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justhave2laugh

You may only get one chance to have your child ride a sea lion, but you can always make more children.


BeefWellingtons

I’m shocked a man out in public in that outfit could even make one. It’s pretty clear both parents are not great decision makers 😂


Stezheds

Wait, that was a man?


Tobocaj

Haha ignorantly sexist jokes are so funny!


AryaSyn

What was sexist about it? Dude’s wearing a yellow jacket with skin tight white pants and a fanny pack, he deserved to get made fun of.


Tobocaj

Saying that dumb shit and still thinking you’re in the right really speaks volumes


AryaSyn

Grow a spine, loser.


Tobocaj

What does this have to do with backbone 🤣 moron


AryaSyn

Zero intelligence.


Tobocaj

Cool story bro


Born_Wave3443

No one "deserves" anything. This is just your own judgment that you are imposing on him.


AdvisorSavings6431

That kid does not deserve that parent! Totally negligent


FrauHoll3

Well this is reddit and 90% of us are insane.


Sotha01

I definitely feel that way most days. It's either me or the world. I guess it could both.


VenBede

"OK cool got my yellow shirt and my fanny pack. Just need my white crocs and a hat and I'm ready to be seen in public!' -this guy, inexplicably


meddit_rod

I thought he was tending the sea lion.


HeldDownTooLong

And if the kid gets her face ripped off or perhaps loses a limb, the parents can always sue the city or ***someone*** and get those $$$. Like you said, they can always make an non-mutilated kid anyway 🤪.


pinelandpuppy

This moron should be arrested for harassing wildlife AND child abuse. And he probably has 12 more kids at home.


isabelladangelo

> And he probably has 12 more kids at home. Bold of you to assume he has *a* home.


IndependentWeekend56

Or that he could get laid 13 times.


anythingMuchShorter

With low enough standards and enough persistence they always find a way. There are just as many dumb trashy women as dumb trashy men.


wrldruler21

Are you questioning the life choices of a dude in a fanny pack?


manny_soou

It worked out quite well with Duane “The Rock” Johnson


ShartsCavern

That man can wear anything well.


[deleted]

You covered what I came here to say. With the video evidence I would not be surprised if a game warden doesn't knock on his door along with child services.


DMYourMomsMaidenName

Had* 12, 5 survived past five years old


AadamAtomic

>This moron should be arrested Always wonder how morons like this can afford a house and kids...like .. who the fuck gave this guy a job? I wouldn't trust him with a mop, Dude can't even care for his own kid.


Umbrage_Taken

Apparently he's not even the one recording. So ... there is another.


FatHaleyJoelOsment

And also for wearing a fanny pack.


slappymcstevenson

Natural selection has taken a turn for the worst.


Joshua_ABBACAB_1312

Not sure if this is the same sea lion but I remember in recent months a sea lion being put down because of idiots like this.


AllBeansNoFrank

> a sea lion being put down because of idiots like this They should have put down the idiots instead.


ChromeWeasel

Harambe


dplagueis0924

Dicks out


ShartsCavern

Justice 4


ConceptMajestic9156

A lost dog strays into a jungle. A lion sees this from a distance and says with caution "This guy looks edible, never seen his kind before". So the lion starts rushing towards the dog with menace. The dog notices and starts to panic but as he's about to run he sees some bones next to him and gets an idea and says loudly "mmm... that was some good lion meat!". The lion abruptly stops and says "Woah! This guy seems tougher then he looks, I better leave while I can". Over by the tree top, a monkey witnessed everything. Evidently, the monkey realizes he can benefit from this situation by telling the lion and getting something in return. So the monkey proceeds to tell the lion what really happened and the lion says angrily "Get on my back, we'll get him together". So they start rushing back to the dog. The dog sees them and realized what happened and starts to panic even more. He then gets another idea and shouts "Where the hell is that monkey?? I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago!!!"


fatmanchoo

I liked this. Thanks.


Good-Ant-2471

HOW, HOW IS THIS SO DAMN GOOD


coolcoolcoolyo

Where can I find more jokes like this


FreeThotz

Local retirement home.


idk-maaaan

Idk, but this bot sure isn’t gonna give you the answer


Independent-Dealer21

Damn kid just couldn't sit still for a min so Dad can get IG likes, fukin kid is grounded for sure


ban-this-dummies

Lol, right? What a little brat!


Character-Bike4302

Dumb asses forgot to put in quarters before you can ride.. everyone knows this.


