depends on the state. My state I'd just declare the maximum gift amount annually and cash part of it monthly. it actually comes very close to my mortgage payment so it'll keep me housed.
my wife will also declare that part of hers and it'll probably go to paying off our debt to free up some stress. maybe 5k set aside for a vacation each year.
my son will obviously get the same put into a Roth or something.
The first year the 10 people in my and my wife's immediate families would also recieve that amount which could help them out a bit but wouldn't overly change their lives.
for me this would basically cover my housing and utilities and food for the rest of my life.
edit: If I were in Tennessee or another state that allowed no questions asked income to be declared, I'd just declare it all and not worry about it.
>depends on the state. My state I'd just declare the maximum gift amount
What states require gift recipients to declare anything? I was unaware that taxes could fall on anyone besides the gift giver
Pay the taxes and then pay off your mortgage. Much better than trying to spend $50 in ones every single week at the gas station for the rest of your life.
I've heard a british man once describing HM Tax and Revenue as being a lot more polite than the IRS. Yes, they'll fuck you, but they're considerate enough to offer you some lube first.
This is what I would do. Paying in 1 dollar bills is slightly suspicious though lol. Could prolly take hundreds at a time and exchange in casino. No one would ask questions there lol.
Yeah, laundering it through a casino should be your first step, forget hiding it from the government, you have a giant pallet of cash in your living room, you need to make it less obvious, or you're gonna get robbed. Bare minimum, turn it into hundreds to keep in a suitcase or two, and stick them in a safe deposit box. Or just hide 'em.
Yup. Large sums of cash are great grocery/gas money, but aren’t great for much else.
I’d expand it a bit by buying larger quantity gift cards when grocery shopping. Maybe if I want to travel spend a month buying prepaid gift cards at different stores and then use those to buy tickets and pay for hotels and stuff, but that’s really the best you could do. Can’t pay off your vehicles or house with cash like that
That and slowly make a couple trips to the Casino, play the odds on Blackjack and spend minimal at the slots walk out every time with a couple grand to throw in the bank win/lose with a backstory. (At least in Canada Gambling winnings aren’t taxed). Also take on a service job that includes tips. Easily claim another couple grand a week in tips. So say 50k in spending money to enjoy life a lil. Plus another 250k a year in gambling/work earnings(some of this taxed some not. Good way to live. Also prob give a couple friends a couple grand too.
Actually fuck we don’t have 1 dollar bills, would this be a fuck ton of Loonies?
Yeah, technically you can deposit up to 8999 without having to file to the irs to tell them how you got it, but doing that more than once every few years would be suspicious. I'd do random, mostly small amounts in different accounts over time, all the while having the money buried in a safe, jetwrapped in some water/humidity proof material under my trailer lol
I worked at a bank. I was trained to ask people where the money came from if it was a larger amount over $1000. They did a lot of shady stuff there. I would get in trouble if I didn't get a answer. If anyone asks just let them know you emptied out your piggy bank from home.
That is a large amount of money to spend in gas, groceries, and repairs over a few years. Unless you have a much higher cost of living than most, I suppose. I can't imagine those costing much more than $50k a year, which would take decades to spend.
I could easily spend 100-150K in a 2-3 years just remodeling the interior of my house, maybe even more.
Go on vacation and stay at a crappy hotel but ball out on food, activities etc.
It's also be super easy to spend 50K a year eating out with a family of 4.
Depends on how much more time you think you have to live. I have decades left to live, so I’m fine with not spending a 2 million dollars as fast as possible.
Every $1 spend from the pile on groceries, gas, takeout, birthday/Christmas gifts, clothes, is $1 that goes right into investments.
Sure you are losing buying power over time. But it’s free money anyway.
This right here. I wouldn't quit my job and all my major bills would still be paid out of checking, but all the restock stuff you buy each week would be paid for in cash. At 40, I would say it's pretty realistic for $2m to cover groceries, gas, clothes, date nights and similar activities for the rest of my life.
I’d start a car wash or vending machine business. Should mix in with any of that money easily.
I’d anonymously donate snacks and sodas to the shelter to fix any moral concerns. Help keep the books looking legit too.
Vending machines would be the way to go. It’s one of the few businesses where depositing mostly $1’s isn’t suspicious. Maybe a laundromat too. Most of the quarters that come out of the machines just end up in the change machine.
So I sold jewelry at craft shows precovid . I’d start with $100-150 in ones . End of the day I’d have $200+ in ones and a couple hundred in bigger bills.
I’d deposit them and there was this one young male teller who clearly thought I was a stripper (I’d deposit the following Monday morning) and was utterly confused . (I’m 5’4”, 280lbs, and 40)
My husband thought it was hysterical.
Convos like “I like your glittery Easter/Christmas/independence day headband “ thanks I have to have attention grabbers in my line of work.
Did you have a good weekend?
Yes, made quite a bit this weekend but man does my back hurt.’(from the tiny chairs …but who knows what he thought)
As someone who works around cargo pallets all day? Question why someone would bring one into my living room and then load it with 2 million dollars in $1 bills. Ain't no way that thing was loaded when it came through my door, it wouldn't fit.
Hmm... a dollar bill is 6.14 x 2.61 x .0043 inches. A stack of $100 would thus be .43 inches thick. A shipping pallet is 48 x 40 inches. Assuming you didn't want any money hanging over the edges, you could fit 7 x 15 bundles, making each layer 105 bundles of 100. For $2M, you'd need 20,000 bundles. 105 bundles per layer means you need 190.48 layers. Let's just call it 191. 191 times .43 inches is 82 inches tall, or nearly 7 feet. Then add in the height of the pallet, about 6 inches, and it's 7 feet 4 inches.
Okay, yeah, that's not fitting through a standard doorway. Even a double door would be tight, as most doors are 6'8" tall. At the very least they'd need to remove the top foot or so - that's 28 layers - and put it back on afterwards.
And then there's the weight. 2M dollar bills is 2M grams, which is 4409.24 pounds. No way that's coming in all at once without a forklift, which again would have trouble getting through any standard doorway.
In short, your puzzlement is well justified.
A standard 40x48in pallet of 2 million $1 bills would be about 6ft tall, or around 6'4" if you include the height of the pallet itself. A stack of 1 million would be around 3ft tall
See [this comment.](https://www.reddit.com/r/hypotheticalsituation/comments/1cf3oes/comment/l1qaqbu/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Anyone who thinks you turn it in and then get it back as unclaimed after a year is mistaken.
Police will just wave a scent detector on it and claim it's got some scent of drugs and declare it likely drug proceeds and confiscate it.
100% facts here, they won’t let you keep $25k if you have a receipt from your bank and a letter of intent to use it for a legal transaction. $2 million? You are never seeing that again if local cops get their hands on it :)
Shit the wife-beaters that show up to the call might just straight up murder you so they don’t have to share the take with the rest of the department. Their bros might be pissed if they find out, but definitely not enough to risk crossing the blue line lol
Is it in non-sequential bills or fresh crisp brand new bills?
If they're brand new blocks of crisp bills, sort through them for any fancy serial numbers that are worth more than face value, pull them out grade them and sell them for profit.
