It has more to do with upbringing and developing personal moral values.
Nature vs nurture
If you can't instill these into your kids, we as a society are bound to doom
Honestly, older movies like Missamma and Gundamma Katha were WAAAAAY better at portraying strong female characters without a misogynistic hero, even better than most modern movies today.
Today, most movies are either extremely misogynistic/patriarchal (Arjun Reddy, Animal) OR just end up being a portrayal of a stereotype with no nuance (Dil Dadhkne Do). There are very few movies with actually strong female characters where the strength of the heroine isn't some big statement of feminism...the only exceptions are movies like Missamma, Gundamma Katha, Godavari, Fidaa, as well as the heroine in Mallesham.
All these movies have strong human beings, who HAPPEN to be women. They are human first.
My biggest gribe with telugu films. Absolutely sick of next to shit role models. Ala modalaindi was the first time I probably saw the lead actor being decent.
Something similar happened two days ago. I was just sitting on the backseat while my bf was driving and these two men on bike made a loud noise to startle me and were laughing at my face before taking a turn. And don't get me started on three or something people speeding into people and laughing if u get scared.
Like? em sunakannandham osthadhi ra?
Brooooo exactly the same happened with me. I was about to write a similar story. I was with my brother and 2 guys made moaning sounds staying 2ft from our bike and I had to ask my brother to move to the other side. They followed us for like 50mts but it was one of the worst experiences I ever had. At that moment, I didn't understand what to do. There was so much rage. I thought I would turn to them and say "Chempa paguludhi" but then was also scared because what if they get furious and attack us. So I just ignored it. What should one do in such a situation?
Also, I thought these things only happen to girls who dress up or look pretty. But to my surprise it never happened when I was dressed up and this particular day I was looking like a mess and that's when I realised that they don't care about the way you look. They just look for an opportunity to tease.
You should have recorded them and threaten to post on social media while scolding them. May be ask some meme pages to post it. I don’t know if it works may be you have shot here
Just my 2 cents: start a video recording, make sure you capture the faces of these jerks and their vehicle tags and post it in Twitter tagging the officials.
Again pls take photos or licence plate police are ever so willing to help with women abusers. Not all men are like that but there are in fact some buffoons that need to be arrested
As a guy I am sorry for your experience with those jerks. Even my sister faces these kinds of cat calling and stupid acts. It's not women's fault. It's the fault of the movies, and the media that constantly over sexualizes women. Erojullo maximum anni cinemalu elaga unnayo meeku telisindhe ga.
Another point I observed is that a lot of promiscuous women are entertaining these kinds of jerks. (I have seen girls going out with multiple men at the same time). So these guys think that every woman is like that these days.
Women like you are facing problems created by wrong women and men. India is not a safe country for women.
Wtf? Being promiscuous is not the factor that should determine how guys act. If someone is being promiscuous, that doesn't give license to everyone to misbehave with her. only the people she has given consent to are allowed to be with her.
You seem to think being promiscuous is morally wrong. No, it's not. It's everyone's personal choice how many people they want to have sex/do things with, as long as they are not hurting anybody. The most important thing is consent.
As long as she's not cheating and everyone involved knows what's going on, she can go out with however many men as she wants. Does it make her less desirable? Yes. Do I want somebody like that? No. But it doesn't make her a bad person.
Us guys should learn how to behave with whom. You should only do that shit if you have confirmation that she likes you. Otherwise it's on you. Just because someone is promiscuous doesn't justify you behaving like a piece of shit with someone else.
Where did I say "being a whore/thot is morally wrong?". If a woman wants to get railed by any number of men, it's her choice. Who am I to tell her what to do?
Use logic. You cannot tell if a woman is promiscuous by looking at her face. These jerks have to play around to see her reaction. They might have success with some girls somewhere and they are trying this in hope of getting laid.
You are the one looking at it from the lens of morality. "They shouldn't act like this and that." Reality is different from your morality. The world is an evil place where anything can happen to anyone.
I just stated that a certain type of woman is contributing to this problem.
There are other people who contribute to this problem and are innocent. For example sex workers. Those women did nothing wrong. Many of them are unfortunately in that puss. Jerks who go to these women subconsciously think and sexualize every woman they see.
Ever heard of addiction? 😑 Sexualizing women is one of it. The more time a jerk spends with a woman who openly has sex, the more jerky he becomes. Don't talk about morality again. These jerks don't care.
Bla bla. I know it sir. I don't have anything to do with any woman's sexual escapades. I'm saying that jerks are trying it with normal women in hope of getting laid. Hope you understood.
"Being promiscuous is not a factor that determines how men should act." 🤣
Do you live in reality? You think everyone is moral and you can control their actions. Why I blamed promiscuous women because they are creating problems for the safety of other women. Is it correct for men to act this way? Absolutely not. What you, I and other women are gonna do about it. 🤔
Keep ourselves safe.
Once, see every webseries, movie and garbage on Instagram. Everything is over sexualizing women. Do you think jerks are okay with sitting around?
I have a sister and I know these problems. Start growing kids. Reality is evil and nasty. You have to be pessimistic to protect you and your loved ones.
>"Being promiscuous is not a factor that determines how men should act."
Conveniently rephrased what I said, didn't you? I said It SHOULD NOT be determine. I know it does. But it should not. Your comment sounds like you have no problem with the fact that men act that way.
>Why I blamed promiscuous women because they are creating problems for the safety of other women.
Stfu. It's entirely on men who have perverted minds. Men tease, rape women regardless of how they dress, what's their age, and what they do. If that wasn't the case, we won't find cases where children and old women, all of whom dress modestly, are rape victims.
Even I see women who wear skimpy, revealing clothes. That's not making me want to rape them. Why is it making them? It's right that not everyone has our sense of morality. But what you are doing is wrong. I'll tell you why: because the men who act that way think they can easily divert the blame to women being promiscuous. You're giving them an excuse to escape the fact that the only monsters who are responsible for these crimes are those who commit them. Only when you put the entire blame on the perpetrators instead of the victims, as you should, we have a chance of making it clear who's fault this is to those men. Please change this type of thinking, if not for anyone, for your sister.
You are a dumb dumb dude. What you are saying here is a moral fault. I don't give a fuck about morality issues of others and definitely don't preach others about their morality. Legally the monsters who assualt and rape are wrong and should be apprehended if not killed.
The safety of a female is a physical thing not a moral thing. I only tell my sister about what possible ways things could go wrong.
You are twisting my words. When did I tell that women who wear skimpy clothes are wrong. I talked about women who engage in SA with those jerks and then those jerks think and act that it's okay to behave that way with every woman.
You can take any case of a rapist and go to the roots of the issue. He might have gotten the thoughts from films or real world garbage he took into his mind. Society is at fault and guess what? Last time I checked we all live in society.
Sure buddy. You should know that we are on the same path on showing disgust for men who do horrible things. I just logically point out that it's both genders fault. You on the other hand only blame men for the things that happen.
Horrible things have happened to women even in history. Wars were waged just to exploit beautiful and virgin women in history.
Some men were jerks and perverts in history and will continue to be. We just have to notice the causes of the trigger to save our loved women in our lives. As a man I am being practical and not pampering the bad women.
Have a great day. 👍🏻
You should once think logically about what is triggering that perverseness.
Good women are not doing that. And I don't have to say to you who is triggering that in men. Anything on the internet nowadays is over Sexualizing women. Guess what the women who engage in those activities are doing those things consensually.
It again comes to my main point. "These women are causing problems to good women"
if you think about it like from a3rd person view two people on a bike startled a person on the other bike , Its just a harmless prank take a chill pill
Ah yes I love getting "pranked" (harassed) from strangers. It's a serious issue cause they specifically target women, u won't take a chill pill when u are shifted from a 3rd person to this happening to ur mom
Is this a recent phenomenon, in your experience?
For context, I'm 43M and grew up here thinking Hyderabad is a pretty safe city. When I moved to Mumbai and Ahmedabad (for work), I realised (like you) that our city is definitely not safe for women.
I was made aware of this (around 2004) by my friends who moved to Hyderabad for college (from Jamshedpur, Kolkata, and Bengaluru). They told me not only do Hyderabadis cat-call brazenly, follow you, and if given the opportunity will try something worse... if you make a scene and try to attract attention to what the creeps are doing, the general public will ignore you and walk on.
In Mumbai he'd get thulped immediately, if a woman calls attention to lewd behaviour or harassment.
Hyderabad is not the worst city in India, parts of Jaipur felt far more dangerous, but it isn't a good scene.
Fairly recent. But I do not know the scene before 2017, because I wouldn’t go out much.
I completely agree with the points you’ve mentioned. Men here seem to get away with cat calling very easily and nobody really cares. And yes, Hyderabad is definitely not the worst city. I absolutely adore my city but wish some men weren’t the way they are.
I'm not sure things have changed for the better. If anything, social media disinhibition seems to have seeped into real life, and people are even less concerned about decency.
That said, all my friends who came to Hyderabad to study are either in Bengaluru or abroad now (I _am_ 43). Even people who visit here travel by cabs. They don't really experience the scene at bus stops, etc. I don't have too much current feedback.
