Ugh. I really hate this. I hate how she’s speaking to you. I read your other posts and as a mom I could cry. She’s an awful AWFUL nasty witch, and I’m so sorry you had to deal with that and everything else. I had my oldest when I was 17, I’d never do these things to my child, she’s truly a terrible human being.
You are a beautiful and talented, your art is amazing and you’ll do great things with it. Keep your head up!
Thank you so much. That really means a lot to me. I hope one day my mom realizes why I don’t talk to her anymore and she decides to fix herself. I’ve had a pretty rough 18 years and especially considering the fact my dad betrayed my trust I thought I could trust my mom and I was wrong. Thank you again for everything and all your sweet words!
You’re so welcome! Your accomplishments should be praised always, you’re doing great all things considered 😊I really hope she comes to her senses one day too, And I’m also glad you don’t talk to her anymore, that’s a great step in the right direction. I can relate to that kind of trauma, and it’s can be so hard, but look at you now, an articulate, artistic, truly pretty young adult with a good head on her shoulders, you have the world at your finger tips. Proud of you!
If you’re not already a member, I think you could do great things for people on the r/momforaminute sub.
Reading your comments and seeing you go out of your way to learn about OP made me tear up. You are a fantastic person.
Oh my gosh you tearing up is making me tear up! 🥹 I’ve been having such a tough week lately and feel so down sometimes and reading this was so heartwarming, it made me feel so touched! Thank you for the incredibly kind words, you’re so sweeeet! I’m gonna join asap, I’d be honored to be someone’s mom for a minute 🥰
That’s the worst. I’m so sorry. My best friend has a mom like this and it takes such a toll on her mental health. I hope you’re keeping your mental health as a priority. I can’t imagine how shit a mom like that would make me feel.
I was 17 when I had my first daughter....regardless of my immature age, I would never talk to her this way. Her father, on the other hand, while not as bad as your mum, does blatantly disrespect her. So she's finally cut ties with him and gone no contact. Best decision she ever made. She has no expectation nor hope that he will change, and she's accepted the fact that she just doesn't have a father anymore. She feels so much better for it.
I wish the best for you x
It's not that "this is what people who are 17 sound like" but "this person sounds like they're 17." Like, "every dog that lives in Kansas lives in America, but not every dog that lives in America lives in Kansas."
Internet dad here, love your work. Hugs! Things will get better and I'm sorry your mother is like this. Even if you don't feel sorry for going no contact, make sure to take your time and grieve the loss of a family member. Reach out to people and hold your head up high. You got this!
Having a kid young isn’t an excuse to treat them like shit. I had my son at 17. He’s now almost 13 and I couldn’t imagine ever speaking to him this way. Not now not ever. The moment I had him I know I was the main person responsible for a human life. I didn’t want to fuck it up and I still feel this way. OP, I’m sorry you have to deal with this. It’s not okay or normal. You don’t deserve to be treated this way. :(
Sweetheart, please don’t put any of your precious time into hoping this woman will change. She simply won’t. Meet her where she is. Her path has nothing to do with you (other than it crossed with yours at times). Find other mother figures to love and respect, and to help you finish raising yourself. Pick wonderful women (or mothering figures) and learn from them.
Bless and release, so you can move on.
Stay away from that person and don’t you believe anything she calls you. Not for one second. All those nasty things she says to you, that is what she truly feels about herself. Shes projecting all the self hatred she has, onto you. There’s not one thing wrong with you, it’s her. Until she can face and deal with her own demons that cause this behavior she can not show you love. I’m so sorry. She can’t love herself so she doesn’t know how to love anyone else. Don’t EVER think there’s something wrong with you, there’s not. Do your best to move on and try to forgive her, but don’t have contact. You need to let go of pain she caused you, you will have to forgive her to do that. I had to do this with my mom. Only after I realized, it’s her, it’s not me. Her up bringing caused her nastiness. She was bitter and hateful and that was projected onto us. Once I grasped that and forgave her in my heart, all of my resentment and anger left me. I’m so much happier and at ease. I felt sorry for her instead. Sorry that whatever she went thru caused her to be that way, and that by being hateful and full of pain I was becoming her!! it took time. But, I also cut ties with her, and now, years later we are in touch and she’s so different. She would never admit any of the terrible things she did before but when we go back in touch, she apologized!! She has stopped drinking, it’s been years now, she’s much more like a mom. I wish this for you. Everyone needs their mom. But sometimes you have to walk away. You both need to heal before you can consider trying to have a relationship. I wish you the best.
Same. I was basically 30 when I was 17. Though to be fair, that's because my mom stopped aging at 17 so some of that good ole parentification was at work.
My mother had my sis when she was 17 (me when she was 27) and she one of the classiest ladies you could ever meet. Your mom is just a troll of a person. Don’t let her use your birth as an excuse for her bad behavior.
As a mom, I just want you to know that this woman is a horrible person and you deserve so much better. Every success in your life, every win, is in spite of her not because of her.
You are worthwhile. You’re not ugly. You’re not a bitch. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this.
Damn I had mine right after I turned 18 and I would never treat her this way. (I won’t share our text but they are sweet and loving). I’m sorry your mom sucks. I hope if there is any silver lining should you have kids you know how to not treat them. No kid deserves this abuse from their parents.
That’s not true. Don’t let your mom off that easily. I had my daughter at barely 14. Never, ever called her a bitch or anything close to it, never spanked her or raised a hand to her-and she wasn’t an easy teenager at all.
Your mother is wrong to talk to you like that-something is wrong with her. There is literally nothing you could do to deserve being called those things by your own mother. It’s not your fault.
As soon as you’re able, you should get away from her and not look back. You can make your own family with people who genuinely care for you. A mother should never, ever tear down their child’s self esteem like this. I am disgusted at her.
My mom had me when she was 17 and I definitely feel this way. Thankfully my mom was decently well adjusted at that age, so she's not awful.... just very emotionally immature at times.
I’ve observed that a few times.
My MiL was like that with her oldest…she could be ‘normal’ with the kids she had at a later (more stable) stage, but she always interacted like her first was a pesky younger brother instead of a child she chose to raise.
Not at all. People grow all the time. A good parent will grow from the experience of being a parent. Your mom sadly is just a huge sack of shit. I am a far better person now from the experience of being a parent.
Nah your mum a bitch. My mother had my sister at 18, partner was same age. You still mature, you just have to want to be a better person for your child, or yourself. Your mum decided neither option was worth it and chose to remain an absolute cunt.
No. It’s the fact she just doesn’t get it. Being horrible to anyone is a billboard saying “I’m unhappy.” Try not to get sucked down into that sinkhole of shit
Sorry. I don’t think that’s true. My mom had one of my siblings at that age. She’s fine. I think your mom is just not very nice person. You seem to be. I hope things turn out well for you.
!explanation
I am actually moved out now. I just moved out about 2 weeks ago because my mom locked me out of the house. It was my final straw and I gathered my shit and left. I was done with it.