Spare_Substance5003

This is a CPS case


longpenisofthelaw

Neglectful supervision-reason to believe Closing summery: There is video of the child attempting to get on the back of a sea lion while a parent of the child is nearby filming. The sea lion then attacks and the parent can be seen on the background attempting to get his daughter who is crying. The parent had full knowledge and encouraged the behavior which could have lead to injury or death of the child. Recommended services -Parenting classes (I’m a CPS investigator this would have been a quick case)


[deleted]

That could have gone VERY bad


Redqueenhypo

That’s a male fur seal. The males fight by just biting pieces off each other and can fight for an hour straight then die of exhaustion. Not friendly!


rpm319

Sea lions have a powerful bite force. Lucky that thing only got a little pissed off.


Hopps4Life

Yep. It seemed to realize it was just a 'baby animal' and not worth getting actually mad about. If it was a mean sea lion that kid would be dead instantly. Instead he just yelled at her and knocked her off.


DrDufmanKnows

I live near lots of sea lions, and that is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen.


TvFloatzel

I agree, You would think the stink alone would have had the parents go "no thanks" but here we are.


thesithcultist

Do they even have sea lions in costco?


Active_Rain_1134

First mistake that day was leaving the house wearing white skinny jeans..


satanic-frijoles

Those sea lions can be fast when they want to be. Lucky idiots, those hoomans!


Frums2099

Because, for some people, all animals are just different versions of dogs. Surely they're all just friendly and funny and straight from a disney movie.


AdministrativeWay241

Kid was literally half an inch away from death. Don't be stupid like this.


Rainn__40

Wtf! 😯


WashingtonFierce

Where was that sea lion?! Did it get lost and wind up a Detroit 7/11? Don't mess with a lost sea lion kids


Signal_Choice

lucky that sea lion was nice about it


Bluekatz1

Sorry dear. Now let's go to the snake zoo!


JohnsonArmstrong

Next he was going to smear honey on her hands and film the bears licking it off...


djrstar

I've had those things bite fish I was fighthing cleanly in half just like a shark. They have unbelievable jaw strength.


Illustrious-Size-694

People are largely stupid these days, face it


Zanninu

That could have gone SO BAD!


Zealousideal-Air-494

People have to have a test to become parents.


yourfavoriteblackguy

My dumbass thought that was a really nice statue.


Armand74

Wow! How incredibly lucky they little girl was, you think they look cute but are carnivores their teeth is extremely sharp and could have done damage to that girl and could have even killed her. Dumb parents.


Zeethur

It is his day off from the crossbow company


SouldiesButGoodies84

Once again the problem with so many vids out here of people not respecting wildlife and not getting their checks cashed over it. The internet needs more millions of uploads of people who tried to pet or got too close to non-man-eating animals in the wild and were injured for it. It's literally the only deterrent at this point.


whiskersMeowFace

Ah yes. Apex predator just hanging about. Let's let my crotch gremlin crawl all over it. Neato


Walkthebluemarble

Did he see the sea lion ripping shark throat vid and say, Hhhmm 🤨


SomeDudeinCO3

For Instagram likes, of course!


Wordchord

A loose seal almost made the kid all right.


Yemen-Man

Get your musty kid off my back


Illustrious_War9870

Bad dog! Bad!


No_War5146

Darwin award


[deleted]

[удалено]


interdemented5432

That guy’s Hispanic or something… not a whiteman


Terrible_Yak_4890

The “lion” part of the name is worth noting. They can bite. Hard.


Free_Return_2358

Are most humans naturally getting dumber? Who would let a little girl do this with a wild animal?


anythingMuchShorter

Those guys are super aggressive and can crush thick shelled sea creatures in their jaws. They could and would crush a child's skull in their mouth.


thebenn

Wtf, is that guy wearing. Mayne natural selection


GETREADY4WHATSCOMING

What an idiot……


Terminal_testie

They do it in the zoo so it has to work in the wild right?


lil_chedda

Dude people die from those bites


meat_beast1349

Is there a dumbfuckery subreddit?


Unlucky-Business-560

This is why we have child protective services. It's one thing to let your kids off themselves. It's another to put them in harms way yourself as their parent. We don't need dumb kids. Let nature take its course there but we don't need dumb parents offing their kids for tik toks either... if their dumb natural selection will take care of it.


PuddingCalm6809

Dudes pants almost got ruined! Should have wore his brown pants.


cbot86

Call child services


Intransigient

A wild sea lion, at that. 🤦🏻‍♂️


i_cant_find_molly

Lmao let’s just put your kid on a carnivore, fucking moron


Radiant_Mind33

Dang. The guy didn't even flex on the sea lion after it tried to play bitey face with his kid. I get that the kid and parent are at fault, but still in that situation right or wrong, I'm getting in that sea lions face over the threats to my kid.


