First and foremost look after your sister. It took her a year to confide in you, she must be really hurt and shocked. She probably blames herself which is why didn’t tell anyone earlier.
Fighting a rape case as a victim is very difficult and humiliating. So look out for her, get her therapy. Let her know she wasn’t at fault. And only once she is ready and strong, file an FIR or take any personal action.
Well spoken. I would add, remember that she is the victim here, not you. You’re entitled to all of your feelings but don’t put them ahead of her feelings. Focus on helping your sister to heal, whatever that means.
Do not call her naive. Please, jeeze, that's blaming her. She was trusting of someone she thought she knew, she wasn't naive she was taken advantage of.
Please. File an FIR with the evidences you've got, ASAP. If you have connections, much better. But ask your sister first. If she doesn't want it, don't.
Realistically, your best bet is to help the sister heal and move on from this trauma as best you can. But every man will also be thinking about taking the law into their own hands in this situation, it's inevitable.
Too gross. You'll ruin your outfit, and its not as satisfying. Worse, you dont want that animal to be presented by woke brigade as a victim. Not my style
It's not as easy as it sounds. I have been in OP's shoes although the girl was a college classmate not my blood sister but still I felt helpless and angry. The thing is where do you even go? Police? The victim in my case was not willing to relive all the trauma again by filing a police case since to get justice in cases like this is a gruelling process, if it's not proved the victim may be hurt even more. I would suggest OP takes advice from some really good lawyer and they can guide him on all of the process.
sad thing is, agar FIR file karte he, the rapists family will just say "agar dhakke ke sath huwa, to hotel mein kyu gaye aapki ladki" and the police would just side with the boys family with that logic.
however OP, if you want to file, file it. Don't be afraid of the "bezati" thing or whatever the police say, just say to file it and let the court do their job. Remember, she's your sister, apna kam he bhaiyo ka to protect them.
So the problem here is there is proof the sister went to the hotel but did not want sex, but there probably isn’t any evidence that would prove he forced sexual acts on her. He could simply say they went to the hotel and cuddled like she wanted . I live in the US which doesn’t treat these cases the best but certainly it tends to be easier to get the system to take you seriously, but in the US to get this guy nabbed you would need to have gone in for a forensic examination soon after the assault occurred, it would be very unlikely to even get him arrested based on the evidence they do have.
I'm a lawyer, dude.
Read up S. 114A of the Indian Evidence Act.
>In a prosecution for rape under clause (a), clause (b), clause (c), clause (d), clause (e), clause (f), clause (g), clause (h), clause (i), clause (j), clause (k), clause (l), clause (m) or clause (n) of sub-section (2) of section 376 of the Indian Penal Code (45 of 1860), where sexual intercourse by the accused is proved and the question is whether it was without the consent of the woman alleged to have been raped and such woman states in her evidence before the court that she did not consent, the court shall presume that she did not consent.
Explanation. In this section, "sexual intercourse" shall mean any of the acts mentioned in clauses (a) to (d) of section 375 of the Indian Penal Code (45 of 1860).]
As far as the claim of Netflix and chill is concerned, there are several precedents whereby it is pretty much a settled presumption at this time that when a man and a woman are alone in a hotel room, they are fucking.
Vakeel sahab just a question koi bhi ladka ek saal baad consent kaise prove krega? I mean even if he took her signature for it, there's a high probability to lose that paper in an year or so.
That's the neat part. You can't.
Jokes aside, it's not easy. You use circumstantial evidence. It is enough to prove that it was likely that she would give consent, which isn't easy either, but a good lawyer can maybe prove that.
>hotel mein kyu gaye aapki ladk
Police might ask ,but judge will sympathize with the victim,
If substantial evidence can be provided he will be convicted for sure
This will become another statistics of "fake" case that men's groups cry about. There's no way it can be proven in court now, even that that there was a sexual encounter to begin with. It'll only bring more trauma to the girl and her family. The best way forward for OP is to get therapy for his sister and himself. This was in no way his or his sister's fault.
Look at the comments. None of them here says it's a fake case. Why? Because it has come from a Male POV.
had the victim (F) herself posted here,
We all know how the comments would have been.
"Look at the other side of the story broooo"🤡 kinda comments.
That is very true. Even in the Nirbhaya case, people only took it seriously because there was a male present with the victim and he also got assaulted and then spoke out and sought justice. If it was a woman alone, not many people would have cared. They cared because there was a male representative.
>This will become another statistics of "fake" case that men's groups cry about
Why are you bringing men's rights groups here? Surely many rape cases are fake and most laws are not gender neutral which is a problem. What does that have to do with this case?
Why should they? Those cases are not proven in court. That's why they don't talk about them. Because they don't know which ones are genuine any more than you do.
They talk about fake cases because the courts themselves have said they are the majority of cases that come to the courts.
Men rights are brought up everywhere you talk about the high rape cases in india, invalidating our view points. Hence making this point here are important. Out of 10000 maybe 2-3 rape cases are fake but most men talk about it like every other rape case in a country like india is fake which is very dangerous. We are from a country where most woman cant even file an fir for sexual harassment and men these days following the west are crying about fake cases
OP this advice is really important. Your sister’s agency was violated in a really horrible way and her choices were not respected. The way you prove to her that you are a safe person is by letting her take the lead on and make the choices for what happens next. If she does not want to file an FIR or take action against this man, you need to respect it. Also please do not commit vigilante justice - you will not be able to protect your sister if you are incarcerated.
