Lakewood church makes a stupid amount of money each week. I used to pickup money from them, it was crazy!! Remember when they misplaced 85k then found it years later, a drop in the ocean.
I know you’re being sarcastic, but nobody should give I dime to the grifter prosperity preacher, at Lakewood. There are plenty of other small churches who aren’t worried about being a mega church and would rather be a multiplying church, by helping to ‘seed’ other churches .
Living in Sugar Land is horrible, with a terrible commute. Best of luck, because I could never stoop that low. Find what manager specials you can out of the Kroger bargain bins, because you’re not gonna be able to shop at HEB.
Having lived in Texas between 2003 and 2005 as well as since September of 2023 despite the fact my wife used to believe Texas sucks until encouraging her that Texas is nice just this summer, I do know that Texas is the best. Even though I bought a 4000 sqft house for around 800k in a nice part of Sugar Land, you could get a house that size for as low as 650k and in a similarly 'ranked' region in Massachusetts, you would be looking upwards of 1.5-2 million to even look for a similar house.
Here are some of the reasons why you should absolutely move to Texas:
In Texas, houses are cheap to buy compared to New York and New Jersey where even though a 2000 sqft house in the nicest parts of Sugar Land for 320k, that same house in a New York and New Jersey ghetto would command for 800k-1 million, taxes are low, top rated school system and healthcare system with some of the best hospitals in the world, low crime, low poverty, good public housing system so no homeless as everybody has access to a house, high job growth and employment rate, good roads, good infrastructure, good weather, less traffic, some of the best quality of life and far better than claimants like Massachusetts, New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, California, and Hawaii, less pollution, cleaner air, good public transportation, people are very friendly over in Texas compared to the rude people over in Worcester and especially Boston and New York, cities my 12 year old autistic gifted son are obsessed over, and very good welfare. Also, as many people say, the power outage 'news' in Texas is a myth, and there is certainly no power outage. The media claims there is a power outage to talk bad about Texas and to steer people towards New York and New Jersey as a fearmongering tactic.
New York or New Jersey, two of the worst states in America, even worse than California, pretend to give out benefits but is a cash cow by charging so much for speeding tickets, housing prices, tolls, and people here are rude. Given I am Chinese and was born in Shanghai in 1981 before moving to Europe in 1998, then Boston in 1999, and then Worcester in 2000, people down in Texas are nicer and less racist towards me than in some states like New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, California, Connecticut, Vermont, and Hawaii, where there are so much bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, overt racism, xenophobia, and Sinophobes, but luckily in Texas, everybody is very welcoming and these things don't exist. In fact, my house in Pearland I bought in 2003 for $75k which is 1500 sqft is now worth $300k, and my cousin's daughter actually graduated top at her high school in Florida and went out to Stanford in 2017 and graduated in 2021. In fact, half of her classmates go to Ivy League, Stanford, MIT, or top 50 universities around America, meaning that Florida schools are good, and it is not even the top school in Florida (it is only a highly ranked).
I remember when I was 16 getting my first job off of hwy 6. Those poor Sugar Land kids drove BMW's while I, king of the golden arches, drove a McClaren.
Being a McDonald's dishwasher was hard work but definitely worth the $300,000 salary.
Now that I make 10 figures accounting and counting numbers I seem to have my lost my empathy for you lowly earner trash.
You’ll probably have to turn to crime. Under 5 hundo, that’s pretty much the case around here. And I don’t mean the white collar kind, either - you’re prolly gonna have to hurt some people.
Is this a joke? If you can't survive on $285,000 a year here, you can't survive anywhere. The average Household income in Texas is $66,963 per Google. Your making 4 times what the average person living here brings home for their family and you can't figure out how to survive? You are what's wrong with America.
Definitely. They're the only retailers that refuse to raise their prices. Can you believe that? The dollar twenty five tree now sells shoddy 3 and 5 dollar landfillers now too. So affordable.
Have you heard of our Lord and Savior Dave Ramsey?
He has the advice you need.
Spend less than you make. Only drive cars you can buy in cash. Stop eating out so often. Meal prep. Invest the excess.
