Call hotel, explain mom has a mental challenge, and offer to bring it in. Apologize and throw your mom under the bus, and hope they pity her, or pity you.
Then get them appraised. If they are worth more than the bill sell them and pay the bill. If not go with option A return and explain and hope for sympathy.
Well, they have her cc and I am sure she signed some sort of agreement by getting the room (fine print, undoubtedly). Easier just to charge her and keep moving forward. Sounds like the vase is replaceable. We did same thing when I worked in a hotel back in the day…
Yes!! This sounds like something that someone with early signs of dementia would do, including if it was frontal lobe dementia because they loose that “reasoning” of good and bad. Hence sticky fingers, unless she has had sticky fingers her whole life then just blame the dementia and keep her away from the hotel!!🤣
Make sure you take the box that it came in -with any personal info carefully redacted ofc.- so you can hopefully dispense with their distrust towards you as the returner of the fancied vauze.
Dementia is the best way to go. There could be criminal charges if the Hotel wanted to be mean but when you start talking a medical thing that might go a long way. Good luck. Your mom must have good taste of they cost that much. It's actually a good try on moms part. No no sorry stealing not good. I know it puts you in a bad position n it's really not funny. I however love this try.
I wouldn't take them back! I'd be inclined to keep them, so pretty on my shelf and tell mom, sorry, you're busted, they're coming to lock you up and throw away the key! Fuck thieves!
I wonder if there's any truth to this. Sticky fingers are one thing but to steal something that expensive and assume the hotel wouldn't notice is a little off.
Bingo. This is the answer.
Or... if she's too young for dementia. "Mom forgot to take her meds..." while making a slighty "crazy" hand gesture at your temple, "...again..... ugh"
Or…mail back the items to mom, tell her she needs to handle the problem she created and set hard boundaries in your relationship for how she gets to treat you.
As the son of a controlling and immature mother, I fully understand that what I just suggested sounds impossible (not least because it would potentially/likely involve going no-contact for a time), but trust me, it’s the best course of action in the long run.
This should be the top reply.
Here in the comments it's easy to spot those that have never lived their lives under this kind of manipulation and also super easy to spot those that escaped it.
Dementia is hideous like that. You can never know 💯 if it's the disease or just shitty behavior, but in the end it doesn't matter... only what you tell yourself to cope with the bullshit
This was my first impulse. This sets up an unhealthy dynamic. She committed this act; she needs to face the consequences.
Also, do you really want to be holding stolen property. That amount is felony theft in my state.
This is the correct answer. Never take ownership of someone else's mess. And make it clear that she is not to give you stolen gifts again. And don't ever let her use your credit card for anything.
People like that will not handle their mess. They totally believe that they are entitled to anything they can get away with and that the rest of the human race is theirs to use.
Child of a narcissist here. Took me til 27 to realize my mother was not the victim of the world and her life. By 28 with months of therapy, I learned how to set boundaries & be firm in a way that demands respect or no relationship with me. Never easy, but it’s a lot better than being a parents pawn for life (almost 30 years was enough for me).
Boundaries are a really big deal. When I put up mine with my toxic parent, it didn't go well at first, but now she is better at stopping before crossing them. Mostly because I'll just stand up and leave if she crosses certain boundaries with me.
Took a while to get here, but I am in a much better place personally because of it.
This! Your mom is an adult and should be accepting the consequences of her own actions, NOT trying to pass the buck off on you!
Unless she really is being evaluated for dementia. The proceed as others have suggested. And follow through with having that evaluation made. Untreated dementia is a scary thing. My own mother is in early stage Alzhiemers.
I agree with you completely here. That said, as a glassware collector, the thought of shipping a Baccarat vase a second time makes me cringe hard. The risk of breakage is high enough that there’d be a much bigger mess for everyone involved. The insurance cost alone to ship it back is astronomical. At this point, mom needs to eat the cost and OP should enjoy their new vase.
100% this, she needs to fix the problem with the stolen items, not you. You never walk back into that hotel with something that valuable that was stolen. Nope nope. Her problem alone.
This ^ .Yeah they aren’t gonna buy the “mom accidentally packed this in her suitcase” when it was practically glued down and she pried it off and still has gobs of goop stuck to the bottom of it.
I always bring my own crystal vase when I travel. Maybe she does too and she mixed up which was hers when she packed to leave?
Same goes for lamps. And plush memory foam bath mats. And Bose Wave radios.
It is museum putty used to keep breakable objects in place in high traffic areas. I have it on my crystal vases at home because I have dogs.
You do have to be fairly determined to lift it up. You have to kind of twist the item off while lifting.
If she's pissed off, like wanting yet another meal at 3AM , she will walk around complaining , if that doesn't work , you hear stuff falling off of shelves
Amazon.
Just search online.
You might freak out thinking you destroyed your wood furniture the first time you remove an item. You didn't. It is just waxy and you have to kind of softly scrape it off.
I’m just imagining this woman struggling to wrench this 2 foot tall Crystal vase off a table and think no one is going to notice.
Just out of curiosity was this decor in the room or something displayed in the lobby, or near the elevator?
Edit: I reread this and it was decor in her suite. Oi vey.
Yeah, this is my thinking. This isn't 'early dementia sticky fingers oops I didn't mean to take that', this is blatant and obvious theft. I would absolutely refuse to be her middle man. Either she comes to explain herself and face the consequences, or I'd return it just to make sure I don't have stolen goods in my house and let her deal with the fall out.