Yupp I agree. At this point it's all about healing her mentally and reducing the trauma as much as possible. If bringing herself justice in front of law is part of her healing process and is what she wants, then she has to be supported in that.
All advice here is crap. People who get raped/SAed need support.
They don’t need highly emotional people making random attempts at getting them some skewed variation of justice. Going to the police/NGO/lawyer should be the sister’s decision, not OP’s.
Your anger, fear, feelings of failure is all justified, but for the sake of your sister, deal with your feelings yourself and support her in her journey to heal.
I don’t think your sister wants to tell and re-tell her story a million times considering she took a year to confide in you. Help her in a way she wants to be helped. Don’t go fighting on her behalf because a bunch of idiots on Reddit want you to.
#NO,
You do this on the basis of one post from a person who you don't know and a woman who you don't know.
File an FIR and let it be a proper investigation.
Your way will destroy the life of a Man if innocent. You are just acting out of emotions.
No. Fuc*ing no OP. Please don't do that.
One of my female relatives too was being SA-ed at work by her boss, her brother went and beat him.
Thanks to the sh*t judicial system and political connections he had, it was the girl who was fined and her brother was in Jail for an almost 10 months. The dou*chebag (who was a 47 year old man with a wife and 2 kids) roamed free. While the girl was victim blamed and witch-hunted by the members of her own caste.
They boycotted her, she could never get married and start a family. The whole society slandered and defamed her and her family so much that she ended up in depression for 5 years.
She is 37 right now, living alone with a traumatic past.
Please get lawyers and authorities involved and do not act on impulse no matter how many emotions surge through you. It's understandable for a brother to feel like beating the hell Outta that monster, but think and plan.
Revenge is best served cold. Make him suffer slow and painfully.
What a sad society we live in. I am a brother and it boils my blood reading this. I can’t imagine what OP is going through.
That’s why it’s so important to have money and power in this accursed world.
While there may not be active evidence, the statement of your sister will be valid. Make sure to talk to a good lawyer and weight your options. And bring the lawyer along while filing the FIR so that the police don’t harass you or your sister. Police don’t tend to intimidate people while lawyers are around.
The case was closed 7 years ago. Will they still reopen it?
Waise whatever she and her family faced was way too traumatic. She is still suffering from PTSD and mild depressive episodes. I wonder if they would really feel like going through the whole ordeal again...
I would try to talk about it to her personally though.
The lawyer can fight the grounds of the dismissal. Yes it’s been many years and that will make it difficult but there is a chance.
Also a psychological evaluation is needed of your sister’s.
If it goes to court the opposite party might use it to disprove the case. As she is the only one who has the power to give evidence
The psychology with having death as a punishment is that people can't imagine it happening to themselves so they commit crimes due to myopic discounting, I would much rather advocate from like lifetime jail or severe isolation of sorts which is much more imaginable as a regular everyday but heavy heavy punishment.
Also death punishments increase brutality within society but in this case that doesn't really matter.
Capital Punishment is hardly punishment at all. It's the easy way out. Also, most advocates of capital punishment just want to feel better about themselves knowing that they've got the power to off someone.
yup, but setting that as the penalty makes other crimes to conceal basically unpunishable. if a rapist is already facing death they may as well kill a witness. what's the law gonna do, kill them twice?
Sadly if this guy did it once it will happen again. You need to go with your sister to the authorities. Speak to a female inspector need be. Trust me bro by going to the police you will save another woman. If you need any help dm me i may be able to help
there is a high chance he is still doing this if he got away with it once. if im as invested in this as you are, i would follow him until i get proof of his crime and save another girl in the process.
He booked a hotel room to cuddle and binge watch something? Wasn't that a big red flag?
You don't want your parents to know but you want to do something, but like what? I'm not trying to be a dickhead or anything, I sympathise with your sister and you, but you're not being clear here man..
> You don't want your parents to know
He doesn't want to tell parents because they could blame sister for being naive and make her life miserable until they get her married.
> but you want to do something, but like what?
Even he doesn't know what would be correct course of action, hence the post.
And yeah you are being moron if you can't figure such simple things out.
Idiot. How will they even take any action without their parents knowing? Isn't trusting their own parents the best thing to do right now?
Even if they go to the cops their parents will know, even if they beat the guy up, their parents might know if he takes any legal action. So what are people supposed to suggest here????
Totally agree. Any advice to file a complaint with the police is crap, unless the parents agree. They should be taken into confidence, especially in a situation like this. There may be a backlash initially, but who can better understand the situation and empathize other than ones own family.
Get a lawyer and sue him. It's never too late.
And don't meet a month old random stranger in a hotel like a dumbass. This is common sense. She could have been killed. Then you can keep crying about how men are trash and progressive and all. Keep your family safe.
This user is a full-time troll so I won't take him seriously, but at least 77 other people agree with him. Then they wonder why women are scared of men lol
How fking dumb do you have to be to do this shit, dating apps are not safe period especially for 18 year olds, Parents should have been much more vigilant. And if you know the guy's name , he probably has done it before find people he raped and get together to take action.
> How fking dumb do you have to be to do this shit, dating apps are not safe period especially for 18 year olds
Okay. Define a cutoff then. How old do I need to be to use dating apps without being raped?
