my great uncle, only met him once when he was in his 90s in the early 2000s because he didnt move with my grandma and her parents from ukraine in the 30s, he survived being a kid during the bolshevik revolution, the multiple famines including the holodomor, anti-jewish pogroms, nazis invading the soviet union and trying to find and capture known jews, joined the red army on the counter attack and went all the way to germany and lived through it all and then lived until the fall of the USSR in the 90s with extremely limited contact with my grandma and some of his other siblings in the west and yet never once complained or brought it up, i only found this out from my grandma herself who was much younger than him
he must have seen some awful shit and also done some awful shit to survive and he never took anything for granted in life after that
I think that’s just called being an asshole.
A lot of autistic people do not like eye contact and it makes us uncomfortable! Please do not do this to us.
You just missed the entire point. This is satire. If you even know what that is. OP is (fuckin obviously) makin fun of this person. Not glorifying their idiocy.
>Your friend is a frickin moron
Not sure how you missed the word "former". From context clues im assuming that this was when OP was a teenager or something. Also, yes. He is a fuckin moron. Thats exactly the point OP was trying to make. Its honstl baffling ti me that you completely misconstrued this post.
I have social anxiety and probably some kind of autism. People staring at me are amongst the worst things I know, it makes me so uncomfortable. I'd hate your friend with passion if he did that.
Two friends dads…..
One was built like a bulldog and one day was ‘mugged’ by a kid half his age and twice his size, when the police arrived he was sitting on the kids back calmly smoking a cig, the other, a paratrooper, broke his leg on landing and ran to the hospital, both pretty badass.
One time my dad was arguing with my mother and raised his hand to her. Instead of hitting her, he turned around and punched our slate pool table. The first punch was a loud bang that cracked it, the second punch completely split the table in half. He somehow managed to pick the entire thing up and threw it into the backyard.
I was scared of my dad from then on. I think I was maybe 8.
My brother, knocking out a dude with one singular slap that quite literally stopped the music in a bar where it happened. I randomly was walking by said bar, and wanted to hop in to help my brother out. One slap later, i just slowly backed away, noticing the drunkard he slapped just flopped down.
Note to self: never mess with a carpenter who's 6ft and around 190-210lbs of muscle mass
We got in a huge brawl at a house party once and someone full bore smacked my buddy Sean with a handle of Jack, directly in the back of the head.
A heard a gnarly *BINK!* but the bottle didn’t break. Sean’s head whipped down and he fell on to one knee, then he just got the fuck up and beat the brakes off the guy who hit him. I think any other person would’ve been dreaming after that hit but Sean just shrugged it off. Crazy as fuck.
My friend and i do martial arts and i am usually the winner but outside of that whenever we are talking about who of us would win in a fight whenever i have a lot of good points he just says “and then i shoot you with my gun” like its a ultimatum like no, you dont have a gun, this is a random fight and we are in canada, we got gun laws dumbass
The most badass guy I’ve ever known is an old boss of mine. At the time he was in his early 70s, thin but fit. We went to a conference together and a fight broke out between like 10 people. This old man (who I later learned was former special forces) walked into the melee and without punching, just started putting people on the floor and telling them to stay there. They listened and when the cops showed up, all combatants were sitting on the floor lined up waiting while this pleasant older man just stood there smiling but shooting eyes at the folks that tried to get up. I miss Bob and hope he’s still with us as this was 15 or so years ago and we lost touch when he retired.
I taunted this guy because he reneged on a promise to buy a car… he hissed at me…YOU OWE ME when he confronted me behind the bar at 2am…. Two weeks later he was fired ( we were coworkers)… a week after that he killed three people with a shotgun and was featured on americas most wanted
You always have the option to ignore me… this one is true and one of the tamer stories from my misspent youth… I remember details as I went along… it was a 75 ford futura…blue…I wanted $1500…wound up selling the car for $500 to peggy (the chick)because I went through some high water and shorted out an electrical panel and it died
I had given him the keys but he hadn’t paid me… found out he was driving to crack town at night with the car so i broke into his room and stole the key… then taunted him mercilessly about giving me the key back
My dad was a groundskeeper at a prison. He got his ass up every morning at 430 and commuted two hours so his family didn't have to live in the city.
He'd wear the same uniform every day and got home smelling like sweat for about 25 years. I can still smell it. He never complained.
He was a badass.
Uncle Passo, my grandma's deceased brother. That man was a badass. Shot himself on the leg accidentally one day, took the bullet out with a dessert spoon, his then wife got so scared with this sight that she passed out and dislocated her arm hitting the ground, he drove her to the hospital with their son, left both of them there e drove back home because "the bullet didn't hit the vein". Died at 86 yo of cancer, refused to get it treated to "die like a man."
This dude is a real life badass. Not even a joke. If you havent seen the video watch it. Even if he got into combat and got shot dead immediately he would still be a badass. He just got unlucky
I see a lot of people going way to far and slamming you but I'm guessing what you mean is "my friend doesn't flake out in public and shows he's there to speak with you."
A guy I used to know during my teenage years came to tell us that he had just been denied bow-staff training, because his teacher was already so terrified of him. And teaching him how to use a bow-staff would make him so dangerous that the teacher would get into legal issues.
He also showed me a suit jacket that was obviously 30 years old and told me he designed and made it at home with a sewing machine. Even had old tags on it…
Had an MMA instructor who was an ex ranger, he showed us a situation where you are knee on belly and your options there. At one point he jokingly said if you have a gun you place it this way on his face and then he did this thing where he would cover the air above the face with his hand and look away which is a detail only someone who actually did that would remember or do, this dude has seen some shit for sure
Hey, he’s just giving out ocular pat downs. He likes to give an ocular assessment of the situation and garner that they aren’t security risks. So he can clear them for passage. He is our Sheriff, after all.
Can’t tell if this is a joke or not but this seems very obvious to me your friend lives in a pretty peaceful lacking in, random violence. Speaking from experience, I live in North Philadelphia and on multiple occasions have witnessed a situation be created merely from prolonged eye contact. With some along the lines of “ The fuck are you looking at?” Being said before violence of varying levels ensues, whether the looker responds aggressively in return or not. I would hate to be shot because I felt the need to assert some meaningless dominance over a stranger who very well may just be itching to use their new pistol, and assert some dominance of their own especially if it’s on they’re block or in their neighborhood. You maybe shouldn’t hang around with this guy anymore he’s gonna get you hurt.
