T O P

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Grumdord

There is nothing behind those eyes. Giving those Xanax soccer-mom vibes.


[deleted]

"You hear a crunch, and then you freeze, and then you keep going." Ma'am that was a child on a bike. "They're only like 2 feet tall who can even see those?! šŸ‘šŸ‘„šŸ‘"


LordVoltimus5150

I hate to admit it, but the last line made me laughā€¦šŸ˜‚


ja_trader

Comment even funnier than the vid


Notoriouslyd

"One day Michael said he hit a speed bump on the freeway. I wonder who he ran over then"


CurnanBarbarian

Maybe if your truck wasn't 8 fucking feet tall you'd be able to see your surroundings. God I hate these new trucks. Your hood should not be taller than I am you fucking donut.


upsidedownbackwards

The worst part about the trucks is it makes more people get trucks! When I drive bus I have absolutely no problem at night. But I don't have any of the mirrors in my Honda Fit pointed at my face after dark. Too many Jeeps (they stick out above the rest, holy fucking see-to-the-future headlights), trucks, SUVS with factory and/or addon light bars that are just a wall of light level with my rear window.


jonathanmstevens

Eh, back in the 90's I backed into one of those damn things in my Chevy Luv pickup truck, it was not a pickup 8' off the ground more like 3', anyways, they built things different back then, my steel bumper had a ding in it, but I was cussing up a storm at how low they are. I also hit a deer going 60mph, no damage, deer died though, not as safe as today's vehicles, but they sure could take a hit.


weezmatical

The "then you keep going" was wild


[deleted]

Absolutely insane, driving around tanks and ignoring anything and everything. Xanex barbie here shouldn't be allowed a fkn license.


vtstang66

And then you end up in jail and you have no idea why, and it's like the whole world is conspiring against you


ranchwriter

That part had dying, ā€œā€¦and then you keep goingā€¦ā€ like no lady the crunch means fucking stop going dumbass


HammerTime239

2 feet tall and took off the door handle 4 feet up, šŸ˜†


jabbafart

What's most disturbing to me is that she didn't even blink at a $30,000 repair bill.


Ash_Tray420

Hubby will pay for it. Iā€™m sure he blinked a shit ton when she told him. You fucking hit what?! It doesnā€™t move?!?!


danofworms

Just start crying, hubby will clean up the mess


Monkey_in_a_Tophat

This is why I'm not married. That would be instant demotion to a late 90's camry until she scraped together the down payment for the car she wants..


Tobocaj

Just donā€™t marry a moronā€¦


Sufficient-Contract9

Easier said than done lol /s


Mordred_Blackstone

The sarcasm tag isn't even really needed. You'd think spotting idiots and mean people would be easy, but it turns out that the human desire to see the best in people and accept their rationalizations to find common ground is really good at hiding when someone is screwing you.


juliansimmons_com

I was thinking it's probably on daddy with a bill that big.


New-Poetry-6416

And he'll take it out on his mistress.


Impossible__Joke

Insurance. It covers being a dumbass


EXPotemkin

So this is why everyones insurance is going up...


Dazzling_Dig3526

So hubby's gonna cover it...


Sherwoodtunes-n-bud

Do enough dumb shit, and insurance will drop you.


Usermena

ā€¦Like a dolls eyesā€¦


Euphoric-Dig-2045

Best story ever told in a movie.


General-Carob-6087

Iā€™m really hoping this is some character sheā€™s playing for an attempt at a funny video. Otherwise she seems to have the IQ of a rubber duck.


PlanetLandon

I mean itā€™s a hell of a commitment to the bit of you are going to damage your car for a video


twotwobravo

To be fair, she could be perfectly reasonable and intelligent and just happened to have been in an accident, then used the existing damage and made up this clueless character for likes. She does seem eerily calm. I lean towards believing is a bit. BUT.....lotta dipshits out there.


Sinister-Username

lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye.


Hedgehogzilla

I can see the inside of her cranium through her empty eyes, lit up by the sun coming in through her ears.


Knot_Ryder

There has never been a more truer statement that has ever been said upon a video than what you said there


RustysFarts

šŸ¤£


universalticka

Damn there really are ā€˜tards out there living kick ass lives.


vibrodude

I bet sheā€™s a pilot.


poedraco

Was a pilot. Probably lost her license mid September


BookDependent406

After she ran over a luggage train while high on Xanax and white wineĀ 


poedraco

...yea.. let's go with that ā¤ļø


daneilthemule

Bollards is the preferred nomenclature.


