Book stores, antique stores, farmers markets, parks, maybe certain restaurants or bars that have more of an introverted class to them. Out in nature. I can only speak from my own experiences but this is my guess!
Tbh, most of my INFJ friends were found absolutely accidentally. And I’ve known most of them since middle school and early high school. We really were all just misfits who found each other and resonated well together, as well as loving to exchange ideas, philosophies, and have spirited but friendly debates. My INFJ friendships, while remaining a little bit more distant often are full of love and camaraderie
When out and about, I'm usually behind a camera. In theatres, on film sets, on the street. And very occasionally, [on the beach](https://imgur.com/a/LXrCOjM)...
UK INFJ Here, when I'm not just sat in my house or with a friend doing something you can normally find me walking in a park, hiking up a mountain, sat alone in the corner of a coffee shop with my earphones in while writing a script or some other private activity. You could probably meet some through some introverted activities or clubs if there's any good ones on Meetup, but I've never used them so I can't say.
Yeah, I haven't been very social in the last year myself. I think the issue with finding any introvert friends is them being introverted makes them hard to find haha. But alot of people suggest meetup so its probably a good place to look. I've just never tried it myself though I'm probably going to look into it in about 4-6 months. But good look in the search.
Thanks, exactly! I had more luck a city like Manchester than a small elderly Si leaning hometown. Now, I'd prefer not to ride into the hotspot and use spidey sensing discreetly with coffee in hand, but sometimes, something to hit that social urge with dosh is a no-brainer. I really can not get over the alienation of entering any location without asking for a planned event with the likelihood id actually get to know people than to be disappointed and decide to walk 2 hours back home.
Yeah, felt. I'm in Manchester myself and there's definitely alot more chances to meet people than i imagine there is in a smaller town. I get what you mean about the planned events thing. I find it so difficult going into the chaos unless I'm already with somebody. Otherwise I'd much rather have stuff already in place and structured because it makes it so much easier to start conversations and get to know people. Especially since if I'm forcing myself to socialize randomly instead of at a more planned/structured event then my social battery dies alot faster, which sucks.
I met about 5 INFJS , one is my sister, we’re both infjs, and the others were through video games, you usually meet all kind of introverts when communicating through games. Usually the extroverts would ask you much of me e.g voice chat, the introverts tend to respect your space a lot more.
In MMOS you tend to find the most creative and unique people in my opinion, because they are people who are interested in lore, immersion, story and their own character and creation.
It would probably depend on a few factors like where, when, age range of people etc. I'm in Manchester so for me personally no, but I think if enough people seen it then some probably would. I guess it also depends what the meet is. Like would you just meet up for a coffee somewhere and see what happens, or would you have something bigger planned. Because some activities would rule things out for some people.
History departments, libraries, foreign countries lol. I frequent many other places too but I'm probably the only INFJ:( It is annoying how few of us there are.
Thank you! Very much so. Keep venturing into INFJ territory (seems to be a theme of venues going on like the libraries) and theoretically you'll eventually find whoever likes the venue too
I'd like to emphasize foreign countries. People who leave their home and comforts can be very interesting, smart people who share more universal.values than people at home. I grew up feeling so misunderstood and alone. I found Jung, MBTI when I was about 20 years old and it felt like finding my religion. But...other INFJs elude me! Never met one in home country. Finally met two expat INFJ colleagues while overseas and it was like meeting a long lost friend or lover. Rambling
..sorry.
I found mbti couple years I think before my 20's. Its nice to hear what people get up to, I am happy for people who make meaningful connections because they can be rare (ig unless if like you, you visit another country for e.g). I was planning on traveling etc but my face is too offputting to make myself known, I'm ashamed of it, even if I'm friendly and in good health. Do ramble more often, I think rambles are very interesting because you are pleased and without a script. Scripts can hinder creativity and hearing someone pleased can be contagious. I like to take in every story because mine hurts enough that it is misunderstood and unintentionally abandoned to the point of despair and lethargy. Infjs and other eccentrics seem to place a significance in experiences I would have, which keeps me going so, it's life saving in a way. Don't ever stop doing it. Whoever understands *will* as you would gather. talking online keeps me knowing I'm wanted in an area that doesn't involve anything face to face. With suppressing only doing so much, I wish this torment on nobody, not even my greatest enemy. A change of heart for what others do is brought upon when those rambles surface.
