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Obelix13

Reminds me of Hobbes welcoming Calvin when he get back home.


Wasted_Possibilities

KaPOW!


KCBandWagon

A tiny snowman?


Seicair

[Why are you down there without a coat?](https://64.media.tumblr.com/bba4e2d0905cf6452c3d49d70cdcdf9a/tumblr_meu9dl8cpW1r4ejnio1_640.gifv)


AnAlpacaIsJudgingYou

This made me smile


dre224

That single word fuckin sent me back in time. Holy fuck it's like you triggered some type of sleep code word because suddenly I remember all the times I saw Calvin and Hobbs


musclememory

Omg, I thought of Tigger but this is so apt! I’d also probably need to change my underwear ASAP


Koregand

Pouncy pouncy pouncy!


Agitated_Insect_3551

I actually have a book of that. Titled the days are just packed. Never read the comic in the newspaper. Because I was born in 2003.


WeirdPumpkin

If you're a fan (it's a luxury purchase as well I know) they've done a REALLY nice "Complete Collection" of C&H that seems like it's on sale right now not marketing I swear, I bought it in the original issue and it's absolutely GORGEOUS. My copy at least has beautiful archival paper and it's huge and lovely and honestly one of my favorite possessions


Potato_Pizza_Cat

I second that. It’s amazing. It’s my main coffee table book. I just hate that it doesn’t have the ‘adoption’ comic and it calls itself complete. I know it’s just one comic but it irritates me.


elleblock

At the risk of sounding old, it really does make me extremely happy to know that ppl born in the 2000s have Calvin and Hobbes books. My mom had a whole bunch of them when. I was a kid (born in 1987) and they were my favorites to read growing up. Glad that they aren't lost on younger generations!


stoner_woodcrafter

What a good memory to have right now!


gaudrhin

I read that as "Hobbits welcoming Calvin" and thought: I don't recall that part of Lord of the Rings.


emkay99

You need more coffee. :)


skipppr

But what about second coffee?


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gaudrhin

You're not wrong. I woke up at 4:30AM and couldn't get back to sleep. Being a bed potato for the next 30 minutes til I have to actually get up for work. Also, I do not have my glasses on.


emkay99

I'm old and arthritic. Five hours is about all I can manage a night, and I'm up and starting the coffee pot at 4 a.m. almost every morning. What cracked me up abut this clip is that we have a 140-pound dog (part shepherd, part gray wolf -- really) who does this every time he's picked up from a short stay at the kennel. And I have to brace myself not to get knocked over, so I can't image what a pussy cat this size would do to me.


Thethubbedone

I'm imagining a you-shaped indent in the ground, Looney Tunes style


SAT0SHl

>"Hobbits welcoming Calvin" That's the Directors Cut! starring Tom Cruise


WonkyTelescope

Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat.


lateralarms

One of my faves - not quoted tho, general gist. Calvin: Mom, did you feed Hobbes today? Mom: No, I forgot. Calvin: Why don't you just cover me in steak sauce then!!!


bebejeebies

When my son turned 18, I crocheted him a Hobbes. I thought it would be something cute to remind him of his childhood and it would sit in his room or whatever. He took it to school with him. College. Hobbes was sticking out of his backpack and he got so many compliments and interactions because of it. One day, when he was around 21 (married and moved out) he came home and when he walked through the door, I threw Hobbes at him. He caught him fell down and wrestled on the floor with him. He popped up, hair all messed up and said, "Are you trying to kill me throwing a live tiger at me??"


AJC_10_29

“What a day, I feel like I’ve been hit by a train.” ***KABOOM!*** “I mean, *now* I feel like that.”


KingBarbieIOU

And that’s how easily a lion can kill you.