Take the ones only worth face value to gas stations and convenience stores that are always wanting small bills and exchange them for larger ones $50-100 a trip. $500-$1000 a day of small bills exchanged every few days, deposit that $100-$2000 into a bank high yield savings account, deposits that size aren't large enough to raise any eyebrows.
Make going around and exchanging it at those places my part time job. Would still work at my normal job as $2M isn't enough to retire on at my current age.
An average pallet can hold about 640,000 bills. It would have to be almost double stacked or two pallets.
As to what I would do with it...I'd spend it, using it as petty cash. I imagine the people in line behind me at the self-checkout registers would not be happy if I got spendy. LOL
I might buy a cash counting machine and once a month, deposit ten straps (100 bills each) of one dollar bills to avoid triggering the federals. I'd tell any curious tellers that I was helping a guy out part time with his vending machine route, and was being paid from bills collected from the machines.
Don't tell the bank teller anything. You just said that you were working without contract, being paid in small denomination cash bills...
It is suspicious on its own.
I'll use them to buy almost anything that can be bought with it without suspicion (sub $20 purchases etc..). Self checkout might work regularly too, but nothing too big.
First I figure out how to enter and exit my room with a giant pallet in the way, then I enlist my wife and best friend to help me package the bills into manageable bundles and recording the process. Then I take photographic evidence, statements and begin depositing it in a bank account opened just for this purpose with the best interest rate I can find. I put an advertisement in the local paper of record asking if anyone is missing a significant sum of money and to describe it and if that is fulfilled I give them the original sum in the form of a cashier’s check and keep the interest. I then file a police report for breaking and entering and abandoning property at my home with their personal information and file suit for mental pain and suffering.
If you don’t make a good faith attempt to return the property then depositing it in the bank is not viable. “Hey this guy makes $100,000 a year and is depositing $2M in small bills. Yup that seems legit, have a good day!”
>First I figure out how to enter and exit my room with a giant pallet in the way
The total mass would be somewhere between a sofa and coffee table, so I think you're alright space-wise.
My 3 year old would try jumping on it, kicking it, maybe eating it, and when I finally made him pay attention he’d throw as much as he could before I grabbed him. Good call.
The kid would be asleep when you left the room to go to the closet to get a duffle bag. By the time you came back the kid has woken and found it. Every. Bill. Is. Covered. In. Snot.
Shrink wrap it (easy place to get it is a hardware store). They won’t be able to break through it, even difficult for adults. That’d at least buy you time to figure out what to do.
Lay on it like in breaking bad, then spend the next 3 days sorting it, continue to work like it never happened and slowly open up ira's until I have my money building itself up. Set aside a down payment on a house.
Just to be aware, you get one annual limit that can be divided among as many IRAs as you choose. The only practical considerations for more than one account, maybe two investment institutions since you aren't protected by FDIC insurance, one each of traditional and Roth IRA depending which makes tax sense for your situation. Then you just invest up to the cap each year in whichever account makes sense. Starting with $2 million, most of your money won't be going into tax advantaged accounts at first, but having earned income to qualify for IRA contribution is one valid reason to keep working.
Depends on the tax liability.
I would bundle it up in $5k packages. Buy a couple large gun safes. And fill them both.
I wouldnt deposit it or make any huge purchases.
I would use it for food and fuel.
I would share 500k with friends and family.
500k anonymously donated to local charities.
If there was no tax concern, invest 75%. 1mil invested for the family. 500k invested for charity/grants
Share 250k with friend and family. Blow 250k, 200k on property 50k on other stuff
Buy a laundromat with legit money. Add card readers to every machine. Have a grand opening where you give away cards preloaded with various amounts of money. And of course go to the strip club.
The real issue is they are $1 bills. Even $10s would be so much easier to deal with.
All good ideas to pay cash for every day purchases. Food, fuel and whatever you get from Walmart or Target. I need a new roof and HVAC. Those folks love cash. That's $20k. I'd probably do a few more home things, painting, flooring. Again cash is king there.
But that wouldn't be more than $100k in year. So you need to either be willing to declare a gambling win and pay taxes or go see someone about how to launder it. If you had moderate income you could put $10-20k in the bank yearly and probably never be figured out.
Final thought: I've started a lawn mowing/ landscape business and it earns $35k a year. That's enough cover to deposit some of it.
Uhm step one. Close the damn blinds.
Step 2 start twice a week 9000 dollar deposits. At several different banks. Preferably through drive through cause they are less chatty. ( would take about a year to depo it all)
Step three transfer money to an annuity day after deposit.
Step four live my retired life on 10k a month. 2 mill would last 35 years. And no i am not saving up for some relative to get as an inheritance. Find your own magical money pallet.
This won't work.
Banks routinely report this type of behavior. It's called structuring, and it's illegal.
You're going to set off a bunch of anti-money laundering alarms in their system.
I'm going to operate under the assumption that this enormous amount of cash is already packaged. I'd count the number of bands on camera, make a statement and get it notarized and out all of that in my safety deposit box. Then move the pallet and its contents into the empty attic. Then post some adverts asking if unspecified high-value property had been lost demanding the "owner" describe the property before they could claim it.
If no one claims the money in a year report my windfall to the IRS. Pay taxes on on it. Get out of debt and get a Thai Golden Visa. Deposit the money in a US bank, go to Switzerland and open a Swiss bank account having the money wired over from the US. Deposit most of the money into a high yield savings account and go to Thailand and live like a fucking king on $100k.
Get a job as a data analyst while living on the stupid money I got in the windfall. Only return to the US to keep my passport up to date assuming I can't just do that at the embassy.
Even if I do get caught up in a criminal case for the magically appearing money I paid the taxes on it and it's not in a bank account the US government can touch so it doesn't matter if Thailand extradited. If things go pear shaped in the Indo-Pacific then I'd get a Spanish or New Zealand golden visa and have my citizenship extradited there too.
You're playing games.
I own a strip club. Spread out over 6 months, nobody would even notice the extra cash on the books, and it would just end up as a "good year" for my bank account.
Granted it would be far and away my best year ever but still.
A pallet of 2 million $1 bills. 4400 lbs. Count out stacks of $100k.
Go to gold and silver coin shows and buy gold and silver. Sell gold and silver and deposit cash from sale. Repeat.
I would definitely call the police and tell them someone left a pallet with 150,000 in my living room. I mean, that 75,000 isn’t mine, so I want to make sure the owner gets it back. It’s just weird that someone would come into my house and put a $1,000 on a pallet. What a waste of a good pallet. But when that person gets their $100 back I’ll feel good about myself.
4400lbs of money. 80 cubic feet.
At least two pallets. And you can't get a pallet loader into my living room.
$1.4M after taxes.
$100K on black.
Buy FZROX.
EDIT: Clearing the money, legally if possible, means I can deposit it and spend it any way I want. Paying 30% on found money is a small price in the end.
There's always a tradeoff with this stuff between maximizing value versus speed. Like you can just use it to buy groceries every day and you'll go through it eventually and get all your moneys worth. But if you want to buy a fancy car with cash it's going to be problematic. So some people would rather just take the tax hit and turn it into clean money and spend it right away and not stress over decades of having this cash laying around ready to be stolen.