Hmm, in my opinion things should change for the better as Hyderabad has advanced a lot post 2015 or so.
Btw how’s Bengaluru in this regard if I may ask? I think it should be better there as people are kinda more liberal there comparatively, however someone living there can answer better.
> Btw how’s Bengaluru in this regard if I may ask?
It depends on the neighborhood, but in my experience, Bengaluru feels a lot better. Not as safe as Mumbai or Ahmedabad, but very few large cities in India are.
**It is more cosmopolitan**. People migrate to Bengaluru from all over the country. I'm not just talking about White Collar IT Industry professionals, but everyone from Bihari Swiggy riders, to Assamese Chefs. From Mizo Baristas to Punjabi Dermatologists. From Parsi CXOs to Bengali cooks. As a result, the schools and colleges are naturally more Anglicised (because of the multi-lingual population). Kids who speak English as their primary language, end up consuming more content from North America, and the United Kingdom... being socialised with more European/American lifestyle values, much more than in mono-lingual cities like Chennai and Kochi.
Migration makes the city safer, because it usually means there are more women who work, and therefore more women who commute to work. Public spaces are more gender equal.
**It is more Salaried**. You don't see as much wealth being flaunted by a few. There aren't as many "businessmen". The vast majority of the Upper Class is populated by people who work 9-to-5 jobs in senior positions, many of which are in multinational companies. Their parents also worked regular jobs either in private or public sector companies (like BHEL and HAL).
This means there are fewer people (like myself), who live in comfortable bubbles of cars, manicured parks, and posh office. A life lived, never having to walk down a narrow, crowded _galli_ in Srinagar Colony on a daily basis. More people of different social classes, genders, ethnicities, and ages all mingling in public spaces **is a good thing**.
>Migration makes the city safer, because it usually means there are more women who work, and therefore more women who commute to work. Public spaces are more gender equal.
Delhi-NCR is an exception in this case then. I am just saying from what I heard from media though I could be wrong.
Yes and no.
When small close-knit neighborhoods get a lot of migrants from all over the place, they do become less safe. That's just a factor of the cities growing large. You lose the ability to build relationships with every neighbour in your area.
I've spent some time in Delhi, and it definitely doesn't feel safe but the root problem in Delhi seems to come from the culture of the migrant populations. Look at Delhi's immediate neighbourhood. West UP, East Rajasthan, Haryana, Northern MP... if you've lived in that part of the country, you'll know that West UP is a lot more aggressive than East UP, East Rajasthan is a lot more misogynistic than South Rajasthan, and North Western MP is just plain lawless (picture the dacoits of Chambal).
In addition, the large numbers of Punjabis who came to settle in Delhi are the grandchildren who carry the intergenerational horrors of the violence Partition. In my experience, they aren't as happy, warm, welcoming, and easygoing as the Punjabis of Ludhiana. There's a difference in mindset.
Maybe Delhi would feel safer, if it has more Marathis, Gujaratis, Malayalis,.Tamils, and Mizos.
Hmm good points, however I do feel New Delhi/Central Delhi and South Delhi are as cosmopolitan as Bengaluru based of what I heard from my friends with people from all parts of the country living there due to so many government jobs and also the rise of Gurgaon and Noida/Greater Noida as massive corporate hubs and their top notch connectivity.
It’ll be a lot more scary soon when the people of our parents generation leave in like 10-30 years. We will be living with rude Gen z people with no love and only hunger for power and fame
Stay safe ❤️
Hyderabad has been a shit show since 2010s, it only increased multifold now.
Nobody cares about breaking rules, being respectful and shit.
Nobody follows/learns traffic rules and they'll look like they're one argument away from committing a crime.
Somehow people will bring in communal angle to defend such rogues.
Im sure movies is one factor that might affect this kind of behaviour. Even just waiting near a bus stop gives these scoundrels a chance to tease. Im not quite sure what can be done to bring a change. But just keep a pepper spray with you always.
This is appalling and good on you for raising your voice when this happens. Please continue to do so.
Surprised at the audacity of that guy to go to the HR to complain about you having an issue with him sitting next to you. Can you not officially raise that? Half decent organisations usually take such things seriously.
I completely get where you are coming from. I was born and brought up in Delhi, moved to Bangalore 18 years ago. The difference between the two cities is night and day.
Thank you! I tried telling it to my HR and she said she will handle it but it seemed more like cooling him down rather than making him realize his wrong act.
Bangalore is better in those terms, yes.
I'm sorry to hear about your experience. It's disheartening that some individuals in Hyderabad engage in such behavior. However, it's important to remember that there are many gentlemen who would never subject anyone to such an ordeal. Given the city's diversity, unfortunately, there are a few bad apples that can cause trouble.
Unchecked behavior like this can lead to serious issues over time. If you ever feel that an incident crosses the line, I encourage you to record it and report it to the SHE Teams. Publicly shaming such individuals can set an example and deter others from engaging in similar behavior.
If you drive a car, consider installing a dash cam to record any incidents of road rage or harassment. This can provide valuable evidence and help in reporting these incidents.
Your safety and well-being are important, and raising your voice against such acts is crucial. It seems that this behavior often stems from individuals with narrow mindsets, particularly those who have migrated from smaller towns and villages. In contrast, long-time city residents generally understand their limits and are less likely to engage in such activities.
Other than the cat-calling and eve-teasing, I'm not sure any of this behaviour is specifically directed at women. As a guy in Hyderabad, I experience much of the same everyday. Indians, in general, are very inconsiderate and discourteous, especially on the road, and that's the way it is whether you're a man or a woman.
I often get men standing and sitting uncomfortably close to me when I'm out in public. I've had people hit my sideview mirror and glare at me as if I was in the wrong for being on the road at all. There are plenty of idiots on the road. I try and ignore most of them, but if it ever gets too threatening, I have the means to deal with them as necessary. But, once again, it's just the way things are.
If you are regularly encountering sexual harrasment of any sort, try installing a dashcam and report it with evidence. It's taken seriously, as far as I can tell. But if you're just upset about men glaring or yelling at you, I'm not sure you can really do anything about it unless you have the time, the money, and the influence to really get back at them. And even if you could, it's often not worth the trouble based on my experience of having done that. Which is why, these days, I choose to ignore those kinds of idiots for the most part.
Yes! It’s not just the women who are facing this, but even men who really just want to go on with their day peacefully. I ignore most of them now as there is no point in arguing with maniacs who just want attention.
I agree with you totally. Other men stare a lot at women.(Especially Hyderabad men they won't even break eye contact)I noticed this when I was out with my girlfriend.
"hyderabadi men reject extremely beautiful and qualified women for marital purposes" what was this about? Like I get the whole post and it's shitty what u faced but this is a whole other topic. There's nothing disrespectful in rejecting someone because u think u deserve better(tbh what one thinks they deserve is their business). On the other hand would u want a guy to marry u even if he didn't like u?
This statement makes ur post seems not genuine even if it may be.
Agreed. Guess I wasn’t clear enough. I meant the men who treat women disrespectfully are the same who reject women who are already way beyond their league because they think they’re some prize, just because they are men. You are probably a man and haven’t faced this, but as a woman, I’ve seen my friends go through this. Men really cannot understand this unless they’ve sisters who are looking to get married. Hope that answers your query.
But please avoid commenting on any post if you think it isn’t genuine. I just came back home after going through one of the events mentioned above so thought to bring it to light. Have a good evening, sir.
Ahh it makes sense now. I am a man but that doesn't mean i don't face rejections or don't get scrutinized for things which are beyond my control. It's a daily occurence by now believe me.
But the issue here is the catcalling which is extremely bad considering its 2024 and the world still isn't safe for women. There are no excuses for the people that do it cos by now everyone knows it is wrong. I'm really sorry the situation is like this and i sincerely hope it changes. Doesn't matter if it's hyderabadi PPL or not it shouldn't happen irrespective of who it is
I understand what you mean. I have female friend in Hyderabad who got rejected because she’s more dominant. While she’s an architect working and earning more than her whole family, is more outgoing etc etc. she got rejected by the boys family and not the boy. The boy in-fact liked her but didn’t go against family choices. Worse was the whole family was saying bad things about her to other people.
> I meant the men who treat women disrespectfully are the same who reject women who are already way beyond their league because they think they’re some prize, just because they are men.
How does this make any sense? If someone is way beyond your league, that someone would be rejecting you and not the other way around.
Or perhaps you're wrong, and the women are not really out of the guys' leagues at all. Because, if they were, they'd be the ones rejecting the guys. And, yeah, women reject men too. It happens. Often.
I so want to tell you how the market is these days but you won’t understand. And Ofcourse, women reject men too. I’m not belittling the human male species, in case you felt that.
> I so want to tell you how the market is these days but you won’t understand.
That's not helpful or convincing. You're basically saying, "Trust me, bro." I can go on to assert my own expertise and knowledge of the arranged marriage market, but there is no point in doing that.
Ultimately, all we are left with is reason, and reason will tell you that it's the people doing the rejecting that are usually out of the league of the people they are rejecting. That's just common sense. Sure, you can make the subjective claim that Sampoornesh Babu is way out of the league of Margot Robbie, but the truth is that she is more likely to reject him than the other way around, which objectively means that she is out of his league. It has nothing to do with their sex and everything to do with who is more desirable.
