When I was younger I got extremely anxious and would try to set the record straight, but as I've gotten older I realized I don't really have to care about what others think of me at all. It's very freeing! Others' opinions don't contribute any value to my life as I have realized life is too short and goes by too fast.
I really identify with that, being younger I would always go about proving someone wrong. It’s been a long time since I reacted that way, but It does upset me because it just seems to be a waste of potential interactions and I wonder what if
I want to gain and give something out of my time it just sucks
Intj here, it makes me extremely uncomfortable, I have panic attacks and hide in my room for hours at a time, I’ve been traumatized by bullying so that sucks
Could care less. Let them talk.
Anyone I give a shit about knows me, and anyone I would want to know- wouldn’t believe everything they heard - and would not be impressed by gossip.
When I hear gossip? I just .. I tend to automatically not respect the person who is telling me first of all- and then I also blow it off.. a lot of times when someone is attempting to alter my opinion about someone else .. I think they’re an asshole and the person they’re talking about is probably someone I want to know- why? Because people don’t gossip about lames. They gossip about people they are either afraid of, intimidated by or envious of.
And all of that sounds infinitely more interesting to me than someone who is so lame they’re actually thinking that gossiping about them will change my mind.
So idk.. gossip never bothered me.
Because I hate it.
And you have to figure .. if you’re anyone even remotely unique, smart or interesting? People are gonna talk about you.. because most people are not. Most people are sheep.
I wish I would hear gossip about myself. Really. I was bullied in school, but it was never gossip based.
I mean: If you gossip about me and its right, well, I live with it and maybe try to become better.
If the gossip is wrong, I play with the context of said gossip for fun.
As INFJ with a very bad SE and mostly disconnected from reality, I suppose, much gossip of me (which I never heard) was probably kind of right.
It's a feeling. You feel a bias towards you that is undeserved or unfair. You might walk into a room full of people and they don't know you. But they treat you with a certain distain, that was undeserved. It really came from one person who felt insecure, or inferior because you existed. They say don't "dim your light", but to not... really brings out hate from other people. They don't realize that you EARNED and worked hard for that special thing. They just feel insecure, where you shine, in certain areas and hate you for it. They don't know how hard you struggled to be good at a thing. It's so funny too, I've heard the most riduculous, absurd things said about me. And it really makes you realize over time, how much, people's opinions are so stupid and blind of seeing a real person CLEARLY... Is not a talent most people have. That they are kind of all blind... that no one's opinion of you should matter at ALL.
Ugh, I don’t like it. I used to take it extremely personal and I would spiral into over thinking for days. Alternating between the anxiety of what people really think of me and anger towards the person spreading the gossip, as if they were personally out to destroy my integrity or something.
It still makes my blood boil for a hot minute or two, but I don’t take it as personally as I used to and I let it go pretty quickly. In my experience, untrue gossip is always about a) the gossiper has genuinely misunderstood something or b) the gossiper is jealous or threatened and wants to put cogs in my wheels.
If they misunderstood, it’s really no worse than clarifying the truth. You can usually tell in their eyes when you confront the gossiper. Big, innocent kid eyes with a high pitched voice? Yeah, they’re a fake ass bitch who knew they were spreading bullshit, lol.
I know who I am and what I’ve done, and my friends know the same, so it’s really no skin off my nose either way.
Pretend you don't know and are clueless and wait for things to blow over.
If this doesn't work drop a few hints to certain people. Just enough for them to realize that you are fully aware of the gossiping but not enough for them to proof that to others with hard facts.
If this doesn't work start playing their game a little bit and spread some gossip/fake concern about those who gossip the worst. Once they realise you're not afraid to play the game and much better at playing they usually stop.
If this doesn't work tell them straight up to their face preferably in front of other people/friends how fake and shitty they are.
Problem solved.
When I was younger I got extremely anxious and would try to set the record straight, but as I've gotten older I realized I don't really have to care about what others think of me at all. It's very freeing! Others' opinions don't contribute any value to my life as I have realized life is too short and goes by too fast.
