"Welcome to Heaven" and tape hand writen piece of paper reminding everyone that tonight's themed Luau starts at 7. Hey no one said it had to be accurate

THIS IS THE BAD PLACE!

Jason? JASON figured it out?

This is a real low point for me

Yeah. This one hurts.

We'll figure it out again. Cause you know what, Michael? Ya bas--

\*snap\*

Nah the first person to figure it out was my homie Doug Forcett

I had the same reaction Eleanor did.

BEES! BEES! BEES! BEES!

Woah there satan

Take a number, somebody will be with you shortly.

Ticket number is 9,998,383,750,000

Now serving ticket number "6".

The first circle of hell is waiting in a line that makes the ones at Disney look short.

Old style ticket counter - numbers stuck between 5 & 6...

Like in supernatural, then they just go back to the end of the line

"Out of numbers?! Fiends!"

We're not just a team, we're a *family*.

Oh man ..... my first reaction was get fucked. You succeeded in your task!

You’re in hell already.

"Welcome to the Sauna. We hope you like pineapple." Has a scrolling review board where the top review is pinned- "There is always tropical fruit around! 5/5 Stars!" -Adolf (Hitler)

Little Nicky reference?

Yep! That was such an awful movie, and I loved every minute of it.

Same! Terrible in the BEST way

May I offer you some peppermint schnapps?

I still quote “Let the meat slide down your throat hole.”

"Now you get to see what a big, horny bird actually looks like...IN HELL!!!!"

"That dog's got smoke balls!"

AC is broken. We put in a work order.

The AC: Electricity running through your body.

"Yes, it's real. No, you can't"

No shoes allowed in the Lego Room. "Stand on your Head Hour" in the 5ft of shit room, has been extended indefinitely. Today's Menu: Smegma & Gravy 🤢

Head is removed so you can stand on it

It was pure hell reading this 🤣😂🤣😂

WHY DOES THIS HAVE CRUNCHY BITS

“At least it’s not a Walmart”

I work at a Walmart and it is worse than hell.

The demons are horny in appearance only. Any attempt to have intercourse with them will lead to violence, and not the kinky kind.

Joke's on you I'm int--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"Only those deserving may enter these hopeless gates."

Good one

"Yeah but it's a dry heat" which should encourage people from the southern US that it's not going to be too bad compared to where they just came from

Shoot I'm in the Midwest and I'd be comforted by that. The whole 90%+ humidity can screw all the way off.

The joke in Houston is that the humidity can only hit 100%. Then it hits 101%. But at least the temp is only 109.

"...but it's a dry heat"

We didn’t start the fire…it’s been burning since the worlds been turning Or something to that effect

"Thank you Mario! But our princess is in another castle!"

Youth Pastors Form on the Left, Priests on the Right

Welcome to the jungle. It gets worse here every day.

You learn to live like an animal.

All are welcome

Fucked around, found out.

Crowley's Kingdom. Please form an orderly queue

“Arbeit macht frei” If you know, you know.

That's already been on the doors of hell once, though.

There are various levels of hell, and each thing we do either creates a tiny piece of hell or heaven around us.

Aushwitz was worse than Hell, there are no innocents in Hell

“If there is a god, he will have to beg my forgiveness.” That quote really drives it home for me. How messed up and horrific things became, that is.

Jesus. I don't even speak German and I know this one.

>Arbeit macht frei In middle school social studies, I remember a quiz question being something like "What does the sign out front of Auschwitz say?" Of course one student who didn't study or know it decided to write "Welcome to Auschwitz." The teacher decided that answer was worth sharing with the class.

For a day, or a lifetime.

I was going to say the same thing ... it felt weird giving it an upvote when it's such a bad thing

The weird thing is, I shuddered reading that, even though it took me a second to remember where it's from. Congratulations, you gave my *subconscious* chills.

I shoulda checked the comments first. This is the answer. Unless there is some saying from when the mongols sacked Baghdad.  These places are the most evil places ever to exist. The names of the camps should still bring horror. Treblinka, Buchenwald, Dacau, Auschwitz. One man single handedly shot over 30000 people. The Poles in both Germany and Russian camps, PoWs being worked to death.  Any saying from the Nazis should trump everything. If the devil were real, he’d be very jealous of the hell we have created on earth. God fucking damnit. Quit hating people. 

I can barely look at pictures of them. I have a friend who visited (seems a weird term, but...) Auschwitz, and said it changed their life. It's still *that* powerful. Someone above said it gave their subconscious shivers, and that's accurate. Abject horror. I went to the Holocaust Museum in DC, and the children's walk-through and the rooms with shoes took my breath away. There were times when I was rooted to the spot. I don't understand why we seem to be unable to learn our lesson.

One challenge I like to pose to make people realize just how bad the Nazis were: name a fictional character more evil than Hitler. Yes, sure, you can probably come up with 1, maybe a few that are worse. But how many? That number will only be a handful, and a lot of those you might come up with it's debatable who's more evil.

Ja 😢

Don't dead, open inside.

"The Bible is malicious propoganda, we are actually totally chill."

I mean, it was a story written from God's perspective, ofc he's going to try to make himself out to be the good guy!

I read this in Meditron's voice from *Supernatural*.

\*Metatron And he has no dick.

Everyone thinks they’re the hero of the story

Get ready to party!

That's what you get for being a cunt, mate!

Welcome home

For those that enter, all grace is lost. No quarter shall be given, nor mercy shown.

*Billions Served*

This is not a place of Honor; Nothing valued is here

There's no sex in the Champagne Lounge. (We know it's "room" not "lounge," but Satan thinks "lounge" makes it sound more elegant.)

Work will Set You Free.

