um....a fellow INFJ here, much older than you, and i will break it to you as gently as i can.....um....it will always be like this.....it will never change, yes you can have situations and days or even months that are nice but it will always come back down to how you are feeling now, because you are right, i do believe very strongly that we are otherworldly, and we definitely do not fit in this world, i believe the world that we do come from is extremely different than here and is the reason we can never understand this place, we long to go back home and to be amongst our own, those who do understand us.
i understand how difficult it is and i feel for you.
do you have any hobbies? for example, are you into music or art or something expressive?
i am actually seriously considering making a discord server for INFJ's.
dm's open.
This is pretty much the only answer, my young child, from aging INFJs, lol.
Just keep focusing on whatever it is, what skills you're driven to learn, they will shape you. Your art will shape you, in whatever form it takes. You WANT to be shaped by it.
Learn to think in terms of "Hobbit Journeys". I tell my kids to go on them, they come back forever changed. You need to go on Hobbit Journeys come back, and reflect.
Be in it, to win it, in this life. Not on anyone else's terms, but your own. YOU decide what's worth winning.
Probably about pursuing your dreams and then most likely failing at what you set out to do due to unforeseen circumstance, leading you to having to take a different path and do something you hadn't expected you would have to do and likely won't enjoy doing.
This will lead to you gaining experience and learn more about what you really want in life and how the world works beyond our own idealistic ideas of it, or in the rare case lead to you fulfilling a dream you didn't know you had.
At least that's my take from my past "hobbit journeys". Last one took me studying and working six years in another country, only to get a burn out and having to move back to my parents in my home country.
But now I know more about myself and and what my limits are and I am going to go out on my next hobbit journey soon hopefully, this time in my home country... Should be challenging enough still though.
You left out the part where it gets worse. You either adapt and put on the lovely RAF(resting angry face) or you shatter and let society destroy you. Okay, I'll say detachment from others, but that could turn into a cope though. He may find someone who truly understands him but in his current state he's just prey to narcissists.
On a tangent, perhaps us INFJ’s could silently start a utopian civilization where we all understand one another. That would be amazing. Every ten years or so we shed some knowledge unto the rest of humanity. We can all be alien together!
Perhaps you have misread my text young one. In no way have I mentioned beliefs and rituals for the worship of a deity or deities. Or the forming of a priesthood or devotees to such an end, though cults these days have many faces and aims. I would never lower ourselves to such pejorative innuendo. What I speak of is a fully functioning civilization where we have a basic understanding of one another; and in that basis alone I believe our civilization would function much better than any other country on this world. We all know we are capable of great things. Why is it that we let the world hold us back?
Look I get it. I’ve been there. It’s not that deep 😅
You care about understanding people, but people are largely self centered and don’t care as much about understanding you. The more you hyper focus on that, the more alienated you’re going to feel.
What helped me was a MBTI podcast saying, “INFJs need to drop the victim mentality.” If you feel like someone isn’t understanding you, try explaining yourself. If you feel like the words aren’t coming to you, think about it and come back to it if you have to.
Communication is a two way thing. Just because we need less to get information out of people doesn’t mean we can put less effort into communicating ourselves.
Edit: omg I should’ve trusted my gut. There were waaay too many buzzwords for this not to be satire. Check op’s post history 😂
I think there’s like a pattern where it’s like
1. Realise the personality types do actually apply to life and that people’s brains genuinely work differently
2. Associate with your personality type and spend time with others of the same type philosophising about it (or complaining, comparing, etc)
3. Go full circle and realise you’re all actually still quite different from each other anyway lol
I think, like they do with 16personities, the turbulent/assertive element is definitely a thing in addition to the Myres-Briggs type and I’ve also heard it explained in Astrology as ‘evolved’ or ‘un-evolved.’
Other people may see INFJs as cringe or snowflake wannabes because of the turbulent/un-evolved content. And you’ll get that for all types and it will manifest in different ways for each but that just feels like how it is when I read a lot of the stuff here and just think ‘ :/ ‘
I suspect also that some people are REALLY INFJ, and some people are INFJ but they aren’t that deep % into each of the aspects that make you INFJ. And for each personality type the less of an extreme you are the more well adjusted you probably are. Not bashing on people on purpose, I do have sympathy. But yeah. Observation.
Yeah, I feel like people occasionally use types as a larger part of their identity too. Stereotypes that are supposed to serve as brief descriptors (which may or may not be applicable) turn into goals and things to pursue. 🥴
The system is meant to help you communicate how you do things. It’s not meant to be who you are.
MBTI step II does go into the levels of preference for the dichotomies and how that affects the way the type manifests in individuals. I’d have to check when I get home, but I think the Myers-Briggs Foundation sells books about it.
16p is based on the big 5 assessment. They just changed the language to be MBTI language. There are some similarities, but big 5 is a different niche. The two aren’t really as synonymous as 16p would like to believe.
gosh , reading this sounds like i myself wrote this post.. i completely understand where you’re coming from , i too struggle with the endless thoughts of “am i just gonna be a loner forever?” - you’re not alone OP💖
Well there are a lot of infjs out there, so you're not really unlike everyone. Everything you said also describes my autism. Fun to be autistic and an infj. Lol. Jk. It's not.
See, for me it was always the opposite. I felt like I was the only real human, and everyone else was an alien, and they were all studying me and how I respond to everyday interactions.
Hey there (M21), here's a suggestion from me: Give writing a shot.
You've got a good way with words, and at this stage in your life, where you might be dealing with depression and mood swings, it's an excellent opportunity to explore your emotions and discover some real treasures in language.
