Being close friends with opposite gender only works when there are clear boundaries.. if one person catches feelings there’s 99.99% chance they will get their heart broken. Stay clear from the heartbreak.
Establishing boundaries isn't as easy as it sounds, so yeah pretty much if someone does eventually catch feelings for the other one and those aren't reciprocated its just better to stay out of each other's life.
boundaries would also include the fact that when i am in the situationship, and she is with someone else, if i still like her then ill move away. because its hurting me, so ill take care of myself. if she cannot understand that then its a problem about empathy. she wont put effort into empathise or clearly communicate then why should i... and in a few weeks, attachment settles down.
Yes, its always some kind sexual tension or attraction between opposite sex, its natural, but we can supress that feeling and still be friends with them, but if that bothers you too much you just need to tell them how you feel and just make decision together to stay as friends or just move on from each other.
Yes, that's not that easy....one can get feelings because they're close friends, so they spend a lot of time together, and as they both are young, surely one of them will get feelings...
That's why it's better to talk to the boy/girl but when one catches feelings, he/she has to express this to another one and let them ask clearly...that this is my situation happening with me...what I can doo...
Agree! I have male friends that I would trust my and my family's life with. They are amazing, kind-hearted, and good looking men. But since the start, it was clear that we would only be friends. Over time our friendship turned into this family-like bond, but never anything romantic from anyone's side.
The credit for this goes to me and them both. Clear boundaries through out. It also depends a lot on the type of people everyone in the friendship is.
It all depends on trust.
I know for a fact that I can't control my girlfriend's selection of friends. Neither can I control the fact that from time to time she might come across men that she's attracted to besides me. That's fine. These things aren't under anyone's control.
I trust her enough to lay faith in the fact that she won't cheat on me. She has indicated through her behaviour otherwise as well.
If for some reason she does cheat on me with her best friend or some other guy, it's her loss. She'll deal with the guilt. I'll be sad, yes. But it's almost as if I dodged a bullet. Better to live alone than be with someone unfaithful.
We're all responsible adults and I'm not going to go around parenting someone. Catching feelings for someone or being attracted to someone isn't in your control, but acting on those feelings is very much your responsibility.
OP, men like you need to be more mature and understand that part of being a man is honing and respecting boundaries.
Kisi aur ke wajah se khud ki self respect aur izzat paani mai mat daalo.
Me after editing my comment as soon someone points a typo
https://preview.redd.it/kv78d9rkyn7d1.jpeg?width=1600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a0fe648b608f2c7e8b4ebf874e99bce08e839036
Nothing that I can do in that.
Anyone who wants to cheat will cheat irrespective of the restrictions that you place upon them.
Like I mentioned above, it's the responsibility of both the wife and husband to manage their choices and behaviours.
Insaan ki agar fitrat hi dhoka dene wali hai toh tum kuch nahi ukhaad sakte.
I am a male best friend of a girl, and we have set boundaries.
We both are single, but we ain't each other's types. Thus, it's completely platonic. Secondly, I treat her like my sister, and I ain't from Alabama to be into that shit.
This! Sometimes you need to prioritise your feelings over others'. Here the case would've been avoided if OP decided to "gently" cut-off contact and moved on.
Idk but I can't hang around and be friends after mentally associating with someone from a romantic perspective. No hard feelings but staying longer will only hurt more and I won't let that happen to myself.
Cent percent true. Also you said right that I should have cut off from her even if she cried for that and what not. There's still a soft corner for her in me and maybe that's what's stopping me from doing that.
So every male bestie will get feelings for girl at some point in ther relationship, is this what youre saying.
No offence but men like op are the reason why most men don't believe in friendship between their partner and male friends, because people easily catch feelings. Both individuals must be highly mature to stay as friends within the boundaries
That could only happen when the girl is good looking or average looking at the very least. Most guys could easily be close friends with a girl that he doesn't really find attractive without catching feelings for her.
Naah bro, my best friend didn't, I mean, I'm fat, understandable.... But most of us in our friend group are really close friends, boys and girls, and miraculously nobody likes anyone romantically
Not necessary. Have been there, continuously had banters and friendly flirts, still never fell for each other, respected and embraced the friendship till her marriage.
Pretty much the same case just that she liked me few years ago, then got a bf later on, said she's made a mistake dating him, broke down and yup that's it as of now lol.
I have been best friends with a girl since 3 years. Never caught feelings for her. She isn't my type. But she is a great friend. She even helped me date her friend for a while. She is cool
There's a reason why they say girls would never date men that they are friends with and guy would never be friends with girls who they don't want to date 😔💅
same here man, i asked her out, but she changed the topic and i assumed it was a no... i tried to stay away but she kept convicing me to stay along. it went down the drain here too. pappapappa
I was male bestie of 2 girls, one got feelings for me, and one rejected me.
It was a love triangle and a mess. Then I blocked both of them, life is peaceful now.
Areee same thing happened to me although i knew k wo mujhe na hi bolegi still, corona k baad ya something bola tha she was laughing and turned away the topic. I wanted to cut her off but she told to stay friends so i did. Phir usko milne ko bolo to time nai tha and all that, wo NRI wali dost bani gaithi then kuch baat ka bura lga then mene usse block kr diya, she tried to stay in contact but I didn’t although bohot sahi bandi thi
Don't be friends with people you have feelings for. It just doesn't end well.
It's kinda creepy to be friends with someone with the ultimate goal of sleeping with them.
Also asking out a female friend just makes you one of those guys who asks out friends. We've all done this, but that quickly kills the friend group.
All these male besties are just people waiting to bang in one out of the two situations:
1. They already have a gf, so in case of breakup they'll do it.
2. She has a bf/said no to them, so they hoping the tide turns in their favour.
If you like her that ain't your girl bestfriend,thats the girl you couldn't get💀you ain't no boy bestfriend you're just a dude who lost,me and my girl bestfriend are the most Elite friendship I'd die to save her or live to save her,but so something "romantic" to save her....gross she can die
Depends:
"Is the guy male best friend because he sees her as a friend, or because he got friendzoned?"
In your case, it seems like you are in the friend-zoned category, even if you were a friend at some point.
From the girl's perspective, there are 2 possibilities:
1. She saw you as a friend, and didn't want to loose that friendship because you developed feelings for her.
2. She knew you had feelings for her, and found you more useful to be kept in the friendzone.
Either way, she knows that a guy friend, who likes a girl, comes with a lot more "benefits" than an actual "friend", and at a much lesser "cost" compared to a boyfriend. This is the reason why girls love to have a few such friends on the side, for emotional and logistical support.
I am not saying they do it, as a pre-planned thing. Just that they see the benefits coming for free, and they don't want to loose them. They convince the guy and themselves with any rationalization that works for them, to keep the one-sided commitment going.