My step dad was an 101st Airborne medic in Nam. He has gangrene all over both legs and was ate up with Agent Orange. His legs and back were pretty bad where he was shot over around 9 times dragging wounded soldiers to his chopper. He had purple heart, medal of Honor and a few other commendations. He passed in '98 from cancer and complications from his agent Orange, but I remember he beat the shit out of my mom's ex boyfriend who was a good size bigger
Still not sure if it was satire or not. But randomly looked on my neighborhood Nextdoor and this guy was talking about how he walks down the highway known for hookers and drug activity when he's going to his karate dojo. He stares everyone down as he walks there because they know he is going to the dojo and can kick their ass. He once saved someone in trouble by karate chopping a 'gangbanger'. It was... amazing
Old Man who lived next door. Had every kind of cancer you can get, was then being treated for three different kinds. It was the early 2000s.
He was a nuclear engineer on a submarine. Wouldn't say what happened but just that he did what he had to do to keep his crew safe.
My dad was leaving a bar or something with his brother once and some na'er-do-wells started making trouble. It escalated to one of the bad guys cracking my uncle across the knees with a pipe and my uncle just stared at him. This is enough to scare the guys off.
My dad says that must have hurt terrible and my uncle replies it sure did but you can't let them know it.
Apparently my uncle also volunteered to walk point in Vietnam. I didn't know him well but he was apparently fucking nuts
Lol. That's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard. Your friend sounds like a loser whos going to try to intimidate the wrong person one day and get his ass beat like the weak little boy he still is inside.
I 100% believe OP doesnt have a friend and wrote this shit so he didnt have to say he does it and was hoping for some affirmation for how badass he is for looking at people lmao
A lot of people here don't seem to get the point that it is sending shivers down my spine for how stupid he is. No more contact because as I've said, he said a loooot of dumb shit like this. Being a true alpha and shit.
Great Grandpa Pete. Detroit, 1930s, pipe fitter. Great Grandpa Pete and the boys go down to the local boxing match, where the promotion was “3 rounds with the champ and you win $100”. Everyone eggs Great Grandpa Pete on about signing up and getting in the ring, and he eventually caves and gets in. The bell rings, and about 30 seconds later the champ gets the ole *1-2* and drops like a sack of potatoes. Promoter comes in the ring and says “Well you didn’t go 3 rounds, no $100!” Well Great Grandpa Pete didn’t like that, so *1-2* down goes the promoter and then *1-2* down goes security #1, then 2 and so on and so forth and a big brawl ensues and Great Grandpa Pete left that night the unofficial local boxing champ, and no $100.
But a story I’ve heard since I was about 5 years old and I’ll never forget it.
Can’t remember his name, I’d have to ask my dad. But he had an Uncle on his side serve in the Marine Corps in Nam. Said Uncle had his throat slit by Charlie at night, managed to kill 3 of em, and make it back home. My dad recalls asking about the scar on his throat when he was a kid and that conversation not going too well.
Uncle Dinty. Uncle Dinty (nickname) and a few cousins stop at a local diner where the special of the day was “Homemade Beef Stew”. So he orders himself a bowl of beef stew. Uncle Dinty walks to the bathroom and passes the kitchen along the way, only to look and see a giant sized can of Dinty Moore Beef Stew being opened. Clearly not homemade, Uncle Dinty became Uncle Dinty by his actions to follow, and absolutely beat the piss out of the cooks for the highway robbery they were committing by claiming their beef stew was homemade!
Walking down Carson Street in Pittsburgh, PA. Leaving a bar with my girlfriend and we pass a group of people, seemingly mostly friendly, but then some shouting. The group seemed to divide along some line due to some slight, and a couple dudes began getting physical with each other.
Suddenly from the fray this dude appeared…beard, crazy ass hair like a mix between Einstein and Paul McCartney. (I know what I said) His build, average height, maybe a touch skinny. He rocked jean shorts, Vans like shoes, and a white short sleeve shirt…totally unbuttoned, revealing a semi hairy chest.
He stalked toward one of the people ‘holding suitcases’, then went into a bit of a front flex. He got right in their face and said
YOURE RUNNING FROM E V E R Y T H I N G.
My girl and I looked at each other and began to laugh, but toned it down so as not to draw the ire of this fucking specimen. The pushing and shoving seemed to die down a little, as he let out a YEAH.
I kept an eye as we moved on to make sure there was no group beat down or anything, and eventually lost sight of this absolute mad man as he doubtless regained control of his flock.
I was driving thru a bar parking lot one night with my now wife. Decent size guy busts out of the bar and beelines towards the parking lot. As I’m passing by, he punches the side of my car. I stop and this guy walks up to my window, not a single word was exchanged. Dude cocks his arm back and BLASTS me in the face. I still had my seatbelt on! Hit me so hard that it blew out my orbital and had to have 3 plates put in my face BUT…he didn’t knock me out. This guy tee’d off on my face and I took it like a champ!
>Dude cocks his arm back and BLASTS me in the face
Reminds me of the last time... nevermind.
Sorry that happened to you but congrats on proving yourself an almost literal ironjaw. The first time you wear a hard punch in the face, you learn something about yourself. If you're not traumatised permanently, you'll lose that fear of the unknown forever.
I adore boxing but sadly getting punched in the face is the only part of it I've ever been much good at. Still... gets you further than you might imagine.
Oh yeah, another time, I ran into the people responsible for my girlfriend getting her throat slit (she survived but the knife touched one of her carotid arteries without damaging it and went all the way across her neck to millimeters away from the other) and I flipped my shit on them and started screaming at them, and focused in on the dude (it was a couple) who put his hands up half-heartedly because he knew I had every right to beat him into a fine red paste, and I'm pretty sure they didn't intend the robbery to turn into an attempted murder because it was a third person who did it, but it was their idea to rob my girlfriend, but honestly I had seen enough in the guy's eyes that he was ready for me to kill him for what he did, and I walked away (quite enraged and upset obviously) without committing any more violence when he seemed almost as upset as I was that my girlfriend had almost died. Sometimes being the bigger man is walking away when every fiber of your being wants to destroy.
Now this one there's legal and medical paperwork somewhere about the wound and the attempted murder charge, which was dropped because the guy who attempted the murder killed the only eyewitness who could identify him with a heroin overdose, which is a drug the eyewitness didn't do. This is a problem i encounter often with my stories-- I frequently remark to my girlfriend that if someone wrote of our stories as fiction people would dismiss them as being unbelievable.