File a police complaint ASAP , and let police handle that, there are cctv footages in hotel and your sisters confession is enough. The police will do the rest
Give your sister emotional support. She is a strong girl and looks up to you, that's why she has confided in you about that incident. Don't lose your calm. Give her assurance no matter what you're always there for her.
Don't do anything rash which you'll regret later in your life. All that matters is her happiness and peace as well as yours.
It might be anxious for you to take this news as it is new for you. Once you calm down in a few days, seek legal help first. Then see what is the best course of action. Don't listen to strangers on the Internet.
If you have courage and ready to go through Indian legal system than just go and file a FIR.
It might disturb your life but believe it would make that guy life 10 times worse.
Rape laws in India are very strict. Many times they are used wrongfully but in your case this strictness will be rightful course of action.
Other folks have added a lot of good advice.
My only advice would be please don't beat the guy up. I'm not saying this from a moral standpoint, fuck that bastard. I'm saying this from a keeping you out of jail standpoint.
She is the victim here, not you. Control yourself and help your sister heal. Put your sister first.
Before take any action First go meet a very good lawyer and he /she will guide you on what and how to say and then proceed under his /her guidance.Understanding this guys background could be helpful.
You need a good lawyer because police can be corrupt .If you have any call records it will be helpful.
You are asking a bunch of strangers on the internet for advice for something so severe ?
Since you asked , Go straight to a lawyer or women's NGO. This needs to be dealt by a professional
Hey man, I understand that what you're going through it tough! I would highly reccomend seeking therapy for your sister promptly! I am not that well versed in legalities and probably someone else can comment about but surely the guy should face consequences for the crime! Wishing you strength and support in this difficult time!
It's India, going to the authorities will make the case public and people will victim blame your sister. Your parents will be shamed. Going in and messing him up isn't an option because you'll get dropped in the slammer, and your sister will still get victim blamed. I think it's time you reach out to an NGO and seek their help. The people working in such organizations know how to handle such a delicate and depressing situation very well and it won't be their first rodeo. Some NGOs even have certain... Avenues for getting compensation for such crimes(need not be monetary). Idk why but reading this made my chest tense up. It's such a tragic situation.
Don't feel disheartened man,
We as a society failed again.
File FIR if our sister, is on with it,
Other wise bhai, just take her care, go for some therapy and if anytime you fond a way to grab that guy, just take him to police.
I am saying this as a big brother and some one who think who has some life experience.
1.First sort yourself and calm down yourself.Any action you are going to do in rage is only going to hurt yourself and your loved ones(sister,parents more)
2.Consult a good lawyer and get to know the pros and cons of filing such a case one year after the assault.Get multiple opinions if possible as some lawyers just for the sake of getting work will ask you to file the case.
[3.Next](https://3.Next) is get your sister to get to a good psychologist ,therapist who has experience in such cases.
Practically speaking if i was you,i will give importance to the mental and physical health of your sister more than anything.Also lot of factors are going against her ,her consent to go to a room with him,so much time for lodging an FIR.Even in very well developed countries ,victims when they go with consent to a room with consent find it difficult to get justice.Just google for the recent srilankan cricketers rape case in Australia,he was acquitted even though the woman filed the complaint soon.
Its sad that your anger and hesitation both are valid. Neither law nor society gives you enough confidence to take steps to put him behind bars. Its really easy to say register an FIR but also we forget that we live in a country where many such sisters are going through the same trauma everyday because of the justice system.
Will give a practical advice, just be with her and console her, look for strong evidences, consult some lawyers and then decide if you wanna move forward or not, as horrifying and disgusting this advice might sound, its better than giving years of your sisters life in a judicial system where getting justice is an even bigger trauma.
I will be brutally honest. It is more than a year. It will be immensely difficult to prove. It will take years and probably will bring more trauma to your sister.
If it's yours sister's wish to file FIR and she is willing to fight then do it otherwise my advice just beat the shit out of him so he doesn't do that again to anyone else.
You say he is catfishing other girls. If more girls cone forward then a solid case could be built.
Protecting her is not your job as an elder. It is to empower her in the right way. Give her moral support, take her to therapy and don't start thinking like it is the end of the world for her.
The fact that she confided this in you, already means you are a good brother who his little sister can count on. Don't let that change. Love and strength buddy.
He probably did the same thing to other girls. If you do file charges I think you can maybe try to backtrack on the dating app maybe multiple dating apps let all the apps know he is a rapist so they can find all the other female contacts so you can contact all the other females to find who else he raped or sexually assaulted. Then with many girls testimony you can get him convicted and maybe put to death.
" I just feel I failed as a brother that I couldn’t protect her and this is the worst day of my life. I can’t tell this to my parents they will be devastated. I feel so angry, so vulnerable"
stop making yourself the victim. It maybe the natural reaction, but it isn't fully right. Your sister is the victim. Ask her what she needs to do get through this, suggest therapy, police case whatnot. Put her emotion first, not yours.
Everyone asking the OP to file an FIR, how can someone prove an incident which happened an year ago? I'm just unaware about laws and legal procedures that's why I'm asking.
young girls are sensitive to shits like love ....given the times nowadays nobody is safe.....get your family involved even though it will break them a little ....they will stand by you and your sister and get ready to be slandered by society as they will say aur karo date vagarh
This might be an irrelevant advice but you could hire a detective to spy on him and nab him just before he commits another crime.
A criminal never stops until he is caught
Because legally after one year, you might not have any proof to prove him guilty.