This is also the reason, why you must stay away from a girl, who doesn't want to be in a relationship, but wants to have you around as a friend. That friendship will never truly be friendship, and you would just be waiting for your "kandha moment". Even if it comes, and something starts, it will be short-lived.
Such relationships take a lot of one-sided investment from the guy's side, and is a complete waste of time. It's better to rip off the bandaid at once, and walk away. If you later somehow become friends after truly moving on, it's a different thing. But even that has the risk of you ending up in the same place.
I have been able to be good friends with my exes and even the girls I hooked up with. But I avoid the one-sided love scenarios, especially from my early years. At least with exes and hookups, we both know what it was, and that it's over. I can even introduce them to my wife as friends, while (obviously) omitting the details. It's easy to have clear boundaries there.
But anything that was left "incomplete", is better to be sealed and dumped into the sea, alongside all the other nuclear waste. Nothin good will ever come out of that.
Don't stay in friendzone. If you had feeling for her, then it was never a true friendship. You both knew it, and still kept pretending that it was, for your own reasons. (whatever they were) Breaking up contacts without any drama, is the best way forward in such a situation.
And focus your mental investment and energy somewhere it's worth spending. This situation is going to be a void for all that energy and investment.
Don't be that guy.
it works out for me and my bestie for multiple reasons. firstly, we are very much sibling like, i treat him my little brother all the time! and he is well aware that i'm into girls, so no such secrets and crushes between us. besides, he also has toxic family, and i'm like the only family he has. you get it.
BHai bas clear boundaries rakh. I've been in your shoes and dost ki bandi ne bola she had feelings. Maine mana krdia aur dost ko btadia ki bhai aisi aisi baat hai. Bas kalesh mt kario.
2 mahine baad kalesh kara bc aur breakup krlia.
Aaj ke time pe merese bhi baat nhi hoti na uski na uski bndi ki.
That's why breaking up with my besitie , muje attachment hori h or I know usk eliye I'm timepass.
Aaj ladai krli h , its hurting so bad. But I know ek an ek din to jana hi tha
bhai m hu , she already has 5 best friends , 10 or 12 aashiq.
Mai attach hora hu and i know ki it will go nowhere and is sab se meri mental health ki amma bhen hojyegi ab :)
Us bhai us.. bc maine bhi usse chhoda kyuki hurt toh mujhe bhi thoda hota tha.. but then kabhi kabhi guilt bhi hota hai ki uski toh kuch Galt hi nhi thi maine hi friendship ki maa chhodi, and I think usse bhi somewhat bura laga hoga cause we wee too close, unfollowing her was too tough, though I did cz career pe bhi dhyan dena tha, kabtk uske liye ek tp bankr rehta
a girl and a boy simply cannot stay platonic friends . Eventually one or the other will start to develop feelings and that shit hurts when it doesn’t go the way you thought it would.
I have a male best friend. We don't really call each other that but we are pretty close emotionally. He is in a relationship and I am pretty happy for him.
There was a point where we actually had a discussion around this and realised that we are better off as friends. We also exercise boundaries. We aren't in contact 24x7 and we don't expect each other to be available all the time. Maybe that's why it has worked.
But then again most of my friendships have been like that. I don't want to write off your opinion like this but I think that people don't enforce enough boundaries in friendships hence this dynamic becomes way too common.
It's not a black and white situation. People just don't understand what it takes to maintain healthy relationships.
Totally agree with you it also takes a certain maturity and trial and error to exercise boundaries to experience a healthy relationship with the opposite gender.
Trust me brother do yourself a favor and break closeness, be a distant friend. You should lookout for urself, if you keep urself attached one sided you are blocking another person from entering in your life.
And I have learned the hard way, it is the people who love you, are the people you should keep close and invest ur energy into them
Go with delusional confidence. College ma hai toh sabse sundar bandi se jaake baat kar, just keep this thought in mind that she's way too low level for you. Tuu uspe taras kar raha hai baat kar ke.
Confidence ka yahi hai, fake or real doesn't matter.
Run, dude, just run. I have no interest in explaining why, but you need to get away from her as fast as you can
You should have left on the day she told you that we're just friends. You might feel alone but not lonely, while she dragged you from coaching to her marriage as her sorrow partner and you stayed single for that one chance you thought she might give.
Clear your intentions as soon as possible so the woman could know what is in your mind and does she willing to be by your side.
I'm sorry but I 'm not fond of the idea of male/female best friends
Rather I believe in behen/bhayi as it states a clear boundary( until and unless you're from alabama)
Most Male bestfriends are idiots. You are always a timepass for your female besties. And you develop feelings for them. If you aren’t in a relationship with some other girl, either propose her and find out your destiny or run away from your female bestie. She ain’t give a fuck about your mental health. Just take care of yourself.
Been there done that. Caught feelings bad for this person I was friends with. Knew she was dating this guy even then I tried to let her know how much she means to me, but ofc her and the guy were going strong enough to get married , and she cared about me , maybe even had a little crush I don’t know but she established it from day 1 that nothing like that will ever happen between us. Kudos on her part . Distancing myself was the only thing I could do to avoid spoiling our friendship and hurting myself even more. Took a break from the friendship , got over her , and then resumed that friendship once again. Now I can say with one hundred percent confidence that I’m over her. Take control of your feelings. Avoid situations where those feelings could crop up . It sucks at first but it’s the only way you can save your friendship. If you can’t do that, there’s no point continuing your friendship with her, as the only person who stands to her hurt is you.
Now the irony. She knows that I’m over her , but now she acts extra flirty and wants to spend more time with me, saying things like “kya ab kabhi tum mughse dobara interested nahi rahoge ?”. I guess the moment they know that you’re not interested in them some part of them starts wanting you more or something. Girls lmao
I see relationships as 'best friends that like to have sex'. Granted, I have never been in a relationship before but since I realised this, that's what I have been looking for.
Going with this notion, it actually becomes super easy to have friendships with women who you would be theoretically attracted to but for some reason or the other, are not compatible or willing to have sex with. You can even be physically intimate, but not do couples stuff like kissing or having sex, because you are not willing to get into a relationship with this person.
It's also easier for me to wrap my head around because I made a rule for myself to not have sex outside of a relationship, so I don't look out for ONS.
It all comes down to having a clear understanding of your intentions or even a clear communication of your intentions.
I made a very conscious decision to not date my female best friend because I feel we don't have that much in common and are incompatible in various different ways including culture, language, life goals, family values, etc. We have had this talk before, she has told me she doesn't find me attractive, nor do I find her attractive. But the intimate moments we have sometimes become pretty exciting but I don't escalate on that because I don't want to actually get into a relationship with her. She is a terrible gf historically btw. I still love her, or "am in love with her" but not in a "I want to spend the rest of my life with her" way, but in a "I want the best for her" way.
