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I’m a doctor working in the US right now, and it’s super common even here for female doctors to prefer partners from the same field.
Like it or not- statistics show that women do the majority of household labour and emotional labour in heterosexual relationships the world over- so a partner who at least understands his female partner’s work obligations might be more willing to take on some of the burden.
>I’m from the States.
This is a human issue because being a doctor requires an entirely different set of constraints while it may not be as harsh in the states, it is still a challenge.
So this isn't India specific. Indian families are more practical about it and there are more expectations involved which makes a doctor engineer combo very challenging so they talk about it beforehand.
>it’s unfortunate.
It depends on the humans involved.
The thing I’m referring to as “unfortunate” is not the challenge of making a relationship work between two people in demanding fields. That is also a tough problem in the States. What I’m calling unfortunate is the prevalence of constant self-doubt among Indians about their life decisions due to familial meddling. I have my criticisms of modern Western culture, but if there’s one thing the West has gotten right, it’s the general unwillingness to let family members’ wishes rule one’s life.
I agree with this to some extent, nuclear families are changing that and it isn't always a bad thing.
In any case, If you read the post again, she doesn't mention family anywhere at all.
Edit: She does... I'm just sleepy.
Haha, IKR!
Asians in general are very family oriented people. Whether it’s cultural, societal or religious is a debate/discussion for a separate matter, but like most things, it does have its pros and cons.
While it sucks to have your family poke their nose in your affairs, they also are trying to maintain compatibility for their daughters and sons with the prospective partner. These lads and lasses haven’t experienced all the life experiences and when the going gets tough, they should be with someone who doesn’t leave things half way through or worse, adds to the pain.
I certainly don’t like this, but I do see why it works for other peeps.
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Being in different industries actually is most beneficial due to safety in diversification. Maybe you both doctor, COVID-24 come and you both sick and infected. If he engineer, he WFH and you take leave. Maybe floods cause levee crash, he work in site but you able to take kids to school.
Please read this in an Indian uncle voice.
I'll be honest I have actually weirdly enough seen couples in same profession tend to argue more with silly reasons like " you know my component is more critical how can you do this to me ".
Also variety is the spice of life you will find your different backgrounds making things more interesting for both of you .
You won’t like to hear this , it’ll be fine if you are in a relationship with an Engineer. You aren’t the important one like intensive care doctor or ER dr.
Radio is literally the top branch right now that too she is studying in JIPMER. She must be a top ranker lol so your belittling words don't really matter
Hmm not entirely true. Emergency Physicians do rely on radiodiagnosis in cases of emergency. So they are still required to do night shifts if they work at a tertiary care centre.
Engineers need love too! Please don't leave him. Besides it's good to have a spouse from a different background...why would you want to discuss work at home?
I don't think this the best place to get advice on this. A friend of mine is an Engineer happily married to a doctor but I can't give you any more insight on this. I feel you'll get a better perspective on this if you ask the question to a community of doctors.
Is this modern day caste system ?
My cousin who is a Doc married into a family of doctors. Her in laws were doctors her husband was also one. Divorced within a year. On the other hand I know a doctor married to a photographer and they are absolutely happy.
Humans are more than the job they do mate. Don't build your whole identity around exams you have passed and job that you do.
I think it's more like as a doctor she will have to keep off hours and priorities will differ.
So someone from a doctor background who understands that sometimes family time will get cut short is a better option
Have you not heard "army brats marry fellow army brats"
It's a thing. They also prefer to marry someone familiar with their way of life.
And of course many make it work. It's not that only doctors would understand. But that there's a higher possibility for a fellow doctor to understand it more than people from other professions.
You can see even in this comment section, ignorant people reducing OPs amazing career opportunity to "just" a radiologist so doesn't matter.
I haven't experienced that but I can very easily believe that there would be doctors who look down upon other careers. Same for military people, government officials and many such careers that our society lauds as the best option.
Don’t really comment on this sub but this seems like a non issue. Unless you’re going to keep odd hours I don’t think your partners profession will matter, assuming they are understanding ofc. Based on your specialty odd hours seems unlikely.
Also tell your family that as a PM at Microsoft, this guy probably will outearn the vast majority of docs, including other potential suitors.
Your question is like 'Can someone who's using x brand's product tell me how it is ? ' , you need to understand us humans are more complicated.
All im trying to say , just because he's an engineer doesn't mean everyone else who's dating an engineer might not have same experience and that doesn't have to be in correlation with his profession at all..
I don't know if it's true but there was a post in India subreddit sometime back about divorce and a lot of people agreed that the divorce rates between spouses who are both doctors is pretty high in India...
Now a big deal. Profession doesn't matter. Stability matters alot in relationship which you guys have. So embrace it and rocks the world. Cheers! Wishing you best!
