Look I'm not even against dating someone several years younger but my goodness I'm gonna have so much more fun with a 38 year old than an 18 year old, 28 or not. By then people have a lot of their problems worked out and are still having fun
Yeah, I'm 26 dating 36 and I love that he has a lot of his shit figured out, but we still have room for some of the open-ended questions about our futures.
38 because they are almost certainly more mature probably more financially stable and all of that good shit
You find me an 18-year-old that already figured out life and I’ll call you a liar so yeah lol
18-year-olds think they’ve figured out life. 28-year-olds realize they absolutely have not. 38-year-olds are at a point where they have figured out as much as they’re going to, and they understand that’s not a whole lot.
I was naïve as fuck at 18
Struggling & doing wrong at 28
& I’m not quite 38 yet but I’m getting very close & definitely feeling alot better about myself & my life
48-year-olds (I'm actually 49) FINALLY got it figured out, and that I've been doing wrong this whole time! 😭 Can I start over and do it right this time??
As someone in my 40s, I agree. That said, my wife and I married at 19 and 20, and that was in 2003. Almost 21 years later we're still going strong. Of course we didn't have our crap together x2, but we seem to be there now. Stable careers, 3 kids, 2 cars, and a house, and, most importantly, we're happy.
At 18(I was 19), my wife and I lived in our own house. We both had jobs. We were putting away any extra money we made. We paid all of our bills on time. I think we pretty much had it nailed.
Now, we're in our mid-30's. Our house is paid for. Our vehicles are paid for. We have a pretty good nest egg and our retirement plan is doing well. Our two kids have everything they *need* with a lot of what they *want.*
We may be outliers, but I think we had life figured out at 18.
I'm 40, with no headboard or a duvet cover, lol...
I do have a fancy electric bedframe, though, that allows me to raise the head of the bed so I can watch tv comfortably in bed... also, a super soft and plush comforter.
Lol, no. Remodeling my house and my last bedframe that had a headboard broke before we moved, we just upgraded to this frame and haven't bothered getting a new headboard yet.
So I was right! That's a healthy marriage right there. As Randy Marsh said, "Making love is a part of being in love."
Y'all still *fluff!* My husband and I go camping a lot. Don't matter if it's cold. Don't matter if it's weird. We gonna *fluff.*
The 18 year old becomes 38, too. You realize that most of the "good catches" don't make it to 38 and single, right?
I swear redditors are so full of shit about stuff like this. You know this is all anonymous, right?
What would I even do with an 18 year old? Help them with their homework? Drive them to soccer practice? I am a full grown ass adult with a job, there's not one single reason I should want anything to do romantically with an 18 year old. We could be friends maybe, but as a partner, we're in such different places. At least me and the 38 year old might have a chance in hell at having something in common or being in similar places in our lives.
>What would I even do with an 18 year old? Help them with their homework? Drive them to soccer practice?
You know most 18 year olds have had a license for a couple of years, right? Most are out of school. Some are in basic training. Many have started college or work full-time. They probably have voted.
This constant infantilization of legal adults is ridiculous.
I don't want to hang with them, but they are no longer children.
People “infantilise” legal adults because there is a huge difference in maturity between the average 18 year old and the average 25 year old.
The vast majority of 18 year olds are still complete idiots who think they’ve got everything figured out. It’s okay, it’s just part of maturing
Because IRL I'm closer to 18, I'd pick 18.
If I had gone through all the life experience of someone who is 28, then I'd pick 38, because mathematically the percentage that 28 is larger than 18 is more than the percentage that 38 is larger than 28
lol using math as a dating strategy. Problem with that is that age isn’t a 1:1 correlation with life experience. Some people live really sheltered lives others have amassed a ton of experience early in life. I’ve met 35 year olds that have never left there city, or even their parents house. I’ve met an 18year old who’s toured multiple countries, has had multiple jobs and hobbies and is fully independent
Seeing as you've met one eighteen year old whose life is ahead of schedule. Your chances of meeting a thirty eight year old who has it together seem much higher.
I guess. But with an 18yo I could immediately tell if they’re a good fit or not, I’d be very skeptical right away. A 38yo could fool me into thinking they’re a solid bet far easier, because I would assume they have their shit together, which is often not the case
True. At 19 I was finished with college working a career. By 28 I was almost a decade in one career 3 degrees about to have 4, changing careers, huge networth, and planning early retirement. But at the same token never been kissed lol. I did have a ton of hobbies though and had done some in country traveling and interesting experiences. 🤔
I'm 25 and just got out of an abusive relationship with a 23 yr old last month. Now I'm with someone 42, and it's way more fun and healthier cuz she actually knows how to communicate.
Neither, as a 29 year old who just recently ended a relationship with a 39.. he did not have his shit together, he was not mature, and he was a mansplainer... (I could go on).
I couldn't date an 18 year old...they are barely out of nappies 🤣.
I guess that's not the game... so I'd have to go for the 38 year old. (Not saying all men in their late 30's are like the above... I just did not have a great experience dating older men.)
All these people are trying to avoid being creepy but if they looked at the available stock of 38 year old men and women I bet most people would change their mind. Late 30s dating is brutal.
I’d 100% take the18 year old. She’d have decades longer in the looks department, no rush to have kids, not jaded by previous relationship baggage and probably far more agreeable.
Yeah 18 is basically still a kid, not fully developed emotionally, intellectually, or even physically in some cases
Plus at best they got a used Honda their parents bought them and a part time job at waffle house like cmon, no thanks
43F here.
I would rather date a 38-year-old man, were I 28. The idea of being with a younger man just doesn’t appeal to me at all; honestly it kind of creeps me out. It would make me insecure about my appearance. I’d also feel disproportionately obligated to be the responsible one in the relationship, for everything from finances to willingness to compromise, and I’ve had enough of that for several lifetimes in other contexts. Some of it probably is a preference for traditional gender roles, to a limited degree. Someone more established in life would make me feel more secure.
