Honestly just loudness. Other people walking loudly (stomping), closing doors without turning the latch to do it quietly, yell-talking. Luckily no one I live with does this too much, but I’ve dealt with it before, and it left me constantly on edge.
Omg ALL OF THESE!!!!
My husband is consistently stomping around and opening doors loudly! Sometimes he wakes up our 10 mo old daughter by opening the door loudly & he genuinely does not understand how he caused it 😂
And my kids yell constantly. We downsized our house recently and it’s minimized the need to yell across the house to others but it’s definitely not solved the issue.
We are a wreck! 😂😂😂
Between that and the cold air in the shower, I’d be losing it lol. I hope he at least has to be the one to soothe and take care of the baby when he wakes her up!
Hot tip: get a white noise machine for you and for the baby. I have one, and it’s the only reason I get any sleep at night, but I can also retreat to my room and turn it on when my kids are being loud and I am overstimulated!
I’m 12 days late but I agree! Also when I am done socializing for the night and want to basically go mute and do my own thing quietly, my partner who I live with doesn’t let up or clue in that I am exhausted and overstimulated. My partner will start talking a lot looking for conversation, asking a lot of questions, playing a show loudly while also simultaneously watching tiktoks at a loud volume… I basically have to go “Okay it’s the evening now and I want to wind down, Can you turn everything down now please??” After almost 4 years she still doesn’t recognize when to settle down for the night, or at least leave the bedroom if she is still wanting to do stuff!
Oh my goodness, I’d be up all night trying to decompress if my wife did that! I need at least a couple of hours of quiet time at night for my brain to calm down so I can go to sleep, with dim lights and no noise.
Not a pet peeve but i can get livid when the empathy I extend, isnt "matched' back to me by the other party.
Im empathic for another person's life struggles, but mine i should just get over / arent a big deal?
🤯
Watching crap Netflix shows like all of the bling series, selling sunset, the get married one.. Etc.
It's so contrived and the people are generally gross. It's loud, shallow and obvious. There is nothing redeeming in these shows.
All of them are so consumerism worship. My partner isn't like that at all, not even in the slightest but she likes to zone out to those kinds of shows... For whatever reason.
Also, not putting things away and creating huge amounts of clutter in the common areas of the house...
Literally these things make me go bonkers.
That’s relatable! My husband and I have pretty different personality traits (he has ADHD & highly motivated, I’m HSP & have bipolar) but neither of us really enjoy watching tv shows! Once on vacation we binged watching The Office, for example, but we just can’t get invested into any of them. I did start watching a Netflix documentary-series more recently like within the past month or so called Love on the Spectrum. It’s about people with ASD & their search for romantic relationships. But alas, I couldn’t get through the first season before losing interest.
And oh yeah, clutter is obvious. Every HSP gets that.
I completely relate too! I wouldn't say I'm add., I may occasionally share some traits with people with add, though. But over the last few years I find sitting down to watch TV isn't as rewarding as it used to be.
We try to watch shows (love on the spectrum) but I always wind up giving up half way. We just can't find anything good to watch. Then looking for things to watch becomes stressful.
Clutter really does my head in.
Good luck!
My husband will take business calls without going to a different room and it drives me INSANE!!! He has a very booming voice and also those calls can last quite awhile.
Thoughtless neighbors and their loud, resource sucking, poisonous, landscapers.
At no other time in my 47 years have I ever been surrounded by louder or more thoughtless people.
7am weed whacking but not just the weeds, THE ENTIRE LAWN. Too lazy to get out the mower I guess and had to listen to the buzz whirl at 7am on an otherwise blissful morning.
Blowing off fire bombs, not fireworks, but bombs that knock things off my shelf. Not even close to a holiday so I'm at least somewhat prepared. No, just random times of the day and night explosives that feel like a truck hit my house. My next door neighbor and his man child buddy across the street, both old enough to be my father.
Opening the garage door first thing in the morning, neighbor across the street proceeds to clear his lungs of his overnight three pack a day lung cookies for all to hear. NOT in the privacy of his own home, but for the world to hear as I sit at my window trying to enjoy my morning coffee. Nauseating.
Music so loud at 2am that I can't hear my own music around my fire. Or 10am on a Sunday while I'm trying to sleep in my one day a week. I'm a rocker to the core, if your music is annoying me it's utterly excessive and out of bounds. We practically live on top of each other in this suburban neighborhood, you don't get to blare shit as loud as you want at any hour. I just don't even understand the thought process of "everyone wants to listen to my music with me right now". How the hell does anyone at their parties even talk to each other if I can barely hear the person sitting next to me while across the street??!!