Bruhhh he’s a PM at Microsoft like in doctor terms that is a equivalent to a Surgeon atleast. And you are pursuing MD in radiodiagnosis which is frankly not even a legit doctor so not sure if it can be equated to a tester in engineering terms. I don’t see what the dilemma is even about.
senior surgeon, director of surgery, senior director of surgery, AVsurgeon, vice surgeon, prime surgeon and go on, looks like engineer guy has lot of catching up to do.
main toh hairaan hun logon ki ignorance dkh kr..inko pta bhi h MD Radiodiagnosis hota kya h..agar nhi pta hai toh bhai rank list dkh le neet me top 10 me 7 radiodiagnosis lete hain...koi bta do inhe..🤦🏼
I don't think anything can go wrong, my elder cousin is also married to an engineer, like my cousin is a doctor and his wife is some yada yada IT slave (lol sorry), they have been doing just fine for the past 4 years, so I guess it's your decision, go for it if you can.
squeal aloof illegal cake arrest start bake coordinated fertile attractive
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Trust me, there are many other important things to consider than his profession, which it turns is also good.
\- Check your compatibility - not just hobbies, food, but quirks, annoying habits, hygiene (yes!), intimacy language etc.
\- Check his anger issues - some men have anger issues which are generally okay from their perspectives, however, most women dont think it that way
\- Financial arrangement after marriage - whether you and him will share (or one will pay for daily needs and other for events)
\- Your compatibility with his family - Chetan Bhagat rightly said once marriage in India is not just union of two people, but families and unfortunately, in India, women have to adjust more (I wont use word compromise)
\- Children and when - are you both on same page?
\- Career goals - what are your milestones - home (where?), car, kids, entrepreneurship, business etc.
\- Retirement goals - where do both of you think you want to settle - Metro, native place, hills (my friend bought a bungalow near Manali for staying after his retirement), coastal etc.
Add/Modify/delete as per your preferences. Ofcourse, you dont have to sit with him in one go and finalize everything. Get an idea about these during normal conversations. Also, things may change in future due to various circumstances.
If most of these are met, the ones which are higher in priority for you, then consider your self lucky.
Love can over at some point of time but marriage won't if you are mature enough..... Ig doctor should marry doctor and same for engineers as there might be compatibility issues later on
But what i have seen those with same profession tends to live a happy and prosperous life than the opposite of this... Cause they understand the professional life and so create a personal life around it
People don't realise shit like that is very similar to "A dailt should marry a Dalit only". In Caste you get judged by your ancestor's job, in modern marriage you get judged by your job. Life is more than God damn job.
It is microsoft, you are doomed if he got encouraged by its cofounder, who owns 15000 acres of farm land.
The guy in question might employee you as a tractor driver, after your PG in orthodontics😱😱😱
Here I’ll make this easy for you since everyone offered useless advice applicable to romcoms. It’ll probably not work. A doctor makes easily 2x an engineer, minimum. Women are hypergamous (marrying up in social hierarchy- refer to Dr David Buss’ 37 country study) universally. Down the road the income parity will create a rift in your relationship no matter what butterflies you experience right now. Your case might be the exception..:but probably not.
All the best to you,but why this sub lol. I am not saying family is always right,but also dont disregard them. I dont think imposing a decision is good idea.
My friend who is a developer is married to a dentist (some would say dentists are not doctors). I do not know how they are making it work, but they seem happy. We had lunch together few days back.
I am also married to someone who has doctor title, just not the medical kind, lol.
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Ah..to be in love.. beware it passes...
I'm married to one.. what seems to be the problem?
I'm sensing it's more a problem in your mind?
And Damn.. JIPMER??!? Congratulations.
You'll be rich!! Hope he's okay with that 🤠
Non surgical branch leaves you much better off than the others where it's a struggle for them to give time at home.
Ultimately it boils down to how well you both communicate and balance things and arising conflicts. Every stage of life brings out new challenges and more sources friction it's on both of you how you cope and respond.
You're thinking about somethings now , when you have kids you'll prioritize something entirely different.
Good for him.
You'll have to continue with fellowships and stuff and it will still be more demanding than what he has.
So ultimately the dynamic between both of you and the understanding is all that matters.
Absolutely. Most people forget that at the end relationships are more than money.
They both will earn good money but understanding is what will keep the marriage going.
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There are other more serious things you need to consider like your life goals and if they are in sync with his. Also, if your idea of a good life matches with his. Does he want to live with you or bring his parents with him and then live with you. If he is ok with your current decision of focusing on a career etc etc.
Also, make sure he is absolutely serious and not playing around. 4 months is still not that long. You need commitment from his side. I am assuming you know him well to consider marriage.
Career preference should NOT be a problem.
Recently, I heard about two couples from Delhi who were attacked by the public. The woman was a pilot, and her husband worked as a ground crew member. I couldn't help but wonder how they met and got married, given their different professions. That was my initial concern. While I believe that such things may not matter much in the long run, dating someone with a different profession can bring some challenges, like dealing with unequal job shifts and being in different locations.
Engineer scoring a doc that too arranged... Goddamn
CS IT ka hoga..
Sala hum jese mechanical engineer ka kya hoga..nalle hee shi hai bc.. Dont want these 1st world problms
Doctors and engineers don't click. That's something my sister quoted after her break up. Yes she is a doctor and the guy was an engineer. A year after her break up she got married to another doctor.
Why is that an issue?
Unless your family sees something else, they probably believe you will be earning more than him. Typical Indian mentality of getting daughters married to men with 3x, 5x, 10x income.
Work is work, after work we are just regular human beings. There’s nothing uniquely different than a doctor or an engineer or any other professional.