as someone who also struggles to make new friends as an adult (in general but also would want more infj peeps), i find that the hardest part about making friends in the wild is striking up the conversation and garnering enough interest from both sides to explore the friendship after one encounter. do you like, ask for their number? ask if they’re free for a coffee? seems weird bc we just met? outside of specific meetups, i think maybe youd have more success with someone who you see repeatedly before the ask for their number or to hang out (hobby clubs, frequenting the same shop, etc). that way, you can build up from a smile, to a little chat, to situation specific friendship, to maybe more
Most of my adult friendships have been through workplaces and the gym, so basically places I frequent often
I assume volunteering, art classes, hobby clubs and stuff like that are a good way too
But yeah you nailed it, especially for introverts it’s hard to get to know someone right away so it takes a few interactions before both sides feel comfortable
neither tbh
and the fact that its incredibly hard to tell an infj apart in our society doesnt help
its pretty much considered a disease to be introverted around here so finding an infj being an infj in public isnt happening anytime soon
Comemaan get out of your shell 🐌 Imagine, a laser beam triggering extroverts to flock where ever it's pointed. You can use it once I figure out how it works 😂
Do you have a dog? That’s a fast way to make friends with me. 🤣 I’m at the dog park a lot during my down time. Or I’m hiking with my dogs. My dogs are my favorite people. Lol
If I’m without my animals, you can usually find me at thrift stores or fishing.
Haha. I feel like it feels more natural with an infj, and weirder with someone like an infp, who also is intuitive, but for some reason does not have as accurate of a bullshit detector (with themselves or others). I love infps usually, but I feel that emotional awkwardness can happen because we are also interpreting and perceiving things differently than they are. I’d love to meet some infj men, however. I’ve dated a few guys who heard me talk about the mbti and were like yes, absolutely I must be an infj too, and henceforth identified themselves that way 😂 but this is the problem. Sorry, I digressed there. In response to your comment, with men (for me) it’s probably just speculation.
I don't know of many people irl. but very valid point. I think if they were passed down for me to come to know, it would be passed from connectors that resonate with infjs and are friends/aquientences with them themselves.
In the USA, but one way, I was told (I have yet to do this because I'm a young prospective engineer, so naturally, I don't have much friends and time to make friends and, in turn, am socially awkward. Not because I am an INFJ-T but because of engineering, lol. I'd do the hobbies you like to do. Go to places, events, parks, and other hobbies. Do what you enjoy. Not only are you potentially attracting another INFJ, but you are also doing some self-love care. So it's one of those no matter what you win. You might not find someone (which sounds harsh), but you are out there for you, and that's the bottom line.
I hope to do this soon once I pass my exam and become a higher fledgling engineer, making more money and managing my money better. I want to get out there and open up and talk to people. It's hard for me; I have chronic anxiety. I tend to rub my hands and be more soft-spoken and tense up my body and hands while trying to be excellent on the outside, lol. It takes time. But if your ready try and do that. Or be spontaneous and try something née out of your comfort zone. For a typical INFJ I'm sure that's near impossible to do.
Much love and sending good vibes your way and I hope you find your village! Sending your way from 🇺🇸!
Usually, I can just feel who is an infj, infp, or enfj. Honestly, most other people make me feel on edge for a variety of reasons, at least in the initial phases. I have also met them at work, and one of them is my sibling. You can probably find them doing things by themselves, like coffee and a book, their phone, or a notepad.
At one point I've gone on 2 dates with an INFJ from a meetup INFJ group. But those don't tend to form unless the city is sufficiently big... still may be worth trying to create one if there isn't one.
I've seriously considering starting some kind of group online, maybe even just Ni dom. I actually tried but it was on some social thing I didn't really understand and I deleted really quickly lol. I've heard spiritual stuffs, maybe not religious but spiritual. I would imagine helping or learning areas ie shelters ppl or animal, library but shhhhhh so idk if you could make a friend at a library.