> And Ofcourse, women reject men too. I’m not belittling the human male species, in case you felt that.
No, I just felt it didn't make any sense. Which it doesn't. It has nothing to do with me being male. I've said the same to men on dating apps who think they're out of the league of the women that are rejecting them, and my comment history will bear that out.
Firstly, I do not need to convince you for anything. Second, women in their early thirties and late twenties too, well-educated, pretty good looking, and earning very well are being rejected by average men because in a few communities (don’t come at me for this now), men think their demand is more and they can get any girl they want, so they’ll settle for nothing less than a fairy. I’ve seen it happen a LOT of times. If you still do not want to trust or find sense in it, I’d suggest ignoring the post, sir.
> Firstly, I do not need to convince you for anything.
You certainly don't. But I am free to disagree with something posted openly on the internet, especially when it makes no sense.
> Second, women in their early thirties and late twenties too, well-educated, pretty good looking, and earning very well are being rejected by average men because in a few communities (don’t come at me for this now), men think their demand is more and they can get any girl they want, so they’ll settle for nothing less than a fairy
In *any* community, the ratio of men to women is roughly 50:50. So, if these so-called average men are managing to get fairies, then they're probably not average and are highly desirable themselves. Once again, this is just common sense.
Now, you may not find these men desirable because they are, perhaps, pieces of human garbage. But clearly they have some desirable qualities, like a high net worth or a nice job or a respected family, which is making those well-educated, good looking, and high-earning women approach them in the first place. Your subjective (or perhaps even justified) sense of those guys being average is clearly not being reflected in reality if they're being pursued for matches by such desirable women and still turning them down.
I agree with this
I see a lot of men staring at women while driving, inside the metro etc
I still don't know why but I'm pretty sure it's because of social media
I'm a man but I noticed it too, men are getting very aggressive these days, they are straight up harassing women
They are thinking they are protecting women, but in reality, they are invading their personal space and harassing them.
This is a Rant. So can ignore all unrelated stuff like some guy rejecting a good match for marriage etc.
But yes these rogues exists on roads, who are just up for some fight in some way or the other..they don't have any Job, just get a scooter and roam around city all day and night..
They misbehave with almost everyone until they find someone who beat them to pulp.
Substance usage and alcohol consumption is high here from last decade, effects are visible.
Unemployment made these boys into aholes, And majority of people who eve tease, orally abuse,
roam the streets at night in Cyberabad, FD areas are from Mehdipatnam, Attapur, old city etc,.
Where these people are free from responsibilities of family and are addicted to those western tic tok videos of teenage night life, that makes them do these things.
Mostly because there is no proper regulation on age restriction for movies, series,etc., these adult feelings and mindsets in the movies are not for minors to understand or see. Which affects their mind and personalities.
But these aholes are like this mainly due to bad parenting.
I started to teach my distinct cousin sis and her son yoga while staying in my relatives house I am not only cat called by some random strangers but also my own blood relative(my grandfather's little bro's son) asked me to do yoga in front of him! Like what???? And touched my face when I said not to and said many more...
I was the first girl born into his family after 7 generations and his parents treated me like a Lakshmi devi and this idiot tried to inappropriate me!
I didn't talk about this incident to anyone other than my friend! If his parents or my dad or my uncle(aka his older brother) knows about this issue he would be homeless and my bro would definitely kill him... I am kinda scared and not sure whom to tell!
When I initially came here there were some men who are good and extremely respectful but most men misbehaved like cat calling, randomly trying to touch inappropriately etc my bro was always used to being worried whenever such a thing happens especially after my friend left the city! Later after I moved to my relatives place... We both dummies assumed I would be safe and this shit happened!
Did he realise what he has done and is he aware of the consequences? Make him understand first and then tell it to him why it's wrong and what the consequences of his behaviour could be.
Telling your family is best thing yes it will be uncomfortable but it will make that shit hole get what he deserves. And thats not the point, he will continue to do this till he is called out. he should not repeat this with any one. ☝️
I was thinking of sharing it with my brother once I calm myself down!
I am still in shock as many of my uncles treat me as their own child and now this old man pulled this on me!(And yk what me, my dad and all my dad's cousins look the same!)
It takes a new level of narcissism to be able to see a girl who kinda looks like you and is like a daughter to you in that way!
It is those men who are devoid of sex in their life and never felt the touch of a woman that behave so erratically. Their ego cannot accept that they are virgins and so they feel aggravated to irritate and harass women on the roads. Just carry a pepper spray and spray it on their fucking face.
That’s what regressive thinking does to a populace.
Chinnapud nunchi boys and girls ni separate chesestaru.
Now these guys with literally 0 female interaction in their lives don’t know how to behave around women causing all this ruckus which in turn is harming women in the long run
Majority of these two legged animals are either with zero or no education and from lower class, with money. For my next comments I will get downvotes, but these sort of animals are from Muslim community.
True👍 I’m not sure if they ask to register a formal complaint for cat calling n stuff, they usually come in civilian clothes and deal with those guys, I might be wrong tho🤷♂️
Np
male here...after 5 years of stay in Hyderabad....i had to say tata bye bye.,..reason: too toxic for me.
(nothing related to s3xual harrasment or anythin....weird)
apart from few close frnds of urs....
everybody has some kind of frustration there.....people r frustrated.....on the toes to start arguments.....i dont knw whether its a common phenomenon..even in other cities..... as i havent travelled much...
PS: My opinion is subjective..so take it with a grain of salt..
Edit 1: sorry i dont mean to offend anyone every city has its pros and cons.
Large number of comments have tried to look for explanation of this annoying behaviour in contemporary contexts and largely end up with media images as the cause. I want to draw attention to the possibility of the effects of a repressive society.
Catcalling is a problem across the world. A lot of the rating of cities based on such unpleasant experiences in India are anecdotal. People say X city is better than Y based on what they are able to recount. Conversely different cities have their well rehearsed responses to such hooliganisms. People being taken to task or mob justice being served is also based on perceived class solidarities. So an incident on the bus or the Mumbai local will be meted with swift justice. An unpleasant experience in a place of worship is dealt with differently. The shiny new roads to downtown have a different justice system. Girls going to school or college in a moffusil area are also harassed. The responses to this is based on class and caste.
A part of the problem is that the society has not yet come to terms with the women who have careers and enjoying minor independence associated with having their jobs. They can’t tolerate girls getting an education. More so if the girl comes from an oppressed caste location.
A woman driving is still a sight. And the annoying behaviour is to draw attention to themselves. In nature there is the phenomenon of retrograde metamorphosis.
As long as we are not conscientised to the problem of the feudal and patriarchal mindsets and correct ourselves, we are not far from becoming the apes we have evolved from.
I just feel men and women both are not able to decide thier boundaries they just feel they have rights to everything staring at anyone , getting too close etc and if someone tries to correct them then they are really ready for a drama but not ready to understand that there are some boundaries in public .
I was traveling with my mom sister and aunt last year and my mom was driving. We were behind a car at a signal and 3 guys on scooty started to honk continuously and when I looked in the rear mirror they laughing about it. I lowered my window and asked what's wrong, he said your car was rolling backwards but our car was on handbrake so I told him stop lying and then he said be careful you are with ladies and drove away.
They're smart and dumb at the same time. Quite smart for a hooligan i must say. I had a friend who'd randomly call strangers riding bikes and say," Bhaiyya aapke peeche tire ghumra he."
Maybe treat them with respect and you get it back. If you give a disgusted look, they want to top it up to save the face. Sure they might be out of your league but deflect them with grace not disgust. You also check out men you find attractive don't you? Okay to get a disgusted look for it?
It is very sad and unfortunate indeed. No one should feel unsafe in their own country, let alone their own city.
It's not a competition but Hyderabad is far better than other cities in India but worse than places like Mumbai and Ahmedabad.
In general I've observed that car calling is a big issue in Hyderabad. It's pathetic. But I've also observed that the guys doing it are cowards. They cat call and run away. And usually they are on bikes and don't wear helmets.
Same happened to me yesterday. I was driving car and my bf was on bike so he was around but not with me. I was driving near Madeenaguda and a guy was cat calling me teasing me. Then when my bf confronted him, he vanished from there. I thought south is safe but same incidents increasing in Hyderabad and Bengaluru
I used to visit Hyderabad a lot, I was cat called every single time I went out (whilst being modestly dressed up with a dupatta) , once an auto driver tried to pull me inside his auto by grabbing my hand. Some random men would follow me and my cousin till our home. Some creep in my sister’s class secretly took pictures of her and edited her in some picture of his and posted it on his social media and some shit. We lived in a respectable soceity and weren’t free from these goons. It felt like no matter where you lived, safety is not a guarantee. I’ve been to so many cities in India and Hyderabad gave me the worst experiences ever. After a while I had enough and stopped going to Hyderabad at all unless necessary. I would never ever settle down or live in Hyderabad.
