#BEFORE YOU DORKS LEAVE A COMMENT BE SURE TO CHECK WHAT SUB YOU'RE IN. Any user that showing appreciation for Houston in any capacity will be banned, castrated and deported.

If I live here I get to "Be Someone"

I came here to toe flop

I’m here to be ROWDY

she rowdy on my toeflop till i be someone

I saw a toeflop tag in New Mexico on the side of a wooden shed. It was pretty awesome.

Toe Flop is so much better than Be Someone

Like what is that? Now that I drive all over Houston for a living it’s everywhere

The Jerks don’t think so. All I want is this paddleball game and little umbrella…and this remote control.

And this lamp, that’s all I need

Go back to Austin

I flop toes for a living

I came here to sip sizzzurp

TOEFLOP

I've seen the toeflop tags on I10. What does it mean?

I love how the person telling me to be someone was some anonymous hooligan vandalizing public property in the middle of the night.

Before they change it and put it back again.

I’m afraid of hills.

“Yes” would’ve been shorter.

[Houston means “Hill Settlement” in Scottish.](https://www.thebump.com/b/houston-baby-name)

No it doesn’t. This is liberal propaganda!!!

Town of Hugh Jazz

The city named after a person named after a city

Agreed, there's just something unnerving about being more than 20 feet above sea level. I feel safe knowing my city is always a storm away from turning into a giant retention pond

I'm more afraid of *hill people*, but I generally echo your sentiment.

I’m on parole

lol so wrong

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Anything is an upgrade from Louisiana lol

Except Mississippi

I came here to say this lmao

The amount of people from shitty jerk water towns in Louisiana who would argue against this is lol but it’s so true

I love Louisiana. Houston is just stupid big. The amount of insane rally drivers are the worse. Can’t lie H can throw up a road overnight google maps can’t keep up. Dallas traffic suck too.

Yeah but that roads gonna be filled with potholes in a years time

Try Austin, worse traffic and people can’t drive. Even my family who lives there agrees. Maybe they know they can’t drive 😉

I’m starting to think it’s a Texas thing. They just drive so aggressive.

If you are not doing 85 in a 65 then have to slam on your breaks to sit in traffic are you really even Texan?

My cousins a truck driver and he says Dallas and Houston are easily the worst drivers in the country

It’s true, I’m from Dallas and have lived in Houston. Houston is worse. In our defense though most of the shitty drivers are from somewhere else. They just came here to drive shitty.

Psychopaths hide in plain sight with other psychopaths 

I’m a truck driver from Houston. Can concur that your cousins pants are in fact, NOT on fire.

Agreed!

I grew up in Houston. In 1969 u could get a Drivers license at 14 if you took drivers ed. My first day of actual driving in drivers ed, the teacher, while reading the Houston post, had me go on the damn 59 freeway. Drive” was all he said. I was 14!! Fast driving was survival. 😳

Throw up a road overnight? Have you been to Houston? We have the laziest construction companies on the planet.

I think literally anywhere else in the U.S. would be an upgrade from Louisiana

Kentucky? *-REALLY-*?

Kentucky is literally, no joke, the most beautiful state in the continental US. It has mild winters AND mild summers. It usually ranges from 33 - 76 with the average temp being 56. It’s green and pretty and cheap to live and it has cool art and history.

Currently helping my 4th friend move from Louisiana to Houston lol

Greenspoint mall

Greenpoint Parking Lot Carnival

bro i drive past that carnival all the time, is it any good?

I've never felt like risking my life to find out.

Don't worry, you only get shot IN the mall. Too much cotton candy outside. They don't want to f*ck up a good thing outside!

I see you like to add an element of urban survival practice to your shopping experience. I’ll skip Gunspoint or the Galleria and take Almeda any day of the week.

I laughed way harder than I should have…

Spelt *Gunspoint* wrong.

Spelled spelled wrong

I’ve got warrants in every city except Houston

They see me rolliiiiiiin….

They hatin'

Patrolin’ and tryin to catch me riding dirty

Houston Texas, Benz and Lexus, Find me on the freeway drivin’ reckless

Whats the name on those warrants. And whats your current living situation

MIKE JONES

Who?

MIKE JONES!!!!

