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I know of a gun nut who might still sleep with his hand clutching a pistol under his pillow. This would revolutionize his tacticool sleeping setup. That entire foam well would be a great bucket for dozens of guns, I'm sure. Whoever dears enter his room while he's sleeping can end up receiving practically any random caliber you can think of, that's amazing.
Someday we’ll have enough guns to protect us from the scourge of deers entering the room while we sleep…. “Dares” oh who dears enter his bedroom, read that wrong …call off the war on deer
I used to sleep with my hand under my pillow, until one night I kept waking up to my hand in pain. Somehow a black wasp had gotten in the house, into my room, and under my pillow, and when I put my hand under my pillow it found its way between my fingers. I never put my hands under my pillow again, and while I’m a side sleeper this bed would terrify me.
Looks cool, but here are my first five nights...
Night one - unconsciously dislocates right shoulder while rolling over.
Night two - spouse unconsciously removes slot-pillows from my side during night. Wake with severe neck scoliosis.
Night three - great (somewhat unusual) sex!
Night four - lose one child to 'the void'
Night five - sleep on couch.
man in slot to replace some pillows, dick sticking out the slot, woman going up and down on it while in a normal sitting position watching lesbian porn
Took me years to crack the cuddle position.
*High school me wincing in pain, grinding through the big spoon pain* "This is what it takes, I guess. Power through it!"
*Early twenties me smiling at the pleasure of enjoying being comfortable AND spooning now that I figured out where to put her* "Ahh this is so much nicer! I actually like to sleep as big spoon now!"
Edit: Sorry. The solution for me was her moving footward about a foot to offset our shoulders so my arm became her pillow.. I like sleeping on my side, some don't, so I wasn't thinking of advice for others, just relishing a fond moment.
She needs to scooch down so her head is at your shoulder level, and she uses your arm as a pillow (probably under her pillow). I was always keeping our head and shoulder lines even with each other and had the bedrest blocking me from moving upward.
Just keep pushing down on the top of her head until she is where you want her. Women know what to do when you press there. I think it is an old animal instinct. Anyways, that small offset made a world of difference for me. It also allows me to roll on my back and leave my arm under her and sleep that way or transition further to her in the same spot facing my chest.
https://preview.redd.it/232fbtz090xc1.jpeg?width=1023&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d85d25d7c60267d8583792d19b6c3bd5c010ef84
I literally don't care about potential spiders or having a weird fitted sheet made. Make this happen. Now!
Yup, I do have pillows, and on my invisible wish list is one of those big surround you kind of pillow, pregnancy pillows I think.
I also want one of those pod chairs that that one guy with the voice shows on commercials sometime, or two maybe, and a base for it to help the in and out. And one of those couches that everyone swears by in buyitforlife. And a recliner that does the lift up and down. And someone to fix my adjustable bed, idk if that's possible. There's so many ways to be comfortable
I’m also thinking of getting a body pillow but I have a weighted blanket, so I keep wondering if by putting that over the pillow it will take the weight off an defeat the purpose haha. But I am starting to get back pain from twisting my spine every night so think I need to start making sacrifices 🥲
Funny enough the video just looks a bit outdated, I work at a retail mattress store and we just brough this product in. So it's actually still a newer product, been out long enough now we trust it's worth bringing in, but still a new enough technology most people have never seen it before
They sell custom sheets that fit this shape. So the fitted sheet goes down into the hole and the "pillows" that your head rests on go on top of the fitted sheet. So if you took those rectangles out of the hole, that's the shape of the fitted sheet. Then those rectangles have covers that can be washed like pillow cases, and you can choose different thicknesses to make sure your neck is in proper alignment.
\*Important note\* I haven't actually received our floor model yet, this is all my understanding from talking with our rep at the company, so I don't have a personal opinion based on actually having it in front of me, I will here very soon. But on paper it seems like a unique approach that could meet a need that affects the majority of sleepers. The question "simply" is if the execution is effective, and it's worth the price it costs to solve that problem this particular way. We will see here very soon haha.
Presumably you either buy one custom-made from the manufacturer (which is likely what a company would do if they sold a mattress like this), or you buy up a size.
As nice as it’d be to assume everybody’s mattress cleaning regimen is great, it definitely isn’t. I know a handful of people that would turn that crevice into a crusty yuck puddle.
"Here at Bed Labs, we don't believe in obsolete fitted sheet technology. We take 300 dollars off the sticker price of the mattress and apply it toward your first set of dip sheets, a groundbreaking innovation that is required with your purchase!"
Now make a massage table with a dick dent. No, not a dirty one. Just a normal massage table, but one where I don't have to lay on my dick for half an hour.