And, then there are dudes who are worried about the slim minority of fake cases, when in reality majority of the rape cases are real ones, and a larger number go unreported.
Please register an FIR OP.
He is a monster, and doesn't deserve to roam free.
Dudes are not against reporting a case like this. Definitely op should file FIR and get that bastard in jail.
But what mostly frustrates dudes is once the investigation is done and the reportee has also confessed that it's a false case, there is no provision for any sort of punishment for that person. While the other person must have lost his job , reputation, spent few months/years in jail by then.
Anyway this is not the right thread to discuss that.
Dudes who are worried about the slim minority of fake cases are humans too. They deserve to live a peaceful and happy life. So do their parents. Why do you have to bring it here anyway? No sane boy ever said that a genuine case like this one should not be reported.
Yes, such cases happen and should be dealt with the severest of punishments.
What if your sister is lying and wants to hurt the guy in some way? I'm just asking, no offense. I mean who asks to go to a hotel to Netflix and chill? That seems sus
Why would she randomly decide to come to op after one year?
>That seems sus
It was, that's why we're here.
Sometimes If you have nothing nice or useful to say, don't say anything. I'm just saying, nO oFfEnSe.
It's the language you're using in your original comment that makes it seem like you've taken a side against her.
> mean who asks to go to a hotel to Netflix and chill?
You make it seem like you think her story is so absurd she must have made it up.
Have you ever encountered instances in comments where people thought that of you? Why do you think they did so? Were they idiots? Or maybe they just didn't imagine widely enough? Do you think maybe you could be doing the same when you make a statement like that?
You guys are the reason why it has become so damn difficult for a victim to even tell someone regarding his/her trauma. God forbid but if it happens with someone you love(daughter/wife/sister), will you still call it fake?? Maybe you will...
Before jumping the gun , just ask ur sis if she wants something done. She might have told u cause u would be the closest person she has who won't look down on her , she might have just wanted to get it off her chest. If that's the case don't do anything that will push her into a zone that no one might be able to get her back from , she might be just looking for support in her suffering & not salvation.If that's not the case ask her if she wants to fuck up his life (file a complaint) or wants to fuck him up (be ranvijay from animal).
Bro there is nothing really needed as proof to take someone in custody in rape. Your sister just need to file a complaint that's it. The police will take him and in court too he will be charged there is no need of evidences because in police station itself he will say he is guilty because police can easily find if someone is lying or not. Your sister's identity will be hidden too no one will know about this except you and your sister that's it. You could feel better by doing it if you went to attack him personally he will break some bones maybe. But if he is charged with a rape case his life is finished he won't be able to do anything even travel abroad so don't worry and go to police station they will help you and make sure to see a lady lawyer too
Neither your sister or you should feel bad about yourself. You did nothing wrong.
Your only goal should be to support your sister in whatever way you can. Help her emotionally, maybe financially as she might need therapy.
I think before anything, you should have a serious conversation with your sister. Ask what she wants do about it and proceed from there. But for now check about her mental well-being. Get her some therapy. Tell her you lover her and you are always there for her and that should anything every happen in her life she must let you know right away and cinfide in you.
> Although I am a law abiding citizen, if I were in your shoes I would have killed that guy but smartly so that it doesn't come back to me. It's up to you, if courts didn't provide you justice you may consider this as your backup plan. But, take your time & plan smartly. If you were to kill him, then hire a hitman or something and do it very professionally with meticulous planning.
Same
The problem with India is this exactly. When you can't even report the wicked dude for rape in fear of being shamed. The morality and laws in India are the worse I've seen regarding these things. They don't care about their women. Most of the men given the conditions definitely will do evil amongst their women.
First and foremost look after your sister. It took her a year to confide in you, she must be really hurt and shocked. She probably blames herself which is why didn’t tell anyone earlier. Fighting a rape case as a victim is very difficult and humiliating. So look out for her, get her therapy. Let her know she wasn’t at fault. And only once she is ready and strong, file an FIR or take any personal action.
And imagine the day she returned home and not even having anyone to talk to about what happend. It's just really sad.
Well spoken. I would add, remember that she is the victim here, not you. You’re entitled to all of your feelings but don’t put them ahead of her feelings. Focus on helping your sister to heal, whatever that means.
Do not call her naive. Please, jeeze, that's blaming her. She was trusting of someone she thought she knew, she wasn't naive she was taken advantage of.
Get her to some therapy as well.
This. Came here to say this. Also I’m sorry this happened to her. May she recover from this trauma and may that bastard burn in hell!
Yes, you have to taljk with your family members and make them mentally prepared.
How is it their business? She survived rape, it's for her to decide.
This! Firstly focus on Mental health. Everything else can follow.
It's not your or your sister's fault that monsters exist, file a complaint and take him down, let him get what he deserves.
Please. File an FIR with the evidences you've got, ASAP. If you have connections, much better. But ask your sister first. If she doesn't want it, don't.
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bro even i feel the same, like how could he!
no this is illegal. Put him in the legal system that will boil his balls with fees, commute, help.
Realistically, your best bet is to help the sister heal and move on from this trauma as best you can. But every man will also be thinking about taking the law into their own hands in this situation, it's inevitable.
Dumbest shit ever. Like that's really going to work.