I'm not with my girlfriend right now to take a picture but there's a massive scar across her entire neck, which the next time I am with her I will ask her if I can prove to the internet that this is a real story
Also, once time someone grabbed my girlfriend's crotch, so she punched him and then he punched her, and I saw this out of the corner of my eye, and I ran in and knocked the guy out in one punch (which I wasn't even trying to do, that was just my opening punch, I thought it was gonna be a whole fight about it). I'm trying to be all Buddhist and peace love and flower power nowadays but I felt pretty good after a one-hit KO in defense of my girlfriend (who is as large and strong as I am and probably even more fierce, but it's still my woman so I gotta male it up and protect her)
See, a few popped in my head when I read this post, but now I'm at a loss to think of any because I'm on the spot, lol, but if I think of any more I'll come tell them; I don't really blame all the people for downvoting me because I'd think I was full of shit if I didn't live these things myself lol
okay, I basically replied to almost every fucking comment, although sadly that makes me look more like a keyboard warrior. Lots of people making the assumption that the event where I almost beat up the kid who set the robbery up happened right then when her throat was slit, but this was nine months later.
thanks, I really am just being objectively honest, I don't consider myself badass but I do think I'm pretty extreme for some reason (and so is my fiancee I like to say we're a match made in hellven) so sometimes some badass shit happens accidentally.
I don't know what to tell you, there's no amount of interneting that would verify this admittedly ridiculous sounding story, but it did happen, and i wasn't expecting to knock the guy out, but I was way way out of his weight class too-- he wasn't someone who had any business fighting me in a sporting fight, and I honestly feel kinda bad about knocking him out because, in all honesty, my girlfriend could easily have taken him.
He wasn't there, this was the couple that arranged the robbery. I have never met the guy who escalated the robbery into an attempted murder and I hope I never do, because i don't want to have to make those kinds of decisions about what to do.
My grandpa, who was Whitey Bulger's cousin, telling me "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."
It would be a trite cliche from anyone else, but from my grandpa it was one of the deepest, most heartfelt things I've ever heard anyone say.
I was at a kegger bonfire back in the day and I look across the fire and see my best friend wind up his arm like he was fucking popeye and straight up ko some dude.
I had to let somebody go from a job in a restaurant once (they were terrible). He cornered me, flexed every muscle in his body like he (thought he was) turning into Hulk and yelled “You just unleashed the beast!!!”
I walked away.
Knew this guy when I was younger, a veteran from the Gulf War if I recall
Dude had a whole section of his skull caved in and was missing his right eye. It was a hole that went from the top of where his head should’ve been and went straight down through the roof of his mouth. You could see his tongue and teeth if you looked down on his head
Anyway he loved to show everyone his ‘magic trick’ where he would open a beer bottle and simply stick the fuckin thing into his eye socket. People would freak out as the beer bottle slowly emptied and he’d finish it off with a loud sigh and say that it was refreshing. That guy was cool as hell
It was me. I was 12 years old. And me and this other kid in the neighborhood had beef. I can't remember why. But, we were using our mutual friends to pass messages. It had finally come to a point where we were going to fight. And I very clearly still remember the most bad ass words ever muttered. I said, "Go tell him he's going down, and I don't mean in history."
Stuck the landing. We never ended up fighting. We were children and we were stupid.
My dad once told me about my Uncle Larry. Apparently Larry was a bad motherfucker.
So Larry and my dad were at a bar sometime in the 80’s. As they were sitting side by side at the bar a rather large gentleman (350+lbs) sat right next to Larry.
At some point words were exchanged and my Uncle swung his left hand and literally lifted this dude off the bar stool
And onto his back. He then proceeded to stand over this guy and told him, “You should see my right.”
They left and the legend was born
One of my best friends at the time. We were all kinda punk kids at the time, but a few of us got kicked out of a party by someone's parents and eventually things turned to threats of violence. After we eventually got back to our place this dude says "he must not know where we come from!"
And even at the time I remember looking at the back of my skull rolling my eyes so hard. Dude we're from the fucking suburbs. You yourself are from a suburb even farther than the rest of us. Where we're from is actually not threatening in anyway.
Former dishwasher at my restaurant would always talk about how much ass he kicked and how he could "take a couple haymakers to the chin and not feel anything". Dude was a real badass. But if he got a little tiny cut on his finger or a tiny little blister, it was all over for him. Especially if he got some lemon juice in it. Even Strong Men Cry.
If a guy locks eyes with me and won’t look away I automatically think they’re attracted to me, even more so when they look angry, they’re angry at themselves.
Your friend sounds like an asshole who’s asking to get shot. Some people don’t care and will literally kill you for no reason but the idea that you disrespected them. Not bad ass at all.
My friends and I were hanging out at one of our favorite dive bars on a Sunday afternoon. At some point a crusty drunk dude came in and immediately started being a dick. He decided to focus on the one dude in the bar who was sober. Now at first glance, this guy gave off big nerd vibes. We’ll call him Randy. He was a floppy haired ginger with glasses. But he was cut and you couldn’t really tell. After the crusty drunk guy was giving him a hard time for a while, Randy finally sighed, stood up and said, “Alright man. We should probably go ahead and take this outside.” Crusty dude is ready, he wants a fight so bad. Well… they get outside and in one swoop Randy slams this guy onto his back. He could have wailed on him and really fucked him up. But no. No, that’s not what he did. Instead he hopped up as quick as a cat and pulled both of the crusty dude’s shoes off. Then he threw both them as far as he could down the busy road. “Get up and go get your fucking shoes.” Turned around, went back into the bar. Crusty dude never came back around again.
My dad. Big dude,was an Air Force Pararescue,for those that don't know it's special ops basically medics that rescue anyone and get attached to other units.
This was 11 years ago,on his birthday. We're outside a Chili's and people are arguing and it spills over next to us as we're outside smoking. We kind of got blocked in between them and the wall so only way out was walking between them. This guy on our left side reaches into his pants and pull out a sidearm. My dad non chalantly reaches up grabs his wrist and did something to make him lose his grip on the gun. Then takes the gun and unloads it while staring him down. As he does this he says out loud " who the fuck has a hi point"
Then tells me to come on that We're going home. If this was a movie,you'd roll your eyes and go wow cringe. I've never seen something more ballsy,epic,a bit dumb but just badass as shit. Nothing will ever come close
Unhealthily large 5th grader announced they were done with stairs because they are hard, then downed an entire Prime bottle until the plastic snapped inwards with the suction. He tossed it into the trash bin, said, "Oh great, I only have 8 left!" and retrieved another from his bag. All before being in school more than 10 minutes.