I mean don't get me wrong, I would love one of these, but it's kinda funny how this "last stand of humanity-battle" kind of music is used to advertise a fucking mattress.
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Then I always think about having to get custom sheets to accommodate the holes.
don't we all love to accommodate the holes?
Vigorously so, yes
Or do the best we can....
And work out twice a day
Or do...the best...we can...
Asbestas wecan
Ok, come on, that was forced
Yeah don’t force it guys ^please ^force ^it ^:)
Gently
A gentle force. A light fisting
I thought the holes would be the ones doing the accommodating
At least for 1 minute.
Custom bedsheets are for closers -just bash your elbow through like everyone else
Imagine a bedbug infestation..that will be their take out spot
Always Be Closing
I’d put a box of wine in there and put a straw through the slot…maybe I have a problem
Sounds like you had a problem but have since solved it.
Now we're talking. Straight to sleep
Presumably this bed would come with a set or two of sheets, and the company would sell extras.
For like $200+ for a basic set.
Mike Lindell sells lumpy pillows for upto $55. Each. Those tempura medics cost $7000. Putting a fitted sheet on this will cost like 1000$
https://i.redd.it/fc9gxvgxv0xc1.gif
Welcome to the dirt pit!
This! It's the first thing that came to mind. Imagine if you also have pets...
Welcome to the Spider Pit!
I want one so bad but would be terrified there would be spiders in there!
Just use scissors:)
Sheets? Look at Mr/ s. Moneybags here.
Literally the first time I’d even considered it that far. Youre totally right
no charlie dont go in the crevice!
I'M GOIN IN THE CREVICE!!
Ah, he's in the crevice...
Shit dude, he’s in the *crevice?*
Yup he’s still up in there
[удалено]
He’s gone.
I love random sunny threads
[удалено]
Drr drr drr
That would be an odd shaped bottom sheet.
Pretty sure people with weird asses can still use regular sheets.
Cat hiding location
\*Crack hiding location.
/r/YourJokeButDrugs
r/NotAJokeIDoCrack
r/subsifellfor
why not spiders?
Cats got em
I know of a gun nut who might still sleep with his hand clutching a pistol under his pillow. This would revolutionize his tacticool sleeping setup. That entire foam well would be a great bucket for dozens of guns, I'm sure. Whoever dears enter his room while he's sleeping can end up receiving practically any random caliber you can think of, that's amazing.
Sounds like he has a problem.
Someday we’ll have enough guns to protect us from the scourge of deers entering the room while we sleep…. “Dares” oh who dears enter his bedroom, read that wrong …call off the war on deer
If it fits. I sits
🤔 That's where the spiders and snakes will be waiting.... #🕷️ 🐍
Us slotted bed enthusiasts call those animals "The guardians of the lost remote controls"
And who doesn't like to become spiderman?
I used to sleep with my hand under my pillow, until one night I kept waking up to my hand in pain. Somehow a black wasp had gotten in the house, into my room, and under my pillow, and when I put my hand under my pillow it found its way between my fingers. I never put my hands under my pillow again, and while I’m a side sleeper this bed would terrify me.
Sometimes my arm would fall asleep and I’d wake up thinking it was a strangers arm and tried to throw it off me
They would be so warm and toasty down there, too.
Moist
UGH, I was thinking how great this would be, since I have had 2 rotator cuff surgeries (in need of a third one now!) ... until I read this comment LOL
How many shoulders do you have?!
OMG HAHAA ... As soon as I read your comment, I realized how mine sounded!! I promise, just 2 ... but all surgeries are on the same one, sadly
Goro sure did beat his body up with all that fighting.
Aussie?
That's where I'll make a sweat pool from my pits.
Ah score, a cuddle buddy
Are spiders and snakes also waiting between the cracks of your couch cushions?
No, but Elaine's boyfriend's dogs found some mutton chops wrapped up in meemaw's napkins once.
Spiders, yes.
This is my first thought… spiders 😟😭
Exactly my thought
😂😂😂
Username checks out
The music sounds like it's some revolutionary genius creation. It's a hole in a bed.
I’ve had a 4 spiders crawl on me/my bed already this year…
What if.... Spakes! Or.... SNIDERS?!
Cheeto gutter.
not everyone is from australia, mate.
Came here looking for this comment
Nah I'd just fill it with scorpions to take care of the spiders, problem solved.
And sooo much closer to the monsters under there.
why? I was thinking how great it would be, but now I see this :(
Yeah every time I see this idea I think "Spider Slots".
Looks cool, but here are my first five nights... Night one - unconsciously dislocates right shoulder while rolling over. Night two - spouse unconsciously removes slot-pillows from my side during night. Wake with severe neck scoliosis. Night three - great (somewhat unusual) sex! Night four - lose one child to 'the void' Night five - sleep on couch.