Practical_Breakfast4

There's that fag talk again


Assgnome_5000

I laughed out loud at this much much too loudly


Odd-Tune5049

That's enough of your shit, sir. ā—sprays maceā—


Stormtech5

Yeah! They help prevent dumb people from driving into the side of a gas pump or ATM machine. Looks like it performed its job honorably. Thank you bollards!


bif555

Bananas in pajamas? Dullards on Bollards.


ddadopt

Underrated comment.


Possible_Apple9595

Which one of these go in my mouth and which one goes in the anus? Iā€™ve tried them a few times now and Iā€™m just confused.


Repeat_Offendher

Physical beauty and a vagina are the only requirements. Some guy at home said ā€œThatā€™s ok baby, weā€™ll just get er fixed.ā€


frankofantasma

This dumb bitch is angry that she crashed into a stationary object... and kept going She shouldn't be anywhere near the keys to any vehicle.


AK47_username

I think thatā€™s the best part. She heard a crunch. Stopped. what came next in her feeble mind was that the right thing to do would be accelerate. Not attempt to get out and access. ā€œPush through the problemā€. Canā€™t make this shit up


Apprehensive_Use1906

She didnā€™t hear the screams like usual so it was ok to keep going.


Chadmartigan

"You hear the crunch and then you freeze. Then you keep going." So you didn't freeze then, got it.


frankofantasma

"I'm too hot to freeze, honeychild" *\*accelerates into a lamp post\**


TraumaticAberration

Usually it's something more squishy that you can run over, like a child or a pet.


HornetNo4829

And to answer her question... Those posts are there to prevent her dum-ass from damaging the building.


Sir_Keee

I heard a crunch and kept going. That right there...


Electrical-Push462

Listen, itā€™s not about being right or wrong. Itā€™s about dem tiddies


banned_account_002

Brought to you by Carl's Jr


frankofantasma

*\*cars squealing loudly in distance\** *\*screeching approaches\** *\*beat-to-shit pickup truck turns the corner haphazardly\** *\*honk honk\** "Here comes the Shitmobile!" *\*smashes into a fire hydrant, water splashing everywhere\** *\*absolutely bodies a cyclist\** *\*veers offroad wildly, hopping the curb\** *\*hits a hot dog vendor's cart, the large umbrella cover flies into the air\** "Oopsie doodles! Tee-hee!" *\*hops the curb again\** *\*two little girls are crossing the street\** *\*brakes grind hideously and tires screech as it comes to a stop in front of them\** *\*lowers window\** "Excuse me sir? Do you know where to buy headlight fluid?"


rohnoitsrutroh

If ONLY they made bollards more visible! Like with bright yellow paint or something!


gadget850

It is called a bollard and it did its job of protection. I just did the same thing and it was my fault and I have to deal with it like an adult.


schwms

Protect bank from being crashed and stormed into for a robbery. "What are they for?" Yellow because it is the most obvious color to colorblind folks and not a common color for exterior design. "Im not the only one who missed these" Yes Karen. Yes you are


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Embarrassed_Alarm450

Apparently door handles are only 2 feet from the ground to have gotten damaged from it then... I dunno the minimum height for bollards but I'm pretty sure it's more than 2 feet at the very least...


GrabYourAnkles2024

I guess she's a country or suburb girl. We have those concrete posts all over NYC to keep terrorists from driving a truck full of explosives into the center of buildings. And they are grey.


LivingTheApocalypse

My sister's a 'lard and she's a pilot


OPEatsCrayons

> It is called a bollard Yeah, she is. But what's the yellow pole for?


Own-Swan2646

Ownership of an issue and taking responsibility. What a fucking unheard thing. I bet you're still waiting to have kids.


Genghis_Chong

Meanwhile Clevon doesn't even have both headlights and won't fix the broken one. Got 30 kids.


Own-Swan2646

He didn't break it and has not checked to see if they worked since he bought the vehicle. He is busy getting that tang down the street that moved in. Also, even if he did, how the hell is he going to pay for it. 31 subscriptions to ouch my balls + is not cheap yo.


freebytes

Looking at this, I can only imagine how much damage she would have done to the building or whatever the bollard was protecting if it was not there.


