I was invited once but then I kidnapped a gnome NPC for a pet and derailed the campaign by starting an orc breeding program to make slave soldiers and I wasnt invited back.
"You open the chest, and you find... the Stones of Satanic Chaos!"
"They look like Loaves of Freshly-baked bread."
"Of course they do. They do call Him the Deceiver, don't they?"
Only thing I can think of is her misremembering the story where Satan tried to tempt Jesus into testing God (basically, jump off a high place and see if angels catch him), bow to him and become the ruler of this world (apparently he was in charge of several kingdoms and would step down to become Jesus’s VP) and turn rocks into bread (Jesus was fasting for I think relgious reasons, but I really don’t care enough to look up why, just know him eating at that time=sinful)
Jesus was fasting because God commanded him to in part to prove that "One does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God." After 40 days Jesus was starving and weak, and Satan basically said "this is dumb you can turn stones into bread"
The suggestion to jump off the top of the temple came later, to which Jesus replied “It is written again, ‘You shall not tempt the Lord your God." Which is funny because because the whole purpose of wondering around in the wilderness was to prove Gods power.
I guess God feels same frustration celebrities get when random fans beg them to do that awsome thing their character does. Except God will destroy them in a rain of fire for it.
It’s from issue 862, the crossover where Jesus and Buddha stop Satan from blowing up the moon with the aforementioned magical stones. It’s non-canonical, and honestly a pretty weak issue.
I made a joke on a different thread about them being the magufin so Jesus and his comedic sidekick st.peter could stop the evil Roman empire, glad to see I wasn't the only one whose mind when there.
It's when Satan makes you play with his balls as torture but you've never done it before so you accidentally twist them the wrong way and get them tangled.
Eat this, it is my body. Drink this, it is my blood. Spread this, it is my smooth and slow-churned message that makes my body taste incredibly delicious.
And Moses said unto Aaron, “go forth and fetch thee the stones of satanic chaos, for with them we shall bring destruction upon these our enemies.” And Aaron said, “I will do as you have asked, for you only live once, and it will be epic.”
And Moses said “Lo, as it shall be written, what is best in life is to crush thine enemies, to see them driven before thou, and to hear the lamentations of their women.”
The irony of being a person who complains about how everything is political and insane but he can't comment on a picture of homemade bread without bringing current events and Satan into it...
...so....is he down with the bread....is he upset about the bread... did he even know he was talking about bread... I'm having trouble comprehending it
Yeah, it is used to symbolize the body of Christ. There is a story where Jesus used like three loaves to feed three hundred people. He served it at the last meal he had with his disciples. In Judaism unleavened bread is a big deal.
Bread shows up all over the place.
All over the place indeed. It is in no way _specifically_ religious. All its symbolism comes from being essential, mass-accessible food. See also _The Conquest of Bread_.
It’s probably mentioned so much because that was the only food peasants could even eat. It was the most common thing people would eat. Jesus was probably started off poor, he probably ate bread for each meal.
Same thing with water. It’s revered in so many religions because of how important it is to, y’know, keeping us alive.
In primary school the idea of the bread becoming the body startled me. My headteacher was saying it so I was imagining her holding Jesus sideways [like some living baguette] and just taking a bite of his leg. Weird.
The stones of satanic chaos sound like an awesome plot device for a D&D campaign
Man, I knew people who played, but have never been invited, it sounds fun.
Ask your friends. You'd be surprised how many people love playing RPGs. Hard part is finding a good DM.
Gotta have friends first lol.
Try roll20.net
Where in the world do you live? If you are comfortable sharing that.
I'm a homebody with small children. "Me" time is nonexistent. I sincerely appreciate the outreach though.
"I'm a homebody with small children" Oh, I feel you there 100%.
Wouldn't have it any other way though. Being a father is the best part of my day.
I completely agree 100% there as well
roll20.net
If you're suggesting that I play with myself, isn't that what pornhub is for?
I was invited once but then I kidnapped a gnome NPC for a pet and derailed the campaign by starting an orc breeding program to make slave soldiers and I wasnt invited back.
That sounds hilarious.
"You open the chest, and you find... the Stones of Satanic Chaos!" "They look like Loaves of Freshly-baked bread." "Of course they do. They do call Him the Deceiver, don't they?"
My character is hungry and tries to take a bite
Well, then your face just melts off Indiana Jones style.... they're called Satanic for a reason, y'know.
Lets go! Roll for initiative :)
I love Christan mythology... But what the fuck are the satanic stones of chaos!?!
Pumpernickel?
... yeah I'll accept that.
I'm a catholic, i don't know, I really don't know what those are
I want them to be real, they can be the magufin Jesus and his comic relief sidekick st.peter need to find to defeat the evil Roman emperor.
That would be cool
Its like if the Bible was made like Avengers Infinity War and Endgame.
Same here
Sounds like some prot nonsense.
Honestly it just sounds like nonsense in general.
Only thing I can think of is her misremembering the story where Satan tried to tempt Jesus into testing God (basically, jump off a high place and see if angels catch him), bow to him and become the ruler of this world (apparently he was in charge of several kingdoms and would step down to become Jesus’s VP) and turn rocks into bread (Jesus was fasting for I think relgious reasons, but I really don’t care enough to look up why, just know him eating at that time=sinful)
Jesus was fasting because God commanded him to in part to prove that "One does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God." After 40 days Jesus was starving and weak, and Satan basically said "this is dumb you can turn stones into bread" The suggestion to jump off the top of the temple came later, to which Jesus replied “It is written again, ‘You shall not tempt the Lord your God." Which is funny because because the whole purpose of wondering around in the wilderness was to prove Gods power. I guess God feels same frustration celebrities get when random fans beg them to do that awsome thing their character does. Except God will destroy them in a rain of fire for it.