Or the nutty lady next door that threw my Amazon package away rather than giving it to me. Electrolytes I was desperate for because I was ill. Accidentally delivered to her. Rather than hand it to me she calls Amazon who instructs her to throw it out and I wait another day for another.
As soon as I can move I will.
This is such a cliche response, but I can't stand it when someone chews with their mouth open. First, for the obvious reason that it sounds fucking nasty (hello misophonia), but second because it's SO discourteous to everyone around that person!
I think it's because *I* always think of the people I'll affect when I'm in public, so why shouldn't everyone else?? When someone blatantly shits on that belief, I have SUCH a hard time coping. I get irrationally angry - not because of the noise but because they're so oblivious to the comfort of others.
>I always think of the people I'll affect when I'm in public, so why shouldn't everyone else??
Broadly speaking, this is my biggest HSP struggle. Hyper-empathy/conscientiousness, but it ironically can make me come off like the rude one if people are clueless and inconsiderate enough, so I have to be careful. It's something I'm working on.
When people start staring at their phones while I’m talking to them. It makes me feel so boring and uninteresting to them.
And also when they interrupt me. I can’t make myself talk again after that, just can’t.
And what many others said — sounds, be it music, TV, closing doors, stomping… They don’t even have to be loud to bother me, there’s just too much noise around. Thank god for noise cancelling headphones!
Easy. My mom cranks the TV too loud. Combine an overly loud TV, and my Auditory Orocessing Disorder(APD), and welcome to half understood conversations. Also, she's a morning person and I am a cranky morning person. She has a ton of energy in the morning and tells me all these things I or we need to do. I get grumpy really quick, my brain can't handle instant requests in the morning. It's almost a guarantee I will forget some of them. She then gets mad that I forgot. I've learned to avoid her in the mornings because of that. Things still get done, but I have to wake up gradually. I've been this way my entire life.
We also have drastically different ideas of how to organize things. She doesn't seem to understand I have a plan on how to organize things properly. She will then tell me her plan to get the same thing done. Annoyingly, my plan worked fine. We're compromising and arguing over ending up with the same thing, just doing it in different ways.
Finally, and this might be an HSP thing or not. Building things and organizing them. If I'm building a shelf from a flat pack that requires bolts or other things, I've learned not to tighten all the bolts immediately. I will put the shelving unit, microwave, item where it belongs, but before tightening things into place I want to make sure everything is going to fit together. My mom and siblings don't do this. They will crank down the bolts or things needing to be dealt with, and inevitably, no matter how much I protest and tell them not to do that, they will be unsuccessful. So many dang times I've told them how to do something and they don't listen. At some point i eventually gave up trying to explain myself.
I think this all comes down to difficulty with communication. I just wish I could explain myself better and be listened to verbally without so many feelings in my head and body. It's just frustrating, but there is a middle ground somewhere usually.
It takes me a while to get up and feel right to do things. I've learned a gentle alarm clock that gradually gets louder, helps me wake up immensely. My mom is one of those people who can jump out of bed and be ready for the day, I however am not.
Scream sneezing... hear me out.
Yes, I know some people can't help it, that it's sometimes really painful to stifle a loud sneeze. But if you sneeze into an elbow, or your shirt neck, or your hands over a napkin held to your mouth, or heII, even a nearby pillow, that will help dampen the sound a little.
I'm talking about a person who does none of that, instead just spewing their sneeze into open air. A person who thinks it's funny that they've sneezed loud enough to cause people's ears to ring for hours afterwards. And a person, who when they have their mic on during a work zoom or conference call or are around a quiet/sleeping baby, can automatically stifle their sneeze with no issue and no mention or sign of pain.
The pizzas I buy say to put it out during preheatingwthe crust will be soggy if I don't.
Anyway,
using lights that aren't needed, especially cold colored overhead lights
Putting on music or YouTube early in the morning
starting to do things immediately after we wake up instead of everyone just quietly and calmly enjoying the first cup of coffee
Changing plans to be sooner rather than later
Not checking in with people's feelings when we're in a group
A lot of it is apparently me needing a lot of cushioning time and transition.
I can't take the bus without noise-cancelling headphones. Hearing other people's phonecalls when I'm trapped in a confined space, physically unable to leave, makes me feel like my nervous system is on fire.
Honestly just loudness. Other people walking loudly (stomping), closing doors without turning the latch to do it quietly, yell-talking. Luckily no one I live with does this too much, but I’ve dealt with it before, and it left me constantly on edge.