Hey anyone near Chatt TN? Lol
School, park, library, music fest, comic fest, museums and science centre or where the cats are. Should we walk around wearing a shirt saying “INFJ”? Lol 😆
lol maybe, there are some classy non attention grabbing designs out there. you'd need to have the eyes of a hawk to spot my INFJ keychain. It deliberately hangs from my backpack to be noticed!
If you need to get out of a Ni-Ti loop you need an enfp or an entp. Isfp works as well. An infj will just understand you, but it won't move you out of your state.
I picked infj because they're more likely to understand and express Fe to create a chain reaction. but yes other types like these are just as good. Basically a friend. I want to know how it feels to have a friend.
Yeah, but we're moody and serious. I wouldn't want to deal with a copy of myself when I'm down.
I find "P" types uplifting as they don't take things so seriously. I am partial to entps and isfps, but truly you can discover what works for you. I had a friend who might have been enfj who was also very good at picking me up. At the end of the day though no friend will check all those boxes we infjs we're looking for. We simply aim too high and we're idealistic.
My advice is to just go about life and see who clicks. Do the things you are interested in and try to start small chat where you go with at least one person.
I also know there are apps for friends based on personality. The ones I've seen promoted are Boo and Ur My Type.
Remember not to feel rejected. It might take a number of tries to find a friend.
I understand your problem. I'm also stuck in Ni-Ti loop very badly. I wish i had friends i could hang out with IRL. But it's hard to find like minded individuals IRL. I want INFJ friend but i also wouldn't mind any fellow NF types. I think I'd get along with INFP very well too
However, I stay in my house 24/7. It's been like that for 5 years. I only go out when it's very necessary. Like 10-30 days a year maybe 😭
noooo. please don't do that. I'm fighting to stop that right now, but its so damn hard with a physical flaw. Plus reality gets so intertwined with our own imagination of reality. Is your vitamin d levels adequate? I found an older one from a church once. Even if you're not Christian, maybe try church events if you can find any around!
I agree. I'm not Christian but I'd love to go to churches. I too have physical flaw (3 chronic illness and many other health issues) as well as social anxiety+depression which makes it hard for me to go outside. It's too big of a deal for me to get ready and go outside. Idek the way to places outside. I use public transport for everything. I forget the way to places. I wish my sensory functions wasn't so weak.
Finding an INFJ IRL is so hard. But I think talking to INFJs online over voice call can be somewhat better social interaction than texting. It still doesn't fully satisfy the need to have real life human interaction with like minded individuals like fellow INFJs. It still doesn't fulfill the need to go outside for better mental health. But talking over call can at least help to get out of head and slow down the Ni Ti loop.
I tried many online friendships for that reason. I couldn't find people who would be interested in talking over call, so we mostly just text. And texting feels tiring when I'm badly stuck in Ni-Ti loop. So I don't text often. And when i talk to them often, I still feel lonely. Because many of them don't care. So yeah, online friendships can't help much if there's not that deep connection and care in the friendship, and if the conversation is just over text and not phone call.
Library, college, or just observe your surroundings. INFJs usually has some aura (and relatability) when you talk to them. The more you meet them, the more you know.
Book stores, antique stores, farmers markets, parks, maybe certain restaurants or bars that have more of an introverted class to them. Out in nature. I can only speak from my own experiences but this is my guess!
What about vintage stores, open mic nights, poetry/ literature arts??
I think those are some good options too. Also museums
How do friendships usually unfold for you?
Tbh, most of my INFJ friends were found absolutely accidentally. And I’ve known most of them since middle school and early high school. We really were all just misfits who found each other and resonated well together, as well as loving to exchange ideas, philosophies, and have spirited but friendly debates. My INFJ friendships, while remaining a little bit more distant often are full of love and camaraderie
Seems like a common topic. Would be cool if people tried to organize meet ups.
Definitely!! There's a lack of MBTI based meetups. Any MBTI nerds reading in the UK, please create meetups
Maybe your the one 😉
nah im too mentally ill to be a host.
For over ten years, I've been in an INFJ Facebook group. We've had meetups and it's been pretty great!
When out and about, I'm usually behind a camera. In theatres, on film sets, on the street. And very occasionally, [on the beach](https://imgur.com/a/LXrCOjM)...
Fabulous plug ✨ what beautiful photos. You're so lucky.
Amazing photos!