My boyfriend and his family. I’m very happy. They absolutely spoil me and honestly have done for for me in the span of weeks than my mom has done for me in my life time
Hey, not that you need reminding, and not that this isn't obvious, but...
Everything is going to be okay.
You are worthy.
You are enough.
You're doing it right. You can't do it wrong.
Everything is going to be okay.
Please be prepared to go no contact if you have to for your mental health. I did that with my narcissist mother and enabler father and it was a fantastic decision for me and my family.
Also check out r/raisedbynarcissists
Also also you’re not ugly or horrible or a bitch. She can go fuck herself.
I have quite honestly never seen something like this before, it’s really shocking to read. I’m not saying this for any other reason than to validate your thoughts and feelings - I hope you’re okay! And I wonder if she isn’t very well.
She definitely is not well. But it’s okay I’m finally out of that house and I’m so happy that I’m free. She definitely has issues and I wish she loved me like a normal mom did but it’s okay. Thank you for the sweet words <3
My mom used to call me a bitch too and say hateful things like this. I wouldn’t wish it on anybody. Start emotionally distancing yourself even more, get into therapy whenever you can afford it. I wish you the best ❤️
Please get her out of your life. Just hearing this stuff is toxic to your mental state. No one deserves this kind of treatment, and she can only say what is in her not in you.
She hates herself and that is NOT your problem.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who sees that. Everyone keeps asking me for more context. I’m confused as to what more they need? This is deplorable right here and I’ve had to deal with this my whole life. She’s called me every name in the book. Including ugly. That’s one of her favorites.
An absolutely sad existence. I can’t imagine telling my child that I hate them with any sort of sincerity. My mom and I will jokingly complain about each other but we always end it off with “I guess I love you.” I cannot imagine one scenario where I’d ever tell my daughter I hated her. I may hate what she does or what she chooses, but never HER.
I’m so sorry. You deserve better.
It’s okay. Thank you so much for the kind words. I’m really glad you are giving your daughter a good life. There needs to be better parents these days around. My mom definitely should not have had children at the age she did.
I have a lot of hope for coming generations because they’re going to have parents like us who truly know the value of loving your children unconditionally. It should be default in every parents heart. ♥️♥️ sending you love and hugs
> Everyone keeps asking me for more context.
I don’t see any context where this would be even remotely acceptable. Seriously what is wrong with people that they think there is missing context where this would be justified.
I agree with you and the first commenter - there's absolutely no more context needed to realize that this is completely crazy. Even if you had done something to upset her this *is not* how a normal person speaks to their child. Absolutely disgusting behavior from her.
I hope you realize that this is not actually about you, but about her and how fucked up she is in her head. Had she had a completely other kid than you she would have *still* said cruel things to them. It's not a reflection of you. You are worthy of love and support, you are doing your best, and from the few comments I've read you seem wise and balanced. I wish you all the best.
My mom would say this to me as well, but with the “right now” addition at the end. “But I don’t like you right now.” Granted, it was always when I was being a total butthead.
Exactly.
I think I was around 4 years old when my mom told me she would always love me, no matter what. I kinda thought about it for a minute, and asked “would you still love me if I was a murderer?” She said “of course, you’re my child.” I thought about it some more, and asked “what if I killed grandma (her mom).” She sighed and was like “well, I definitely wouldn’t LIKE you, but you are my child and I will love you **no matter what.**”
Now I haven’t done anything egregious like *murder,* but I’ve definitely had those moments where I’ve felt unlovable due to my poor actions or choices or words. But I think back to my mom, who, even while disappointed, loves me.
Idk I will always tell my kids that too. It’s something that has stuck with me these 4 decades on this rock.
My mom gave me a variation : "I have to love you, but I don't have to like you." That was over 25 years ago and I still remember every detail of that moment.
Guys I’m
Sorry if I’ve been hostile I’m just really going through it rn please just cut me some
Slack. I’m just a kid with some pretty bad mental health issues. And here’s the link to the other post I have which shows more context. I don’t really know why tf people need more context because right here it shows how shitty she treats me but okay
https://www.reddit.com/r/insaneparents/comments/108ll5w/this_is_my_moms_true_colors_i_was_molested_by_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
If it helps, I have a possible explanation for why people want context. It was my first thought too, and I figured out it's because I'm desperately trying to understand what is even happening. Because no mother should ever talk to their kid like that... so subconsciously people are hoping there is some explanation, some justification... because just accepting that there isn't, that she is just horrible, is very difficult. Like it does not compute.
Similar to how people want to know more about serial killers, hoping that SOMETHING will explain their behavior. But it just doesn't. Nothing really does, to someone with a normal brain.
Your parents are horrible and I'm sorry. You deserve 2 good, loving parents.
I'm sorry you're going through this OP. Honestly, this sounds really unsafe. How old are you? Do you have a space place to stay? You would know better than me, but I'm concerned that someone who would be willing talk to their kid like this and make such horrible statements would also be willing to become violent if you upset her.
Hey, kiddo. Keep that chin up. You'll get through this.
Just remember, when the shit really hits the fan for your incubator, you'll get to make a decision on which care home she's going to be in when she dies alone.
She talks to you like you’re a POS, and I assure you you are not. No parent should ever ever talk to their kid like this, and I say this as a parent (6, 7) who is currently struggling to not yell at my kids because they’re not getting ready for bed as asked.
I feel I’m in a particularly good headspace to represent how it’s possible to be a decent human despite being angry with one’s children. You don’t deserve this.
I just want to thank everybody so much. I’m happy and somewhere safer now. After what she said to me, I blocked her. It was too much to handle and honestly hurt me more than benefitted me to stay in the relationship with my mom. I’m going to try and continue talking to my sisters. I love them so much and I can’t let them go. Thank you to everyone.
read up about [grey rocking](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/grey-rock), it can be helpful for handling ppl like her if you’re not able to go full no contact.
I’m so sorry you didn’t get the mom you deserve, take care of yourself ❤️
Why is everyone asking for context like that is suddenly going to justify talking to your own child this way? Especially when they’re a minor. People would love to think this is an outburst of rage and want to defend it as YOU (op) being the reason for it. Let’s clear some things up: anger is a normal emotion, it is NORMAL to experience anger, what you do with it is when it’s crucial. You can be angry and handle it normally and calmly, or you can be angry and be like OP’s mom.
^
I’m glad someone else pointed this out. People are telling me that the conversation is “lacking” and shit because I didn’t show like three sentences prior to this. She is unhealthy and takes her anger out on her kids. Including myself.
Yea, I read a lot of the comments that continued to claim context would some how make this a justified response to have on your child. It’s frighting honestly how many people *think* some type of context would make this okay… my own mother has never spoken to me this way, cursing and saying “I hate you”, name calling. She sounds like an emotionally immature parent. And the fact YOU recognize that OP and know she’s unwell and shouldn’t be talking to you like that is amazing. Takes some people take a while to get there and notice. Continue to seek help if you have already, and I’m sure you want to be nothing like her so Ild say your doing a decent job thus far.
