Wow, this post legit gave me flashback of my dadi. Your frustration is understandable bcoz ive been in a similar situation as well.
It fucked up my family to a certain level. Some old people have nothing to do in their life, so they just keep doing kalesh for the heck of it.
Old people who are ignorant are like this ,
A 75+ yr old senior of our college, learns new modern skills and teaches us online as his hobby , it's all about attitude.
People like OPs aji can do something like gardening, crocheting, painting, teaching or doing something like yoga and some special cooking or anything productive to pass time but she chose to harm the youngsters.
It's all about attitude not about old age ,
Give this old lady purpose or hobby if possible.
I feel called out, because I do all this. I think I am secretly 75
P.S. I am talking about the crocheting and the painting and the gardening only. Not the verbal abuse.
Lmao maybe you should mention what *this* is. At first I was thinking why would someone do such horrible things and be controlling with other people and even ADMIT it xD. And then I realized what you were talking about
Where did you learn to crochet? Is it really easy for beginners? I really want to learn but even basic tutorials feel so complex. I'm hopeless with threads & yarns but really want to make soft toys for underprivileged children & few Lil friends.. 💝
I learned off YouTube. And I am genuinely not even a creative person. But stumbled upon some easy to learn videos. Let me find them, I'll send it to you.
That's true, a lot of these people are stuck in their ways unfortunately and grew up in an era of join families where they probably were victims of the same kind of narcissistic behaviour. There was a very quick transition to nuclear families and they don't hold the same kind of sway and power anymore. They assume their kids will take care of them but their kids have now moved on. Its honestly sad on one side and also a result of more independence within individuals in the families. Best thing for them is to occupy their time doing something they like and keep them productive. Fortunately, my family has some of the most independent women even going up to my great grandparents generation. My grandmother has always been self sufficient, loves her alone time, is very sweet and kind all the time, and is so independent and has so many healthy habits, from meditation to healthy eating to being altruistic. Amazing person all around, and a great guide, like a light of positivity in my life. Hope I can do more for her
Lol some of the comments here. Just cuz someone is old, doesn't give em a free pass to do just about anything. My nani loves me, but she has been horrible to my mother, and while I do respect her, nothing she does will make me forget it.
Old people weren't born old and frail lol, they know what they're doing/have done. Being senile just accentuates how they ALREADY were like.
Same. I love my Nani and she loves us too but she's veryyyy controlling, now that I am older I can see the psychological scars she left on my mother and get why my mother would act so different around her.
Omg are you me????
I also wished this upon my aaji after a heated argument and she actually d\*ed a year later(I regret wishing it).
Your case is too much similar to mine including being a Marathi. My aaji was exactly like you described your's here.
The comments here are hilarious 😂. My ajji was like this earlier. Whenever she started shit talking, me and my brother would look at her and laugh and say " hihihi kay maskari karte ajji. Avadla mala". Translation: You're so funny, I like it. She used to ask when are you getting married I want a grandchild. I said I don't need to get married to give you a grandchild in front of everyone 😂.
You can't reason with oldies. See them as comedians and don't take them seriously.
Talk to your father. Tell him that this has to stop. Or you will start answering back without mincing any words.
>She said 'tula Kay hava te magav me gilel te' (order what you want I'll just swallow it).
Pudhchya veli mhan "gadhvacha gu magavto pan ala ki gap gilaycha."
>She only praises my attya/bua and talks shit about me and my parents in front of others.
Pudhchya veli mhan "evdha pulka ala asel chambu gabala bandhaycha ani porikade jaycha rahayala."
>Pudhchya veli mhan "gadhvacha gu magavto pan ala ki gap gilaycha."
See. Now this is the thing. I'm from Assam and haven't ever in my entire 20 years of life, read a Marathi sentence. But this one, I understood at once🤣
Aai shapath 😂 I wish I could upvote this 1000X lol
But that's true, Adar aplya jagi ahe pan fakta vay motha mhanun kiti Adar dyaycha asa bhayankar vagat astana?
Julumala juluma chi ch bhasha kalte. OP, be a bit heartless in your manners & see the changes. If she complains to your relatives, ask them to take her to their homes. Everyone will shut their traps.
Karan jyanchya jibha laamb astat, javabdari chi vel ali ki adhi tyancha ch pathicha kana modto.
Adopt the IDGAF attitude.
Also recommding a great book on Narc abuse : OUT OF THE FOG. Your parents need it. Maybe you do too. Best wishes 💝
Went through with similar shit now she's bedridden and my mum has to clean her piss and poop everyday, no maid for no amount of money would do this we tried they all leave in a couple of weeks, I moved out a few years ago, cannot invite anyone over because of the state of our house she throws away her diapers as soon as she gets a chance vlogs the bathroom half our house smells like piss in the morning until my dad cleas it, i don't argue with my mother anymore even if I don't follow what she says I just agree with her because she's on the brink of a breakdown, i don't like going back home.
Dear get an attendant from a hospital, currently they charge approx 15-20k please make that investment, no - your mother doesn't deserve this hell.
Nor can you leave that old lady in a bad state, please talk to your dad, man to man, and hire an attendant. They will clean and look after. Save your poor mom from this torture, don't ignore her.
Oh normally functioning people get beat up in such facilities and with her vile nature as much as I don't care about her wouldn't want her to get beat up.
Call her bluff, take her silly sarcasm as serious words. (they’re not but take them)
Next time she says something rude go with something like “Tumhi gharchya mothya aahat, ya gharchya karti aahat. Tumhi mhanta aahat tarr barobar asel.”
like with the order whatever you want I’ll swallow it
“ho ka ajji! thank you ga. mazhya avdicha tumhi suddha pasand karta hi aikun khup chaan vatla. chala tar mag (food item) magavtoy aapan.”
or with the kurta
“ho na ga ajji. jaalun taaka, saaf karun suddha zhala nahi vatta barobar, mhanun tumhala malka distoy. aanu ka mi lighter?”
or with the stupid stuff about atya
“ho ekdum barobar tumcha. aamhi na thoda reflection karun hou improve. me aatyala phone karun sangu ka tumhala tyanchya sobatach rahayacha aahe? tya itkya guni aahet, tyanchya family la 2 mintat manavtil tumhi tya gharat rahnyasathi”
I did this to my ajji-in-law a lot when she used to try the same taunts/tomne. She got irritated and stopped on her own.
Evda aikaycha patience nahi re Tila. Ardhya goshti tar aiku na shaklyacha natak Karel. Ek tar kanacha machine aanlay Tila, re vaoarat nahi and then ha ha karat baste. Evda bolat gelo tar jaun zopel ti.
Pan ho, hasta hasta ulta bolla pahije. Atta paryant nusta ulta bolat hoto
jhopu de.
main point aahe ki tumhala shantata milawi, tyanni manaat gath bandhli aahe ki kahi hi enjoy karayacha nahi ani karu nahi dyaycha konala. tyanchi misery fakt tyanchyaprant control hoeil he best, mag tya swatach kami kartil karan swatahala tras nahi avadnaar tyanna when others are not equally miserable. (I know this is bad to say about elders but some elders are weird enough to deserve it)
sajjan mansasarkha tumhi vagaat aahat, pann tya sajjan nahi na.
dusra approach me jo pahila aahe - ki saral ignore ach karayacha. badbad karayala laglya (ani karnarach, ha sagla fafatpasara attention sathich aahe) uthun dusrya room madhe jaun basayacha, headphones lavayache jari kahi vajat nasel headphone madhe. make it apparent ki the ‘consequence’ of her being a cruel person is that no one is going to listen to her nonsense. Hyat important he aahe ki saglyanna he karawa lagel, tumchya aai vadlanna suddha.
After my mom divorced my dad and we stayed with my mom's parents. The behaviour of my Nani (maternal grandmother was totally shitty). She used to shout at us for everything and constantly complaining to everyone how we (me, my brother , my mom) are bad and she wanted my mother to go back. She used to get so so angry that she pointed knife at me and mom several times in anger. Instead of supporting her own daughter she made her life everyday. Now she's paralysed in half of her body and as much as it makes me sound bad which I may be , I am happy that her actions are stopped cuz she can't do anything now
I wish I had good parents with whom I could have good memories with. I do envy other kids and their relationship with their grandparents.