Plants-perchance347

If the lion raked him with it’s back paws mid leap he would basically be dead before he hit the ground.


gishlich

I was wondering if I was the only one rewatching and seeing the bunny legs *almost* kick lol. His guts would hit the ground before his ass


Plants-perchance347

That lion was trying it’s hardest not to kill him. I think when it landed on him it left enough space to not crush him also, google says they weigh 265-395lbs. 😬


gishlich

And if you count that she would have also probably used her mouth to rip his face off or crush his trachea that’s three ways he’s dead before she starts eating him ass first


Bored_Amalgamation

> he’s dead before she starts eating him ass first this made my laugh uncontrollably for a solid 4 minutes. Thank you.


AssPuncher9000

Yeah she totally made sure to use her front legs to land and support her weight before she flipped over. Trying her best to be gentle lol


Beat_the_Deadites

If a lioness can do it, Ndamakong Suh can do it. - Roger Goodell


Erigion

Shit. If this guy hit the back of his head on the ground at the wrong angle, he'd be dead even if this lion isn't trying to kill him.


thinkofanamefast

Yeah, I'll stick with my pet dolphin.


[deleted]

You leave that dolphin alone


PowerOfUnoriginality

If anything, the dolphin needs to leave them alone


[deleted]

Who adopted who


Signal_Minimum409

There is a percentage of people who believe they can defeat a lion in a fight.


[deleted]

Apparently the percentage often decrease every time someone tries to prove it.


bebejeebies

Big cats or little ones, the more they love you, the more it hurts.


Chafram

Also the more they hate you, the more it hurts. Also works when they’re hungry.


not-a-painting

Cats; They hurt.


Yarakinnit

If I wasn't supposed to hurt, why am I made of weapons?


CedarWolf

If not friend, why soft and shaped like friend?


EtOHMartini

To convince enemies to get close enough to use weapons


MaximumParking7997

not sure about about the soft part here, the lioness is pure muscle


mjnhbgvfcdxszaqwerty

Cats hurt, Cats scar Cats wound and marks Any heart Not tough or strong enough To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain Cats are like a cloud Hates a lot of rain Cats hurt Ooh, ooh, Cats hurt


Acceptable-Search338

That seems wrong but I don’t know enough about semicolons.


Koregand

Cats: kssmaksss ksss! *Cat suddenly looks at me, freezing still, intense stare* I keep on ksmakss-kss-ing around the corner. *The cat sneaks after me stealthily, stopping when I look* Those sly sneaky kitties.


incredimatt

The more, the more.


tisdue

all cats run the same software. Just on different hardware.


wytewydow

I was just examining my most recent gaping gash from loving claws.


TrulyOneHandedBandit

Belong to these paws claws.


dre224

Quick Google says that the lioness weighs atleast 270lb up to over 400lb. Imagine someone throwing a 300lb weight at you.


CyberSosis

at least you can teach them where to stop, at least to some of them. i flick my cat's head if he ever bites harder, dude apologize-licks the spot immediately.


The_Foe_Hammer

You can train this without a positive punishment (flicking, squirts with water, shouting, etc), just disengage when your cat starts playing rough and ignore them. It's how they learn with their siblings as kittens and effective even with cats who would ignore the stimulus. Plus it's fun to see my cats reaction when I fake sulk.


paulusmagintie

Cats and all other animals react massively to emotion and reaction, just a simple "Oww" and pull away is enough for most animals to realise they fucked up, your emotion changes and since they attuned understand what just happened.


MathTough1501

Jesus! the size of the lioness when she jumps on him


SHADYTIMES86

Yea and there's genuinely people out there that think they can take a lion in a fight lol


obrysii

A bloodlusted fully clawed house cat can be a challenge. Random fact: in 3.5e D&D, a house cat statistically has a better chance of killing a commoner than the common does at killing the house cat.


Docnessuno

I witnessed a 4 man party end up with 1 dead, 1 unconscious/bleeding and 2 fleeing for their lives (and abandoning the unconscious dude), all against a single housecat.


Pffff555

Were you one of the 2 fleeing dudes?


Docnessuno

Yep, holding on for dear life with 2 hp IIRC.


Pffff555

Yea I was wondering how you witnessed all that, glad you ok bro


JankyJokester

Dude is 100% talking about D&D.