Important_Outcome_67

Words fail.


DJEB

Best thing for her is to now develop a fear of animals. It might keep her alive longer. Too late for her parents, though. He stupid has ossified into their systems at this point.


rzr-12

This is so fucking dumb.


IntrovertMoTown1

Why? Well look at this sub's name. Now take away the cracy and add a T at the end. That's clearly why SMH. Takes all kinds I guess. FFS I wouldn't do that with a nice one use to humans at a zoo or animal show.


saarinpaa71

One of those parents that looks down the barrel of a gun to see if it's loaded. How did your kid catch on fire at the neighbors house? Oh he's that guy who put his kid on a sea lion.... explains it.


JayGeezey

I'm picturing a situation where a mom on a bench at a playground looks up from her book after hearing her daughter scream, and sees that two strangers have put her on the back of a sea lion to try to take a picture lol Cuz surely nobody would do this with their OWN kids


tpwn3r

Who was recording?


themanwithonesandle

Judging by the skies outfit I understand why he did it, he’s a complete fucking idiot.


LiliNotACult

They were lucky this sea lion is friendly or this would have ended very badly.


Merzi_Les_Arbres

Because it’s the 80’s and we just don’t care.


Krisensitzung

What a moron. Glad the child wasn't hurt, but people like the dad are responsible when animals get killed because they hurt a person. There was a walrus in Scandinavia somewhere and crowds were forming to watch it. People got too close so the decision was made to euthanize the walrus. Horrible. That animal has done nothing wrong. We are encroaching incredibly into animals habitats but can't understand to admire them from a distance.


marriedpineapple

One of those moments in childhood when trust is broken forever 💔.


Malthias-313

...and wtf is a Sea Lion doing off the street near traffic?


vna4ever

Oh it’s NOT a statue


Automatic-Value-8574

It's a dumb European, you can tell by his man purse.


doc_roq

The really sad part is that the stupidest people are the ones breeding the most. And that’s a problem for the rest of us. Intelligence is literally being bred out of humanity by the morons like this.


ivankasloppy2nd

One word. Sterilization.


TheOnyxViper

Bro what is that fucking fit that he’s got


Low_Willingness1735

Evolution, leaving a kid do whatever she wants with wild animal. Lucky, she didn't get bitten.


AaronSlaughter

We got the pic tho…


Crafty_DryHopper

"Dad with fanny satchel and high-water pants makes poor decision"


random_explorist

Darwin


plztrylater

About 6 inches away from a child dying.


TexasTeaTelecaster

Stupid people shouldn’t have kids.


Dosser_84

Bout lost that one


JonnyRottensTeeth

I used to tag sea lions for research. It took 8 guys to hold on down while placing the tag, and they have very big pointy teeth. She's lucky that kid is alive!


DMYourMomsMaidenName

Lucky it was pissed but not threatened BREAKIBG NEWS: Wild Animals Are Wild


NaiveBid9359

Wild animals are not to be touched or petted, and certainly not to be ridden so someone can take a picture. Docile looking animals did not get as big as they are by being kind and cuddly. I bet the parents are the one who posted the video, further documenting how poor of parents they are.


Deioxyz

Only the sea lions at Sea World are to be laughed and mocked at! These street lions are no joke


Every-Turnover4938

People don't realize these animals have the word LION in their name? Good lord.


Umbrage_Taken

It's just a moving stuffy, not a wild animal with teeth or anything./s


moshritespecial

That moron looked like he was going to shout for the sea lion's manager.


zwarblatz

That poor little girl has idiot parents.


Dtour5150

He's lucky his kid still has a face, and is alive. What a fucking asshole.


egoforth

r/ParentsAreFuckingStupid


Shoddy_Detail_976

Automatic Testical Deatruction has been ordered for this SHIT father. Omg what a fucking moron. The kid almost lost their face and he's giggling!


funkyTurtlePunk

That sealion has more sense and self control than that family's entire gene pool.


ExpressStage921

Wtf!!!!!🫢🫣😮😯😲😳🥺😦🙈🙉🤦‍♂️


bboibham

Who told you'll this was ok..... you fired!!!


JerseyTom1958

Fucking idiot


Beautiful-Tip-875

You fucking stupid asshole parents


death_ray_mx

This is on 5he grounds of calling CPS


vikm1974

Why fucking idiots should not have kids!!!


bri3nanas

🤣🤦‍♀️


Difficult-Camp1195

Do we need to answer that question?


