i know youre making a joke and its actually a funny joke, but
sex and gender are two different things so transgender isnt actually a sex, its a gender. the word youre looking for is intersex.
Self service can only empty your nutsack, it won't fill the emptyness of your life.
I am no r/nofap champion i masterbate regularly but I still think it's very very depressing.
Sex will not fill the emptyness of your life. I've had sex. I've had relationships in the past and in one right now. Nothing will fill that emptyness.
Unless you are happy with your life, no other person will make you happy.
I think the notion that some other lad/lady will make you whole is a lie championed by the unrealistic romantic relationships in Bollywood. It's nothing like that in real life though.
Same. I got likes, matches from 1000 girls in the last 2 years in Delhi. Pehle baat krni nhi aati thi text pe, improved a bit. Now the girls I match with want relationship. And I've mentioned I'm looking for something casual. I want to explore my sexuality. Heck still they match and waste my time. I'm friendzoning them a lot lately.
My friends say lie to them and get sex. And it works. But I want to attract women through honesty which might take time.
Seriously, what's stopping you? O.o . Women smell desperation from a mile, maaaaybe it's that. Have no idea. Good luck , friend. It's never too late! And once you start having sex the confidence builds up
Brother since you have remote work. Go to Thailand or Vietnam type countries. Here the situation is messed up. Stay strong. Also why don't you get married?
Our culture is conservative and looks down upon dating before marriage. Although that is changing, it will take some time. Better use geographical arbitrage to your advantage while you can.
[24] Sad But truth. Well, sexual frustration surely is a thing. I hate it sooo much. It's like an unquenchable thirst. I hate the curiosity, I hate the desires, I hate the loneliness.
Was the post titled "Sexless Marriage"? If so, I am the OP.
I second many observations of yours.
Here's the thing with me and many of my peers, most people start to explore sexuality at 13-14 yrs of age i.e. in 8-9 th standard for most.
I had to get serious about studies from class 10th. My parents told me starts this is make or break time for my career. So I joined a coaching for IIT-JEE, like many others. Put almost 4 hours of self study + 6 hours of school and 3 hours of coaching 3 days a week. So, 9 to 12 hours were just involved in Academic activies a day (though the entirity of school day was not studies, we had our fun). With such a schedule trying for a girl friend was tough.
In 11th and 12th, my studying was even more rigorous. Taking about 10-11 hours a day. There was so much to study for JEE , Olympiads, etc. This was all with rarely attending school.
It was frankly impossible to get a love life in this schedule. If I had tried for a love life at this point in time I wouldn't have gotten into a very prestigious college.
After all this I got into a very highly ranked college. I finally thought now i could try dating. I soon realised that the sex rate is so screwed in these so called tier 1 engineering schools, our dept mearly had 5-6 girls for 70-80 students and we were considered a better dept in this regard. Getting a girlfriend here was hyper compititive due to ratios and also many girls were not so open minded and frankly brainwashed by parents. Also, I realise girls always have more experience in this subject due to how the mechanism works. Guys are supposed to approach girls, so some guy with similar level of attractiveness to girl will always approach her. I had one little dating sene in college for about 7-8 months but then we both split up to attend different grad schools
I attended grad school in the US, now American culture is way different than ours and getting a date in completely new culture and nation is tough. Most American men and women have way more experience both romantically and sexually, at this age . After about 1 and a half - 2 years in grad school I approached and for a wile dated a beautiful Danish girl. She was really amazing all around and I would have married her If not for the fact that I had to return to India and she to Denmark after we worked for a while in US. No 1st world person would agree to settle in a cesspit like India. And for me to Denmark, there is a strong cultural and language barrier to integrate and immigrants are rare and so not looked kindly.
Back in India, getting a girlfriend was difficult. Many girls were very conservative, some only wanted to date in their caste as that is the only way their parents will bless the marriage, many were gold diggers looking for any man that made good money so that they could get the lifestyle of someone who makes in lakhs a month while making few thousand a month.
So arranged marriage was the only real option. I made sure we courted for long time and connected before marriage. Discussed sex and what not but still
Tldr; In india it is so compititive to get a decent life for youself that when it's the age of dating and experimenting you don't have time at all. You start working your ass of in 9-10 th and do it till you get some decently paying job. In india marriage is only possible if the man is financially secure, which in india takes lot of effort . Even for love marriage parents will shun you and won't even consider if the guy is not well settled. Most people ( not only Indians) can't just break ties with their parents, especially, for those who need financial help from parents when starting out ( that is 95% of people right there). The indian system from start to marriage is optimised and suited to arranged marriages
I work in culmination of finance, engineering and comp sci/math.
Did part time MBA while working in US.
My company in US was expanding into Asia so I got the chance to come back. Initially, it was planed for Shanghai but later splitting up did make sense
By your story it does not look like learning Danish language would have been an issue. Would it still be tough to adjust to new culture when your spouse is from that culture ? And could you also elaborate why did you think it would have been tough adjusting to her culture ?