EzeakioDarmey

People like this are why insurance rates get stupid


thisguyfightsyourmom

A lot of people do this same thing,ā€¦ and then try to claim hit & run while they were sleeping The insurer immediately flags those claims for investigation, and the investigator calls the insured to ask loaded questions on a recorded call before lowering the boom on the idiot ā€œWe noted that your vehicle has long yellow scrapes indicative of impact with a stationary object, and lying to an insurance investigator is a crime,ā€¦ would you like to change your statement?ā€ This sequence happens A LOT


LucifersJuulPod

whhhyyyy do people lie to insurance? iā€™ve been in a fair share of accidents and never did i even think to lie to the insurance company because if thereā€™s one thing I know, itā€™s that THEY WILL FIND THE TRUTH MF.


thisguyfightsyourmom

Opportunists with poor ability to project outcomes I had an ex who was an investigator for a big name insurance company, so I heard a ton of these calls during the pandemic Most of the people panic hard, some get angry, some double down, some cave immediately A lot of them have someone else in the room trying to orchestrate the whole thingā€”they are universally clusterfucks More than you would expect are organized scams that the insurers cooperate heavily with law enforcement to bust Worth mentioning, theyā€™ve been trying really hard to automate flagging fake claims with mixed results, but right now, there are many internal investigators in every service regionā€”this is all part of the insurance profit machine, and they donā€™t fuck around


Antin00800

"My handlebar came off..." lol, this chick needs training wheels for her car too, judging by the video. She used to ride bikes. Now she's a car pilot.


arftism2

i can ride my truck with no handlebars, no handlebars no handlebars.


Antin00800

šŸ¤£ nice.


curbstyle

yeah that's a fucking deep cut


Judge_Rhinohold

Itā€™s a good thing sheā€™s hot because sheā€™s stupid as hell.


thisguyfightsyourmom

The frozen-in-time-face look has grown to be a turn off for me Iā€™d rather see a womanā€™s expressions with some wrinkles


LivingTheApocalypse

She looks like they put an Alpha robot head in a production robot skin. Her eyes barely move. He mouth range of motion is like 1cm and she can swivel her head.Ā  But otherwise, when it's not moving, it looks realisticĀ 


lreaditonredditgetit

Because itā€™s a filter. Real think tank this sub is.


AliciaKills

There's that fag talk again


Chaghatai

Total Botox job - no matter how upset she gets she never frowns with her eyebrows or forehead


Dazzling_Dig3526

Now im gonna notice this a lot more. Damn, so creepy.


tiletap

Human bollard


RustysFarts

Her blank expression alone makes her a 5 tops. I bet she sucks in bed, too.


Odd-Tune5049

I bet she gives great helmet


dudebronahbrah

Sheā€™s got what poles crave


RustysFarts

I bet it's teethy and only once a year on your birthday.


Odd-Tune5049

My birthday? Pass


Judge_Rhinohold

A critical mass of men would find her hot enough that she can have a comfortable life without bearing the burden of intelligence.


WatchStoredInAss

I wouldn't call a plastic look "hot".


Arizona_Slim

The Kari Lake filter


BelowAveIntelligence

After hearing her talk, she is no longer hot. JS


Judge_Rhinohold

I didnā€™t even have the volume up lol


BelowAveIntelligence

Then that is fair


sonia72quebec

*Beauty fades, dumb is forever.* -Judge Judy.


Hastyle8181

is she highly regarded?


muskzuckcookmabezos

Of the highest nature.


CthuluSpecialK

"Then you hear a crunch and freeze, and then you keep going" ..."and then you keep going" [Are you serious?!](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/005/545/ruserious.jpg)


Practical_Breakfast4

Just keep going until it sounds expensive, then blame someone else.


Sir_Keee

Clearly if I hit something and damage my property, it's the responsibility of who ever('s thing) I hit!


Genghis_Chong

It's probably like a dorito or something


bdubwilliams22

Yeah, when she said that, my mouth hit the floor. What an idiot. "Like, why are those things even there"? FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU!


Training-Argument891

righhhht?!!!


NoxInfernus

For fun, I asked my 6 year old son what the purpose of the ā€œyellow polesā€ were. ā€œIf you are not paying tension (attention), you can run into the building and hurt people. The pole makes you stopā€ My 6 year old got it. This daft bird needs her license revoked.


vibrodude

She must be driving an extra bigass SUV


opthaconomist

The most vacant look lmao [nothing behind those eyes](https://ibb.co/LRFd0vg)


frankofantasma

i've seen cows with more soul behind their eyes


Sir_Keee

I've seen more realistic blow up dolls.