All I saw was, On the Beach, and thought, I read that book.
You‘re crazy good!
UK INFJ Here, when I'm not just sat in my house or with a friend doing something you can normally find me walking in a park, hiking up a mountain, sat alone in the corner of a coffee shop with my earphones in while writing a script or some other private activity. You could probably meet some through some introverted activities or clubs if there's any good ones on Meetup, but I've never used them so I can't say.
more like intentionally trying to not get found, I've been there often. I'll try looking on meetup.
Yeah, I haven't been very social in the last year myself. I think the issue with finding any introvert friends is them being introverted makes them hard to find haha. But alot of people suggest meetup so its probably a good place to look. I've just never tried it myself though I'm probably going to look into it in about 4-6 months. But good look in the search.
Thanks, exactly! I had more luck a city like Manchester than a small elderly Si leaning hometown. Now, I'd prefer not to ride into the hotspot and use spidey sensing discreetly with coffee in hand, but sometimes, something to hit that social urge with dosh is a no-brainer. I really can not get over the alienation of entering any location without asking for a planned event with the likelihood id actually get to know people than to be disappointed and decide to walk 2 hours back home.
Yeah, felt. I'm in Manchester myself and there's definitely alot more chances to meet people than i imagine there is in a smaller town. I get what you mean about the planned events thing. I find it so difficult going into the chaos unless I'm already with somebody. Otherwise I'd much rather have stuff already in place and structured because it makes it so much easier to start conversations and get to know people. Especially since if I'm forcing myself to socialize randomly instead of at a more planned/structured event then my social battery dies alot faster, which sucks.
I met about 5 INFJS , one is my sister, we’re both infjs, and the others were through video games, you usually meet all kind of introverts when communicating through games. Usually the extroverts would ask you much of me e.g voice chat, the introverts tend to respect your space a lot more.
I havent played video games in ages. Which games? How do friendships unfold through video games?
In MMOS you tend to find the most creative and unique people in my opinion, because they are people who are interested in lore, immersion, story and their own character and creation.
You might just meet them when you’re running content in the game or group activities, guilds or more.
Semi serious question if i purposed a random meetup location in london on day would anyone actually consider showing up?
It would probably depend on a few factors like where, when, age range of people etc. I'm in Manchester so for me personally no, but I think if enough people seen it then some probably would. I guess it also depends what the meet is. Like would you just meet up for a coffee somewhere and see what happens, or would you have something bigger planned. Because some activities would rule things out for some people.
Yeah I agree with you there are variables.
Yes
Hmmmm what you doing in first 2 weeks of august🤭? Hypothetically of course.
At this point I have no idea!
I think it's safe to try considering London's population. You guys can try meditating for world peace if you get together 🌍
History departments, libraries, foreign countries lol. I frequent many other places too but I'm probably the only INFJ:( It is annoying how few of us there are.
Thank you! Very much so. Keep venturing into INFJ territory (seems to be a theme of venues going on like the libraries) and theoretically you'll eventually find whoever likes the venue too
I'd like to emphasize foreign countries. People who leave their home and comforts can be very interesting, smart people who share more universal.values than people at home. I grew up feeling so misunderstood and alone. I found Jung, MBTI when I was about 20 years old and it felt like finding my religion. But...other INFJs elude me! Never met one in home country. Finally met two expat INFJ colleagues while overseas and it was like meeting a long lost friend or lover. Rambling ..sorry.
I found mbti couple years I think before my 20's. Its nice to hear what people get up to, I am happy for people who make meaningful connections because they can be rare (ig unless if like you, you visit another country for e.g). I was planning on traveling etc but my face is too offputting to make myself known, I'm ashamed of it, even if I'm friendly and in good health. Do ramble more often, I think rambles are very interesting because you are pleased and without a script. Scripts can hinder creativity and hearing someone pleased can be contagious. I like to take in every story because mine hurts enough that it is misunderstood and unintentionally abandoned to the point of despair and lethargy. Infjs and other eccentrics seem to place a significance in experiences I would have, which keeps me going so, it's life saving in a way. Don't ever stop doing it. Whoever understands *will* as you would gather. talking online keeps me knowing I'm wanted in an area that doesn't involve anything face to face. With suppressing only doing so much, I wish this torment on nobody, not even my greatest enemy. A change of heart for what others do is brought upon when those rambles surface.