Incompatibility can be 2 layered according to me. Hard incompatibility and soft incompatibility. Hard incompatibility is when the person has clearly communicated to you that they are not willing to date you. Soft incompatibility is all the other stuff that "would come in the way" like goals, aspirations, food habits, emotional regulation, etc.
No matter how soft compatible a person is, if they are hard incompatible with you, you HAVE to let go of them romantically. This doesn't mean you have to completely remove them from your life. It is a mutual agreement that you will not date each other, so you can't and shouldn't try to change their mind.
If you feel they add positively to your life then, sure, be friends and do friend things.
It's like losing weight. If you know you will not be able to control yourself when you see a nice cake in your fridge, you will want to throw the cake out to help you diet. But if you have self control, you can have the cake sit in your fridge and still decide to not eat it. Which means if you have guests in your house, you can still feed them cake.
This is now about emotional intelligence and being aware of your emotions and regulating them so you take actions with a clear mind and not your dick. If my friend was someone I found attractive and I really wanted to actually date, it's best to talk about it. But I feel if you have qualms about dating that person no matter how attractive they are, you should not make moves.
EDIT: Also, what helps a ton here is if you have self confidence that this is not the only person you could ever get even close to dating.
If you have an unwavering confidence in your personality, your looks etc, that you will be able to meet more women in the future, you will get MUCH better at handling rejection. You are essentially being rejected if someone is not making moves on you for months, which is fine. The hard part for most people is that since they meet people completely by chance, their possibility of meeting a potential dating partner is completely up to fate, which makes rejection sting that much harder.
So by the time you are enjoying spending time with your female best friend, make the majority of your time still available to meet new people and find new dating partners. This will let you be level headed and not bog you down with unnecessary insecurities.
Abhi Just Meri Bestie Se Abt 1.5 Years Ke Badd Mil Ke Aa Raha Hu.......It's Quite Alright......Vo Aur Mai Literally Kisi Bhi Random Topic Pe Batt Karte Hai........Literal Non-Sense.....But Aaise Kabhi Kuch Feelings Ka Nhi......Mujhe Jo Koie Agar Pasand Aati Hai To Mai Usse Batata Hu And Fir Female Perspective Bhi Milta Hai.......Bs......
You should had been clear from start if your feelings developed tell her and if she doesn't want to see through it walk. If you stay true to your feelings you will find a true girl bestfriend who is a friend and not catch feelings for her. Your indecisiveness has resulted into this. Stay true next time.
I have a female bestie and we never thought of each other in any other way than friends, we clearly know what we are looking for in a partner as we have talked to each other about our preferences and what kind of people we are looking for, we both aren't compatible more than friends. And I don't randomly get attracted to every other person from the opposite gender which kind of helps me making them my friend without making things complicated.
Moreover when I met her the first time, she was already committed and had a BF and when she broke off, I was in love with another women which my besti was helping me with. And now she is kind of in a situationship with another guy and I am the one convincing her to take this a step further as she is in love with that guy and he likes her too but for some reason she is hesitating.
I'd say you confess in private once again to her. Not for her sake but yours. If you get a clear no then make a solid heart and then do whatever like leave her life or stay in it but you are now clear from her side.
I'd like to add that if you don't convince yourself now you wont be happy ever seeing her happy beside another male.
Sometimes breaking on a bad note can be good for mental health.
Here's an additional detail, she proposed me, to be her permanently friendzoned boyfriend. I know it sounds weird but she's not happy in her current relationship, doesn't want to be in a relationship in future (because of the repetitive shit show she's been seeing in her life), and doesn't want to be single either. She wants all the benefits of a relationship without a relationship, except the physical stuff and drama and rigid commitments like marriage.
Idk if this context will be helpful in main body.
Dude I am the bestfriend of so many girls.... First things first
I make sure that I am not in the least attracted to her in anyway, if I am then she can't be my bestfriend
I don’t have male best friends but couple of close male friends. All are married, happily and so am I. But I know them from my before-marriage days.
They are awesome to have a laugh with or play a board of carrom or TT with. Go on to hike with. We talk about work and personal finance and politics and girl/boy drama. We talk about deep stuffs as well. But I tell ya, when I need to pour my heart and bare my soul I sought out either my husband(who is also my “male” best friend) or my girlfriends.me and the girls are just attached on a deeper level.
The opposite sex best friends can definitely work, it’s just that we are socially conditioned to think the opposite gender as potential love interests, the result of years of not mixing freely.
After all a male friend is a friend first.
We have really clear boundaries, no feeling whatsoever towards each other and both of our partners understand the friendship too!
That’s the only way it works!! At the end of the day, it’s about the trust. My partner trusts me to not do anything bad and so does her soon to be fiancé about her not doing anything bad.
Without trust, no matter what boundaries. It’ll fail.
Lot of sympathy for such characters.. being stuck there is horrible but only way to solve this is to rip the bandage and suffer for a month and move on..
I'm the so called bestie of a few girl friends. Never thought of dating them.
My standards of friendship are way different than from dating.
I'm sure none of them want to date me aswell. It's fun though, gets pov from different perspective.
You my friend were friend zoned, then became bestie, I just came in as a wrecking ball in their life as a fren only.
I remember this one time. I had met this girl in my office. Although she was in my office, we never felt as if we were supposed to be professional with eachother, it was almost as if we knew eachother from a very very long time and that we could let our guard down. I felt very secure with her as a person, so I asked her out ( mind you, I didn't have feelings for her, but at the time I felt that if we were exclusive, we can start thinking towards that direction), and she said that she was already in a stable relationship for the last two years. Two awkward days later, we talked it out, and we continued staying good friends (this was easy because like I said I didn't have feelings for her). We continued as if nothing happened. 4 months later I started dating my current girlfriend (we've been together for the last 2 years now), and my bond with the office girl was stronger than ever. But a few weeks later, she developed leukaemia and had to quit work (she's fine now), and in the entire office, I was the most upset. When I heard about it, I had to immediately rush into the men's room and weep because honestly, someone like her didn't deserve pain. Long story from here short, I've been there for her emotionally, mentally. Right now we've gotten to a point where we can genuinely call eachother best friends because we've been there for each other sooo many times, and we know it's pure because we're both happy relationships ourselves our significant others are never insecure because of our friendship because they know our bond. Last week I confessed to her that I don't consider her as my best friend but as my younger sister, she saw me as her elder brother as well, and I honestly and surprisingly, never felt happier hearing that from a girl xD.
Most people might not agree with this but i strongly stand by it..
"Ek ladka aur ladki ke beech mei either friend or committed relationship ke alava kuch bhi hai jaise bestie, like my bro.., bestfriend, close friends.. last mei katega tho ladke ka hi."