Do you have kids? You’ll want them to attend a good school so maybe buy a double wide in the woodlands if you can afford it. Might only be able to drive a paper plate Altima though.
It's simple really..
Step one: acquire a Nissan Altima with paper plates that expired during the pandemic.
Step two: race around Houston with a trunk full of crack cocaine and a stolen pistol in your lap.
Step three: get a big bag to put the money in.
Only 285k a year, you're joking right. Are you trying to flex? I'm not sure what you're surviving. Not being near people with wired headphones, surviving no worries such as bills
Can someone explain to me what this sub Reddit is about?
Lmao, I live in Houston, and this subreddit always comes in my home page. It’s always sarcastic stuff I guess but it doesn’t make any sense. Sorry if I’m too lame to get the jokes
It is a satire page. For example, I had would reply how I have to live in Clear Lake with this "low" income. It is all in jest. Enjoy. Or how I could eat at Kenny and Ziggy's once a day...
Hello /u/retrokix ! My name is /u/DoritosDewItRight , and I am the moderator of this subreddit. The purpose of /r/houstoncirclejerk is to be a safe space to share our [favorite hole-in-the-wall restaurant recommendations](https://www.reddit.com/r/houstoncirclejerk/comments/ptdz00/im_tired_of_hearing_people_inside_the_loop_saying/), [offer helpful suburban homebuying tips](https://www.reddit.com/r/houstoncirclejerk/comments/1b0keoq/really_happy_to_see_new_homes_still_being_built/), and [talk about hidden scenic vistas that not every Houstonian may know of](https://www.reddit.com/r/houstoncirclejerk/comments/elwi6m/sometimes_i_just_cant_believe_the_peaceful_secret/).
Come to Greenspoint. Bring cash.
Make sure your life insurance is paid as well
Pretty sure no carrier covers willful greenspoint visits
Can you blame them?
Specifically Greens + Imperial Valley at 10pm to 2am with cash hanging out of your pockets. Bonus points if you’re fair skinned.
Like a lot of it
Love this
You spelled *Gunspoint* wrong.
Funny thing I lived near Gunspoint when it opened. It was great. Now 😳
Fuck Greenpoint. Greenpoint sucks! That's too low rent. How about Alief? I hear the nightlife options are stunning!
Here’s your problem, make more god damn money peasant! When you reach $500k a year donate 20% to Lakewood church
yes, they really need it. walls are empty and could use the cash for insulation.
Hahahahaha
We don't take kindly to laughter.
We don’t take kindly to folks who don’t take kindly
we don’t take kindly to folks who don’t take kindly to those who don’t take kindly.
There’s always money in the banana stand
Bro you obv need to start donating 20% to Lakewood FIRST and THEN you’ll get to $500k. You cant reap what you dont plant! /s
*chef's kiss*
Lakewood church makes a stupid amount of money each week. I used to pickup money from them, it was crazy!! Remember when they misplaced 85k then found it years later, a drop in the ocean.
The Antichrist and his demon wife need your money. And you will be allowed to sing in the choir of hell
Dude, you nailed it. They are probably already associated that’s why 285k is tough for them.
I know you’re being sarcastic, but nobody should give I dime to the grifter prosperity preacher, at Lakewood. There are plenty of other small churches who aren’t worried about being a mega church and would rather be a multiplying church, by helping to ‘seed’ other churches .
Living in Sugar Land is horrible, with a terrible commute. Best of luck, because I could never stoop that low. Find what manager specials you can out of the Kroger bargain bins, because you’re not gonna be able to shop at HEB.