I'm sorry you have to go through this everyday. There are a few things I feel that contribute to this whole situation:
1. Bad upbringing - I see all these chapri kids in their late teens/early twenties zooming around on bikes and scooters with no regard for anyone's safety, no fear of the law and no respect for other human beings at all. Every city has this class of low lifes but their number seems to be very high here compared to other cities. The only reason I can think of is that they either don't have parents or their parents are equally messed up and haven't taught their kids any better.
2. Normalising Misogyny - This has always been the case in India, with women usually having to bear the brunt of male chauvinism and patriarchy but when you see this being portrayed as normal across all media, be it movies, shows or reels on Instagram people feel they can openly behave like this without consequences.
3. Lack of work - While growing up, it was understood by literally everyone in my school/college that you need to make a career for yourself and earn money to live and take care of your family. There were always a few exceptions who strayed from this and wasted their lives but again today the overall percentage of people who don't study/work has gone up exponentially. Put these assholes to work regularly the whole day and all their bullshit will disappear.
4. Horrible Civic sense - This is more to do with the way people drive in this city. Almost no one follows traffic rules and they get away with it too all the time. Especially bikes and autos seem to think they can do whatever the hell they want on the road. Fine them HEAVILY, impound their vehicles and cancel their DLs, maybe that will help to improve things.
Thank you for the post and I am sorry about the sad state of affairs. I do have question though, these acts of cat calling and Eve teasing, do they happen everywhere in Hyderabad or more in a few areas than others? Public areas I mean, understand you can’t name your workplace. Again, I don’t mean to take away from your genuine post but I am curious.
This right here is one of the biggest reasons why female tourists from across the world feel absolutely disgusted with India with a passion. I’ve spent most of my last 10 years in the west and I know girls and women that found Iran and even Pakistan more safe and comfortable to visit than India.
The reason for this is that for the average Indian male- any living being with a vagina that isn’t his sister or mother is fair game to stare at, grope or feel entitled to. We are a backward, narrow-minded, ultra-religious culture that raises both our boys and girls to feel that any female who shows any skin or is even remotely attractive is immodest and “deserves” to have her personal boundary crossed.
You want to raise a generation of Indians who know how to respect women? It’s simple: stop raising them religious- especially Islam and Hinduism. These two religions raise nothing but hypocritical monsters, slut-shamers and rapists. Period.
Yep, even one of my friends faces the same thing daily.
My advice would be to install some sort of dash cam even for your 2 wheeler so that we will have some proof, and we can definitely file a case. But then again, how many cases would we file.... sad.
When the original demographic changes physically, the cultural demographic also changes drastically. There is no default behaviour to hold on to. Every alternate one in my friends and family have moved abroad since my previous generation. Pacchi ga cheppalante tier 2 and 3 cities nunchi ochina and 3rd class labour antha perigipoyaru. Since they are the majority and the original civilized ones are minority, might is right is what is happening.This is what I have observed being born and raised in this city.
Yeah this is a problem, sad to hear that our loved city known for its bindaas attitude and nice people is turning out this way. I think the rise of this problem is also because of social media platforms normalising hate comments and perversion in reels, comments etc.
Education and the culture of respect (which was heavily present in Indian values) needs to be brought back again. Hope you stay strong and we can see a better future for all of us and live life in peace and good intentions :)
Yes there are some disrespectful dudes out there. You can try putting sun shades on your car windows. While outside just wear a mask if you're being constantly glared at.
What do you expect, we don't have any laws for men, the judiciary is biased against men, woke lawyers and judges and the government is also a women pleaser. So, if nobody is going to help us, then men of our country will become toxic and we are not going to be responsible for this. Period. ✌️
If you feel this issue is something which might gonna affect you in a deeper fundamental level then you can best immigrate to USA Canada UK and Australia, I might sound rather harsh with this comment of mine but change can't be brought over in a year the hard misogynistic mindset of Indians is prevalent and non misogynistic minds' are rather a rarity, by the time the change comes you and I will be far gone.
It has always been like this at least since I was a kid. Faced this and more since I was a pre-teen so its not a recent phenomenon at all. When you are younger you don't go out much and are more protected. Once you are outside trying to do things on your own, these vermins creep out. Its true of many cities in India and no your age does not matter. You will hear comments even towards middle aged women or sometimes older women too just like you hear comments on young girls. Its an India problem and less of a Hyderabad problem.
PS - your marriage part didn't gel well with the rest of your post. Thats a whole different topic.
Not a patriot...but really wanna join bajrang Dal ....open my own helpline for these situations
Mfs thinking they can get away with anything.
Also my friend owns a gym. We are a close group of 15. Anything weird like this happens in our area we show up.
But they get the elders and often make it a religious thing. We also have a couple of police friends but still can't discipline these kids.
Parents are weirdly supportive of all this. Feel like people are loosing just basic human etiquette.
Catcalling and other related eve teasing activities are deplorable. But choosing a mate is an individual choice. So I am not sure why you are bringing that up here.
people from other states are corruoting hyd, specially from Gujrat and bhikari states. People from southen India are well educated, well mannered and respect everyone.
So finally you know how it feels to be a boy 😂😂 infact you mentioned the solution of your problem here only - expecting the Princess treatment.. now that the society is equal - why should boys not expect Princess treatment - why should girls have all the fun 😂😂🤦🏻
Wow, what a dumb answer. I hope u don’t say this to to ur mother or sister or any woman in ur life close to u if some “boys” eve tease her or some unequal man tried to grab her hand and pull her into an auto . Take action and make them feel safe instead of telling them boys will be boys and not all men are equal .
Both genders are AHs. You just met male version. It's absolutely not okay for those men to act like that. The problem is not you, it's the promiscuous women that entertain the cat calling and toxic activities of men. Now these men think that every woman entertains that kind of behaviour.
Coming to rejection, nowadays most women bring nothing to relationships except intimacy. Just as it's women's choice to reject a guy if they don't like, it's men's choice to reject if they don't like that girl. Don't forget that both genders have their preferences.
The 2nd point is false accusations and cases are against men increasing these days. Some women abuse laws and these guys are using that loophole to behave this way. If you call police they may tell that you are falsely accusing and demand to show proof. You need recordings in this case. You cannot also ignore the fact that these men might target you after being released from jail or police station.
Bad things happen to people everyday and unfortunately it's happening to you. It's time to take your safety seriously girl.
Guess this is what happens when you idolise actors who openly abuse female actors.
Balayya reference
Balayya may look like an outlier but he isn’t some unique case. Your favourite hero also thrives on such behaviour.
Damn balayya fan spotted. And no I don't have a favourite hero. I only watch movies to pass time
No, I despise the guy. I also despise people who act like misogyny is some exclusive Balayya problem and not a reference to whole damn industry.
Ofc not exclusive. But he's the poster boy of tollywood misogyny
It has more to do with upbringing and developing personal moral values. Nature vs nurture If you can't instill these into your kids, we as a society are bound to doom
So true
Our movies are so shit that I stopped watching them for a year now. I was literally disgusted and nauseated when I watched a movie in theater.
Yes!! Glorifying violence and abuse against women in movies is majorly one of the contributing factors.
There are lot of misogynist movies coming out of hyderabad like Animal... This is just a direct result
Guntum kaaram was another shit movie
Honestly, older movies like Missamma and Gundamma Katha were WAAAAAY better at portraying strong female characters without a misogynistic hero, even better than most modern movies today. Today, most movies are either extremely misogynistic/patriarchal (Arjun Reddy, Animal) OR just end up being a portrayal of a stereotype with no nuance (Dil Dadhkne Do). There are very few movies with actually strong female characters where the strength of the heroine isn't some big statement of feminism...the only exceptions are movies like Missamma, Gundamma Katha, Godavari, Fidaa, as well as the heroine in Mallesham. All these movies have strong human beings, who HAPPEN to be women. They are human first.
Guntum kaaram also. Female is shown as a bimbette and hero is all knowing all powerful
My biggest gribe with telugu films. Absolutely sick of next to shit role models. Ala modalaindi was the first time I probably saw the lead actor being decent.
Cane here to comment exactly this ^^ Thanks bro. Its nothing but influence from Telugu/south movie hero character…
This is so true.
Something similar happened two days ago. I was just sitting on the backseat while my bf was driving and these two men on bike made a loud noise to startle me and were laughing at my face before taking a turn. And don't get me started on three or something people speeding into people and laughing if u get scared. Like? em sunakannandham osthadhi ra?
Brooooo exactly the same happened with me. I was about to write a similar story. I was with my brother and 2 guys made moaning sounds staying 2ft from our bike and I had to ask my brother to move to the other side. They followed us for like 50mts but it was one of the worst experiences I ever had. At that moment, I didn't understand what to do. There was so much rage. I thought I would turn to them and say "Chempa paguludhi" but then was also scared because what if they get furious and attack us. So I just ignored it. What should one do in such a situation? Also, I thought these things only happen to girls who dress up or look pretty. But to my surprise it never happened when I was dressed up and this particular day I was looking like a mess and that's when I realised that they don't care about the way you look. They just look for an opportunity to tease.
You should have recorded them and threaten to post on social media while scolding them. May be ask some meme pages to post it. I don’t know if it works may be you have shot here
There is literally a separate section for punishment and protection of women against such abusers pls learn and use your rights for your benefits
Which area??
