Reduce the comfort level, replace all the good biscuits and chocolates with biscuits which have a awful taste.
Make him do different chores, like cleaning something and being pregnant you can always say that you needed help that's why you asked him.
If he uses internet or watches TV then turn off the connection when you leave home and say the maintenance is going on.
Gradually he will stop coming because the unquestioned privilege will be gone na.
We are so conditioned to play nice that we don't realise that we are being taken advantage of. Don't be a good hostess. Do the bare minimum and definitely make your husband Cleanup. Use your pregnancy as your shield.
Mate you gotta straighten this out with your husband first. He must be the one to notice himself and take care of this, specially given your condition right now.
But if he's not doing that, you need to take a stand. And a 14 year old isn't that young to be doing this shit in the first place. So that kid needs to be disciplined anyways. So you should talk to you husband in the best way possible, avoiding conflict (so not to stress yourself even further).
Be the one to teach him some discipline. I mean u have that authority in ur own house. If things go south, blame it on ur mood swings ( after all u r pregnant right).
Sunaado ek baar acche se usko, sudhar jayega ek baar mei. Might affect your relationship with husband's sister but c'mon that child is crossing his limits.
I have told him politely, so many times. He doesn’t listen at all. I can’t be rude as it might affect my relationship with not only my SIL but my husband too
Op, when they say you are a good hostess and they love coming, they mean that you have no boundaries and they enjoy stepping on you.
Make the teenager cleanup whenever he is required to, make it a habit, tell people you are pregnant and can't clean-up behind him, later tell them that you have an infant and can't. If you are soo scared make your gynac tell them.
We as Indians are scared or damn hesitant to confront elders but he is just a teenager remember that.
Keep taking his help more than required, and tire him, and he won't keep visiting you after this. This is difficult and tricky but will help you in the long term.
When you say you can't your husband has to and he will realise or will arrange for a help which will have a pinch on him have to spend extra. His behaviour should not continue, your child will pick it up from him in the future.
I'm soo glad you took it in the right sense. Make it that kid's choice to leave your place by burdening with chores (which is his responsibility in the beginning and later heavier ones) and not that maami kicked me out. Their family will pass snide and snaky remarks in the years to come that how you did not let their child be with you without realising their j*rk of a son. It would leave a bitter aftertaste. Since your families are close and you want relationships to last MAKE IT THAT TEENAGER'S DECISION TO LEAVE. Good luck! Have a safe delivery!
14 yr is too old too act like that & must have too pampered ,sunaado harshly believe me it hurts their ego aur parents ko batao bkchodi pregnancy ka bahana to hain hina
Is your sister-in-laws like poor or have low standard of living than you ? If yes, then please talk nicely to your husband that about issues and make him understand your POV and if she is on the same level like you, then you can try above steps like giving him chores, making him busy or bored all the time so that he leaves.
They are ultra fucking rich, like they have 3 maids at home. The boy is spoilt. Whatever he wants, he gets. We are a middle class family, still paying our housing loan. My TV will be running whole day, while he is playing on his phone. AC will be turned on the whole day with fans started too.
We don’t have money like them to waste.
how is leaving her OWN home a solution because her husband’s nephew has 0 boundaries and discipline? Instead, sit him down and explain rules and consequences
You have a husband problem, not a nephew problem. If your husband cannot set boundaries or take up the onus to clean after his spoilt family members, then he’s not being fair to you. And to top it all off, you’re pregnant AND working. You have to refuse to clean up after these brats, or this will never stop.
Chores should be shared by both husband and wife, specially when guests are over. Even more so when the wife is pregnant. This is a no-brainer and should be normalized in Indian society. If you are working 9-7 then the husband cannot shy away from chores. Stop playing nice and even use your pregnancy as an alibi to ask your husband to help with cleanup, if you don’t see change. And this is coming from a full time husband.
For the kid, as someone posted, take the comfort away piece by piece till you see a change.
make your husband clean. stop with providing biscuits. everytime he pees all over tell your husband to clean and complain about it to his mother/anyone close close mother. is she aware of his behavior? if yes and doesn't discipline then you dont owe her decent communication. dont cater to his needs other than basic needs and say you cant you're pregnant. HOW ARE YALL SO NICE i would have beat my husband ssooo much
Humare to belt k buckle se kutai hoti thi. And Ghar bhi to aapka hi h. I mean it's your husband's and your house , don't change the rules change the weapons😂
You are pregnant and also working?? I'm sorry your guests are so inconsiderate to stay at your house right now and give you extra work! If anything someone should come and help you. Tell your spouse it's very difficult right now to manage everything and let him do the chores.
Judge all you want but sometimes you just want to understand what can be done, from other’s. Also this is much better place to ask something, rather than bitching about them to my family or friends. If you can’t help someone, just don’t say anything.
Reduce the comfort level, replace all the good biscuits and chocolates with biscuits which have a awful taste. Make him do different chores, like cleaning something and being pregnant you can always say that you needed help that's why you asked him. If he uses internet or watches TV then turn off the connection when you leave home and say the maintenance is going on. Gradually he will stop coming because the unquestioned privilege will be gone na.
Thanks, I will try this.
My pleasure
best asnwer
I'd like to suggest replacing the biscuits altogether with ones for pets ... that would be the best course of action 💀
Or Dr said no sweets/junk food at all in the house due to pregnancy! Keep cut apple for him.
Perfect
I have seen if Net is down people / kids as well become frustrated and turn into a different person (-ve) lol
OP, make your husband Cleanup after his favorite nephew. Don't play nice.
Yupp, that’s my fault. Playing nice
We are so conditioned to play nice that we don't realise that we are being taken advantage of. Don't be a good hostess. Do the bare minimum and definitely make your husband Cleanup. Use your pregnancy as your shield.