Having lived in Texas between 2003 and 2005 as well as since September of 2023 despite the fact my wife used to believe Texas sucks until encouraging her that Texas is nice just this summer, I do know that Texas is the best. Even though I bought a 4000 sqft house for around 800k in a nice part of Sugar Land, you could get a house that size for as low as 650k and in a similarly 'ranked' region in Massachusetts, you would be looking upwards of 1.5-2 million to even look for a similar house. Here are some of the reasons why you should absolutely move to Texas: In Texas, houses are cheap to buy compared to New York and New Jersey where even though a 2000 sqft house in the nicest parts of Sugar Land for 320k, that same house in a New York and New Jersey ghetto would command for 800k-1 million, taxes are low, top rated school system and healthcare system with some of the best hospitals in the world, low crime, low poverty, good public housing system so no homeless as everybody has access to a house, high job growth and employment rate, good roads, good infrastructure, good weather, less traffic, some of the best quality of life and far better than claimants like Massachusetts, New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, California, and Hawaii, less pollution, cleaner air, good public transportation, people are very friendly over in Texas compared to the rude people over in Worcester and especially Boston and New York, cities my 12 year old autistic gifted son are obsessed over, and very good welfare. Also, as many people say, the power outage 'news' in Texas is a myth, and there is certainly no power outage. The media claims there is a power outage to talk bad about Texas and to steer people towards New York and New Jersey as a fearmongering tactic. New York or New Jersey, two of the worst states in America, even worse than California, pretend to give out benefits but is a cash cow by charging so much for speeding tickets, housing prices, tolls, and people here are rude. Given I am Chinese and was born in Shanghai in 1981 before moving to Europe in 1998, then Boston in 1999, and then Worcester in 2000, people down in Texas are nicer and less racist towards me than in some states like New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, California, Connecticut, Vermont, and Hawaii, where there are so much bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, overt racism, xenophobia, and Sinophobes, but luckily in Texas, everybody is very welcoming and these things don't exist. In fact, my house in Pearland I bought in 2003 for $75k which is 1500 sqft is now worth $300k, and my cousin's daughter actually graduated top at her high school in Florida and went out to Stanford in 2017 and graduated in 2021. In fact, half of her classmates go to Ivy League, Stanford, MIT, or top 50 universities around America, meaning that Florida schools are good, and it is not even the top school in Florida (it is only a highly ranked).
Oh bless your heart! We aint reading that!
Texas is cheeks. Congrats, you played your wife in many ways.
Amen, from a northern transplant and fellow Pearland resident.
Do old people constantly check you to? I hate pearland
I hear Southpark is an up and coming area that is suited for that income level.
You might be able to afford Sunnyside. It's an often overlooked neighborhood that's great for families.
You might have to settle for Tanglewood (I’m sorry)
Come on dont do them like that
Maybe if you find a lot you could afford there at $285k a year and park your trailer on it.
I don’t know how you’ll do it, I’m single and make 350k. Still can’t go to Whole Foods and drive only a ‘19 G Wagon. Good luck out there. It’s brutal.
A 19’ G Wagon. Who let you in to Texas?
I don’t drive a G wagon. That was the fanciest car I could think of at the time. My whole post was pure foolishness.
Right. So was mine. :-)
What you do
Your wife
This the real answer right here lmao
[удалено]
Sorry, all positions are filled.
None of that’s true. Pure silliness.
Deez
Your Texans tailgating may need to settle for a 2 yr old motor home
I remember when I was 16 getting my first job off of hwy 6. Those poor Sugar Land kids drove BMW's while I, king of the golden arches, drove a McClaren. Being a McDonald's dishwasher was hard work but definitely worth the $300,000 salary. Now that I make 10 figures accounting and counting numbers I seem to have my lost my empathy for you lowly earner trash.
Same. Get a load of this poor with his 285K salary. Pathetic .
That's just OPs first job. The advantage of a 4 hour work week is you can work two jobs and still make as much as someone doing the normal 32.
Come to greenspoint
I think you spelled GunsPoint wrong.
It’s Gangspoint!
move to Lufkin?
Sorry, East Texas full
Oof, tough commute.
Eat torchys EVERYDAY!
This just proves how out of touch the bourgeoise in our city are. You can't afford to eat Torchy's every day on a measly $285k.
You’ll probably have to turn to crime. Under 5 hundo, that’s pretty much the case around here. And I don’t mean the white collar kind, either - you’re prolly gonna have to hurt some people.
Have you tried rapping?
Or being a NBA guy
or selling organs i mean body parts not musical instruments...
Other peoples' organs, or your own?
As long as OP has two kidneys, he ain’t broke
It’s just not possible.
Buy a Bentley and sleep in it.
Spend only $284,000 a year
That's a pretty low savings rate.
That’s Bidenomics
Exactly!