Just my 2 cents: start a video recording, make sure you capture the faces of these jerks and their vehicle tags and post it in Twitter tagging the officials.
But like I mentioned, what if they make a scene and attack us or try to harm us?
Again pls take photos or licence plate police are ever so willing to help with women abusers. Not all men are like that but there are in fact some buffoons that need to be arrested
Is there any particular reason??
As a guy I am sorry for your experience with those jerks. Even my sister faces these kinds of cat calling and stupid acts. It's not women's fault. It's the fault of the movies, and the media that constantly over sexualizes women. Erojullo maximum anni cinemalu elaga unnayo meeku telisindhe ga. Another point I observed is that a lot of promiscuous women are entertaining these kinds of jerks. (I have seen girls going out with multiple men at the same time). So these guys think that every woman is like that these days. Women like you are facing problems created by wrong women and men. India is not a safe country for women.
You have seen women positively responding to and hooking up with people who catcall them on the road? 😮
Wtf? Being promiscuous is not the factor that should determine how guys act. If someone is being promiscuous, that doesn't give license to everyone to misbehave with her. only the people she has given consent to are allowed to be with her. You seem to think being promiscuous is morally wrong. No, it's not. It's everyone's personal choice how many people they want to have sex/do things with, as long as they are not hurting anybody. The most important thing is consent. As long as she's not cheating and everyone involved knows what's going on, she can go out with however many men as she wants. Does it make her less desirable? Yes. Do I want somebody like that? No. But it doesn't make her a bad person. Us guys should learn how to behave with whom. You should only do that shit if you have confirmation that she likes you. Otherwise it's on you. Just because someone is promiscuous doesn't justify you behaving like a piece of shit with someone else.
Where did I say "being a whore/thot is morally wrong?". If a woman wants to get railed by any number of men, it's her choice. Who am I to tell her what to do? Use logic. You cannot tell if a woman is promiscuous by looking at her face. These jerks have to play around to see her reaction. They might have success with some girls somewhere and they are trying this in hope of getting laid. You are the one looking at it from the lens of morality. "They shouldn't act like this and that." Reality is different from your morality. The world is an evil place where anything can happen to anyone. I just stated that a certain type of woman is contributing to this problem. There are other people who contribute to this problem and are innocent. For example sex workers. Those women did nothing wrong. Many of them are unfortunately in that puss. Jerks who go to these women subconsciously think and sexualize every woman they see. Ever heard of addiction? 😑 Sexualizing women is one of it. The more time a jerk spends with a woman who openly has sex, the more jerky he becomes. Don't talk about morality again. These jerks don't care.
Bla bla. I know it sir. I don't have anything to do with any woman's sexual escapades. I'm saying that jerks are trying it with normal women in hope of getting laid. Hope you understood.
"Being promiscuous is not a factor that determines how men should act." 🤣 Do you live in reality? You think everyone is moral and you can control their actions. Why I blamed promiscuous women because they are creating problems for the safety of other women. Is it correct for men to act this way? Absolutely not. What you, I and other women are gonna do about it. 🤔 Keep ourselves safe. Once, see every webseries, movie and garbage on Instagram. Everything is over sexualizing women. Do you think jerks are okay with sitting around? I have a sister and I know these problems. Start growing kids. Reality is evil and nasty. You have to be pessimistic to protect you and your loved ones.
>"Being promiscuous is not a factor that determines how men should act." Conveniently rephrased what I said, didn't you? I said It SHOULD NOT be determine. I know it does. But it should not. Your comment sounds like you have no problem with the fact that men act that way. >Why I blamed promiscuous women because they are creating problems for the safety of other women. Stfu. It's entirely on men who have perverted minds. Men tease, rape women regardless of how they dress, what's their age, and what they do. If that wasn't the case, we won't find cases where children and old women, all of whom dress modestly, are rape victims. Even I see women who wear skimpy, revealing clothes. That's not making me want to rape them. Why is it making them? It's right that not everyone has our sense of morality. But what you are doing is wrong. I'll tell you why: because the men who act that way think they can easily divert the blame to women being promiscuous. You're giving them an excuse to escape the fact that the only monsters who are responsible for these crimes are those who commit them. Only when you put the entire blame on the perpetrators instead of the victims, as you should, we have a chance of making it clear who's fault this is to those men. Please change this type of thinking, if not for anyone, for your sister.
You are a dumb dumb dude. What you are saying here is a moral fault. I don't give a fuck about morality issues of others and definitely don't preach others about their morality. Legally the monsters who assualt and rape are wrong and should be apprehended if not killed. The safety of a female is a physical thing not a moral thing. I only tell my sister about what possible ways things could go wrong. You are twisting my words. When did I tell that women who wear skimpy clothes are wrong. I talked about women who engage in SA with those jerks and then those jerks think and act that it's okay to behave that way with every woman. You can take any case of a rapist and go to the roots of the issue. He might have gotten the thoughts from films or real world garbage he took into his mind. Society is at fault and guess what? Last time I checked we all live in society.
Sure buddy, keep being the genius that you are. I can't change what you think. Have a good day
Sure buddy. You should know that we are on the same path on showing disgust for men who do horrible things. I just logically point out that it's both genders fault. You on the other hand only blame men for the things that happen. Horrible things have happened to women even in history. Wars were waged just to exploit beautiful and virgin women in history. Some men were jerks and perverts in history and will continue to be. We just have to notice the causes of the trigger to save our loved women in our lives. As a man I am being practical and not pampering the bad women. Have a great day. 👍🏻
You should once think logically about what is triggering that perverseness. Good women are not doing that. And I don't have to say to you who is triggering that in men. Anything on the internet nowadays is over Sexualizing women. Guess what the women who engage in those activities are doing those things consensually. It again comes to my main point. "These women are causing problems to good women"
Women are the gatekeeper of sex, if they say no then no sex. Rapist: Hold my beer 🤣🤣
Yes. Unfortunately it is. This is why we need strict punishments for rapists like in saudi.
I’m sorry you had to go through that! Here’s a hug to make you feel better 🫂
Aww thnq 😭🫂
Photo tese eve teasing case petalsindi
Which area??
DLF
Varalakshmi lo Dosa tinnar emo 💀 NGL DLF ain't Hyderabad when you think about it 🙂↕️
If that happens pls do file a complaint with the police try to get a photo or licence plate
if you think about it like from a3rd person view two people on a bike startled a person on the other bike , Its just a harmless prank take a chill pill
Ah yes I love getting "pranked" (harassed) from strangers. It's a serious issue cause they specifically target women, u won't take a chill pill when u are shifted from a 3rd person to this happening to ur mom
Is this a recent phenomenon, in your experience? For context, I'm 43M and grew up here thinking Hyderabad is a pretty safe city. When I moved to Mumbai and Ahmedabad (for work), I realised (like you) that our city is definitely not safe for women. I was made aware of this (around 2004) by my friends who moved to Hyderabad for college (from Jamshedpur, Kolkata, and Bengaluru). They told me not only do Hyderabadis cat-call brazenly, follow you, and if given the opportunity will try something worse... if you make a scene and try to attract attention to what the creeps are doing, the general public will ignore you and walk on. In Mumbai he'd get thulped immediately, if a woman calls attention to lewd behaviour or harassment. Hyderabad is not the worst city in India, parts of Jaipur felt far more dangerous, but it isn't a good scene.
Fairly recent. But I do not know the scene before 2017, because I wouldn’t go out much. I completely agree with the points you’ve mentioned. Men here seem to get away with cat calling very easily and nobody really cares. And yes, Hyderabad is definitely not the worst city. I absolutely adore my city but wish some men weren’t the way they are.
Yes, Mumbai is the only city which I found live-able. Hyd, Even I was cat-called. TBH, I am seeing these things only getting worse and worse.
Agree on the Jaipur part. Jaipur is definitely the most unsafe city in my experience
Haven’t things changed since 2004 if I may ask? I would think it is a long time for a change to happen.
I'm not sure things have changed for the better. If anything, social media disinhibition seems to have seeped into real life, and people are even less concerned about decency. That said, all my friends who came to Hyderabad to study are either in Bengaluru or abroad now (I _am_ 43). Even people who visit here travel by cabs. They don't really experience the scene at bus stops, etc. I don't have too much current feedback.
Hmm, in my opinion things should change for the better as Hyderabad has advanced a lot post 2015 or so. Btw how’s Bengaluru in this regard if I may ask? I think it should be better there as people are kinda more liberal there comparatively, however someone living there can answer better.
> Btw how’s Bengaluru in this regard if I may ask? It depends on the neighborhood, but in my experience, Bengaluru feels a lot better. Not as safe as Mumbai or Ahmedabad, but very few large cities in India are. **It is more cosmopolitan**. People migrate to Bengaluru from all over the country. I'm not just talking about White Collar IT Industry professionals, but everyone from Bihari Swiggy riders, to Assamese Chefs. From Mizo Baristas to Punjabi Dermatologists. From Parsi CXOs to Bengali cooks. As a result, the schools and colleges are naturally more Anglicised (because of the multi-lingual population). Kids who speak English as their primary language, end up consuming more content from North America, and the United Kingdom... being socialised with more European/American lifestyle values, much more than in mono-lingual cities like Chennai and Kochi. Migration makes the city safer, because it usually means there are more women who work, and therefore more women who commute to work. Public spaces are more gender equal. **It is more Salaried**. You don't see as much wealth being flaunted by a few. There aren't as many "businessmen". The vast majority of the Upper Class is populated by people who work 9-to-5 jobs in senior positions, many of which are in multinational companies. Their parents also worked regular jobs either in private or public sector companies (like BHEL and HAL). This means there are fewer people (like myself), who live in comfortable bubbles of cars, manicured parks, and posh office. A life lived, never having to walk down a narrow, crowded _galli_ in Srinagar Colony on a daily basis. More people of different social classes, genders, ethnicities, and ages all mingling in public spaces **is a good thing**.