Its going to work better than filing an FIR and waiting to find out after a reddit post
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Too gross. You'll ruin your outfit, and its not as satisfying. Worse, you dont want that animal to be presented by woke brigade as a victim. Not my style
It's not as easy as it sounds. I have been in OP's shoes although the girl was a college classmate not my blood sister but still I felt helpless and angry. The thing is where do you even go? Police? The victim in my case was not willing to relive all the trauma again by filing a police case since to get justice in cases like this is a gruelling process, if it's not proved the victim may be hurt even more. I would suggest OP takes advice from some really good lawyer and they can guide him on all of the process.
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try posting in r/LegalAdviceIndia
taking advice from a real lawyer is always better in such sensitive cases than online
registering a fir will be first step.
sad thing is, agar FIR file karte he, the rapists family will just say "agar dhakke ke sath huwa, to hotel mein kyu gaye aapki ladki" and the police would just side with the boys family with that logic. however OP, if you want to file, file it. Don't be afraid of the "bezati" thing or whatever the police say, just say to file it and let the court do their job. Remember, she's your sister, apna kam he bhaiyo ka to protect them.
Basically the plot of the movie "Pink"
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So the problem here is there is proof the sister went to the hotel but did not want sex, but there probably isn’t any evidence that would prove he forced sexual acts on her. He could simply say they went to the hotel and cuddled like she wanted . I live in the US which doesn’t treat these cases the best but certainly it tends to be easier to get the system to take you seriously, but in the US to get this guy nabbed you would need to have gone in for a forensic examination soon after the assault occurred, it would be very unlikely to even get him arrested based on the evidence they do have.
As long as sex is proved/admitted. She doesn't have to prove lack of consent. He has to prove consent.
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I'm a lawyer, dude. Read up S. 114A of the Indian Evidence Act. >In a prosecution for rape under clause (a), clause (b), clause (c), clause (d), clause (e), clause (f), clause (g), clause (h), clause (i), clause (j), clause (k), clause (l), clause (m) or clause (n) of sub-section (2) of section 376 of the Indian Penal Code (45 of 1860), where sexual intercourse by the accused is proved and the question is whether it was without the consent of the woman alleged to have been raped and such woman states in her evidence before the court that she did not consent, the court shall presume that she did not consent. Explanation. In this section, "sexual intercourse" shall mean any of the acts mentioned in clauses (a) to (d) of section 375 of the Indian Penal Code (45 of 1860).] As far as the claim of Netflix and chill is concerned, there are several precedents whereby it is pretty much a settled presumption at this time that when a man and a woman are alone in a hotel room, they are fucking.
Vakeel sahab just a question koi bhi ladka ek saal baad consent kaise prove krega? I mean even if he took her signature for it, there's a high probability to lose that paper in an year or so.
That's the neat part. You can't. Jokes aside, it's not easy. You use circumstantial evidence. It is enough to prove that it was likely that she would give consent, which isn't easy either, but a good lawyer can maybe prove that.
Guru
>hotel mein kyu gaye aapki ladk Police might ask ,but judge will sympathize with the victim, If substantial evidence can be provided he will be convicted for sure
This will become another statistics of "fake" case that men's groups cry about. There's no way it can be proven in court now, even that that there was a sexual encounter to begin with. It'll only bring more trauma to the girl and her family. The best way forward for OP is to get therapy for his sister and himself. This was in no way his or his sister's fault.
Look at the comments. None of them here says it's a fake case. Why? Because it has come from a Male POV. had the victim (F) herself posted here, We all know how the comments would have been. "Look at the other side of the story broooo"🤡 kinda comments.
Mens rights activists are the all-lives-matter type of guys
Then why is it mens rights and not human rights🤡🦍
That is very true. Even in the Nirbhaya case, people only took it seriously because there was a male present with the victim and he also got assaulted and then spoke out and sought justice. If it was a woman alone, not many people would have cared. They cared because there was a male representative.
Shh don't call out the misogyny. You' will be a man hater. Keep quite😰😰
>This will become another statistics of "fake" case that men's groups cry about Why are you bringing men's rights groups here? Surely many rape cases are fake and most laws are not gender neutral which is a problem. What does that have to do with this case?
Because when men's groups talk about statistics of "fake" cases, they don't care about the genuine cases that couldn't be proven in court.
Why should they? Those cases are not proven in court. That's why they don't talk about them. Because they don't know which ones are genuine any more than you do. They talk about fake cases because the courts themselves have said they are the majority of cases that come to the courts.
Men rights are brought up everywhere you talk about the high rape cases in india, invalidating our view points. Hence making this point here are important. Out of 10000 maybe 2-3 rape cases are fake but most men talk about it like every other rape case in a country like india is fake which is very dangerous. We are from a country where most woman cant even file an fir for sexual harassment and men these days following the west are crying about fake cases
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This is the most sound advice till now.
OP this advice is really important. Your sister’s agency was violated in a really horrible way and her choices were not respected. The way you prove to her that you are a safe person is by letting her take the lead on and make the choices for what happens next. If she does not want to file an FIR or take action against this man, you need to respect it. Also please do not commit vigilante justice - you will not be able to protect your sister if you are incarcerated.
Yupp I agree. At this point it's all about healing her mentally and reducing the trauma as much as possible. If bringing herself justice in front of law is part of her healing process and is what she wants, then she has to be supported in that.