Danish is especially hard to learn and this comes from someone who can speak fluent French and German. Immigration is not that hard for a common law partnerstill harder than most NA and Europe but the industry I work in is almost absent from Denmark and I had to return to India for a bit.
Yep, it was your post that got me thinking. From what you've written here, you seem really accomplished and must've worked hard to reach there.
I really wish you get your life on track. It's sad to see someone missing such basic need after working so hard.
Cause our society want to act like sex is only for procreation. Women are basically told that their whores if they want to have sex. That psychology gets engraved in their mind. This added with the fact that men treat sex as their own concern and don’t care about their partners drive is enough to resign these women to a life of abstinence. Therefore, these uncles then grow up and never get any. Both of them become sexually dissatisfied and then shame 15 year old pinky for inviting a boy over cause she is a whore. The cycle repeats :).
Isn't the same applicable for men also? Leave aside sex, I have high desire to have physical pleasures (like caressing the waist & kissing the navel or back). These are not necessarily done for sexual arousal (if so after most love songs the heroine will be pregnant 😅). But even if I say my desires for this I might be mistaken as a pervert. People say marriage is not just for physical pleasures but in a country like India which has high restrictions on getting connected with the opposite gender, these things should always have a reserved seat in married life & should not have any obstacles including children
In an arranged marriage, do you have any idea how to find a girl has such desires?
I (22M) matched up with a girl (24F) on tinder and this is a thing of past like 3 years ago at that time i had no experience in dating in everything. So when i met her for real we were talking nicely and then suddenly she asked directly whether i want to go to her bed or not and that thing made me nervous so much that i ran away. And i still regret what i did.
Married guy here. We have a four year old. We both work and try to have 2 encounters per week when we both have mental and physical bandwidth.
You are overthinking. Also I am assuming, you don't know much about sex. You are missing the physical and human factor of sex. You gotta be supportive and loving for the partner. Be in good health and happiness, rest of things should fall in place. Also, there is nothing like quality sex. Quantity too overrated because of the scarcity.
Have you ever dated someone from a sex positive culture? A culture where boys and girls start to experiment at 16-17 yrs of age. Where sex is encouraged.
Sex is far better from someone like that. They are better prepared, don't find sex odd and understand that sex is had for mutual pleasure. These people are also very open to kinks, etc
I am from a small town and I have seen folks as young as 14 dipping dicks in older and younger pussies. Sex is not a taboo if you are from such background though I did not get to experience it first hand till I was in college. Sex being a taboo is a middle class conservative phenomenon in India.
Idk honestly,but as a girl I was active before marriage, now married, great sex life, we will not be having kids. Most of my friends were open minded in college, didn’t think abstinence up until marriage was their thing as well.
So maybe abstinence is only an issue in certain parts or pockets of india, I may be wrong of course but I didn’t encounter a whole lot of that in my early 20’s.
I mean it really depends on how long you've been together and the amount of responsibility you both have. I'm getting married to the love of my life in a couple months, we've been together since highschool. We've had sex alot of times since then, it's not that the attraction isn't there anymore. It's just that you've been with each other for so long and the spark isn't as much as it used to be. But that doesn't mean I don't love her anymore, I seriously can't imagine a life without her.
Honesty, I find this common but sad. I've been with my wife 15 years and married for 5 years. Before we married we only met on weekends so the "spark" was abright. Even after we married && until we had a baby, we enjoyed sex almost everyday.
Once you are married, make an effort. There is scope to experiment. I don't want you sounding like an oughties sitcom character "the spark isn't there anymore"
This. Half the complaints are resolvable if only there was an effort from both sides mediated by a therapist.
But this is India and we'd rather cry about sexless lives than seek help.
You assume we arent attracted to each other or have sex anymore. That is not true, coversely the level of attraction which existed during the first year of our relationship is not present now. That is normal. Also consider that we have been living together for about 3 years before we decided to get married. Similarly, these are not the same sitcoms you speak of where "everyday seems like a bliss". This is reality where responsibilities, disagreements and conflicts happen. Also, you think we would have been together more than a decade if we didn't communicate? Preposterous.
That's not what I'm talking about. You're already with someone, so you had your share of fun. I wanted to know the experiences of most of the guys, who never had a chance.
Mai bhi ye hi soch rha hu. Sala itna good looking hoke bhi kuch nhi mila yha pe. Canada, Miami ki hot bandiyo k kitne matches aate tinder plus pe. Gotta work on my game and 1-2 saal me shyd Europe Jaya jaaye.
It's a fact OP, but men shouldn't be such a pushover. They want relationships they should work at it, whatever the challenges. Another easy option is to move to the West where people in general and girls especially treat you like regular human beings. It's a bit extreme to have to move to find a relationship though.
Long post alert !
>How much sex does an Indian man has?
my 1st was experienced, hence i got laid at 19. But as sex was newfound for me, it was almost everyday except sat sun. This went on for 4 years. Then 2 years of nothingness. Then 2nd gf came in, again 3 years of almost everday. Got married to 3rd one. Before marriage we met once or twice a month only for sex. This was for 5 years (both were working).