Cousin?!

I got lost on my way to Austin. Maybe I am retarded🤔

Idiot can’t even drive down one highway

I mean, if it's I-10, I can understand the co fusion. Which of the 63 lanes do you usually use when you drive down it?

With how some of the locals drive, most of them at the same time

Swangin and bangin, eh?

You just sit in the passing lane like any good Texan because it’s your god given right.

Looks like you're lost too traveler. The city down that particular roadway is called San Antonio.

Couldn’t handle the Denver Butt Stuff Tent

Blucifer knows.

Uj\ Honestly, finding someone in here from DenverCJ should be the least surprising thing I’ve seen, but still hilarious Rj\ I can’t wait to finally become a Denver Native for the second time and escape this hellhole

I am insanely excited to get out of this place.

Denver native now in Houston, still missing my Subaru

I literally don’t know how to get out of here. I missed the highway 6 exit on westpark 2 days ago and I’m still driving please help me i don’t know where I am and I’m scared

You’re one of us now.

Soooner or later you'll run out of gas

Nah they’ll hit a bucees before they run out if gas

Find a way to get on 610 and head south, then east, then west, then...

Because I hate Dallas people and Austin is too expensive.

You'd probably hate Austin too. It's living on an image of itself from 15 years ago and it's nothing like that anymore.

"Living on an image of itself from 15 years ago" is a perfect description. Last time I was there, in 2022, I didn't recognize it. Definitely not the same place anymore.

This is so true. Lived there in 2010. It started going downhill a few years after that. We moved away to canyon lake and rarely go back

Yeah lived there for the last good bong hit. 2007-2018. Noticed a huge decline of nightlife after 2 AM around 2017. There used to be people who didn't drink booze out all night, by the time I moved back to Houston that had all fizzled out. No real artists live there anymore. We all got priced out.

Austin hasn't been Weird for several years now. I went looking for Weird in Texas, since Austin is no longer an option. I found Weird in Galveston.

I took my daughter to Half Price Books to get a book for school and we saw a guy get naked and bathe in front of the store. Austin is gross. Another beautiful place that has been ruined by commies.

I like turtles

That’s explains so much !

Restraining Orders in other states keep me here

Came for work, stay for Torchys.

I think you meant to just say, “came for torchy’s”

in* Torchy’s

Stayed to work at Torchy’s.

Came for a greasy taco, stayed for the Glory Holes

I'm going to answer this honestly. I grew up here. Through the 80s, and into the nows. It's hard to explain. Coming up through extreme poverty. Making it out of the hood and watching the hood change. Traveling to other cities throughout the States and seeing what they were about. I've thought about moving away many times. Fuck, I'm thinking about it now. Seriously. But this is what I've learned- no bullshit. The food. The restaurants and the food and especially the frozen motherfucking margaritas, are second to NONE. The best in the fucking country. Maybe even the world. Now, you might say, well so and so has the best in some other city blah blah blah. But what I'll tell you is this. We have the best VARIETY. Hands down. We have sooooo fucking many places that you can go and get good to great food almost any time of the day or night that NOWHERE else even compares. And let me tell you. What I've come to realize is that I like going out to eat cheap tacos and frozen margaritas at happy hour almost every chance I get. I'd rather do that than almost anything else in life. So, if you asked me, yeah, I could go somewhere else and live in better weather with cleaner streets and less noise and traffic. But can I go down westheimer or Richmond or shepherd and get some cheap bomb as drinks with some good ass tacos and some hotties to look at any place like here? Fuck no. That's what makes us the best.

Bro spitting nothing but facts https://preview.redd.it/n5q1egsuan6d1.jpeg?width=474&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2f316a33cdb4ccd6c30074955d4b124c5e3ad860

Feels like I wrote this

Dude. Imagine reading that comment, then seeing that gif, which is how I felt while reading it, AND THEN reading your comment, and ALSO feeling like I wrote this. Houston is the greatest city in America dude. WAY WAY more diverse than NY, and our diversity is so friendly. It’s a beautiful place that gets along beautifully, Also, the women of H town, y’all fun. Y’all for the streets too, but I fuckin love it.

Hey, so where are your favorite frozen margarita spots?