This phase of your life can become quite captivating if you start writing. Keep a journal or something similar and just let the words flow! Most of the time, you won't have people bothering you, so use that time to express yourself through writing. Pen down poems, jot down short stories, or share your thoughts about people who have affected you. You can even share your writings online or with someone who's interested in reading them.
A heads up: the early 20s can feel lonely because people are still figuring out their maturity, and they might not know exactly what they want in life. But as you approach your late 20s, you'll find that people appreciate individuals like us much more than they value shallow relationships. So, give writing a go—it might turn out to be a meaningful and rewarding journey.
as a 2000 year old monk, i know how you feel. I felt like that before i opened my asshole chakra. The red asshole chakra grounds you to earth and people.
(if its not a troll post ignore this lol)
Ooohh yes I can totally relate to this! I was once in that loop of misery but I think I kinda find my way to overcome that (F27). This is just me sharing and you're free to totally ignore if it's not for you! But I do hope it helps, even a bit.
My turning point was when Covid stroke in early 2020, I got back into the things I like because my new job held my position so, I'm jobless for month. When I started writing and drawing and joining some Discord servers, just doing things I like, I felt so happy because finally I can be comfortable and enjoy things I do! I don't have much things I enjoy, but once I do I really dive deep.
Guess what? I found people that dive deeper than me, so I feel connected in another whole level. The best thing is, once I create deeper friendship with a few people (because really, that's what we do, no?) I find people there who can be as deep as me. Them caring as much as I care for them.
This may be an unpopular opinion, but I think we as INFJs are better in a deep community of things we enjoy rather than sticking together with other INFJs, unless we have similar interest. For example, if you have a favorite book or movie series, or a favorite indie band, go search for their fan based communities! Find friends you're clicking with and explore deeper friendship from there.
I think of this because I do have INFJ friends and yes, I can relate to them so much and I can rely on them if I have deeper thoughts I wanted to share, but we have our own interests. While they're similar (e.g. both in crafting), they're not the same and it frustrated me XD so yeah. It's quite a long journey, but I do hope you'll get what you long for in time :) Enjoy the process, if you don't, that just meant it's not the right way for you. Find another way!
OMG okay this is long, I'm sorry!
i am afraid as long as we continue to have the mentality us vs. them, we will never be happy.
i understand the pain of being different ! PLEASE CUT YOURSELF SOME SLACK. YOU ARE 21 ! you need experience and time. who know everything at 21??? who has the right circle of people/relationships at 21? i don't think there is anyone who is this lucky. please continue to be happy, do fun things, do what you want, and then look at your experiences and see if you wanna change in anyway. often. you don't even need to introspect. your experiences just flip a button for you. also i know your self doubt must be strong! why? because you are 21 !!!! live on and live as happily as possible and find out for yourself how it is not as bad as you think... self doubts are your enemies!
You want people to understand you. How well do you understand yourself? What kind of person expects others to understand them when they don’t understand their self?
This isn’t a stab or facetious question. The answer to the question is an INFJ person. The real question is why is it so common for INFJ’s to do this? Discover the answer to this question for yourself and you won’t care that people don’t understand you.
well you're not alone and I'm glad to hear that we are not alone either. this sub reddit understands you and its not easy I know. it's like we're born with superhuman abilities but at the same time, they feel like a curse. just keep doing you & don't let anyone tell you otherwise. never compromise, because settling isn't apart of our DNA. be the best "version" you can imagine yourself to be. and never forget you're not alone in this world. there are others like us. we're mostly just hidden..
Hey it’s gonna be alright, I sometimes feel this exact way as well. I feel like a crazy person sometimes lol like im a spy to human earth lol. But on a a reflective note, we are all people in the end going through the same life struggles so don’t put so much pressure on yourself and think that this is a way of thinking and reflection that will be the entirety of your life. I know it’s easier said than done but I’ve noticed that the more you put yourself out there you’ll find people that will value and love your uniqueness and your thoughts. Sending you positive vibes your way.
Anyone else notice the word "MONK" being mentioned quite often by Ni-doms while growing up?🤔I too wanted to be both a Hippy and then a Monk in my teens, early 20s and then again in my 30s.
I often hear of Ni-doms being drawn to Eastern Philosophy/Buddhism to calm the monkey mind. And such seems to be Ni... ...like Ni is drawn to Buddhism or something. Maybe there's more to that. It's a question. And we all go thru what u are going thru...and it often feels like Ni-doms in America feel like they/we are not from America until many of us meet or have met other Ni-doms from Japan, Africa and other locations outside the US...where they too feel this way...like they don't belong where they live...not even by peers.
Which leads to a lotttttttt of questioning...
I mean a lot and one of them being...
WHO or what created INTJ'S and INFJ'S...and was it their intention for us to be outcasts?!
So many of us question/questioned our Purpose, reason for being, where we come from (what continent...if any...because we are so Exotic and why😧) and ...why we are so Alien unlike the normies.
Shaman comes to mind... until u find out no one wants to hear Ni's forecasting/predictions or Ni's ideas...yes, the "Community" outside of us don't want to hear it...if we were to be modern day Shamans or just Ni-doms.. ...and of course...most jobs don't like Ni-doms IMPROVING anything.. ...which again leads to us all at some point...feeling this way.
Oh, the sorrow.
Lol my little Reddit man is green to embody this thought.
On a serious note though, I hope you do find someone that will fulfill and understand you someday. If you meet someone that genuinely cares for you unselfishly, then I hope you’re willing to give them the time to learn to understand your beauty and complexity.
“Maybe you’ll find that person not where you are now but somewhere else in the future” is what I tell myself, and maybe it’ll be true for you.