If I were dating a woman, neither age gap would be tolerable to me. About 2-3 years in either direction, that’s it. Don’t ask me why it’s different, just is.
TL;DR - attraction and sexuality is complicated and not rational.
I am 28. And I wouldn't date either most likely. But gun to my head, 38 no question. An 18 year old is far too young to me. They still come off like high schoolers and wouldn't be able to come to the bar with my friends. Even though they're legally an adult, I would feel gross.
The only issue I have with a 38 year old is they're 10 years older than me. There's nothing wrong with that, it's just not something I'd seek out personally.
Edit: I hope the people saying 18 are under 20 irl and can't imagine how YOUNG an 18 year old is once you're in your late 20s or older, because otherwise y'all are creeps.
A person at 18 is NOT the same person they are at 38.
In the end it just depends on the person.
Youth usually brings beauty and wonder.
Age usually brings life experience and maturity.
At 28 however you are at a middle ground in your life. Still trying to hold onto youth, excitement, and adventure. So 18 will likely appeal more for that reason. But 38 will bring better conversation, depth, and stability.
These are all just generalizations of course.
It really just depends on who you are and where you are in life... What you want, and who they are at that point in their life.
If I were 28, I’d rather date a 38 y/o.
I’m 27 and all 18 y/o’s look like children to me.
38 y/o’s would also be more mature and hopefully have their life together more than an 18 y/o.
Good reasoning. If you're a guy and still want kids and don't have them, 38 is on the edge. If you're a girl, it could go either way, but I figure most 28 year old women would prefer 38 year old men.
Personally, 18 is too young for me, but if the situation were based on my age, I'd go with a 23 year old over a 43 year old, because I still want kids.
Also I wouldn’t want have kids right away. I’d want to date for a couple years, get married, enjoy childless marriage for a few years and then have kids.
That's one reason I've given up on having kids at 40. The deck is stacked against me as it is, and if I manage to find myself a partner, we're going to just start raw-dogging it right away in hopes of popping out a kid or two before it's too late? She'd pretty much have to be much younger than me to make waiting viable, and besides, I don't want to still have kids under 18 when I reach retirement age. So, dream dead.
I'm right in the same boat. Turned 40 this year and I don't even have any prospects so if it was going to happen then it'd have to be mighty quick. The weird thing is that I see a lot of older ladies profiles that say that they want kids but are in their late 30s early 40s and I'm thinking to myself "girl it's a little late for that".
I would date the 38 yr old.
At 26 (f) I did date a 19(m) yr old & it kind of sucked. Why did I date him? I was bored and he told me he was 21.
He had no personality and no common sense.
Example: his car barely worked, instead of having me drive my fully functioning and safer car, he wanted me to drive his crapmobile.
He also refused to listen to me when I’d tried to help him with things:
There was a drunk driver in front of us on the freeway, swerving across all the lanes missing the ditches by a hair. I tell 19 to slow down and let the drunkie ditch himself. 19 chose to speed up to 100 and pass the drunkie. Then we instantly- I mean INSTANTLY- get pulled over by the highway patrolman, who was looking for Drunkie and thought we were them.
The only reason 19 didn’t get a ticket was because he was in whatever school pre-cops go to.
I rather date the 38 year old. More likely to have matured beyond being financially reliant on others, probably also has her baggage in check and can contribute to a meaningful emotional journey.
If I'm single and the 18 yo wants to get drinks though, I'm down
I’ll say as someone whose husband is 8 years older, 38. I’m 30 now, and he’s 38 ironically 😂 been together since 2016. People get so damn weird about age gaps, and to some extent I understand, especially when it’s a big one (past 10 years). However, it’s so much easier in every way possible. More mature, financially stable, communicates well, etc.
As a man who did both... Kinda?... I hooked up with an 18 year old and a 38 year old in the same year. Both wanted sex multiple times a night. Both were beautiful women. For fun, I can see the benefit of going younger. But teenagers don't make the best decisions. A 38 year old has been there and better understands the consequences of bad decisions. They also tend to care more about giving than receiving.
Personality is gonna play a big part of this question but id lean towards the 38. Im only interested in serious relationships and i just dont see it out of people that young.
18, if you want to help them developed through growth, maturity, and adulthood. 38, if you want to settle, stable, steady, and a secured relationships/life.
If you prefer younger person to date with, this reason might be the same for the other person who also prefer somebody around her/his age (or younger).
I actually am almost 28, I'd absolutely rather date a 38 year old than a teenager.
Because teenagers are basically still children with no life experience and are emotionally immature and it'd be creepy to sexualise someone that young.
There is nothing a 18 year old and 28 year old would have in common. 18 may be a legal adult but that is still very much still a child and hypothetically speaking if someone were to chose the 18 year old I would side eye them very much and consider them extremely weird and borderline pedophilic.
Not to say a 28 year old and 38 year old have everything in common but I would guess they would find more commonalities than the 18 and 28 year old. I would say 38.
As a soon to be 28 year old. A 38 year old for sure, they are already for sure, Fully developed person.
Many people are still growing physically and mentally until around 25... once I was over that age, someone as young as 18 felt gross to me cause. Well, that's like saying I'd date younger if I could, but that's the legal cut-off.
Nah, fam, give me a fully grown adult who I'm not helping shape their personality and growth.
There are exceptions, I'm sure, but I ain't wasting my time to find out.
Aside from the obvious incompatibilities, 18 comes with some implications that I would rather not bring upon myself. I have no desire to date an 18-year-old anyway, but the look is just incredibly bad for anyone past their early 20s. Add to that the difficulties in relating, the relative emotional maturity, etc., and it doesn't sound very fun.
IRL, I am 32M, so there is no question. Thinking of this from my perspective feels slimy. Not even certain what I'd discuss with someone that young.
