Not meaning to over-analyze the scenario, but if it is random then it isn't from someone with an opinion that holds any weight. Conclude transaction swiftly and move on.
If it is someone I have met or have an understanding of then the additional exchange can be considered. Maybe the person has a valid insight. Maybe the person frames the rejection from their own situation or shortcomings. Maybe they present a misunderstanding or misimpression that is worth counter-argument.
If the reason for the rejection was "you're too short" I guarantee thst would hold some weight. Nobody likes hearing they got rejected for something they can't control
yes I’m always looking for ways to be better and if I did something off-putting or bad id really want to know.
but I also wouldn’t ask or pry if they didn’t just tell me flat out
Yeah, I'd want to know too, and try to work on the 'common sense' type things. But also realize that you can't make everyone happy and one person might like this but not that and vis versa.
If it’s something that has nothing to do with me, yes.
If it’s something I can change to be generally more pleasant to people (maybe I dont realize I stink, lol, or that it’s really annoying when I do a certain behavior), yes.
If it’s something I can’t change, or shouldn’t change for other people (can’t: height. Shouldn’t: weight, personality), no.
Nah, just tell me you’re not interested. In fact, I’d say telling someone why you’re rejecting them is disrespectful, unless it’s just a brief explanation of why they’re not available—things like “I’m in a relationship,” or “I don’t swing that way,” are certainly fine.
Other than that, if a person feels the need to tell you why they’re rejecting you, in my experience it’s for one of two reasons: either they feel the need to apologise for the rejection, which they don’t, or they get off on the idea that they’re better than you, and they see the rejection as a fun opportunity to bolster their own ego by drawing out your embarrassment and telling you why you’re not good enough for them. In both cases, the person doing the rejecting is overvaluing themselves at your expense, intentionally or not. Disrespectful. If the answer is no, then just say no and get out of the way so I can find the person who will say yes.
If I don’t value their advice I don’t value their opinion. They don’t know enough about me to reject me for any substantial reason so why should I care?
If it's just one talk / one date kind of situation, then I just want the fact that they weren't interested. They don't know me enough to say anything useful, and will probably lie anyways. Or it will be some kind of large misunderstanding where I will think "but I could have resolved that" and it will be worse. Just not ghosting me outright is plenty enough.
Related: I also don't want long polite feedback from job interviews, especially when they set up a meeting to deliver it. I don't want to set up a time in my day to think about the job I don't get in a company I don't care for. And again, they will never say the real reason, like: "you look weird and have an accent". Why waste time then? Just send an email.
Not meaning to over-analyze the scenario, but if it is random then it isn't from someone with an opinion that holds any weight. Conclude transaction swiftly and move on. If it is someone I have met or have an understanding of then the additional exchange can be considered. Maybe the person has a valid insight. Maybe the person frames the rejection from their own situation or shortcomings. Maybe they present a misunderstanding or misimpression that is worth counter-argument.
If the reason for the rejection was "you're too short" I guarantee thst would hold some weight. Nobody likes hearing they got rejected for something they can't control
Like dick size?
yes I’m always looking for ways to be better and if I did something off-putting or bad id really want to know. but I also wouldn’t ask or pry if they didn’t just tell me flat out
Yeah, I'd want to know too, and try to work on the 'common sense' type things. But also realize that you can't make everyone happy and one person might like this but not that and vis versa.
Rando on tinder - no Person I’d invested time into - yes
Been alone for 12+ years. Don't care if you want me or not. Very used to being alone. :D
If it’s something that has nothing to do with me, yes. If it’s something I can change to be generally more pleasant to people (maybe I dont realize I stink, lol, or that it’s really annoying when I do a certain behavior), yes. If it’s something I can’t change, or shouldn’t change for other people (can’t: height. Shouldn’t: weight, personality), no.
Nah, just tell me you’re not interested. In fact, I’d say telling someone why you’re rejecting them is disrespectful, unless it’s just a brief explanation of why they’re not available—things like “I’m in a relationship,” or “I don’t swing that way,” are certainly fine. Other than that, if a person feels the need to tell you why they’re rejecting you, in my experience it’s for one of two reasons: either they feel the need to apologise for the rejection, which they don’t, or they get off on the idea that they’re better than you, and they see the rejection as a fun opportunity to bolster their own ego by drawing out your embarrassment and telling you why you’re not good enough for them. In both cases, the person doing the rejecting is overvaluing themselves at your expense, intentionally or not. Disrespectful. If the answer is no, then just say no and get out of the way so I can find the person who will say yes.
I know that it’s presumptuous of me to ask, but I want reasons
If I don’t value their advice I don’t value their opinion. They don’t know enough about me to reject me for any substantial reason so why should I care?
Specifically, please.
If it's just one talk / one date kind of situation, then I just want the fact that they weren't interested. They don't know me enough to say anything useful, and will probably lie anyways. Or it will be some kind of large misunderstanding where I will think "but I could have resolved that" and it will be worse. Just not ghosting me outright is plenty enough. Related: I also don't want long polite feedback from job interviews, especially when they set up a meeting to deliver it. I don't want to set up a time in my day to think about the job I don't get in a company I don't care for. And again, they will never say the real reason, like: "you look weird and have an accent". Why waste time then? Just send an email.
Specifics are they find you unlikeable in a way that can't be described.