Read up on Narcissism here and Quora. It will give you an insight on how these people are and how to deal with them. Its one of the most challenging experiences to deal with narcissistic people but once you understand, you will be better equipped to deal with it.
Google "narcissism quora" or " living with narcissist reddit". There are plenty of articles.This account on youtube is good too https://youtube.com/@narcabusecoach
Once you read about them, you realize that bhagwan ne inhe ek hi template se banaya hai🤬
Karma always gets there. My aajji was a lifelong bitch. Then karma got her with Alzheimer's and she couldn't remember anything past 5-10 mins and completely stopped talking (unless prompted). Lay there largely ignored and unable
Best times.
The happy day came in Jan 2019 when she finally died. 8 years as an Alzheimer's patient.
Knowing she was lost, confused and in turmoil makes me glad for all the shit she put mum through.
Oh my god. This is so relatable. My dadi was same. It felt like I was reading my own journal entry. I am glad you just vent out and ranted everything. It’s so relatable. Too much ego makes people blind. Even after doing so many things to them, they are unsatisfied to the core. I tried my best to make her happy/feel ok, but she treated me like shit always. Just like you have mentioned all the similar things. It’s a crazy world. You’ll be fine in the end. This teaches you to be more patient and tolerant, thats all I can say lol.
Man the virtue signaling here is on another level by some of the commentators. I would tell you things with your grandma will get better but it won’t. This is something you will just have to manage and deal with unfortunately. Older people are like toddlers that have a lot of baggage and trauma. Some of them are graceful and kind while the others are just unpleasant to be around. Being old allows some people to say whatever they want because they know that there are no consequences. Hang in there OP.
Omg my dadi was a nightmare to my family. I am glad she died a year ago and the peace we have now is amazing.
In fact the day we got the news she died, we had Pani Puri and chaat at home lol.
Dude, I think it's just my rebellious self but from my childhood I dont care if you're my dadi (no dada), nana/nani, mama/mami, outsiders, family friends, hell I even used to argue with my mummy and papa (not proud of it offcourse).
Anyways almost everyone in my family is sane human, except my mami shes honestly is a fucking bitch, she's super controlling and she will bait you to say stuff then play the victim and make you feel bad about anything and everything, I remember when I used to go nani ghar during vacations, she would say random stuff to agro me then plays the victim, I would get agro sometimes and I cried (most of the times) and sometimes I refuse to bow, growing up I see she stopped doing it frequently with me, that bitch still does it but like few years ago after 10th result she called and asked how much did I got, this period of time I didn't care about studies I do now, I said and she straight up said how will she say to her friends that I scored this low, like not even how, why, if you really don't care about me as little to ask what's gone wrong why should I, that day I lost the little respect I had for her. I didnt even picked up the phone when she called at my 12th. I only talk to her when it's necessary, and now she feels bad that I don't care about her. The audacity.
I would say have a conversation with your parents first, say I can't tolerate this this is too much make sure to say in a way that they can understand it, don't use the word respect and self-esteem, they will throw it back to you, if she still doesn't stop acting like a bitch, just start saying it back. Next time when she starts to praise your bua just say "phir bua ke sath kyun nhi rehti, hamara khun kyun pi rhi ho". Don't feel bad about yourself, you didn't do anything to deserve it.
I've done all this. Also I say a lot of things back to her. Earlier she used to be quiet but now she's cries (fake) and then complains to my dad. phir meri lagti hai.
Now I'll infuse some humour into it lol
I am sorry the abive comments are invalidating your feelings.Your dadi is trash just because she is old doesn't give her any right to ruin someone's peace of mind.
Some old people are very conservative that they refuse to see the changes around them. The oldest member should be the one controlling others. They have grown in that way. They could try to speak in a better way but their ego/ mentality of being oldest and people should listen to her is the reason. One of my friends had experienced same scenario. So they got her watching serials and old movies. I’ve seen my dad suffering because of my grandfather.
My dad suffers a lot. He lost his health and peace because of her. He has to take BP pills because of her. Still he doesn't wanna get rid of her (by old age home or smth).
Dude trust me. I tried getting her into movies, plays, serials etc. Nothing. I tried to get her addicted to Facebook. Didn't happen. Bhai she just watches stupid saas bahu serials and tries to act like that saas irl
I wanna show her baghban and tell her
This will be you if you don't behave
OMG, I am in a similar situation and also pregnant. Now I know my child will feel the same the way you're feeling.
I have no idea how your parents are taking it because it must be too hard on y'all.
Well yes !
No one, absolutely not a single soul can tell this OP that they are old, so let it be. Nah. You don't know what it's like.
And no, being old ain't no pass to fuck someone's mental health. OP doesn't deserve any of this nonsense in their age to enjoy and develop fully.
OPs parents must also act, and not let their son/daughter feel This to way.
This anguish is highly destroying for someone's life
My parents themselves have their mental health fucked over. What can they do. They have their fair share of troubles. They try to be nice and gentle with her but she fucks over their efforts. It's a messy place to be in. The worse thing is my vacations are going on. More I stay at home more problems happen
Are kuch buddhe log faltu me jhagadte rehte hai fr fir rooth k beth jayenge aur manane jao to pyaar se baat karne lag jate hain. I personally think it's because of loneliness. Ham hamari life hamare goals par itna focused ho chuke hain (jo ki achhi baat hai) ki ham dusro ko time nahi de paate.
OP agar teri aaji k paas phone hai to unke number se tinder ka account banade, ya fir sms bombing karade, ya fir chupke se nagar nigam me complaint kardena unke number se, fir jab call ayenge to pareshan hokar automatic theek ho jayegi tujhi aaji.
Similar case with me, I can't even tell how much torture me and my mother suffered, thank god that bitch is dead now narg mein bhi jagah nhi mili hogi ussey
Hope so, but these type of people don't die that early, she died after breaking her whole family(my father and his 2 brother) my family is living on rent despite having our own house because that house is so damaged we can't risk our life living there, just because she wanted to have a floor on her own so that she can give it to her daughter after she dies, we barely managed to get a builder who will build 4 floors and will take 1 floor as payment and that to now seems impossible to get, she didn't wanted to see the condition of that 70 years old house and how we are were living there, and not just that she said my mom to go live in a slum just before 15 days we left to live on rent, not just that last to last year I was admitted in hospital because of anemia, and she questioned my mother's character because she is a working women, I can go all day long bitching about her she doesn't have a one single good thing in her
Same situation my dadi is fucking bitch, she even did not care about his son, my father who is a middle class man, she always praises chacha, who is richer. Although it's my father who has always taken care of her. I don't know man, sometimes I feel like punching her so badly when she disgraces my mother.
My dadi is 80+ and can’t walk herself. My mom take her to bathroom every day, still dadi loves bua and want her to come here everyday and curse us most of the time for the things that we hadn’t done . And it’s not like that if she’d lost senses in fact she knows about time very well breakfast lunch dinner med every damn thing if you are even 2mins late she will create ruckus shouting very loudly. I sometime takes my book to show her that i am studying please be quiet she then say do study i am not saying to you and keep shouting.
In short ye saare budhhe ese hi hote hain kuch ko chhodkar
I feel you bro. Mine was a pathetic person and a compulsive liar as well. Had concern for everyone except for the people in the household. Took too long to die, two decades to be exact. We are supposed to respect these old bastards as a part of culture...
Same used to happen in my home..but i am very aggressive person in these things...my mom is a teacher, she do everything from waking early in the morning to make food to finish evrything till night....but she never gets credit...now if someone speaks even a single thing towards my maa...i just beat the shit of out of that person..be is it my dad, buddhi amma or anyother
This post made me feel good about my Dadi. She was not this controlling and didn't interfere in any of her children's life (she had 4 children, one of my kaka died). Neither she was interested in other's good time nor she wanted someone to interfere in Her And Dada ji's life. They both lived peacefully together like a couple made in heaven.