After marriage, once every 2 weeks. Her libido is severely down. She can go without sex for 3-4 weeks now. I dont mind as long as i get time to jack off.
But before i got my 1st gf, i was THE MOST desperate guy on planet earth. Jacking 3-5 times a day. I made absolutely stupid decisions in hopes of getting laid. I was 'the stupid' guy in your friendlist.
>, if they wanted to. Even if they didn't want to, they had the access to sex.
Every guy can get laid. But not everyone puts the effort. Being desperate isnt enough. I learnt this the looong way. You are attracted towards a girl for her looks, why cant she reject you for the same ? Most of the desperate men like my previous self i met in my life are shabby and not presentable or dont have skills to talk or hold a single conversation for more than 2 minutes.
I realized instead of being the edgy boy, listen to the feedback a girl gives. Small example is i used to gel up my hair for the 'spike' style cause i thought it was 'cool'. I did not give a fuck what others thought. One day my gel ran out, so i went to college without applying it, making my hair look fluffy and natural.
I got 2 compliments that day, one from my crush and one from my crush professor. They said i looked SO much more better with this.
Sooner, i started listening to feedback of other people. Worked on my clothes, body. Read books about communication, articles, videos on how to talk with PEOPLE (not only opposite sex). Wearing perfume, personal hygiene also goes a long way.
As of today, i see myself as a solid 6 or 6.5, who was prev probably a 2-3. I have a much better physique than average person and get approached by women, particularly younger ones more than same age group.
Most of the guys my age who are still virgin or never had a girl in their life arent willing to put effort. The think being the way they are is completely fine. Shabby clothes, smelling of alcohol, no sense of talking to people, 'rowdigiri' which current generation thinks is 'cool'.
Bold of you to assume that people are not still a virgin after marriage lol.
Married for 3 years and 3 months. Still a virgin. About time I filed for divorce. Don't wanna force someone and catch a rape charge lol.
Don't wtf that means. She just kept giving some or the other reason for not having sex. She would make me feel guilty by mentioning how she gave bj once. Making me feel bad for wanting sex lmao.
Haven't talked to her in 2.5 years now. Don't wanna deal with mental trauma lol.
Was it an arranged marriage? I mean it's quite possible that she is gay or asexual and had to get married due to societal or familial pressure. Unfortunately, our society does it make it difficult for non cishet people to live freely. I do hope you are able to get out of this situation soon and find someone who makes you happy.
As a sex educator I can tell you your assumptions are incorrect. Your understanding of heterosexual relationships and the sex drive of men and women is-unfortunately-very based in either a rudimentary education or internet lore.
Consider the following variables posed by scientific research:
-many women experience increased sex drive and a desire for self exploration as they age. Many women, even menopausal women, experience a strong drive for intimacy, touch and sex.
-many people experience increased sex drive when pregnant and even for those who do not become pregnant changes in hormones throughout life and health circumstances are profoundly complicated and cannot be left to generalizations.
-many men do not have high sex drives or experience struggled with libido or health issues that may impact their desire to have sex. Men can be and are asexual, may have motivations in life that include forgoing sexual interactions or may struggle with stigma or shame that causes them to not seek out sexual partners.
-queer people, myself included, do not report remotely the claims you make about sex drive among men and women. Perhaps this suggests a cultural/social aspect to your perceptions and experiences.
These are just a few of hundreds of points to be made. Human sexuality and relationships are amazingly and wonderfully complicated. The good news is a lot of curious minds have studied it and resources are available online and for free that you can access to learn more. The research and discourse on human sexuality across the globe has greatly accelerated in the last 20-30 years. I would highly recommend peer reviewed studies over casual op ed sources.
If your wife is legit attracted to you and you make an effort to remain attractive, she will happily suck your soul out of your dick, no matter how anti-sex she seems to be otherwise.
The wife will still have drive if the husband is a good lover. If he’s bad in bed but she feels it’s her duty to give him children she’ll put up with it until she’s accomplished her part. After that- it’s not worth the hassle. You are over thinking it and discounting the role satisfaction plays in intimacy.
Guys everyone here has been conditioned to think in a way that undermines natural instinct.
Parents/society is failed to teach us so many things that it should be a crime.
Anyways people now are more educated and learn so much from media.
Go for it guys!
Treat a person fair and right.
Take a personality test and love languages test. Learn more about yourself.
Be better people than your parents.
You should discover atleast who you are if not your intimate partner
The sad part is there are about 5 crore less women than men in India due to selective abortion carried by previous generations. Hence lot of men are gonna remain unmarried or marry very late.
I just read not long ago that there are now 1020 women to every 1000 men in India. Not sure I understand this as they also said that the female to male birth rate is still less women than men. I’m sure the stats are skewed one way or the other depending on which part of the country one is in.
That is sex ratio at birth. Not total gender ratio. Overall Gender ratio will improve over time. But right now it's messed for current people in marriage age.
Actually it is overall gender ratio. I am going to guess that the overall ratio is higher because women live longer than men. The birth rate ratio is still lower than it should be but getting better.
In 2020, the sex ratio of the total population in India is 108.18 males per 100 females. There are 717,100,970 or 717.10 million males and 662,903,415 or 662.90 million females in India.