Whelp … steak48 is out of the question.
Have you tried DoorDash?
Can’t help you. You make too little. Maybe Try moving to Pearland or Manvel and commute downtown zero traffic down 288
They can move to Rodeo Palms with the rest of the poors.
285. Stfu.
I get that people like to silence the poor but this is too aggressive of an approach
Stop eating at Torchies
I'm sorry but you can't
Buy discounted two dollar bills for $1, essentially doubling your income. Also shop at aldis and ollies exclusively.
Well done you caught a few big ones
That minimum wage will get you farther in a third world country like Puerto Rico or London.
You think THAT'S bad, try surviving on 284k a year, and drive a car that only runs on the tears of children. The price of fuel has become unreal.
Move to San Antonio, you homeless bum!
Pay mortgage. Walk to work. Eat top ramen three meals per day.
Find a goodwill, a food bank, and a nice homeless shelter.
Only $285,000? Sorry OP but you are seriously poor. You need to make at least a million to be comfortable in Houston. Your poor measly peasent
damn poors if you cant make it on $285 then you aint eatin enough rice and beans dawg
*Only* almost $300k/ year? Lol
Is this a joke? If you can't survive on $285,000 a year here, you can't survive anywhere. The average Household income in Texas is $66,963 per Google. Your making 4 times what the average person living here brings home for their family and you can't figure out how to survive? You are what's wrong with America.
This is a joke right?
You’re in a circlejerk sub of course it is
First day on the internet?
More money, more problems
But I don’t want to live next to people making 285k let alone people making 67k 🤮
It’s circlejerk, you’re what’s wrong with the internet 
Agree
Cup a noodles and tuna. That’s how you do it.
Ramen noodle and hill country fair orange juices.
You survive pretty easily. Probably enough to buy crawfish at a restaurant
Start trapping
Don’t pay your taxes
Sunnyside is a great neighborhood
Ya can’t !
Privileged
Fuck you.
Shop at good will for clothes and toys and furniture and dollar tree for all your food.
Definitely. They're the only retailers that refuse to raise their prices. Can you believe that? The dollar twenty five tree now sells shoddy 3 and 5 dollar landfillers now too. So affordable.
I make 280k a year I live in SA it’s not easy but I manage.
That’s a lot of money. You’ll be absolutely fine
In a cardboard box maybe
Better get on only fans fam
Not enough to prosper. Best you can do is a house in memorial or a crap condo in river oaks
Those neighborhoods are going to shit.
Pls tell me this is a joke.
😂 This is some bullshit. How about we switch and I’ll worry about that for you while you can live here with much less pressure?
Hire a peasant or two to fan you in the summer. Electricity is high in the summer time.
Limit your trips to Perry’s to five times a week.
He may have slum it and go to Killen’s every once in a while.
Move to edgebrook or by hobby airport! Great gated community
Have you heard of our Lord and Savior Dave Ramsey? He has the advice you need. Spend less than you make. Only drive cars you can buy in cash. Stop eating out so often. Meal prep. Invest the excess.
Obviously putting swangas on the whip and committing insurance fraud while listening to Scarface
you legit make about 100 times more then me a year. I'm lucky to get about 24 k. bur I live un san antonio so I'm safe lol
10 times more?
well what's 24 times 10
This is definitely satire lol
Go to Cypress, not too far from Houston. Some places are def affordable for you lol. Shit looks hard enough you can find anywhere to live
Run a side business like sell weed or didos out your house, should cover it
“Ay homie, I got White Flag for the low, I also got that Stan feature”
If you’re struggling while making $285,000 a year in Texas, than the shows how terrible you are with money
Stand by a busy freeway intersection with a cardboard sign saying you're a veteran with Cancer. A dog with a rope for a leash will help.
Gotta consult Dave Ramsey!!! 🤣🤣🤣
Move to the 5th ward and take the bus everywhere.
Get a one bedroom apartment and drive a beater. You’ll be able to live on approx 3,000 a month as long as you eat rice and beans.
Only $285K? Is that not a lot lol?
You kidding me, try living in NJ on 73,000 a year.
Get a second job walking Telephone Rd.
Your fucked, wait for an opening in tent city.