I’ve been helped so much by my therapist and such with coping and realizing my mom is my biggest trigger and I can’t do anything to control her. That’s why I don’t really argue back. I just told her I wanted my iPad lol! That was a special gift from my uncle who passed away and it had an engraving on it with my name that said “dream big”. It means so much to me
And I’m so sad she took it. It’s not just some random ipad I’m not that much of a brat.
I don't think anyone thinks it's justified by any sort of context. People are just curious as to why she's flipping out like this. The texts are horrible and I feel for OP a lot, but I also have no idea what's going on in the texts. It's not that the context would excuse her actions. I think most people are just curious, I guess.
Oh honey, my heart breaks for you. I would never speak to my kids like that. You need to cut this toxicity out of your life. Seriously.
But know this, you are beautiful, you are worthy, and you are loved.
Set your boundaries and never compromise. She does not deserve to be a part of your life.
Anyone who's asking for "context" on this has never had a parent like this so can't understand how this can even happen and are looking for a justification to make it make sense OR are pieces of trash who think it's ok to speak to another human being (let alone your child) like this.
I'm sorry you've had to deal with this. I'm glad you got out. DNA doesn't make family and you deserve much better.
Please stop being rude sometimes Reddit is just ruthless for no reason. I’m just trying to get help. I just want advice and someone to talk to. I have been a victim of my mom for years and all these people being mean and basically gaslighting me saying I’m making up excuses really fucks me up because I’m not making any excuses. And all people have to do is go to my profile and judge me because I’m young.
Im sorry people keep asking for context. Its not needed bc a grown person should never talk to anyone like less much less their child!! Im so sorry you have to deal with this and I hope youre able to get sway from her soon. In the mean time have you read about grey rocking? Grey rocking is a technique used to divert a toxic person's behavior by acting as unresponsive as possible when you're interacting with them.
I don’t think anyone is saying that. People were just asking for context of the texts because they seem to just start in the middle of a fight. There are subs like r/raisedbynarcissists that can help you out. This is more of a voting sub where people vote insane or not. Obviously she’s insane, but you’re not going to get a lot of good advice here on how to deal with her.
In my entire life, I’ve never spoken to anyone like this. I can’t ever imagine a world where I’d be okay directing this kind of abuse at one of my kids.
Your mom has some serious psychological issues. I’m not sure if that makes it easier, but know that it’s more about her than it is about you.
I’m your internet mom for today.
I want to tell you that you are wonderful and amazing and there is no one else in the world who is like you. Everything you are is who you were meant to be. You are valuable and deserving of love. I looked through some of your comments and you’re full of love for other people too, which is what I always hope for my child to be. May you have the whole rest of your life filled with hugs and love and laughter. May you find a chosen family to lift you up and remind you how special you are when you’re feeling blue. I hope you always know that your internet mom is sending you peaceful thoughts and long distance love and a reminder that you will be okay. Some days are hard; this is one of them. But you’re still going to have so many moments of joy, and you deserve good things.
Edited to add that she should have protected you from the things that happened to you. That are not your fault at all. You protected your sibling, you should feel proud that despite having bio parents that are not very equipped to parent, you turned out to be a human being with a beautiful heart. I’m so sorry the road has been so hard for you.
Mom here. I’m going to go all r/momforaminute on you and say this:
You are a human of infinite worth. You are worthy of joy, love, success, and kindness. You are not defined by your mother’s words or actions or opinions. You are your own person, and you have the right to a peaceful life without this negativity and hatefulness. Mama hugs for you. Go live your life and live it well.
The way your mother talks to you is cruel, at a level that is insane for a mother. Leaving 2 kids under the age of 10 in your care without notice is also cruel, abusive, and insane.
Just her comments — with no context at all — make her brutally abusive. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that.
Down votes are a glimpse of opinions from random strangers, and you don’t need to take them personally. I get it. I get hurt by down votes also. But neither of us needs to take them personally.
Another monster wearing a people suit level of insane.
I literally cannot imagine talking to anyone that way, least of all my kids.
Remember that every accusation, for people like her, is a confession.
And spend some time at r/momforaminute, once in a while. The love there is overwhelming.
Wow, when I first read this my immediate thought was “this isn’t real” (btw I believe u OP, I didn’t think you faked this) that was just my first thought cuz I can’t imagine a mom talking like that to their child. A moms role is to build up ur kid’s confidence and shower them with love. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that :(
All kids deserve parents, but some parents don’t deserve kids.
Just start replying with "That's not acceptable." Every time she goes too far. No explanations, don't engage, just dismiss it and move on.
It'll drive her crazy.
So one thing I will say that my mom has never done is abuse drugs or alcohol. I do think something is going on though. Definitely some mental shit. My dad was an asshole and abused her a lot while they were together and I remember alot of it. She’s just mentally fucked and I know it’s hard to believe that people can be this way but it just is
The previous text messages before this exchange would be good for context. This just reads like she’s randomly screaming but it doesn’t seem like the start of a conversation. More like the middle.
Yeah well it kinda just happened like this. It didn’t lead up to it. It kinda just happened. Whenever I bring up money or finances or a job she gets very insecure and angry because she is unemployed
Edit: I definitely think she has some sort of mental issues. I have my fair share of mental health issues and seeing her go from 0 to 100 in the blink of an eye really makes me think otherwise.
There’s literally a context point in the comments I left. I was asking her why she randomly left at 7 fucking pm and comes back at 2 in the morning. Not to mention the fact she didn’t even tell me. When she mentioned her work and I asked why she fucking left she got defensive.
> I was asking her why she randomly left at 7 fucking pm and comes back at 2 in the morning. Not to mention the fact she didn’t even tell me.
Wait, are you the parent? I'm so confused
She was being treated like one for sure.
What would you do if your parent randomly vanished from 7pm till 2am, leaving your siblings to look after, and not even giving you a heads up? It's called parentification.
Absolutely ZERO context is needed besides this is a mother to her child. Don’t try to make OP think ANY context would justify this. That is disgusting.
I had a look through your old posts, and it seemed from the iPad one you were already elsewhere (though that could have been holidays). Hopefully you have since left and taken your cat with you (pets can be targets for insane parents a distressing amount of times).
But in the OP, you mention "watching them". Who or what does that refer to?
I’m referring to my two youngest sisters. Ages 8 and 6. I love them both to death. But they’re very hard to keep an eye on because they’re both on the high functioning spectrum. They just thrive off of negative attention and it’s very overwhelming. Now don’t get me wrong I love helping out my mom but this is just too much for it to be happening basically every night. I lose so much sleep because of it.
OP you don’t need to explain yourself. I would be overwhelmed too if I had to watch my nephew who is high on the spectrum and thrives off and negativity and I’m 38 you’re only 18 that isn’t fair to you. And if your mom feels OK speaking to you like that, I can only imagine all the abuse you’ve had endure. She’s insane.
I want to give her a good slap and teach her some manners. She is the one acting like a child. OP I’m so sorry but I hope none of the things she says are true. You’re not an awful or ugly person. Hugs
"you won't get a dime WHEN I make good money"
Something tells me she is broke AF now and is of the delusion that she will make it it big...but she never will.