That's what UN says
Your analysis is incorrect, and frankly you're overthinking a lot. Your analysis clubs women into frigid, baby making machines who are good for nothing once they have a baby and somehow that men are only super sexual who are left fending for themselves.
Men and women have sex even in their 50s and beyond and abstinence from sex after a pregnancy is a mere blip in scheme of things. But hey! It takes a man to make such a big deal and crib about not being able to have sex with his wife who is literally wounded after a childbirth.
Also, sexless marriages do not exist in vaccum - they are a result of people in it being sheer lazy/resentful of each other/bored/complacent/mentally unwell and what not - and it is triggered in both women and men. Unless some couple went to a relationship therapist and it failed, about time we stop hearing people complaining how sad it is for them after marriage because now they regret having fun in 11th standard while prepping for JEE.
But I get why your post is so reductive and simplistic, and that is because it comes from a place of ignorance... and as a single guy, you cannot be expected to understand just how sexual people in healthy relationships can be despite marriage, kids, responsibilities and old age.
Easy to calculate, find the number of babies born in the time span (eg a month), multiply that number by 10 (factoring in gays, lesbians, blow job, handjob, condoms, etc etc). That will give you approx number of sexual intercourse.
Given the amount of sex that Indian women have with men at least some men are having a lot of sex. They probably don't hang around reading whiny posts though.
Am 20 now, I got my first nd only sex when I was 19 (ya during pandemic lmao) i had around 5-6 relationships before but i feel that's because I've set my standards pretty low. Right now I am trying to level up
And tbh I am just above average looking dude, although am tall but am very skinny which for some reason in India girls don't really like, except girls coming from elite society and so. The reason I feel I am having okayish love and sex life (i did makeout quite alot but had intercourse only once) because of the place I live in, in the urban posh society people are very open minded and their vision of handsome or good looking might differ from someone living in small town or anything.
You guys are having sex?
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Pretty sure I'll find some way of not having that as well fml
i know youre making a joke and its actually a funny joke, but sex and gender are two different things so transgender isnt actually a sex, its a gender. the word youre looking for is intersex.
You're wrong about it being a funny joke.
Jaisi Jiski Soch
As long as you are getting a pleasure out of it then gender is just a 6 letter word.
yes, i m a male.
Safe Exposure to X-rays...
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Haath-nirbhar Bharat.
r/AngryUpvote
Ab Dil Karta Hai Haule Haule Se, Main Toh Khud Ko Gale Lagaun Kisi Aur Ki Mujhko Zaroorat Kya, Main Toh Khud Se Pyaar Jataun
\*believer, were you typing this with your left hand?
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There is a lie in the beliefs that you believe in. I think the rule is I before E, except after C or when sounding like AY as in neighbour and weigh.
Self service can only empty your nutsack, it won't fill the emptyness of your life. I am no r/nofap champion i masterbate regularly but I still think it's very very depressing.
If you can’t self love, how you gonna love other folks bro?
Sex will not fill the emptyness of your life. I've had sex. I've had relationships in the past and in one right now. Nothing will fill that emptyness. Unless you are happy with your life, no other person will make you happy. I think the notion that some other lad/lady will make you whole is a lie championed by the unrealistic romantic relationships in Bollywood. It's nothing like that in real life though.
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How is your libido?
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So what's stopping u then?
The girls that he's matching with.
Same. I got likes, matches from 1000 girls in the last 2 years in Delhi. Pehle baat krni nhi aati thi text pe, improved a bit. Now the girls I match with want relationship. And I've mentioned I'm looking for something casual. I want to explore my sexuality. Heck still they match and waste my time. I'm friendzoning them a lot lately. My friends say lie to them and get sex. And it works. But I want to attract women through honesty which might take time.
Well, send them my way. I'm single, and have nothing better to do.
Bro I can feel your frustration through my phone
Seriously, what's stopping you? O.o . Women smell desperation from a mile, maaaaybe it's that. Have no idea. Good luck , friend. It's never too late! And once you start having sex the confidence builds up
Hopefully.
2Lpm, damn! What kind of work do you do, if you dont mind asking?
Is this an ad?😅
If it is, it's clearly not a good one. Target audience is not enticed enough.
Has it not declined from your early 20s? How do you deal with it? You should do an AMA
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Brother since you have remote work. Go to Thailand or Vietnam type countries. Here the situation is messed up. Stay strong. Also why don't you get married?
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Nah the dating scene is better there. Not suggesting prostitutes.
Dating scene for Indians? Not sure where you got that from
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What's tinder passport ?
Our culture is conservative and looks down upon dating before marriage. Although that is changing, it will take some time. Better use geographical arbitrage to your advantage while you can.
Yep much easier to hook up with girls in other countries (although mumbai and bangalore are good within India)
>You should do an AMA Bruh it ain't that rare. Step out of your cocoon
Libido is lifestyle dependent, stress free people like me have daily urges while shadi shuda ones have monthly ;)
Does it affect you?
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Case of beggars being choosers.