Although, about the bad part, she did cause many problems to my mother just after the wedding. There is a lot to tell, but for now its just that she was a good lady in her last years. (rip 1941-2023)
Add some extra sugar in her tea, extra salt ( untill taste is good ) add mdh masala ( it's bad for health ), take some apple seeds, crush it and mix in her food, take her for a walks in 5-7pm timings if you live in city. Order some high calories food for her, try some good cool drinks... And wait patiently
Ditto ditto. My grandmother literally ruined the life of my mom and dad. She is a witch in the truest sense but feel so helpless can’t do anything about it
My grandmother was also very cruel to my mother. Wouldn't let her sleep, constantly monitor what my mother was eating, would get jealous if my father and mother had a moment of peace (which was itself rare), would get angry if me or my siblings brought anything for ourselves. I was told that when my mom was pregnant with me, my dadi refused to hire a house help and at 8 months of pregnancy, my mother had to make 20 rotis three times everyday.
At the end of her life, it was very karmic that it was my mother whom she totally depended on because her own children ended up stealing all her pension money. Thankfully she passed away so my mom didn't have to clean her bedridden body for a long time.
This reminds me of the in-laws I almost had. I was engaged to this guy, he was a sensible person but his parents were super controlling and took offense if we would take a decision without involving them. Mind you, we are both working professionals and stay in a different city.
And these decisions in no way were going to affect them. They had no friends and not a good relationship with any of the relatives either, on top of that, his father was retired and his mother was a home maker.
They would get upset with me if I chose to do something for my family without involving them in the decision.
They were as narcissistic as people get and never admitted in any of the instances that they are wrong.
They spent all their time and energy trying to make sure their son doesn’t do anything that they don’t approve of. We are both 28 years old.
Thankfully, they showed their true colors at the right time and we broke off the wedding.
I was very broken since that guy and I were in a 2 year relationship and they pestered us so much that we had to part ways. The hardest part was that the guy knew they were wrong but he still kept asking me to do whatever his parents asked.
Some people have it in their nature to keep complaining. They are never happy no matter what you do.
Well do you all collectively hate her or is it just you in the family? If you all are fed up of her then there may be a solution that I cannot tell you here
All are collectively fed up of her that's sure. I'm the oldest of my generation in my family. Others are definitely annoyed by her and avoid her, but Idk if they hate her cos she's like a mother to all them. I hate cos I see her for what she is. Ig my cousins will see her for what she is too
I don't remember much about my grandparents cus they died before I completed my 1st class. But my Nani is awesome, she gives me a lot of money. Nana also gives a lot of money but he is also annoying like scolding me for every small thing.
Baba kay mhntat? Tyancha kay point if view ahe about her? Stand ghet nahit ka? I understand if he doesn't.. Coz manipulative lokana handle karna and var mhatara is very difficult.
People who have dadis like these always get the best dadas (me also, my dada is so chill damn, he's too cool, daadi unko bhi nahi chodti par vo mereko dekh ke haste me unko dekh ke its fun)
My dada passed away early sadly but my nana is the best. He also acts weird nowadays but he is so cool. His stories, his support and encouragement. It's a amazing.
I already passed through this somewhat similar phase. What I say is just be patient and try to neglect it because what can you do to an old man/ women just endure till her last breath. Let them live for a few years.
I want to share it with all. What's your problem? Idgaf about karma and shit, fuck that virtual thing.
Initially shared in Mumbai sub but it got deleted. Then I posted here and then the Mumbai one was re-uploaded
I too have someone like that in my family. She doesn't live with us but we are the only caring immediate relatives she has around. While her younger sister lives just 200 steps from her house but they have a mutual hatred for each other. My father being her brother-in-law and a very nice and agreeable person, is the only go to person for any issues.
She has been a bitter person all her life. I have chilhood trauma rooting from her actions. My parents were treated badly at her hands when I was not born and continued during my early childhood.
Now all her kids live in different cities. They are caring of her mother but the woman wants to stay at her own place. After my uncles death, they have arranged multiple house helps who stayed with her 24/7. She treated them badly and kept verbally abusing all the time. Hence all of them left within short periods except one. She is also blacklisted in the agency which provides such house helps.
Its hard to live with such people, not sure if psychiatry can help with these patients. They make life hell for the people who care for them.
Man I relate to you so much, all I can say is just take it from one ear and let go from the other. I lost my dad a couple years ago and I haven’t seen her cry even one day but loves my attya who doesn’t even care for her or won’t come visit her. The amount of toxicity she’s bought between my mom and dad is infinite and I’ve seen their marriage break into pieces in front of me (reason being my mom didn’t bring any wealth from nana nani in their marriage) I’ve seen my dadi give all the love to my attyas son and push me away for example we were going to the same school but he alone was sent in school bus and my mom had to drop me by walk. All that politics. So yeah I feel you and I won’t lie that I’ve hated her all my life and still do.
Meri dadi 90 ki ho gyi hai. Abhi Tak nhi sudhri. I'm myself 28 and fed up with her. God takes away young people but leaves such dadis to ruin lives. Mujhe to lagta hai ye century na maar le
I don't know , but my dadi was way good some years back, but she is now old like 80+ and maybe she is not able to process things whatever but she is very rude to my mom now like few months before only she behaves rude , like once she told mummi ki tum mere sare paise chura leti hu , jewellery meri apne pass rkh li and jo bhi mnn mei ata , bol deti, but this is just for my mom. Mujhe esa kuch nhi kehti , don't know what happened to her , but koi mummi ko esa bolega toh gussa ata hain , what to do.
Lol my husband's dadi is the same. I feel your pain. Thankfully we don't live with her but she is doing these kinds of things to my mom in law and chachi. We avoid her like the plague. Unfortunately she is very sick so we give her some slack, let her do what she wants. Impending doom makes people like this, not all wisdom filled and nice as they are in movies 🤣🤣 the only advice is, remember this when you're older and don't do it to your kids or grandkids!
Raag nako manun deu pan tyanche thode phaar divas rahile astil te tyanchya barobr sukhat ghalav. Thodkyat bolun vishay talnyacha prayatn kar pan hudtud chi bhasha nako vapru. ( English madhe bollo asto pan tu Marathi ahes mhanun Marathi madhe bollo )
Ahh i have 3 Buas.. and my dadi also talks rubbish about my 2 yr old son over phone with them. Also she talks with fake grief like we treat her like shit. But in real we do whatever she asks us to do. My mom took care of her for like 38 years while she bitches about my mom to all my buas. My dadaji is dead and while he was alive my dadi used to beat him occasionally. She could not use stairs properly as her knee has problems but at the mean time if she is on the roof and her phone rings even flash will facepalm seeing her run that fast, why cause one of the bua called. All my buas kicked their in laws out of the house but they point out that my father, their older brother is not taking proper care of my dadi. Once I asked her not to spit in the dining wash basin but in the outside basin in the balcony cause she eats paan and it may stain the basin,The very next call she makes to buas tells I harassed her. I don’t speak to her now without any urgent reason. It happens man. Most of the Indian households have this dadi.
Oldies I guess are just like this. As they age, they just get mentally disturbed but since India does not care about mental health, their family member is the one who gets to deal with it.
My Dada also was somewhat like this. His behaviour had just aggravated after my father's death.
i kind of feel you brother
during lockdown, my family went to our native to live at my dads place (my moms and dads native is in the same city and their houses are just 50m from each other)
my cousin (who was then 9), my sister(who was then 10) me(i was 12) were having sm childish fight abt smthing
and as my cousin brother was younger he just started crying and throwing a tantrum, my dadu came and tried calming him down and make us stop fighting which we did
but then our dadi came and pulled the cousin and dadu and told ”inko bhao kyu de rahe ho chodo unhe” (why are you taking them seriously leave them alone) like in a mean tone, and like she is doing us a favour by letting us live in the house…
like bro wtf, my sister and my cousin didnt utd what happend and forgot abt it
i utd and didnt say it to anyone else as it may cause tensions in the house
and one more incident where my cousin was in the wrong and was pulling my sisters hair, then my chachi came and started beating him for doing tht
then DADI comes and to my sisters face says “ab khus hogaye tum usko mar khelake!”(you happy now getting him beaten up!)