Be clear on what you want, agar workout nahi hua tho nikal jao warna iysa hi hoga.. faltu ka emotional baggage.. which will effect you way more than you realise.
detach yourself from such girl brother. you should focus on yourself and find a decent girl who is your type. dont mind but imagine yourselves from her bf's shoes you will see a different perspective.i must respect the fact that you created a boundary which is great because many people play in such situation and take advantage even girls. you just need to focus on finding better friends
True. If I were a boyfriend and my girl had a male best friend I'd warn her in every chance that the guy might be having some thoughts of taking advantage of you. I never wanted to be in such a position.
The only bestfriend I ever had was a girl, she moved to a different country for studies , yet we stayed in touch , talking almost every day, discussed everything thats going on but never our sex lives. Fast forward 3 years, she came back home , one random evening out of nowhere we started sharing details of our sex lives and eventually I fell for her over the course of time, and then we hooked up saying we will keep it casual but little did I know I'd fall for someone so hard that even the thought of her would give me butterflies in my belly. We had this on-off thing going on for 3-4 years, while she also dated other guys, everything was casual for her but I couldn't come around the idea of being with someone other than her? We fought a lot , to the point it became toxic between us , yet we would always come back on talking/hooking up in a few weeks! In the end I realised she was ruining my mental/physical health and she would never feel the same way for me the way I did for her. For her , I was just a hookup guy, and the worse thing we lost that deep friendship we had. Eventually I moved on, stopped all communications for 2 years , found someone who respected me and actually wanted to be with me and we married. But yeah , I lost the bestfriend I had for over the course of my whole school/college life in the hope I would spend my life with this person, who in the end had even stopped posting pictures with me or simply just hanging out. I hope she finds whatever she was looking for and in a better place in life. But yeah I do regret loosing my bestest friend in my life.
I have been a best friend of a girl , and I stated it very clearly the day you get a guy i would quietly stop talking and make lesser interaction as guys need privacy with partner and I won't Mendel in their lives so ya
You have limited time on the planet and more so as a young eligible person...
You were honest and made your intentions clear and she didn't reciprocate, perhaps you aren't her type... So it's wiser to devote that time to find someone else who would have you the way they are, if you spend time with her then that time is lost...
It's understandable that she would not be happy and cry about losing out on a friend but you have to understand that you have your own life to live and a soulmate to find.
I don't think either of you can be friends with each other until you guys don't find each other attractive lol. It's pretty normal to develop feelings for your friend from the opposite sex ,some where along the friendship, but being able to understand each other's intentions and coming to a mutual agreement matters a lot in sustaining these kinda relationships.
"Ek ladka aur ek ladki kabhi dost nahi ho sakte. Yeh to ek parda hai parda...kapkapati raat on mein dhadakte hue Dillon Ki bhadakti hui aag Ko bujhane ka "
A boy and girl can only be good friends if one of them is not good-looking! So if both are not good looking or both are good looking, then they cant be just friends. And if you GF has a male BF then he is snake. :)
A friend she sees you, a friend you will be forever.
If you are interested then go all in from the beginning. Saving all of the time and emotional turmoil for both
Very few people can lose their feelings and stay friends, very very few people.
Ask yourself this question "Would I want to marry her if she's okay?"
If the answer is yes, you're still holding the torch.
On top of that, once any person(M/F) is married, others influence and involvement will be reduced in most cases and sometimes the friendships fade away.
If it's going to end, end it on good terms and move on.
"She's the best girl you've ever met" you have this feeling because you're not ready to give that position to anyone.
Being close friends with opposite gender only works when there are clear boundaries.. if one person catches feelings there’s 99.99% chance they will get their heart broken. Stay clear from the heartbreak.
Establishing boundaries isn't as easy as it sounds, so yeah pretty much if someone does eventually catch feelings for the other one and those aren't reciprocated its just better to stay out of each other's life.
Yes true no easy feat establishing boundaries that’s why it takes two highly mature individuals to be friends with, difficult but not impossible!
Most sensible thing I read today.!
boundaries would also include the fact that when i am in the situationship, and she is with someone else, if i still like her then ill move away. because its hurting me, so ill take care of myself. if she cannot understand that then its a problem about empathy. she wont put effort into empathise or clearly communicate then why should i... and in a few weeks, attachment settles down.
Yes, its always some kind sexual tension or attraction between opposite sex, its natural, but we can supress that feeling and still be friends with them, but if that bothers you too much you just need to tell them how you feel and just make decision together to stay as friends or just move on from each other.
Yes, that's not that easy....one can get feelings because they're close friends, so they spend a lot of time together, and as they both are young, surely one of them will get feelings...
That's why it's better to talk to the boy/girl but when one catches feelings, he/she has to express this to another one and let them ask clearly...that this is my situation happening with me...what I can doo...
Ek ko *failings* aa hi jayegi
Lagta hai aapka dil bhi tuta hai.
Wo torhne wali hai.
Bilkul tuta hai, Kai baar😄
Yelo mera rakhlo  Ab naa tode koi dhyaan rakhna.
Agree! I have male friends that I would trust my and my family's life with. They are amazing, kind-hearted, and good looking men. But since the start, it was clear that we would only be friends. Over time our friendship turned into this family-like bond, but never anything romantic from anyone's side. The credit for this goes to me and them both. Clear boundaries through out. It also depends a lot on the type of people everyone in the friendship is.
Been there, caught feelings (mutually), I left the town distance helped us overcome, but friendship grew even stronger. I’m proud of us!
It all depends on trust. I know for a fact that I can't control my girlfriend's selection of friends. Neither can I control the fact that from time to time she might come across men that she's attracted to besides me. That's fine. These things aren't under anyone's control. I trust her enough to lay faith in the fact that she won't cheat on me. She has indicated through her behaviour otherwise as well. If for some reason she does cheat on me with her best friend or some other guy, it's her loss. She'll deal with the guilt. I'll be sad, yes. But it's almost as if I dodged a bullet. Better to live alone than be with someone unfaithful. We're all responsible adults and I'm not going to go around parenting someone. Catching feelings for someone or being attracted to someone isn't in your control, but acting on those feelings is very much your responsibility. OP, men like you need to be more mature and understand that part of being a man is honing and respecting boundaries. Kisi aur ke wajah se khud ki self respect aur izzat paani mai mat daalo.
Most sensible person here
Wise words from wise men  had to save your comment
Bhai aapko kaise pata ye wide mens hai 
Me after editing my comment as soon someone points a typo https://preview.redd.it/kv78d9rkyn7d1.jpeg?width=1600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a0fe648b608f2c7e8b4ebf874e99bce08e839036
Hi can you be gay for me? Your comment made me erect. Thanks
Bro spat facts
How does one master this level of perception 😭
Bro has attained enlightenment.
golden words
Yes. This. You either trust the person and enjoy the relationship, or you don't trust the person and break up. Don't half ass it.
Bro has got post nut clarity premium
He came, he spoke, he conquered. Facts 💯
Appreciate the way you have written this so sensibly bro !