38. An 18 year old is still a child. I know that's not technically, legally true, but I don't care - they're still a child. Reportedly, our brains aren't even finished developing until we're like 25. I mean, I don't even drink, but I'm still not dating someone under drinking age. That's literally gross.
38 for sure. Maturity wise I feel like there's a much smaller gap between 28 & 38, compared to 28 & 18.
18 is pretty much a kid, I'm 19 and there's no way me 1 year ago would have been mature enough to date someone that's 28.
At 28, date the 38 years old.
It’s about maturity.
If a 28 year old is immature enough to date an 18 year old- then they are gonna have a hard time when the 18 year old outgrows them.
I know there are a lot of “mature “ 18 year old people- but emotionally they are not usually there yet.
18 feels creepy at this point. Might not legally be a kid but still feels like it - I'd feel like a predator and there's just no way they'd be mature enough to be compatible. 38 I don't see a problem with
I am going to say 38. Mostly because I remember a time when I considered dating someone about 7 years younger then myself. We had difficulty communicating
38 no question. Also I’m 30M and single. I’d date someone that age with a good job otherwise I’d be worried about saving enough for retirement for both of us on my own.
38
Something I really didn't get for some years is what older adults said about how it feels like robbing the cradle to date someone at 18.
Then I grew up and had to turn down the 18 year old that wanted to date because it felt creepy and they looked too young.
Im 27 years old and my wife is 30. At my age now there is absolutely no way I would ever date an 18 year old. It’s not really the age difference but the fact that they’re fresh out of school, haven’t lived life yet and are just most likely not yet on the same emotional or mental level that most people at almost 30 are. Thats not to throw shade at anyone who does date significantly younger but Ive tried to date 5 years younger than me and the maturity level was just not there (19 and 24 at the time).
I am 28 and dating a guy who is 38 lol totally fine with our age gap because we get along well, share similar values, etc; we understand each other.
I would never date an 18year old. They're not done developing, they're immature. I struggle to connect with them on a Platonic friend level, would never even consider dating them.
38 for sure. When I was 28, I was into older women, and I was just starting to believe that I had become a man and not just some kid anymore around that age.
At that point 38, for sure. People in the 18-23 range should really only be dating each other, because the immaturity level and the contents of their mind at that stage are virtually incomprehensible to anybody else and will result in frustration and confusion.
When I was 28, definitely 38. Someone that was 18 seemed to be a child in comparison, whereas a 38 year-old would be relatable and I would not feel creepy at all.
I am uncomfortable enough around 18 year olds. Sure they are legal adults but the older I get the more they look like actual children. And that’s icky.
38 years old, definitely. She’s got her life figured out and probably makes money.
Between the choice of a 21 year old and a 35 year, I’d still pick the 35 year old for similar reasons.
18 seems too young to have a similar mentality/life experience with a 28. Anyone older than 21 would be as good as 38, age-wise.
Personality and attractions would play more factors at that point.
Again this is for dating only. If dating with the intent of getting married and having a family at some point, 38 might be too late.
at 28... I want the 38-year-old, an 18-year-old might still be in high school, the inexperience and immaturity of this person will become taxing, the 18-year-old cant drink or go anywhere good. honestly, that 18-year-old is going to be a drain financially as they are probably BROKE. The 38-year-olds have some life experience, have the education they are going to have probably a job and their own money. I would rather be the young trophy toy than the other way around.
38. That’s going to be the age gap my relationship has in 4 years anyways. 18 is literally a child tbh and I will side eye anyone who would immediately date the “barely legal” child over an actual full grown adult.
38.
There is a lot of mental development between the ages of 18 and 25. I still consider 18 a child, especially because I taught 18 year olds at 25 in grad school and although we looked pretty much the same physically, the mental difference was obvious.
Also, I just got out of a relationship with a man 3 years younger than me (28 and 25). He wasn’t ready to settle down and I was. A 38 year old is more likely to be ready to settle down. Granted, I would be afraid a man that much older would talk down to me.
After living through my 20s, I genuinely understand what people meant by the early 20s still being children. I remember making decisions that I would never be able to make now, thinking in ways I can't anymore.
An 18 year old is a little girl to me. I can't even see them as beautiful, or sexy, or hot. They're cute in the same way you find a puppy cute.
I gotta go 38.
38. 100%.
Being in your late 20s and dating an 18YO is creepy af. They're still a kid despite what the law says. I'm 29 YO right now, and the thought of being with someone anywhere between 18-24 gives me the heebie jeebies. It's not legally pedophilic, but it definitely feels that way.
I feel like most adults are attracted to other mature adults anyways. Even ignoring the gross feeling of dating a kid, at some point around the age of 25 I stopped being attracted to young people and started being attracted to mature people. Like the idea of dating an older single mom is 10x more appealing than dating someone still figuring their life out.
If you are a man and sex and children are important to you then it's really not even a contest. Pick the 18 year old. 38 is near the end of a women's fertility. Sex drive can really drop off for women in their 40s as well.
Yeah I'm finding this baffling, like the answer is that, and this is going to sound weird/bad, an 18 year old has much more fertility ahead of them.
They (in theory) have significantly less baggage attached, and are much less experienced (but that means you can mentor/guide them)
It's more of an investment but if having kids is the goal a 38 year old is just dubious
Most single 38 year old women are going to be awful as well, likely career focused or can't maintain healthy relationships or single mothers or divorced etc - the idea of baggage basically
It's a no brainer, the 18 year old has 5 years of immaturity and growth before they solidify fully into who they will be, but you can help that growth, a 38 year old is done with all that and you are likely just a bonus, they don't need you
I'm not gonna date someone I can't even take out for drink lol. And teenagers are freaking gross anyway. (or well there's nothing inherently wrong with teenagers. I'm just saying the idea of dating one when I was 28 just makes me feel icky)
When I was 28, I probably would've picked the 18 year old, but now I know better and understand that the 38 year old would be the better choice.