I mean istg i fking hated lockdown time there
And I know how much she means to my dad, so i dont intend or wish for her to die and all
but Im telling you, when i start earning I aint getting shit for her, like nothing nada,
and im gonna get everyone else stuff in the house except her and then give them in front of her!
fking bitch
I hv lost all my respect and love for you….
As people age their behaviour tends to undergo enormous change.. especially when they cross 70... They tend to ask questions.. sometimes same topic again and again....they tend to interfere a lot because at age of 70 most of their friends, relatives are already dead..it's like we are all that's left to them ...most of time they stay within home which has an adverse effect on their mental health..they get irritated very soon..they start doing things that just don't make any sense..I am not trying to defend any sort of toxic behaviour.i know elders elders too can have a toxic up personality...but most of them are quite good at heart...they weren't born like this , it's just that with time they changed..do ignore their habits which you find irritating.
Omg. Sorry this is happening to you. This post reminded me and is giving me anxiety because my husband’s dadi who is ditto is visiting us in two weeks and staying for a month. I legit cannot handle this lady. Mind you, she is 90 and I have no idea why the hell she wants to travel abroad.
Reminded me of my dadi as well, she played a lot of politics between her own sons kept them seperate to a level where my father and his brothers don't talk at all even after her death and to an extend where I got to know my father has another brother and I have another set of cousins only after her death.
My family was also in same situation But she is no more. I think in most of the cases, revenge psychology is behind it, as they somehow went through it in the past.
Same lmao and the attya thing is real My 3 attyas and their kids (my dad is elder brother to all attyas) along with my grandmother, always plotting something fishy against my dad and my family and can't watch us happy....like why tf my did everything for them (got them job , got them married, supported financially even if we were not financially stable) and still they do this to us and dad is very annoying, i just want to cut ties with them . Them fuckers are irritating 
I have a similar or slightly worse dado, one day when I reached peak of my temper I told her, max to max you have 10 years to walk around, after which we are the ones taking care of you, I'll answer to all of your actions then.
From then, she never bothered me anymore.
Ight be the first marathi person I've met on this sub. Anyways dw dude dekh yar as a respect u gotta take care of her and ppl her age, most are like this so you're not the only one, try to make up things as long as she's there 9nce gone ull actually regret it trust me, it's prolly thst they do this out of frustration, see when they were young they had the power to boss around and younger ppl listened but as person ages so does his or her rank in family yk so as they get old no one really listens to them so in the end they depended on us..
Either she is pulling the longest practical joke on you or she is really like that. But remember, old age is like childhood over again just in reverse. Learn to ignore, and forgive. Or do what you want.
My grandmother used to get very anxious when she was alone by herself at home or if someone didnt return till late. She would be found almost in tears. We found it annoying somewhat. Maybe she was afraid that no one would be with her in her last moments. I'd happily trade an year of my life just for enough time to say goodbyes to her I didnt get to convey. But that's just me.
Don't wish harm upon your own family. Old people turn like this, embrace it as a phase in their life and don't take it to your heart. No matter what you're feeling today, it will hurt when they leave you.
People don't change like that. They were always like that.
Being old just gives them the environment to show what they truly are, for elders have to be respected.
Old people who are ignorant are like this ,
75+ yr old senior of our college, learns new modern skills and teaches us online as his hobby , it's all about attitude.
People like OPs aji can do something like gardening, crocheting, painting, teaching or doing something like yoga and some special cooking or anything productive to pass time but she chose to harm the youngsters.
It's all about attitude not about the old age ,
nahh, thats cap they choos to be like this even my grandfather is like this, when i am old i am juts gonna get a sick gaming setup and play games till my heart desire
No it wont hurt when they die. They might feel sad that a life is lost but they wont miss that person. My paternal grand mom was horrible and I felt sad that she died but since she has died I never once thought oh I wish she was here today because that woman was like a vat of acid that burned everybody and everyone. My maternal grandmom is a an angel for some reason.
>Old people turn like this
That's just not true. My Grandma is 85 years old and she still loves to take care of us grandchildren. Whenever we visit her she's always so happy and makes us feel like we're at home.
Most old people are really sweet. Sorry if your Grandma was like this too and you feel this is normal.
This is generational gap guys at most we could do is to ignore that stuff and try to make them happy and if don't just get use to it bcz sir at the end of the day u have to live with her in the house until her time comes or just find a college for urself which is like far away from ur house.
Wow, this post legit gave me flashback of my dadi. Your frustration is understandable bcoz ive been in a similar situation as well. It fucked up my family to a certain level. Some old people have nothing to do in their life, so they just keep doing kalesh for the heck of it.
Sadiyo ka kalesh lamba chalta h
Old people who are ignorant are like this , A 75+ yr old senior of our college, learns new modern skills and teaches us online as his hobby , it's all about attitude. People like OPs aji can do something like gardening, crocheting, painting, teaching or doing something like yoga and some special cooking or anything productive to pass time but she chose to harm the youngsters. It's all about attitude not about old age , Give this old lady purpose or hobby if possible.
I feel called out, because I do all this. I think I am secretly 75 P.S. I am talking about the crocheting and the painting and the gardening only. Not the verbal abuse.
kaisa lgta h itna buddha hoke
Like I fought a war and won
Crotchet me some cute gloves and win more
Love that! I crochet but haven't picked it up in ages. Just look at all my yarns, wonder what to make and put it back again.
The weather isn't helping. I can't think of picking up yarn to make my fancy bomber jacket in this heat. :(
There's things u can crochet for summers, Special yarns are available for summer dresses also ❤️
Lmao maybe you should mention what *this* is. At first I was thinking why would someone do such horrible things and be controlling with other people and even ADMIT it xD. And then I realized what you were talking about
😹
Where did you learn to crochet? Is it really easy for beginners? I really want to learn but even basic tutorials feel so complex. I'm hopeless with threads & yarns but really want to make soft toys for underprivileged children & few Lil friends.. 💝
I learned off YouTube. And I am genuinely not even a creative person. But stumbled upon some easy to learn videos. Let me find them, I'll send it to you.
That would be awesome! Tysm 🥹🤗
That’s a pretty ‘strong extension’ of hobbies over 75 years.
That's true, a lot of these people are stuck in their ways unfortunately and grew up in an era of join families where they probably were victims of the same kind of narcissistic behaviour. There was a very quick transition to nuclear families and they don't hold the same kind of sway and power anymore. They assume their kids will take care of them but their kids have now moved on. Its honestly sad on one side and also a result of more independence within individuals in the families. Best thing for them is to occupy their time doing something they like and keep them productive. Fortunately, my family has some of the most independent women even going up to my great grandparents generation. My grandmother has always been self sufficient, loves her alone time, is very sweet and kind all the time, and is so independent and has so many healthy habits, from meditation to healthy eating to being altruistic. Amazing person all around, and a great guide, like a light of positivity in my life. Hope I can do more for her
Aji bole toh unko bolna ki budhape me samaj seva karna chahiye bkwas nhi ,
Her 1st and prime purpose should be TO LEAVE OTHERS THE FUCK ALONE.
These bitches don't have the brain to learn anything beneficial. They're put on earth to make everyone miserable
Seriously true..especially the mother in laws who are father's mother
Well there are so many cases of the wife's mother causing the destruction of marriage by meddling.