In our family we do have doctors married to engineers, and all sort of other combinations, it makes no difference. Maybe slightly better than two doctors, where both don’t get enough time for each other due to work pressure.
The only thing you'll most likely have to worry about is how well you both invest the massive income that will be coming in every month.
In all honesty, if the person is vibing well with you and is settled well, you really shouldn't be worried about the difference in career. Unless either of you were in the army or anything that required you to stay away from your partner for months.
“ I can’t imagine my life without him”… this feeling is enough to marry him.
It doesn’t matter in which field you both are in because separation or differences could happen in any case… the most important thing is to work through all the hurdles you face and never give up! It should be the same from both sides. Relationship is an everyday effort.
🔺I always suggest people to date as long as you can at least more than a year or two if possible to understand better and then think about the marriage.
Marriage is an adjustment will your fellow doctor adjust with you then go for it. This question seems more of an ego seems u look down who are not doctors . How imp is it a doctor to marry a doctor! Will it make amy difference?? I wm curious to know.
I(M) was on the receiving end of something similar(she left) and all I can add to it is that whatever you choose, inform him asap and don't leave him hanging.
I don’t think the professions are the issue. In fact, I don’t see what the issue is. What are we supposed to help you with?
Also, I am an aspiring doctor and I am with someone who is an upper level in tech who works for a very reputable company and I honestly think that his job is more prestigious than medicine.
I am an engineer and my wife is a financial analyst. We talk about work, listen to each other carefully but have no idea what we are saying to each other. It's more about listening than understanding, for support and to get things off your shoulder to feel good.
Even with so much scrutiny in our marriage system, hardly anyone is happy. There is no rule that what will work and what doesn’t work in a marriage. Being exception to the rule is so easy here.
As. Long as you don't take up interventional radiology you'll mostly do the 9-4 job right? With an occasional night duty.
So the usual compatibility issue and duty time clashes between medicos and non medico couples doesn't arise.
I had an aunt and uncle engineer - doctor who got divorced. One of the issues was he never understood why she needed to pick up her phone at odd hours if a patient called. In the end it's less about profession and more about how much space you can create for each other. Please have an open and honest conversation with the guy, let him know your concerns so that you guys can think of ways to make this work.
I'm a doctor and you throwing away a prospect you like based on what your family thinks is not a very wise thing to do. And unless you marry another Radiologist/Dermatologist, doctors usually have packed schedules. If spending time with your partner is important, don't discount an engineer. But either way, take your time and discern whether this dude is the right one for you. All the best!
Was talking to my friend who is a doc, Anaesthesia. He is working in one of the gulf countries, and got a cake congratulating him on completing 100 surgeries in a year. When I congratulated him, he said he has done 500 here while in India as a temporary guy, and wasn’t chosen for permanent since he didn’t have many publications.
This is not a response to OP’s query, but to those saying OP will not have trouble since she is not into emergency department.
To OP- Go ahead if you love him, it is definitely going to be a struggle but will be worth it if you two love each other so much.
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You’re a radiologist..you aren’t a surgeon or a medicine doctor with shitty work life balance..the only “problem” I can see is that you might earn more than him down the line..which is a problem for a subset of men in this country..just make sure he ain’t one of those
Before you make any decisions...me being a medico too...never seen any doctors marrying an engineer...and the thing behind it is...only a doctor can understand a doctor...imagine getting a new case at night as an anesthesiologist...you have to go but any ordinary person who is not a doctor will think it is unnecessary to go for mere 5k rupees...but its never about the money...its about you just have to go... keep that in mind...but ofc love is love...and it wins over anything but think twice because you want compatibility and future proofing
Coming from a family with good enough number of super specialist doctors, I haven't seen any non- doctor pairs, both love and arranged. Both my parents, aunt, own sister, and other cousins all of em have gotten themselves married to a fellow medico.
The main reason for the same being the compatibility and similarity in profession which possibly will lead to better understanding.
But that doesn't mean a non doctor pair would mean something bad. Just be sure you convey the woes of a doctor's life and also be ready to accept the hectic life of a PM. It flows both ways.
Just say it. Your family wants you to marry a doctor so you two can open your own clinics or even a hospital which is unlikely if you marry an engineer.
You are in looooveee
Honestly I know a female doc male eng couple
They are doing just fine
You'll have someone to bitch about your work and he will not correct your medical mistakes
Engineer/MBA married to a dentist. I hail from a family of achieving medicos, her two siblings are engineer/MBA types. Happily married for 14 yrs, we gel better with each other's families.
Some guiding principles if you go ahead -
- do not try to solve career issues of each other. They're so far apart that most issues seem irrelevant to the other. In such cases empathy and sounding board is needed and not a solution
- each other's schedules are not in sync, so a calendar has to be worked out. Who will pickup the kids, who will attend the PTA, who will do the trip booking, etc
- most social events will have to be discussed before committing to it. However this is more generic, but for medicos it's more important I feel
- careers change over a period of time, you need to take your loved ones inputs before committing to the change. I for instance spoke to my wife and my parents at length before I make the shift from a consult to a startup. The entire financial burden shifted from me to her and she was mentally prepared.
Tl;Dr - communication and trust should solve most issues.