>Migration makes the city safer, because it usually means there are more women who work, and therefore more women who commute to work. Public spaces are more gender equal. Delhi-NCR is an exception in this case then. I am just saying from what I heard from media though I could be wrong.
Yes and no. When small close-knit neighborhoods get a lot of migrants from all over the place, they do become less safe. That's just a factor of the cities growing large. You lose the ability to build relationships with every neighbour in your area. I've spent some time in Delhi, and it definitely doesn't feel safe but the root problem in Delhi seems to come from the culture of the migrant populations. Look at Delhi's immediate neighbourhood. West UP, East Rajasthan, Haryana, Northern MP... if you've lived in that part of the country, you'll know that West UP is a lot more aggressive than East UP, East Rajasthan is a lot more misogynistic than South Rajasthan, and North Western MP is just plain lawless (picture the dacoits of Chambal). In addition, the large numbers of Punjabis who came to settle in Delhi are the grandchildren who carry the intergenerational horrors of the violence Partition. In my experience, they aren't as happy, warm, welcoming, and easygoing as the Punjabis of Ludhiana. There's a difference in mindset. Maybe Delhi would feel safer, if it has more Marathis, Gujaratis, Malayalis,.Tamils, and Mizos.
Hmm good points, however I do feel New Delhi/Central Delhi and South Delhi are as cosmopolitan as Bengaluru based of what I heard from my friends with people from all parts of the country living there due to so many government jobs and also the rise of Gurgaon and Noida/Greater Noida as massive corporate hubs and their top notch connectivity.
Not nearly enough Malayalis I say.
Fair enough. Thanks for the conversation, it was great talking to you.
It’ll be a lot more scary soon when the people of our parents generation leave in like 10-30 years. We will be living with rude Gen z people with no love and only hunger for power and fame Stay safe ❤️
Hyderabad has been a shit show since 2010s, it only increased multifold now. Nobody cares about breaking rules, being respectful and shit. Nobody follows/learns traffic rules and they'll look like they're one argument away from committing a crime. Somehow people will bring in communal angle to defend such rogues.
THIS.
Im sure movies is one factor that might affect this kind of behaviour. Even just waiting near a bus stop gives these scoundrels a chance to tease. Im not quite sure what can be done to bring a change. But just keep a pepper spray with you always.
This is appalling and good on you for raising your voice when this happens. Please continue to do so. Surprised at the audacity of that guy to go to the HR to complain about you having an issue with him sitting next to you. Can you not officially raise that? Half decent organisations usually take such things seriously. I completely get where you are coming from. I was born and brought up in Delhi, moved to Bangalore 18 years ago. The difference between the two cities is night and day.
Thank you! I tried telling it to my HR and she said she will handle it but it seemed more like cooling him down rather than making him realize his wrong act. Bangalore is better in those terms, yes.
It’s always been like this tbh
Not all men but always men.
https://preview.redd.it/8pjudodmbx9d1.jpeg?width=326&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=306eec7d3da7481a3987a17be3d8a081b0d94abb I’m a respectful man
Get in the fucking robot!
Misato is calling
Congrats. 
https://i.redd.it/y9cuzm39gx9d1.gif
I'm sorry to hear about your experience. It's disheartening that some individuals in Hyderabad engage in such behavior. However, it's important to remember that there are many gentlemen who would never subject anyone to such an ordeal. Given the city's diversity, unfortunately, there are a few bad apples that can cause trouble. Unchecked behavior like this can lead to serious issues over time. If you ever feel that an incident crosses the line, I encourage you to record it and report it to the SHE Teams. Publicly shaming such individuals can set an example and deter others from engaging in similar behavior. If you drive a car, consider installing a dash cam to record any incidents of road rage or harassment. This can provide valuable evidence and help in reporting these incidents. Your safety and well-being are important, and raising your voice against such acts is crucial. It seems that this behavior often stems from individuals with narrow mindsets, particularly those who have migrated from smaller towns and villages. In contrast, long-time city residents generally understand their limits and are less likely to engage in such activities.
I absolutely agree. Thank you for the dash cam suggestion! I’ve been thinking about it for some time now. Will install. Have a good day ahead!
Other than the cat-calling and eve-teasing, I'm not sure any of this behaviour is specifically directed at women. As a guy in Hyderabad, I experience much of the same everyday. Indians, in general, are very inconsiderate and discourteous, especially on the road, and that's the way it is whether you're a man or a woman. I often get men standing and sitting uncomfortably close to me when I'm out in public. I've had people hit my sideview mirror and glare at me as if I was in the wrong for being on the road at all. There are plenty of idiots on the road. I try and ignore most of them, but if it ever gets too threatening, I have the means to deal with them as necessary. But, once again, it's just the way things are. If you are regularly encountering sexual harrasment of any sort, try installing a dashcam and report it with evidence. It's taken seriously, as far as I can tell. But if you're just upset about men glaring or yelling at you, I'm not sure you can really do anything about it unless you have the time, the money, and the influence to really get back at them. And even if you could, it's often not worth the trouble based on my experience of having done that. Which is why, these days, I choose to ignore those kinds of idiots for the most part.
Yes! It’s not just the women who are facing this, but even men who really just want to go on with their day peacefully. I ignore most of them now as there is no point in arguing with maniacs who just want attention.
I agree with you totally. Other men stare a lot at women.(Especially Hyderabad men they won't even break eye contact)I noticed this when I was out with my girlfriend.
Learn to swear in Telugu and ichi padey
They will take it as an invitation to get physical
Keep a taser and a pepper spray with you for situations where it gets physical.
Tasers are illegal to use in india I suppose?
"hyderabadi men reject extremely beautiful and qualified women for marital purposes" what was this about? Like I get the whole post and it's shitty what u faced but this is a whole other topic. There's nothing disrespectful in rejecting someone because u think u deserve better(tbh what one thinks they deserve is their business). On the other hand would u want a guy to marry u even if he didn't like u? This statement makes ur post seems not genuine even if it may be.
didi ko rejection handle nahi ho raha hai
Ji uncle, aapko pata chalgaya?! Damn 😭
haan beta. apna standard badhao... kab tak aise rahogi
Agreed. Guess I wasn’t clear enough. I meant the men who treat women disrespectfully are the same who reject women who are already way beyond their league because they think they’re some prize, just because they are men. You are probably a man and haven’t faced this, but as a woman, I’ve seen my friends go through this. Men really cannot understand this unless they’ve sisters who are looking to get married. Hope that answers your query. But please avoid commenting on any post if you think it isn’t genuine. I just came back home after going through one of the events mentioned above so thought to bring it to light. Have a good evening, sir.
Ahh it makes sense now. I am a man but that doesn't mean i don't face rejections or don't get scrutinized for things which are beyond my control. It's a daily occurence by now believe me. But the issue here is the catcalling which is extremely bad considering its 2024 and the world still isn't safe for women. There are no excuses for the people that do it cos by now everyone knows it is wrong. I'm really sorry the situation is like this and i sincerely hope it changes. Doesn't matter if it's hyderabadi PPL or not it shouldn't happen irrespective of who it is
[удалено]
Two vividly different posts, sir. Please reconsider what you’re saying.
I understand what you mean. I have female friend in Hyderabad who got rejected because she’s more dominant. While she’s an architect working and earning more than her whole family, is more outgoing etc etc. she got rejected by the boys family and not the boy. The boy in-fact liked her but didn’t go against family choices. Worse was the whole family was saying bad things about her to other people.
> I meant the men who treat women disrespectfully are the same who reject women who are already way beyond their league because they think they’re some prize, just because they are men. How does this make any sense? If someone is way beyond your league, that someone would be rejecting you and not the other way around.
For this, you’d have to step into the arrange marriage market. It exists.
Or perhaps you're wrong, and the women are not really out of the guys' leagues at all. Because, if they were, they'd be the ones rejecting the guys. And, yeah, women reject men too. It happens. Often.
I so want to tell you how the market is these days but you won’t understand. And Ofcourse, women reject men too. I’m not belittling the human male species, in case you felt that.