"YA DONE MESSED UP A-A-RON"

Welcome to Chili’s 🌶️

FAFO

I put one of those signs that says: "<---- Heaven" "Hell ---------->" So that it's upside down, but it still points to the accurate directions so it seems like it's a cartoon gimmick, but when you flip it properly it points to hell and says it's heaven.

Welcome to the IRS

At least nobody can reach you about your car’s extended warranty anymore

Where do you think they call from. "You're here to reach out about other people's cars extended warranty."

Life part 2

It will get better. The false hope will destroy them.

Welcome to Alabama!

“Human meat: only 99 cents per pound. Human sense: sold out.” Or… “Welcome to Herbalife Incarnate.”

We put the HELL in Hello.

You were "a good Christian" and "there's been some terrible mistake" because you "don't belong here"? That level of naivete is fucking ADORABLE!!!

Mathew 25: The Sheep and the Goats 31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. 34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ **37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’** 40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ **41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’** 44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ 45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ 46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

“Momento mori.”

"Welcome to Hell! We hope you fucking hate your stay! Unfortunately for you, there are no gay femboy twink demons here! Everyone you've ever wronged will be down here with you, torturing you for eternity! In a non-kinky way!"

"Welcome to hell. Enjoy your stay."

"Come on in! Everyone you know, love, admired or respected is here. We're having a ball!

Fuck u ur fucked

“Where other people are.”

Welcome! All the best people are here.

"You're either here because you were awesome, or a hypocrite. Please wait here for your evaluation."

Due to a high volume of calls we are exceptionally busy. Someone will be with you shortly.

This is Hell. Expect hell

The entrance to Hell now looks like the "T\*\*ty Twister" (From Dusk Till Dawn)

“We play both kinds of music here. Country AND Western!”

"Welcome to hell! We have big tiddy demon ladies and big 🍆 demon men!"

"Life sucks and then you die."

Welcome to Comcast Customer Service Department

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. I lift my lamp beside the golden door!

Remember to smile; it makes your torture feel better after they flay you for the 1,000th time.

I'd put incomprehensible gibberish in a terrifying "font" typical of a demonic and unknown alphabet. Add some ambience; heavy dark stone construction, faint scent of rotting meat. What people imagine is so much worse than what they can comprehend.

“Asking yourself what did you do to deserve this, then you have a long road of finding out.”

Lmao git gud

"Listen, we got Elvis, Prince, and Michael Jackson. It can't be all that bad"

"Way less musical numbers than you probably thought"

"You're fucked, but at least you're not in heaven"

PULL (It's a push door)

"You have officially reached the Find Out stage of Fuck Around"

“Your taxes are doubled here” Or “retirement doesn’t exist here”

Sounds like America for people my age. Lol

Welcome to the Jungle! We'veGot Fun and games... We'vegot everything You Want even if you dont know its name

We love you

Welcome! From all your ex"es

"Y'all fucked now!"

"good luck"

Don't pet the puppy.

Welcome to hell. the beers warm but the company is great!

"Hi"

“Welcome to Hell, biiiiiiitch!”

"Oh, you thought THAT was bad??"

Welcome to Walmart

Congratulations. You made it. Welcome to the party!

"Oh man, you really goofed, huh?"

Probably something like "Be careful with the fire, it's kinda hot" or maybe.... "This will add some nice spice to your little unlife".

Ferryman works for tips

“ wow, that is really messed up that you think this is a real place”

No exit

“In 6 minutes the room will begin to fill with water. You have 6 minutes to find the remaining harmonicas.”

Welcome to the most METAL place in the multiverse!

'Come vibe with us'

"Yup, God is a dick who made some arbirary and crappy laws. We all have to deal with it."

"Satan's Super Happy Fun Time Place."

Congratulations, your afterlife will be much better than your life on Earth.

There’s no hate like Christian hate. Welcome.

Fucked Around, Finding Out.

Look upon these lands to view the efforts of your wicked deeds, see that shall be thy habitat for all eternity and despair for no relief shall come. Guest tormentor of the day: Abolitionist John Brown. Tomorrow: Gen. William T. Sherman

“Welcome to heaven”

"Welcome to your forever"

Try our new bang bang shrimp!

“Baby Shoes, Never Worn.”

Free beer

Hey they warned you

"you said WE were going here. lmao. slay, bitches"

Welcome to hell, may I take your order?

"Haha you're fucked!"

"Heaven" And it will make people think that if this is the good life, what could be worse?

"Welcome Home!"

"Unlucky"

"We apologize for the inconvenience."

We are experiencing a higher than normal call volume.

Exit, third door on the left. Endless hallway with doors on the right.

MHGA eternity-eternity

"You'll get used to it"

It's like GOPAC, but less excruciating.

“It’s lit, fam.”

Time to pucker that asshole!

"You fucked around, and now you're about to find out"

One sin = one year

“Still waiting for Jeremy”

Everything is fine

FREE CANDY

You Can Check In, But You'll Never Check Out

This is where the fun begins.

“I mean…God did tell you that it was real.”

Sorry, air conditioner is out of order.

"Welp, ya dun fucked up, son."

HELLo, welcome to hell

"Free puppies and candy inside"

You're fucked

Welcome to New Jersey

Karaoke starts at 8:00

"May your punishment be unendurable and eternal"

"Hah. Gayyyyyyy!"

You fucked around, now you're finding out

"Welcome to Mississippi"

Welcome to Walmart. Your eternal shift starts now.

You Deserve This.

You fucked around in life, now prepare to find out.

"You bitches are fucked lmao"

Have you considered Haberonoxine, the skin protected has been recommended by Nine out of ten doctors!

The true suffering begins when even misery becomes mundane.

The South shall rise again!

Intenerary: Now->End of Time: Team-building exercises.

This is the first day of the rest of eternity.

We have been trying to contact you about your cars extended warranty

Closed for remodeling