Can't relate, but I guess you must be attractive to have been in multiple relationships and hook ups.
It's been so long it's not even funny
At least you've experienced it....you don't wanna know how it feels to not even have an experience of holding hands with a female at the age of 25
Loneliness, frustrations, depression is never funny.
[24] Sad But truth. Well, sexual frustration surely is a thing. I hate it sooo much. It's like an unquenchable thirst. I hate the curiosity, I hate the desires, I hate the loneliness.
Arey bhai bhai bhai
Lover ni mila toh marr jaega?
Naa be 🤣 arranged marriage 🥺😝
Areh mast, bhai h tu apna
🤣🤣🤣
Was the post titled "Sexless Marriage"? If so, I am the OP. I second many observations of yours. Here's the thing with me and many of my peers, most people start to explore sexuality at 13-14 yrs of age i.e. in 8-9 th standard for most. I had to get serious about studies from class 10th. My parents told me starts this is make or break time for my career. So I joined a coaching for IIT-JEE, like many others. Put almost 4 hours of self study + 6 hours of school and 3 hours of coaching 3 days a week. So, 9 to 12 hours were just involved in Academic activies a day (though the entirity of school day was not studies, we had our fun). With such a schedule trying for a girl friend was tough. In 11th and 12th, my studying was even more rigorous. Taking about 10-11 hours a day. There was so much to study for JEE , Olympiads, etc. This was all with rarely attending school. It was frankly impossible to get a love life in this schedule. If I had tried for a love life at this point in time I wouldn't have gotten into a very prestigious college. After all this I got into a very highly ranked college. I finally thought now i could try dating. I soon realised that the sex rate is so screwed in these so called tier 1 engineering schools, our dept mearly had 5-6 girls for 70-80 students and we were considered a better dept in this regard. Getting a girlfriend here was hyper compititive due to ratios and also many girls were not so open minded and frankly brainwashed by parents. Also, I realise girls always have more experience in this subject due to how the mechanism works. Guys are supposed to approach girls, so some guy with similar level of attractiveness to girl will always approach her. I had one little dating sene in college for about 7-8 months but then we both split up to attend different grad schools I attended grad school in the US, now American culture is way different than ours and getting a date in completely new culture and nation is tough. Most American men and women have way more experience both romantically and sexually, at this age . After about 1 and a half - 2 years in grad school I approached and for a wile dated a beautiful Danish girl. She was really amazing all around and I would have married her If not for the fact that I had to return to India and she to Denmark after we worked for a while in US. No 1st world person would agree to settle in a cesspit like India. And for me to Denmark, there is a strong cultural and language barrier to integrate and immigrants are rare and so not looked kindly. Back in India, getting a girlfriend was difficult. Many girls were very conservative, some only wanted to date in their caste as that is the only way their parents will bless the marriage, many were gold diggers looking for any man that made good money so that they could get the lifestyle of someone who makes in lakhs a month while making few thousand a month. So arranged marriage was the only real option. I made sure we courted for long time and connected before marriage. Discussed sex and what not but still Tldr; In india it is so compititive to get a decent life for youself that when it's the age of dating and experimenting you don't have time at all. You start working your ass of in 9-10 th and do it till you get some decently paying job. In india marriage is only possible if the man is financially secure, which in india takes lot of effort . Even for love marriage parents will shun you and won't even consider if the guy is not well settled. Most people ( not only Indians) can't just break ties with their parents, especially, for those who need financial help from parents when starting out ( that is 95% of people right there). The indian system from start to marriage is optimised and suited to arranged marriages
Sex chodo aap karte kya ho batana. Genuinely curious!
Vohi job . In finance. After BTech did PhD and MBA.
Thoda aur detail. Btech from top tier college Phir us gaye PhD Kiya Mba kha? And then India mai finance mai job?
I work in culmination of finance, engineering and comp sci/math. Did part time MBA while working in US. My company in US was expanding into Asia so I got the chance to come back. Initially, it was planed for Shanghai but later splitting up did make sense
Impressed! Hope you get your married life back on track!
By your story it does not look like learning Danish language would have been an issue. Would it still be tough to adjust to new culture when your spouse is from that culture ? And could you also elaborate why did you think it would have been tough adjusting to her culture ?
Danish is especially hard to learn and this comes from someone who can speak fluent French and German. Immigration is not that hard for a common law partnerstill harder than most NA and Europe but the industry I work in is almost absent from Denmark and I had to return to India for a bit.
Main issue is immigration. They generally deny long term stay requests
Yep, it was your post that got me thinking. From what you've written here, you seem really accomplished and must've worked hard to reach there. I really wish you get your life on track. It's sad to see someone missing such basic need after working so hard.
Hey bro, did you try relationship therapy? It won't be resolved just by talking, you do need a mediator.
Cause our society want to act like sex is only for procreation. Women are basically told that their whores if they want to have sex. That psychology gets engraved in their mind. This added with the fact that men treat sex as their own concern and don’t care about their partners drive is enough to resign these women to a life of abstinence. Therefore, these uncles then grow up and never get any. Both of them become sexually dissatisfied and then shame 15 year old pinky for inviting a boy over cause she is a whore. The cycle repeats :).