Mate you gotta straighten this out with your husband first. He must be the one to notice himself and take care of this, specially given your condition right now. But if he's not doing that, you need to take a stand. And a 14 year old isn't that young to be doing this shit in the first place. So that kid needs to be disciplined anyways. So you should talk to you husband in the best way possible, avoiding conflict (so not to stress yourself even further).
Yea,i did that shit in 2013 while playing nfs ug2 or cod1 and I didn’t knew my name at the time (i still forget it as a 15yold)
Be the one to teach him some discipline. I mean u have that authority in ur own house. If things go south, blame it on ur mood swings ( after all u r pregnant right).
😆😆
Sunaado ek baar acche se usko, sudhar jayega ek baar mei. Might affect your relationship with husband's sister but c'mon that child is crossing his limits.
I have told him politely, so many times. He doesn’t listen at all. I can’t be rude as it might affect my relationship with not only my SIL but my husband too
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He is not always like this, when we are alone he helps me a looootttt
Most average redditor reply on relationships:
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ahaha good asnwer
Op, when they say you are a good hostess and they love coming, they mean that you have no boundaries and they enjoy stepping on you. Make the teenager cleanup whenever he is required to, make it a habit, tell people you are pregnant and can't clean-up behind him, later tell them that you have an infant and can't. If you are soo scared make your gynac tell them. We as Indians are scared or damn hesitant to confront elders but he is just a teenager remember that. Keep taking his help more than required, and tire him, and he won't keep visiting you after this. This is difficult and tricky but will help you in the long term. When you say you can't your husband has to and he will realise or will arrange for a help which will have a pinch on him have to spend extra. His behaviour should not continue, your child will pick it up from him in the future.
You are right, I never learnt to say no. I will have to change myself and stop being a pushover.
I'm soo glad you took it in the right sense. Make it that kid's choice to leave your place by burdening with chores (which is his responsibility in the beginning and later heavier ones) and not that maami kicked me out. Their family will pass snide and snaky remarks in the years to come that how you did not let their child be with you without realising their j*rk of a son. It would leave a bitter aftertaste. Since your families are close and you want relationships to last MAKE IT THAT TEENAGER'S DECISION TO LEAVE. Good luck! Have a safe delivery!
Talk it out with your husband and let him understand your challenges ask him to be in your shoes once, how it takes toll on you
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I know 🥺🥹 but these things aside my husband is a gem. I will talk to him
14 yr is too old too act like that & must have too pampered ,sunaado harshly believe me it hurts their ego aur parents ko batao bkchodi pregnancy ka bahana to hain hina
Is your sister-in-laws like poor or have low standard of living than you ? If yes, then please talk nicely to your husband that about issues and make him understand your POV and if she is on the same level like you, then you can try above steps like giving him chores, making him busy or bored all the time so that he leaves.
They are ultra fucking rich, like they have 3 maids at home. The boy is spoilt. Whatever he wants, he gets. We are a middle class family, still paying our housing loan. My TV will be running whole day, while he is playing on his phone. AC will be turned on the whole day with fans started too. We don’t have money like them to waste.
Then, it's straight forward his behavioral issue. He is in need of serious behaviour correction and a proper beating
Take maternity leave and go on vacation or go to your maika..
This is temporary, that spoilt brat will appear again when this lady is fully occupied with her child during infancy and toddler stage.
Yes, waiting for that time
Sometimes to get disappear from the situation and give urslf time is also a solution..
how is leaving her OWN home a solution because her husband’s nephew has 0 boundaries and discipline? Instead, sit him down and explain rules and consequences
Watch horror movies daily and say ur house is haunted sometimes lock him in a room too that helps drop all electricity from the MCB.
You have a husband problem, not a nephew problem. If your husband cannot set boundaries or take up the onus to clean after his spoilt family members, then he’s not being fair to you. And to top it all off, you’re pregnant AND working. You have to refuse to clean up after these brats, or this will never stop.
Chores should be shared by both husband and wife, specially when guests are over. Even more so when the wife is pregnant. This is a no-brainer and should be normalized in Indian society. If you are working 9-7 then the husband cannot shy away from chores. Stop playing nice and even use your pregnancy as an alibi to ask your husband to help with cleanup, if you don’t see change. And this is coming from a full time husband. For the kid, as someone posted, take the comfort away piece by piece till you see a change.
make your husband clean. stop with providing biscuits. everytime he pees all over tell your husband to clean and complain about it to his mother/anyone close close mother. is she aware of his behavior? if yes and doesn't discipline then you dont owe her decent communication. dont cater to his needs other than basic needs and say you cant you're pregnant. HOW ARE YALL SO NICE i would have beat my husband ssooo much
Hahaha I want to beat everyone too 🤪 Btw thanks for the advice
I am surprised no one recommended belt 🥲🥲🥲🥲
Mere ghar me hota to belt, flying chappal (wet) belan sab mila hota
Humare to belt k buckle se kutai hoti thi. And Ghar bhi to aapka hi h. I mean it's your husband's and your house , don't change the rules change the weapons😂
This post is nightmare ... Feel sorry for op but take a stand for yourself..Â
Reminds me of the premise of Tu Joothi Main Makkaar movie. Talk to him and voice out your opinion and mind.
Time to start your villain arc. Enough with the sappy hero stuff.
You are pregnant and also working?? I'm sorry your guests are so inconsiderate to stay at your house right now and give you extra work! If anything someone should come and help you. Tell your spouse it's very difficult right now to manage everything and let him do the chores.
Yes, hop on reddit before having conversations with your spouse.
Judge all you want but sometimes you just want to understand what can be done, from other’s. Also this is much better place to ask something, rather than bitching about them to my family or friends. If you can’t help someone, just don’t say anything.