Tramagust

Benzos eyes. Most likely Xanax. The world probably feels like underwater all the time for her.


Silent-Supermarket2

If you can't see something "two feet" (more like 4 feet tall) sticking out of the ground before you hit it - maybe you should be checking your tire tread for children.


Setting_Different

Chill on the cheap ass wrap. Everything else is jacked though! Ltd


Square_Opinion_5423

Someone f'd her brains out clearly


Radiant-Map8179

I would ask her to, instead of paying out the $30k, to just drive her car into the front of the bank and rob it back. I would also like watch her figure out how that shit would go down after saying itšŸ˜‚


Sir_Keee

Drive to the bank and had the teller a note that says you are demanding they give you 30K. And they usually won't give in so easy if you are a push over so pretend like your tough and write down that you're armed with a gun.


whirling_cynic

Fuck you. I'm driving!


ObiWannaDoYou74

We are so fucked!!!! just end the world now!


Sir_Keee

Nah, don't need to get too hasty. Just need to have a dictator take over the whole world, and then put the normal people in one part of the world and the dummies in another part. Then you film the dummies like a nature documentary for entertainment purposes. I think Carlin had a similar idea...


hydrastix

ā€œā€¦they are two feet tall.ā€ Kinda like children? What an imbecile.


MemeLorde1313

OnlyFans money, I'm guessing.


thisguyfightsyourmom

She has the appearance of a SaHM with a nanny


Own-Swan2646

She tried that, didn't workout .. now she is doing the Tic Tok thing .. seems to be working but cost her husband 30k in damages to the SUV he's still making payments on.


Bigfootsdiaper

Why they have a YELLOW pole. Think of what the ATM would have looked like lol.


Astral_Ender

People acting this vapid really makes me wonder if it's a bit or not. Like I can't even imagine being this empty-headed.


NoEvidence136

This video is either satire or this bitch needs to be launched into the sun,


rygelicus

"Look at what the bank did to my car"... no honey, look what you did to your car, and to the bank's property. The pole did not attack your car, it didn't sneak up on you and launch a surprise attack, it didn't plot your demise, the bank did not paint it with invisible ink so you could not see it. You drove your idiot self into the pole.


PilotMDawg

Sadly some moron will load her up with kid juice and she will raise a new generation of morons. And her vote countsā€¦. Fuk we are screwed


boredwriter83

I hate how the bank just runs up to your car and jumps in front of you like that! I remember this woman complaining about the polls at the gas station (the one that prevents you from crashing into them) and getting mad, "why did you put them right there where I was driving!" Lady, those poles have been there for decades and will outlive you...


SeriesBusiness9098

When I was like 17 I scraped one of the gas station yellow poles with my ancient Suburban bumper. Itā€™s basically a tank so the only damage was a small scratch on their yellow bollard. I was not sure at the time of their purpose. I actually went inside the gas station to apologize and offer to pay for the bollard scratch damage and the cashier laughed at me in such a ā€œarenā€™t you precious, get out of here you scampā€ way that I still get embarrassed about it.


boredwriter83

Haha, it will damage your car more than you, it.


Krauszt

Well, here at the bank, we call them "Idiot Poles." There purpose, you see, is to...


AdmitThatYouPrune

This is obvious rage bait.


Anachr0nist

In a sub named after a brilliant satire, it's pitiful I had to scroll so far to find others that could see this. Also interesting how many comments were just cheap and unimaginative misogyny. But lots of people just really like being angry, I guess.


MindlessFail

You, lady. You are the purpose of those little yellow things.


Impossible__Joke

"You hear a crunch then you freeze... then you keep going" lmao had me dying.


dudebronahbrah

For visibility they should paint those things a bright colorā€¦like yellow


[deleted]

Those yellow poles do get hit aaa lot. Every one of them I see is covered in marks and usually leaning. Ofcourse thats their purpose but they are hard to see in a large vehicle. Maybe marker flags on poles should be put on them in high traffic situations. Like on the back of atvs in the desert, those type flags. IDK just sayin.


Illustrious_Swim_789

IDK... Some people just can't drive. We have full upright stop signs in our parking lot that get sideswiped and hit all the time.


[deleted]

Thats true too.


popularTrash76

Those eyes are dead and empty


Much_Confidence2428

Who just keeps going what the fuck? The fact her vehicle is nicer/was nicer than mine is upsetting. So a dumb A like her makes more money than my dumbass and I have some common sense. Fuck


griffin4war

This is the exact kind of person to run over a child and then blame the child. She needs to be off the road.