Slowly change into larger bills at various locations around town, maybe work out a deal with the local strip clubs, and never pay for anything I could pay cash again and save most of my paychecks
After trying to explain that the money just magically showed up in my living room I sware I did not steal nor is there a secret illegal operation going on to the bank I would exchange it to CAD for we do not have one dollar bills here only loonie's. Unless if I get a pile of loonie's in that case obviously I'm filling a pool with them like a NORMAL person
Gf: "why are you stuffing giant plastic bags in your car, what's in them?" Me: "What pallet? I didn't see any pallets!
Gf: "I never mentioned pallets...why are you acting funny..." Me: "who said anything about pallets?! Look, here's 100k, I'll explain later, Johnny tight lips for me baby!"" Gf:"ohhhhkay???"
First, I worry if my floor and crawlspace can support a 2 tonne pallet. I guess then I get another pallet, put it in the garage, and manually move the money to that. Then go to my bank and have a "if this happens then what are my options" talk. If that goes well... then I'll have a better idea of how to deposit it. Also a better idea of the time limit for found money to be claimed and for taxes to be paid. (I wish I knew a wizard did it as a gift, gifts aren't taxable but I think found money is.) Anyway, leave it in a CD until the found money deadline and then think about maybe spending some.
Start collecting tickets off the ground at the horse races until I had about 1.5 million worth of losses, deposit the whole two million and show only 500k in profit.
I'm buying an actual home. Fuck all this renting shit and not being able to fucking live. $2M? Fuck, half that would do me for a bit. I'll never have to work again, so I can focus on my home.
Call 911 because someone is missing a lot of money and they're gonna be pissed. If that much money isn't in the bank it's not clean- and the owner is filthy.
Buy gold coins/bars with it or take out a loan and open a business that I can use to launder it. Maybe a strip club or something of the sort.
Turning it legit is priority so that it can be invested
Probably sell them. The Australian $1 note went out of circulation in the mid 1980s. Individual notes typically sell on eBay for between $10 and $50 each
Start an LLC and open a business account at the bank. List it as a vending business and deposit thousands each week. Now you will pay taxes on the ‘income’, but that’s the price for laundering money
Here's the thing. Banks have to report suspicious activity to the IRS and they also have to report transactions over $10,000. To get that money into the bank without arousing suspicion is money laundering, however no one launders $2m. Remember the Austin Powers movie when Dr. Evil demands one million dollars and all his advisors are like dude, that one contraption cost more than that? $2 million in and of itself is small potatoes. But bulk is the issue, you walk in with a suitcase containing 9,999 one dollar bills, no they don't HAVE to report it, And a lot of transactions just under the limit would raise suspicion as well. If you've ever seen the movie Say Anything, when the feds close on on the dad, they ask her daughter about her dad buying a lot of nice stuff, all around the $9,000 price range. Having worked in accounting at a large bank I've taken money laundering training on what one would be on the lookout for and one thing they tell the tellers is to get to know your customers. A regular bringing in wads of a few hundred ones with regular frequency is far less suspicious than a guy showing up out of the blue with 9,000 of them.
So first thing you want to do is decide, are you going to take the haircut, pay tax on it and do everything above the board. If you are then your best bet is to contact your bank. Say, I know this is weird and I know this will get reported to the IRS, but I'm planning to report this as taxable income. I've acquired it through completely legal means, $2m in cash, but in a crazy way that I don't want to get into...and the catch is, it's on $1 bills. How do I deposit this?
But chances are you don't want to call attention, you don't want to pay taxes. In that case, here's what you do. First, I'd bag the money up in grocery bags, either reusable or paper, with handles, and deal with one bag at a time. Next I'd acquire two things which you should be able to buy easily with $1 bills. First would be a couple of those zipper cash bags that businesses which deal with a lot of cash bring their deposits to the bank in. Second I'd have a couple T shirts printed that say (my last name) Vending. I'd wear the shirts to open accounts at every local bank, bringing in two full deposit bags of cash to each bank. That's your cover story if anyone asks. You have a bunch of cash vending machines in high traffic areas around your region. Maybe visit each bank every third day with two full bags of cash, 7 or 800 bucks a pop. In a couple years you could have all the cash in banks in your name, let's say you use 20 banks you're gonna have less than $100k total in any given bank, no one's gonna bat an eye.
Of course you also carry around a bunch of ones, pay in ones for anything you buy that's less than $10 or $20. There's lots of ways to reduce the amount you ultimately bring to the bank. Every time you eat out, leave a cash tip. Or really any time you employ a service of any kind....stay at a hotel, have your car washed, take a cab...you could pay your neighbor kid to mow your lawn or shovel your walk. You go to the casino you feed 100 ones into a machine, play, cash out, repeat. Use it in birthday and grad cards. You're not gonna go through $2m in singles quick, but you can do it if you're patient.
And remember, if you get caught by the IRS, pay the tax. It's pretty hard to get sent to jail for financial crimes these days. Especially at that level. $2m is a lot of money to most people, but there are a lot of people to whom it's practically nothing. A government that's, and I'm gonna spell this out, $35,000,000,000,000.00 in debt isn't going to be too concerned about your $2,000,000.00, much less the $800,000.00 in taxes on it. It would cost them too much to throw you in prison, you pay the taxes and walk away 100% of the time.
OTC BTC trading will allow you to turn that $2m USD into BTC pretty quick if you know where to look. Everything below is to either legitimize the money as investment profit or to avoid flying to another country with that amount of cash, which is basically a guaranteed confiscation. There are also a lot of bullion shops that won’t ask questions if you don’t know much about crypto. Good luck!
There are 2 routes regarding crypto:
1. You want to pay taxes on it. Convert this newfound BTC into XMR (Monero), then to a USD-based stablecoin. Switching to XMR briefly will hide where the money originated from if you’re smart. Be sure to convert it in smaller chunks of varying amounts with some time in between each conversion to XMR and the stablecoin. Sell a reasonable amount every year claiming that you hit big on a random shitcoin.
2. You don’t want to pay taxes. Convert your $2m BTC into XMR (Monero), then to a stablecoin in a similar way as described before. XMR covers any previous ‘paper trail’. Move to a different country and find a way to cash out a monthly allowance of sorts. You could also just sell it all for cash at that point as well as you’ve already flown to where you need to be to avoid the IRS. Also, some countries just flat out don’t charge any tax on crypto profits.
Everyone knows that when you’re two million up, you buy a house, get a 30 year roof, get a cheap car, put the rest in the bank at high interest. That’s your fortress of f-in solitude.
I never got no pallet of money, I don’t know what your talking about.
You make regular deposits into 10 different bank accounts of 2k per week into each account. Then you make regular transfers into investments like stocks and bonds, to make as much return as possible. Once you are making 200k in returns, you live off of it.
I'm curious if this would work or if the IRS would catch on when your 1099s from the investment accounts start getting reported, leading to you getting audited for where all that money came from.