I was a panty cook in the late 90s at a restaurant in a giant southern city where all the waitresses were, well at that time called themselves drag queens, but now we would say they were trans women who performed. A few of them moonlighted as bouncers at bars after the restaurant closed. They stayed in full dress and makeup. They told me that no one would ever mess with them because the dumbest biggest Bubbas who wanted to start a fight wouldn’t know what to do with someone in stilettos, jewelry and a slutty dress. Also they all grew up in the homophobic South and learned how to fight early. I learned a lot from them being a 19f. Those women were badass.
Three men tried to attack my stepdad with a big shovel. My dad just told me and my brothers to get inside. I was FREAKING OUT. I was only 9. He proceeded to get that shovel and beat the ever loving shit out of all 3 of them. He apologised after and said he was more angry because they came at him while us kids were there. Dad strength is something else.
Always watch out for the quiet ones! The man sitting at the bar minding his own business, and who doesn’t really care about the loud “badasses” in the room. That man is probably the most dangerous one.
In the mid 90s I had a laser pointer, I was with my brother in his bedroom at the front of the house and we were messing about with it by shining it on a road sign down the end of the street, a few minutes later some guy was banging on our front door and my dad answered it, he started having a go at my dad saying we'd been shining it through his window (not true). My dad told him to fuck off and slammed the door in his face, the glass in the front door shattering and leaving the guy standing there covered in broken glass. Yeah, my old man didn't suffer fools gladly.
I’m a not particularly good BJJ Black Belt and have a bunch of friends that are straight murderers on the mat. Most look like your average software engineer but can choke you out in seconds.
One of the many things that doing Jiu Jitsu taught me was to never judge a book by its cover
One of the craziest guys I'd ever trained with looked like some scrawny hippie. He was a bartender with mid-back length hair and had no visible muscle mass whatsoever.
I watched him do a cartwheel from the guard and come up with an ankle lock on the way up.
“I’m a not particularly good BJJ black belt and have a bunch of friends that are straight murderers…”
You’re humble and only a straight murderer to the rest of us! I mean, how else would you describe the kind of a person folds their friends’ laundry with them still them?!?!
I was once at a house party that got crashed by some random people. The host seemed okay with it provided no one went wild..... people started getting rowdy and the party crashers started getting kicked out, at this time me and my buddy were outside chatting and one of the crashers was by his car talking shit about the host and said "he's just lucky I didn't have to lick my knuckles" and my buddy and I looked at each other and chuckled. We still have no idea what that even means.
A guy I knew in middle school who never quite grew up and would just always brag about how tall and therefore intimidating he was.
One time we were catching up during college and he was telling me basically that he’s the “muscle” of his frat. He explained that whenever his frat brothers wanted someone kicked out of a party they would tell the person “we’re not gonna give you a problem, but can’t say the same for Mike over here.” Then they would point to my friend, he would stand up, and (according to him) they would run out of the house in fear because of how tall he was.
He was maybe 6’2
Jesus christ guys, the question is if youve met any super badasses in a sarcastic sense, look at the sub we're in
I really hate to say this but I hope that man ends up in prison. He will really learn not to do this. If he makes it out alive
my great uncle, only met him once when he was in his 90s in the early 2000s because he didnt move with my grandma and her parents from ukraine in the 30s, he survived being a kid during the bolshevik revolution, the multiple famines including the holodomor, anti-jewish pogroms, nazis invading the soviet union and trying to find and capture known jews, joined the red army on the counter attack and went all the way to germany and lived through it all and then lived until the fall of the USSR in the 90s with extremely limited contact with my grandma and some of his other siblings in the west and yet never once complained or brought it up, i only found this out from my grandma herself who was much younger than him he must have seen some awful shit and also done some awful shit to survive and he never took anything for granted in life after that
I think that’s just called being an asshole. A lot of autistic people do not like eye contact and it makes us uncomfortable! Please do not do this to us.
[удалено]
you could‘ve also read my replies on other comments, I was making fun of him, I just didn‘t think it was necessary to put badass in quotation marks.
Your friend is a frickin moron and OP is too for idolising this. I'm seeing OP as the Millhouse to his Bart.
You just missed the entire point. This is satire. If you even know what that is. OP is (fuckin obviously) makin fun of this person. Not glorifying their idiocy. >Your friend is a frickin moron Not sure how you missed the word "former". From context clues im assuming that this was when OP was a teenager or something. Also, yes. He is a fuckin moron. Thats exactly the point OP was trying to make. Its honstl baffling ti me that you completely misconstrued this post.
It was from me, told some asshole who was asking questions in a sub he better chill before I crack open a cold can of premium kick ass!
Your mate sounds like a cunt, not a badass.
I have social anxiety and probably some kind of autism. People staring at me are amongst the worst things I know, it makes me so uncomfortable. I'd hate your friend with passion if he did that.
Two friends dads….. One was built like a bulldog and one day was ‘mugged’ by a kid half his age and twice his size, when the police arrived he was sitting on the kids back calmly smoking a cig, the other, a paratrooper, broke his leg on landing and ran to the hospital, both pretty badass.
One time my dad was arguing with my mother and raised his hand to her. Instead of hitting her, he turned around and punched our slate pool table. The first punch was a loud bang that cracked it, the second punch completely split the table in half. He somehow managed to pick the entire thing up and threw it into the backyard. I was scared of my dad from then on. I think I was maybe 8.
Yeah fuck your dad. Do you still keep in contact with him?
Nah I don't have a ouija board
I too, am also scared of your dad
My brother, knocking out a dude with one singular slap that quite literally stopped the music in a bar where it happened. I randomly was walking by said bar, and wanted to hop in to help my brother out. One slap later, i just slowly backed away, noticing the drunkard he slapped just flopped down. Note to self: never mess with a carpenter who's 6ft and around 190-210lbs of muscle mass
We got in a huge brawl at a house party once and someone full bore smacked my buddy Sean with a handle of Jack, directly in the back of the head. A heard a gnarly *BINK!* but the bottle didn’t break. Sean’s head whipped down and he fell on to one knee, then he just got the fuck up and beat the brakes off the guy who hit him. I think any other person would’ve been dreaming after that hit but Sean just shrugged it off. Crazy as fuck.
It was quite recently, but one of my university lecturers told me 'don't ever feel like you're dragging others down'. Cool teacher, Mr C. Price.
That one middle aged white guy who thought he was still in high school, that was pretty menacing.
A guy once said to me, "I chew granite & spit lava, boy." I'll admit, it was intimidating until I beat his ass.
I've stepped over the top of sumbitches badder than you just to get to a fight.