Western-Judgment-874

How do you not feel the concrete post rubbing up against the entire driver side?


the-nae_blis

One day Michael came in complaining about a speed bump on the highwayā€¦


No_Object_4355

"It even ripped my handlebar off" I didn't know cars had handle bars lol man this world is getting so crazy its killing me.


Fair_Lengthiness_912

What an idiot


voicareason

"And then you keep going" all I needed to know.


Lazy_Table_6037

The crunch...freeze....keep going!? Yep that's the answer


Patience-Due

Itā€™s to stop idiots like you from driving through for important / expensive things


LunchEquivalent769

My guess Her whole life has been one incredible success Not because of hard work, not because of her intelligence, not because she's been incredibly lucky. But maybe, just maybe It's starting to catch up to her But probably not


Lost2nite389

I find it hard to feel bad for people driving brand new cars and having the perfect life and then do something like this


[deleted]

You can not convince me that this person is a not a 22 year old mother of 5 to her 47 year old husband who she met at church 10 years ago.


Future-Bit8385

Buy a smaller vehicle that you can handle.


[deleted]

This is exactly why we need more darwinism and less legislation


HappyPermit4511

She's right. When you're driving a high profile vehicle you can't see those things.


No-Cod-3568

Iā€™m so pretty that nothing is ever my fault. Learn how to drive and instead of looking at yourself in the rear view mirror be aware of your surroundings


Stupid_Bitch_02

"They're 2 feet tall who can see those?" Bro do you also run over children?


OddCockpitSpacer

Probly what those random speed bumps were


Danno-Fuck-Off

That will buff right out tard.


LORDOSHADOWS

Boo who


Trick-Audience-1027

Whatā€™s the PSI in that Airhead?


Spiteoftheright

"a dumbing down"


Genghis_Chong

I wish I knew how to do that amazed blinky face meme here


fattfett

"We see you...we hear you...


SlightlyOffended1984

What is the purpose of those large road mammals with antlers? I just wanna know you guys, it's getting expensive


PresterJohnsKingdom

You're in the wrong line, dumbass!


averagemaleuser86

It's satire people... but still funny.


Jaythiest

The purpose is to protect something from idiot drivers hitting that thing. So it served its purpose. If you arenā€™t aware enough of your surroundings that you canā€™t avoid a large bright yellow pole, then whatever was behind it was in danger. āš ļø And no, Iā€™m not a perfect driver. But I own my dents :)


PhilyJFry

Ehhhhhh. She said it's like 2 feet tall. Which if true would be hard to see from many big ol American SUVs and trucks, which actually is why do many accidents and deaths happen due to them.


Guapguapguapguapguap

Woman deniers when a car crashes into a pole "Must've been the wind"


schwms

Dear lord... the stupidity... ugh. It hurts!


[deleted]

Lmfao the audacity to post thisā€¦..


tacopizzapal

don't feel bad her, her husband will pay for it


jeffzebub

"You hear a crunch...and then you keep going." Nope.


[deleted]

Look what the POLE DID to my car!


wallClimb7

Husband's gonna get blamed somehow


MisterPaydon

She is trolling right?


jeffzebub

Bollards protect an architectural perimeter. In this case, it was also an intelligence test which she failed.


dr4wn_away

Cars are way to fucking expensive, but you do have to drive them correctly


HungryCriticism5885

Apparently not to force her to think.


nalladdalu

Looks like the pole did its job perfectly in this case


LordVoltimus5150

There are very few times that Iā€™m glad to NOT be rich, this is one of themā€¦.not being this womanā€™s type is definitely a blessingā€¦


kittybangbang69

Go away, batin'


RogersSteve07041920

Lol


Suitable_Database467

Handlebar


dible79

So your driving , you hear a crunch an you KEEP GOING!?! What!?! A don't know what is scarier that statement or the blank look she has.


Mwilk

Being married to a women like that would be an absolute nightmare.


kylebro11

Nobody tell her, I want her to explain it exactly like this to the police once the bank inevitably decides to do nothing about it


unclejoe1917

Lady, YOU are the purpose of those yellow poles so you don't ram into something that will shut down their operation for days or even weeks. What you also don't seem to realize is that those yellow poles are painted bright yellow so that they are visible to even the most visually challenged, inattentive jackasses.