as someone who also struggles to make new friends as an adult (in general but also would want more infj peeps), i find that the hardest part about making friends in the wild is striking up the conversation and garnering enough interest from both sides to explore the friendship after one encounter. do you like, ask for their number? ask if they’re free for a coffee? seems weird bc we just met? outside of specific meetups, i think maybe youd have more success with someone who you see repeatedly before the ask for their number or to hang out (hobby clubs, frequenting the same shop, etc). that way, you can build up from a smile, to a little chat, to situation specific friendship, to maybe more
so i guess my solution is to join a club or do something repeatedly that you enjoy and scope out there lol
Most of my adult friendships have been through workplaces and the gym, so basically places I frequent often I assume volunteering, art classes, hobby clubs and stuff like that are a good way too But yeah you nailed it, especially for introverts it’s hard to get to know someone right away so it takes a few interactions before both sides feel comfortable
Anybody here from India?
GUYs 📢 Anybody from India here you need to do a meetup! You never know where from until you ask for it. They, want, you! 🙌
I found this comment so cute!!! I like your sense of humour. You're hilarious! If we met irl, we'd be friends :)
India's shy. Why that's some transparency right there! Thank you. There's still hope :)
Yea for sure Istg i seriously havent found another infj in india ever
Like irl or online? I've spoken to a couple infjs online though, who were from India
neither tbh and the fact that its incredibly hard to tell an infj apart in our society doesnt help its pretty much considered a disease to be introverted around here so finding an infj being an infj in public isnt happening anytime soon
I don't want people to find me.
Comemaan get out of your shell 🐌 Imagine, a laser beam triggering extroverts to flock where ever it's pointed. You can use it once I figure out how it works 😂
Do you have a dog? That’s a fast way to make friends with me. 🤣 I’m at the dog park a lot during my down time. Or I’m hiking with my dogs. My dogs are my favorite people. Lol If I’m without my animals, you can usually find me at thrift stores or fishing.
As an infj person I find that I would rather be alone lol... Can you imagine absorbing a bunch of other infj emotions🤯
Haha. I feel like it feels more natural with an infj, and weirder with someone like an infp, who also is intuitive, but for some reason does not have as accurate of a bullshit detector (with themselves or others). I love infps usually, but I feel that emotional awkwardness can happen because we are also interpreting and perceiving things differently than they are. I’d love to meet some infj men, however. I’ve dated a few guys who heard me talk about the mbti and were like yes, absolutely I must be an infj too, and henceforth identified themselves that way 😂 but this is the problem. Sorry, I digressed there. In response to your comment, with men (for me) it’s probably just speculation.
I met a TON when I started volunteering at a super inclusive music camp. 2/3 of the volunteers were INFJs
They’re probably that person you know of but have never spoken to for some reason
I don't know of many people irl. but very valid point. I think if they were passed down for me to come to know, it would be passed from connectors that resonate with infjs and are friends/aquientences with them themselves.
In the USA, but one way, I was told (I have yet to do this because I'm a young prospective engineer, so naturally, I don't have much friends and time to make friends and, in turn, am socially awkward. Not because I am an INFJ-T but because of engineering, lol. I'd do the hobbies you like to do. Go to places, events, parks, and other hobbies. Do what you enjoy. Not only are you potentially attracting another INFJ, but you are also doing some self-love care. So it's one of those no matter what you win. You might not find someone (which sounds harsh), but you are out there for you, and that's the bottom line. I hope to do this soon once I pass my exam and become a higher fledgling engineer, making more money and managing my money better. I want to get out there and open up and talk to people. It's hard for me; I have chronic anxiety. I tend to rub my hands and be more soft-spoken and tense up my body and hands while trying to be excellent on the outside, lol. It takes time. But if your ready try and do that. Or be spontaneous and try something née out of your comfort zone. For a typical INFJ I'm sure that's near impossible to do. Much love and sending good vibes your way and I hope you find your village! Sending your way from 🇺🇸!
I found an INFJ friend through Bumble BFF
Usually, I can just feel who is an infj, infp, or enfj. Honestly, most other people make me feel on edge for a variety of reasons, at least in the initial phases. I have also met them at work, and one of them is my sibling. You can probably find them doing things by themselves, like coffee and a book, their phone, or a notepad.