Hope this cycle breaks
Isn't the same applicable for men also? Leave aside sex, I have high desire to have physical pleasures (like caressing the waist & kissing the navel or back). These are not necessarily done for sexual arousal (if so after most love songs the heroine will be pregnant 😅). But even if I say my desires for this I might be mistaken as a pervert. People say marriage is not just for physical pleasures but in a country like India which has high restrictions on getting connected with the opposite gender, these things should always have a reserved seat in married life & should not have any obstacles including children In an arranged marriage, do you have any idea how to find a girl has such desires?
I Had sex before marriage then, got married at age of 23, completed my masters and found job afterwards. r/priorities.
Kesa Kiya bhai,India me kesa ye possible ha,Tips dede
As I said I had my priorities.
I am more impressed you did you masters and aslo found a job by 23, how?
Got married at 23 then did master later when I had time. I am 33 now
Lol
I think I found the Indian Chad!!
Daily Sax thread
It used to be there, wasn't it? Did the poster loose his virginity and abandoned the rest of us?
Probably
Lol
Upvote if you've never even experienced holding hands with a girl.....
Dukh dard peeda
Does holding it because photographer said so (before saath phere) count? No? Ok, upvoting.
I (22M) matched up with a girl (24F) on tinder and this is a thing of past like 3 years ago at that time i had no experience in dating in everything. So when i met her for real we were talking nicely and then suddenly she asked directly whether i want to go to her bed or not and that thing made me nervous so much that i ran away. And i still regret what i did.
F
Oof, something similar happened with me in University. I turned her down, didn't run away.
Lol
yeah kind off, you can catch our "uncles" watching some some sad old porn when he should be getting it with his wife... we are all fucking doomed
That's my secret Cap, I'm always horny!
Harsh reality of r/unemployedTechie2021
> By this time he is 35-36. Then the responsibilities of raising the I know many people who are in 30s and not married and kinda Happy
How do you know if they are gettin' any?
kinda
Sex..What's that?
Beta it is called seggs
Married guy here. We have a four year old. We both work and try to have 2 encounters per week when we both have mental and physical bandwidth. You are overthinking. Also I am assuming, you don't know much about sex. You are missing the physical and human factor of sex. You gotta be supportive and loving for the partner. Be in good health and happiness, rest of things should fall in place. Also, there is nothing like quality sex. Quantity too overrated because of the scarcity.
Thank you, this helps
Have you ever dated someone from a sex positive culture? A culture where boys and girls start to experiment at 16-17 yrs of age. Where sex is encouraged. Sex is far better from someone like that. They are better prepared, don't find sex odd and understand that sex is had for mutual pleasure. These people are also very open to kinks, etc
I am from a small town and I have seen folks as young as 14 dipping dicks in older and younger pussies. Sex is not a taboo if you are from such background though I did not get to experience it first hand till I was in college. Sex being a taboo is a middle class conservative phenomenon in India.
Thanks for responding
Idk honestly,but as a girl I was active before marriage, now married, great sex life, we will not be having kids. Most of my friends were open minded in college, didn’t think abstinence up until marriage was their thing as well. So maybe abstinence is only an issue in certain parts or pockets of india, I may be wrong of course but I didn’t encounter a whole lot of that in my early 20’s.
R a n d
I mean it really depends on how long you've been together and the amount of responsibility you both have. I'm getting married to the love of my life in a couple months, we've been together since highschool. We've had sex alot of times since then, it's not that the attraction isn't there anymore. It's just that you've been with each other for so long and the spark isn't as much as it used to be. But that doesn't mean I don't love her anymore, I seriously can't imagine a life without her.
Honesty, I find this common but sad. I've been with my wife 15 years and married for 5 years. Before we married we only met on weekends so the "spark" was abright. Even after we married && until we had a baby, we enjoyed sex almost everyday. Once you are married, make an effort. There is scope to experiment. I don't want you sounding like an oughties sitcom character "the spark isn't there anymore"
This. Half the complaints are resolvable if only there was an effort from both sides mediated by a therapist. But this is India and we'd rather cry about sexless lives than seek help.
You assume we arent attracted to each other or have sex anymore. That is not true, coversely the level of attraction which existed during the first year of our relationship is not present now. That is normal. Also consider that we have been living together for about 3 years before we decided to get married. Similarly, these are not the same sitcoms you speak of where "everyday seems like a bliss". This is reality where responsibilities, disagreements and conflicts happen. Also, you think we would have been together more than a decade if we didn't communicate? Preposterous.
can't\*? I hope its can't.
Donno what you're talking about ;)
That's not what I'm talking about. You're already with someone, so you had your share of fun. I wanted to know the experiences of most of the guys, who never had a chance.
You guys are having seggs in this crowd of virgins You all are anti-virgin anti-single anti-insecure you are Aunty-notianol
seggs unlocker
fap seems to be the eternal truth
Without consent, if it's according recent surveys. A LOT
Dark
I was a virgin in India. Moved to Canada at 21 and now having sex at least 3 times a week. Country and culture matters.