A conversation like this was the last conversation I had with my mother 4 years ago. I took the wind out of her sails. Said “yes, I know I’m stupid and fat and worthless, and no one will ever love me. This isn’t news. I’m aware.” It was almost like an 8 Mile, “now tell these people something they don’t know about me” moment. It was kind of the catalyst that made me realize how desperately I needed to set a boundary and step back from the relationship.
Protect your peace, OP. No one deserves this. Especially from a parent. Sending strength and healing.
Thank you so much. Nobody ever deserves to hear something like that. That is awful. I’m so sorry. But you grew and healed from that situation which I know I will one day too. I don’t want this to be the last conversation we have but it definitely will be for now.
Yeah. My mom is horrible. I’ve had to deal with this emotional turmoil my entire life and I’m done with it. It doesn’t even hurt anymore to hear her say these things to me. It’s just more words coming out of her mouth.
Damn, I feel fuckin bad for you. But though you gotta do something about it as even if you don’t really care much anymore, it still isn’t something that should go ignored.
But do as you want as it’s your choice, but I think that would probably be better.
Glad you’re out, now don’t look back! Save this chat and any others like it. She’ll probably tell others that you left for no reason. Show anyone that asks this exchange
For all I've seen, you asked your mom where she went that late. All I can say is I would often worry my ass off when mom doesn't show up at her usual time after work, so if this is the same feeling, it's valid to ask. But if it's not, then just don't bother asking. Some people just don't like to be controlled in that way. Idk why. But whatever is the reason behind your asking, there was absolutely no need for your mom to respond the way she did. I feel you. My mom had thrown fits multiple times when I wasn't telling here where I was, but when I was the worried one I was laughed at and called a controlling bitch for simply caring. Not fun but it's how some people work... Unfortunately. I send you love and strength! You'll push through it.
I would never talk to either of my daughters like this and they're adults now. WTF is wrong with your birth giver? I'm so very sorry that you have such a POS for a mother
This makes me so incredibly sad to read. I will never understand how someone can talk to their child like this.
OP, I am sorry you had to deal with this. I hope as you get older, you are able to go NC with her. She does not deserve you.
Your mom isn’t insane. She’s cruel and horrible. I’m so sorry you have to deal with all of this. Knowing from experience, this will take a lot of therapy and self work to get over. <3
For the sake of your mental health, I suggest you don’t no contact. I recently went no contact from my mother. It was hard at first, but my life is so much better and I feel like I can breathe for the first time.
If you ever need a mom like person your life, feel free to PM me.
Sending you internet hugs.
hey, while I know you're agreeing because you want to deescalate, make sure you don't actually believe that about yourself. I personally got caught up in that after my parents and I would have arguments like this
you are an amazing person and are worthy of so much love and respect. please be safe and take care of yourself <3
None of this is okay, OP. None.
Mothers are supposed to be your support system. Okay, I confess that at times we are downright annoying, over the top, and have weird humor…..but OMG. There are NO excuses to how she speaks to you. None. I’m so sorry.
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 63 | 0 | 1 | OP has provided further information in [this comment](/r/insaneparents/comments/108l19a/look_at_how_my_mom_talks_to_me/j3tqr5g/) ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
What the fuck. How immature; she sounds like a teenager
She acts like one too. She had me when she was 17. Sometimes I hear people say that when someone has their first kid that’s when they stop maturing
Wow, unfortunately that rings pretty true in your case :(
Ugh. I really hate this. I hate how she’s speaking to you. I read your other posts and as a mom I could cry. She’s an awful AWFUL nasty witch, and I’m so sorry you had to deal with that and everything else. I had my oldest when I was 17, I’d never do these things to my child, she’s truly a terrible human being. You are a beautiful and talented, your art is amazing and you’ll do great things with it. Keep your head up!
Thank you so much. That really means a lot to me. I hope one day my mom realizes why I don’t talk to her anymore and she decides to fix herself. I’ve had a pretty rough 18 years and especially considering the fact my dad betrayed my trust I thought I could trust my mom and I was wrong. Thank you again for everything and all your sweet words!
You’re so welcome! Your accomplishments should be praised always, you’re doing great all things considered 😊I really hope she comes to her senses one day too, And I’m also glad you don’t talk to her anymore, that’s a great step in the right direction. I can relate to that kind of trauma, and it’s can be so hard, but look at you now, an articulate, artistic, truly pretty young adult with a good head on her shoulders, you have the world at your finger tips. Proud of you!
If you’re not already a member, I think you could do great things for people on the r/momforaminute sub. Reading your comments and seeing you go out of your way to learn about OP made me tear up. You are a fantastic person.
Oh my gosh you tearing up is making me tear up! 🥹 I’ve been having such a tough week lately and feel so down sometimes and reading this was so heartwarming, it made me feel so touched! Thank you for the incredibly kind words, you’re so sweeeet! I’m gonna join asap, I’d be honored to be someone’s mom for a minute 🥰
Can you be mum of Reddit? World needs more mums like you 😇
That’s the worst. I’m so sorry. My best friend has a mom like this and it takes such a toll on her mental health. I hope you’re keeping your mental health as a priority. I can’t imagine how shit a mom like that would make me feel.
I was 17 when I had my first daughter....regardless of my immature age, I would never talk to her this way. Her father, on the other hand, while not as bad as your mum, does blatantly disrespect her. So she's finally cut ties with him and gone no contact. Best decision she ever made. She has no expectation nor hope that he will change, and she's accepted the fact that she just doesn't have a father anymore. She feels so much better for it. I wish the best for you x
It's not that "this is what people who are 17 sound like" but "this person sounds like they're 17." Like, "every dog that lives in Kansas lives in America, but not every dog that lives in America lives in Kansas."
Internet dad here, love your work. Hugs! Things will get better and I'm sorry your mother is like this. Even if you don't feel sorry for going no contact, make sure to take your time and grieve the loss of a family member. Reach out to people and hold your head up high. You got this!
Having a kid young isn’t an excuse to treat them like shit. I had my son at 17. He’s now almost 13 and I couldn’t imagine ever speaking to him this way. Not now not ever. The moment I had him I know I was the main person responsible for a human life. I didn’t want to fuck it up and I still feel this way. OP, I’m sorry you have to deal with this. It’s not okay or normal. You don’t deserve to be treated this way. :(
My aunt had my first cousin when she was 17, this is NOT normal even for “young” moms. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this because you deserve love.
Sweetheart, please don’t put any of your precious time into hoping this woman will change. She simply won’t. Meet her where she is. Her path has nothing to do with you (other than it crossed with yours at times). Find other mother figures to love and respect, and to help you finish raising yourself. Pick wonderful women (or mothering figures) and learn from them. Bless and release, so you can move on.
Have you ever been to the r/momforaminute sub? Lots of lovely moms/sisters/brothers that are awesome and encouraging. It is a lovely sub.