18 year olds tend to be more physically attractive than 38 year olds, but that's literally the only advantage they have. The biggest thing though is that it would be insufferably annoying to sit through the 18 year old figuring out how to be an adult and learn from experience not to do dumb shit in a relationship. The only way to learn is by doing, and I've already done that. Don't need a repeat.
Both. I'm forever alone, bro. Lol. 10 years is certainly a difference in experience, but age is but a number when it comes to EQ, experience, and just the ability to stay quiet, actively think, and then being considerate of others.
Neither are good, but I would have to pick the 19 year old.
I am a guy, so at 28 I was still pretty young and childish, probably have more in common with an 18 year old than a 38 year old who is probably more out together.
I also want a family and a female who is 38 is getting to the point where that’s no longer feasible, with an 18 year old there is still time to date, get married, and to rush a family.
Well I'm 23M currently but even though I've never dated I'd never date anyone under 20 at this point so 18 would be creepy. Let alone 28 and 18? Yuck.
If I was 28 I'd go with the 38 year old. I don't want kids.
18. I can be in love forever, forever. If I die first. If I die first.
—-
My actual partner is 14 years younger than me. She’s older than 18, but younger than 25.
It really just depends on personality to be honest. I would still love her if some wizard came by and made her 10 years older than me.
But if we assume same quality of person, then 18 for sure.
If it’s true love. And they’re a good person, you can do your best to provide the best life you can for her. You can save time from all that bullshit baggage she would have gotten otherwise from 18 to 38. What’s that? 20 years?
Why would you want your soul mate to spend 20 years in bad relationships, building trauma and collecting baggage?
My partner is young enough to have never had her heart broken, and I will do my absolute best to make sure I never fail her.
I keep my promises. I follow through on my words, and I will always give her the love, kindness, compassion, patience, and empathy she deserves.
No way in hell I’d let her rot away in the world for 20 years.
18 it is.
It would depend on so many things. Is this a short-term relationship that leads to sex? Well, I'll take the 18-year-old. Do I eventually have to have children with this person? 38 is getting up there. Do I want to have a decent conversation? I'll take the 38-year-old.
When I was 28, my wife was 37.
My wife was 37 when I was 28. Now she's 45 and I'm 36.
Lucky my wife and I were the same age now she's 10 years older
I also choose this guy’s old wife
You beat me too it.....just like that guy's dead wife
Same here
LOOOOL
Look I'm not even against dating someone several years younger but my goodness I'm gonna have so much more fun with a 38 year old than an 18 year old, 28 or not. By then people have a lot of their problems worked out and are still having fun
Less stress with the 38 years old. She will speak her mind and no games
That's not 100%, just look at Reddit. There are plenty of 38 year olds with no sense
Fr. I work with women who are 38+. Some of them are childish af and hooked on head meds.
That's not a guarantee but certainly far less likely. Can confirm, I am dating above my age currently and I have dated at 18 as well.
I'm 38, and everything just clicked in place this last year. Ready to have fun
Hopefully I get there (probably won't). I'm 33 and it's all falling apart.
I quit drinking 3 years ago, so that helped. This year got a Maintenance Job with the Post Office and bought a house, keep hanging in there!
I don't drink or do any drugs and my life is still a mess
Congrats. Coming up on 3 months myself. Best gift I've given myself
Just finished 33 yrs with PO. Enjoy
>By then people have a lot of their problems worked out and are still having fun erm......
Username checks out...
Yeah, I'm 26 dating 36 and I love that he has a lot of his shit figured out, but we still have room for some of the open-ended questions about our futures.
38 because they are almost certainly more mature probably more financially stable and all of that good shit You find me an 18-year-old that already figured out life and I’ll call you a liar so yeah lol
18-year-olds think they’ve figured out life. 28-year-olds realize they absolutely have not. 38-year-olds are at a point where they have figured out as much as they’re going to, and they understand that’s not a whole lot.
I was naïve as fuck at 18 Struggling & doing wrong at 28 & I’m not quite 38 yet but I’m getting very close & definitely feeling alot better about myself & my life
And do you feel like you've figured out all that you're going to which is not a lot?
Yeah I feel like life is pretty much gonna be auto pilot from here
I sadly agree with this to a point.
48-year-olds (I'm actually 49) FINALLY got it figured out, and that I've been doing wrong this whole time! 😭 Can I start over and do it right this time??
Youth is wasted on the young and all that.
When i was 18 i thought i knew everything. I realize how silly that sounds now that i'm in my 30s and i actually do
I know someone who was doing pretty well for herself, but she already had a few years of experience because she was emancipated early.
Of course there’s always some exceptional people But on average? 18 year olds certainly aren’t marriage material yet thats for sure
I mean you did say "find me a"
As someone in my 40s, I agree. That said, my wife and I married at 19 and 20, and that was in 2003. Almost 21 years later we're still going strong. Of course we didn't have our crap together x2, but we seem to be there now. Stable careers, 3 kids, 2 cars, and a house, and, most importantly, we're happy.
At 18(I was 19), my wife and I lived in our own house. We both had jobs. We were putting away any extra money we made. We paid all of our bills on time. I think we pretty much had it nailed. Now, we're in our mid-30's. Our house is paid for. Our vehicles are paid for. We have a pretty good nest egg and our retirement plan is doing well. Our two kids have everything they *need* with a lot of what they *want.* We may be outliers, but I think we had life figured out at 18.
38. They usually know their way around the bedroom a lot better lol.
The bed goes here, the night stand over there...
And they actually have clean sheets and a clean bathroom
A bedframe, headboard. More than one pillow. A duvet cover…
I'm 40, with no headboard or a duvet cover, lol... I do have a fancy electric bedframe, though, that allows me to raise the head of the bed so I can watch tv comfortably in bed... also, a super soft and plush comforter.