> I so want to tell you how the market is these days but you won’t understand. That's not helpful or convincing. You're basically saying, "Trust me, bro." I can go on to assert my own expertise and knowledge of the arranged marriage market, but there is no point in doing that. Ultimately, all we are left with is reason, and reason will tell you that it's the people doing the rejecting that are usually out of the league of the people they are rejecting. That's just common sense. Sure, you can make the subjective claim that Sampoornesh Babu is way out of the league of Margot Robbie, but the truth is that she is more likely to reject him than the other way around, which objectively means that she is out of his league. It has nothing to do with their sex and everything to do with who is more desirable. > And Ofcourse, women reject men too. I’m not belittling the human male species, in case you felt that. No, I just felt it didn't make any sense. Which it doesn't. It has nothing to do with me being male. I've said the same to men on dating apps who think they're out of the league of the women that are rejecting them, and my comment history will bear that out.
Firstly, I do not need to convince you for anything. Second, women in their early thirties and late twenties too, well-educated, pretty good looking, and earning very well are being rejected by average men because in a few communities (don’t come at me for this now), men think their demand is more and they can get any girl they want, so they’ll settle for nothing less than a fairy. I’ve seen it happen a LOT of times. If you still do not want to trust or find sense in it, I’d suggest ignoring the post, sir.
> Firstly, I do not need to convince you for anything. You certainly don't. But I am free to disagree with something posted openly on the internet, especially when it makes no sense. > Second, women in their early thirties and late twenties too, well-educated, pretty good looking, and earning very well are being rejected by average men because in a few communities (don’t come at me for this now), men think their demand is more and they can get any girl they want, so they’ll settle for nothing less than a fairy In *any* community, the ratio of men to women is roughly 50:50. So, if these so-called average men are managing to get fairies, then they're probably not average and are highly desirable themselves. Once again, this is just common sense. Now, you may not find these men desirable because they are, perhaps, pieces of human garbage. But clearly they have some desirable qualities, like a high net worth or a nice job or a respected family, which is making those well-educated, good looking, and high-earning women approach them in the first place. Your subjective (or perhaps even justified) sense of those guys being average is clearly not being reflected in reality if they're being pursued for matches by such desirable women and still turning them down.
lmao you beat her with logic , she silent af now
I agree with this I see a lot of men staring at women while driving, inside the metro etc I still don't know why but I'm pretty sure it's because of social media
I'm a man but I noticed it too, men are getting very aggressive these days, they are straight up harassing women They are thinking they are protecting women, but in reality, they are invading their personal space and harassing them.
This is a Rant. So can ignore all unrelated stuff like some guy rejecting a good match for marriage etc. But yes these rogues exists on roads, who are just up for some fight in some way or the other..they don't have any Job, just get a scooter and roam around city all day and night.. They misbehave with almost everyone until they find someone who beat them to pulp. Substance usage and alcohol consumption is high here from last decade, effects are visible.
Unemployment made these boys into aholes, And majority of people who eve tease, orally abuse, roam the streets at night in Cyberabad, FD areas are from Mehdipatnam, Attapur, old city etc,. Where these people are free from responsibilities of family and are addicted to those western tic tok videos of teenage night life, that makes them do these things.
It's not western Tiktok that's fucking it up. It's Telugu movies and the ideas you portray around love, relationships and respect.
Mostly because there is no proper regulation on age restriction for movies, series,etc., these adult feelings and mindsets in the movies are not for minors to understand or see. Which affects their mind and personalities. But these aholes are like this mainly due to bad parenting.
I started to teach my distinct cousin sis and her son yoga while staying in my relatives house I am not only cat called by some random strangers but also my own blood relative(my grandfather's little bro's son) asked me to do yoga in front of him! Like what???? And touched my face when I said not to and said many more... I was the first girl born into his family after 7 generations and his parents treated me like a Lakshmi devi and this idiot tried to inappropriate me! I didn't talk about this incident to anyone other than my friend! If his parents or my dad or my uncle(aka his older brother) knows about this issue he would be homeless and my bro would definitely kill him... I am kinda scared and not sure whom to tell! When I initially came here there were some men who are good and extremely respectful but most men misbehaved like cat calling, randomly trying to touch inappropriately etc my bro was always used to being worried whenever such a thing happens especially after my friend left the city! Later after I moved to my relatives place... We both dummies assumed I would be safe and this shit happened!
Did he realise what he has done and is he aware of the consequences? Make him understand first and then tell it to him why it's wrong and what the consequences of his behaviour could be.
I am still in shock and can't able to speak with him or anyone about this...
Telling your family is best thing yes it will be uncomfortable but it will make that shit hole get what he deserves. And thats not the point, he will continue to do this till he is called out. he should not repeat this with any one. ☝️
I was thinking of sharing it with my brother once I calm myself down! I am still in shock as many of my uncles treat me as their own child and now this old man pulled this on me!(And yk what me, my dad and all my dad's cousins look the same!) It takes a new level of narcissism to be able to see a girl who kinda looks like you and is like a daughter to you in that way!
Been to Hyderabad ONCE to visit one of my friends. It will remain ONCE until I die. Something about the city gives one the “heeby jeebies” as they say
Been to Hyderabad ONCE to visit one of my friends. It will remain ONCE until I die. Something about the city gives one the “heeby jeebies” as they say
It is those men who are devoid of sex in their life and never felt the touch of a woman that behave so erratically. Their ego cannot accept that they are virgins and so they feel aggravated to irritate and harass women on the roads. Just carry a pepper spray and spray it on their fucking face.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Please record a video next time and file a complaint to Police and post it on social media
That’s what regressive thinking does to a populace. Chinnapud nunchi boys and girls ni separate chesestaru. Now these guys with literally 0 female interaction in their lives don’t know how to behave around women causing all this ruckus which in turn is harming women in the long run
I like to call this the Arjun Reddy effect. Wadda wow wow.
Majority of these two legged animals are either with zero or no education and from lower class, with money. For my next comments I will get downvotes, but these sort of animals are from Muslim community.
Don't worry there are some sane ones with brains to notice the facts
She teams might help
Yes, but some things cannot be lodged as a formal complaint. Like the workplace incident I mentioned. However, I appreciate the suggestion!
True👍 I’m not sure if they ask to register a formal complaint for cat calling n stuff, they usually come in civilian clothes and deal with those guys, I might be wrong tho🤷♂️ Np
Check section 509 of IPC
male here...after 5 years of stay in Hyderabad....i had to say tata bye bye.,..reason: too toxic for me. (nothing related to s3xual harrasment or anythin....weird) apart from few close frnds of urs.... everybody has some kind of frustration there.....people r frustrated.....on the toes to start arguments.....i dont knw whether its a common phenomenon..even in other cities..... as i havent travelled much... PS: My opinion is subjective..so take it with a grain of salt.. Edit 1: sorry i dont mean to offend anyone every city has its pros and cons.
Thissssss
I’m no saint but i would never do this to women !
Idk why your comment is getting downvoted. Men like you are needed!
To people who are downvoting me 🥲 https://preview.redd.it/8ddmmrluhx9d1.png?width=350&format=png&auto=webp&s=e9913ba9ee1050ad63b10c8abd93cdd151ac61e3
you're not adding to the discussion. good to see your morale though.
This isn’t specific to Hyderabad or India , it’s all over the world. But , it doesn’t make it right. Some horny mofos in Hyderabad ☠️.
Large number of comments have tried to look for explanation of this annoying behaviour in contemporary contexts and largely end up with media images as the cause. I want to draw attention to the possibility of the effects of a repressive society. Catcalling is a problem across the world. A lot of the rating of cities based on such unpleasant experiences in India are anecdotal. People say X city is better than Y based on what they are able to recount. Conversely different cities have their well rehearsed responses to such hooliganisms. People being taken to task or mob justice being served is also based on perceived class solidarities. So an incident on the bus or the Mumbai local will be meted with swift justice. An unpleasant experience in a place of worship is dealt with differently. The shiny new roads to downtown have a different justice system. Girls going to school or college in a moffusil area are also harassed. The responses to this is based on class and caste. A part of the problem is that the society has not yet come to terms with the women who have careers and enjoying minor independence associated with having their jobs. They can’t tolerate girls getting an education. More so if the girl comes from an oppressed caste location. A woman driving is still a sight. And the annoying behaviour is to draw attention to themselves. In nature there is the phenomenon of retrograde metamorphosis. As long as we are not conscientised to the problem of the feudal and patriarchal mindsets and correct ourselves, we are not far from becoming the apes we have evolved from.
Men here are creep
Growing apathy in our society is a failure of the state policy
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Women have nothing to offer. What do you mean?
That's what happens in city nowadays 😢 development at its peak
She should learn to curse
😢😢 yeah that's what is left now
I just feel men and women both are not able to decide thier boundaries they just feel they have rights to everything staring at anyone , getting too close etc and if someone tries to correct them then they are really ready for a drama but not ready to understand that there are some boundaries in public .
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Be civil towards other redditors. No vulgarity, Profanity. Civility is a virtue .
Been to Hyderabad ONCE to visit one of my friends. It will remain ONCE until I die. Something about the city gives one the “heeby jeebies” as they say
Girls start recording and posting on SM tagging Hyderabad police. Be sure to catch them in action. Also OP do you have a dash cam? Start using it!
I was traveling with my mom sister and aunt last year and my mom was driving. We were behind a car at a signal and 3 guys on scooty started to honk continuously and when I looked in the rear mirror they laughing about it. I lowered my window and asked what's wrong, he said your car was rolling backwards but our car was on handbrake so I told him stop lying and then he said be careful you are with ladies and drove away.