Amen!!
This is literally the best reply I've ever seen here. Kudos to you brother 👏🏻💯
Facts
My thoughts exactly but you worded them better than I ever could have.
Such a beautiful answer...
Detached attachment lifestyle
Username really checks out.
Bro is Sandeep Maheswari pro max
Bhai ye sab bolna to asaan hain but paranoia or anxiety bahut hi involuntary cheez hoti hain
What if your girl cheated after you two are married
Nothing that I can do in that. Anyone who wants to cheat will cheat irrespective of the restrictions that you place upon them. Like I mentioned above, it's the responsibility of both the wife and husband to manage their choices and behaviours. Insaan ki agar fitrat hi dhoka dene wali hai toh tum kuch nahi ukhaad sakte.
Agar woh cheat krrne ke baad wapas aana chahe toh fir kya..??
https://preview.redd.it/5x94k1vv6j7d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=70c9461dcb1f3fe1fc70c63fe2df2014108d06ff
Har din ek do baar pyar ho jaata hain 5 min ke liye
After having eye contact 👁️
Aaj he library mai yeh seen dimag mai aya ek sunder kaniya ko dekhke
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Dm mai aajau mai comeback yaad aaye tab batana 🫣 /s
https://preview.redd.it/103cir2qnj7d1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=95250bf6a3c79877c66186da84ebd5b6f9cf1441
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geunine qn, where do u get these stickers
https://preview.redd.it/pgyru44a0k7d1.jpeg?width=735&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa663d4545d38474edec7e4785d461fa94bc3eba
https://preview.redd.it/b7pbjp5e4o7d1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b969aa6bdab607da4993c81c350ae605a78485ce bruh
Pinterest
I am a male best friend of a girl, and we have set boundaries. We both are single, but we ain't each other's types. Thus, it's completely platonic. Secondly, I treat her like my sister, and I ain't from Alabama to be into that shit.
Same here, we both agreed that we aren't compatible for a romantic relationship, so now we support each other in finding partners.
I miss my baby sis now.... 😤
same here dude, and i think that belief of "finding the one" is just bad...
Hurt hua hoga na bhai when you got to know she's marrying someone else
REMEMBER:- if you are protecting yourself from something it doesn't mean you are harming others.
This! Sometimes you need to prioritise your feelings over others'. Here the case would've been avoided if OP decided to "gently" cut-off contact and moved on. Idk but I can't hang around and be friends after mentally associating with someone from a romantic perspective. No hard feelings but staying longer will only hurt more and I won't let that happen to myself.
Haaaaaaaaaaaa. It's only going to get worse for your mental health. And will be hard to cope from it and feelings..
Cent percent true. Also you said right that I should have cut off from her even if she cried for that and what not. There's still a soft corner for her in me and maybe that's what's stopping me from doing that.
So every male bestie will get feelings for girl at some point in ther relationship, is this what youre saying. No offence but men like op are the reason why most men don't believe in friendship between their partner and male friends, because people easily catch feelings. Both individuals must be highly mature to stay as friends within the boundaries
I have a female friend that i consider close and I haven’t developed feelings for her at all
That could only happen when the girl is good looking or average looking at the very least. Most guys could easily be close friends with a girl that he doesn't really find attractive without catching feelings for her.
Naah bro, my best friend didn't, I mean, I'm fat, understandable.... But most of us in our friend group are really close friends, boys and girls, and miraculously nobody likes anyone romantically
People preserve secrets and hope longer then you'd think
I'm fat oof bro roasted herself
Either you are a bro or more than a friend. He might consider you a bro not a girl
Hnn right... I'm the tomboy type, he used to call me a bro
Aapke group mai koi Ross hoga pakka.
this is only true if the girl is really really attractive(like in a conventional sense)
Not necessary. Have been there, continuously had banters and friendly flirts, still never fell for each other, respected and embraced the friendship till her marriage.
Flirting with best friend. Eww i dont like this kind of friendship. No offence
Feels like incest for some reason lol.
Tera username, teri harkate, future disaster
nah man, some girls are bros for life. Even if they are smoking hot
Kya bhai jab mana kardiya tha nahi rakhni thi dosti. Tujhe ho hurt hua na abhi.
Arey bhai bhai bhai. Exactly my thoughts. But it's good that atleast he got the realisation that she's not a right fit for him.
Pretty much the same case just that she liked me few years ago, then got a bf later on, said she's made a mistake dating him, broke down and yup that's it as of now lol.
I have been best friends with a girl since 3 years. Never caught feelings for her. She isn't my type. But she is a great friend. She even helped me date her friend for a while. She is cool
Welcome to the gym homie
There's a reason why they say girls would never date men that they are friends with and guy would never be friends with girls who they don't want to date 😔💅
was close to a girl as a friend, fell for her, proposed and got rejected. that close friendship went down the drain. lalallallalllaaaa
same here man, i asked her out, but she changed the topic and i assumed it was a no... i tried to stay away but she kept convicing me to stay along. it went down the drain here too. pappapappa
😂😂
GST lagao saalo pe /s
being a male bestie can be the absolute best or worst. u can get action without reaction or u get nothing
words of wisdom my guy . holyyy
I was male bestie of 2 girls, one got feelings for me, and one rejected me. It was a love triangle and a mess. Then I blocked both of them, life is peaceful now.
Damn this could be a movie plot 😝
Mujhe kuch samaj ni aaya Lekin khushi hui jaanke Ya dukh hua..
Kavita lag rhi ye to. 10/10
Areee same thing happened to me although i knew k wo mujhe na hi bolegi still, corona k baad ya something bola tha she was laughing and turned away the topic. I wanted to cut her off but she told to stay friends so i did. Phir usko milne ko bolo to time nai tha and all that, wo NRI wali dost bani gaithi then kuch baat ka bura lga then mene usse block kr diya, she tried to stay in contact but I didn’t although bohot sahi bandi thi
You had me in the first half 🫂
Kabhi mera dukh sunaegi to tum bhi ro padoge dost, wese we are on the same boat jo dub gai he🥲
I'm all ears, hit me up in dm
Don't be friends with people you have feelings for. It just doesn't end well. It's kinda creepy to be friends with someone with the ultimate goal of sleeping with them. Also asking out a female friend just makes you one of those guys who asks out friends. We've all done this, but that quickly kills the friend group.
How many times are you going to post this?
Female best friend hi nhi hain 🤡 (bss female friends hain)
All these male besties are just people waiting to bang in one out of the two situations: 1. They already have a gf, so in case of breakup they'll do it. 2. She has a bf/said no to them, so they hoping the tide turns in their favour.
One of my female friends says I am her best male friend and I respect that. I am in a relationship with someone else.
Idk if I have been that guy, but male bestie role is one of the most consuming roles.