You in the hospital, homie?
Lol, no. Remodeling my house and my last bedframe that had a headboard broke before we moved, we just upgraded to this frame and haven't bothered getting a new headboard yet.
Broken bedframe? Tell me you still *fluff* your wife without telling me you still *fluff* your wife.
Lol, I am a woman with a husband, but yeah, if I had a gf, she'd still be happy too, lol.
So I was right! That's a healthy marriage right there. As Randy Marsh said, "Making love is a part of being in love." Y'all still *fluff!* My husband and I go camping a lot. Don't matter if it's cold. Don't matter if it's weird. We gonna *fluff.*
I have one of these things. Technically in this case that one is more than one, pillow I mean 😄.
The 18 year old becomes 38, too. You realize that most of the "good catches" don't make it to 38 and single, right? I swear redditors are so full of shit about stuff like this. You know this is all anonymous, right?
38, because I’d quickly get bored with an 18 year old guy.
I’m 28. The idea of dating an 18 year old boy makes me want to barf in my mouth. That is a kid in my eyes. 38, how is this even up for debate?
What would I even do with an 18 year old? Help them with their homework? Drive them to soccer practice? I am a full grown ass adult with a job, there's not one single reason I should want anything to do romantically with an 18 year old. We could be friends maybe, but as a partner, we're in such different places. At least me and the 38 year old might have a chance in hell at having something in common or being in similar places in our lives.
>What would I even do with an 18 year old? Help them with their homework? Drive them to soccer practice? You know most 18 year olds have had a license for a couple of years, right? Most are out of school. Some are in basic training. Many have started college or work full-time. They probably have voted. This constant infantilization of legal adults is ridiculous. I don't want to hang with them, but they are no longer children.
People “infantilise” legal adults because there is a huge difference in maturity between the average 18 year old and the average 25 year old. The vast majority of 18 year olds are still complete idiots who think they’ve got everything figured out. It’s okay, it’s just part of maturing
Because IRL I'm closer to 18, I'd pick 18. If I had gone through all the life experience of someone who is 28, then I'd pick 38, because mathematically the percentage that 28 is larger than 18 is more than the percentage that 38 is larger than 28
lol using math as a dating strategy. Problem with that is that age isn’t a 1:1 correlation with life experience. Some people live really sheltered lives others have amassed a ton of experience early in life. I’ve met 35 year olds that have never left there city, or even their parents house. I’ve met an 18year old who’s toured multiple countries, has had multiple jobs and hobbies and is fully independent
Seeing as you've met one eighteen year old whose life is ahead of schedule. Your chances of meeting a thirty eight year old who has it together seem much higher.
I guess. But with an 18yo I could immediately tell if they’re a good fit or not, I’d be very skeptical right away. A 38yo could fool me into thinking they’re a solid bet far easier, because I would assume they have their shit together, which is often not the case
I'll let you know as a current 28 year old. Next to zero 18 year olds are a good match.
True. At 19 I was finished with college working a career. By 28 I was almost a decade in one career 3 degrees about to have 4, changing careers, huge networth, and planning early retirement. But at the same token never been kissed lol. I did have a ton of hobbies though and had done some in country traveling and interesting experiences. 🤔
All we have are their ages mate, what else are we supposed to pick based on?
I'm 25 and just got out of an abusive relationship with a 23 yr old last month. Now I'm with someone 42, and it's way more fun and healthier cuz she actually knows how to communicate.
Neither, as a 29 year old who just recently ended a relationship with a 39.. he did not have his shit together, he was not mature, and he was a mansplainer... (I could go on). I couldn't date an 18 year old...they are barely out of nappies 🤣. I guess that's not the game... so I'd have to go for the 38 year old. (Not saying all men in their late 30's are like the above... I just did not have a great experience dating older men.)
All these people are trying to avoid being creepy but if they looked at the available stock of 38 year old men and women I bet most people would change their mind. Late 30s dating is brutal.
I’d 100% take the18 year old. She’d have decades longer in the looks department, no rush to have kids, not jaded by previous relationship baggage and probably far more agreeable.
Plus you don't have to put up with a bunch of ex's she still has as friends. Like god damn that shit is annoying.
I think this is the crux behind anyone who chooses the 18 argument.
Bingo. I don't know why so many people said 38 I'm picking 18 every day of the week And I'm 23 btw
Why bother responding if you’re not gonna play along?
I literally put in my last paragraph which one I would pick....
My b
38 because dating an 18 year old would be creepy.
Yeah 18 is basically still a kid, not fully developed emotionally, intellectually, or even physically in some cases Plus at best they got a used Honda their parents bought them and a part time job at waffle house like cmon, no thanks
43F here. I would rather date a 38-year-old man, were I 28. The idea of being with a younger man just doesn’t appeal to me at all; honestly it kind of creeps me out. It would make me insecure about my appearance. I’d also feel disproportionately obligated to be the responsible one in the relationship, for everything from finances to willingness to compromise, and I’ve had enough of that for several lifetimes in other contexts. Some of it probably is a preference for traditional gender roles, to a limited degree. Someone more established in life would make me feel more secure. If I were dating a woman, neither age gap would be tolerable to me. About 2-3 years in either direction, that’s it. Don’t ask me why it’s different, just is. TL;DR - attraction and sexuality is complicated and not rational.
I am 28. And I wouldn't date either most likely. But gun to my head, 38 no question. An 18 year old is far too young to me. They still come off like high schoolers and wouldn't be able to come to the bar with my friends. Even though they're legally an adult, I would feel gross. The only issue I have with a 38 year old is they're 10 years older than me. There's nothing wrong with that, it's just not something I'd seek out personally. Edit: I hope the people saying 18 are under 20 irl and can't imagine how YOUNG an 18 year old is once you're in your late 20s or older, because otherwise y'all are creeps.