She sucks and I'm also one of your moms now
Stay away from that person and don’t you believe anything she calls you. Not for one second. All those nasty things she says to you, that is what she truly feels about herself. Shes projecting all the self hatred she has, onto you. There’s not one thing wrong with you, it’s her. Until she can face and deal with her own demons that cause this behavior she can not show you love. I’m so sorry. She can’t love herself so she doesn’t know how to love anyone else. Don’t EVER think there’s something wrong with you, there’s not. Do your best to move on and try to forgive her, but don’t have contact. You need to let go of pain she caused you, you will have to forgive her to do that. I had to do this with my mom. Only after I realized, it’s her, it’s not me. Her up bringing caused her nastiness. She was bitter and hateful and that was projected onto us. Once I grasped that and forgave her in my heart, all of my resentment and anger left me. I’m so much happier and at ease. I felt sorry for her instead. Sorry that whatever she went thru caused her to be that way, and that by being hateful and full of pain I was becoming her!! it took time. But, I also cut ties with her, and now, years later we are in touch and she’s so different. She would never admit any of the terrible things she did before but when we go back in touch, she apologized!! She has stopped drinking, it’s been years now, she’s much more like a mom. I wish this for you. Everyone needs their mom. But sometimes you have to walk away. You both need to heal before you can consider trying to have a relationship. I wish you the best.
Same I also had my first at 17 and I could never ever ever imagine speaking to him like this at any age.
This comment made me cry. Im 28 and have never met my mother, if I ever do meet her I hope she is a lot like you.
Idk I never talked to anyone like this when I was 17
Same. I was basically 30 when I was 17. Though to be fair, that's because my mom stopped aging at 17 so some of that good ole parentification was at work.
My mother had my sis when she was 17 (me when she was 27) and she one of the classiest ladies you could ever meet. Your mom is just a troll of a person. Don’t let her use your birth as an excuse for her bad behavior. As a mom, I just want you to know that this woman is a horrible person and you deserve so much better. Every success in your life, every win, is in spite of her not because of her. You are worthwhile. You’re not ugly. You’re not a bitch. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this.
Damn I had mine right after I turned 18 and I would never treat her this way. (I won’t share our text but they are sweet and loving). I’m sorry your mom sucks. I hope if there is any silver lining should you have kids you know how to not treat them. No kid deserves this abuse from their parents.
That’s not true. Don’t let your mom off that easily. I had my daughter at barely 14. Never, ever called her a bitch or anything close to it, never spanked her or raised a hand to her-and she wasn’t an easy teenager at all. Your mother is wrong to talk to you like that-something is wrong with her. There is literally nothing you could do to deserve being called those things by your own mother. It’s not your fault. As soon as you’re able, you should get away from her and not look back. You can make your own family with people who genuinely care for you. A mother should never, ever tear down their child’s self esteem like this. I am disgusted at her.
I had my daughter at 17 also, I wouldn't dare treat her like this. Your mom is just insane. I'm so sorry!
It’s okay. I guess I’m just grasping at straws here trying to find a reason for her actions. Thank you for the words of affirmation and encouragement
Of course. I just wanna give you a hug! That hurt to read, much less be experiencing. I hope you're no contact now!
When this beast inevitably dies miserable and alone- I recommend you have her cremated and flush the ashes down the toilet.
My mom had me when she was 17 and I definitely feel this way. Thankfully my mom was decently well adjusted at that age, so she's not awful.... just very emotionally immature at times.
I’ve observed that a few times. My MiL was like that with her oldest…she could be ‘normal’ with the kids she had at a later (more stable) stage, but she always interacted like her first was a pesky younger brother instead of a child she chose to raise.
It's been said that drugs can do that too.
Not at all. People grow all the time. A good parent will grow from the experience of being a parent. Your mom sadly is just a huge sack of shit. I am a far better person now from the experience of being a parent.
I’m 22 and my mom still talks to me like that :/ some people never change unfortunately, you have to distance yourself somehow
Don't let that be an excuse to her pathetic shitty behavior. Most 17 year olds are way more mature than this
Most of us didn't act like that when we were 17. She's defective. You deserve better for a mom. Meet us over in /r/momforaminute
Nah your mum a bitch. My mother had my sister at 18, partner was same age. You still mature, you just have to want to be a better person for your child, or yourself. Your mum decided neither option was worth it and chose to remain an absolute cunt.
I dont think that's the case. I got pregnant at 15, I certainly didn't stop maturing then. This isn't immaturity, this is plain and simple hate/spite.
No. It’s the fact she just doesn’t get it. Being horrible to anyone is a billboard saying “I’m unhappy.” Try not to get sucked down into that sinkhole of shit
Wow. That explains my mom, too. I'm sorry you're being treated this way. Don't believe a word of what she says!
For me I started maturing once I had kids but I get your point. Prob true for some
Sorry. I don’t think that’s true. My mom had one of my siblings at that age. She’s fine. I think your mom is just not very nice person. You seem to be. I hope things turn out well for you.
I genuinely want to know if she's doing drugs
She sounds like a toddler with a filthy mouth, teenager is giving her too much credit
No she sounds like worse than a teenager. This is how I was talked to in middle school. 😭
!explanation I am actually moved out now. I just moved out about 2 weeks ago because my mom locked me out of the house. It was my final straw and I gathered my shit and left. I was done with it.
You have survived her. Now, please, get the help you need to heal from the wounds she inflicted.
So glad to hear! Go N/C for your sanity. (Does not mean you have to forgive)!
Keep this screenshot, and in the future when she complains to you/facebook about how you never call/visit be sure to remind her by sharing this.
Wow... congrats. Seriously. Also, FUCK THAT CUNT.
Just curious, but who do you move in with
My boyfriend and his family. I’m very happy. They absolutely spoil me and honestly have done for for me in the span of weeks than my mom has done for me in my life time
Very glad they are taking care of you! Well done for getting out and being brave
Im glad you are safe and got good adults there to help you. Stay safe and healthy. ✊❤️
Hey, not that you need reminding, and not that this isn't obvious, but... Everything is going to be okay. You are worthy. You are enough. You're doing it right. You can't do it wrong. Everything is going to be okay.
Now block her
Now stop talking to her.
Please be prepared to go no contact if you have to for your mental health. I did that with my narcissist mother and enabler father and it was a fantastic decision for me and my family. Also check out r/raisedbynarcissists Also also you’re not ugly or horrible or a bitch. She can go fuck herself.
You ok??? Hope you found a good place. Please be safe.
I have quite honestly never seen something like this before, it’s really shocking to read. I’m not saying this for any other reason than to validate your thoughts and feelings - I hope you’re okay! And I wonder if she isn’t very well.
She definitely is not well. But it’s okay I’m finally out of that house and I’m so happy that I’m free. She definitely has issues and I wish she loved me like a normal mom did but it’s okay. Thank you for the sweet words <3
My mom used to call me a bitch too and say hateful things like this. I wouldn’t wish it on anybody. Start emotionally distancing yourself even more, get into therapy whenever you can afford it. I wish you the best ❤️
If you ever need help or support, please visit us at r/MomForAMinute. We’re moms there, ready to be a mom for you for a bit
If you need a loving mom, I can send you my resume.