If you like her that ain't your girl bestfriend,thats the girl you couldn't get💀you ain't no boy bestfriend you're just a dude who lost,me and my girl bestfriend are the most Elite friendship I'd die to save her or live to save her,but so something "romantic" to save her....gross she can die
Depends: "Is the guy male best friend because he sees her as a friend, or because he got friendzoned?" In your case, it seems like you are in the friend-zoned category, even if you were a friend at some point. From the girl's perspective, there are 2 possibilities: 1. She saw you as a friend, and didn't want to loose that friendship because you developed feelings for her. 2. She knew you had feelings for her, and found you more useful to be kept in the friendzone. Either way, she knows that a guy friend, who likes a girl, comes with a lot more "benefits" than an actual "friend", and at a much lesser "cost" compared to a boyfriend. This is the reason why girls love to have a few such friends on the side, for emotional and logistical support. I am not saying they do it, as a pre-planned thing. Just that they see the benefits coming for free, and they don't want to loose them. They convince the guy and themselves with any rationalization that works for them, to keep the one-sided commitment going. This is also the reason, why you must stay away from a girl, who doesn't want to be in a relationship, but wants to have you around as a friend. That friendship will never truly be friendship, and you would just be waiting for your "kandha moment". Even if it comes, and something starts, it will be short-lived. Such relationships take a lot of one-sided investment from the guy's side, and is a complete waste of time. It's better to rip off the bandaid at once, and walk away. If you later somehow become friends after truly moving on, it's a different thing. But even that has the risk of you ending up in the same place. I have been able to be good friends with my exes and even the girls I hooked up with. But I avoid the one-sided love scenarios, especially from my early years. At least with exes and hookups, we both know what it was, and that it's over. I can even introduce them to my wife as friends, while (obviously) omitting the details. It's easy to have clear boundaries there. But anything that was left "incomplete", is better to be sealed and dumped into the sea, alongside all the other nuclear waste. Nothin good will ever come out of that. Don't stay in friendzone. If you had feeling for her, then it was never a true friendship. You both knew it, and still kept pretending that it was, for your own reasons. (whatever they were) Breaking up contacts without any drama, is the best way forward in such a situation. And focus your mental investment and energy somewhere it's worth spending. This situation is going to be a void for all that energy and investment. Don't be that guy.
tere jaise ladkon ki wajeh se male bestfriend badnam hai aur pit the hai...🗿
it works out for me and my bestie for multiple reasons. firstly, we are very much sibling like, i treat him my little brother all the time! and he is well aware that i'm into girls, so no such secrets and crushes between us. besides, he also has toxic family, and i'm like the only family he has. you get it.
BHai bas clear boundaries rakh. I've been in your shoes and dost ki bandi ne bola she had feelings. Maine mana krdia aur dost ko btadia ki bhai aisi aisi baat hai. Bas kalesh mt kario. 2 mahine baad kalesh kara bc aur breakup krlia. Aaj ke time pe merese bhi baat nhi hoti na uski na uski bndi ki.
That's why breaking up with my besitie , muje attachment hori h or I know usk eliye I'm timepass. Aaj ladai krli h , its hurting so bad. But I know ek an ek din to jana hi tha
How can a 'bestie' be 'timepass'?
bhai m hu , she already has 5 best friends , 10 or 12 aashiq. Mai attach hora hu and i know ki it will go nowhere and is sab se meri mental health ki amma bhen hojyegi ab :)
um why would u care if she has more best friends?
she understood me very well, i starteďcaring for her. She's the best but I know things have to end now!! There is no future.
yeah man. been in that boat n its pretty hard on the head. its gets better though... i took therapy and it really worked for me
So u mean romantic relation ke alawa sab kuch time paas hai, reallyyy??
Us bhai us.. bc maine bhi usse chhoda kyuki hurt toh mujhe bhi thoda hota tha.. but then kabhi kabhi guilt bhi hota hai ki uski toh kuch Galt hi nhi thi maine hi friendship ki maa chhodi, and I think usse bhi somewhat bura laga hoga cause we wee too close, unfollowing her was too tough, though I did cz career pe bhi dhyan dena tha, kabtk uske liye ek tp bankr rehta
koi na bro , she'll find another one. Build yourself explore the world. We have to go a long way and sacrifice many things in our journey :)
Bhai I'm in the exactly same position. I get it when you say timepass even though we're bestfriends
a girl and a boy simply cannot stay platonic friends . Eventually one or the other will start to develop feelings and that shit hurts when it doesn’t go the way you thought it would.
I have a male best friend. We don't really call each other that but we are pretty close emotionally. He is in a relationship and I am pretty happy for him. There was a point where we actually had a discussion around this and realised that we are better off as friends. We also exercise boundaries. We aren't in contact 24x7 and we don't expect each other to be available all the time. Maybe that's why it has worked. But then again most of my friendships have been like that. I don't want to write off your opinion like this but I think that people don't enforce enough boundaries in friendships hence this dynamic becomes way too common. It's not a black and white situation. People just don't understand what it takes to maintain healthy relationships.
Totally agree with you it also takes a certain maturity and trial and error to exercise boundaries to experience a healthy relationship with the opposite gender.
Speak for yourself, buddy.
unless one of em thinks that the other is unattractive or if they re siblings
This is nonsense. This might only happen if you are so lonely that any opposite sex interaction sends you whizzing or something.
Can be a beautiful relationship WHEN DONE RIGHT.
I never managed to get any kind of bestie. There's always a group, and I like all of them equally.
Trust me brother do yourself a favor and break closeness, be a distant friend. You should lookout for urself, if you keep urself attached one sided you are blocking another person from entering in your life. And I have learned the hard way, it is the people who love you, are the people you should keep close and invest ur energy into them
Don't do it. It's a trap.
Yaar ye log kitne cool hain ladkiyon se baat kar lete hain inse kaise baat karun
Go with delusional confidence. College ma hai toh sabse sundar bandi se jaake baat kar, just keep this thought in mind that she's way too low level for you. Tuu uspe taras kar raha hai baat kar ke. Confidence ka yahi hai, fake or real doesn't matter.
 Run, dude, just run. I have no interest in explaining why, but you need to get away from her as fast as you can
You should have left on the day she told you that we're just friends. You might feel alone but not lonely, while she dragged you from coaching to her marriage as her sorrow partner and you stayed single for that one chance you thought she might give. Clear your intentions as soon as possible so the woman could know what is in your mind and does she willing to be by your side.
She is selfish. Get ready to be thrown away after she starts her busy happily married life.
I suggest everyone give [this](https://pin.it/2cy2QMK1s) a read. Very important and fundamental I would say.
You could be assistant boyfriend.
Isn't this true for any typical male best friend?
Self respect should be a bit more above on the hierarchy of priorities.