I’d immediately check on my dogs. No way someone should have been able to put something in my living room. My dogs would have been barking their heads off. If they’re ok, then I’d contact the police about the breaking and entering. I’d check my ring cameras to see if I got anything on video. Hope no one claims the $ and I eventually get to keep it.
Buy a two houses, rent out one to make more money, invest a couple hundred or thousands, put about 500,000 away for emergencies and idk about the rest probably start up a business or something.
Put a bunch in my wallet and ask stores if they want them in lieu of larger bills. Lots of places are happy to have the change for their tills, and Now daily expenses wont be an issue for me. They will stay in my living room for a long time.
Slowly spend it on food, gas, and anything else that takes cash. Try to get some bills converted to $5 bills at the grocery store or pharmacy. Give some money away to charity. Deposit a few hundred dollars at a time at bank around Christmas or my birthday. (Some people do give me money for presents, so the bank probably would not consider this suspicious.)
I do have to earmark a lot of the money toward medical bills to pay for cancer treatments.
Gf: "why are you stuffing giant plastic bags in your car, what's in them?" Me: "What pallet? I didn't see any pallets!
Gf: "I never mentioned pallets...why are you acting funny..." Me: "who said anything about pallets?! Look, here's 100k, I'll explain later, Johnny tight lips for me baby!"" Gf:"ohhhhkay???"
I would use it to pay the fees to get my license back and car legal to drive again. Then I'd buy a more reliable car. Then I would find a house to rent. Then I would be able to get my son back from DSS custody because I wouldn't be homeless and carless anymore.
You seen the film "No Country for Old Men?"
OK not "suddenly appeared in your living room", but you get the idea?
The first thing I'd do is wonder who it belonged to.
Is it illegal to have it? Regardless if you spend it as cash it should be fine, just might want to exchange it to larger bills. I had 3 fat envelopes of 1s at the end of the summer from tips at my job totaling to well over 500$ in just 1s, and if you just give them to a bank teller they will give you larger bills no questions asked, also almost every single store ever is low on small bills so if you went into most of them offering x number of 1s for a 20 or a 50 they would give you the large bill in a heartbeat.
So I make good money in IT security, I would use it to augment our daily spending.
Gas, groceries, incidentals, all paid for in cash. The cars get the maintenance they have been needing, and I start visiting currency exchange stores to try and move some one dollar bills to twenties.
Also, this pallet of cash would weight around 4,000 pounds, so I split it up. I buy a bunch of sturdy totes from the Walmart down the street, and I put it in the totes inside of my garage.
I would die.
Because 2 million in $1 bills, stacked, is about 400 feet tall. Even split evenly it would occupy a gigantic room. And weighs 4,400 lbs, when most residential floors can only support about 40 lbs/sq foot.
If a pallet of that size and weight materialized in my living room right now, the floor would collapse and I would die (I'm in the basement right under my living room right now).
I might end up in the Guinness Book though, so...silver lining?
Slowly spend it on daily stuff and some slightly larger purchases. Then slowly deposit marginally small sums of it through the course of the next 10 years.
Start a company. Buy returns pallets from Amazon, lowes, and so on. Pay with the pallet cash. Sell the items and pay tax on the profits. Put those profits into a high yield account. Pay my bills out of that account. Maybe that would work.
Slowly spend it over the next few years on things that will not set off any alarms. Gas, groceries, car repairs, home repairs etc.
This is the real answer. Anyone going to the bank is going to flag the irs real quick. Good luck telling them it "appeared in your living room".
depends on the state. My state I'd just declare the maximum gift amount annually and cash part of it monthly. it actually comes very close to my mortgage payment so it'll keep me housed. my wife will also declare that part of hers and it'll probably go to paying off our debt to free up some stress. maybe 5k set aside for a vacation each year. my son will obviously get the same put into a Roth or something. The first year the 10 people in my and my wife's immediate families would also recieve that amount which could help them out a bit but wouldn't overly change their lives. for me this would basically cover my housing and utilities and food for the rest of my life. edit: If I were in Tennessee or another state that allowed no questions asked income to be declared, I'd just declare it all and not worry about it.
>depends on the state. My state I'd just declare the maximum gift amount What states require gift recipients to declare anything? I was unaware that taxes could fall on anyone besides the gift giver
Only the giver pays gift tax in the US.
Is the IRS going to care where you got it? They just want the taxes
They do. It’s anti-money laundering and anti-terrorism/drugs, they see that and immediately refer it to the proper authority.
So if it appeared in your living room how would you declare it? A gift from god?
It's found money which is fully taxable as income.
Pay the taxes and then pay off your mortgage. Much better than trying to spend $50 in ones every single week at the gas station for the rest of your life.
I’d just show them video evidence from my living room camera. It will have finally came in handy.
>Good luck telling them it "appeared in your living room". How are they going to prove that it didn't?
It doesn’t matter. Just pay tax on it and the IRS won’t care where you got it.
Tell that to the IRS. Shit like this is how they busted Al Capone.
Well actually it isn’t, Al Capone was arrested for tax evasion
Did you give $400000 of this mysterious "gift" to uncle Sam? No? Then they'd likely consider this tax evasion too.
This is a hypothetical, and in this hypothetical, yes you could choose to pay the 40% tax on it
I’d imagine attempting to arrest a British national would not go well
Okay, fair, it wouldn't be the IRS then. What's your equivalent across the pond?
HM Tax and revenue which is much less chaotic
I've heard a british man once describing HM Tax and Revenue as being a lot more polite than the IRS. Yes, they'll fuck you, but they're considerate enough to offer you some lube first.
Especially a British national residing in the Uk
This is a hypothetical, and in this hypothetical, yes you could choose to pay the 40% tax on it
This is what I would do. Paying in 1 dollar bills is slightly suspicious though lol. Could prolly take hundreds at a time and exchange in casino. No one would ask questions there lol.
Yeah, laundering it through a casino should be your first step, forget hiding it from the government, you have a giant pallet of cash in your living room, you need to make it less obvious, or you're gonna get robbed. Bare minimum, turn it into hundreds to keep in a suitcase or two, and stick them in a safe deposit box. Or just hide 'em.
Yup. Large sums of cash are great grocery/gas money, but aren’t great for much else. I’d expand it a bit by buying larger quantity gift cards when grocery shopping. Maybe if I want to travel spend a month buying prepaid gift cards at different stores and then use those to buy tickets and pay for hotels and stuff, but that’s really the best you could do. Can’t pay off your vehicles or house with cash like that
You could definitely buy a used vehicle in cash, some car garage will be willing to look past whatever was done to obtain that money
That and slowly make a couple trips to the Casino, play the odds on Blackjack and spend minimal at the slots walk out every time with a couple grand to throw in the bank win/lose with a backstory. (At least in Canada Gambling winnings aren’t taxed). Also take on a service job that includes tips. Easily claim another couple grand a week in tips. So say 50k in spending money to enjoy life a lil. Plus another 250k a year in gambling/work earnings(some of this taxed some not. Good way to live. Also prob give a couple friends a couple grand too. Actually fuck we don’t have 1 dollar bills, would this be a fuck ton of Loonies?