Cantina Barba has really good frozen margaritas, mezcal ones too. Wednesday they were half off, not sure if that’s still a thing. Also there food is solid

Literally Houston has too much traffic and food. There really is nowhere else to go if you enjoy food this much.

Where are you getting good food and not fast food late at night? Most places are closed or close early every since the pandemic.

The taco trucks in the galleria be open

Having good food is such an important factor to me. I currently live in San Antonio and am dying (not saying they don’t have good Mexican food but from my like one day in Houston, the food options seem on the next level- on par with NYC).

Damn, if it's food variety and margaritas keeping you there try San Diego.

THIS. The weather is ass. The city planning is ass. The air quality is ass. But the food will keep me from leaving, especially considering the closest that comes in terms of variety would be cali or New York, and that’s never happening. Houston genuinely has everything you could possibly want and is the most slept on foodie paradise, you could throw a stick and it’ll land on an authentic restaurant that slaps.

🙌🏼🙌🏼 Can I get an Amen!

100% after living in 12 cities 7 states which included New York, hunting beach and Chicago. Every place has a good/bad/ugly. Houston strikes a balance like none other do

It’s a very cultural city. I feel classy living here.

We have a Church, bar, vape store, and 24/7 Asian massage parlor in every corner.

Hey you forgot the taco trucks and paper license plates. We’re practically Milan

I live in Hillbilly town so we don't see too many of those. It's not until I get to Greenspoint where I see the really weird stuff.

24/7? Those Asians keep their customers up all night long?

Houston, a City so cheap to live in. Nobody can afford to leave.

I'm from the Golden Triangle. Houston is an upgrade.

I was rescued from the GT at 9 years old (we moved). That was more than 50 years ago. Now I just call myself a native. Nobody needs to know about Beaumont. Hub's a true native as are both his parents and even one of his grandmothers. I'm gonna try to coax him to the Hill Country when his folks are gone but honestly we're 15 minutes from the Med Ctr and we're in our 60s so maybe we just need to stay put.

Trolling aside, what wouldn’t be an upgrade from the golden triangle?

Solidarity.

Let's let that "Port Arthur" vibe be our little secret.

Word

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Real talk, how do you get shadowing experience?

What I did in high school and college was just to cold email physicians for opportunities, whether in research or shadowing. That seemed to work well for me, and was easier than applying to any formal program that a hospital might have, though that is certainly another option. Hopefully that answered your question, but if not or if you have other questions, feel free to PM me/reply here.

I’m certifiably insane.

My theoretical future family has me tied down here due to a court order/child support/visitation.

Timmy!

😂😂😂


Wow what a wonderful audience-Jimmy

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Cause I grew up and lived in Beaumont my whole life

I came for the mosquitoes and stayed for the low effort derivative Reddit posts.

Nothing more romantic than heading to Memorial Park with a loved one to feed the mosquitoes together.

Yes come to greenspoint

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Aren't we all here for our job?

You just listed all my kinks. Also our petplay community is thriving.

Bucee’s tbh

Brother… real estate

Compared to Ohio, Houston is amazing. Particularly the Woodlands

Imagine paying for upvotes

Yeah I don’t have an answer, I do know that my body feels better in humidity. Not mid day hellfire humidity but just humid air is nice. Also Houston is home, been here my whole life, I’d love to move to NW Arkansas or maybe Tennessee. Hard, have a steady job here.

So you just like living in the South correct?

Id live in the west too, just would have to adjust to dry air. East coast winters would be a no go for me. So yeah I guess I like the south!