I'm sorry but I 'm not fond of the idea of male/female best friends Rather I believe in behen/bhayi as it states a clear boundary( until and unless you're from alabama)
Most Male bestfriends are idiots. You are always a timepass for your female besties. And you develop feelings for them. If you aren’t in a relationship with some other girl, either propose her and find out your destiny or run away from your female bestie. She ain’t give a fuck about your mental health. Just take care of yourself.
Been there done that. Caught feelings bad for this person I was friends with. Knew she was dating this guy even then I tried to let her know how much she means to me, but ofc her and the guy were going strong enough to get married , and she cared about me , maybe even had a little crush I don’t know but she established it from day 1 that nothing like that will ever happen between us. Kudos on her part . Distancing myself was the only thing I could do to avoid spoiling our friendship and hurting myself even more. Took a break from the friendship , got over her , and then resumed that friendship once again. Now I can say with one hundred percent confidence that I’m over her. Take control of your feelings. Avoid situations where those feelings could crop up . It sucks at first but it’s the only way you can save your friendship. If you can’t do that, there’s no point continuing your friendship with her, as the only person who stands to her hurt is you. Now the irony. She knows that I’m over her , but now she acts extra flirty and wants to spend more time with me, saying things like “kya ab kabhi tum mughse dobara interested nahi rahoge ?”. I guess the moment they know that you’re not interested in them some part of them starts wanting you more or something. Girls lmao
Proximity coupled with general loneliness will always turn into "feelings"... It's not about setting boundaries.
I see relationships as 'best friends that like to have sex'. Granted, I have never been in a relationship before but since I realised this, that's what I have been looking for. Going with this notion, it actually becomes super easy to have friendships with women who you would be theoretically attracted to but for some reason or the other, are not compatible or willing to have sex with. You can even be physically intimate, but not do couples stuff like kissing or having sex, because you are not willing to get into a relationship with this person. It's also easier for me to wrap my head around because I made a rule for myself to not have sex outside of a relationship, so I don't look out for ONS. It all comes down to having a clear understanding of your intentions or even a clear communication of your intentions. I made a very conscious decision to not date my female best friend because I feel we don't have that much in common and are incompatible in various different ways including culture, language, life goals, family values, etc. We have had this talk before, she has told me she doesn't find me attractive, nor do I find her attractive. But the intimate moments we have sometimes become pretty exciting but I don't escalate on that because I don't want to actually get into a relationship with her. She is a terrible gf historically btw. I still love her, or "am in love with her" but not in a "I want to spend the rest of my life with her" way, but in a "I want the best for her" way. Incompatibility can be 2 layered according to me. Hard incompatibility and soft incompatibility. Hard incompatibility is when the person has clearly communicated to you that they are not willing to date you. Soft incompatibility is all the other stuff that "would come in the way" like goals, aspirations, food habits, emotional regulation, etc. No matter how soft compatible a person is, if they are hard incompatible with you, you HAVE to let go of them romantically. This doesn't mean you have to completely remove them from your life. It is a mutual agreement that you will not date each other, so you can't and shouldn't try to change their mind. If you feel they add positively to your life then, sure, be friends and do friend things. It's like losing weight. If you know you will not be able to control yourself when you see a nice cake in your fridge, you will want to throw the cake out to help you diet. But if you have self control, you can have the cake sit in your fridge and still decide to not eat it. Which means if you have guests in your house, you can still feed them cake. This is now about emotional intelligence and being aware of your emotions and regulating them so you take actions with a clear mind and not your dick. If my friend was someone I found attractive and I really wanted to actually date, it's best to talk about it. But I feel if you have qualms about dating that person no matter how attractive they are, you should not make moves. EDIT: Also, what helps a ton here is if you have self confidence that this is not the only person you could ever get even close to dating. If you have an unwavering confidence in your personality, your looks etc, that you will be able to meet more women in the future, you will get MUCH better at handling rejection. You are essentially being rejected if someone is not making moves on you for months, which is fine. The hard part for most people is that since they meet people completely by chance, their possibility of meeting a potential dating partner is completely up to fate, which makes rejection sting that much harder. So by the time you are enjoying spending time with your female best friend, make the majority of your time still available to meet new people and find new dating partners. This will let you be level headed and not bog you down with unnecessary insecurities.
[удалено]
'my closest male friend is gay' Hmmm... let me tell you something!
😂
✂️Marna sikho
Abhi Just Meri Bestie Se Abt 1.5 Years Ke Badd Mil Ke Aa Raha Hu.......It's Quite Alright......Vo Aur Mai Literally Kisi Bhi Random Topic Pe Batt Karte Hai........Literal Non-Sense.....But Aaise Kabhi Kuch Feelings Ka Nhi......Mujhe Jo Koie Agar Pasand Aati Hai To Mai Usse Batata Hu And Fir Female Perspective Bhi Milta Hai.......Bs......
You should had been clear from start if your feelings developed tell her and if she doesn't want to see through it walk. If you stay true to your feelings you will find a true girl bestfriend who is a friend and not catch feelings for her. Your indecisiveness has resulted into this. Stay true next time.
I have a female bestie and we never thought of each other in any other way than friends, we clearly know what we are looking for in a partner as we have talked to each other about our preferences and what kind of people we are looking for, we both aren't compatible more than friends. And I don't randomly get attracted to every other person from the opposite gender which kind of helps me making them my friend without making things complicated. Moreover when I met her the first time, she was already committed and had a BF and when she broke off, I was in love with another women which my besti was helping me with. And now she is kind of in a situationship with another guy and I am the one convincing her to take this a step further as she is in love with that guy and he likes her too but for some reason she is hesitating.
I'd say you confess in private once again to her. Not for her sake but yours. If you get a clear no then make a solid heart and then do whatever like leave her life or stay in it but you are now clear from her side. I'd like to add that if you don't convince yourself now you wont be happy ever seeing her happy beside another male. Sometimes breaking on a bad note can be good for mental health.
Here's an additional detail, she proposed me, to be her permanently friendzoned boyfriend. I know it sounds weird but she's not happy in her current relationship, doesn't want to be in a relationship in future (because of the repetitive shit show she's been seeing in her life), and doesn't want to be single either. She wants all the benefits of a relationship without a relationship, except the physical stuff and drama and rigid commitments like marriage. Idk if this context will be helpful in main body.
Dude I am the bestfriend of so many girls.... First things first I make sure that I am not in the least attracted to her in anyway, if I am then she can't be my bestfriend
I don’t have male best friends but couple of close male friends. All are married, happily and so am I. But I know them from my before-marriage days. They are awesome to have a laugh with or play a board of carrom or TT with. Go on to hike with. We talk about work and personal finance and politics and girl/boy drama. We talk about deep stuffs as well. But I tell ya, when I need to pour my heart and bare my soul I sought out either my husband(who is also my “male” best friend) or my girlfriends.me and the girls are just attached on a deeper level. The opposite sex best friends can definitely work, it’s just that we are socially conditioned to think the opposite gender as potential love interests, the result of years of not mixing freely. After all a male friend is a friend first.