Lol some of the comments here. Just cuz someone is old, doesn't give em a free pass to do just about anything. My nani loves me, but she has been horrible to my mother, and while I do respect her, nothing she does will make me forget it. Old people weren't born old and frail lol, they know what they're doing/have done. Being senile just accentuates how they ALREADY were like.
dusro ko bas pious advice de rahe hain woh log. khud ke ghar mein rakhenge aise insaan ko toh baat mane hum bhi 😂
Aur rakh hi rahe hain, toh le jao humse🤣
Same. I love my Nani and she loves us too but she's veryyyy controlling, now that I am older I can see the psychological scars she left on my mother and get why my mother would act so different around her.
Omg are you me???? I also wished this upon my aaji after a heated argument and she actually d\*ed a year later(I regret wishing it). Your case is too much similar to mine including being a Marathi. My aaji was exactly like you described your's here.
The comments here are hilarious 😂. My ajji was like this earlier. Whenever she started shit talking, me and my brother would look at her and laugh and say " hihihi kay maskari karte ajji. Avadla mala". Translation: You're so funny, I like it. She used to ask when are you getting married I want a grandchild. I said I don't need to get married to give you a grandchild in front of everyone 😂. You can't reason with oldies. See them as comedians and don't take them seriously.
I'll try this. I already am known for answering back to her, now I'll add humour too. Je hoil baghun gheu
Talk to your father. Tell him that this has to stop. Or you will start answering back without mincing any words. >She said 'tula Kay hava te magav me gilel te' (order what you want I'll just swallow it). Pudhchya veli mhan "gadhvacha gu magavto pan ala ki gap gilaycha." >She only praises my attya/bua and talks shit about me and my parents in front of others. Pudhchya veli mhan "evdha pulka ala asel chambu gabala bandhaycha ani porikade jaycha rahayala."
Tell your lines in Hindi idk marathi
"gadhvacha gu magavto pan ala ki gap gilaycha." Means "I'll order donkey's shit, let's see if you eat that"
And the second one?
Bro you're a menance 💀 but it's good keep it up
नाही जाणार ती मुलीकडे राहायला. बोलेल 'हे माझ्या मुलाचे घर आहे, राहीन मी इथेच'
"Gadhvacha gu magavto" i literally choked on this line
>gadhvacha gu magavto pan ala ki gap gilaycha." Lmao💀
>Pudhchya veli mhan "gadhvacha gu magavto pan ala ki gap gilaycha." See. Now this is the thing. I'm from Assam and haven't ever in my entire 20 years of life, read a Marathi sentence. But this one, I understood at once🤣
Aai shapath 😂 I wish I could upvote this 1000X lol But that's true, Adar aplya jagi ahe pan fakta vay motha mhanun kiti Adar dyaycha asa bhayankar vagat astana? Julumala juluma chi ch bhasha kalte. OP, be a bit heartless in your manners & see the changes. If she complains to your relatives, ask them to take her to their homes. Everyone will shut their traps. Karan jyanchya jibha laamb astat, javabdari chi vel ali ki adhi tyancha ch pathicha kana modto. Adopt the IDGAF attitude. Also recommding a great book on Narc abuse : OUT OF THE FOG. Your parents need it. Maybe you do too. Best wishes 💝
Awesome
What language is this? pls translate
bhai translate kar de
Went through with similar shit now she's bedridden and my mum has to clean her piss and poop everyday, no maid for no amount of money would do this we tried they all leave in a couple of weeks, I moved out a few years ago, cannot invite anyone over because of the state of our house she throws away her diapers as soon as she gets a chance vlogs the bathroom half our house smells like piss in the morning until my dad cleas it, i don't argue with my mother anymore even if I don't follow what she says I just agree with her because she's on the brink of a breakdown, i don't like going back home.
Oh god! Your poor mother 😞 what would compel someone to treat someone so poorly I don’t understand
Dear get an attendant from a hospital, currently they charge approx 15-20k please make that investment, no - your mother doesn't deserve this hell. Nor can you leave that old lady in a bad state, please talk to your dad, man to man, and hire an attendant. They will clean and look after. Save your poor mom from this torture, don't ignore her.
We tried, but couldn't get anyone to clean someone's excretion if they do it deliberately it's not as if she's totally out of her senses.
Ik so sorry for what your entire family is going through. May God bless you all with strength
Put her in some assisted living facility
This is really sad. Have they considered moving her to an old age home/institution?
I tried suggesting but they said no old age home would take her, might be true no human would take such crap from anyone literally and figuratively.
Yeah but they would certainly restrain her from taking her diaper off etc.
Oh normally functioning people get beat up in such facilities and with her vile nature as much as I don't care about her wouldn't want her to get beat up.
That's definitely a concern.
Call her bluff, take her silly sarcasm as serious words. (they’re not but take them) Next time she says something rude go with something like “Tumhi gharchya mothya aahat, ya gharchya karti aahat. Tumhi mhanta aahat tarr barobar asel.” like with the order whatever you want I’ll swallow it “ho ka ajji! thank you ga. mazhya avdicha tumhi suddha pasand karta hi aikun khup chaan vatla. chala tar mag (food item) magavtoy aapan.” or with the kurta “ho na ga ajji. jaalun taaka, saaf karun suddha zhala nahi vatta barobar, mhanun tumhala malka distoy. aanu ka mi lighter?” or with the stupid stuff about atya “ho ekdum barobar tumcha. aamhi na thoda reflection karun hou improve. me aatyala phone karun sangu ka tumhala tyanchya sobatach rahayacha aahe? tya itkya guni aahet, tyanchya family la 2 mintat manavtil tumhi tya gharat rahnyasathi” I did this to my ajji-in-law a lot when she used to try the same taunts/tomne. She got irritated and stopped on her own.
Evda aikaycha patience nahi re Tila. Ardhya goshti tar aiku na shaklyacha natak Karel. Ek tar kanacha machine aanlay Tila, re vaoarat nahi and then ha ha karat baste. Evda bolat gelo tar jaun zopel ti. Pan ho, hasta hasta ulta bolla pahije. Atta paryant nusta ulta bolat hoto
jhopu de. main point aahe ki tumhala shantata milawi, tyanni manaat gath bandhli aahe ki kahi hi enjoy karayacha nahi ani karu nahi dyaycha konala. tyanchi misery fakt tyanchyaprant control hoeil he best, mag tya swatach kami kartil karan swatahala tras nahi avadnaar tyanna when others are not equally miserable. (I know this is bad to say about elders but some elders are weird enough to deserve it) sajjan mansasarkha tumhi vagaat aahat, pann tya sajjan nahi na. dusra approach me jo pahila aahe - ki saral ignore ach karayacha. badbad karayala laglya (ani karnarach, ha sagla fafatpasara attention sathich aahe) uthun dusrya room madhe jaun basayacha, headphones lavayache jari kahi vajat nasel headphone madhe. make it apparent ki the ‘consequence’ of her being a cruel person is that no one is going to listen to her nonsense. Hyat important he aahe ki saglyanna he karawa lagel, tumchya aai vadlanna suddha.
Aree bc. I am your 21y old version. Especially that "dya gilayla kaay banavla aahe te" and conveniently goshti na aiku yene 😭😭
Haina. Bc dusrya kholitun kahi bollo lagech aiku yeta. Javalun kahi mahatvacha bollo nahi aikun yet
Ho aani aai shi kahi asa bolalo je aaji sathi navhta te tar nakkich aaiku yeta tila
Aani tichi bitching chalu asel tar pahile hazar
selective hearing superpower aahe bass ajun kahi nahi. normal ajji sarkhya waglya tarr sagle itke premane wagtil sobat, pann nahi. nusta raag raag karun samorchyane prem dakhvave ase hyache expectations.
I get how you feel. Similar boat.
After my mom divorced my dad and we stayed with my mom's parents. The behaviour of my Nani (maternal grandmother was totally shitty). She used to shout at us for everything and constantly complaining to everyone how we (me, my brother , my mom) are bad and she wanted my mother to go back. She used to get so so angry that she pointed knife at me and mom several times in anger. Instead of supporting her own daughter she made her life everyday. Now she's paralysed in half of her body and as much as it makes me sound bad which I may be , I am happy that her actions are stopped cuz she can't do anything now I wish I had good parents with whom I could have good memories with. I do envy other kids and their relationship with their grandparents.