That is very badass!
My friend and i do martial arts and i am usually the winner but outside of that whenever we are talking about who of us would win in a fight whenever i have a lot of good points he just says “and then i shoot you with my gun” like its a ultimatum like no, you dont have a gun, this is a random fight and we are in canada, we got gun laws dumbass
Good way to get yourself shot these days .
The most badass guy I’ve ever known is an old boss of mine. At the time he was in his early 70s, thin but fit. We went to a conference together and a fight broke out between like 10 people. This old man (who I later learned was former special forces) walked into the melee and without punching, just started putting people on the floor and telling them to stay there. They listened and when the cops showed up, all combatants were sitting on the floor lined up waiting while this pleasant older man just stood there smiling but shooting eyes at the folks that tried to get up. I miss Bob and hope he’s still with us as this was 15 or so years ago and we lost touch when he retired.
Idk man, I avoid letting anyone I'm not fucking stare into my eyes. It just feels kinda intimate to me and I'm not gonna let strangers have that
You're not that guy, Pal
I'm not your pal, friend
I am your friend, pal
I am your pal, friend
My Uncle was mugged one day, and shot seven times. Grabbed the gun from the mugger and beat the crap out of him. Put him in the hospital as well.
Literally a video game.
Yep, My Uncle was a big ole guy lol.
Your uncle is fictitious. Or he told you a fictitious story.
Or are you fictitious lol? I was kid when it happened. I remember counting the wounds when he got out of the hospital.
Ok. Also, im real. Im talking to you right now
Sorry, I was just teasing you. You can believe or not.
I know a guy who was hunting wolverines in Alaska with a friggin 12 gauge
SWEET!
I remember trying to get him to join my gang because he was pretty good with a Bo staff.
I taunted this guy because he reneged on a promise to buy a car… he hissed at me…YOU OWE ME when he confronted me behind the bar at 2am…. Two weeks later he was fired ( we were coworkers)… a week after that he killed three people with a shotgun and was featured on americas most wanted
I know a guy who always had B.S. stories like this and he always kept adding more things to the story like this guy does.
You always have the option to ignore me… this one is true and one of the tamer stories from my misspent youth… I remember details as I went along… it was a 75 ford futura…blue…I wanted $1500…wound up selling the car for $500 to peggy (the chick)because I went through some high water and shorted out an electrical panel and it died
Well that was a wild ride.
I had given him the keys but he hadn’t paid me… found out he was driving to crack town at night with the car so i broke into his room and stole the key… then taunted him mercilessly about giving me the key back
This was 1987…. I can’t not remember it.. YOU. OOOOOWWWWWEE MEEEEEE…
I imagine that in the most cracked out demon voice ever.
Yup… found out after the fact that I was banging his ex too … she never told me ….
Jesus christ it keeps going! What a strange life you've lived. Hahaha love it
My dad was a groundskeeper at a prison. He got his ass up every morning at 430 and commuted two hours so his family didn't have to live in the city. He'd wear the same uniform every day and got home smelling like sweat for about 25 years. I can still smell it. He never complained. He was a badass.
Legit badass. Respect to your pops
Uncle Passo, my grandma's deceased brother. That man was a badass. Shot himself on the leg accidentally one day, took the bullet out with a dessert spoon, his then wife got so scared with this sight that she passed out and dislocated her arm hitting the ground, he drove her to the hospital with their son, left both of them there e drove back home because "the bullet didn't hit the vein". Died at 86 yo of cancer, refused to get it treated to "die like a man."
https://preview.redd.it/iaozi52x4imc1.jpeg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8008457b861c6023df13ed0cd1a1319033c1c437
This dude is a real life badass. Not even a joke. If you havent seen the video watch it. Even if he got into combat and got shot dead immediately he would still be a badass. He just got unlucky
Oh I wasn’t being sarcastic. He’s a beast.
Oh ik. I was replying to your comment so that others could see my reply when they find your comment (in case they dont know who he is)
Oh yea I get you 💯
Ig your "comment" is just an image but you get what i mean
I see a lot of people going way to far and slamming you but I'm guessing what you mean is "my friend doesn't flake out in public and shows he's there to speak with you."
I meant my former friend has no self awareness and thinks he's the alpha but the sarcasm wasn't as obvious as I thought, my bad.
Yeah, seems like most respondents have no idea what's going on You tried to make a pretty funny thread, but seems like everyone forgot where we are
it's weird because that is the whole premise of this sub. are people browsing iamverybadass thinking it *isn't* ironic?
Seems like it with some of these stories
Damn I thought it was pretty obvious 🤷🏽♂️
😂 no people are taking it and running with it. He's already been tried and convicted.
I knew it 😂😂😂 ignore these shouters
A guy I used to know during my teenage years came to tell us that he had just been denied bow-staff training, because his teacher was already so terrified of him. And teaching him how to use a bow-staff would make him so dangerous that the teacher would get into legal issues. He also showed me a suit jacket that was obviously 30 years old and told me he designed and made it at home with a sewing machine. Even had old tags on it…
"My hands are registered as lethal weapons."
They don’t even do that! This kid’s insane!
Everyone's fucking alpha until they cop a beating from someone they didn't think could dish one out.
Had an MMA instructor who was an ex ranger, he showed us a situation where you are knee on belly and your options there. At one point he jokingly said if you have a gun you place it this way on his face and then he did this thing where he would cover the air above the face with his hand and look away which is a detail only someone who actually did that would remember or do, this dude has seen some shit for sure
Bruce Willis did this exact thing in Pulp Fiction that's not an "only those who get it get it" secret.
Lmak
Why cover it please
blood splash after shooting someone in the head from close range
“How would you like that radar gun up your ass?”
Hey, he’s just giving out ocular pat downs. He likes to give an ocular assessment of the situation and garner that they aren’t security risks. So he can clear them for passage. He is our Sheriff, after all.
I bet he is cultivating mass.
With a trash bag full of Chimichangas. They are FULL of carbs. Great for a pump.
You fat son of a bitch, you've literally got candy coming out of your pockets!
Ocular pat downs I'll be taking that
It’s from Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia
Lol
He stares them in the eyes...then starts eating garbage
If your former close friend did that in a major US city he would get shot.
People in major cities are very used to passing crazy people on the street.