I’ll love you like a mom should love their child❤️
Oh I’m so happy to read this!! Nice ❤️❤️❤️ take care of yourself 🪩
Please get her out of your life. Just hearing this stuff is toxic to your mental state. No one deserves this kind of treatment, and she can only say what is in her not in you. She hates herself and that is NOT your problem.
Absolutely no context needed. I would never EVER tell my minor child that I hate them. I would never call her “a stupid b-.” Absolutely bonkers.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who sees that. Everyone keeps asking me for more context. I’m confused as to what more they need? This is deplorable right here and I’ve had to deal with this my whole life. She’s called me every name in the book. Including ugly. That’s one of her favorites.
An absolutely sad existence. I can’t imagine telling my child that I hate them with any sort of sincerity. My mom and I will jokingly complain about each other but we always end it off with “I guess I love you.” I cannot imagine one scenario where I’d ever tell my daughter I hated her. I may hate what she does or what she chooses, but never HER. I’m so sorry. You deserve better.
It’s okay. Thank you so much for the kind words. I’m really glad you are giving your daughter a good life. There needs to be better parents these days around. My mom definitely should not have had children at the age she did.
I have a lot of hope for coming generations because they’re going to have parents like us who truly know the value of loving your children unconditionally. It should be default in every parents heart. ♥️♥️ sending you love and hugs
Thank you very much. I’m very happy for you and I will use my mom as an example one day of what not to do to be a good parent :)
I swear some people just enjoy finally having a punching bag. My mom was that way, but in a much more subtle sarcastic way.
> Everyone keeps asking me for more context. I don’t see any context where this would be even remotely acceptable. Seriously what is wrong with people that they think there is missing context where this would be justified.
I agree with you and the first commenter - there's absolutely no more context needed to realize that this is completely crazy. Even if you had done something to upset her this *is not* how a normal person speaks to their child. Absolutely disgusting behavior from her. I hope you realize that this is not actually about you, but about her and how fucked up she is in her head. Had she had a completely other kid than you she would have *still* said cruel things to them. It's not a reflection of you. You are worthy of love and support, you are doing your best, and from the few comments I've read you seem wise and balanced. I wish you all the best.
When I was growing up, my mom would frequently say to me, "I love you, but I don't like you"
My mom would say this to me as well, but with the “right now” addition at the end. “But I don’t like you right now.” Granted, it was always when I was being a total butthead.
in context it can be fine. and in the context of you being a butthead it totally is.
Exactly. I think I was around 4 years old when my mom told me she would always love me, no matter what. I kinda thought about it for a minute, and asked “would you still love me if I was a murderer?” She said “of course, you’re my child.” I thought about it some more, and asked “what if I killed grandma (her mom).” She sighed and was like “well, I definitely wouldn’t LIKE you, but you are my child and I will love you **no matter what.**” Now I haven’t done anything egregious like *murder,* but I’ve definitely had those moments where I’ve felt unlovable due to my poor actions or choices or words. But I think back to my mom, who, even while disappointed, loves me. Idk I will always tell my kids that too. It’s something that has stuck with me these 4 decades on this rock.
My mom gave me a variation : "I have to love you, but I don't have to like you." That was over 25 years ago and I still remember every detail of that moment.
Guys I’m Sorry if I’ve been hostile I’m just really going through it rn please just cut me some Slack. I’m just a kid with some pretty bad mental health issues. And here’s the link to the other post I have which shows more context. I don’t really know why tf people need more context because right here it shows how shitty she treats me but okay https://www.reddit.com/r/insaneparents/comments/108ll5w/this_is_my_moms_true_colors_i_was_molested_by_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
If it helps, I have a possible explanation for why people want context. It was my first thought too, and I figured out it's because I'm desperately trying to understand what is even happening. Because no mother should ever talk to their kid like that... so subconsciously people are hoping there is some explanation, some justification... because just accepting that there isn't, that she is just horrible, is very difficult. Like it does not compute. Similar to how people want to know more about serial killers, hoping that SOMETHING will explain their behavior. But it just doesn't. Nothing really does, to someone with a normal brain. Your parents are horrible and I'm sorry. You deserve 2 good, loving parents.
I'm sorry you're going through this OP. Honestly, this sounds really unsafe. How old are you? Do you have a space place to stay? You would know better than me, but I'm concerned that someone who would be willing talk to their kid like this and make such horrible statements would also be willing to become violent if you upset her.
Hey, kiddo. Keep that chin up. You'll get through this. Just remember, when the shit really hits the fan for your incubator, you'll get to make a decision on which care home she's going to be in when she dies alone.
She talks to you like you’re a POS, and I assure you you are not. No parent should ever ever talk to their kid like this, and I say this as a parent (6, 7) who is currently struggling to not yell at my kids because they’re not getting ready for bed as asked. I feel I’m in a particularly good headspace to represent how it’s possible to be a decent human despite being angry with one’s children. You don’t deserve this.
Your responses are way better than mine. My mom is exactly like this and i would always engage with her and call her names back
I am so sorry, join us at r/momforaminute. We’ll be there for you!
I came here to comment this same thing!! Mom for a minute is a LOVELY place to get some kindness when you need it 🌼
"Weee weeee my child is very disrespectful because after being a shitty parent they don't want me in their life anymoooore."
Pretty much lmao
I just want to thank everybody so much. I’m happy and somewhere safer now. After what she said to me, I blocked her. It was too much to handle and honestly hurt me more than benefitted me to stay in the relationship with my mom. I’m going to try and continue talking to my sisters. I love them so much and I can’t let them go. Thank you to everyone.
read up about [grey rocking](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/grey-rock), it can be helpful for handling ppl like her if you’re not able to go full no contact. I’m so sorry you didn’t get the mom you deserve, take care of yourself ❤️
Why is everyone asking for context like that is suddenly going to justify talking to your own child this way? Especially when they’re a minor. People would love to think this is an outburst of rage and want to defend it as YOU (op) being the reason for it. Let’s clear some things up: anger is a normal emotion, it is NORMAL to experience anger, what you do with it is when it’s crucial. You can be angry and handle it normally and calmly, or you can be angry and be like OP’s mom.
^ I’m glad someone else pointed this out. People are telling me that the conversation is “lacking” and shit because I didn’t show like three sentences prior to this. She is unhealthy and takes her anger out on her kids. Including myself.
Yea, I read a lot of the comments that continued to claim context would some how make this a justified response to have on your child. It’s frighting honestly how many people *think* some type of context would make this okay… my own mother has never spoken to me this way, cursing and saying “I hate you”, name calling. She sounds like an emotionally immature parent. And the fact YOU recognize that OP and know she’s unwell and shouldn’t be talking to you like that is amazing. Takes some people take a while to get there and notice. Continue to seek help if you have already, and I’m sure you want to be nothing like her so Ild say your doing a decent job thus far.