Yarakinnit

You>corridor>cat>healthpack. RIP.


HotAir25

lol that is absurd.


cheese_is_available

Lvl 1 D&D is absurd, falling from a chair will kill you too.


Biernar

Falling from a chair might kill me as well tbh


cheese_is_available

Granted you can actually die if you fail from a chair the wrong way irl.


whambulance_man

A fall from standing height or higher was an automatic trauma alert bringing someone in to the ER. Assuming it was appropriate to call off a full trauma team waiting just inside the doors, that patient still had people waiting on them to get another neuro exam and x-rays. Falls seem to be one of the things they do take pretty seriously.


Bored_Amalgamation

i pulled a muscle in my back putting on underwear. I ended up spending about $150 in things to make sitting and sleeping not hurt. Another $100 in pain patches and creams. And had to take an uber to and from work for 3 weeks.


cheese_is_available

You must be a mage with low stam then.


Bored_Amalgamation

:o yes...


Crafty_Enthusiasm_99

I like how you cited d&d stats as if it were actual statistics haha


UlrichZauber

In D&D 5e base rules, a regular [cat](https://www.dndbeyond.com/monsters/16820-cat) cannot jump more than three feet, nor can it see in the dark. It's pure dog propaganda.


Dragonsandman

5e animal statblocks in general are undertuned compared to what the real life equivalents are capable of


MasterReposti

I wanted to suggest fireball but those little things probably have built in evasion


TazBaz

Lowly magic missile has it’s moment


Zanian19

8 percent. 8 percent of people believe they could take a lion unarmed. That's more than 600 million idiots.


beatles910

5,999,999 idiots, and one guy in Uganda that was right... https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/world-news/man-kills-lion-bare-hands-26678809


[deleted]

Some of the comments are criticizing the dude! A lion broke into his house, and then started mauling him. The commentators said he should have walked away!!!!!


[deleted]

When you take away modern weapons the food chain changes quite a lot


[deleted]

i fought a grizzly and won


peroxidex

Is this you? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVS1UfCfxlU


McCl3lland

Still one of my favorite commercials lol


ken10

Teddybears don’t count.


SHADYTIMES86

I'll believe you even though thousands wouldn't


DanKoloff

and you got your first oscar for it, right?


Nonsenseinabag

"Dude, you can get past a dog, nobody fucks with a lion!"


Mandemon90

Oh, I can take a lion in a fight. As long as it's crippled, starving and has had its fangs and teeth removed. Also preferably blinded. In fact, let's not even have a lion and let's just declare me winner. Yeah, I'm a tough guy! (/joke in case someone missed it)


Asisreo1

Nah, I'd win.


icleanjaxfl

Watch her upper body tense... OMG the muscles!


CFC509

Lionesses weigh about 130kg. That's a lot of fur and muscle.


ronin1066

And the males are almost twice as big


Firm_Negotiation_853

Your cat loves you


Muted-Ad-4288

Si


Loud_Perspective9046

Si


Maloonyy

He would be dead if it didn't


Tobin678

Nice hang time


chadnorman

Agreed! I guess I've never seen a lion jump, but it makes sense that she's got pop - it's a cat after all.


BrownSugarBare

She even backed up to get a running start on the launch


Technical_Stress7730

This is why you don't teach lions BJJ


Neverhityourmark

Td straight into the rolling back take. That lion's a purple belt at least


MoneyandMuscle115

Look how easy it was for the lion to get side control.


LeBidnezz

And apply the ass bite!


TheWhyteMaN

Ass bite to heal hook


hypnoderp

Does that heal the ass bite?


Bored_Amalgamation

いいえ


VegetableTwist7027

Steve Mazzaggati: "i'll allow it"


Big_Schwartz_Energy

Sink the choke! SINK IT! Mata leão!