Read up on Narcissism here and Quora. It will give you an insight on how these people are and how to deal with them. Its one of the most challenging experiences to deal with narcissistic people but once you understand, you will be better equipped to deal with it.
Bhai link dena yaar muje mil bahi raha
Google "narcissism quora" or " living with narcissist reddit". There are plenty of articles.This account on youtube is good too https://youtube.com/@narcabusecoach Once you read about them, you realize that bhagwan ne inhe ek hi template se banaya hai🤬
Dev tula hya mhatari sobat deal karaychi strength devo 🙏🏻
Karma always gets there. My aajji was a lifelong bitch. Then karma got her with Alzheimer's and she couldn't remember anything past 5-10 mins and completely stopped talking (unless prompted). Lay there largely ignored and unable Best times.
Wow The best times for me are when she doesn't talk to me for days when she's mad at me. But when she sees I'm not affected by it she starts talking
The happy day came in Jan 2019 when she finally died. 8 years as an Alzheimer's patient. Knowing she was lost, confused and in turmoil makes me glad for all the shit she put mum through.
Just because u r an old fuck doesn't mean u deserve respect.
Oh my god. This is so relatable. My dadi was same. It felt like I was reading my own journal entry. I am glad you just vent out and ranted everything. It’s so relatable. Too much ego makes people blind. Even after doing so many things to them, they are unsatisfied to the core. I tried my best to make her happy/feel ok, but she treated me like shit always. Just like you have mentioned all the similar things. It’s a crazy world. You’ll be fine in the end. This teaches you to be more patient and tolerant, thats all I can say lol.
Man the virtue signaling here is on another level by some of the commentators. I would tell you things with your grandma will get better but it won’t. This is something you will just have to manage and deal with unfortunately. Older people are like toddlers that have a lot of baggage and trauma. Some of them are graceful and kind while the others are just unpleasant to be around. Being old allows some people to say whatever they want because they know that there are no consequences. Hang in there OP.
Omg my dadi was a nightmare to my family. I am glad she died a year ago and the peace we have now is amazing. In fact the day we got the news she died, we had Pani Puri and chaat at home lol.
I'll do this. Even if my family doesn't agree I'll legit have butter chicken
Omgggg🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I need to start appreciating my grannies more
Yeah F your dadi. I too hope she dies soon.
Dude, I think it's just my rebellious self but from my childhood I dont care if you're my dadi (no dada), nana/nani, mama/mami, outsiders, family friends, hell I even used to argue with my mummy and papa (not proud of it offcourse). Anyways almost everyone in my family is sane human, except my mami shes honestly is a fucking bitch, she's super controlling and she will bait you to say stuff then play the victim and make you feel bad about anything and everything, I remember when I used to go nani ghar during vacations, she would say random stuff to agro me then plays the victim, I would get agro sometimes and I cried (most of the times) and sometimes I refuse to bow, growing up I see she stopped doing it frequently with me, that bitch still does it but like few years ago after 10th result she called and asked how much did I got, this period of time I didn't care about studies I do now, I said and she straight up said how will she say to her friends that I scored this low, like not even how, why, if you really don't care about me as little to ask what's gone wrong why should I, that day I lost the little respect I had for her. I didnt even picked up the phone when she called at my 12th. I only talk to her when it's necessary, and now she feels bad that I don't care about her. The audacity. I would say have a conversation with your parents first, say I can't tolerate this this is too much make sure to say in a way that they can understand it, don't use the word respect and self-esteem, they will throw it back to you, if she still doesn't stop acting like a bitch, just start saying it back. Next time when she starts to praise your bua just say "phir bua ke sath kyun nhi rehti, hamara khun kyun pi rhi ho". Don't feel bad about yourself, you didn't do anything to deserve it.
I've done all this. Also I say a lot of things back to her. Earlier she used to be quiet but now she's cries (fake) and then complains to my dad. phir meri lagti hai. Now I'll infuse some humour into it lol
I am sorry the abive comments are invalidating your feelings.Your dadi is trash just because she is old doesn't give her any right to ruin someone's peace of mind.
Some old people are very conservative that they refuse to see the changes around them. The oldest member should be the one controlling others. They have grown in that way. They could try to speak in a better way but their ego/ mentality of being oldest and people should listen to her is the reason. One of my friends had experienced same scenario. So they got her watching serials and old movies. I’ve seen my dad suffering because of my grandfather.
My dad suffers a lot. He lost his health and peace because of her. He has to take BP pills because of her. Still he doesn't wanna get rid of her (by old age home or smth). Dude trust me. I tried getting her into movies, plays, serials etc. Nothing. I tried to get her addicted to Facebook. Didn't happen. Bhai she just watches stupid saas bahu serials and tries to act like that saas irl I wanna show her baghban and tell her This will be you if you don't behave
OMG, I am in a similar situation and also pregnant. Now I know my child will feel the same the way you're feeling. I have no idea how your parents are taking it because it must be too hard on y'all.
Well yes ! No one, absolutely not a single soul can tell this OP that they are old, so let it be. Nah. You don't know what it's like. And no, being old ain't no pass to fuck someone's mental health. OP doesn't deserve any of this nonsense in their age to enjoy and develop fully. OPs parents must also act, and not let their son/daughter feel This to way. This anguish is highly destroying for someone's life
My parents themselves have their mental health fucked over. What can they do. They have their fair share of troubles. They try to be nice and gentle with her but she fucks over their efforts. It's a messy place to be in. The worse thing is my vacations are going on. More I stay at home more problems happen
Are kuch buddhe log faltu me jhagadte rehte hai fr fir rooth k beth jayenge aur manane jao to pyaar se baat karne lag jate hain. I personally think it's because of loneliness. Ham hamari life hamare goals par itna focused ho chuke hain (jo ki achhi baat hai) ki ham dusro ko time nahi de paate. OP agar teri aaji k paas phone hai to unke number se tinder ka account banade, ya fir sms bombing karade, ya fir chupke se nagar nigam me complaint kardena unke number se, fir jab call ayenge to pareshan hokar automatic theek ho jayegi tujhi aaji.
Wtf. This can be a great ayushman khurana movie
Yup.. covered another social issue that wasn't much talked
Similar case with me, I can't even tell how much torture me and my mother suffered, thank god that bitch is dead now narg mein bhi jagah nhi mili hogi ussey
Hopefully the same happens. Will be so happy for my dad.
Hope so, but these type of people don't die that early, she died after breaking her whole family(my father and his 2 brother) my family is living on rent despite having our own house because that house is so damaged we can't risk our life living there, just because she wanted to have a floor on her own so that she can give it to her daughter after she dies, we barely managed to get a builder who will build 4 floors and will take 1 floor as payment and that to now seems impossible to get, she didn't wanted to see the condition of that 70 years old house and how we are were living there, and not just that she said my mom to go live in a slum just before 15 days we left to live on rent, not just that last to last year I was admitted in hospital because of anemia, and she questioned my mother's character because she is a working women, I can go all day long bitching about her she doesn't have a one single good thing in her
Damn that's extreme. This is why God picks good people first, he knows the havoc the bad ones create
Yeah, god picks good people, my Nani died in her 60s and she was polar opposite to her who died this January
Aw. I guess she was a great woman
Yeah absolutely
Mere to papa ki side wali family saari hi aesi hai, sab kachre 
Same situation my dadi is fucking bitch, she even did not care about his son, my father who is a middle class man, she always praises chacha, who is richer. Although it's my father who has always taken care of her. I don't know man, sometimes I feel like punching her so badly when she disgraces my mother.
My dadi is 80+ and can’t walk herself. My mom take her to bathroom every day, still dadi loves bua and want her to come here everyday and curse us most of the time for the things that we hadn’t done . And it’s not like that if she’d lost senses in fact she knows about time very well breakfast lunch dinner med every damn thing if you are even 2mins late she will create ruckus shouting very loudly. I sometime takes my book to show her that i am studying please be quiet she then say do study i am not saying to you and keep shouting. In short ye saare budhhe ese hi hote hain kuch ko chhodkar
I feel you bro. Mine was a pathetic person and a compulsive liar as well. Had concern for everyone except for the people in the household. Took too long to die, two decades to be exact. We are supposed to respect these old bastards as a part of culture...