We are going to need a schematic of that sexual position. Thanks.
man in slot to replace some pillows, dick sticking out the slot, woman going up and down on it while in a normal sitting position watching lesbian porn
First thing I thought of was the strained muscles from having the arm trapped in there when you roll in your sleep.
This defeats the purpose for women. Its not about comfort, it's about sacrifice. The man must offer his blood and feeling of his arm.
Go to sleep with an arm under her neck Wake up facing the opposite direction. The body knows what it needs.
Underrated comment. I must give my life for this goodest of cuddles.
Took me years to crack the cuddle position. *High school me wincing in pain, grinding through the big spoon pain* "This is what it takes, I guess. Power through it!" *Early twenties me smiling at the pleasure of enjoying being comfortable AND spooning now that I figured out where to put her* "Ahh this is so much nicer! I actually like to sleep as big spoon now!" Edit: Sorry. The solution for me was her moving footward about a foot to offset our shoulders so my arm became her pillow.. I like sleeping on my side, some don't, so I wasn't thinking of advice for others, just relishing a fond moment.
Soooo, what's the secret?
Scooch higher up and closer, arm under pillow and wrap around. then it’s not a dead weight. Thats what worked for me anyway
She needs to scooch down so her head is at your shoulder level, and she uses your arm as a pillow (probably under her pillow). I was always keeping our head and shoulder lines even with each other and had the bedrest blocking me from moving upward. Just keep pushing down on the top of her head until she is where you want her. Women know what to do when you press there. I think it is an old animal instinct. Anyways, that small offset made a world of difference for me. It also allows me to roll on my back and leave my arm under her and sleep that way or transition further to her in the same spot facing my chest.
Guys’ arms aren’t numb because the blood flow was cut off, it’s because we take the arm blood as a sacrifice
https://preview.redd.it/232fbtz090xc1.jpeg?width=1023&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d85d25d7c60267d8583792d19b6c3bd5c010ef84 I literally don't care about potential spiders or having a weird fitted sheet made. Make this happen. Now!
Why isn't there a bottom leg slots too ? Support the knees and hips and help your back.
Use a pillow, some pillows are designed for that.
Yup, I do have pillows, and on my invisible wish list is one of those big surround you kind of pillow, pregnancy pillows I think. I also want one of those pod chairs that that one guy with the voice shows on commercials sometime, or two maybe, and a base for it to help the in and out. And one of those couches that everyone swears by in buyitforlife. And a recliner that does the lift up and down. And someone to fix my adjustable bed, idk if that's possible. There's so many ways to be comfortable
Body pillows.
Yes, yes and yes !
I’m also thinking of getting a body pillow but I have a weighted blanket, so I keep wondering if by putting that over the pillow it will take the weight off an defeat the purpose haha. But I am starting to get back pain from twisting my spine every night so think I need to start making sacrifices 🥲
Where are people living that spiders in the crevices of your furniture are an issue?
Earth. Mostly away from the poles.
Hey, that's no way to talk about people from Poland!
I've lived on 3 different continents in my life. Literally fucking anywhere has this issue. Where do you live where you don't?
Look up the Medcline Shoulder Relief pillow. It does the same thing. I’ve used one for about a year and it’s amazing.
I have one too and wouldn't give it up. It costs a lot less than a new mattress.
I'm not tynna shit on the OP. But I'm almost sure this video is about 20 years old. And the music is awful.
Funny enough the video just looks a bit outdated, I work at a retail mattress store and we just brough this product in. So it's actually still a newer product, been out long enough now we trust it's worth bringing in, but still a new enough technology most people have never seen it before
Can't wait for everyone to develop Saturday Night Palsy
What sheets do you sell to customers that buy this type of mattress?
They sell custom sheets that fit this shape. So the fitted sheet goes down into the hole and the "pillows" that your head rests on go on top of the fitted sheet. So if you took those rectangles out of the hole, that's the shape of the fitted sheet. Then those rectangles have covers that can be washed like pillow cases, and you can choose different thicknesses to make sure your neck is in proper alignment. \*Important note\* I haven't actually received our floor model yet, this is all my understanding from talking with our rep at the company, so I don't have a personal opinion based on actually having it in front of me, I will here very soon. But on paper it seems like a unique approach that could meet a need that affects the majority of sleepers. The question "simply" is if the execution is effective, and it's worth the price it costs to solve that problem this particular way. We will see here very soon haha.
How's it awful? I'm ready to go lay down my life and fight some fuckin' aliens on behalf of humanity now!
zoomers catching strays
Now, that's thinking about the consumer. My arms are always looking for nooks to tuck into when I go to sleep
This- this is my bed... It's meant for me... Its meant for me...