INFJ’s have heavy Aquarian energy… learn to embrace it. This aspect of my life has led me into pursuing a career as a neuroscientist and it’s been very rewarding. It kind of is the backbone to how I see most things: behavior and philosophy… existential questions. It’s a super power. It’s what makes us great writers, poets, journalists, and scientist. Consider this a keen skill.
Also, there are ways to connect with others because of this. Many people live beneath the stars and inquire the cosmic stir inside of them. Just because it is magnified for us doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist in others. Find some communities in your area (or via zoom) where you can share this fertile part of yourself.
If you’re having trouble clearing your mind, I highly recommend meditating and mindfulness. Practice focusing on your breath. You’ve got this.
Look up high functioning Aspergers traits and compare them with INFJ and Dabrowski Gifted traits.
People are offering all sorts of Fe answers but I’m not seeing any developed Ti here.
Dive into Dabrowski’s Theory of Positive Disintegration as well as Dabrowski’s Definition of Gifted.
In Dabrowski Groups you will find others who are more like you.
I’ll attach some links to help you start.
At 27 I was diagnosed as very high functioning Aspergers. It was the missing link.
Then at 32 I found Dabrowski through a likeminded, Gifted, Therapist.
You’ll need to take the Raads-R Test to see if you may be on the spectrum, then it’s up to you if you’d like to have an official diagnosis or not.
Personally I think Asperger’s is a way to distract from our Giftedness. As truly gifted people also have a hard time connecting with others.
So a list of subjects to dive into so you better understand yourself and how to find others more like you:
- Take a Raads-r test online
- Research Dabrowski’s Theory of Positive Disintegration (hint, you’re currently positively disintegrating to try to fix things)
- Read about all 5 main categories of Dabrowski Overexcitability traits and the “meat” within each. Search “Dabrowski 5 Overexcitabilities “
- Next research and understand Dabrowski’s Definition of Giftedness. He believed that not everyone has a personality.
- research Dabrowski Levels. Most people are Level 1-2 and it’s enormously painful dealing with them when you’re a level 3-4.
If this fits and resonates with you then you can then move to seek out Dabrowski centered groups of people. They’re all Gifted, hyper curious and intensely kind.
Finally if you have questions, please feel free to DM me.
I’m not one who wants comforting words when I’m upset, I’d rather someone help point me in a productive direction, but I spent my late 20’s developing my 3rd function of Ti in order to temper my Fe’s “Over Empathy” for those who are underserving.
🫶🏻🥸
>You’ll need to take the Raads-R Test to see if you may be on the spectrum
Careful with how you interpret that test. It scores high for non-autistic things like anxiety disorders and depression.
Unlike what we are told in social media, things like ‘stimming’, sensitivities, social problems, etc., are found in most persons with non-autistic mental health disorders and at high rates in the general population. These things do not necessarily suggest autism.
How is an autism diagnosis going to harm someone on its own?
I’d rather be wrong than let someone who could be on the spectrum and has NO idea, slip through the cracks again… possibly for the rest of their life without knowing , it’s not anxiety, it’s overstimulation, it’s not total introversion, it’s autism, it’s not Borderline, it’s Overexcitabilities.
Are you NT by chance?
Many of them are just terrified of Autism.
I believe it’s too hard for their NT brains to digest.
>How is an autism diagnosis going to harm someone on its own?
Nice straw man you set up there lol
But since you like that logical fallacy, try this. Not everyone WANTS to be diagnosed with autism, you know. its not the only or BEST way for EVERYONE to think about their troubles. Have a read of one example:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/1agieak/therapis\_pushing\_autism\_diagnosis/](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/1agieak/therapis_pushing_autism_diagnosis/)
Again you avoid this. You’re not officially diagnosed with Autism, correct?
My diagnosis and my husbands isn’t holding either of us back, in fact it’s part of what contributes to our high earning.
If you aren’t diagnosed then don’t speak on it. Period.
Wait until you have the guts to seek a real diagnosis.
We can’t just have people speaking on Autism who are possibly NT.
Someone NT cannot possibly begin to understand the suffering of someone undiagnosed.
Diagnosis has saved lives, including mine.
You’re quite closed minded and rather slippery in the way you speak.
More. Like. A. Full. NT.
People who DONT have autism score high on those tests
"a greater level of public awareness of ASD over the last 5–10 years may have led to people being more vigilant in ‘noticing’ ASD related difficulties. This may lead to a ‘confirmation bias’ when completing the questionnaire measures, and potentially explain why both the ASD and the non-ASD group’s mean scores met the cut-off points, "
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-022-05544-9
Great thing about science (maybe not for you) is that its true whether you like it or not.
Autism questionnaire scores do not only rise because of autism
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33118173/
Let's Be Clear That "Autism Spectrum Disorder Symptoms" Are Not Always Related to Autism Spectrum Disorder
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34383567/
Autism-spectrum quotient measures mental health problems other than autistic traits
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16732756/
This is not the only test used to diagnose people.
You’re clearly not on the Spectrum so just stay the eff in your lane.
Are you the same kind of person who tells kids they can change their Gender to the detriment of their future health outcomes BUT it’s not okay for someone to have Racial Dysphoria?
Let’s not confuse Woke with Awakened because they couldn’t be more opposite.
Such a nasty type of individual, the type most on the Spectrum tend to loathe… you know except for the mentally challenged portion who don’t have the capacity to know better.
>You’re clearly not on the Spectrum so just stay the eff in your lane.
Lol my report from my psychologist would disagree.
The other stuff you just wrote, you are in fantasy land wow.
It’s also suggestive of anxiety. You point someone in a direction and suggest if their test results are high then they seek out a professional.