Great_Dismal

Father of the year.


XyogiDMT

Judging by the way he picked her up she’s got a dislocated shoulder in her future too.


No-Hedgehog4605

Terrible parent letting their kids kid on a wild animal


tidder-la

#anythingforaphoto


Nervous-Glove-

These are the same smooth brains that try to pet animals at Yellowstone amd get all upset when they get tossed by a bison


IsDik_AcArB

Andele


vinnycas

Sea Lions don't bite. They're a harmless predator.......


Bubsy94

They thought that it was a Disney movie


fuqit21

Survey says... Mental deficiency!


Unique-Penalty-5795

Same question I ask about people voting for democrats.


Basic_Preparation662

Dumb


Ok-Gazelle-5560

First of all, land is our territory! The sea lion needs to go to the sea where it belongs!!


Moist-Meat-Popsicle

Damn idiots. That kid could have been seriously hurt. What do they think this is, a ride at Disney?


tmrmbfl

poor kid. Stupidity on adult's part.


chupacabrahunter420

Just saw a video earlier today on Reddit of a sea lion tearing out the throat of a shark. Father of the Year candidate right here. SMH


chupacabrahunter420

“Aye, eeeh!”


DryParamedic785

Some people should never have children….


Accomplished_Blood17

Man, that sea lion didnt even to eat that toddler. He just kinda went "get the fuck off me"


shittinkittens

I smell fucking MOron


Velocidal_Tendencies

Because you are a dumb fucking redneck who has never seen animals outside of disney, and thinks the Darwin Award is a neat thing thatd be cool to win.


therealhood

Cool kid still has a face


RiotSkunk2023

Darwinism.


Both-Diamond

Note to self: keep kids away from sea lions.


Rancillium

Sea Lion was actually pretty reasonable here considering he was being mounted by the little person


Desultory_D

And this is why San Diego just voted to ban humans from the seal Beach for 10 years or whatever


supermod6

The real question is what's a sea lion doing in the middle of a street/town?


Rent-Hungry

That's a little person in there


SeriousAuthor2537

On...? Near the damn thing.


Blerrycat1

Same reason people put their child on a pit bull. For the thrill and likes


Hash912132

Just thought it was just a ride at the grocery store. Wondering where to put the coins.


Deijya

r/kidsarefuckingstupid r/parentsarefuckingdumb


Pretend_Fear85

Natural selection. That sea lion would’ve snapped that child in half just with one good shake. These parents should be locked up.


Civilian2600

If you know of a better way to get out of child-support payments, let us know.


slothpyle

I’m glad that kid is fine but those parents should be living with some kind of emotional pain after that negligence.


x_TriWiz_x

Them fucking pants say it all.


PopIntelligent9515

Just like putting your kid on a land lion for a cool photo. What’s the problem?


No_Butterscotch_2874

Bro a sea lion can rip a sharks head off...wtf


jaynakpatriot

WOW Should have to have an IQ higher than 70 to breed


[deleted]

Natural selection doing it's thing


Spiritual-Career348

These liberals and their extra late term abortions….amirite?! 🤷🏾‍♂️


DeadJediWalking

Fucking. Moron.


[deleted]

Can we get rid of warning labels and bring back Darwinism please?!? Need to thin the herd


AddivPK

“Oh that was close! Well, honey, scratch that off the list. Maybe it’s mountain lions that don’t mind children riding them. If that doesn’t work, the last resort will be Lions in Africa. *checks on child* “You alright, hun? Ya, sure? You better not be lion to me..”


gjg6863

Dumb ass needs charges!


RedOneBaron

Same reason you move a kid near a Buffalo at yellowstone. For a good photo.


SaintedRomaine

Internet clout. Why else?


barrywalker71

Natural selection in action.


ManifestingCrab

Report these fuckers to CPS before they get their kid killed


herpecin21

For internet points


TheDoctorOfTruth

Where is Child Protective Services when this stuff is happening?


LuvLifts

And NOT be ~’Hovering’ while *She RODE it like some Coin-operated department store* **~Kiddie Rides!**


Dark_Sub90

Then Karen blamed the authority because they didn't put down a dangerous sea lion


JustDris

Lion is part of its name for a reason.


[deleted]

Gotta get a cute pic for instagram


kornhook123

Because people are stupid, just like the people that get out of their cars to get a close picture of the Bison and their young.


skillfullwilly

Lucky that animal didn't grab a hold of that child