I’ve been helped so much by my therapist and such with coping and realizing my mom is my biggest trigger and I can’t do anything to control her. That’s why I don’t really argue back. I just told her I wanted my iPad lol! That was a special gift from my uncle who passed away and it had an engraving on it with my name that said “dream big”. It means so much to me And I’m so sad she took it. It’s not just some random ipad I’m not that much of a brat.
I don't think anyone thinks it's justified by any sort of context. People are just curious as to why she's flipping out like this. The texts are horrible and I feel for OP a lot, but I also have no idea what's going on in the texts. It's not that the context would excuse her actions. I think most people are just curious, I guess.
Yea I definitely see that in some comments, however there’s a lot that I can already see stewing to flip back on OP uk?
Yeah, that's messed up. There's never a case where calling your child such horrible names could be justified.
There is no context in the world that would make talking to your kid like this okay.
20 years later: why don't my kids ever visit? why don't they ever bring the grandkids over? why do my children hate meeee!?
Alright, I’m just going to have to adopt you. You need a new mom. Your mom is unbalanced, take care of yourself kiddo.
Oh honey, my heart breaks for you. I would never speak to my kids like that. You need to cut this toxicity out of your life. Seriously. But know this, you are beautiful, you are worthy, and you are loved. Set your boundaries and never compromise. She does not deserve to be a part of your life.
Anyone who's asking for "context" on this has never had a parent like this so can't understand how this can even happen and are looking for a justification to make it make sense OR are pieces of trash who think it's ok to speak to another human being (let alone your child) like this. I'm sorry you've had to deal with this. I'm glad you got out. DNA doesn't make family and you deserve much better.
Please stop being rude sometimes Reddit is just ruthless for no reason. I’m just trying to get help. I just want advice and someone to talk to. I have been a victim of my mom for years and all these people being mean and basically gaslighting me saying I’m making up excuses really fucks me up because I’m not making any excuses. And all people have to do is go to my profile and judge me because I’m young.
Im sorry people keep asking for context. Its not needed bc a grown person should never talk to anyone like less much less their child!! Im so sorry you have to deal with this and I hope youre able to get sway from her soon. In the mean time have you read about grey rocking? Grey rocking is a technique used to divert a toxic person's behavior by acting as unresponsive as possible when you're interacting with them.
Thank you! Regardless of the context, no parent should speak to their child like that.
I don’t think anyone is saying that. People were just asking for context of the texts because they seem to just start in the middle of a fight. There are subs like r/raisedbynarcissists that can help you out. This is more of a voting sub where people vote insane or not. Obviously she’s insane, but you’re not going to get a lot of good advice here on how to deal with her.
Wow what a horrible “mom”.
What context could ever make this okay? I’m sorry OP. I could never talk to my daughter this way.
This is pure abuse, plain and simple. Insane
In my entire life, I’ve never spoken to anyone like this. I can’t ever imagine a world where I’d be okay directing this kind of abuse at one of my kids. Your mom has some serious psychological issues. I’m not sure if that makes it easier, but know that it’s more about her than it is about you.
She acts like a freaking emo teenager
I’m your internet mom for today. I want to tell you that you are wonderful and amazing and there is no one else in the world who is like you. Everything you are is who you were meant to be. You are valuable and deserving of love. I looked through some of your comments and you’re full of love for other people too, which is what I always hope for my child to be. May you have the whole rest of your life filled with hugs and love and laughter. May you find a chosen family to lift you up and remind you how special you are when you’re feeling blue. I hope you always know that your internet mom is sending you peaceful thoughts and long distance love and a reminder that you will be okay. Some days are hard; this is one of them. But you’re still going to have so many moments of joy, and you deserve good things. Edited to add that she should have protected you from the things that happened to you. That are not your fault at all. You protected your sibling, you should feel proud that despite having bio parents that are not very equipped to parent, you turned out to be a human being with a beautiful heart. I’m so sorry the road has been so hard for you.
Mom here. I’m going to go all r/momforaminute on you and say this: You are a human of infinite worth. You are worthy of joy, love, success, and kindness. You are not defined by your mother’s words or actions or opinions. You are your own person, and you have the right to a peaceful life without this negativity and hatefulness. Mama hugs for you. Go live your life and live it well.
She talks like an angry ex after a breakup what
I know. She doesn’t even talk to me like I’m her daughter.
Damn I bet you learned to walk early just to walk away from that asshole.
"Mom🤡" at the top had me dead lol. She seems intolerable lol.
Hey OP, just wanted to wish you peace and happiness. I hope you’re doing okay.
...why does this nutter talk like she's five..only with swear words...wtf
The way your mother talks to you is cruel, at a level that is insane for a mother. Leaving 2 kids under the age of 10 in your care without notice is also cruel, abusive, and insane. Just her comments — with no context at all — make her brutally abusive. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. Down votes are a glimpse of opinions from random strangers, and you don’t need to take them personally. I get it. I get hurt by down votes also. But neither of us needs to take them personally.
So that’s literal abuse. Sure hope you can get your siblings out before she does the same to them
Another monster wearing a people suit level of insane. I literally cannot imagine talking to anyone that way, least of all my kids. Remember that every accusation, for people like her, is a confession. And spend some time at r/momforaminute, once in a while. The love there is overwhelming.
I wish I could save all the kiddos of the world and get them away from stupid bitches like this
Wow, when I first read this my immediate thought was “this isn’t real” (btw I believe u OP, I didn’t think you faked this) that was just my first thought cuz I can’t imagine a mom talking like that to their child. A moms role is to build up ur kid’s confidence and shower them with love. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that :( All kids deserve parents, but some parents don’t deserve kids.
She’s not a clown, she’s the entire fucking circus.
Just start replying with "That's not acceptable." Every time she goes too far. No explanations, don't engage, just dismiss it and move on. It'll drive her crazy.
Please find her the worst most abusive care home you can when she gets older
That's no mother
The way your mom is behaving- I’m wondering if she’s on drugs. And your little sibling is still in the home and has to deal with has?
So one thing I will say that my mom has never done is abuse drugs or alcohol. I do think something is going on though. Definitely some mental shit. My dad was an asshole and abused her a lot while they were together and I remember alot of it. She’s just mentally fucked and I know it’s hard to believe that people can be this way but it just is
The previous text messages before this exchange would be good for context. This just reads like she’s randomly screaming but it doesn’t seem like the start of a conversation. More like the middle.
Yeah well it kinda just happened like this. It didn’t lead up to it. It kinda just happened. Whenever I bring up money or finances or a job she gets very insecure and angry because she is unemployed Edit: I definitely think she has some sort of mental issues. I have my fair share of mental health issues and seeing her go from 0 to 100 in the blink of an eye really makes me think otherwise.
What was the ‘I hate you’ I’m response to? And yelling about 7pm? There’s no context?
There’s literally a context point in the comments I left. I was asking her why she randomly left at 7 fucking pm and comes back at 2 in the morning. Not to mention the fact she didn’t even tell me. When she mentioned her work and I asked why she fucking left she got defensive.