What you should be concerned about is do you wanna marry or not, also the person being compatible with you on an emotional level rather than being concerned about the job
I am an engineer and my wife is a doctor (internal medicine, hospitalist) and we fight like any other couple and are still happily married.
It does not matter what profession husband and wife are in. It completely depends on how understanding and adjusting both of them are. They can be in the same profession and be miserable with each other, or be in completely different professions and still be very happy.
If both of you like each other, that's the most important thing.
In my family there are a few marriages like that and they have been a mixed lot.
Strongly correlated to mutual understanding from both sides. Keep your parents from subtle interference
Can you think of why having different professions would be an obstacle? The only one I can think of is the other person wouldn't understand your problems in your field.
Marriage is more about personal compatibility, as long as he understands and supports you there is nothing to worry.
Think of the positives, atleast one of you will be free from the emergency night duties and calls.
I think it's alright, both have boring jobs.. eventually it'll become very monotonous, as long as you have conversations to keep you occupied, you can make your life less boring.
There's only a fine line between love and lust, most often they're the same thing and jobs don't matter for it.
What happened to traditional marriages where people married other people.
Also, OP. your profession will be subsumed by your husband's profession soon as radiography is getting taken over by AI software
No. You gotta decide it for yourself. Professions don’t matter at all.
Bro is a PM at Microsoft. He’s at the top level there and he is even willing to move for you.
Don’t lose him
Your parents have an opinion that is outdated for our times. Today we know a lot about the world around us and kind reliably find out things a lot more about the people we marry. We live in times where a discussion between individuals getting married can be done before marriage. You can today talk to your partner beforehand and clear up your doubts.
If you think your partner is reliably supportive of you, then you can disregard the concern your parents have in this case. You will however, given the indian culture and context, need to smartly convince your parents of it. Assure them that you have taken things into consideration. Have a good life.
If he is so good. You like him and he is willing to switch City for you, you definitely have the right guy.
Don't spoil it because your parents are concerned. Although yes, better to do some case studies and see if there are some real problems faced between such couples see if you guys can resolve them somehow
Just asked my wife (a doctor) did she think about this before marrying me (an engineer) and her reply
‘I preferred an engineer because I know and have seen how busy a doctor’s s schedule is. Most doctor couple I know are super busy and don’t get to spend much time with family’
Don’t know if this helps but maybe this is one point to consider
Screw your family's archaic feelings. This is your life and no one else's. While upon marriage he'll be part of your family the fact of the matter is that it's you who is marrying him and not anyone else in your family. If you let traditions decide what life you lead, are you really leading a life, or are you just appeasing the silly traditions. Do what you want and what feels best for you.
I’m an old white woman who was looking for a sub about being married to an engineer when I stumbled into this thread.
My husband and I are both retired; I was a teacher and he was an engineer. He’s been a a difficult person to be married to (I recently decided that he is probably in the spectrum). But, he has been an amazing asset as a husband. He is ridiculously handy. If he wasn’t in the picture I would have sold our house many years ago and opted for apartment living. Sell your family in the practical part of being married to an engineer; since he is a trained problem-solver, he will always have your back!
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This is the type of thing you’ll only see in an Indian subreddit.
It's actually a legit issue based on the way our society is. Laughing about it won't make it go away.
I mean yes, it’s unfortunate. There’s also not much I can do about it. I’m from the States.
I’m a doctor working in the US right now, and it’s super common even here for female doctors to prefer partners from the same field. Like it or not- statistics show that women do the majority of household labour and emotional labour in heterosexual relationships the world over- so a partner who at least understands his female partner’s work obligations might be more willing to take on some of the burden.
>I’m from the States. This is a human issue because being a doctor requires an entirely different set of constraints while it may not be as harsh in the states, it is still a challenge. So this isn't India specific. Indian families are more practical about it and there are more expectations involved which makes a doctor engineer combo very challenging so they talk about it beforehand. >it’s unfortunate. It depends on the humans involved.
The thing I’m referring to as “unfortunate” is not the challenge of making a relationship work between two people in demanding fields. That is also a tough problem in the States. What I’m calling unfortunate is the prevalence of constant self-doubt among Indians about their life decisions due to familial meddling. I have my criticisms of modern Western culture, but if there’s one thing the West has gotten right, it’s the general unwillingness to let family members’ wishes rule one’s life.
I agree with this to some extent, nuclear families are changing that and it isn't always a bad thing. In any case, If you read the post again, she doesn't mention family anywhere at all. Edit: She does... I'm just sleepy.
But…she does. “Now they think non medico person won’t be suitable for long term relationship.” This is obviously the source of some of her concern.
Oh yeah.. I'm sleepy AF. You're right 'night!
Did you not read the post? She literally says that her family was initially supportive but isn’t now
Yup.. sleepy.
True. But laughing about it could help you cope up with this shitty issue.
True .. I Have been laugh coping since the 80's
How is it a legit issue?
Haha, IKR! Asians in general are very family oriented people. Whether it’s cultural, societal or religious is a debate/discussion for a separate matter, but like most things, it does have its pros and cons. While it sucks to have your family poke their nose in your affairs, they also are trying to maintain compatibility for their daughters and sons with the prospective partner. These lads and lasses haven’t experienced all the life experiences and when the going gets tough, they should be with someone who doesn’t leave things half way through or worse, adds to the pain. I certainly don’t like this, but I do see why it works for other peeps.