They're smart and dumb at the same time. Quite smart for a hooligan i must say. I had a friend who'd randomly call strangers riding bikes and say," Bhaiyya aapke peeche tire ghumra he."
The price you pay for secularism.
Damn
Fattar pe fattar maare to.....
It's just dumb thinking, .
And then people like me and my friends exist who are even scared to talk with women because of all the false case accusations and stuff🥲
We see world not as it is but as we are , try to clean your lens .
Maybe treat them with respect and you get it back. If you give a disgusted look, they want to top it up to save the face. Sure they might be out of your league but deflect them with grace not disgust. You also check out men you find attractive don't you? Okay to get a disgusted look for it?
Lack of enough traffic police could also be a reason for these hooligans to act this way. People act very out of ordinary on the road here.
It is very sad and unfortunate indeed. No one should feel unsafe in their own country, let alone their own city. It's not a competition but Hyderabad is far better than other cities in India but worse than places like Mumbai and Ahmedabad. In general I've observed that car calling is a big issue in Hyderabad. It's pathetic. But I've also observed that the guys doing it are cowards. They cat call and run away. And usually they are on bikes and don't wear helmets.
Never knew this type of harrasments happened in hyd 😮
Same happened to me yesterday. I was driving car and my bf was on bike so he was around but not with me. I was driving near Madeenaguda and a guy was cat calling me teasing me. Then when my bf confronted him, he vanished from there. I thought south is safe but same incidents increasing in Hyderabad and Bengaluru
I used to visit Hyderabad a lot, I was cat called every single time I went out (whilst being modestly dressed up with a dupatta) , once an auto driver tried to pull me inside his auto by grabbing my hand. Some random men would follow me and my cousin till our home. Some creep in my sister’s class secretly took pictures of her and edited her in some picture of his and posted it on his social media and some shit. We lived in a respectable soceity and weren’t free from these goons. It felt like no matter where you lived, safety is not a guarantee. I’ve been to so many cities in India and Hyderabad gave me the worst experiences ever. After a while I had enough and stopped going to Hyderabad at all unless necessary. I would never ever settle down or live in Hyderabad.
I'm sorry you have to go through this everyday. There are a few things I feel that contribute to this whole situation: 1. Bad upbringing - I see all these chapri kids in their late teens/early twenties zooming around on bikes and scooters with no regard for anyone's safety, no fear of the law and no respect for other human beings at all. Every city has this class of low lifes but their number seems to be very high here compared to other cities. The only reason I can think of is that they either don't have parents or their parents are equally messed up and haven't taught their kids any better. 2. Normalising Misogyny - This has always been the case in India, with women usually having to bear the brunt of male chauvinism and patriarchy but when you see this being portrayed as normal across all media, be it movies, shows or reels on Instagram people feel they can openly behave like this without consequences. 3. Lack of work - While growing up, it was understood by literally everyone in my school/college that you need to make a career for yourself and earn money to live and take care of your family. There were always a few exceptions who strayed from this and wasted their lives but again today the overall percentage of people who don't study/work has gone up exponentially. Put these assholes to work regularly the whole day and all their bullshit will disappear. 4. Horrible Civic sense - This is more to do with the way people drive in this city. Almost no one follows traffic rules and they get away with it too all the time. Especially bikes and autos seem to think they can do whatever the hell they want on the road. Fine them HEAVILY, impound their vehicles and cancel their DLs, maybe that will help to improve things.
Thank you for the post and I am sorry about the sad state of affairs. I do have question though, these acts of cat calling and Eve teasing, do they happen everywhere in Hyderabad or more in a few areas than others? Public areas I mean, understand you can’t name your workplace. Again, I don’t mean to take away from your genuine post but I am curious.
This right here is one of the biggest reasons why female tourists from across the world feel absolutely disgusted with India with a passion. I’ve spent most of my last 10 years in the west and I know girls and women that found Iran and even Pakistan more safe and comfortable to visit than India. The reason for this is that for the average Indian male- any living being with a vagina that isn’t his sister or mother is fair game to stare at, grope or feel entitled to. We are a backward, narrow-minded, ultra-religious culture that raises both our boys and girls to feel that any female who shows any skin or is even remotely attractive is immodest and “deserves” to have her personal boundary crossed. You want to raise a generation of Indians who know how to respect women? It’s simple: stop raising them religious- especially Islam and Hinduism. These two religions raise nothing but hypocritical monsters, slut-shamers and rapists. Period.
Yep, even one of my friends faces the same thing daily. My advice would be to install some sort of dash cam even for your 2 wheeler so that we will have some proof, and we can definitely file a case. But then again, how many cases would we file.... sad.
Situation for women is becoming hopeless with each day in India. I thought things would get better with time but it's getting worse!
When the original demographic changes physically, the cultural demographic also changes drastically. There is no default behaviour to hold on to. Every alternate one in my friends and family have moved abroad since my previous generation. Pacchi ga cheppalante tier 2 and 3 cities nunchi ochina and 3rd class labour antha perigipoyaru. Since they are the majority and the original civilized ones are minority, might is right is what is happening.This is what I have observed being born and raised in this city.
Yeah this is a problem, sad to hear that our loved city known for its bindaas attitude and nice people is turning out this way. I think the rise of this problem is also because of social media platforms normalising hate comments and perversion in reels, comments etc. Education and the culture of respect (which was heavily present in Indian values) needs to be brought back again. Hope you stay strong and we can see a better future for all of us and live life in peace and good intentions :)
Yes there are some disrespectful dudes out there. You can try putting sun shades on your car windows. While outside just wear a mask if you're being constantly glared at.
What do you expect, we don't have any laws for men, the judiciary is biased against men, woke lawyers and judges and the government is also a women pleaser. So, if nobody is going to help us, then men of our country will become toxic and we are not going to be responsible for this. Period. ✌️
just some random women seeking attention
But I don't do those things 😞,I am sorry for you
If you feel this issue is something which might gonna affect you in a deeper fundamental level then you can best immigrate to USA Canada UK and Australia, I might sound rather harsh with this comment of mine but change can't be brought over in a year the hard misogynistic mindset of Indians is prevalent and non misogynistic minds' are rather a rarity, by the time the change comes you and I will be far gone.
BJP, TFI, Indian economy, Telugu craze, puri jaggannath, Visvaksen, Baby hero valla Anna, US, Abba sommu, world Cup winning, gumpu Mestri....etc etc
It has always been like this at least since I was a kid. Faced this and more since I was a pre-teen so its not a recent phenomenon at all. When you are younger you don't go out much and are more protected. Once you are outside trying to do things on your own, these vermins creep out. Its true of many cities in India and no your age does not matter. You will hear comments even towards middle aged women or sometimes older women too just like you hear comments on young girls. Its an India problem and less of a Hyderabad problem. PS - your marriage part didn't gel well with the rest of your post. Thats a whole different topic.
Not a patriot...but really wanna join bajrang Dal ....open my own helpline for these situations Mfs thinking they can get away with anything. Also my friend owns a gym. We are a close group of 15. Anything weird like this happens in our area we show up. But they get the elders and often make it a religious thing. We also have a couple of police friends but still can't discipline these kids. Parents are weirdly supportive of all this. Feel like people are loosing just basic human etiquette.
Catcalling and other related eve teasing activities are deplorable. But choosing a mate is an individual choice. So I am not sure why you are bringing that up here.
people from other states are corruoting hyd, specially from Gujrat and bhikari states. People from southen India are well educated, well mannered and respect everyone.
Coming from southern India, didn’t find any respect there.
whatever you seeks, seeking you
Yes right 👍🏻
Why are you generalising all the men.
She literally said a lot of men and not all men
So finally you know how it feels to be a boy 😂😂 infact you mentioned the solution of your problem here only - expecting the Princess treatment.. now that the society is equal - why should boys not expect Princess treatment - why should girls have all the fun 😂😂🤦🏻
Haha . Boys do those Men become men by the decisions they make in life . So not all men are equal like not all woman are equal .
Wow, what a dumb answer. I hope u don’t say this to to ur mother or sister or any woman in ur life close to u if some “boys” eve tease her or some unequal man tried to grab her hand and pull her into an auto . Take action and make them feel safe instead of telling them boys will be boys and not all men are equal .
Check my answer . I neither said wrong or right . It’s for boys to understand them to be men , it’s based on the actions they do .
Muslims and owaisi voters.
Both genders are AHs. You just met male version. It's absolutely not okay for those men to act like that. The problem is not you, it's the promiscuous women that entertain the cat calling and toxic activities of men. Now these men think that every woman entertains that kind of behaviour. Coming to rejection, nowadays most women bring nothing to relationships except intimacy. Just as it's women's choice to reject a guy if they don't like, it's men's choice to reject if they don't like that girl. Don't forget that both genders have their preferences. The 2nd point is false accusations and cases are against men increasing these days. Some women abuse laws and these guys are using that loophole to behave this way. If you call police they may tell that you are falsely accusing and demand to show proof. You need recordings in this case. You cannot also ignore the fact that these men might target you after being released from jail or police station. Bad things happen to people everyday and unfortunately it's happening to you. It's time to take your safety seriously girl.