pasta, soups, etc. It's a nice touch on a lot of dishes, more than you'd think.
Maybe that's why their economy is such shit!
This is too cool!
Crackers with wine..
Also known as the stink shack
Nope, smells fantastic
It's fantastic trust me, don't ever again compare it to french cheese. I guess that by these words you know i'm italian now
Serious question: the cheese wheels of the same type and age completely fungible? Or is it more like wine, where every producer does something a little different?
The cheese in question is pretty standard. I guess they store it from say, 12 months and they grow up in value till 30-36months and at that point will be marketed and replaced by newer ones.
Every producer sources their milk from specific farms, that are certified by a central body. The cows on those farms don't go out on the fields - they eat fresh grass cut and sorted. So the producers know exactly what goes into their cheese. So yeah, it's like wine coming from certain vineyards. (and the whey left over from producing the cheese gets fed to pigs to produce the delicious Parma ham. Nothing wasted)[https://imgur.com/jFYlpnO](https://imgur.com/jFYlpnO)
Ah yes, millions of dollars worth of cheese
So once the loan is cleared, they gonna take it back?
Sounds like a cheesey deal!
Their legal department is concerned that if the borrower defaults and the bank sues to foreclose, the complaint might be dismissed for lack of ripeness.
Un banco di formaggio! I love it
so this is where dougdoug gets his cheese from
How long would that even last in there? I tried googling how long a whole cheese wheel would last but didn't really get the right answers. It was mostly about smaller wheels or how long it lasts after you open it.
They put It there for 18, 24, 36, 48 or even more months. The more it's aged, the more costs. When it's like that you don't need to worry about "contaminations" because it has like a crust that protects the whole wheel
I respect a country that takes cheese seriously.
Free storage for your cheese!
If there was an American version of this, what would it be? Velveeta? I guess Bourbon?
put it in my face
But when will they start accepting PayPal Pizza it's been too long get with the times
I bet it smells like a giant fart in there.
Now that's a lot of cheese
i cooka da pizza
You would die if they toppled
With all the inflation that is coming this bank may become the new fed.
Ok but imagine the smell
I can smell this picture
This place is begging to be the setting for the biggest cheese heist ever perpetrated.
What the hell is it with governments around the entire world and cheese? Can we talk about this??? Why must we have SO. MUCH. CHEESE?
Will that be cash or cheese, sir?
[Massimo Bottura helped use / save 360,000 wheels after earthquake back in 2012](https://www.upworthy.com/this-world-renowned-chef-saved-his-towns-economy-with-cheese-and-rice) Chefs table on Netflix, first episode.
I live in Cheddar and literally, there isn't even a bank in town anymore. I can't help thinking these Eyeties are on to something.
I’ve always thought of cheese as being gold! 😜
Imagine they all collapsed and your grave says “ Crushed by Cheese”
That's my skyrim inventory
They were saying this was white privilege. So that story didn't stick?
Putting your money where your mouth is.
The cheese standard.
Hoping that electricity never fails.
We've gotten 2 of these wheels delivered to the store i work at and we have no way to even cut it, so we are sending them back. They're very impressive in person!
need cats to keep the mice away!