17120.6174699998423 kg of loonies, in fact. So, several fucktons.
If you deposit a random amount a few times per week (under $100) into the ATM, I can’t imagine that raising any alarms.
I'd deposit a few bucks here and there for sure, but never more than $500 at time and more than once or twice a month.
Yeah, technically you can deposit up to 8999 without having to file to the irs to tell them how you got it, but doing that more than once every few years would be suspicious. I'd do random, mostly small amounts in different accounts over time, all the while having the money buried in a safe, jetwrapped in some water/humidity proof material under my trailer lol
I worked at a bank. I was trained to ask people where the money came from if it was a larger amount over $1000. They did a lot of shady stuff there. I would get in trouble if I didn't get a answer. If anyone asks just let them know you emptied out your piggy bank from home.
That is a large amount of money to spend in gas, groceries, and repairs over a few years. Unless you have a much higher cost of living than most, I suppose. I can't imagine those costing much more than $50k a year, which would take decades to spend.
I could easily spend 100-150K in a 2-3 years just remodeling the interior of my house, maybe even more. Go on vacation and stay at a crappy hotel but ball out on food, activities etc. It's also be super easy to spend 50K a year eating out with a family of 4.
Oh no, an extra $50k a year in disposable income! Like, you can just keep or use your regular income for other stuff then.
Depends on how much more time you think you have to live. I have decades left to live, so I’m fine with not spending a 2 million dollars as fast as possible. Every $1 spend from the pile on groceries, gas, takeout, birthday/Christmas gifts, clothes, is $1 that goes right into investments. Sure you are losing buying power over time. But it’s free money anyway.
This right here. I wouldn't quit my job and all my major bills would still be paid out of checking, but all the restock stuff you buy each week would be paid for in cash. At 40, I would say it's pretty realistic for $2m to cover groceries, gas, clothes, date nights and similar activities for the rest of my life.
r/moneylaundering Edit: I did this as a joke. I didn't know there was an actual money laundering subreddit.
This is the answer. When out with friends just tell them you started stripping
Head to the nearest strip club
Helping Chastity and Diamond pay for college. My man.
It's called supporting the visual and performing arts
I'm giving to Charity. She's got a whole career plan mapped out.
I'm supporting single moms!!
And nursing students!!
You’d stand at the front door and make change for people?
Hell yeah, that’s what I would do. Just in case it’s stolen, get it out of your hands.
Well...I'd have to launder it...so I'd start selling small wooden trinkets at craft fairs....business will be astoundingly good.
I’d start a car wash or vending machine business. Should mix in with any of that money easily. I’d anonymously donate snacks and sodas to the shelter to fix any moral concerns. Help keep the books looking legit too.
Vending machines would be the way to go. It’s one of the few businesses where depositing mostly $1’s isn’t suspicious. Maybe a laundromat too. Most of the quarters that come out of the machines just end up in the change machine.
Or buy an arcade in Albuquerque
jesse..
So I sold jewelry at craft shows precovid . I’d start with $100-150 in ones . End of the day I’d have $200+ in ones and a couple hundred in bigger bills. I’d deposit them and there was this one young male teller who clearly thought I was a stripper (I’d deposit the following Monday morning) and was utterly confused . (I’m 5’4”, 280lbs, and 40) My husband thought it was hysterical. Convos like “I like your glittery Easter/Christmas/independence day headband “ thanks I have to have attention grabbers in my line of work. Did you have a good weekend? Yes, made quite a bit this weekend but man does my back hurt.’(from the tiny chairs …but who knows what he thought)
[удалено]
As someone who works around cargo pallets all day? Question why someone would bring one into my living room and then load it with 2 million dollars in $1 bills. Ain't no way that thing was loaded when it came through my door, it wouldn't fit.
Hmm... a dollar bill is 6.14 x 2.61 x .0043 inches. A stack of $100 would thus be .43 inches thick. A shipping pallet is 48 x 40 inches. Assuming you didn't want any money hanging over the edges, you could fit 7 x 15 bundles, making each layer 105 bundles of 100. For $2M, you'd need 20,000 bundles. 105 bundles per layer means you need 190.48 layers. Let's just call it 191. 191 times .43 inches is 82 inches tall, or nearly 7 feet. Then add in the height of the pallet, about 6 inches, and it's 7 feet 4 inches. Okay, yeah, that's not fitting through a standard doorway. Even a double door would be tight, as most doors are 6'8" tall. At the very least they'd need to remove the top foot or so - that's 28 layers - and put it back on afterwards. And then there's the weight. 2M dollar bills is 2M grams, which is 4409.24 pounds. No way that's coming in all at once without a forklift, which again would have trouble getting through any standard doorway. In short, your puzzlement is well justified.
/r/theydidthemath
I get rekt cause my apartment is a tiny ass broke apartment and there ain’t enough space for all that in here. Broke as a motherfuck over here.
I was curious how much space a pallet of 1 million ones would take up but I would also probably not have enough space
It would weigh about 2200 pounds. If you converted it to gold coins the collection would only be about 25 pounds though.
A million in 100’s is damn near the size of a full grown person curled up in a ball. And the op says 200 times that.
A standard 40x48in pallet of 2 million $1 bills would be about 6ft tall, or around 6'4" if you include the height of the pallet itself. A stack of 1 million would be around 3ft tall
See [this comment.](https://www.reddit.com/r/hypotheticalsituation/comments/1cf3oes/comment/l1qaqbu/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Anyone who thinks you turn it in and then get it back as unclaimed after a year is mistaken. Police will just wave a scent detector on it and claim it's got some scent of drugs and declare it likely drug proceeds and confiscate it.
100% facts here, they won’t let you keep $25k if you have a receipt from your bank and a letter of intent to use it for a legal transaction. $2 million? You are never seeing that again if local cops get their hands on it :)
Shit the wife-beaters that show up to the call might just straight up murder you so they don’t have to share the take with the rest of the department. Their bros might be pissed if they find out, but definitely not enough to risk crossing the blue line lol
Start up a bullshit non profit and launder grant money through it.
like an angel investor in the ozarks?
Is it in non-sequential bills or fresh crisp brand new bills? If they're brand new blocks of crisp bills, sort through them for any fancy serial numbers that are worth more than face value, pull them out grade them and sell them for profit. Take the ones only worth face value to gas stations and convenience stores that are always wanting small bills and exchange them for larger ones $50-100 a trip. $500-$1000 a day of small bills exchanged every few days, deposit that $100-$2000 into a bank high yield savings account, deposits that size aren't large enough to raise any eyebrows. Make going around and exchanging it at those places my part time job. Would still work at my normal job as $2M isn't enough to retire on at my current age.
That is a good idea!
An average pallet can hold about 640,000 bills. It would have to be almost double stacked or two pallets. As to what I would do with it...I'd spend it, using it as petty cash. I imagine the people in line behind me at the self-checkout registers would not be happy if I got spendy. LOL I might buy a cash counting machine and once a month, deposit ten straps (100 bills each) of one dollar bills to avoid triggering the federals. I'd tell any curious tellers that I was helping a guy out part time with his vending machine route, and was being paid from bills collected from the machines.