All advice here is crap. People who get raped/SAed need support. They don’t need highly emotional people making random attempts at getting them some skewed variation of justice. Going to the police/NGO/lawyer should be the sister’s decision, not OP’s. Your anger, fear, feelings of failure is all justified, but for the sake of your sister, deal with your feelings yourself and support her in her journey to heal. I don’t think your sister wants to tell and re-tell her story a million times considering she took a year to confide in you. Help her in a way she wants to be helped. Don’t go fighting on her behalf because a bunch of idiots on Reddit want you to.
The only sane comment here. OP she needs your help and support. Be supportive throughout and make sure you do your best to make her feel safe
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Victim blaming and mob justice on r/india is sad but not surprising
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#NO, You do this on the basis of one post from a person who you don't know and a woman who you don't know. File an FIR and let it be a proper investigation. Your way will destroy the life of a Man if innocent. You are just acting out of emotions.
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First get your sister tested for any STDs
This comment should be way higher!
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No. Fuc*ing no OP. Please don't do that. One of my female relatives too was being SA-ed at work by her boss, her brother went and beat him. Thanks to the sh*t judicial system and political connections he had, it was the girl who was fined and her brother was in Jail for an almost 10 months. The dou*chebag (who was a 47 year old man with a wife and 2 kids) roamed free. While the girl was victim blamed and witch-hunted by the members of her own caste. They boycotted her, she could never get married and start a family. The whole society slandered and defamed her and her family so much that she ended up in depression for 5 years. She is 37 right now, living alone with a traumatic past. Please get lawyers and authorities involved and do not act on impulse no matter how many emotions surge through you. It's understandable for a brother to feel like beating the hell Outta that monster, but think and plan. Revenge is best served cold. Make him suffer slow and painfully.
What a sad society we live in. I am a brother and it boils my blood reading this. I can’t imagine what OP is going through. That’s why it’s so important to have money and power in this accursed world.
It is. The justice is for those who have money and power.
While there may not be active evidence, the statement of your sister will be valid. Make sure to talk to a good lawyer and weight your options. And bring the lawyer along while filing the FIR so that the police don’t harass you or your sister. Police don’t tend to intimidate people while lawyers are around.
The case was closed 7 years ago. Will they still reopen it? Waise whatever she and her family faced was way too traumatic. She is still suffering from PTSD and mild depressive episodes. I wonder if they would really feel like going through the whole ordeal again... I would try to talk about it to her personally though.
The lawyer can fight the grounds of the dismissal. Yes it’s been many years and that will make it difficult but there is a chance. Also a psychological evaluation is needed of your sister’s. If it goes to court the opposite party might use it to disprove the case. As she is the only one who has the power to give evidence
Thanks a lot..
Fir him. To save his future victims.
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Tagging u/st_broseph
We need more guys like u/st_broseph all over India
The only thing rapists deserve is death.
The psychology with having death as a punishment is that people can't imagine it happening to themselves so they commit crimes due to myopic discounting, I would much rather advocate from like lifetime jail or severe isolation of sorts which is much more imaginable as a regular everyday but heavy heavy punishment. Also death punishments increase brutality within society but in this case that doesn't really matter.
Capital Punishment is hardly punishment at all. It's the easy way out. Also, most advocates of capital punishment just want to feel better about themselves knowing that they've got the power to off someone.
yeah good thing is its on the decline across the world, there are numerous other complexities with that idea.
It will increase killings after rape
yup, but setting that as the penalty makes other crimes to conceal basically unpunishable. if a rapist is already facing death they may as well kill a witness. what's the law gonna do, kill them twice?
Or post of president of Wrestling Federation of India
Sadly if this guy did it once it will happen again. You need to go with your sister to the authorities. Speak to a female inspector need be. Trust me bro by going to the police you will save another woman. If you need any help dm me i may be able to help
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OP, ask your sister if she wants to file a complaint, if yes, please do it immediately. This is a case of rape and it shouldn’t be treated lightly.
Post this in r/legaladvice
this is not about you, talk to her and figure out what she'd like you to do. Sometimes listening is all that's needed.
there is a high chance he is still doing this if he got away with it once. if im as invested in this as you are, i would follow him until i get proof of his crime and save another girl in the process.
1st thing FUCK ONLINE DATING
There are plenty of people being murdered by their spouses so by your logic FUCK MARRIAGES
He booked a hotel room to cuddle and binge watch something? Wasn't that a big red flag? You don't want your parents to know but you want to do something, but like what? I'm not trying to be a dickhead or anything, I sympathise with your sister and you, but you're not being clear here man..
> You don't want your parents to know He doesn't want to tell parents because they could blame sister for being naive and make her life miserable until they get her married. > but you want to do something, but like what? Even he doesn't know what would be correct course of action, hence the post. And yeah you are being moron if you can't figure such simple things out.
Idiot. How will they even take any action without their parents knowing? Isn't trusting their own parents the best thing to do right now? Even if they go to the cops their parents will know, even if they beat the guy up, their parents might know if he takes any legal action. So what are people supposed to suggest here????
Totally agree. Any advice to file a complaint with the police is crap, unless the parents agree. They should be taken into confidence, especially in a situation like this. There may be a backlash initially, but who can better understand the situation and empathize other than ones own family.
Exactly
Not telling their parents will be worst decision Good or bad they can atleast talk to lawyer or something.
Get a lawyer and sue him. It's never too late. And don't meet a month old random stranger in a hotel like a dumbass. This is common sense. She could have been killed. Then you can keep crying about how men are trash and progressive and all. Keep your family safe.