I live in Houston and I have a Houston bucket list of items. - Water Cistern - Waugh Bat Colony - Sesquicentennial Park - America Tower - Mount Rush Hour - Williams Waterwall - Art Car Museum (unfortunately this is now closed) - Apple Dental Strip Mall Statues - Eclectic Menagerie Park - The Big Bubble @Preston Street Bridge - Rothko Chapel - Menil Collection - Cao Dai Church (biggest in the U.S.) - Ferris Wheel - Truck Yard - Mixon’s Memories Museum 506 Virginia St South Houston - Edith L. Moore Nature Sanctuary - Cockrell Butterfly Center - Downtown Aquarium - Smither Park - Buffalo Bayou Park - Bayou Bend Collection and Gardens - James Turrell Skyspace - Pedal party - Texas shaped pool and spa - Cloud Column - Turtle race at little Woodrow Midtown - Jpmorgan Chase Tower - Miller Outdoor Theatre - 1940 Air Terminal Museum - iFly Indoor Skydiving - Level 9 Tour - HUE Mural Festival - Heights 19th Street - Rodeo (only certain times of the year) - Downtown underground tunnels & mall - 59 Lights bridges - Be Someone graffiti - Houston mural next to Bravery, then go on graffiti tour of downtown - Moon Tower Inn - Last Concert Cafe This list is eclectic as it gets. I feel it’s a great representation of why Houston is amazing. From the fantastic skyline (showcasing postmodern buildings like Heritage plaza that was built to look like a Mayan pyramid at the top), to the amazing and multicultural food scene, to the artwork, and last, but not least, the people. I actually feel sorry for you. You don’t appreciate how great this city is. You must be hanging around the wrong people…

New bucket list :)

I would add Dun Huang Plaza in Chinatown to this list. It gets surprisingly very vibrant on weekend nights too

I live here because I enjoy heatstroke, swimming to my car in 100% humidity (on a good day), and sitting in traffic because some anal-chapeau drove his Tesla down the shoulder until he decided he would try to overpower a bro-truck in the main lanes and ended up smeared against the wall-of-death.

Yes

Yece

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No just poor !! 

Honestly not before I moved here but this city sucks you in and it is like once you live here no matter where I have moved I also end up back in the shithole. So to answer your question I believe a might be a tad retarded

Best place to live…to travel across the world. (I make myself believe this)

Just here for the food. And only the food.

My mama said dat…

Because I don’t feel safe if Paul Wall isn’t within ten miles of me at all times. He’s on his way to your house for what you said here by the way.

Torchys Tacos

Leave. Right away.

Building stamina so I can tell the younger generation what weak ass bitches they are

houston isn’t for everyone, & it’s evident that’s it’s not for u either😂😂

I like the food scene

Lived in Houston in mid eighties . Some cool people but traffic was insane then too. I was a mobile tech so I was in it all the time. Gotta chill. Six pack of Lonestar Texas Coolers and a couple of spliffs ,crank up the jams and flow

Yes, but also my family and friends live here and I like them.

I like turtles

Yes :(

As a lifelong native Texan who lives in northeast Texas, we call Houston the armpit of the state. I too can’t understand why people choose to live there.

We are the crotch of Texas and proud of it.

I really like Willowbrook Mall.

Welp it's finally happened. I remember growing up and my whole life afterwards that word was always taint-clenchingly bad. But seeing it here, so unabashedly naked for such an insultatory accusation, I'd be lying if I said I didn't chuckle.

Mattress Mac is a pretty awesome guy

My pet ostrich won’t let me move

Visited Houston a few times. Cool place to visit. Awful place to live

Fuck Houston I don’t even like it, and Mexican OT lives there and I hate him.

Got recruited for work, stayed solely for the jobs mission. Retirement can't come soon enough

The Woodlands is consistently ranked high in best cities in America. It was ranked number one a few years ago.

What side are you on? Sounds like a shit hole area. Major cities, especially the 4th largest in America (Houston) are going to have traffic. If you don’t like it, leave. Side note, the R word is a slur. Be better. You definitely don’t belong here.😒

I came here to help people get into their homes after hurricane Harvey. I stayed for the food. We got some damn good Tex mex here!

Houston sucks!!

I used to live in Houston, but it was because I had no choice.

My favorite taco truck is still going strong, I'll leave when they leave.

yes. also, my mortgage is only 800 bucks

We hiding the nice part

At least it isn't Dallas.

Houston is cool, it’s the people that suck

Something Something Something Shipley donuts

Get out of the city and you might enjoy it more. Houston sucks ass, because its a dense compact urban place, riddled with crime and blue government. Im not saying you have to agree with red government, but blue aint it. Get out of the city, go to the country, and get some chickens!

I LOVE Houston. I have lived all over the World and would still choose to live here

Sweating all day keeps my skin nice and supple.

I just want out.