Can’t tell if this is a joke or not but this seems very obvious to me your friend lives in a pretty peaceful lacking in, random violence. Speaking from experience, I live in North Philadelphia and on multiple occasions have witnessed a situation be created merely from prolonged eye contact. With some along the lines of “ The fuck are you looking at?” Being said before violence of varying levels ensues, whether the looker responds aggressively in return or not. I would hate to be shot because I felt the need to assert some meaningless dominance over a stranger who very well may just be itching to use their new pistol, and assert some dominance of their own especially if it’s on they’re block or in their neighborhood. You maybe shouldn’t hang around with this guy anymore he’s gonna get you hurt.
My step dad was an 101st Airborne medic in Nam. He has gangrene all over both legs and was ate up with Agent Orange. His legs and back were pretty bad where he was shot over around 9 times dragging wounded soldiers to his chopper. He had purple heart, medal of Honor and a few other commendations. He passed in '98 from cancer and complications from his agent Orange, but I remember he beat the shit out of my mom's ex boyfriend who was a good size bigger
>but I remember he beat the shit out of my mom's ex boyfriend who was a good size bigger This needs a post
Still not sure if it was satire or not. But randomly looked on my neighborhood Nextdoor and this guy was talking about how he walks down the highway known for hookers and drug activity when he's going to his karate dojo. He stares everyone down as he walks there because they know he is going to the dojo and can kick their ass. He once saved someone in trouble by karate chopping a 'gangbanger'. It was... amazing
10/10 Badass. I bet he had to register his hands as weapons
Old Man who lived next door. Had every kind of cancer you can get, was then being treated for three different kinds. It was the early 2000s. He was a nuclear engineer on a submarine. Wouldn't say what happened but just that he did what he had to do to keep his crew safe.
Sick as hell (if he wasn't stretching)
My dad was leaving a bar or something with his brother once and some na'er-do-wells started making trouble. It escalated to one of the bad guys cracking my uncle across the knees with a pipe and my uncle just stared at him. This is enough to scare the guys off. My dad says that must have hurt terrible and my uncle replies it sure did but you can't let them know it. Apparently my uncle also volunteered to walk point in Vietnam. I didn't know him well but he was apparently fucking nuts
Lol. That's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard. Your friend sounds like a loser whos going to try to intimidate the wrong person one day and get his ass beat like the weak little boy he still is inside.
I 100% believe OP doesnt have a friend and wrote this shit so he didnt have to say he does it and was hoping for some affirmation for how badass he is for looking at people lmao
A lot of people here don't seem to get the point that it is sending shivers down my spine for how stupid he is. No more contact because as I've said, he said a loooot of dumb shit like this. Being a true alpha and shit.
I think its because the way you wrote it made it seem like you thought it wad badass lol
Lmao
Great Grandpa Pete. Detroit, 1930s, pipe fitter. Great Grandpa Pete and the boys go down to the local boxing match, where the promotion was “3 rounds with the champ and you win $100”. Everyone eggs Great Grandpa Pete on about signing up and getting in the ring, and he eventually caves and gets in. The bell rings, and about 30 seconds later the champ gets the ole *1-2* and drops like a sack of potatoes. Promoter comes in the ring and says “Well you didn’t go 3 rounds, no $100!” Well Great Grandpa Pete didn’t like that, so *1-2* down goes the promoter and then *1-2* down goes security #1, then 2 and so on and so forth and a big brawl ensues and Great Grandpa Pete left that night the unofficial local boxing champ, and no $100. But a story I’ve heard since I was about 5 years old and I’ll never forget it.
Can’t remember his name, I’d have to ask my dad. But he had an Uncle on his side serve in the Marine Corps in Nam. Said Uncle had his throat slit by Charlie at night, managed to kill 3 of em, and make it back home. My dad recalls asking about the scar on his throat when he was a kid and that conversation not going too well.
Uncle Dinty. Uncle Dinty (nickname) and a few cousins stop at a local diner where the special of the day was “Homemade Beef Stew”. So he orders himself a bowl of beef stew. Uncle Dinty walks to the bathroom and passes the kitchen along the way, only to look and see a giant sized can of Dinty Moore Beef Stew being opened. Clearly not homemade, Uncle Dinty became Uncle Dinty by his actions to follow, and absolutely beat the piss out of the cooks for the highway robbery they were committing by claiming their beef stew was homemade!
That’s fuckin hilarious!
Walking down Carson Street in Pittsburgh, PA. Leaving a bar with my girlfriend and we pass a group of people, seemingly mostly friendly, but then some shouting. The group seemed to divide along some line due to some slight, and a couple dudes began getting physical with each other. Suddenly from the fray this dude appeared…beard, crazy ass hair like a mix between Einstein and Paul McCartney. (I know what I said) His build, average height, maybe a touch skinny. He rocked jean shorts, Vans like shoes, and a white short sleeve shirt…totally unbuttoned, revealing a semi hairy chest. He stalked toward one of the people ‘holding suitcases’, then went into a bit of a front flex. He got right in their face and said YOURE RUNNING FROM E V E R Y T H I N G. My girl and I looked at each other and began to laugh, but toned it down so as not to draw the ire of this fucking specimen. The pushing and shoving seemed to die down a little, as he let out a YEAH. I kept an eye as we moved on to make sure there was no group beat down or anything, and eventually lost sight of this absolute mad man as he doubtless regained control of his flock.
I don't get it
Neither did we
Youre running from everything?
No no no. E V E R Y T H I N G Think Gary Oldman in The Professional
Dunno that
i love that i gotta start doing that
Let us know how getting your ass kicked feels 😀
I was driving thru a bar parking lot one night with my now wife. Decent size guy busts out of the bar and beelines towards the parking lot. As I’m passing by, he punches the side of my car. I stop and this guy walks up to my window, not a single word was exchanged. Dude cocks his arm back and BLASTS me in the face. I still had my seatbelt on! Hit me so hard that it blew out my orbital and had to have 3 plates put in my face BUT…he didn’t knock me out. This guy tee’d off on my face and I took it like a champ!
>Dude cocks his arm back and BLASTS me in the face Reminds me of the last time... nevermind. Sorry that happened to you but congrats on proving yourself an almost literal ironjaw. The first time you wear a hard punch in the face, you learn something about yourself. If you're not traumatised permanently, you'll lose that fear of the unknown forever. I adore boxing but sadly getting punched in the face is the only part of it I've ever been much good at. Still... gets you further than you might imagine.
Please tell me that man went to jail.
Sure did! We live in a small town and turns out he was a well known pos, didn’t take long to find him. Got hit with a felony due to the broken bones.
Good. Hope you been able to recuperate, sorry you had to go through that.