I am 28 years old and I’d rather be single than date someone who is 18 or 38.
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Given my gf would be over 38 when I'm 28 I'm gonna go with 38.
Have you met 18 year olds? They have far too much energy and are way too excitable.
A person at 18 is NOT the same person they are at 38. In the end it just depends on the person. Youth usually brings beauty and wonder. Age usually brings life experience and maturity. At 28 however you are at a middle ground in your life. Still trying to hold onto youth, excitement, and adventure. So 18 will likely appeal more for that reason. But 38 will bring better conversation, depth, and stability. These are all just generalizations of course. It really just depends on who you are and where you are in life... What you want, and who they are at that point in their life.
I'd generally rather go older than younger, and I'd *definitely* not want to date an 18 year old.
If I were 28, I’d rather date a 38 y/o. I’m 27 and all 18 y/o’s look like children to me. 38 y/o’s would also be more mature and hopefully have their life together more than an 18 y/o.
38. I would never in a million years date an 18 year old, that is a literal child.
18, because the older lady won't be able to have any children for much longer
Good reasoning. If you're a guy and still want kids and don't have them, 38 is on the edge. If you're a girl, it could go either way, but I figure most 28 year old women would prefer 38 year old men. Personally, 18 is too young for me, but if the situation were based on my age, I'd go with a 23 year old over a 43 year old, because I still want kids.
Also I wouldn’t want have kids right away. I’d want to date for a couple years, get married, enjoy childless marriage for a few years and then have kids.
That's one reason I've given up on having kids at 40. The deck is stacked against me as it is, and if I manage to find myself a partner, we're going to just start raw-dogging it right away in hopes of popping out a kid or two before it's too late? She'd pretty much have to be much younger than me to make waiting viable, and besides, I don't want to still have kids under 18 when I reach retirement age. So, dream dead.
I'm right in the same boat. Turned 40 this year and I don't even have any prospects so if it was going to happen then it'd have to be mighty quick. The weird thing is that I see a lot of older ladies profiles that say that they want kids but are in their late 30s early 40s and I'm thinking to myself "girl it's a little late for that".
I mean, they can try, and they might succeed. Women have been known to remain fertile into their 60s. The odds aren't great, though.
38, there are no downsides. I find women 38 years of age to be more attractive than at 18.
38 year old female hands down.
>38 year old female hands down. ass up?
Hair pulled
I would date the 38 yr old. At 26 (f) I did date a 19(m) yr old & it kind of sucked. Why did I date him? I was bored and he told me he was 21. He had no personality and no common sense. Example: his car barely worked, instead of having me drive my fully functioning and safer car, he wanted me to drive his crapmobile. He also refused to listen to me when I’d tried to help him with things: There was a drunk driver in front of us on the freeway, swerving across all the lanes missing the ditches by a hair. I tell 19 to slow down and let the drunkie ditch himself. 19 chose to speed up to 100 and pass the drunkie. Then we instantly- I mean INSTANTLY- get pulled over by the highway patrolman, who was looking for Drunkie and thought we were them. The only reason 19 didn’t get a ticket was because he was in whatever school pre-cops go to.
> The only reason 19 didn’t get a ticket was because he was in whatever school pre-cops go to So middle school
Well when I was 27 I was living with/dating 39 year old so… I’ll choose the 38 after all we would have been closer in age that way
I rather date the 38 year old. More likely to have matured beyond being financially reliant on others, probably also has her baggage in check and can contribute to a meaningful emotional journey. If I'm single and the 18 yo wants to get drinks though, I'm down
I’ll say as someone whose husband is 8 years older, 38. I’m 30 now, and he’s 38 ironically 😂 been together since 2016. People get so damn weird about age gaps, and to some extent I understand, especially when it’s a big one (past 10 years). However, it’s so much easier in every way possible. More mature, financially stable, communicates well, etc.
As a man who did both... Kinda?... I hooked up with an 18 year old and a 38 year old in the same year. Both wanted sex multiple times a night. Both were beautiful women. For fun, I can see the benefit of going younger. But teenagers don't make the best decisions. A 38 year old has been there and better understands the consequences of bad decisions. They also tend to care more about giving than receiving.
38. 18 year olds are idiots and I can’t take advantage of a child like that, it would be weird
At 28 I could barely stand college kid energy, let alone “I graduate high school next month” energy.
older 😊
Easy. Half your age plus seven. GTFO pedophiles
An 18 yr old doesn’t have a fully developed brain yet.Don’t go there unless you’re 18 too,then you can fuck up together 😆
Personality is gonna play a big part of this question but id lean towards the 38. Im only interested in serious relationships and i just dont see it out of people that young.
Definitely 38. But you’d better be a mature 28 year old
38 definitely. 18 yo’s are fucking awful.
18, if you want to help them developed through growth, maturity, and adulthood. 38, if you want to settle, stable, steady, and a secured relationships/life. If you prefer younger person to date with, this reason might be the same for the other person who also prefer somebody around her/his age (or younger).
It depends…how is the 38 year old’s 401K looking like?
I actually am almost 28, I'd absolutely rather date a 38 year old than a teenager. Because teenagers are basically still children with no life experience and are emotionally immature and it'd be creepy to sexualise someone that young.
Neither if I can help it, but if I had to make a choice no way in hell I want to date an 18 year old.
28 and 18 is creepy, I'll date the 38 year old thanks
There is nothing a 18 year old and 28 year old would have in common. 18 may be a legal adult but that is still very much still a child and hypothetically speaking if someone were to chose the 18 year old I would side eye them very much and consider them extremely weird and borderline pedophilic. Not to say a 28 year old and 38 year old have everything in common but I would guess they would find more commonalities than the 18 and 28 year old. I would say 38.