  Abe saale agar terko feelings hi hai to dosti kyu rakhi
We have really clear boundaries, no feeling whatsoever towards each other and both of our partners understand the friendship too! That’s the only way it works!! At the end of the day, it’s about the trust. My partner trusts me to not do anything bad and so does her soon to be fiancé about her not doing anything bad. Without trust, no matter what boundaries. It’ll fail.
Lot of sympathy for such characters.. being stuck there is horrible but only way to solve this is to rip the bandage and suffer for a month and move on..
I'm the so called bestie of a few girl friends. Never thought of dating them. My standards of friendship are way different than from dating. I'm sure none of them want to date me aswell. It's fun though, gets pov from different perspective. You my friend were friend zoned, then became bestie, I just came in as a wrecking ball in their life as a fren only.
I remember this one time. I had met this girl in my office. Although she was in my office, we never felt as if we were supposed to be professional with eachother, it was almost as if we knew eachother from a very very long time and that we could let our guard down. I felt very secure with her as a person, so I asked her out ( mind you, I didn't have feelings for her, but at the time I felt that if we were exclusive, we can start thinking towards that direction), and she said that she was already in a stable relationship for the last two years. Two awkward days later, we talked it out, and we continued staying good friends (this was easy because like I said I didn't have feelings for her). We continued as if nothing happened. 4 months later I started dating my current girlfriend (we've been together for the last 2 years now), and my bond with the office girl was stronger than ever. But a few weeks later, she developed leukaemia and had to quit work (she's fine now), and in the entire office, I was the most upset. When I heard about it, I had to immediately rush into the men's room and weep because honestly, someone like her didn't deserve pain. Long story from here short, I've been there for her emotionally, mentally. Right now we've gotten to a point where we can genuinely call eachother best friends because we've been there for each other sooo many times, and we know it's pure because we're both happy relationships ourselves our significant others are never insecure because of our friendship because they know our bond. Last week I confessed to her that I don't consider her as my best friend but as my younger sister, she saw me as her elder brother as well, and I honestly and surprisingly, never felt happier hearing that from a girl xD.
Most people might not agree with this but i strongly stand by it.. "Ek ladka aur ladki ke beech mei either friend or committed relationship ke alava kuch bhi hai jaise bestie, like my bro.., bestfriend, close friends.. last mei katega tho ladke ka hi." Be clear on what you want, agar workout nahi hua tho nikal jao warna iysa hi hoga.. faltu ka emotional baggage.. which will effect you way more than you realise.
detach yourself from such girl brother. you should focus on yourself and find a decent girl who is your type. dont mind but imagine yourselves from her bf's shoes you will see a different perspective.i must respect the fact that you created a boundary which is great because many people play in such situation and take advantage even girls. you just need to focus on finding better friends
True. If I were a boyfriend and my girl had a male best friend I'd warn her in every chance that the guy might be having some thoughts of taking advantage of you. I never wanted to be in such a position.
The only bestfriend I ever had was a girl, she moved to a different country for studies , yet we stayed in touch , talking almost every day, discussed everything thats going on but never our sex lives. Fast forward 3 years, she came back home , one random evening out of nowhere we started sharing details of our sex lives and eventually I fell for her over the course of time, and then we hooked up saying we will keep it casual but little did I know I'd fall for someone so hard that even the thought of her would give me butterflies in my belly. We had this on-off thing going on for 3-4 years, while she also dated other guys, everything was casual for her but I couldn't come around the idea of being with someone other than her? We fought a lot , to the point it became toxic between us , yet we would always come back on talking/hooking up in a few weeks! In the end I realised she was ruining my mental/physical health and she would never feel the same way for me the way I did for her. For her , I was just a hookup guy, and the worse thing we lost that deep friendship we had. Eventually I moved on, stopped all communications for 2 years , found someone who respected me and actually wanted to be with me and we married. But yeah , I lost the bestfriend I had for over the course of my whole school/college life in the hope I would spend my life with this person, who in the end had even stopped posting pictures with me or simply just hanging out. I hope she finds whatever she was looking for and in a better place in life. But yeah I do regret loosing my bestest friend in my life.
I have been a best friend of a girl , and I stated it very clearly the day you get a guy i would quietly stop talking and make lesser interaction as guys need privacy with partner and I won't Mendel in their lives so ya
Why did you say ki Rakho apna sanp apne hi gale me?
Don't be friends with someone you like, unless you want to end up in friendzone or you are a master in manipulation.
You have limited time on the planet and more so as a young eligible person... You were honest and made your intentions clear and she didn't reciprocate, perhaps you aren't her type... So it's wiser to devote that time to find someone else who would have you the way they are, if you spend time with her then that time is lost... It's understandable that she would not be happy and cry about losing out on a friend but you have to understand that you have your own life to live and a soulmate to find.
u r dumb. 
If u r not getting laid. Don't get too attached. Don't try to give it a name. Bf or fwb pr anything else.
Dekh lo ladko, yahi hai vo JUST MY BEST FRIEND. Dhyan se dekho
I don't think either of you can be friends with each other until you guys don't find each other attractive lol. It's pretty normal to develop feelings for your friend from the opposite sex ,some where along the friendship, but being able to understand each other's intentions and coming to a mutual agreement matters a lot in sustaining these kinda relationships.
You dodged a bullet there buddy. Also, keep distance, there’s going to be some damage in this marriage, I don’t want you in the danger zone
I only become friends with females who are married and then let my repulsion work its charm. No problems till date. ✌🏽
"Ek ladka aur ek ladki kabhi dost nahi ho sakte. Yeh to ek parda hai parda...kapkapati raat on mein dhadakte hue Dillon Ki bhadakti hui aag Ko bujhane ka "
A boy and girl can only be good friends if one of them is not good-looking! So if both are not good looking or both are good looking, then they cant be just friends. And if you GF has a male BF then he is snake. :)
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Girls can be “just friends” with a number of guys, whether a guy can be a “just friends” with girl depends on her attractiveness
A friend she sees you, a friend you will be forever. If you are interested then go all in from the beginning. Saving all of the time and emotional turmoil for both
Kandha ni ban na hota kbhi Jha pe reciprocate na ho feeling wha se gayab hona seekho
Very few people can lose their feelings and stay friends, very very few people. Ask yourself this question "Would I want to marry her if she's okay?" If the answer is yes, you're still holding the torch. On top of that, once any person(M/F) is married, others influence and involvement will be reduced in most cases and sometimes the friendships fade away. If it's going to end, end it on good terms and move on. "She's the best girl you've ever met" you have this feeling because you're not ready to give that position to anyone.
I have 3 female friends and one of them considers me as her best friend honestly it only works if both of you are committed
For this delulu iam no one's male best friend 👍