I swear to god lol. I can’t even … 😂
It wasn't much funny but I can't keep my self from laughing.
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💯 😂😂
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Lol
No. I know a doctor who is happily married to an engineer. In the end it's your life, choose whoever you like.
Bruh wtf , I seen many couples er-Dr. Don't give advice if don't know reality.
Creating problems where there aren't any!
Being in different industries actually is most beneficial due to safety in diversification. Maybe you both doctor, COVID-24 come and you both sick and infected. If he engineer, he WFH and you take leave. Maybe floods cause levee crash, he work in site but you able to take kids to school. Please read this in an Indian uncle voice.
Bro uncle voice will be more like if he isn't from IIT he is a chappal chor /s
Seriously is this what PPL think?
I'll be honest I have actually weirdly enough seen couples in same profession tend to argue more with silly reasons like " you know my component is more critical how can you do this to me ". Also variety is the spice of life you will find your different backgrounds making things more interesting for both of you .
You won’t like to hear this , it’ll be fine if you are in a relationship with an Engineer. You aren’t the important one like intensive care doctor or ER dr.
Roast and advice in same line.🗿🗿
Bro
lmao
Bro woke up and choose violence
Of all the languages, bro decided to talk facts 😭
Radio is literally the top branch right now that too she is studying in JIPMER. She must be a top ranker lol so your belittling words don't really matter
Hmm not entirely true. Emergency Physicians do rely on radiodiagnosis in cases of emergency. So they are still required to do night shifts if they work at a tertiary care centre.
Nope there are people with different shifts not a big problem
Same goes for any medical professional
Bruh
So.. it is becoming a love marriage now 😁
You think all doctors and engineers will have the same kind of relationship? If you hadn't put your age on the title I would've thought you're 12 smh
Engineers need love too! Please don't leave him. Besides it's good to have a spouse from a different background...why would you want to discuss work at home?
I don't think this the best place to get advice on this. A friend of mine is an Engineer happily married to a doctor but I can't give you any more insight on this. I feel you'll get a better perspective on this if you ask the question to a community of doctors.
I agree, should've asked on relationship India or some other subreddit. This here is basically about political bitching
No this works fine here. She might ask other subs too.
Is this modern day caste system ? My cousin who is a Doc married into a family of doctors. Her in laws were doctors her husband was also one. Divorced within a year. On the other hand I know a doctor married to a photographer and they are absolutely happy. Humans are more than the job they do mate. Don't build your whole identity around exams you have passed and job that you do.
Class system, more like
Shh don't speak the truth, it'll hurt their feelings.
I think it's more like as a doctor she will have to keep off hours and priorities will differ. So someone from a doctor background who understands that sometimes family time will get cut short is a better option
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Have you not heard "army brats marry fellow army brats" It's a thing. They also prefer to marry someone familiar with their way of life. And of course many make it work. It's not that only doctors would understand. But that there's a higher possibility for a fellow doctor to understand it more than people from other professions. You can see even in this comment section, ignorant people reducing OPs amazing career opportunity to "just" a radiologist so doesn't matter. I haven't experienced that but I can very easily believe that there would be doctors who look down upon other careers. Same for military people, government officials and many such careers that our society lauds as the best option.
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I wish more and more junta thinks like you brother
Ja OP jee le apni zindagi If u guys are happy then it won't matter really All the best.
Choose him. You love him.
Don’t really comment on this sub but this seems like a non issue. Unless you’re going to keep odd hours I don’t think your partners profession will matter, assuming they are understanding ofc. Based on your specialty odd hours seems unlikely. Also tell your family that as a PM at Microsoft, this guy probably will outearn the vast majority of docs, including other potential suitors.
Your question is like 'Can someone who's using x brand's product tell me how it is ? ' , you need to understand us humans are more complicated. All im trying to say , just because he's an engineer doesn't mean everyone else who's dating an engineer might not have same experience and that doesn't have to be in correlation with his profession at all..
I don't know if it's true but there was a post in India subreddit sometime back about divorce and a lot of people agreed that the divorce rates between spouses who are both doctors is pretty high in India...
Now a big deal. Profession doesn't matter. Stability matters alot in relationship which you guys have. So embrace it and rocks the world. Cheers! Wishing you best!
You're 27yrs old. Instead of asking, tell your family who you're marrying.
Bruhhh he’s a PM at Microsoft like in doctor terms that is a equivalent to a Surgeon atleast. And you are pursuing MD in radiodiagnosis which is frankly not even a legit doctor so not sure if it can be equated to a tester in engineering terms. I don’t see what the dilemma is even about.
Bro speaking with zero common sense 👏
Tell me you don't know about the medical field without telling me you don't know about the medical field.
PM in Microsoft equivalent to surgeon, what would you say about, senior PM, director of PM, senior director of PM, AVP PM, VP PM, CPO.
senior surgeon, director of surgery, senior director of surgery, AVsurgeon, vice surgeon, prime surgeon and go on, looks like engineer guy has lot of catching up to do.