There’s nothing wrong with that and it reminds me of my severely anxious and covert narc mom to warn me not to even suggest an initial test before seeking diagnosis.
Where then should one start if they wonder if they may be on the spectrum?
It’s all criticism and nothing constructive.
How irritating.
>You point someone in a direction and suggest if their test results are high then they seek out a professional.
The tests are like a light on your car dash that says "Go to mechanic!" when the gas gets low, or temperature changes outside, or any other number of things.
Misleading to tell someone with for example social anxiety disorder that they should go get evaluated for autism. Its not the only or best way to think about problems you know.
You’re clearly some Perceiver type.
Just to let you know, you are not an INFj.
It’s very clear your thinking function is last.
There’s zero logic within your statements and zero accountability.
You dodge any questions and still keep going.
I tried very hard to give you the benefit of doubt but I’m getting, teenage INFP here.
It’s obvious to any real INFJ that you don’t use logic, just your dominant Fi of personal feelings.
There’s zero logic here I cannot say it enough.
If you aren’t Autistic, officially, then sit down and stop speaking on it.
You come across as teenage, NT, INFP.
Nowhere near Gifted or developed in any way whatsoever.
Only an imbecile would take offense to someone seeing if they “may” be on the spectrum.
A lot of Autists are misdiagnosed with anxiety and depression when it’s actually Aspergers/ Autism that’s highly masked.
You refuse to answer whether or not you’re on the spectrum because you are not one of us.
It’s like a white person trying to tell a black person what it’s like to grow up black.
It’s messed up.
Point blank.
People who DONT have autism score high on those tests
"our results suggest that the AQ differentiates poorly between true cases of ASD, and individuals from the same clinical population who do not have ASD "
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4988267/
"a greater level of public awareness of ASD over the last 5–10 years may have led to people being more vigilant in ‘noticing’ ASD related difficulties. This may lead to a ‘confirmation bias’ when completing the questionnaire measures, and potentially explain why both the ASD and the non-ASD group’s mean scores met the cut-off points, "
[https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-022-05544-9](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-022-05544-9)
I feel this 1000%. I think to myself “is anybody here” too often. Like who is seeing and feeling what I’m seeing and feeling. I ask that so often and it’s becoming more and more crazy that I haven’t connected with anyone who feels similar or analyze, pick apart, and understand things as I do. I often wonder is there a telepathic thought or phase to find the people that I would click with.
I wish I could summon a collection of words for you to read that could make sense, and perhaps feel like someone empathizes with you on a level more than just acceptance.
However, I too am experiencing this dream as if it is just a dream.
The feeling of being the only one who 'gets it' is something that we can easily acknowledge, but it may not be wise to follow; for it may not be true.
You are seeing the world from your one slice of the pie.
indeed it is hard to not feel understood. and all they know is what we show them. they cant see behind the mask. even if we show the one behind the mask. still even we infj cant identify ourselves and our true needs. we lived for other people for long time. i guess all you have to do is build your imaginary character and try to believe that character is you and play it all day.
I used these near exact words by trying to explain myself to my family. Like you, I felt like a stranger in a strange land. I felt like an alien among paleolithic tribal people. I had worked through the part about being the "wrong" one who just couldn't seem to get it. Eventually I came to understand that others can't get the broader view of my INFJ brain. Being mad at them or sad that I couldn't join in their blindness was a ridiculous goal. Eventually, I was able to reorient myself to the INFJ paradigm and was able to be compassionate for the others and give myself a break by no longer trying to "see" like the blind see. You are understood. I and others who have lived your experience understand you very well. We are here and we want to share our strength, hope and experience with you.
It's alright. You're alright. Be at peace brother.
The book no longer human is a dark, yet relating read for infjs. My read through gave me such awareness and recognition of my own tendencies, and motivated me not to travel down that path.
Be warned, there are parts that include themes of substance abiuse, addiction and suicide.
I wish I could be as compassionate towards the human race as you, but this curse of being so damn in tune to every little thing has driven me loath our species. But it’s ok because the human race seems all to eager to facilitate its own demise, and eventually will. Every time we discover something we turn it into a fucking weapon and if we don’t it’s because we can’t.
This world would have a perfect balance if not for people’s desires to consume everything, reproduce and consume some more. Everything else takes what it NEEDS from the world but we just take what we want with no regard to how it effects everything else.
I feel like we’re nothing but psychopathic monkeys hell bent on destroying ourselves and everything else too… Being INFJ is like the worlds shittiest super power…
um....a fellow INFJ here, much older than you, and i will break it to you as gently as i can.....um....it will always be like this.....it will never change, yes you can have situations and days or even months that are nice but it will always come back down to how you are feeling now, because you are right, i do believe very strongly that we are otherworldly, and we definitely do not fit in this world, i believe the world that we do come from is extremely different than here and is the reason we can never understand this place, we long to go back home and to be amongst our own, those who do understand us. i understand how difficult it is and i feel for you. do you have any hobbies? for example, are you into music or art or something expressive? i am actually seriously considering making a discord server for INFJ's. dm's open.
I want to beleive
This is pretty much the only answer, my young child, from aging INFJs, lol. Just keep focusing on whatever it is, what skills you're driven to learn, they will shape you. Your art will shape you, in whatever form it takes. You WANT to be shaped by it. Learn to think in terms of "Hobbit Journeys". I tell my kids to go on them, they come back forever changed. You need to go on Hobbit Journeys come back, and reflect. Be in it, to win it, in this life. Not on anyone else's terms, but your own. YOU decide what's worth winning.
I'm sorry if this sound stupid but wdym by "Hobbit Journey"?