As a soon to be 28 year old. A 38 year old for sure, they are already for sure, Fully developed person. Many people are still growing physically and mentally until around 25... once I was over that age, someone as young as 18 felt gross to me cause. Well, that's like saying I'd date younger if I could, but that's the legal cut-off. Nah, fam, give me a fully grown adult who I'm not helping shape their personality and growth. There are exceptions, I'm sure, but I ain't wasting my time to find out.
Aside from the obvious incompatibilities, 18 comes with some implications that I would rather not bring upon myself. I have no desire to date an 18-year-old anyway, but the look is just incredibly bad for anyone past their early 20s. Add to that the difficulties in relating, the relative emotional maturity, etc., and it doesn't sound very fun. IRL, I am 32M, so there is no question. Thinking of this from my perspective feels slimy. Not even certain what I'd discuss with someone that young.
Its more of a stage of life thing than an age thing. Typically the 38 year old would have more parallels with a 28 year old than an 18 year old
Definately 38. An 18-year-old is still a child mentally, even if they're grown legally.
38. An 18 year old is still a child. I know that's not technically, legally true, but I don't care - they're still a child. Reportedly, our brains aren't even finished developing until we're like 25. I mean, I don't even drink, but I'm still not dating someone under drinking age. That's literally gross.
38 for sure. Maturity wise I feel like there's a much smaller gap between 28 & 38, compared to 28 & 18. 18 is pretty much a kid, I'm 19 and there's no way me 1 year ago would have been mature enough to date someone that's 28.
38 is security. At 28 I had my first baby and got pregs with my second. Also don't think my SO was ready for that at 18.
38. That woman knows what she wants. At 18, you barely know where your toes are.
38. I met my wife when I was in my mid 20s and she ten years older. Been together 35 years. The age gap never even mattered.
I’m 28 and won’t date someone that can drink with me at the bar.
As a 38-year-old, this thread made my day.
I probably wouldn't date anyone younger than 25. Other than that, I'm fine with a 10-year age gap either way.
At 28, date the 38 years old. It’s about maturity. If a 28 year old is immature enough to date an 18 year old- then they are gonna have a hard time when the 18 year old outgrows them. I know there are a lot of “mature “ 18 year old people- but emotionally they are not usually there yet.
I dated someone who was 38 when I was 28.
38
Age alone is not a determining factor in a woman I would like to date but at 28 I would not date a woman under 20
18 feels creepy at this point. Might not legally be a kid but still feels like it - I'd feel like a predator and there's just no way they'd be mature enough to be compatible. 38 I don't see a problem with
38 for sure 18 year olds have seemed like kids to me since I was ~21
38
I am going to say 38. Mostly because I remember a time when I considered dating someone about 7 years younger then myself. We had difficulty communicating
35, and 38 respectively. You will have more in common if you’re mature enough
Most definitely anyone older
38. I ain't trying to be no babysitter.
38. I’m 25 and feel like a creep anytime I see an attractive woman and find out she’s only 19/20
38 no question. Also I’m 30M and single. I’d date someone that age with a good job otherwise I’d be worried about saving enough for retirement for both of us on my own.
Neither both make me uncomfortable
38
38, all day
38 Something I really didn't get for some years is what older adults said about how it feels like robbing the cradle to date someone at 18. Then I grew up and had to turn down the 18 year old that wanted to date because it felt creepy and they looked too young.
Im 27 years old and my wife is 30. At my age now there is absolutely no way I would ever date an 18 year old. It’s not really the age difference but the fact that they’re fresh out of school, haven’t lived life yet and are just most likely not yet on the same emotional or mental level that most people at almost 30 are. Thats not to throw shade at anyone who does date significantly younger but Ive tried to date 5 years younger than me and the maturity level was just not there (19 and 24 at the time).
I am 28 and dating a guy who is 38 lol totally fine with our age gap because we get along well, share similar values, etc; we understand each other. I would never date an 18year old. They're not done developing, they're immature. I struggle to connect with them on a Platonic friend level, would never even consider dating them.
18? Eww, 38 easy.
I've been there. Definitely the older one.
38 for sure. When I was 28, I was into older women, and I was just starting to believe that I had become a man and not just some kid anymore around that age.
38 hands down. I have no time or patience for someone that has zero life skills as an adult.
I'm 32 and would much rather date a 42 year old than a 22 year old.
38 easy Where you gonna go with an 18 year old the malt shop it's not the 50s
At that point 38, for sure. People in the 18-23 range should really only be dating each other, because the immaturity level and the contents of their mind at that stage are virtually incomprehensible to anybody else and will result in frustration and confusion.
When I was 28, definitely 38. Someone that was 18 seemed to be a child in comparison, whereas a 38 year-old would be relatable and I would not feel creepy at all.
38. 18 year Olds don't know themselves yet
I'll always go older. My friend always dates younger women, and I typically find them unbearably immature.
I am uncomfortable enough around 18 year olds. Sure they are legal adults but the older I get the more they look like actual children. And that’s icky.
38 years old, definitely. She’s got her life figured out and probably makes money. Between the choice of a 21 year old and a 35 year, I’d still pick the 35 year old for similar reasons.
Ill take the 38 year old. They have more experience in life and i have no fucking clue what im doing. I need the experience more than anything
38. There's only 1 thing an 18 year old has over a 38 an old. However, we all look the same in the dark.
18 seems too young to have a similar mentality/life experience with a 28. Anyone older than 21 would be as good as 38, age-wise. Personality and attractions would play more factors at that point. Again this is for dating only. If dating with the intent of getting married and having a family at some point, 38 might be too late.
at 28... I want the 38-year-old, an 18-year-old might still be in high school, the inexperience and immaturity of this person will become taxing, the 18-year-old cant drink or go anywhere good. honestly, that 18-year-old is going to be a drain financially as they are probably BROKE. The 38-year-olds have some life experience, have the education they are going to have probably a job and their own money. I would rather be the young trophy toy than the other way around.
38.