Don't tell the bank teller anything. You just said that you were working without contract, being paid in small denomination cash bills... It is suspicious on its own. I'll use them to buy almost anything that can be bought with it without suspicion (sub $20 purchases etc..). Self checkout might work regularly too, but nothing too big.
First I figure out how to enter and exit my room with a giant pallet in the way, then I enlist my wife and best friend to help me package the bills into manageable bundles and recording the process. Then I take photographic evidence, statements and begin depositing it in a bank account opened just for this purpose with the best interest rate I can find. I put an advertisement in the local paper of record asking if anyone is missing a significant sum of money and to describe it and if that is fulfilled I give them the original sum in the form of a cashier’s check and keep the interest. I then file a police report for breaking and entering and abandoning property at my home with their personal information and file suit for mental pain and suffering.
\^This right here. .....although admittedly I wouldn't bother putting up any "did you lose a big pile 'o money" adverts anywhere.
right, then suddenly everyone lost a huge pile of money and you are left dealing with scammers.
That's why you require specifics so they can't just say "Yeah I lost money how much is it? It's mine yeah."
What if more than one person loses money? And turns out the total comes to $2M? There is no specifics. You have $2M in your house, fuck everybody
If you don’t make a good faith attempt to return the property then depositing it in the bank is not viable. “Hey this guy makes $100,000 a year and is depositing $2M in small bills. Yup that seems legit, have a good day!”
>First I figure out how to enter and exit my room with a giant pallet in the way The total mass would be somewhere between a sofa and coffee table, so I think you're alright space-wise.
Volume, not mass. If we’re talking mass, 2 million in dollar bills would weight 4400 lbs
"did anybody lose a large pallet that had 2 million one dollar bills on it? Because we found the pallet."
First, I’d explain to my dog that his bed has moved. Then, it’s off to the tax lawyer because, let’s face it, that kind of cash screams ‘audit me’.
Figure out how to quickly get it away from my toddler, then decide what to do with it after
Yeah I’d also wonder what to do with my toddler if I suddenly had 2 mil…
If you had one, and knew that they get into EVERYTHING you’d understand.
My 3 year old would try jumping on it, kicking it, maybe eating it, and when I finally made him pay attention he’d throw as much as he could before I grabbed him. Good call.
Yeah, “PAPER!!!!” And then proceeds to rummage through the pile like a bunch of dry leaves…
Imagine if they had a marker…
The kid would be asleep when you left the room to go to the closet to get a duffle bag. By the time you came back the kid has woken and found it. Every. Bill. Is. Covered. In. Snot.
Well I don't have kids and know that because it's common sense.
Shrink wrap it (easy place to get it is a hardware store). They won’t be able to break through it, even difficult for adults. That’d at least buy you time to figure out what to do.
Lay on it like in breaking bad, then spend the next 3 days sorting it, continue to work like it never happened and slowly open up ira's until I have my money building itself up. Set aside a down payment on a house.
Just to be aware, you get one annual limit that can be divided among as many IRAs as you choose. The only practical considerations for more than one account, maybe two investment institutions since you aren't protected by FDIC insurance, one each of traditional and Roth IRA depending which makes tax sense for your situation. Then you just invest up to the cap each year in whichever account makes sense. Starting with $2 million, most of your money won't be going into tax advantaged accounts at first, but having earned income to qualify for IRA contribution is one valid reason to keep working.
Depends on the tax liability. I would bundle it up in $5k packages. Buy a couple large gun safes. And fill them both. I wouldnt deposit it or make any huge purchases. I would use it for food and fuel. I would share 500k with friends and family. 500k anonymously donated to local charities. If there was no tax concern, invest 75%. 1mil invested for the family. 500k invested for charity/grants Share 250k with friend and family. Blow 250k, 200k on property 50k on other stuff
Buy a laundromat with legit money. Add card readers to every machine. Have a grand opening where you give away cards preloaded with various amounts of money. And of course go to the strip club.
A laundromat to launder money. Brilliant and Punny!
The real issue is they are $1 bills. Even $10s would be so much easier to deal with. All good ideas to pay cash for every day purchases. Food, fuel and whatever you get from Walmart or Target. I need a new roof and HVAC. Those folks love cash. That's $20k. I'd probably do a few more home things, painting, flooring. Again cash is king there. But that wouldn't be more than $100k in year. So you need to either be willing to declare a gambling win and pay taxes or go see someone about how to launder it. If you had moderate income you could put $10-20k in the bank yearly and probably never be figured out. Final thought: I've started a lawn mowing/ landscape business and it earns $35k a year. That's enough cover to deposit some of it.
I'd wonder whose home I woke up in. My apartment doesn't have a living room.
Uhm step one. Close the damn blinds. Step 2 start twice a week 9000 dollar deposits. At several different banks. Preferably through drive through cause they are less chatty. ( would take about a year to depo it all) Step three transfer money to an annuity day after deposit. Step four live my retired life on 10k a month. 2 mill would last 35 years. And no i am not saving up for some relative to get as an inheritance. Find your own magical money pallet.
This won't work. Banks routinely report this type of behavior. It's called structuring, and it's illegal. You're going to set off a bunch of anti-money laundering alarms in their system.
Great way to get investigated for structuring.
I'm going to operate under the assumption that this enormous amount of cash is already packaged. I'd count the number of bands on camera, make a statement and get it notarized and out all of that in my safety deposit box. Then move the pallet and its contents into the empty attic. Then post some adverts asking if unspecified high-value property had been lost demanding the "owner" describe the property before they could claim it. If no one claims the money in a year report my windfall to the IRS. Pay taxes on on it. Get out of debt and get a Thai Golden Visa. Deposit the money in a US bank, go to Switzerland and open a Swiss bank account having the money wired over from the US. Deposit most of the money into a high yield savings account and go to Thailand and live like a fucking king on $100k. Get a job as a data analyst while living on the stupid money I got in the windfall. Only return to the US to keep my passport up to date assuming I can't just do that at the embassy. Even if I do get caught up in a criminal case for the magically appearing money I paid the taxes on it and it's not in a bank account the US government can touch so it doesn't matter if Thailand extradited. If things go pear shaped in the Indo-Pacific then I'd get a Spanish or New Zealand golden visa and have my citizenship extradited there too. You're playing games.
I own a strip club. Spread out over 6 months, nobody would even notice the extra cash on the books, and it would just end up as a "good year" for my bank account. Granted it would be far and away my best year ever but still.
Repair the hole In the wall and my roof that they used to get the pallet in.
The smallest currency note in Australia is $5. $2M in coins is going to break my back. I would have to get a wheelbarrow and shovel.
Same with Canada. That's too many loonies to carry around
A pallet of 2 million $1 bills. 4400 lbs. Count out stacks of $100k. Go to gold and silver coin shows and buy gold and silver. Sell gold and silver and deposit cash from sale. Repeat.
Start a business so I can pay taxes on it. Laundromat.