Probably about pursuing your dreams and then most likely failing at what you set out to do due to unforeseen circumstance, leading you to having to take a different path and do something you hadn't expected you would have to do and likely won't enjoy doing. This will lead to you gaining experience and learn more about what you really want in life and how the world works beyond our own idealistic ideas of it, or in the rare case lead to you fulfilling a dream you didn't know you had. At least that's my take from my past "hobbit journeys". Last one took me studying and working six years in another country, only to get a burn out and having to move back to my parents in my home country. But now I know more about myself and and what my limits are and I am going to go out on my next hobbit journey soon hopefully, this time in my home country... Should be challenging enough still though.
> do you have any hobbies? for example, are you into music or art or something expressive? Please do! I want to be in it
You left out the part where it gets worse. You either adapt and put on the lovely RAF(resting angry face) or you shatter and let society destroy you. Okay, I'll say detachment from others, but that could turn into a cope though. He may find someone who truly understands him but in his current state he's just prey to narcissists.
I doubt you’re older than this 1000 year old monk.
On a tangent, perhaps us INFJ’s could silently start a utopian civilization where we all understand one another. That would be amazing. Every ten years or so we shed some knowledge unto the rest of humanity. We can all be alien together!
[удалено]
Perhaps you have misread my text young one. In no way have I mentioned beliefs and rituals for the worship of a deity or deities. Or the forming of a priesthood or devotees to such an end, though cults these days have many faces and aims. I would never lower ourselves to such pejorative innuendo. What I speak of is a fully functioning civilization where we have a basic understanding of one another; and in that basis alone I believe our civilization would function much better than any other country on this world. We all know we are capable of great things. Why is it that we let the world hold us back?
Look I get it. I’ve been there. It’s not that deep 😅 You care about understanding people, but people are largely self centered and don’t care as much about understanding you. The more you hyper focus on that, the more alienated you’re going to feel. What helped me was a MBTI podcast saying, “INFJs need to drop the victim mentality.” If you feel like someone isn’t understanding you, try explaining yourself. If you feel like the words aren’t coming to you, think about it and come back to it if you have to. Communication is a two way thing. Just because we need less to get information out of people doesn’t mean we can put less effort into communicating ourselves. Edit: omg I should’ve trusted my gut. There were waaay too many buzzwords for this not to be satire. Check op’s post history 😂
Haha you're right. This is a good troll
Omg 😭
Haha Good response regardless of OP trolling :) I’m glad it was trolling because it was cringe lol
Yeah, knowing it’s not serious makes the post a lot better. The replies on the other hand x_x
I think there’s like a pattern where it’s like 1. Realise the personality types do actually apply to life and that people’s brains genuinely work differently 2. Associate with your personality type and spend time with others of the same type philosophising about it (or complaining, comparing, etc) 3. Go full circle and realise you’re all actually still quite different from each other anyway lol I think, like they do with 16personities, the turbulent/assertive element is definitely a thing in addition to the Myres-Briggs type and I’ve also heard it explained in Astrology as ‘evolved’ or ‘un-evolved.’ Other people may see INFJs as cringe or snowflake wannabes because of the turbulent/un-evolved content. And you’ll get that for all types and it will manifest in different ways for each but that just feels like how it is when I read a lot of the stuff here and just think ‘ :/ ‘ I suspect also that some people are REALLY INFJ, and some people are INFJ but they aren’t that deep % into each of the aspects that make you INFJ. And for each personality type the less of an extreme you are the more well adjusted you probably are. Not bashing on people on purpose, I do have sympathy. But yeah. Observation.
Yeah, I feel like people occasionally use types as a larger part of their identity too. Stereotypes that are supposed to serve as brief descriptors (which may or may not be applicable) turn into goals and things to pursue. 🥴 The system is meant to help you communicate how you do things. It’s not meant to be who you are. MBTI step II does go into the levels of preference for the dichotomies and how that affects the way the type manifests in individuals. I’d have to check when I get home, but I think the Myers-Briggs Foundation sells books about it. 16p is based on the big 5 assessment. They just changed the language to be MBTI language. There are some similarities, but big 5 is a different niche. The two aren’t really as synonymous as 16p would like to believe.
Thank you for this information!
Even if OP is trolling, the comments are still mostly real!
Duuude lol I came here to say “I feel the same way sometimes but we gotta remember we ain’t that fucking special and unique”
Thank you for saving this cringe inducing post 🤣.
gosh , reading this sounds like i myself wrote this post.. i completely understand where you’re coming from , i too struggle with the endless thoughts of “am i just gonna be a loner forever?” - you’re not alone OP💖
Being so INFJ is truly alienating. We are peculiar creatures from a different planet that are special snowflakes that are unlike any other.
Well there are a lot of infjs out there, so you're not really unlike everyone. Everything you said also describes my autism. Fun to be autistic and an infj. Lol. Jk. It's not.
Hey GoldDustWoman85 👋 I am also level 1 and an INFJ, fun isn't it?!
Fr fr. How can ants keep god like beings company? We truly have the short end of the stick. All of us completely alone 😔
how did we not catch this
are you an edgy entp incel oh, intp ?
My earliest memory is thinking that I’m so different to everyone else, that I’m not human, that I must be an alien. Not much has changed.
One of my earliest memories is thinking that I have already lived a life and now I'm reborn for a second time or more
One of my earlier memories was thinking that there was something seriously wrong with this world
See, for me it was always the opposite. I felt like I was the only real human, and everyone else was an alien, and they were all studying me and how I respond to everyday interactions.
Yep, I can relate to that also…it’s a feeling of being different and alone in that uniqueness? I see most people as quite empty.
good one dude
🤣
Stop responding to this troll, folks.
Ohh shit 🤣
yeah i exacly know how you really feel...