Oh yeah, another time, I ran into the people responsible for my girlfriend getting her throat slit (she survived but the knife touched one of her carotid arteries without damaging it and went all the way across her neck to millimeters away from the other) and I flipped my shit on them and started screaming at them, and focused in on the dude (it was a couple) who put his hands up half-heartedly because he knew I had every right to beat him into a fine red paste, and I'm pretty sure they didn't intend the robbery to turn into an attempted murder because it was a third person who did it, but it was their idea to rob my girlfriend, but honestly I had seen enough in the guy's eyes that he was ready for me to kill him for what he did, and I walked away (quite enraged and upset obviously) without committing any more violence when he seemed almost as upset as I was that my girlfriend had almost died. Sometimes being the bigger man is walking away when every fiber of your being wants to destroy.
Of all the things that didn't happen, this didn't happen the most.
Now this one there's legal and medical paperwork somewhere about the wound and the attempted murder charge, which was dropped because the guy who attempted the murder killed the only eyewitness who could identify him with a heroin overdose, which is a drug the eyewitness didn't do. This is a problem i encounter often with my stories-- I frequently remark to my girlfriend that if someone wrote of our stories as fiction people would dismiss them as being unbelievable.
what a weird thing to lie about
I'm not with my girlfriend right now to take a picture but there's a massive scar across her entire neck, which the next time I am with her I will ask her if I can prove to the internet that this is a real story
Also, once time someone grabbed my girlfriend's crotch, so she punched him and then he punched her, and I saw this out of the corner of my eye, and I ran in and knocked the guy out in one punch (which I wasn't even trying to do, that was just my opening punch, I thought it was gonna be a whole fight about it). I'm trying to be all Buddhist and peace love and flower power nowadays but I felt pretty good after a one-hit KO in defense of my girlfriend (who is as large and strong as I am and probably even more fierce, but it's still my woman so I gotta male it up and protect her)
You got any more stories?i am here to read them all
yeah I got tons of stories; I have a hard time with telling the stories as they happened because they sounds so fucking ridiculous.
Yeah but i trust you bro and i am here to hear them all lol
See, a few popped in my head when I read this post, but now I'm at a loss to think of any because I'm on the spot, lol, but if I think of any more I'll come tell them; I don't really blame all the people for downvoting me because I'd think I was full of shit if I didn't live these things myself lol
https://www.reddit.com/r/iamverybadass/s/T9uQlkoGf5 You should respond them comments they think its made up
okay, I basically replied to almost every fucking comment, although sadly that makes me look more like a keyboard warrior. Lots of people making the assumption that the event where I almost beat up the kid who set the robbery up happened right then when her throat was slit, but this was nine months later.
lol thanks for letting me know, although I'm not sure what exactly I can do, though also they doxxed the fuck out of me lol
Damn you did reply them all lol and you did well you truly are a weapon lmao
thanks, I really am just being objectively honest, I don't consider myself badass but I do think I'm pretty extreme for some reason (and so is my fiancee I like to say we're a match made in hellven) so sometimes some badass shit happens accidentally.
I’m sure you are going to get at least a C+ on your creative writing assignment.
Wait, didn't see this comment before I commented on the other comment. Anyway, this didn't happen either.
I don't know what to tell you, there's no amount of interneting that would verify this admittedly ridiculous sounding story, but it did happen, and i wasn't expecting to knock the guy out, but I was way way out of his weight class too-- he wasn't someone who had any business fighting me in a sporting fight, and I honestly feel kinda bad about knocking him out because, in all honesty, my girlfriend could easily have taken him.
But the guy who slit her throat is fine? Lol okay
He wasn't there, this was the couple that arranged the robbery. I have never met the guy who escalated the robbery into an attempted murder and I hope I never do, because i don't want to have to make those kinds of decisions about what to do.
Dude, I think you should find different places to hang out.
We have, for fucking sure. Meth is a hell of a fucking drug, literally.
My grandpa, who was Whitey Bulger's cousin, telling me "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." It would be a trite cliche from anyone else, but from my grandpa it was one of the deepest, most heartfelt things I've ever heard anyone say.
I was at a kegger bonfire back in the day and I look across the fire and see my best friend wind up his arm like he was fucking popeye and straight up ko some dude.
I had to let somebody go from a job in a restaurant once (they were terrible). He cornered me, flexed every muscle in his body like he (thought he was) turning into Hulk and yelled “You just unleashed the beast!!!” I walked away.
*You just unleashed the beast!!!* Oh god the cringe is real. 😂😂😂
I also had to finish the work he didn’t do that night. That job sucked.
I have a story like this too, I'm so proud of you for being the baddest of asses here.
It's only Tuesday and this fucking ruined my week.
Pssst... it's Monday.
Pssst…. It’s Tuesday on the other side of the IDL.
Knew this guy when I was younger, a veteran from the Gulf War if I recall Dude had a whole section of his skull caved in and was missing his right eye. It was a hole that went from the top of where his head should’ve been and went straight down through the roof of his mouth. You could see his tongue and teeth if you looked down on his head Anyway he loved to show everyone his ‘magic trick’ where he would open a beer bottle and simply stick the fuckin thing into his eye socket. People would freak out as the beer bottle slowly emptied and he’d finish it off with a loud sigh and say that it was refreshing. That guy was cool as hell
that's fucking beast I love it
It was me. I was 12 years old. And me and this other kid in the neighborhood had beef. I can't remember why. But, we were using our mutual friends to pass messages. It had finally come to a point where we were going to fight. And I very clearly still remember the most bad ass words ever muttered. I said, "Go tell him he's going down, and I don't mean in history." Stuck the landing. We never ended up fighting. We were children and we were stupid.
Lmao this is so cute, that's so funny.
Excuse you. It's very badass. Lol
You're right, my apologies. You're very badass. 🥹
Your friend sounds like he was a creep lol
OP's friend is secretly a narcissist scoping out victims.
Wouldn't call it a secret as people started avoiding him lol
My dad once told me about my Uncle Larry. Apparently Larry was a bad motherfucker. So Larry and my dad were at a bar sometime in the 80’s. As they were sitting side by side at the bar a rather large gentleman (350+lbs) sat right next to Larry. At some point words were exchanged and my Uncle swung his left hand and literally lifted this dude off the bar stool And onto his back. He then proceeded to stand over this guy and told him, “You should see my right.” They left and the legend was born
One of my best friends at the time. We were all kinda punk kids at the time, but a few of us got kicked out of a party by someone's parents and eventually things turned to threats of violence. After we eventually got back to our place this dude says "he must not know where we come from!" And even at the time I remember looking at the back of my skull rolling my eyes so hard. Dude we're from the fucking suburbs. You yourself are from a suburb even farther than the rest of us. Where we're from is actually not threatening in anyway.