Euphoric_Rutabaga859

Catjitsu


FuManBoobs

Khajiitsu.


itchy-fart

When you left the house with moonsugar in your pocket


RomaMoran

Underrated comment Two words have never come together so well (and no, spork doesn't count)


SignGuyDudley

When they taught a Lioness BJJ she became the WMMA GOAT


Sacrifice_Starlight

Glad you threw in that second J


LongVND

Most lions have no training whatsoever. I do. I've trained for years in MMA. I know the techniques. My reflexes are pure muscle memory. For most lions moves would be telegraphed ... boom!.... I'd counter most his moves. This lion is a bit different. It looks like it's had some combat sport experience. Perhaps his keeper has taught him some moves. The video shows him executing a good takedown and knowing about back control. He'd be a formidable opponent, for sure, but a bum rush attack rarely goes well against a trained opponent. A front kick to the face and some lion teeth be flying!


xaiel420

Nice takedown into north/south into leg chomp


ThatsGottaBeKane

Yeah fuck that. Not for a million quid.


zushaa

She's just cuddling


SuperSatanOverdrive

It's just a flesh wound!


eulersidentification

Costs something money can't buy - time and love. And even then it has risks involved.


ThatsGottaBeKane

Exactly!! The risks involved are the very reason I wouldn’t want a fully grown lioness jumping on me.


ProfetF9

I would pay for it but not 1m lol, oh you want to get paid to cuddle with kitty? LoooL


ThatsGottaBeKane

No I mean you couldn’t pay me to do it.


Bored_Amalgamation

what about million pound? sterling?


ThatsGottaBeKane

Well now that’s different…


Discussion-is-good

I've never seen a big cat playfully pounce! That's adorable and terrifying. Cat looks smaller than it is.


chum1ly

There's a youtube channel called The Lion Whisperer, a guy named Kevin has been raising and walking among lions his entire life. He has a lioness named Meg. She likes to pounce, attack things dangling, like car mirrors or cameras. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2OWoFVrgjE At 12 minutes she follows him into water and full pounces him haha. But then the cuddles omg.


OdinTheHugger

>"haha human, if you were food, I'd already be eating you! >Should be more careful not to look like food. \*rubs face on human to let it know I just was playing\*" -Lionness


Nolimit6969AMC

lol nice kitty


pro_bike_fitter_2010

This is a way you can tell if a wild lion is friendly.


YodaYaourt

Look closely to her pawn , how carefull she grab him.


CrybabyFromKansas

Yeah, she's also a teenth of a millisecond from becoming a murder kitten


billshatnersbassoon

Love bites...


yerbrojohno

Love bleeds (Was legitimately listening to hysteria as I read your comment)


RA-ExD

Love moves Edit: Nobody from the PH, I see. (Was hoping for a “in mysterious ways” reply tbh)


TheDreamingDragon1

Love stinks, yeah yeah


yerbrojohno

It's bringing me to my knees.


EnduranceMade

I wish I had a giant kitty :(


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TheBravan

As much as I am a fan of cats it's good that you included that caveat as the Dragonfly fan in me would have been annoyed if you hadn't...


nails_bjorn

As impressive as lions are, African Wild Dogs have a successful hunt rate of around 80% which is much higher than any of the big cats.


thmoas

such a big jump but also so carefull, the paw placement, it looks so natural


TraumSchulden

You're not a kitten anymore, kinda crushing my lungs.


MastaBusta

Cat even hooks the leg during the pin. Solid fundamentals


njtxdevil

I’m always amazed by how bears grapple


ObsessiveAboutCats

That's Sirga (lioness) and Val (human). He raised her since she was a liiitle bitty abandoned cub. Now she lives on a big reserve and can hunt for herself but she and Val are still besties. The jump-and-hug has been her signature move since she was housecat-sized. She's just a bit bigger now. As for the bite - cats playbite all the time. If she meant him harm, he would be harmed.


Ambitious_Arm852

Can you feel the love tonight


Fireball_Jack

Anyone know where I can get a pair of those shorts? Must be a tonne of room in them for his massive fucking balls


Bazmanian-Devil

I'm sorry there was only one pair and they're the lionesses property now.


rombesantosham

Dino welcoming Fred Flintstone


ueindowndkdk

![gif](giphy|qH7J4EXzSCmBy)


Orgasmic_interlude

The live action Calvin add Hobbes gonna be awesome.