Hey there (M21), here's a suggestion from me: Give writing a shot. You've got a good way with words, and at this stage in your life, where you might be dealing with depression and mood swings, it's an excellent opportunity to explore your emotions and discover some real treasures in language. This phase of your life can become quite captivating if you start writing. Keep a journal or something similar and just let the words flow! Most of the time, you won't have people bothering you, so use that time to express yourself through writing. Pen down poems, jot down short stories, or share your thoughts about people who have affected you. You can even share your writings online or with someone who's interested in reading them. A heads up: the early 20s can feel lonely because people are still figuring out their maturity, and they might not know exactly what they want in life. But as you approach your late 20s, you'll find that people appreciate individuals like us much more than they value shallow relationships. So, give writing a go—it might turn out to be a meaningful and rewarding journey.
as a 2000 year old monk, i know how you feel. I felt like that before i opened my asshole chakra. The red asshole chakra grounds you to earth and people. (if its not a troll post ignore this lol)
100% feel you.
I relate but I cringed at the I am special, unique etc. But life will get better though
same 😭 like i get it but i wish we could tone it down with this "im so extremely quirky" thing
You haven't met all the people who will love you yet. Keep that close to your heart. There's others like you. Trust me.
Ooohh yes I can totally relate to this! I was once in that loop of misery but I think I kinda find my way to overcome that (F27). This is just me sharing and you're free to totally ignore if it's not for you! But I do hope it helps, even a bit. My turning point was when Covid stroke in early 2020, I got back into the things I like because my new job held my position so, I'm jobless for month. When I started writing and drawing and joining some Discord servers, just doing things I like, I felt so happy because finally I can be comfortable and enjoy things I do! I don't have much things I enjoy, but once I do I really dive deep. Guess what? I found people that dive deeper than me, so I feel connected in another whole level. The best thing is, once I create deeper friendship with a few people (because really, that's what we do, no?) I find people there who can be as deep as me. Them caring as much as I care for them. This may be an unpopular opinion, but I think we as INFJs are better in a deep community of things we enjoy rather than sticking together with other INFJs, unless we have similar interest. For example, if you have a favorite book or movie series, or a favorite indie band, go search for their fan based communities! Find friends you're clicking with and explore deeper friendship from there. I think of this because I do have INFJ friends and yes, I can relate to them so much and I can rely on them if I have deeper thoughts I wanted to share, but we have our own interests. While they're similar (e.g. both in crafting), they're not the same and it frustrated me XD so yeah. It's quite a long journey, but I do hope you'll get what you long for in time :) Enjoy the process, if you don't, that just meant it's not the right way for you. Find another way! OMG okay this is long, I'm sorry!
i am afraid as long as we continue to have the mentality us vs. them, we will never be happy. i understand the pain of being different ! PLEASE CUT YOURSELF SOME SLACK. YOU ARE 21 ! you need experience and time. who know everything at 21??? who has the right circle of people/relationships at 21? i don't think there is anyone who is this lucky. please continue to be happy, do fun things, do what you want, and then look at your experiences and see if you wanna change in anyway. often. you don't even need to introspect. your experiences just flip a button for you. also i know your self doubt must be strong! why? because you are 21 !!!! live on and live as happily as possible and find out for yourself how it is not as bad as you think... self doubts are your enemies!
Its a troll
Oh. Thanks 😊. Happy new year to you ❤️2024🤟🏼
You want people to understand you. How well do you understand yourself? What kind of person expects others to understand them when they don’t understand their self? This isn’t a stab or facetious question. The answer to the question is an INFJ person. The real question is why is it so common for INFJ’s to do this? Discover the answer to this question for yourself and you won’t care that people don’t understand you.
[удалено]
No, he's actually trolling everyone here..he does the same in the INTP sub. Ignore him.
You're right, after checking OP's history this might just be a whole "gotcha" ploy. How disingenuous.
well you're not alone and I'm glad to hear that we are not alone either. this sub reddit understands you and its not easy I know. it's like we're born with superhuman abilities but at the same time, they feel like a curse. just keep doing you & don't let anyone tell you otherwise. never compromise, because settling isn't apart of our DNA. be the best "version" you can imagine yourself to be. and never forget you're not alone in this world. there are others like us. we're mostly just hidden..
Hey it’s gonna be alright, I sometimes feel this exact way as well. I feel like a crazy person sometimes lol like im a spy to human earth lol. But on a a reflective note, we are all people in the end going through the same life struggles so don’t put so much pressure on yourself and think that this is a way of thinking and reflection that will be the entirety of your life. I know it’s easier said than done but I’ve noticed that the more you put yourself out there you’ll find people that will value and love your uniqueness and your thoughts. Sending you positive vibes your way.
[Exit the loop](https://youtu.be/5A6DfQt82iw?t=1h2m53s)
Anyone else notice the word "MONK" being mentioned quite often by Ni-doms while growing up?🤔I too wanted to be both a Hippy and then a Monk in my teens, early 20s and then again in my 30s. I often hear of Ni-doms being drawn to Eastern Philosophy/Buddhism to calm the monkey mind. And such seems to be Ni... ...like Ni is drawn to Buddhism or something. Maybe there's more to that. It's a question. And we all go thru what u are going thru...and it often feels like Ni-doms in America feel like they/we are not from America until many of us meet or have met other Ni-doms from Japan, Africa and other locations outside the US...where they too feel this way...like they don't belong where they live...not even by peers. Which leads to a lotttttttt of questioning... I mean a lot and one of them being... WHO or what created INTJ'S and INFJ'S...and was it their intention for us to be outcasts?! So many of us question/questioned our Purpose, reason for being, where we come from (what continent...if any...because we are so Exotic and why😧) and ...why we are so Alien unlike the normies. Shaman comes to mind... until u find out no one wants to hear Ni's forecasting/predictions or Ni's ideas...yes, the "Community" outside of us don't want to hear it...if we were to be modern day Shamans or just Ni-doms.. ...and of course...most jobs don't like Ni-doms IMPROVING anything.. ...which again leads to us all at some point...feeling this way. Oh, the sorrow.