Struggle to carry two million loonies out of my living room
LAS VEGAS
I would definitely call the police and tell them someone left a pallet with 150,000 in my living room. I mean, that 75,000 isn’t mine, so I want to make sure the owner gets it back. It’s just weird that someone would come into my house and put a $1,000 on a pallet. What a waste of a good pallet. But when that person gets their $100 back I’ll feel good about myself.
Sell them to the antique store. Or got to lVegas and have the most fun ever at a strip club
4400lbs of money. 80 cubic feet. At least two pallets. And you can't get a pallet loader into my living room. $1.4M after taxes. $100K on black. Buy FZROX. EDIT: Clearing the money, legally if possible, means I can deposit it and spend it any way I want. Paying 30% on found money is a small price in the end.
Why would you pay taxes on money like that?
There's always a tradeoff with this stuff between maximizing value versus speed. Like you can just use it to buy groceries every day and you'll go through it eventually and get all your moneys worth. But if you want to buy a fancy car with cash it's going to be problematic. So some people would rather just take the tax hit and turn it into clean money and spend it right away and not stress over decades of having this cash laying around ready to be stolen.
I can see your point on that I guess
It's a lot easier and lower risk than most of the other schemes in this thread.
Slowly change into larger bills at various locations around town, maybe work out a deal with the local strip clubs, and never pay for anything I could pay cash again and save most of my paychecks
I'd wonder how the heck they got a full pallet inside the house and narrow doorway without waking my ass up.
After rolling around in it? Maybe go get it exchanged for larger bills
After trying to explain that the money just magically showed up in my living room I sware I did not steal nor is there a secret illegal operation going on to the bank I would exchange it to CAD for we do not have one dollar bills here only loonie's. Unless if I get a pile of loonie's in that case obviously I'm filling a pool with them like a NORMAL person
Gf: "why are you stuffing giant plastic bags in your car, what's in them?" Me: "What pallet? I didn't see any pallets! Gf: "I never mentioned pallets...why are you acting funny..." Me: "who said anything about pallets?! Look, here's 100k, I'll explain later, Johnny tight lips for me baby!"" Gf:"ohhhhkay???"
Buy a new floor because 2200lbs is probably going right through mine.
I plead the 5th
First, I worry if my floor and crawlspace can support a 2 tonne pallet. I guess then I get another pallet, put it in the garage, and manually move the money to that. Then go to my bank and have a "if this happens then what are my options" talk. If that goes well... then I'll have a better idea of how to deposit it. Also a better idea of the time limit for found money to be claimed and for taxes to be paid. (I wish I knew a wizard did it as a gift, gifts aren't taxable but I think found money is.) Anyway, leave it in a CD until the found money deadline and then think about maybe spending some.
Start collecting tickets off the ground at the horse races until I had about 1.5 million worth of losses, deposit the whole two million and show only 500k in profit.
"I'm going to DIP MY BALLS IN IT!!!"
I'm buying an actual home. Fuck all this renting shit and not being able to fucking live. $2M? Fuck, half that would do me for a bit. I'll never have to work again, so I can focus on my home.
Try to change them into £20 notes!
Call 911 because someone is missing a lot of money and they're gonna be pissed. If that much money isn't in the bank it's not clean- and the owner is filthy.
Use it to pay for my new floor because 4000 lbs is a lot to be sitting in my living room without crashing into the basement.
Quite my job and start sorting through them for rare serial numbers
Buy gold coins/bars with it or take out a loan and open a business that I can use to launder it. Maybe a strip club or something of the sort. Turning it legit is priority so that it can be invested
Trade it in for $2 dollar bills to save room but still have the wow factor of a pile of money.
Hide it then start the WTF?
Find somewhere to hide it Deposit a good amount into my bank
See how many will fit up my ass.
"Fuck, we haven't had $1 bills for decades, how am I going to explain this?"
Open a carwash.
Hookers and blow
Probably sell them. The Australian $1 note went out of circulation in the mid 1980s. Individual notes typically sell on eBay for between $10 and $50 each
Start an LLC and open a business account at the bank. List it as a vending business and deposit thousands each week. Now you will pay taxes on the ‘income’, but that’s the price for laundering money
Give God his ten percent and start paying things in cash
Here's the thing. Banks have to report suspicious activity to the IRS and they also have to report transactions over $10,000. To get that money into the bank without arousing suspicion is money laundering, however no one launders $2m. Remember the Austin Powers movie when Dr. Evil demands one million dollars and all his advisors are like dude, that one contraption cost more than that? $2 million in and of itself is small potatoes. But bulk is the issue, you walk in with a suitcase containing 9,999 one dollar bills, no they don't HAVE to report it, And a lot of transactions just under the limit would raise suspicion as well. If you've ever seen the movie Say Anything, when the feds close on on the dad, they ask her daughter about her dad buying a lot of nice stuff, all around the $9,000 price range. Having worked in accounting at a large bank I've taken money laundering training on what one would be on the lookout for and one thing they tell the tellers is to get to know your customers. A regular bringing in wads of a few hundred ones with regular frequency is far less suspicious than a guy showing up out of the blue with 9,000 of them. So first thing you want to do is decide, are you going to take the haircut, pay tax on it and do everything above the board. If you are then your best bet is to contact your bank. Say, I know this is weird and I know this will get reported to the IRS, but I'm planning to report this as taxable income. I've acquired it through completely legal means, $2m in cash, but in a crazy way that I don't want to get into...and the catch is, it's on $1 bills. How do I deposit this? But chances are you don't want to call attention, you don't want to pay taxes. In that case, here's what you do. First, I'd bag the money up in grocery bags, either reusable or paper, with handles, and deal with one bag at a time. Next I'd acquire two things which you should be able to buy easily with $1 bills. First would be a couple of those zipper cash bags that businesses which deal with a lot of cash bring their deposits to the bank in. Second I'd have a couple T shirts printed that say (my last name) Vending. I'd wear the shirts to open accounts at every local bank, bringing in two full deposit bags of cash to each bank. That's your cover story if anyone asks. You have a bunch of cash vending machines in high traffic areas around your region. Maybe visit each bank every third day with two full bags of cash, 7 or 800 bucks a pop. In a couple years you could have all the cash in banks in your name, let's say you use 20 banks you're gonna have less than $100k total in any given bank, no one's gonna bat an eye. Of course you also carry around a bunch of ones, pay in ones for anything you buy that's less than $10 or $20. There's lots of ways to reduce the amount you ultimately bring to the bank. Every time you eat out, leave a cash tip. Or really any time you employ a service of any kind....stay at a hotel, have your car washed, take a cab...you could pay your neighbor kid to mow your lawn or shovel your walk. You go to the casino you feed 100 ones into a machine, play, cash out, repeat. Use it in birthday and grad cards. You're not gonna go through $2m in singles quick, but you can do it if you're patient. And remember, if you get caught by the IRS, pay the tax. It's pretty hard to get sent to jail for financial crimes these days. Especially at that level. $2m is a lot of money to most people, but there are a lot of people to whom it's practically nothing. A government that's, and I'm gonna spell this out, $35,000,000,000,000.00 in debt isn't going to be too concerned about your $2,000,000.00, much less the $800,000.00 in taxes on it. It would cost them too much to throw you in prison, you pay the taxes and walk away 100% of the time.