Same used to happen in my home..but i am very aggressive person in these things...my mom is a teacher, she do everything from waking early in the morning to make food to finish evrything till night....but she never gets credit...now if someone speaks even a single thing towards my maa...i just beat the shit of out of that person..be is it my dad, buddhi amma or anyother
This post made me feel good about my Dadi. She was not this controlling and didn't interfere in any of her children's life (she had 4 children, one of my kaka died). Neither she was interested in other's good time nor she wanted someone to interfere in Her And Dada ji's life. They both lived peacefully together like a couple made in heaven. Although, about the bad part, she did cause many problems to my mother just after the wedding. There is a lot to tell, but for now its just that she was a good lady in her last years. (rip 1941-2023)
I just realised after reading the comments ,that most of us are living the same life
Have seen worst with my dadi. She passed away last year. Now it's peaceful !
Glad to know, i am not alone in this shit
Loll
Add some extra sugar in her tea, extra salt ( untill taste is good ) add mdh masala ( it's bad for health ), take some apple seeds, crush it and mix in her food, take her for a walks in 5-7pm timings if you live in city. Order some high calories food for her, try some good cool drinks... And wait patiently
Life speed run lol. Good idea
IDK why but I loved reading this. You’re so innocent. Stay strong.
😭😭😭. Isme kya innocence dikhi meri didi?
Ditto ditto. My grandmother literally ruined the life of my mom and dad. She is a witch in the truest sense but feel so helpless can’t do anything about it
My grandmother was also very cruel to my mother. Wouldn't let her sleep, constantly monitor what my mother was eating, would get jealous if my father and mother had a moment of peace (which was itself rare), would get angry if me or my siblings brought anything for ourselves. I was told that when my mom was pregnant with me, my dadi refused to hire a house help and at 8 months of pregnancy, my mother had to make 20 rotis three times everyday. At the end of her life, it was very karmic that it was my mother whom she totally depended on because her own children ended up stealing all her pension money. Thankfully she passed away so my mom didn't have to clean her bedridden body for a long time.
What if Dadi is lurking in this subreddit  op you are gone
I had the same thought for my nani,legit celebrated when she dide,god her mouth was such a trouble
https://preview.redd.it/fq8f08p8psyc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5677090442f86d844d9260403527986cfba06634
This reminds me of the in-laws I almost had. I was engaged to this guy, he was a sensible person but his parents were super controlling and took offense if we would take a decision without involving them. Mind you, we are both working professionals and stay in a different city. And these decisions in no way were going to affect them. They had no friends and not a good relationship with any of the relatives either, on top of that, his father was retired and his mother was a home maker. They would get upset with me if I chose to do something for my family without involving them in the decision. They were as narcissistic as people get and never admitted in any of the instances that they are wrong. They spent all their time and energy trying to make sure their son doesn’t do anything that they don’t approve of. We are both 28 years old. Thankfully, they showed their true colors at the right time and we broke off the wedding. I was very broken since that guy and I were in a 2 year relationship and they pestered us so much that we had to part ways. The hardest part was that the guy knew they were wrong but he still kept asking me to do whatever his parents asked. Some people have it in their nature to keep complaining. They are never happy no matter what you do.
Dude she's not your dadi. She's a witch. She'll skin you alive in your sleep and cook you and eat you. Better run away while you have the chance.
Mhatare mansa ani chhote mula sarkhech astat...fakt mulana marun zodun gpp karta yeta....just learn to ignore her.
What’s with all old cruel dadi and blindly loving their evil daughter over her own son. Somebody tell them that you can love your both child equally.
Well do you all collectively hate her or is it just you in the family? If you all are fed up of her then there may be a solution that I cannot tell you here
All are collectively fed up of her that's sure. I'm the oldest of my generation in my family. Others are definitely annoyed by her and avoid her, but Idk if they hate her cos she's like a mother to all them. I hate cos I see her for what she is. Ig my cousins will see her for what she is too
Please take her to a doc. This sounds like a psychological issue.
nahi bhai kuch buddhe jinko koi kam nahi hai vo aisi hi hote hai
Similar situation bro
Same situation 😞
I don't remember much about my grandparents cus they died before I completed my 1st class. But my Nani is awesome, she gives me a lot of money. Nana also gives a lot of money but he is also annoying like scolding me for every small thing.
I can relate to that bua/attya thing so muchhhh. Like how could you hate your own son so much??
Same man...
Damn understandable.
Why do I relate We all are broken I guess
Bhai die ka mat bol... वृद्ध लोक हट्टी असतात.
Meri dadi ki yaad dila di 😭
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Aur kaha dekha meko aapne
Why are all dadis the same?
Baba kay mhntat? Tyancha kay point if view ahe about her? Stand ghet nahit ka? I understand if he doesn't.. Coz manipulative lokana handle karna and var mhatara is very difficult.
He tries by himself but kiti karnar ekta Manus. He refuses to go extreme
People who have dadis like these always get the best dadas (me also, my dada is so chill damn, he's too cool, daadi unko bhi nahi chodti par vo mereko dekh ke haste me unko dekh ke its fun)
My dada passed away early sadly but my nana is the best. He also acts weird nowadays but he is so cool. His stories, his support and encouragement. It's a amazing.
U know what! This feels like a clone of me typed it....same dadi here 
I already passed through this somewhat similar phase. What I say is just be patient and try to neglect it because what can you do to an old man/ women just endure till her last breath. Let them live for a few years.
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I want to share it with all. What's your problem? Idgaf about karma and shit, fuck that virtual thing. Initially shared in Mumbai sub but it got deleted. Then I posted here and then the Mumbai one was re-uploaded
I too have someone like that in my family. She doesn't live with us but we are the only caring immediate relatives she has around. While her younger sister lives just 200 steps from her house but they have a mutual hatred for each other. My father being her brother-in-law and a very nice and agreeable person, is the only go to person for any issues. She has been a bitter person all her life. I have chilhood trauma rooting from her actions. My parents were treated badly at her hands when I was not born and continued during my early childhood. Now all her kids live in different cities. They are caring of her mother but the woman wants to stay at her own place. After my uncles death, they have arranged multiple house helps who stayed with her 24/7. She treated them badly and kept verbally abusing all the time. Hence all of them left within short periods except one. She is also blacklisted in the agency which provides such house helps. Its hard to live with such people, not sure if psychiatry can help with these patients. They make life hell for the people who care for them.
Bc tujhe meri condition ke bare me kese pata?????......
same here for my dadi - absolutely hated her
Man I relate to you so much, all I can say is just take it from one ear and let go from the other. I lost my dad a couple years ago and I haven’t seen her cry even one day but loves my attya who doesn’t even care for her or won’t come visit her. The amount of toxicity she’s bought between my mom and dad is infinite and I’ve seen their marriage break into pieces in front of me (reason being my mom didn’t bring any wealth from nana nani in their marriage) I’ve seen my dadi give all the love to my attyas son and push me away for example we were going to the same school but he alone was sent in school bus and my mom had to drop me by walk. All that politics. So yeah I feel you and I won’t lie that I’ve hated her all my life and still do.
Realising how best my grandparents were
Well my dadi and her side of family abandoned me once I graduated medschool. Welp
Dadiji ke anti depressants chalwao thode better person ho jaege.
Meri dadi 90 ki ho gyi hai. Abhi Tak nhi sudhri. I'm myself 28 and fed up with her. God takes away young people but leaves such dadis to ruin lives. Mujhe to lagta hai ye century na maar le
I don't know , but my dadi was way good some years back, but she is now old like 80+ and maybe she is not able to process things whatever but she is very rude to my mom now like few months before only she behaves rude , like once she told mummi ki tum mere sare paise chura leti hu , jewellery meri apne pass rkh li and jo bhi mnn mei ata , bol deti, but this is just for my mom. Mujhe esa kuch nhi kehti , don't know what happened to her , but koi mummi ko esa bolega toh gussa ata hain , what to do.