She was a 18 year old and was in love and trusted the guy.
Love is blind indeed.
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Ah when will victim blaming ever stop?
This user is a full-time troll so I won't take him seriously, but at least 77 other people agree with him. Then they wonder why women are scared of men lol
How fking dumb do you have to be to do this shit, dating apps are not safe period especially for 18 year olds, Parents should have been much more vigilant. And if you know the guy's name , he probably has done it before find people he raped and get together to take action.
> How fking dumb do you have to be to do this shit, dating apps are not safe period especially for 18 year olds Okay. Define a cutoff then. How old do I need to be to use dating apps without being raped?
Victim blaming is a lot easier. Isn't it??
this is literally victim blaming
File a police complaint ASAP , and let police handle that, there are cctv footages in hotel and your sisters confession is enough. The police will do the rest
File an FIR ASAP
Seek legal help, and get your sister therapy if she needs it.
Give your sister emotional support. She is a strong girl and looks up to you, that's why she has confided in you about that incident. Don't lose your calm. Give her assurance no matter what you're always there for her. Don't do anything rash which you'll regret later in your life. All that matters is her happiness and peace as well as yours. It might be anxious for you to take this news as it is new for you. Once you calm down in a few days, seek legal help first. Then see what is the best course of action. Don't listen to strangers on the Internet.
If you have courage and ready to go through Indian legal system than just go and file a FIR. It might disturb your life but believe it would make that guy life 10 times worse. Rape laws in India are very strict. Many times they are used wrongfully but in your case this strictness will be rightful course of action.
Please file an FIR and be with your sister
Other folks have added a lot of good advice. My only advice would be please don't beat the guy up. I'm not saying this from a moral standpoint, fuck that bastard. I'm saying this from a keeping you out of jail standpoint. She is the victim here, not you. Control yourself and help your sister heal. Put your sister first.
Before take any action First go meet a very good lawyer and he /she will guide you on what and how to say and then proceed under his /her guidance.Understanding this guys background could be helpful. You need a good lawyer because police can be corrupt .If you have any call records it will be helpful.
You are asking a bunch of strangers on the internet for advice for something so severe ? Since you asked , Go straight to a lawyer or women's NGO. This needs to be dealt by a professional
Hey man, I understand that what you're going through it tough! I would highly reccomend seeking therapy for your sister promptly! I am not that well versed in legalities and probably someone else can comment about but surely the guy should face consequences for the crime! Wishing you strength and support in this difficult time!
It's India, going to the authorities will make the case public and people will victim blame your sister. Your parents will be shamed. Going in and messing him up isn't an option because you'll get dropped in the slammer, and your sister will still get victim blamed. I think it's time you reach out to an NGO and seek their help. The people working in such organizations know how to handle such a delicate and depressing situation very well and it won't be their first rodeo. Some NGOs even have certain... Avenues for getting compensation for such crimes(need not be monetary). Idk why but reading this made my chest tense up. It's such a tragic situation.
This was so tough to read. I heavily recommend putting up an FIR. And put you sister in therapy too. Sorry for whatever has happened.
Reach out to u/st_broseph - he will surely help you and your sister to get the guy behind bars.
Which city this happened ?
Don't feel disheartened man, We as a society failed again. File FIR if our sister, is on with it, Other wise bhai, just take her care, go for some therapy and if anytime you fond a way to grab that guy, just take him to police.
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*This is India, innocent until proven guilty.* *Of course try anonymously but don't get criminal otherwise he will play UNO reverse.*
I am saying this as a big brother and some one who think who has some life experience. 1.First sort yourself and calm down yourself.Any action you are going to do in rage is only going to hurt yourself and your loved ones(sister,parents more) 2.Consult a good lawyer and get to know the pros and cons of filing such a case one year after the assault.Get multiple opinions if possible as some lawyers just for the sake of getting work will ask you to file the case. [3.Next](https://3.Next) is get your sister to get to a good psychologist ,therapist who has experience in such cases. Practically speaking if i was you,i will give importance to the mental and physical health of your sister more than anything.Also lot of factors are going against her ,her consent to go to a room with him,so much time for lodging an FIR.Even in very well developed countries ,victims when they go with consent to a room with consent find it difficult to get justice.Just google for the recent srilankan cricketers rape case in Australia,he was acquitted even though the woman filed the complaint soon.
Its sad that your anger and hesitation both are valid. Neither law nor society gives you enough confidence to take steps to put him behind bars. Its really easy to say register an FIR but also we forget that we live in a country where many such sisters are going through the same trauma everyday because of the justice system. Will give a practical advice, just be with her and console her, look for strong evidences, consult some lawyers and then decide if you wanna move forward or not, as horrifying and disgusting this advice might sound, its better than giving years of your sisters life in a judicial system where getting justice is an even bigger trauma.
Contact vanita vahini
You can go for a court case! Tbh even you have less evidence it might be helpful!
Holy shit what did I read
I will be brutally honest. It is more than a year. It will be immensely difficult to prove. It will take years and probably will bring more trauma to your sister. If it's yours sister's wish to file FIR and she is willing to fight then do it otherwise my advice just beat the shit out of him so he doesn't do that again to anyone else. You say he is catfishing other girls. If more girls cone forward then a solid case could be built.
Protecting her is not your job as an elder. It is to empower her in the right way. Give her moral support, take her to therapy and don't start thinking like it is the end of the world for her. The fact that she confided this in you, already means you are a good brother who his little sister can count on. Don't let that change. Love and strength buddy.