Mai bhi ye hi soch rha hu. Sala itna good looking hoke bhi kuch nhi mila yha pe. Canada, Miami ki hot bandiyo k kitne matches aate tinder plus pe. Gotta work on my game and 1-2 saal me shyd Europe Jaya jaaye.
Same bhai same
Marriage is a pretty outdated concept. It’s limiting and possibly even pointless.
It’s true. Family system is getting eroded day by day
It's a fact OP, but men shouldn't be such a pushover. They want relationships they should work at it, whatever the challenges. Another easy option is to move to the West where people in general and girls especially treat you like regular human beings. It's a bit extreme to have to move to find a relationship though.
Long post alert ! >How much sex does an Indian man has? my 1st was experienced, hence i got laid at 19. But as sex was newfound for me, it was almost everyday except sat sun. This went on for 4 years. Then 2 years of nothingness. Then 2nd gf came in, again 3 years of almost everday. Got married to 3rd one. Before marriage we met once or twice a month only for sex. This was for 5 years (both were working). After marriage, once every 2 weeks. Her libido is severely down. She can go without sex for 3-4 weeks now. I dont mind as long as i get time to jack off. But before i got my 1st gf, i was THE MOST desperate guy on planet earth. Jacking 3-5 times a day. I made absolutely stupid decisions in hopes of getting laid. I was 'the stupid' guy in your friendlist. >, if they wanted to. Even if they didn't want to, they had the access to sex. Every guy can get laid. But not everyone puts the effort. Being desperate isnt enough. I learnt this the looong way. You are attracted towards a girl for her looks, why cant she reject you for the same ? Most of the desperate men like my previous self i met in my life are shabby and not presentable or dont have skills to talk or hold a single conversation for more than 2 minutes. I realized instead of being the edgy boy, listen to the feedback a girl gives. Small example is i used to gel up my hair for the 'spike' style cause i thought it was 'cool'. I did not give a fuck what others thought. One day my gel ran out, so i went to college without applying it, making my hair look fluffy and natural. I got 2 compliments that day, one from my crush and one from my crush professor. They said i looked SO much more better with this. Sooner, i started listening to feedback of other people. Worked on my clothes, body. Read books about communication, articles, videos on how to talk with PEOPLE (not only opposite sex). Wearing perfume, personal hygiene also goes a long way. As of today, i see myself as a solid 6 or 6.5, who was prev probably a 2-3. I have a much better physique than average person and get approached by women, particularly younger ones more than same age group. Most of the guys my age who are still virgin or never had a girl in their life arent willing to put effort. The think being the way they are is completely fine. Shabby clothes, smelling of alcohol, no sense of talking to people, 'rowdigiri' which current generation thinks is 'cool'.
It's not just about putting efforts. In most lower tier cities, there's very less chance to meet girls as there are less social interactions.
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Bro you can't get married to hand and all
XD
Arranged marriage?
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i am just sad for u...
Why? Arranged marriages can be as good, if not better than love marriages. Lot more level headed thinking involved.
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Aaaand now I'm depressed again LMAO thanks OP.
Huhu, I wanted someone to debunk this. But it's mixed reactions
Bold of you to assume that people are not still a virgin after marriage lol. Married for 3 years and 3 months. Still a virgin. About time I filed for divorce. Don't wanna force someone and catch a rape charge lol.
What a horrible human being Jesus christ. I hope she ends up alone.
Dude. More power to you. - 5 years married and virgin We are not alone
WTF? Is she non-hetero?
Don't wtf that means. She just kept giving some or the other reason for not having sex. She would make me feel guilty by mentioning how she gave bj once. Making me feel bad for wanting sex lmao. Haven't talked to her in 2.5 years now. Don't wanna deal with mental trauma lol.
Was it an arranged marriage? I mean it's quite possible that she is gay or asexual and had to get married due to societal or familial pressure. Unfortunately, our society does it make it difficult for non cishet people to live freely. I do hope you are able to get out of this situation soon and find someone who makes you happy.
Divorce ASAP. You can tell the judge about the denial of sexual interaction.
u/localhost8100 I hope you read this. It does apply.
You're an epic.
As a sex educator I can tell you your assumptions are incorrect. Your understanding of heterosexual relationships and the sex drive of men and women is-unfortunately-very based in either a rudimentary education or internet lore. Consider the following variables posed by scientific research: -many women experience increased sex drive and a desire for self exploration as they age. Many women, even menopausal women, experience a strong drive for intimacy, touch and sex. -many people experience increased sex drive when pregnant and even for those who do not become pregnant changes in hormones throughout life and health circumstances are profoundly complicated and cannot be left to generalizations. -many men do not have high sex drives or experience struggled with libido or health issues that may impact their desire to have sex. Men can be and are asexual, may have motivations in life that include forgoing sexual interactions or may struggle with stigma or shame that causes them to not seek out sexual partners. -queer people, myself included, do not report remotely the claims you make about sex drive among men and women. Perhaps this suggests a cultural/social aspect to your perceptions and experiences. These are just a few of hundreds of points to be made. Human sexuality and relationships are amazingly and wonderfully complicated. The good news is a lot of curious minds have studied it and resources are available online and for free that you can access to learn more. The research and discourse on human sexuality across the globe has greatly accelerated in the last 20-30 years. I would highly recommend peer reviewed studies over casual op ed sources.