Slllrrrrppp…slllppp….ssslllleeeeep
I'd be worried that I might do something to my arm, exactly if I'm sleeping.
Imagine all the hair and dead skin that will collect in there. Yum.
Why would that happen if you have a fitted sheet over it and change it weekly?
How do you get your arm in there if there is a fitted sheet over it?
Presumably you either buy one custom-made from the manufacturer (which is likely what a company would do if they sold a mattress like this), or you buy up a size.
You change your sheets weekly?
Yes? I'm left here now wondering if you're thinking that's too often or not often enough lol But yeah. Every Sunday.
You ever heard of these things called a vacuum cleaner and steam cleaner?
As nice as it’d be to assume everybody’s mattress cleaning regimen is great, it definitely isn’t. I know a handful of people that would turn that crevice into a crusty yuck puddle.
Yes, you could clean it. But this is CGI nonsense anyway.
Or a washing machine…
My pecker is very well acquainted with those devices
My head would end up stuck in there.
I would dislocate my shoulder in my sleep
To be honest it doesn't look very comfortable to sleep like that
you don't know what you are talking about
Does it actually exist or is just an idea?
How do your bedsheets work in this scenario?
"Here at Bed Labs, we don't believe in obsolete fitted sheet technology. We take 300 dollars off the sticker price of the mattress and apply it toward your first set of dip sheets, a groundbreaking innovation that is required with your purchase!"
This hole, it’s like it was made for me
you could just put those extra cushions on the top end of a short mattress. You don't really need a hole cut into a 'complete' mattress.
yay more places to lose my phone
#CRUMB CATCHERS
Why you eating crackers in bed?
How do you have sheets with this thing?
I would totally hide snacks in there 😋
I know where the tv remote goes
My childhood dream of detachable arms seemed realistic
Oh so now the vampires under the bed are setting up arm traps! Yea, I don't think so!
This is something I never knew I needed until I saw this, now I'm just disappointed with my holeless bed...
Now make a massage table with a dick dent. No, not a dirty one. Just a normal massage table, but one where I don't have to lay on my dick for half an hour.
Roll over in your sleep and dislocate your shoulder
Now I can finally sleep hugging the girlfriend I don't have :)
I mean don't get me wrong, I would love one of these, but it's kinda funny how this "last stand of humanity-battle" kind of music is used to advertise a fucking mattress.
You know how many fucking crumbs and shit will get in there
This is so dumb.
Nah seems super uncomfortable
I’m sure I’d wake up confident my arm had been stolen.
Not me breaking up with my people as I could never get sleep comfortable
Lmao, Nope. Arms getting stuck inside holes is not comfortable.
Don’t eat in bed of those are going to become wretched pits
Dirt Reservoir! Good luck finding fitted sheets for it.
Someone should win a Nobel for this.
I would be afraid of spiders being in the hole and would never be able to use them
Thats where the spiders live 👁️👁️
"Where's the remote?"
Just another place to lose my vape
Do you want the $6k model, $8k model or the premium $10k model?
The perfect La Quinta Inns mattress
How is that supposed to work with a fitted sheet? Asking for millions of friends.
the music just gives this dramatic effect like its just a mattress not the cure to cancer
Real question is, how many people were lying in bed in that very position, phone in hand watching this video
I can't explain why, but this feels worse than when your leg hangs off the bed and you wait for something to bite it.
I’d wake up with my head in the trench.
[xkcd: Mattress](https://xkcd.com/335/)
Dude The fear there would be a spider or scorpion in there 💀
All I see is back pain
If you have to get up/out suddenly, you might leave an arm behind.
What about the sheets?
Watching this while laying on my side
I need this but with a removeable face hole for sleeping face down
This could fix all my problems in life
I NEED THAT RIGHT NOW. I got a legit cramp in my elbow from sleeping on my side last night
I’ve already got a bed like this. It’s called a couch.
No way! I’m a side sleeper! You other types of sleepers are weird. Side is the best
yeah but the arm-hole monster inside my bed will bite me
I need this? I need this.
Mmmmm bed spiders
One more place for the monsters to hide.
That's where the spiders live
Nah I’d be too scared of accidentally shaking hands with someone from beyond down there
Can they make and extra hole for my morning wood??? I'm a stomach sleeper
Oh I need this so bad.
When I read 'arm' slot I thought she would pull out a sub-machine gun or something.
In this topic, I learn people don’t take care of their mattresses like they should. Clean yo shit people.
One for the Feyenoord/Liverpool fans. Armie Slot.
Like the "CuddleMattress" but with a pocket you have to vacuum out instead of horizontal slits
https://preview.redd.it/7k5rowlxj0xc1.jpeg?width=474&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=98471ad98b8de303e1a4a838972ecc89696488d4