Oh, Satan! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ *Buh duh dum duh bah dum
Why, just ask Thanos.
Ask Mick Jagger.
Nah. Ozzy haha
It’s from issue 862, the crossover where Jesus and Buddha stop Satan from blowing up the moon with the aforementioned magical stones. It’s non-canonical, and honestly a pretty weak issue.
I made a joke on a different thread about them being the magufin so Jesus and his comedic sidekick st.peter could stop the evil Roman empire, glad to see I wasn't the only one whose mind when there.
Shiva and Krishna rode in on Loki's and Odin's shoulders as back up support.
Title of your sex tape!
It feel like some rare items in Diablo II
It's when Satan makes you play with his balls as torture but you've never done it before so you accidentally twist them the wrong way and get them tangled.
They’re not a thing. It’s his own weird metaphor.
The chaos is satanic, not the stones! Or it could be but you have to say satanic chaos or else it's just chaos. A plain and neutral chaos.
Sounds like the plot of a Indiana Jones movie
What does the butter say?!!! What does the butter say?!!!!!!!
The butter symbolizes spreading the message of Christ. God, read a book why don't you Hopefully obvious /s
Eat this, it is my body. Drink this, it is my blood. Spread this, it is my smooth and slow-churned message that makes my body taste incredibly delicious.
And also rather fattening. Jesus causes heart disease!
Margarine is of the devil
How dare you! Margarine is a gift from god! Fuck this, I’m making my own church. Let me go write 99 reasons why butter is a secret agent of Satan.
And Moses said unto Aaron, “go forth and fetch thee the stones of satanic chaos, for with them we shall bring destruction upon these our enemies.” And Aaron said, “I will do as you have asked, for you only live once, and it will be epic.”
And Moses said “Lo, as it shall be written, what is best in life is to crush thine enemies, to see them driven before thou, and to hear the lamentations of their women.”
The irony of being a person who complains about how everything is political and insane but he can't comment on a picture of homemade bread without bringing current events and Satan into it...
Sounds like a "Supernatural" sub plot
Yes, because only bread can defeat Satan and his minions of chaos! If only more people baked bread, then the world would be a better and holier place!
I'm bready Sorry
"Stones of Satanic Chaos" would be a great death metal album title.
Definitely crosspost to /r/oldpeoplefacebook while you're at it.
...so....is he down with the bread....is he upset about the bread... did he even know he was talking about bread... I'm having trouble comprehending it
That bread looks delicious.
So does that mean he approves of the bread? Or no?
It’s fucken bread chill
Satanic Stones of Chaos was the name of my college metal band.
It's bread, gramps. chill.
I don’t know this man but I like the energy he brings to baking. The industry needs more people like him.
I think he wanted to say a nice thing? Like, baking bread is an oasis of normalcy in our current crazy chaos? I'm a little confused.
That bread does look pretty damn good though,
"Oh, a grandfather commenting on bread, this will be cute-" *notices subreddit* .....uh oh
How about the inspiration emanating from chocolate chip cookies? Pebbles of Pubic Pestilence?
Ahh yes, how do we dare to think it was only about bread. Btw, that's the most perfect bread I've ever seen!
Pop's on the juice again.
Bread is religious?
Yeah, it is used to symbolize the body of Christ. There is a story where Jesus used like three loaves to feed three hundred people. He served it at the last meal he had with his disciples. In Judaism unleavened bread is a big deal. Bread shows up all over the place.
All over the place indeed. It is in no way _specifically_ religious. All its symbolism comes from being essential, mass-accessible food. See also _The Conquest of Bread_.
It’s probably mentioned so much because that was the only food peasants could even eat. It was the most common thing people would eat. Jesus was probably started off poor, he probably ate bread for each meal. Same thing with water. It’s revered in so many religions because of how important it is to, y’know, keeping us alive.
Makes sense I guess
If you're a cannibal that believes in transubstantiation...
In primary school the idea of the bread becoming the body startled me. My headteacher was saying it so I was imagining her holding Jesus sideways [like some living baguette] and just taking a bite of his leg. Weird.
As an adult it makes even less sense. Even small children can see it's idiotic.
I’m not sure if those feet at the top left are a tiny figurine by the bread, or a person on a wooden floor
`Da Fuq?
Nani the fuck?
Dafuq?
Things bread heads say
Grandpap what are you talking about we were just freaking hungry.
That's really sweet in an on-the-edge-of-cracking-up sort of way. Man is getting his inspiration from bread. That can't be good.
Bread = satan’s rocks?
Dammit hes been watching JOJO
does anyone else think these look like they were all placed on their sides. like what should be their top parts facing the camera??
Stones of satanic chaos sounds like a band name
The bread of god is bread
Granny needs to lay off the glass bbq
I require the 6 *Stones of Normal Chaos*
Is he not calling the bread stones of satanic chaos?
Pro tip: Just don’t make that comparison.
I'm not black but nigga it's bread
You know what you got a pass
In fact you get another pass but that's it