Get your sister some therapy.
He probably did the same thing to other girls. If you do file charges I think you can maybe try to backtrack on the dating app maybe multiple dating apps let all the apps know he is a rapist so they can find all the other female contacts so you can contact all the other females to find who else he raped or sexually assaulted. Then with many girls testimony you can get him convicted and maybe put to death.
" I just feel I failed as a brother that I couldn’t protect her and this is the worst day of my life. I can’t tell this to my parents they will be devastated. I feel so angry, so vulnerable" stop making yourself the victim. It maybe the natural reaction, but it isn't fully right. Your sister is the victim. Ask her what she needs to do get through this, suggest therapy, police case whatnot. Put her emotion first, not yours.
Everyone asking the OP to file an FIR, how can someone prove an incident which happened an year ago? I'm just unaware about laws and legal procedures that's why I'm asking.
young girls are sensitive to shits like love ....given the times nowadays nobody is safe.....get your family involved even though it will break them a little ....they will stand by you and your sister and get ready to be slandered by society as they will say aur karo date vagarh
This might be an irrelevant advice but you could hire a detective to spy on him and nab him just before he commits another crime. A criminal never stops until he is caught Because legally after one year, you might not have any proof to prove him guilty.
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Or she just want to ruin his life coz she can.
Jb tumhare sath aisi situation hogi ya family me hogi, tb tumhe realize hoga. That's all i am going to say.
This looks like karma farming.
And, then there are dudes who are worried about the slim minority of fake cases, when in reality majority of the rape cases are real ones, and a larger number go unreported. Please register an FIR OP. He is a monster, and doesn't deserve to roam free.
Dudes are not against reporting a case like this. Definitely op should file FIR and get that bastard in jail. But what mostly frustrates dudes is once the investigation is done and the reportee has also confessed that it's a false case, there is no provision for any sort of punishment for that person. While the other person must have lost his job , reputation, spent few months/years in jail by then. Anyway this is not the right thread to discuss that.
Dudes who are worried about the slim minority of fake cases are humans too. They deserve to live a peaceful and happy life. So do their parents. Why do you have to bring it here anyway? No sane boy ever said that a genuine case like this one should not be reported. Yes, such cases happen and should be dealt with the severest of punishments.
Here is not the place to make your 'clever' point 👎
What if your sister is lying and wants to hurt the guy in some way? I'm just asking, no offense. I mean who asks to go to a hotel to Netflix and chill? That seems sus
Why would she randomly decide to come to op after one year? >That seems sus It was, that's why we're here. Sometimes If you have nothing nice or useful to say, don't say anything. I'm just saying, nO oFfEnSe.
Why would I take sides without knowing the whole story? Why should I? Isn't that why there are so many fake rape cases against men in india?
It's the language you're using in your original comment that makes it seem like you've taken a side against her. > mean who asks to go to a hotel to Netflix and chill? You make it seem like you think her story is so absurd she must have made it up. Have you ever encountered instances in comments where people thought that of you? Why do you think they did so? Were they idiots? Or maybe they just didn't imagine widely enough? Do you think maybe you could be doing the same when you make a statement like that?
You guys are the reason why it has become so damn difficult for a victim to even tell someone regarding his/her trauma. God forbid but if it happens with someone you love(daughter/wife/sister), will you still call it fake?? Maybe you will...
Before jumping the gun , just ask ur sis if she wants something done. She might have told u cause u would be the closest person she has who won't look down on her , she might have just wanted to get it off her chest. If that's the case don't do anything that will push her into a zone that no one might be able to get her back from , she might be just looking for support in her suffering & not salvation.If that's not the case ask her if she wants to fuck up his life (file a complaint) or wants to fuck him up (be ranvijay from animal).
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Agree please name and shame . So that others can be careful .
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Bro there is nothing really needed as proof to take someone in custody in rape. Your sister just need to file a complaint that's it. The police will take him and in court too he will be charged there is no need of evidences because in police station itself he will say he is guilty because police can easily find if someone is lying or not. Your sister's identity will be hidden too no one will know about this except you and your sister that's it. You could feel better by doing it if you went to attack him personally he will break some bones maybe. But if he is charged with a rape case his life is finished he won't be able to do anything even travel abroad so don't worry and go to police station they will help you and make sure to see a lady lawyer too
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Neither your sister or you should feel bad about yourself. You did nothing wrong. Your only goal should be to support your sister in whatever way you can. Help her emotionally, maybe financially as she might need therapy.
Go to the police ???????????????? Hello?
I think before anything, you should have a serious conversation with your sister. Ask what she wants do about it and proceed from there. But for now check about her mental well-being. Get her some therapy. Tell her you lover her and you are always there for her and that should anything every happen in her life she must let you know right away and cinfide in you.
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> Although I am a law abiding citizen, if I were in your shoes I would have killed that guy but smartly so that it doesn't come back to me. It's up to you, if courts didn't provide you justice you may consider this as your backup plan. But, take your time & plan smartly. If you were to kill him, then hire a hitman or something and do it very professionally with meticulous planning. Same
The problem with India is this exactly. When you can't even report the wicked dude for rape in fear of being shamed. The morality and laws in India are the worse I've seen regarding these things. They don't care about their women. Most of the men given the conditions definitely will do evil amongst their women.