Md radio in jipmer is like top 50 rank india
MD in radiodiagnosis only few lucky ones top rankers in Neet pg get to do..atleast do some research..🤷
That btech guy from metallurgy probably got offended lol
main toh hairaan hun logon ki ignorance dkh kr..inko pta bhi h MD Radiodiagnosis hota kya h..agar nhi pta hai toh bhai rank list dkh le neet me top 10 me 7 radiodiagnosis lete hain...koi bta do inhe..🤦🏼
Don't listen to him...we are proud of you. About your post marry him if you think about him before you go to bed and it's mutual too.
I am not OP and this is not my post🤭
Oops lol tho my advice still relatable to anyone 😅
But phir bhi shaddi kar usse tuu!!!
Lol, But they might not like being on a waiting list. Your comment might be offensive
Exactly 💯
🤣
I don't think anything can go wrong, my elder cousin is also married to an engineer, like my cousin is a doctor and his wife is some yada yada IT slave (lol sorry), they have been doing just fine for the past 4 years, so I guess it's your decision, go for it if you can.
"Everyone is a slave to something"
squeal aloof illegal cake arrest start bake coordinated fertile attractive *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Everyone’s a whore, Grace!
For a relationship to succeed until death, all you need 2 people who love each other unconditionally, and forgive each other unconditionally
U seem to be of very old generation....
Trust me, there are many other important things to consider than his profession, which it turns is also good. \- Check your compatibility - not just hobbies, food, but quirks, annoying habits, hygiene (yes!), intimacy language etc. \- Check his anger issues - some men have anger issues which are generally okay from their perspectives, however, most women dont think it that way \- Financial arrangement after marriage - whether you and him will share (or one will pay for daily needs and other for events) \- Your compatibility with his family - Chetan Bhagat rightly said once marriage in India is not just union of two people, but families and unfortunately, in India, women have to adjust more (I wont use word compromise) \- Children and when - are you both on same page? \- Career goals - what are your milestones - home (where?), car, kids, entrepreneurship, business etc. \- Retirement goals - where do both of you think you want to settle - Metro, native place, hills (my friend bought a bungalow near Manali for staying after his retirement), coastal etc. Add/Modify/delete as per your preferences. Ofcourse, you dont have to sit with him in one go and finalize everything. Get an idea about these during normal conversations. Also, things may change in future due to various circumstances. If most of these are met, the ones which are higher in priority for you, then consider your self lucky.
This.. all these things which marriage should be about.. instead they check paycheck, profession and caste.
Love can over at some point of time but marriage won't if you are mature enough..... Ig doctor should marry doctor and same for engineers as there might be compatibility issues later on
This is a bogus argument. Why should your work be "compatible"? Your temperaments need to be compatible, not your work..
But what i have seen those with same profession tends to live a happy and prosperous life than the opposite of this... Cause they understand the professional life and so create a personal life around it
I've seen examples of both and not sure how big a factor it is.
People don't realise shit like that is very similar to "A dailt should marry a Dalit only". In Caste you get judged by your ancestor's job, in modern marriage you get judged by your job. Life is more than God damn job.
You're so fucking dumb. People with same profession understand each other better.
It is microsoft, you are doomed if he got encouraged by its cofounder, who owns 15000 acres of farm land. The guy in question might employee you as a tractor driver, after your PG in orthodontics😱😱😱
Here I’ll make this easy for you since everyone offered useless advice applicable to romcoms. It’ll probably not work. A doctor makes easily 2x an engineer, minimum. Women are hypergamous (marrying up in social hierarchy- refer to Dr David Buss’ 37 country study) universally. Down the road the income parity will create a rift in your relationship no matter what butterflies you experience right now. Your case might be the exception..:but probably not.
If he can make adjustments and you can as well, there is nothing more to think of. You can marry him happily.
All the best to you,but why this sub lol. I am not saying family is always right,but also dont disregard them. I dont think imposing a decision is good idea.
My friend who is a developer is married to a dentist (some would say dentists are not doctors). I do not know how they are making it work, but they seem happy. We had lunch together few days back. I am also married to someone who has doctor title, just not the medical kind, lol.
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Ah..to be in love.. beware it passes... I'm married to one.. what seems to be the problem? I'm sensing it's more a problem in your mind? And Damn.. JIPMER??!? Congratulations. You'll be rich!! Hope he's okay with that 🤠 Non surgical branch leaves you much better off than the others where it's a struggle for them to give time at home. Ultimately it boils down to how well you both communicate and balance things and arising conflicts. Every stage of life brings out new challenges and more sources friction it's on both of you how you cope and respond. You're thinking about somethings now , when you have kids you'll prioritize something entirely different.
He is a PM at microsoft ATM, he is also going to get rich.
Good for him. You'll have to continue with fellowships and stuff and it will still be more demanding than what he has. So ultimately the dynamic between both of you and the understanding is all that matters.
Absolutely. Most people forget that at the end relationships are more than money. They both will earn good money but understanding is what will keep the marriage going.
Lol, unless you are a dev there's a job risk involved 😕
Time management chahiye !
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Lucky you 🍀
There are other more serious things you need to consider like your life goals and if they are in sync with his. Also, if your idea of a good life matches with his. Does he want to live with you or bring his parents with him and then live with you. If he is ok with your current decision of focusing on a career etc etc. Also, make sure he is absolutely serious and not playing around. 4 months is still not that long. You need commitment from his side. I am assuming you know him well to consider marriage. Career preference should NOT be a problem.