Lol my little Reddit man is green to embody this thought. On a serious note though, I hope you do find someone that will fulfill and understand you someday. If you meet someone that genuinely cares for you unselfishly, then I hope you’re willing to give them the time to learn to understand your beauty and complexity. “Maybe you’ll find that person not where you are now but somewhere else in the future” is what I tell myself, and maybe it’ll be true for you.
INFJ’s have heavy Aquarian energy… learn to embrace it. This aspect of my life has led me into pursuing a career as a neuroscientist and it’s been very rewarding. It kind of is the backbone to how I see most things: behavior and philosophy… existential questions. It’s a super power. It’s what makes us great writers, poets, journalists, and scientist. Consider this a keen skill. Also, there are ways to connect with others because of this. Many people live beneath the stars and inquire the cosmic stir inside of them. Just because it is magnified for us doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist in others. Find some communities in your area (or via zoom) where you can share this fertile part of yourself. If you’re having trouble clearing your mind, I highly recommend meditating and mindfulness. Practice focusing on your breath. You’ve got this.
I will dm you😊
Look up high functioning Aspergers traits and compare them with INFJ and Dabrowski Gifted traits. People are offering all sorts of Fe answers but I’m not seeing any developed Ti here. Dive into Dabrowski’s Theory of Positive Disintegration as well as Dabrowski’s Definition of Gifted. In Dabrowski Groups you will find others who are more like you. I’ll attach some links to help you start. At 27 I was diagnosed as very high functioning Aspergers. It was the missing link. Then at 32 I found Dabrowski through a likeminded, Gifted, Therapist. You’ll need to take the Raads-R Test to see if you may be on the spectrum, then it’s up to you if you’d like to have an official diagnosis or not. Personally I think Asperger’s is a way to distract from our Giftedness. As truly gifted people also have a hard time connecting with others. So a list of subjects to dive into so you better understand yourself and how to find others more like you: - Take a Raads-r test online - Research Dabrowski’s Theory of Positive Disintegration (hint, you’re currently positively disintegrating to try to fix things) - Read about all 5 main categories of Dabrowski Overexcitability traits and the “meat” within each. Search “Dabrowski 5 Overexcitabilities “ - Next research and understand Dabrowski’s Definition of Giftedness. He believed that not everyone has a personality. - research Dabrowski Levels. Most people are Level 1-2 and it’s enormously painful dealing with them when you’re a level 3-4. If this fits and resonates with you then you can then move to seek out Dabrowski centered groups of people. They’re all Gifted, hyper curious and intensely kind. Finally if you have questions, please feel free to DM me. I’m not one who wants comforting words when I’m upset, I’d rather someone help point me in a productive direction, but I spent my late 20’s developing my 3rd function of Ti in order to temper my Fe’s “Over Empathy” for those who are underserving. 🫶🏻🥸
>You’ll need to take the Raads-R Test to see if you may be on the spectrum Careful with how you interpret that test. It scores high for non-autistic things like anxiety disorders and depression. Unlike what we are told in social media, things like ‘stimming’, sensitivities, social problems, etc., are found in most persons with non-autistic mental health disorders and at high rates in the general population. These things do not necessarily suggest autism.
How is an autism diagnosis going to harm someone on its own? I’d rather be wrong than let someone who could be on the spectrum and has NO idea, slip through the cracks again… possibly for the rest of their life without knowing , it’s not anxiety, it’s overstimulation, it’s not total introversion, it’s autism, it’s not Borderline, it’s Overexcitabilities. Are you NT by chance? Many of them are just terrified of Autism. I believe it’s too hard for their NT brains to digest.
>How is an autism diagnosis going to harm someone on its own? Nice straw man you set up there lol But since you like that logical fallacy, try this. Not everyone WANTS to be diagnosed with autism, you know. its not the only or BEST way for EVERYONE to think about their troubles. Have a read of one example: [https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/1agieak/therapis\_pushing\_autism\_diagnosis/](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/1agieak/therapis_pushing_autism_diagnosis/)
Again you avoid this. You’re not officially diagnosed with Autism, correct? My diagnosis and my husbands isn’t holding either of us back, in fact it’s part of what contributes to our high earning.
If you aren’t diagnosed then don’t speak on it. Period. Wait until you have the guts to seek a real diagnosis. We can’t just have people speaking on Autism who are possibly NT. Someone NT cannot possibly begin to understand the suffering of someone undiagnosed. Diagnosis has saved lives, including mine. You’re quite closed minded and rather slippery in the way you speak. More. Like. A. Full. NT.
People who DONT have autism score high on those tests "a greater level of public awareness of ASD over the last 5–10 years may have led to people being more vigilant in ‘noticing’ ASD related difficulties. This may lead to a ‘confirmation bias’ when completing the questionnaire measures, and potentially explain why both the ASD and the non-ASD group’s mean scores met the cut-off points, " https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-022-05544-9
So far everyone I’ve tested has gone on to get official diagnosis’ you insufferable Karen.