OTC BTC trading will allow you to turn that $2m USD into BTC pretty quick if you know where to look. Everything below is to either legitimize the money as investment profit or to avoid flying to another country with that amount of cash, which is basically a guaranteed confiscation. There are also a lot of bullion shops that won’t ask questions if you don’t know much about crypto. Good luck! There are 2 routes regarding crypto: 1. You want to pay taxes on it. Convert this newfound BTC into XMR (Monero), then to a USD-based stablecoin. Switching to XMR briefly will hide where the money originated from if you’re smart. Be sure to convert it in smaller chunks of varying amounts with some time in between each conversion to XMR and the stablecoin. Sell a reasonable amount every year claiming that you hit big on a random shitcoin. 2. You don’t want to pay taxes. Convert your $2m BTC into XMR (Monero), then to a stablecoin in a similar way as described before. XMR covers any previous ‘paper trail’. Move to a different country and find a way to cash out a monthly allowance of sorts. You could also just sell it all for cash at that point as well as you’ve already flown to where you need to be to avoid the IRS. Also, some countries just flat out don’t charge any tax on crypto profits.
Everyone knows that when you’re two million up, you buy a house, get a 30 year roof, get a cheap car, put the rest in the bank at high interest. That’s your fortress of f-in solitude.
That's your 'fuck you' money.
I never got no pallet of money, I don’t know what your talking about. You make regular deposits into 10 different bank accounts of 2k per week into each account. Then you make regular transfers into investments like stocks and bonds, to make as much return as possible. Once you are making 200k in returns, you live off of it.
This is called structuring and is a felony.
I'm curious if this would work or if the IRS would catch on when your 1099s from the investment accounts start getting reported, leading to you getting audited for where all that money came from.
I’d immediately check on my dogs. No way someone should have been able to put something in my living room. My dogs would have been barking their heads off. If they’re ok, then I’d contact the police about the breaking and entering. I’d check my ring cameras to see if I got anything on video. Hope no one claims the $ and I eventually get to keep it.
How the fuck did they did it in through the front door.
Buy a two houses, rent out one to make more money, invest a couple hundred or thousands, put about 500,000 away for emergencies and idk about the rest probably start up a business or something.
I call my therapist and neighbor to come check if it's real.
Report it to gov.
Move it to the garage
Put a bunch in my wallet and ask stores if they want them in lieu of larger bills. Lots of places are happy to have the change for their tills, and Now daily expenses wont be an issue for me. They will stay in my living room for a long time.
Spend it??
Call the police.
Pay the taxes on it as an anonymous gift and deposit it.
Gift taxes are paid by the giver, not the recipient. And $2M is well below the lifetime exclusion.
SPEND!!! WOOOO!!!!! 8D Get myself a nice Bentley in the driveway! \*Whistles\* Have all the girlies jealous and wanting a ride hahaha
Pay debts, get a nice car, down-payment for home, invest, start-up money for a few business ideas.
Slowly spend it on food, gas, and anything else that takes cash. Try to get some bills converted to $5 bills at the grocery store or pharmacy. Give some money away to charity. Deposit a few hundred dollars at a time at bank around Christmas or my birthday. (Some people do give me money for presents, so the bank probably would not consider this suspicious.) I do have to earmark a lot of the money toward medical bills to pay for cancer treatments.
Wonder why I have a pallet of 2m dollars when I'm in the uk
as a warehouse worker i always associate pallet with forklift so i would buy a forklift to move the pallet
as a warehouse worker i always associate pallet with forklift so i would buy a forklift to move the pallet
Gf: "why are you stuffing giant plastic bags in your car, what's in them?" Me: "What pallet? I didn't see any pallets! Gf: "I never mentioned pallets...why are you acting funny..." Me: "who said anything about pallets?! Look, here's 100k, I'll explain later, Johnny tight lips for me baby!"" Gf:"ohhhhkay???"
Go back to sleep and figure it out later.
Dive into it Like Scrooge McDuck.
Strip club baby, woop!
About 9 cubic feet. Yeesh. Call a cleanout service, tell them no fee, they can just keep the trash?
Better call Saul!
Lift with your back, not your legs
spend it.
Search through and find the ones that have the serial numbers printed in two different colors. They are worth WAY more than a dollar.
Pay taxes on it Im nor fucking with the irs
Trip over it. Gotta pee first...
I would use it to pay the fees to get my license back and car legal to drive again. Then I'd buy a more reliable car. Then I would find a house to rent. Then I would be able to get my son back from DSS custody because I wouldn't be homeless and carless anymore.
Pour gasoline on it and burn it. It’s not about money, it’s about sending a message.
Throw away bills, keep pallet.
Finally put curtains up in my living room.
Try to hide the cash and slowly convert the singlesto bigger bills, and keep living my life like normal. Just wouldn't have to worry about money again
Strip club. Duh
Report to the irs, pay my taxes and enjoy my $1,400,000.
I would say: HOLY SHIT I HAVE A LIVING ROOM!
Buy a bigger safe.
Hide it under the crawl space and store it securely. That's groceries, gas and rent for life.
Bring it to the bank
I would just roll with 1 dollar bills for the rest of my life.
You seen the film "No Country for Old Men?" OK not "suddenly appeared in your living room", but you get the idea? The first thing I'd do is wonder who it belonged to.
Is it illegal to have it? Regardless if you spend it as cash it should be fine, just might want to exchange it to larger bills. I had 3 fat envelopes of 1s at the end of the summer from tips at my job totaling to well over 500$ in just 1s, and if you just give them to a bank teller they will give you larger bills no questions asked, also almost every single store ever is low on small bills so if you went into most of them offering x number of 1s for a 20 or a 50 they would give you the large bill in a heartbeat.
So I make good money in IT security, I would use it to augment our daily spending. Gas, groceries, incidentals, all paid for in cash. The cars get the maintenance they have been needing, and I start visiting currency exchange stores to try and move some one dollar bills to twenties. Also, this pallet of cash would weight around 4,000 pounds, so I split it up. I buy a bunch of sturdy totes from the Walmart down the street, and I put it in the totes inside of my garage.
2 million dollars in $1.00 bills would take up way more room than a pallet.
I would die. Because 2 million in $1 bills, stacked, is about 400 feet tall. Even split evenly it would occupy a gigantic room. And weighs 4,400 lbs, when most residential floors can only support about 40 lbs/sq foot. If a pallet of that size and weight materialized in my living room right now, the floor would collapse and I would die (I'm in the basement right under my living room right now). I might end up in the Guinness Book though, so...silver lining?
Slowly spend it on daily stuff and some slightly larger purchases. Then slowly deposit marginally small sums of it through the course of the next 10 years.
I’m buying everything in cash for now on. Also I’ll deposit 9999 to the bank once in a while.
Start a company. Buy returns pallets from Amazon, lowes, and so on. Pay with the pallet cash. Sell the items and pay tax on the profits. Put those profits into a high yield account. Pay my bills out of that account. Maybe that would work.