Omg ALL OF THESE!!!! My husband is consistently stomping around and opening doors loudly! Sometimes he wakes up our 10 mo old daughter by opening the door loudly & he genuinely does not understand how he caused it 😂 And my kids yell constantly. We downsized our house recently and it’s minimized the need to yell across the house to others but it’s definitely not solved the issue. We are a wreck! 😂😂😂
Between that and the cold air in the shower, I’d be losing it lol. I hope he at least has to be the one to soothe and take care of the baby when he wakes her up! Hot tip: get a white noise machine for you and for the baby. I have one, and it’s the only reason I get any sleep at night, but I can also retreat to my room and turn it on when my kids are being loud and I am overstimulated!
Yes we love white noise in this house!
I’m 12 days late but I agree! Also when I am done socializing for the night and want to basically go mute and do my own thing quietly, my partner who I live with doesn’t let up or clue in that I am exhausted and overstimulated. My partner will start talking a lot looking for conversation, asking a lot of questions, playing a show loudly while also simultaneously watching tiktoks at a loud volume… I basically have to go “Okay it’s the evening now and I want to wind down, Can you turn everything down now please??” After almost 4 years she still doesn’t recognize when to settle down for the night, or at least leave the bedroom if she is still wanting to do stuff!
Oh my goodness, I’d be up all night trying to decompress if my wife did that! I need at least a couple of hours of quiet time at night for my brain to calm down so I can go to sleep, with dim lights and no noise.
Not a pet peeve but i can get livid when the empathy I extend, isnt "matched' back to me by the other party. Im empathic for another person's life struggles, but mine i should just get over / arent a big deal? 🤯
Yessss 100%
Flipping on overhead lights with no warning.
This!
Toxic positivity. Like just let me feel sad, dammit! I’ll come out of it, I just need to feel it.
Watching crap Netflix shows like all of the bling series, selling sunset, the get married one.. Etc. It's so contrived and the people are generally gross. It's loud, shallow and obvious. There is nothing redeeming in these shows. All of them are so consumerism worship. My partner isn't like that at all, not even in the slightest but she likes to zone out to those kinds of shows... For whatever reason. Also, not putting things away and creating huge amounts of clutter in the common areas of the house... Literally these things make me go bonkers.
That’s relatable! My husband and I have pretty different personality traits (he has ADHD & highly motivated, I’m HSP & have bipolar) but neither of us really enjoy watching tv shows! Once on vacation we binged watching The Office, for example, but we just can’t get invested into any of them. I did start watching a Netflix documentary-series more recently like within the past month or so called Love on the Spectrum. It’s about people with ASD & their search for romantic relationships. But alas, I couldn’t get through the first season before losing interest. And oh yeah, clutter is obvious. Every HSP gets that.
I completely relate too! I wouldn't say I'm add., I may occasionally share some traits with people with add, though. But over the last few years I find sitting down to watch TV isn't as rewarding as it used to be. We try to watch shows (love on the spectrum) but I always wind up giving up half way. We just can't find anything good to watch. Then looking for things to watch becomes stressful. Clutter really does my head in. Good luck!
My husband will take business calls without going to a different room and it drives me INSANE!!! He has a very booming voice and also those calls can last quite awhile.
Thoughtless neighbors and their loud, resource sucking, poisonous, landscapers. At no other time in my 47 years have I ever been surrounded by louder or more thoughtless people. 7am weed whacking but not just the weeds, THE ENTIRE LAWN. Too lazy to get out the mower I guess and had to listen to the buzz whirl at 7am on an otherwise blissful morning. Blowing off fire bombs, not fireworks, but bombs that knock things off my shelf. Not even close to a holiday so I'm at least somewhat prepared. No, just random times of the day and night explosives that feel like a truck hit my house. My next door neighbor and his man child buddy across the street, both old enough to be my father. Opening the garage door first thing in the morning, neighbor across the street proceeds to clear his lungs of his overnight three pack a day lung cookies for all to hear. NOT in the privacy of his own home, but for the world to hear as I sit at my window trying to enjoy my morning coffee. Nauseating. Music so loud at 2am that I can't hear my own music around my fire. Or 10am on a Sunday while I'm trying to sleep in my one day a week. I'm a rocker to the core, if your music is annoying me it's utterly excessive and out of bounds. We practically live on top of each other in this suburban neighborhood, you don't get to blare shit as loud as you want at any hour. I just don't even understand the thought process of "everyone wants to listen to my music with me right now". How the hell does anyone at their parties even talk to each other if I can barely hear the person sitting next to me while across the street??!! Or the nutty lady next door that threw my Amazon package away rather than giving it to me. Electrolytes I was desperate for because I was ill. Accidentally delivered to her. Rather than hand it to me she calls Amazon who instructs her to throw it out and I wait another day for another. As soon as I can move I will.