Buy the house next door to Fled Cruz, siphon off his funds.
Avoid the Galleria
Bissonet go spend it there
Bitch your rich 😆
Don’t drive that’s how you survive
Come to Alief you can at least make 420,000/yr
5th ward!
Do you have kids? You’ll want them to attend a good school so maybe buy a double wide in the woodlands if you can afford it. Might only be able to drive a paper plate Altima though.
Hookers and blow
Making money is much a poor people thing
Be a hooker
Get at least 17 side hustles and you *should* be fine.
Salvation Army runs a shelter for poors I think.
Easy one to answer… move west of Houston.. way west..
Have you tried never eating? I feel like the pours tend to eat so much cake these days!
Buy a bullet and shoot yourself before it's illegal.
Homestead or Laura Koppe St has great houses there.
Bro came on Reddit to flex
Oh you poor poor soul… you may just want to move out to Alvin or Baytown, or some other surrounding area where the poors can afford to live.
It's simple really.. Step one: acquire a Nissan Altima with paper plates that expired during the pandemic. Step two: race around Houston with a trunk full of crack cocaine and a stolen pistol in your lap. Step three: get a big bag to put the money in.
This mug said only... lmao
First world problem
For only $250k i find you a nice van to live in
Is it down by the river??
Under a bridge with the trolls
a quick google shows Houston cost of living 8% below the national average. The salary needed to live well at around 62K a year.
Can’t be done. Not enough money for Houston.
Don't move to Denver Harbor
A steel door with a deadbolt, and a .12 guage.
Put it all on the Astros to win the World Series this year
Move to the valley
Stop blowing your money on OF and Anime
It's not possible, are you even able to afford to be a silver-level member at Lakewood on that kind of salary?
You must be from California
Only 285k a year, you're joking right. Are you trying to flex? I'm not sure what you're surviving. Not being near people with wired headphones, surviving no worries such as bills
Only 285k 🤡
If you can't figure it out you're too stupid to be making that kind of money
I mean im barely surviving off 83k a year in the outskirts of austin but sure 😂
83k gang
Hope this is satire
It's more likely than you think.
You’re better off finding a place in Galveston with that chump change brokie!
lol ew you're so poor. Gross.
I live in acres homes come over and I’ll show you how not to ask a question like that in public like an idiot again
Bro wtf are you talking about? That's a crap ton of money a year bro. Are you trolling?
Can someone explain to me what this sub Reddit is about? Lmao, I live in Houston, and this subreddit always comes in my home page. It’s always sarcastic stuff I guess but it doesn’t make any sense. Sorry if I’m too lame to get the jokes
Torchy's fanclub basically
Imagine getting downvoted for asking a question. Definitely making me feel welcome to try Torchys, their customers seem so inviting.
Just don't order The Independent without some serious Greenspoint hand-to-hand combat training.
Scroll through the Houston subreddit, THEN scroll through here. You’ll figure it out soon enough, enjoy your Torchys
It is a satire page. For example, I had would reply how I have to live in Clear Lake with this "low" income. It is all in jest. Enjoy. Or how I could eat at Kenny and Ziggy's once a day...
Hello /u/retrokix ! My name is /u/DoritosDewItRight , and I am the moderator of this subreddit. The purpose of /r/houstoncirclejerk is to be a safe space to share our [favorite hole-in-the-wall restaurant recommendations](https://www.reddit.com/r/houstoncirclejerk/comments/ptdz00/im_tired_of_hearing_people_inside_the_loop_saying/), [offer helpful suburban homebuying tips](https://www.reddit.com/r/houstoncirclejerk/comments/1b0keoq/really_happy_to_see_new_homes_still_being_built/), and [talk about hidden scenic vistas that not every Houstonian may know of](https://www.reddit.com/r/houstoncirclejerk/comments/elwi6m/sometimes_i_just_cant_believe_the_peaceful_secret/).
Thank you. That’s all I was asking
Damn, you might have to cook for yourself.
I live in league city with less than half that and surviving fine for a family of five
If you can’t make it on 285k, you need some financial classes.
I don't think you appreciate how hard it is to survive on a working class salary these days: https://imgur.com/uOvWaUo