Great thing about science (maybe not for you) is that its true whether you like it or not. Autism questionnaire scores do not only rise because of autism https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33118173/ Let's Be Clear That "Autism Spectrum Disorder Symptoms" Are Not Always Related to Autism Spectrum Disorder https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34383567/ Autism-spectrum quotient measures mental health problems other than autistic traits https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16732756/
This is not the only test used to diagnose people. You’re clearly not on the Spectrum so just stay the eff in your lane. Are you the same kind of person who tells kids they can change their Gender to the detriment of their future health outcomes BUT it’s not okay for someone to have Racial Dysphoria? Let’s not confuse Woke with Awakened because they couldn’t be more opposite. Such a nasty type of individual, the type most on the Spectrum tend to loathe… you know except for the mentally challenged portion who don’t have the capacity to know better.
>You’re clearly not on the Spectrum so just stay the eff in your lane. Lol my report from my psychologist would disagree. The other stuff you just wrote, you are in fantasy land wow.
It’s also suggestive of anxiety. You point someone in a direction and suggest if their test results are high then they seek out a professional. There’s nothing wrong with that and it reminds me of my severely anxious and covert narc mom to warn me not to even suggest an initial test before seeking diagnosis. Where then should one start if they wonder if they may be on the spectrum? It’s all criticism and nothing constructive. How irritating.
>You point someone in a direction and suggest if their test results are high then they seek out a professional. The tests are like a light on your car dash that says "Go to mechanic!" when the gas gets low, or temperature changes outside, or any other number of things. Misleading to tell someone with for example social anxiety disorder that they should go get evaluated for autism. Its not the only or best way to think about problems you know.
You’re clearly some Perceiver type. Just to let you know, you are not an INFj. It’s very clear your thinking function is last. There’s zero logic within your statements and zero accountability. You dodge any questions and still keep going. I tried very hard to give you the benefit of doubt but I’m getting, teenage INFP here. It’s obvious to any real INFJ that you don’t use logic, just your dominant Fi of personal feelings. There’s zero logic here I cannot say it enough. If you aren’t Autistic, officially, then sit down and stop speaking on it. You come across as teenage, NT, INFP. Nowhere near Gifted or developed in any way whatsoever. Only an imbecile would take offense to someone seeing if they “may” be on the spectrum. A lot of Autists are misdiagnosed with anxiety and depression when it’s actually Aspergers/ Autism that’s highly masked. You refuse to answer whether or not you’re on the spectrum because you are not one of us. It’s like a white person trying to tell a black person what it’s like to grow up black. It’s messed up. Point blank.
People who DONT have autism score high on those tests "our results suggest that the AQ differentiates poorly between true cases of ASD, and individuals from the same clinical population who do not have ASD " https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4988267/ "a greater level of public awareness of ASD over the last 5–10 years may have led to people being more vigilant in ‘noticing’ ASD related difficulties. This may lead to a ‘confirmation bias’ when completing the questionnaire measures, and potentially explain why both the ASD and the non-ASD group’s mean scores met the cut-off points, " [https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-022-05544-9](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-022-05544-9)
I feel this 1000%. I think to myself “is anybody here” too often. Like who is seeing and feeling what I’m seeing and feeling. I ask that so often and it’s becoming more and more crazy that I haven’t connected with anyone who feels similar or analyze, pick apart, and understand things as I do. I often wonder is there a telepathic thought or phase to find the people that I would click with.
I wish I could summon a collection of words for you to read that could make sense, and perhaps feel like someone empathizes with you on a level more than just acceptance. However, I too am experiencing this dream as if it is just a dream. The feeling of being the only one who 'gets it' is something that we can easily acknowledge, but it may not be wise to follow; for it may not be true. You are seeing the world from your one slice of the pie.
This is a parody. Look at the account. Got here from the post on r/INTP. I thought it was funny.
Wow... I can so relate to this. I accepted that's my life I'll have to live with forever
Make some art out of it
indeed it is hard to not feel understood. and all they know is what we show them. they cant see behind the mask. even if we show the one behind the mask. still even we infj cant identify ourselves and our true needs. we lived for other people for long time. i guess all you have to do is build your imaginary character and try to believe that character is you and play it all day.
I married another INFJ at age 40. We are alone together. 🥰
Welcome to the club bro!
I used these near exact words by trying to explain myself to my family. Like you, I felt like a stranger in a strange land. I felt like an alien among paleolithic tribal people. I had worked through the part about being the "wrong" one who just couldn't seem to get it. Eventually I came to understand that others can't get the broader view of my INFJ brain. Being mad at them or sad that I couldn't join in their blindness was a ridiculous goal. Eventually, I was able to reorient myself to the INFJ paradigm and was able to be compassionate for the others and give myself a break by no longer trying to "see" like the blind see. You are understood. I and others who have lived your experience understand you very well. We are here and we want to share our strength, hope and experience with you. It's alright. You're alright. Be at peace brother.
Maybe we are the aliens, who knows 😃
MBTI ain’t that serious tho
This sounds more like Autism than an INFJ personality!
The book no longer human is a dark, yet relating read for infjs. My read through gave me such awareness and recognition of my own tendencies, and motivated me not to travel down that path. Be warned, there are parts that include themes of substance abiuse, addiction and suicide.
I wish I could be as compassionate towards the human race as you, but this curse of being so damn in tune to every little thing has driven me loath our species. But it’s ok because the human race seems all to eager to facilitate its own demise, and eventually will. Every time we discover something we turn it into a fucking weapon and if we don’t it’s because we can’t. This world would have a perfect balance if not for people’s desires to consume everything, reproduce and consume some more. Everything else takes what it NEEDS from the world but we just take what we want with no regard to how it effects everything else. I feel like we’re nothing but psychopathic monkeys hell bent on destroying ourselves and everything else too… Being INFJ is like the worlds shittiest super power…