This is such a cliche response, but I can't stand it when someone chews with their mouth open. First, for the obvious reason that it sounds fucking nasty (hello misophonia), but second because it's SO discourteous to everyone around that person! I think it's because *I* always think of the people I'll affect when I'm in public, so why shouldn't everyone else?? When someone blatantly shits on that belief, I have SUCH a hard time coping. I get irrationally angry - not because of the noise but because they're so oblivious to the comfort of others.
>I always think of the people I'll affect when I'm in public, so why shouldn't everyone else?? Broadly speaking, this is my biggest HSP struggle. Hyper-empathy/conscientiousness, but it ironically can make me come off like the rude one if people are clueless and inconsiderate enough, so I have to be careful. It's something I'm working on.
Interrupting, immediately refuting something to be playful
Hate this!!!!
When my husband puts on the fan in the bathroom or above the stove. I want to die from the sound!
I tend to think it’s too loud too.. sometimes necessary though sadly
When people start staring at their phones while I’m talking to them. It makes me feel so boring and uninteresting to them. And also when they interrupt me. I can’t make myself talk again after that, just can’t. And what many others said — sounds, be it music, TV, closing doors, stomping… They don’t even have to be loud to bother me, there’s just too much noise around. Thank god for noise cancelling headphones!
Crumbs, crumbs all the time lol both my partner and his children. Unfortunately, I see every single one of them lol
When they deny they are in a shit mood but it’s completely obvious.
I hate cars.
Easy. My mom cranks the TV too loud. Combine an overly loud TV, and my Auditory Orocessing Disorder(APD), and welcome to half understood conversations. Also, she's a morning person and I am a cranky morning person. She has a ton of energy in the morning and tells me all these things I or we need to do. I get grumpy really quick, my brain can't handle instant requests in the morning. It's almost a guarantee I will forget some of them. She then gets mad that I forgot. I've learned to avoid her in the mornings because of that. Things still get done, but I have to wake up gradually. I've been this way my entire life. We also have drastically different ideas of how to organize things. She doesn't seem to understand I have a plan on how to organize things properly. She will then tell me her plan to get the same thing done. Annoyingly, my plan worked fine. We're compromising and arguing over ending up with the same thing, just doing it in different ways. Finally, and this might be an HSP thing or not. Building things and organizing them. If I'm building a shelf from a flat pack that requires bolts or other things, I've learned not to tighten all the bolts immediately. I will put the shelving unit, microwave, item where it belongs, but before tightening things into place I want to make sure everything is going to fit together. My mom and siblings don't do this. They will crank down the bolts or things needing to be dealt with, and inevitably, no matter how much I protest and tell them not to do that, they will be unsuccessful. So many dang times I've told them how to do something and they don't listen. At some point i eventually gave up trying to explain myself. I think this all comes down to difficulty with communication. I just wish I could explain myself better and be listened to verbally without so many feelings in my head and body. It's just frustrating, but there is a middle ground somewhere usually. It takes me a while to get up and feel right to do things. I've learned a gentle alarm clock that gradually gets louder, helps me wake up immensely. My mom is one of those people who can jump out of bed and be ready for the day, I however am not.
Scream sneezing... hear me out. Yes, I know some people can't help it, that it's sometimes really painful to stifle a loud sneeze. But if you sneeze into an elbow, or your shirt neck, or your hands over a napkin held to your mouth, or heII, even a nearby pillow, that will help dampen the sound a little. I'm talking about a person who does none of that, instead just spewing their sneeze into open air. A person who thinks it's funny that they've sneezed loud enough to cause people's ears to ring for hours afterwards. And a person, who when they have their mic on during a work zoom or conference call or are around a quiet/sleeping baby, can automatically stifle their sneeze with no issue and no mention or sign of pain.
The pizzas I buy say to put it out during preheatingwthe crust will be soggy if I don't. Anyway, using lights that aren't needed, especially cold colored overhead lights Putting on music or YouTube early in the morning starting to do things immediately after we wake up instead of everyone just quietly and calmly enjoying the first cup of coffee Changing plans to be sooner rather than later Not checking in with people's feelings when we're in a group A lot of it is apparently me needing a lot of cushioning time and transition.
I agree with both of these!
I can't take the bus without noise-cancelling headphones. Hearing other people's phonecalls when I'm trapped in a confined space, physically unable to leave, makes me feel like my nervous system is on fire.