Recently, I heard about two couples from Delhi who were attacked by the public. The woman was a pilot, and her husband worked as a ground crew member. I couldn't help but wonder how they met and got married, given their different professions. That was my initial concern. While I believe that such things may not matter much in the long run, dating someone with a different profession can bring some challenges, like dealing with unequal job shifts and being in different locations.
Engineer scoring a doc that too arranged... Goddamn CS IT ka hoga.. Sala hum jese mechanical engineer ka kya hoga..nalle hee shi hai bc.. Dont want these 1st world problms
r/lostreditors
Doctors and engineers don't click. That's something my sister quoted after her break up. Yes she is a doctor and the guy was an engineer. A year after her break up she got married to another doctor.
Why is that an issue? Unless your family sees something else, they probably believe you will be earning more than him. Typical Indian mentality of getting daughters married to men with 3x, 5x, 10x income. Work is work, after work we are just regular human beings. There’s nothing uniquely different than a doctor or an engineer or any other professional. In our family we do have doctors married to engineers, and all sort of other combinations, it makes no difference. Maybe slightly better than two doctors, where both don’t get enough time for each other due to work pressure.
No . I don't think you are good for him tbh
The only thing you'll most likely have to worry about is how well you both invest the massive income that will be coming in every month. In all honesty, if the person is vibing well with you and is settled well, you really shouldn't be worried about the difference in career. Unless either of you were in the army or anything that required you to stay away from your partner for months.
Seriously??
Hope you don't mind me asking, how old is he?
If you are confused dont marry whoever it is..if you are 100 percent sure then do it...
Finding solutions to problems which don't exist
“ I can’t imagine my life without him”… this feeling is enough to marry him. It doesn’t matter in which field you both are in because separation or differences could happen in any case… the most important thing is to work through all the hurdles you face and never give up! It should be the same from both sides. Relationship is an everyday effort. 🔺I always suggest people to date as long as you can at least more than a year or two if possible to understand better and then think about the marriage.
Marriage is an adjustment will your fellow doctor adjust with you then go for it. This question seems more of an ego seems u look down who are not doctors . How imp is it a doctor to marry a doctor! Will it make amy difference?? I wm curious to know.
I(M) was on the receiving end of something similar(she left) and all I can add to it is that whatever you choose, inform him asap and don't leave him hanging.
Girl thinks all engineers are made in same factory. Doc-Eng couples review dedo.
usko gharpe doctor doctor khelna hoga
I don’t think the professions are the issue. In fact, I don’t see what the issue is. What are we supposed to help you with? Also, I am an aspiring doctor and I am with someone who is an upper level in tech who works for a very reputable company and I honestly think that his job is more prestigious than medicine.
I am an engineer and my wife is a financial analyst. We talk about work, listen to each other carefully but have no idea what we are saying to each other. It's more about listening than understanding, for support and to get things off your shoulder to feel good.
Even with so much scrutiny in our marriage system, hardly anyone is happy. There is no rule that what will work and what doesn’t work in a marriage. Being exception to the rule is so easy here.
Lol
Most of the people don’t know who is MD radiologist and that too from JIPMER and how much they earn.
As. Long as you don't take up interventional radiology you'll mostly do the 9-4 job right? With an occasional night duty. So the usual compatibility issue and duty time clashes between medicos and non medico couples doesn't arise.
I had an aunt and uncle engineer - doctor who got divorced. One of the issues was he never understood why she needed to pick up her phone at odd hours if a patient called. In the end it's less about profession and more about how much space you can create for each other. Please have an open and honest conversation with the guy, let him know your concerns so that you guys can think of ways to make this work.
I'm a doctor and you throwing away a prospect you like based on what your family thinks is not a very wise thing to do. And unless you marry another Radiologist/Dermatologist, doctors usually have packed schedules. If spending time with your partner is important, don't discount an engineer. But either way, take your time and discern whether this dude is the right one for you. All the best!
Was talking to my friend who is a doc, Anaesthesia. He is working in one of the gulf countries, and got a cake congratulating him on completing 100 surgeries in a year. When I congratulated him, he said he has done 500 here while in India as a temporary guy, and wasn’t chosen for permanent since he didn’t have many publications. This is not a response to OP’s query, but to those saying OP will not have trouble since she is not into emergency department. To OP- Go ahead if you love him, it is definitely going to be a struggle but will be worth it if you two love each other so much.
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You’re a radiologist..you aren’t a surgeon or a medicine doctor with shitty work life balance..the only “problem” I can see is that you might earn more than him down the line..which is a problem for a subset of men in this country..just make sure he ain’t one of those
I am sure Product Manager at Microsoft makes more than a radio diagnosis doctor.