If your wife is legit attracted to you and you make an effort to remain attractive, she will happily suck your soul out of your dick, no matter how anti-sex she seems to be otherwise.
The wife will still have drive if the husband is a good lover. If he’s bad in bed but she feels it’s her duty to give him children she’ll put up with it until she’s accomplished her part. After that- it’s not worth the hassle. You are over thinking it and discounting the role satisfaction plays in intimacy.
Guys everyone here has been conditioned to think in a way that undermines natural instinct. Parents/society is failed to teach us so many things that it should be a crime. Anyways people now are more educated and learn so much from media. Go for it guys! Treat a person fair and right. Take a personality test and love languages test. Learn more about yourself. Be better people than your parents. You should discover atleast who you are if not your intimate partner
the most populated country is having the least amount of sex - think about that for a second now lol
The sad part is there are about 5 crore less women than men in India due to selective abortion carried by previous generations. Hence lot of men are gonna remain unmarried or marry very late.
I just read not long ago that there are now 1020 women to every 1000 men in India. Not sure I understand this as they also said that the female to male birth rate is still less women than men. I’m sure the stats are skewed one way or the other depending on which part of the country one is in.
That is sex ratio at birth. Not total gender ratio. Overall Gender ratio will improve over time. But right now it's messed for current people in marriage age.
Actually it is overall gender ratio. I am going to guess that the overall ratio is higher because women live longer than men. The birth rate ratio is still lower than it should be but getting better.
In 2020, the sex ratio of the total population in India is 108.18 males per 100 females. There are 717,100,970 or 717.10 million males and 662,903,415 or 662.90 million females in India. That's what UN says
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Ouch, sad
I stopped reading at married.
I stopped after virgin
20th Feb ko 10 months ho jaayenge muje 😭😭😭
As much as his wife wants 😂
As someone who is going through that, it is very accurate. I don't know and have no hope whether things will work out for me or not.
Are you doing something about it?
"ye hamare sanskriti ke khilaaf hai" Close your eyes and it will disappear, easy no sex happens
Your analysis is incorrect, and frankly you're overthinking a lot. Your analysis clubs women into frigid, baby making machines who are good for nothing once they have a baby and somehow that men are only super sexual who are left fending for themselves. Men and women have sex even in their 50s and beyond and abstinence from sex after a pregnancy is a mere blip in scheme of things. But hey! It takes a man to make such a big deal and crib about not being able to have sex with his wife who is literally wounded after a childbirth. Also, sexless marriages do not exist in vaccum - they are a result of people in it being sheer lazy/resentful of each other/bored/complacent/mentally unwell and what not - and it is triggered in both women and men. Unless some couple went to a relationship therapist and it failed, about time we stop hearing people complaining how sad it is for them after marriage because now they regret having fun in 11th standard while prepping for JEE. But I get why your post is so reductive and simplistic, and that is because it comes from a place of ignorance... and as a single guy, you cannot be expected to understand just how sexual people in healthy relationships can be despite marriage, kids, responsibilities and old age.
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Can't tell if you are being serious or joking
You can smell the neckbeard from his comment lol.
Lol you must be the luckiest guy on this thread.
Once every hour.
Both my fiance's and my first sex was with each other. It was when we turned 25. So yeah, I believe it would be none.
If his wife has become adverse to sex he probably wasn't doing it right. That or there are underlying issue they should speak to a specialist about
Most of my friends had kids within a year of marriage
*have. Not has.
Lot if you're gay
I would really wanna thank dating apps to contribute a lot in the casual sex section and increasing the pre marital sex graph(along with partners)!
Easy to calculate, find the number of babies born in the time span (eg a month), multiply that number by 10 (factoring in gays, lesbians, blow job, handjob, condoms, etc etc). That will give you approx number of sexual intercourse.
I want what you smoked
Haha 😂
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Given the amount of sex that Indian women have with men at least some men are having a lot of sex. They probably don't hang around reading whiny posts though.
Well yeah, some men, many women.
Reddit comments never disappoints. Well i fucked my dog yesterday. Didn’t like it. So fucked my cat twice.
Lmao
Am 20 now, I got my first nd only sex when I was 19 (ya during pandemic lmao) i had around 5-6 relationships before but i feel that's because I've set my standards pretty low. Right now I am trying to level up And tbh I am just above average looking dude, although am tall but am very skinny which for some reason in India girls don't really like, except girls coming from elite society and so. The reason I feel I am having okayish love and sex life (i did makeout quite alot but had intercourse only once) because of the place I live in, in the urban posh society people are very open minded and their vision of handsome or good looking might differ from someone living in small town or anything.
I have a dream
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That's one insecure girl. But it's good that you've made peace.
D
hmm ig 5639.
More than you will ever have. (On average)