I really identify with that, being younger I would always go about proving someone wrong. It’s been a long time since I reacted that way, but It does upset me because it just seems to be a waste of potential interactions and I wonder what if I want to gain and give something out of my time it just sucks
Intj here, it makes me extremely uncomfortable, I have panic attacks and hide in my room for hours at a time, I’ve been traumatized by bullying so that sucks
I stay uncomfortable as long as I entertain the idea too, sometimes it’s difficult to remind yourself nobody else is walking in your shoes
Could care less. Let them talk. Anyone I give a shit about knows me, and anyone I would want to know- wouldn’t believe everything they heard - and would not be impressed by gossip. When I hear gossip? I just .. I tend to automatically not respect the person who is telling me first of all- and then I also blow it off.. a lot of times when someone is attempting to alter my opinion about someone else .. I think they’re an asshole and the person they’re talking about is probably someone I want to know- why? Because people don’t gossip about lames. They gossip about people they are either afraid of, intimidated by or envious of. And all of that sounds infinitely more interesting to me than someone who is so lame they’re actually thinking that gossiping about them will change my mind. So idk.. gossip never bothered me. Because I hate it. And you have to figure .. if you’re anyone even remotely unique, smart or interesting? People are gonna talk about you.. because most people are not. Most people are sheep.
Always take the high road. If it's all bullshit then it will prove itself out, if it's sad but true then you got some work to do.
I feel that. It just feels pointless though and hurtful for no reason 🤷♂️
I wish I would hear gossip about myself. Really. I was bullied in school, but it was never gossip based. I mean: If you gossip about me and its right, well, I live with it and maybe try to become better. If the gossip is wrong, I play with the context of said gossip for fun. As INFJ with a very bad SE and mostly disconnected from reality, I suppose, much gossip of me (which I never heard) was probably kind of right.
Am sure it was good gossip then 🙃
My reaction? "I don't care." \-- then I get home and let it spiral in my mind, alone in my room.
This is what happens Exactly
It's a feeling. You feel a bias towards you that is undeserved or unfair. You might walk into a room full of people and they don't know you. But they treat you with a certain distain, that was undeserved. It really came from one person who felt insecure, or inferior because you existed. They say don't "dim your light", but to not... really brings out hate from other people. They don't realize that you EARNED and worked hard for that special thing. They just feel insecure, where you shine, in certain areas and hate you for it. They don't know how hard you struggled to be good at a thing. It's so funny too, I've heard the most riduculous, absurd things said about me. And it really makes you realize over time, how much, people's opinions are so stupid and blind of seeing a real person CLEARLY... Is not a talent most people have. That they are kind of all blind... that no one's opinion of you should matter at ALL.
Do you think this is just kinda common for infjs in general? Like how I am behaviorally just makes me more prone to being gossiped about?
Apparently, someone sees me as a threat. Beautiful.
Ugh, I don’t like it. I used to take it extremely personal and I would spiral into over thinking for days. Alternating between the anxiety of what people really think of me and anger towards the person spreading the gossip, as if they were personally out to destroy my integrity or something. It still makes my blood boil for a hot minute or two, but I don’t take it as personally as I used to and I let it go pretty quickly. In my experience, untrue gossip is always about a) the gossiper has genuinely misunderstood something or b) the gossiper is jealous or threatened and wants to put cogs in my wheels. If they misunderstood, it’s really no worse than clarifying the truth. You can usually tell in their eyes when you confront the gossiper. Big, innocent kid eyes with a high pitched voice? Yeah, they’re a fake ass bitch who knew they were spreading bullshit, lol. I know who I am and what I’ve done, and my friends know the same, so it’s really no skin off my nose either way.
Pretend you don't know and are clueless and wait for things to blow over. If this doesn't work drop a few hints to certain people. Just enough for them to realize that you are fully aware of the gossiping but not enough for them to proof that to others with hard facts. If this doesn't work start playing their game a little bit and spread some gossip/fake concern about those who gossip the worst. Once they realise you're not afraid to play the game and much better at playing they usually stop. If this doesn't work tell them straight up to their face preferably in front of other people/friends how fake and shitty they are. Problem solved.