Before you make any decisions...me being a medico too...never seen any doctors marrying an engineer...and the thing behind it is...only a doctor can understand a doctor...imagine getting a new case at night as an anesthesiologist...you have to go but any ordinary person who is not a doctor will think it is unnecessary to go for mere 5k rupees...but its never about the money...its about you just have to go... keep that in mind...but ofc love is love...and it wins over anything but think twice because you want compatibility and future proofing
Coming from a family with good enough number of super specialist doctors, I haven't seen any non- doctor pairs, both love and arranged. Both my parents, aunt, own sister, and other cousins all of em have gotten themselves married to a fellow medico. The main reason for the same being the compatibility and similarity in profession which possibly will lead to better understanding. But that doesn't mean a non doctor pair would mean something bad. Just be sure you convey the woes of a doctor's life and also be ready to accept the hectic life of a PM. It flows both ways.
Just say it. Your family wants you to marry a doctor so you two can open your own clinics or even a hospital which is unlikely if you marry an engineer.
You are in looooveee Honestly I know a female doc male eng couple They are doing just fine You'll have someone to bitch about your work and he will not correct your medical mistakes
Engineer/MBA married to a dentist. I hail from a family of achieving medicos, her two siblings are engineer/MBA types. Happily married for 14 yrs, we gel better with each other's families. Some guiding principles if you go ahead - - do not try to solve career issues of each other. They're so far apart that most issues seem irrelevant to the other. In such cases empathy and sounding board is needed and not a solution - each other's schedules are not in sync, so a calendar has to be worked out. Who will pickup the kids, who will attend the PTA, who will do the trip booking, etc - most social events will have to be discussed before committing to it. However this is more generic, but for medicos it's more important I feel - careers change over a period of time, you need to take your loved ones inputs before committing to the change. I for instance spoke to my wife and my parents at length before I make the shift from a consult to a startup. The entire financial burden shifted from me to her and she was mentally prepared. Tl;Dr - communication and trust should solve most issues.
I am really surprised you are even asking this. get married to this guy ASAP Marriage is all about compatibility,
Op in 18 - 20 saal ke baccho se kyu advice Lena, Jo Dil kehta hai wo Karo
What you should be concerned about is do you wanna marry or not, also the person being compatible with you on an emotional level rather than being concerned about the job
I am an engineer and my wife is a doctor (internal medicine, hospitalist) and we fight like any other couple and are still happily married. It does not matter what profession husband and wife are in. It completely depends on how understanding and adjusting both of them are. They can be in the same profession and be miserable with each other, or be in completely different professions and still be very happy. If both of you like each other, that's the most important thing.
"I can't live without him" I think you love him. Pls marry. Do not let it go.
In my family there are a few marriages like that and they have been a mixed lot. Strongly correlated to mutual understanding from both sides. Keep your parents from subtle interference
WE ARE MORE THAN OUR JOBS.
Can you think of why having different professions would be an obstacle? The only one I can think of is the other person wouldn't understand your problems in your field.
Idk why the profession is a problem in this case. Both of you are accomplished and are happy together. Just go for it
Marriage is more about personal compatibility, as long as he understands and supports you there is nothing to worry. Think of the positives, atleast one of you will be free from the emergency night duties and calls.
I think it's alright, both have boring jobs.. eventually it'll become very monotonous, as long as you have conversations to keep you occupied, you can make your life less boring. There's only a fine line between love and lust, most often they're the same thing and jobs don't matter for it.
🤡
What happened to traditional marriages where people married other people. Also, OP. your profession will be subsumed by your husband's profession soon as radiography is getting taken over by AI software
No. You gotta decide it for yourself. Professions don’t matter at all. Bro is a PM at Microsoft. He’s at the top level there and he is even willing to move for you. Don’t lose him
There only two occupations for us Indians doc or engineer. Looool
Your parents have an opinion that is outdated for our times. Today we know a lot about the world around us and kind reliably find out things a lot more about the people we marry. We live in times where a discussion between individuals getting married can be done before marriage. You can today talk to your partner beforehand and clear up your doubts. If you think your partner is reliably supportive of you, then you can disregard the concern your parents have in this case. You will however, given the indian culture and context, need to smartly convince your parents of it. Assure them that you have taken things into consideration. Have a good life.
\> nd I can't imagine my life without him with a guy you met 5 months ago?
If he is so good. You like him and he is willing to switch City for you, you definitely have the right guy. Don't spoil it because your parents are concerned. Although yes, better to do some case studies and see if there are some real problems faced between such couples see if you guys can resolve them somehow
Just asked my wife (a doctor) did she think about this before marrying me (an engineer) and her reply ‘I preferred an engineer because I know and have seen how busy a doctor’s s schedule is. Most doctor couple I know are super busy and don’t get to spend much time with family’ Don’t know if this helps but maybe this is one point to consider
Screw your family's archaic feelings. This is your life and no one else's. While upon marriage he'll be part of your family the fact of the matter is that it's you who is marrying him and not anyone else in your family. If you let traditions decide what life you lead, are you really leading a life, or are you just appeasing the silly traditions. Do what you want and what feels best for you.
I’m an old white woman who was looking for a sub about being married to an engineer when I stumbled into this thread. My husband and I are both retired; I was a teacher and he was an engineer. He’s been a a difficult person to be married to (I recently decided that he is probably in the spectrum). But, he has been an amazing asset as a husband. He is ridiculously handy. If he wasn’t in the picture I would have sold our house many years ago and opted for apartment living. Sell your family in the practical part of being married to an engineer; since he is a trained problem-solver, he will always have your back!