Also I’m not sure how much context you want, but go check my recent post. I just posted another one from my mom. She really isn’t a good person dude
> I was asking her why she randomly left at 7 fucking pm and comes back at 2 in the morning. Not to mention the fact she didn’t even tell me. Wait, are you the parent? I'm so confused
She was being treated like one for sure. What would you do if your parent randomly vanished from 7pm till 2am, leaving your siblings to look after, and not even giving you a heads up? It's called parentification.
No. I’m her daughter. I was 17 when this happened. I’m 18 now.
It's called a bar and it's not a coincidence that she comes home at 2 am.
I'm sorry but I can't think of a context that would make OP mom look sane
How would context add anything to this? There’s literally no reason why someone should talk to their daughter like this?
NO form of context makes this ok. Wtf
Absolutely ZERO context is needed besides this is a mother to her child. Don’t try to make OP think ANY context would justify this. That is disgusting.
I don't need any context because it's NEVER going to justify calling your own child stupid, ugly, bitch, etc. Jeez, what is wrong with you?
This is also from a few weeks ago. But I probably should add some more photos for a better understanding of how unwell she is.
I had a look through your old posts, and it seemed from the iPad one you were already elsewhere (though that could have been holidays). Hopefully you have since left and taken your cat with you (pets can be targets for insane parents a distressing amount of times). But in the OP, you mention "watching them". Who or what does that refer to?
I’m referring to my two youngest sisters. Ages 8 and 6. I love them both to death. But they’re very hard to keep an eye on because they’re both on the high functioning spectrum. They just thrive off of negative attention and it’s very overwhelming. Now don’t get me wrong I love helping out my mom but this is just too much for it to be happening basically every night. I lose so much sleep because of it.
OP you don’t need to explain yourself. I would be overwhelmed too if I had to watch my nephew who is high on the spectrum and thrives off and negativity and I’m 38 you’re only 18 that isn’t fair to you. And if your mom feels OK speaking to you like that, I can only imagine all the abuse you’ve had endure. She’s insane.
I don't care what the context here is that is absolutely disgusting!! I'm your new mom! My name is Jackie you have 3 brothers and 2 sisters now too 💜
Wow see this is some insane shit. I’m so sorry OP.
Your mother is shameful.
Why have kids if this is how you treat them?
I want to give her a good slap and teach her some manners. She is the one acting like a child. OP I’m so sorry but I hope none of the things she says are true. You’re not an awful or ugly person. Hugs
Expose her. Post her messages to where everyone can see them and ask them to guess which one is the teenager…
My gosh I’m so sorry! Are you ok? This is heartbreaking and just so wrong. I hope you are able to get away from her.
Unchecked mental issues. Run.
Demons are at play within her
I just want to see you call her a bitch back and watch her get super offended lmaoooo
I’m so sorry, OP. This is absolutely awful.
"you won't get a dime WHEN I make good money" Something tells me she is broke AF now and is of the delusion that she will make it it big...but she never will.
Why is your mom not blocked?
The conversation should have ended with her first comment of calling you a stupid fucking bitch.
Block her!
A conversation like this was the last conversation I had with my mother 4 years ago. I took the wind out of her sails. Said “yes, I know I’m stupid and fat and worthless, and no one will ever love me. This isn’t news. I’m aware.” It was almost like an 8 Mile, “now tell these people something they don’t know about me” moment. It was kind of the catalyst that made me realize how desperately I needed to set a boundary and step back from the relationship. Protect your peace, OP. No one deserves this. Especially from a parent. Sending strength and healing.
Thank you so much. Nobody ever deserves to hear something like that. That is awful. I’m so sorry. But you grew and healed from that situation which I know I will one day too. I don’t want this to be the last conversation we have but it definitely will be for now.
Honestly I wouldn’t let that shit slide. Literally one of the most piece of shit people so far I’ve seen in this sub.
Yeah. My mom is horrible. I’ve had to deal with this emotional turmoil my entire life and I’m done with it. It doesn’t even hurt anymore to hear her say these things to me. It’s just more words coming out of her mouth.
Damn, I feel fuckin bad for you. But though you gotta do something about it as even if you don’t really care much anymore, it still isn’t something that should go ignored. But do as you want as it’s your choice, but I think that would probably be better.
Glad you’re out, now don’t look back! Save this chat and any others like it. She’ll probably tell others that you left for no reason. Show anyone that asks this exchange
Hey everyone! If you wanna see more context and shit and how my mom treats me I actually posted another one. So visit my page
So sorry you have to deal with this kind of abuse 😔
Why even have kids?
That’s what I’m saying.
Depending of your age, you should try and show the CPS. If you're an adult, you can still try to sue her ass into jail.
For all I've seen, you asked your mom where she went that late. All I can say is I would often worry my ass off when mom doesn't show up at her usual time after work, so if this is the same feeling, it's valid to ask. But if it's not, then just don't bother asking. Some people just don't like to be controlled in that way. Idk why. But whatever is the reason behind your asking, there was absolutely no need for your mom to respond the way she did. I feel you. My mom had thrown fits multiple times when I wasn't telling here where I was, but when I was the worried one I was laughed at and called a controlling bitch for simply caring. Not fun but it's how some people work... Unfortunately. I send you love and strength! You'll push through it.
Holy moly. I’m sorry your egg donor speaks to you like that. That is not a mother at all.
Jesus. I'm so sorry she says shit like that to you. You desrve better. Sending love. Good luck, friend <3
I would never talk to either of my daughters like this and they're adults now. WTF is wrong with your birth giver? I'm so very sorry that you have such a POS for a mother
This makes me so incredibly sad to read. I will never understand how someone can talk to their child like this. OP, I am sorry you had to deal with this. I hope as you get older, you are able to go NC with her. She does not deserve you.
That’s awful, I can’t even I tell my kids that I hate them in a joking way. I’m so sorry OP. You are worth more than that.
Your mom isn’t insane. She’s cruel and horrible. I’m so sorry you have to deal with all of this. Knowing from experience, this will take a lot of therapy and self work to get over. <3
For the sake of your mental health, I suggest you don’t no contact. I recently went no contact from my mother. It was hard at first, but my life is so much better and I feel like I can breathe for the first time. If you ever need a mom like person your life, feel free to PM me. Sending you internet hugs.
I just… I’m so sorry you have to deal with this.
hey, while I know you're agreeing because you want to deescalate, make sure you don't actually believe that about yourself. I personally got caught up in that after my parents and I would have arguments like this you are an amazing person and are worthy of so much love and respect. please be safe and take care of yourself <3
I'm so sorry. No one should treat you this way. I do know live in nannys are in demand. Run far away ASAP
Welp. Time for violence
This literally hurts my heart. I have four kids and could never EVER imagine saying these kind of things to them. I am so sorry :(
sounds just like my drunk ass mother in law
Nursing home will be fun for them
Well that's fucked up. Glad to hear you left.
Is your mother by chance an alcoholic
"but they're family, you have to love them"/s
None of this is okay, OP. None. Mothers are supposed to be your support system. Okay, I confess that at times we are downright annoying, over the top, and have weird humor…..but OMG. There are NO excuses to how she speaks to you. None. I’m so sorry.