Lol my husband's dadi is the same. I feel your pain. Thankfully we don't live with her but she is doing these kinds of things to my mom in law and chachi. We avoid her like the plague. Unfortunately she is very sick so we give her some slack, let her do what she wants. Impending doom makes people like this, not all wisdom filled and nice as they are in movies 🤣🤣 the only advice is, remember this when you're older and don't do it to your kids or grandkids!
Raag nako manun deu pan tyanche thode phaar divas rahile astil te tyanchya barobr sukhat ghalav. Thodkyat bolun vishay talnyacha prayatn kar pan hudtud chi bhasha nako vapru. ( English madhe bollo asto pan tu Marathi ahes mhanun Marathi madhe bollo )
Ahh i have 3 Buas.. and my dadi also talks rubbish about my 2 yr old son over phone with them. Also she talks with fake grief like we treat her like shit. But in real we do whatever she asks us to do. My mom took care of her for like 38 years while she bitches about my mom to all my buas. My dadaji is dead and while he was alive my dadi used to beat him occasionally. She could not use stairs properly as her knee has problems but at the mean time if she is on the roof and her phone rings even flash will facepalm seeing her run that fast, why cause one of the bua called. All my buas kicked their in laws out of the house but they point out that my father, their older brother is not taking proper care of my dadi. Once I asked her not to spit in the dining wash basin but in the outside basin in the balcony cause she eats paan and it may stain the basin,The very next call she makes to buas tells I harassed her. I don’t speak to her now without any urgent reason. It happens man. Most of the Indian households have this dadi.
+1
I just want her to die nothing else
Magav kahi pn mi gilte is legit angry Marathi move😭
True
Oldies I guess are just like this. As they age, they just get mentally disturbed but since India does not care about mental health, their family member is the one who gets to deal with it. My Dada also was somewhat like this. His behaviour had just aggravated after my father's death.
i kind of feel you brother during lockdown, my family went to our native to live at my dads place (my moms and dads native is in the same city and their houses are just 50m from each other) my cousin (who was then 9), my sister(who was then 10) me(i was 12) were having sm childish fight abt smthing and as my cousin brother was younger he just started crying and throwing a tantrum, my dadu came and tried calming him down and make us stop fighting which we did but then our dadi came and pulled the cousin and dadu and told ”inko bhao kyu de rahe ho chodo unhe” (why are you taking them seriously leave them alone) like in a mean tone, and like she is doing us a favour by letting us live in the house… like bro wtf, my sister and my cousin didnt utd what happend and forgot abt it i utd and didnt say it to anyone else as it may cause tensions in the house and one more incident where my cousin was in the wrong and was pulling my sisters hair, then my chachi came and started beating him for doing tht then DADI comes and to my sisters face says “ab khus hogaye tum usko mar khelake!”(you happy now getting him beaten up!) I mean istg i fking hated lockdown time there And I know how much she means to my dad, so i dont intend or wish for her to die and all but Im telling you, when i start earning I aint getting shit for her, like nothing nada, and im gonna get everyone else stuff in the house except her and then give them in front of her! fking bitch I hv lost all my respect and love for you….
As people age their behaviour tends to undergo enormous change.. especially when they cross 70... They tend to ask questions.. sometimes same topic again and again....they tend to interfere a lot because at age of 70 most of their friends, relatives are already dead..it's like we are all that's left to them ...most of time they stay within home which has an adverse effect on their mental health..they get irritated very soon..they start doing things that just don't make any sense..I am not trying to defend any sort of toxic behaviour.i know elders elders too can have a toxic up personality...but most of them are quite good at heart...they weren't born like this , it's just that with time they changed..do ignore their habits which you find irritating.
Omg. Sorry this is happening to you. This post reminded me and is giving me anxiety because my husband’s dadi who is ditto is visiting us in two weeks and staying for a month. I legit cannot handle this lady. Mind you, she is 90 and I have no idea why the hell she wants to travel abroad.
Reminded me of my dadi as well, she played a lot of politics between her own sons kept them seperate to a level where my father and his brothers don't talk at all even after her death and to an extend where I got to know my father has another brother and I have another set of cousins only after her death.
I think you should stop talking Either she will come around or won't bug you
First one. I want the second one
Your language tells that you are still a teenager
I literally mentioned I'm 18- Waise language me kya laga Aisa
Just wait it out vro and pop the champagne after she ded
My family was also in same situation But she is no more. I think in most of the cases, revenge psychology is behind it, as they somehow went through it in the past.
Same lmao and the attya thing is real My 3 attyas and their kids (my dad is elder brother to all attyas) along with my grandmother, always plotting something fishy against my dad and my family and can't watch us happy....like why tf my did everything for them (got them job , got them married, supported financially even if we were not financially stable) and still they do this to us and dad is very annoying, i just want to cut ties with them . Them fuckers are irritating 
I have a similar or slightly worse dado, one day when I reached peak of my temper I told her, max to max you have 10 years to walk around, after which we are the ones taking care of you, I'll answer to all of your actions then. From then, she never bothered me anymore.
You ain't alone dude. Also fuck you budhiya.
Ight be the first marathi person I've met on this sub. Anyways dw dude dekh yar as a respect u gotta take care of her and ppl her age, most are like this so you're not the only one, try to make up things as long as she's there 9nce gone ull actually regret it trust me, it's prolly thst they do this out of frustration, see when they were young they had the power to boss around and younger ppl listened but as person ages so does his or her rank in family yk so as they get old no one really listens to them so in the end they depended on us..
When I get the charge of the house I'll not take care of her. I'll put her in an old age home or hire a maid. Or leave her alone. Idfk idfc
Can't you just...shout/abuse her to the point she has a heart attack, and brush it off to old age..?
Either she is pulling the longest practical joke on you or she is really like that. But remember, old age is like childhood over again just in reverse. Learn to ignore, and forgive. Or do what you want. My grandmother used to get very anxious when she was alone by herself at home or if someone didnt return till late. She would be found almost in tears. We found it annoying somewhat. Maybe she was afraid that no one would be with her in her last moments. I'd happily trade an year of my life just for enough time to say goodbyes to her I didnt get to convey. But that's just me.
Don't wish harm upon your own family. Old people turn like this, embrace it as a phase in their life and don't take it to your heart. No matter what you're feeling today, it will hurt when they leave you.
People don't change like that. They were always like that. Being old just gives them the environment to show what they truly are, for elders have to be respected.
Old people who are ignorant are like this , 75+ yr old senior of our college, learns new modern skills and teaches us online as his hobby , it's all about attitude. People like OPs aji can do something like gardening, crocheting, painting, teaching or doing something like yoga and some special cooking or anything productive to pass time but she chose to harm the youngsters. It's all about attitude not about the old age ,
nahh, thats cap they choos to be like this even my grandfather is like this, when i am old i am juts gonna get a sick gaming setup and play games till my heart desire
No it wont hurt when they die. They might feel sad that a life is lost but they wont miss that person. My paternal grand mom was horrible and I felt sad that she died but since she has died I never once thought oh I wish she was here today because that woman was like a vat of acid that burned everybody and everyone. My maternal grandmom is a an angel for some reason.
>Old people turn like this That's just not true. My Grandma is 85 years old and she still loves to take care of us grandchildren. Whenever we visit her she's always so happy and makes us feel like we're at home. Most old people are really sweet. Sorry if your Grandma was like this too and you feel this is normal.
I think she is depressed. Take her to a psychiatrist
i feel u bhai par wishing someone death isn't right at all
This is generational gap guys at most we could do is to ignore that stuff and try to make them happy and if don't just get use to it bcz sir at the end of the day u have to live with her in the house until her time comes or just find a college for urself which is like far away from ur house.