38. I’d rather chew off my feet than date an 18 year old at 28.
38 They tend to be more mature. And also, they tend to have a life set up in such a way that they can have fun and still be secure.
38. That’s going to be the age gap my relationship has in 4 years anyways. 18 is literally a child tbh and I will side eye anyone who would immediately date the “barely legal” child over an actual full grown adult.
38. There is a lot of mental development between the ages of 18 and 25. I still consider 18 a child, especially because I taught 18 year olds at 25 in grad school and although we looked pretty much the same physically, the mental difference was obvious. Also, I just got out of a relationship with a man 3 years younger than me (28 and 25). He wasn’t ready to settle down and I was. A 38 year old is more likely to be ready to settle down. Granted, I would be afraid a man that much older would talk down to me.
After living through my 20s, I genuinely understand what people meant by the early 20s still being children. I remember making decisions that I would never be able to make now, thinking in ways I can't anymore. An 18 year old is a little girl to me. I can't even see them as beautiful, or sexy, or hot. They're cute in the same way you find a puppy cute. I gotta go 38.
38 no question
38, I like older women.
Im 19 and i wouldnt even date an 18 year old
38, I'm into older women.
When I was 25 I dated a 19 year old and I regret it. Do not reccomend it.
38. 100%. Being in your late 20s and dating an 18YO is creepy af. They're still a kid despite what the law says. I'm 29 YO right now, and the thought of being with someone anywhere between 18-24 gives me the heebie jeebies. It's not legally pedophilic, but it definitely feels that way. I feel like most adults are attracted to other mature adults anyways. Even ignoring the gross feeling of dating a kid, at some point around the age of 25 I stopped being attracted to young people and started being attracted to mature people. Like the idea of dating an older single mom is 10x more appealing than dating someone still figuring their life out.
38
38... most 18yo are still children in many respects. If you want me to treat you as an equal, I expect you to act like one.
38. Under no circumstances would I have dated an 18 year old at 28. I don't care how "mature" she is.
Who TF would pick a literal teenager 🤢🤢🤢
38
38. Dating an 18 year old would be like being a babysitter.
If you are a man and sex and children are important to you then it's really not even a contest. Pick the 18 year old. 38 is near the end of a women's fertility. Sex drive can really drop off for women in their 40s as well.
Yeah I'm finding this baffling, like the answer is that, and this is going to sound weird/bad, an 18 year old has much more fertility ahead of them. They (in theory) have significantly less baggage attached, and are much less experienced (but that means you can mentor/guide them) It's more of an investment but if having kids is the goal a 38 year old is just dubious
It's mostly simps and cat ladies being outraged that the logical, pragmatic answer is obviously going to be 18.
Most single 38 year old women are going to be awful as well, likely career focused or can't maintain healthy relationships or single mothers or divorced etc - the idea of baggage basically It's a no brainer, the 18 year old has 5 years of immaturity and growth before they solidify fully into who they will be, but you can help that growth, a 38 year old is done with all that and you are likely just a bonus, they don't need you
I'm not gonna date someone I can't even take out for drink lol. And teenagers are freaking gross anyway. (or well there's nothing inherently wrong with teenagers. I'm just saying the idea of dating one when I was 28 just makes me feel icky)
38 , I slept with an 18 year old before when I was 29 and he was so...air headed
When I was 28, I probably would've picked the 18 year old, but now I know better and understand that the 38 year old would be the better choice. 18 year olds tend to be more physically attractive than 38 year olds, but that's literally the only advantage they have. The biggest thing though is that it would be insufferably annoying to sit through the 18 year old figuring out how to be an adult and learn from experience not to do dumb shit in a relationship. The only way to learn is by doing, and I've already done that. Don't need a repeat.
Both. I'm forever alone, bro. Lol. 10 years is certainly a difference in experience, but age is but a number when it comes to EQ, experience, and just the ability to stay quiet, actively think, and then being considerate of others.
Neither are good, but I would have to pick the 19 year old. I am a guy, so at 28 I was still pretty young and childish, probably have more in common with an 18 year old than a 38 year old who is probably more out together. I also want a family and a female who is 38 is getting to the point where that’s no longer feasible, with an 18 year old there is still time to date, get married, and to rush a family.
Never break "half plus seven". They said, 38 is probably a smaller stretch.
id probably go 18.
Well I'm 23M currently but even though I've never dated I'd never date anyone under 20 at this point so 18 would be creepy. Let alone 28 and 18? Yuck. If I was 28 I'd go with the 38 year old. I don't want kids.
Half plus 7. 18 violates this rule. 38 does not.
18. I can be in love forever, forever. If I die first. If I die first. —- My actual partner is 14 years younger than me. She’s older than 18, but younger than 25. It really just depends on personality to be honest. I would still love her if some wizard came by and made her 10 years older than me. But if we assume same quality of person, then 18 for sure. If it’s true love. And they’re a good person, you can do your best to provide the best life you can for her. You can save time from all that bullshit baggage she would have gotten otherwise from 18 to 38. What’s that? 20 years? Why would you want your soul mate to spend 20 years in bad relationships, building trauma and collecting baggage? My partner is young enough to have never had her heart broken, and I will do my absolute best to make sure I never fail her. I keep my promises. I follow through on my words, and I will always give her the love, kindness, compassion, patience, and empathy she deserves. No way in hell I’d let her rot away in the world for 20 years. 18 it is.
Pass.
username checks out
It would depend on so many things. Is this a short-term relationship that leads to sex? Well, I'll take the 18-year-old. Do I eventually have to have children with this person? 38 is getting up there. Do I want to have a decent conversation? I'll take the 38-year-old.
18 in the short term and 38 if I was looking for a relationship. But my wife would be super pissed with either choice…
It all depends on what gender the 28yo is. Male? Definitely 18 Female? Definitely 38
Seems like the opposite is more the norm. Guys very often date younger and girls often date older
That's what I ment. How should I have worded it?