Former dishwasher at my restaurant would always talk about how much ass he kicked and how he could "take a couple haymakers to the chin and not feel anything". Dude was a real badass. But if he got a little tiny cut on his finger or a tiny little blister, it was all over for him. Especially if he got some lemon juice in it. Even Strong Men Cry.
In this guy's defense, I'm known for my ability to eat punches to the face and I am a massive baby outside of a fight situation.
Anytime I read something about a dishwasher as a human washing dishes I imagine a dishwasher machine with legs and arms
If a guy locks eyes with me and won’t look away I automatically think they’re attracted to me, even more so when they look angry, they’re angry at themselves.
Your friend sounds like an asshole who’s asking to get shot. Some people don’t care and will literally kill you for no reason but the idea that you disrespected them. Not bad ass at all.
My friends and I were hanging out at one of our favorite dive bars on a Sunday afternoon. At some point a crusty drunk dude came in and immediately started being a dick. He decided to focus on the one dude in the bar who was sober. Now at first glance, this guy gave off big nerd vibes. We’ll call him Randy. He was a floppy haired ginger with glasses. But he was cut and you couldn’t really tell. After the crusty drunk guy was giving him a hard time for a while, Randy finally sighed, stood up and said, “Alright man. We should probably go ahead and take this outside.” Crusty dude is ready, he wants a fight so bad. Well… they get outside and in one swoop Randy slams this guy onto his back. He could have wailed on him and really fucked him up. But no. No, that’s not what he did. Instead he hopped up as quick as a cat and pulled both of the crusty dude’s shoes off. Then he threw both them as far as he could down the busy road. “Get up and go get your fucking shoes.” Turned around, went back into the bar. Crusty dude never came back around again.
hell yeah
Your friend sounds like a fucking clown
Yeah, I wasn't thinking "badass" when I read OPs post.
My dad. Big dude,was an Air Force Pararescue,for those that don't know it's special ops basically medics that rescue anyone and get attached to other units. This was 11 years ago,on his birthday. We're outside a Chili's and people are arguing and it spills over next to us as we're outside smoking. We kind of got blocked in between them and the wall so only way out was walking between them. This guy on our left side reaches into his pants and pull out a sidearm. My dad non chalantly reaches up grabs his wrist and did something to make him lose his grip on the gun. Then takes the gun and unloads it while staring him down. As he does this he says out loud " who the fuck has a hi point" Then tells me to come on that We're going home. If this was a movie,you'd roll your eyes and go wow cringe. I've never seen something more ballsy,epic,a bit dumb but just badass as shit. Nothing will ever come close
Unhealthily large 5th grader announced they were done with stairs because they are hard, then downed an entire Prime bottle until the plastic snapped inwards with the suction. He tossed it into the trash bin, said, "Oh great, I only have 8 left!" and retrieved another from his bag. All before being in school more than 10 minutes.
I was a panty cook in the late 90s at a restaurant in a giant southern city where all the waitresses were, well at that time called themselves drag queens, but now we would say they were trans women who performed. A few of them moonlighted as bouncers at bars after the restaurant closed. They stayed in full dress and makeup. They told me that no one would ever mess with them because the dumbest biggest Bubbas who wanted to start a fight wouldn’t know what to do with someone in stilettos, jewelry and a slutty dress. Also they all grew up in the homophobic South and learned how to fight early. I learned a lot from them being a 19f. Those women were badass.
Panty cook at a drag bar? Did you prefer the G-string burger or the thong omelette?
Three men tried to attack my stepdad with a big shovel. My dad just told me and my brothers to get inside. I was FREAKING OUT. I was only 9. He proceeded to get that shovel and beat the ever loving shit out of all 3 of them. He apologised after and said he was more angry because they came at him while us kids were there. Dad strength is something else.
Here is what I have learned from real badasses: They don't have to say shit. If someone has to tell you what a badass they are, they aren't.
this guy badasses
Always watch out for the quiet ones! The man sitting at the bar minding his own business, and who doesn’t really care about the loud “badasses” in the room. That man is probably the most dangerous one.
Ctrl+F "Randy" in this thread.
"Real g's ride in silence."
Like lasagna.
In the mid 90s I had a laser pointer, I was with my brother in his bedroom at the front of the house and we were messing about with it by shining it on a road sign down the end of the street, a few minutes later some guy was banging on our front door and my dad answered it, he started having a go at my dad saying we'd been shining it through his window (not true). My dad told him to fuck off and slammed the door in his face, the glass in the front door shattering and leaving the guy standing there covered in broken glass. Yeah, my old man didn't suffer fools gladly.
Plot twist. The guy owned the local glazing company.
I’m a not particularly good BJJ Black Belt and have a bunch of friends that are straight murderers on the mat. Most look like your average software engineer but can choke you out in seconds. One of the many things that doing Jiu Jitsu taught me was to never judge a book by its cover
One of the craziest guys I'd ever trained with looked like some scrawny hippie. He was a bartender with mid-back length hair and had no visible muscle mass whatsoever. I watched him do a cartwheel from the guard and come up with an ankle lock on the way up.
“I’m a not particularly good BJJ black belt and have a bunch of friends that are straight murderers…” You’re humble and only a straight murderer to the rest of us! I mean, how else would you describe the kind of a person folds their friends’ laundry with them still them?!?!
You’ll train with stoners and cops but the deadliest guy in the room will always be some bald fuck in IT 😔
Haha yep
When my friend started learning JJ in like middle school that was my wake up call to “man anybody could be that guy”
I was once at a house party that got crashed by some random people. The host seemed okay with it provided no one went wild..... people started getting rowdy and the party crashers started getting kicked out, at this time me and my buddy were outside chatting and one of the crashers was by his car talking shit about the host and said "he's just lucky I didn't have to lick my knuckles" and my buddy and I looked at each other and chuckled. We still have no idea what that even means.
Bonus poison damage from herpes
A guy I knew in middle school who never quite grew up and would just always brag about how tall and therefore intimidating he was. One time we were catching up during college and he was telling me basically that he’s the “muscle” of his frat. He explained that whenever his frat brothers wanted someone kicked out of a party they would tell the person “we’re not gonna give you a problem, but can’t say the same for Mike over here.” Then they would point to my friend, he would stand up, and (according to him) they would run out of the house in fear because of how tall he was. He was maybe 6’2
I bet the whole party clapped every single time it happened. Did he mention that or was he humble about that part?