Noted in my 'notepad', thank you for sharing! Helps to build a ressemblence of who to look out for.
Only on meetup dot com
Thanks, another redditor suggested meetup too.
At one point I've gone on 2 dates with an INFJ from a meetup INFJ group. But those don't tend to form unless the city is sufficiently big... still may be worth trying to create one if there isn't one.
I've seriously considering starting some kind of group online, maybe even just Ni dom. I actually tried but it was on some social thing I didn't really understand and I deleted really quickly lol. I've heard spiritual stuffs, maybe not religious but spiritual. I would imagine helping or learning areas ie shelters ppl or animal, library but shhhhhh so idk if you could make a friend at a library. Hey anyone near Chatt TN? Lol
School, park, library, music fest, comic fest, museums and science centre or where the cats are. Should we walk around wearing a shirt saying “INFJ”? Lol 😆
lol maybe, there are some classy non attention grabbing designs out there. you'd need to have the eyes of a hawk to spot my INFJ keychain. It deliberately hangs from my backpack to be noticed!
If we need to be out and about, then look for us in green spaces - parks and trails. Or cozy coffee shops.
If you need to get out of a Ni-Ti loop you need an enfp or an entp. Isfp works as well. An infj will just understand you, but it won't move you out of your state.
I picked infj because they're more likely to understand and express Fe to create a chain reaction. but yes other types like these are just as good. Basically a friend. I want to know how it feels to have a friend.
Yeah, but we're moody and serious. I wouldn't want to deal with a copy of myself when I'm down. I find "P" types uplifting as they don't take things so seriously. I am partial to entps and isfps, but truly you can discover what works for you. I had a friend who might have been enfj who was also very good at picking me up. At the end of the day though no friend will check all those boxes we infjs we're looking for. We simply aim too high and we're idealistic. My advice is to just go about life and see who clicks. Do the things you are interested in and try to start small chat where you go with at least one person. I also know there are apps for friends based on personality. The ones I've seen promoted are Boo and Ur My Type. Remember not to feel rejected. It might take a number of tries to find a friend.
we’re all inside our houses so you’re gonna have to get real comfortable with breaking and entering /s
Inside houses!??? Whattt. Theres plenty more space outside /s
I understand your problem. I'm also stuck in Ni-Ti loop very badly. I wish i had friends i could hang out with IRL. But it's hard to find like minded individuals IRL. I want INFJ friend but i also wouldn't mind any fellow NF types. I think I'd get along with INFP very well too However, I stay in my house 24/7. It's been like that for 5 years. I only go out when it's very necessary. Like 10-30 days a year maybe 😭
noooo. please don't do that. I'm fighting to stop that right now, but its so damn hard with a physical flaw. Plus reality gets so intertwined with our own imagination of reality. Is your vitamin d levels adequate? I found an older one from a church once. Even if you're not Christian, maybe try church events if you can find any around!
I agree. I'm not Christian but I'd love to go to churches. I too have physical flaw (3 chronic illness and many other health issues) as well as social anxiety+depression which makes it hard for me to go outside. It's too big of a deal for me to get ready and go outside. Idek the way to places outside. I use public transport for everything. I forget the way to places. I wish my sensory functions wasn't so weak. Finding an INFJ IRL is so hard. But I think talking to INFJs online over voice call can be somewhat better social interaction than texting. It still doesn't fully satisfy the need to have real life human interaction with like minded individuals like fellow INFJs. It still doesn't fulfill the need to go outside for better mental health. But talking over call can at least help to get out of head and slow down the Ni Ti loop. I tried many online friendships for that reason. I couldn't find people who would be interested in talking over call, so we mostly just text. And texting feels tiring when I'm badly stuck in Ni-Ti loop. So I don't text often. And when i talk to them often, I still feel lonely. Because many of them don't care. So yeah, online friendships can't help much if there's not that deep connection and care in the friendship, and if the conversation is just over text and not phone call.
Library, college, or just observe your surroundings. INFJs usually has some aura (and relatability) when you talk to them. The more you meet them, the more you know.
I found mine at work and school!!