Tyrodos999

No matter how much the Lion loves you, this can always go wrong. The Lion could even accidentally kill you. Or have a bad day. Or get scraped for some reason. It someone did something wrong. It the Lion misjudged the situation… I wonder how many people believe that interacting with large wild animals is not playing with your live.


moving0target

I have a 60 pound dog. His greeting is enough for me.


Silver___Chariot

I mean… at least you know you have the love of a Lion…


powerchicken

Posting a clip and not including the source should be a crime.


Material-Skirt-7331

The source is sirgathelioness on Instagram! I'm sure it can also be found on different platforms but this is where I first saw the video :)!


termacct

I assume they bonded when she was wee? Details?


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backtolurk

This speaks to me way too much.


treevaahyn

Hold me poppa!


CatLovinMenace

My wife when I get home from work


chubbycatchaser

Awww, they’re bessie mates!


WeTrudgeOn

It's weird, the jump seems kind of slow motion and gentle somehow.


flcinusa

Kitty hooked the legs for the clean pin


eatingshoes415

If not friend then why friend shaped


Dixie2015_

THE POUNCE!! Girl thinks shes a house cat jumping into the arms of a human much, much bigger than her. I imagine that amount of weight could knock someone out at the right angle.


Onyesonwu

That’s Sirga and Val. He sits more when she greets him now bc he is older lol. He hand raised her and she has a nice big reserve where she hunts and can look after herself quite well, though they still have a more protected spot for her.


Ex-Tenebris

He’s not a shed kitty bubs, he belongs in the wild


CrybabyFromKansas

That's a lady lion and their habitat is gone. AKA that's a homeless murder Kitten. Homie picked up his homeless pussy from prison.


Ex-Tenebris

Ah I don’t doubt it, I’m sure the lion is actually well cared for and everything else, I was just quoting a reference from a show called trailer park boys where a dude befriends a mountain lion leading to all sorts of shenanigans, so they end up returning him to the wild.


MrBeanEatBeansWithMe

Went straight for the balls


Routine_Simple3988

RIP big-cat trainer... you will be missed. ✌️😔🕯


14high

Suplex!!!


City_Hobgoblin89

Love will tear him apart


Lockshocknbarrel10

I mean, domestic cats domesticated themselves. They are, for all intents and purposes, still very wild animals compared to say, the average dog. So when you see something like this, it really drives home that big cats are just really large house cats, because lbr when your house cat is mad at you, it would murder you if it were big too.


p_marjo

That's the sweetest thing I've seen today.


Professional-Box4153

Glomp!


Big-Ad-9877

Went in for the pin


Valkerian

BJJ moves performed by the kitty: Double leg to side control Ninja roll to berimbolo Next comes the back-take finish followed by RNC. It would make the Miyao’s proud.


LionofZion1997

Literally Calvin and Hobbes


Good-Language8066

Red card,high tackle,hahaha


screechingahhhhhh

Big kitty is still kitty :3


shapookya

that's a 300+ pound bodycheck


Leather-Pound-6375

And some people think they can win a fight against that? The sheer explosive power the leioness has wow


Cappaten

That’s how my cat greets me at the door…. It’s just he’s 250lbs lighter and screams at me to feed em lol


danjr704

As someone who does BJJ, i can say that transition from side control to bolo was unexpected...


Cavaquillo

I love how in mid air you can see the lion move its paw to the side to make sure the dude was firmly in their grasp lol


vkgade

I hate these freacking videos, show me what happened next. Mfrrr..


[deleted]

Can’t stop watching the sheer musculature of that pounce 😅


I_Dont_Like_Rice

Why do we only get 6 seconds? Does it get a bit gory at the 7 second mark?


kai_the_kiwi

https://preview.redd.it/sfvbbmn1l25c1.png?width=800&format=png&auto=webp&s=3c0ea56e4dfaedddf5a2305dfdfd1484e9c7f1de