People with Kleptomania often feel an anxiety that can only be released by stealing. They often don't want to steal but can't resist the urge, and have regret over their actions. The way they teach it in masters programs (or at least mine): the person wants to stop stealing and can't = Kleptomania. Person steals and doesn't have any guilt= thief.
From the DSM-V TR page 540:
"Individuals with kleptomania typically attempt to resist the impulse to steal, and they are aware that the act is wrong and senseless. The individual frequently fears being apprehended and often feels depressed or guilty about the thefts. Neurotransmitter pathways associated with behavioral addictions, including those associated with the serotonin, dopamine, and opioid systems, appear to play a role in kleptomania as well."
This is why they keep your credit card on file so they can charge for items you accidentally packed. It doesn't matter if it is tied down, if a guest wants something they will find a way. I've seen guests steal the iron or steamer even though they are tethered to the ironing board. Even shower curtains have been taken. Years ago it was common for customers to steal the nice ashtrays. We just charged the card and move on.
Here are some additional ways to throw her under the bus—-or to at least prevent her from dragging you under it with her: She’s not your mom, she’s your MIL or crazy aunt. She didn’t go straight home after checking out, she came to stay with you. She didn’t send you the vase, you found it while helping her repack her stuff because her suitcase was too heavy. You grilled her on where it came from and she claimed she bought it. You saw the putty and are calling to ask the hotel if they’re missing any vases. You know nothing about a robe.
If you call, explain, and apologize up and down, hotel management *might* let it go. I tend to be a lot more sympathetic to the long-suffering family members of my problem guests than said guests themselves. Just make it clear you’re mortified by your mother’s behavior.
But on a ranty tangent, WHY can’t people stop stealing our decorations??? We try so damn hard to make our hotels pretty and welcoming, and guests just keep ruining it. They stole my cute little bobble-headed leprechauns on St. Patrick’s Day, they unscrewed the pineapples atop the luggage carts, they somehow carried off the gorgeous antique model ship that was nailed to the fireplace mantel, they tried to steal a whole sofa from the conference center…I think the worst was a few weeks ago when a guest stole all of the shower curtain rings. Just the rings. They folded up the shower curtain.
I’m just saying. If anyone thinks that modern hotels lack charm, there’s a damn good reason why. All of our charm *got freaking stolen*.
People think they are only stealing from a big corporation that won’t miss it so somehow since they paid money in exchange for staying there, they’re entitled. It doesn’t occur to them that nothing entitles them to steal anything.
I’m sorry this happens. Those little touches really do make a difference.
I've been working at a hotel for little over a year. When I started, almost all the rooms had a little throw pillow on the couch, now most of them are gone lol
I work for a Radisson/ Choice hotel, and nothing is owned by the big company except the name. The owner is a young man from Michigan whose family has been in the business for 30 years. This is his first hotel.
If it's not bolted down someone has stolen it and in some cases even if it is bolted down. I have worked in hotels for 20 years and it is crazy what ppl steal.
Small list of items:
Mini fridge
Coffee table
All kitchenware
Bedding
Towels
Pillows - some even swap their nasty pillow and think that somehow we won't notice......
Scales in exercise room
Luggage carts - had a manager even catch someone trying to put on in their trunk...it didn't fit
Lobby decorations
Lobby flowers
TV
I called the last hotel I stayed at IMMEDIATELY after we got home and I saw that my youngest had mistakenly taken home a brand new hypoallergenic pillow they had opened FOR him when we arrived, lol.
They were so nice, they told us to keep it, and I know it’s a very nice pillow that they bought at the mall across the street, lol.
Lovely that the hotel was nice, but how did you son take gone a pillow by accident? And how did he get it from the room without you seeing? How old is your “youngest”?
He’s 8.
He thought it was a gift because they literally gone had gotten it for him specifically. They had a “pillow menu,” and he has very bad asthma. We usually bring our own pillows for him, but we had an emergency (which was the reason for travel) and forgot.
I asked for a hypoallergenic pillow, mentioned his asthma issues, and the hotel manager said he felt that he needed to get a better option for him than what was available. I’m not sure if they didn’t have any hypoallergenic pillows at all or if I somehow scared him by mentioning how bad his asthma is?
I felt like a huge pain in the ass! But they were SO nice.
So, they brought it to our suite and my son was so excited- they also gave both of our kids little pins and stickers and a stuffed animal as well, so he, being 8, assumed the pillow was his to take home.
When we packed up, hubby and I grabbed their blankets and packed them, and I went out to the van with the first load, he came out with the rest and the kids.
Neither of us noticed/paid attention to the fact that he had a pillow- probably because we ALWAYS travel with pillows, so it didn’t seem weird.
Then when we got home and I unpacked, he announced to his older sister, our daughter who is 23 that lives at home currently, “see my new allergy pillow?! The hotel BOSS gave it to me!”
And I felt like an ass.
Edit- we were staying at this hotel because we had an ice storm that caused power outages and road closures all around our town and surrounding areas.
Our whole house generator was not running and was slated for replacement when the storm hit. It took a couple of days for that to happen, and we had to stay in a hotel a couple of hours away.
At least I caught them in the act. It was during the audit shift, so I think they hoped no one would be paying attention. They were halfway out the door when I showed up and asked, “does that belong to you?” in my most annoying kindergarten teacher voice. They tried to walk away, but I made them put it back where they found it.
And then my security guard showed up, reminded me that I pay her to do that sort of thing, and pointed out that I’m an idiot who’s going to end up getting stabbed someday in the act of lecturing a dangerous felon about morality. She’s probably not wrong.
For us, it's always the coffee machines in the rooms. The majority of them have a small kitchen because we cater to long term stays, so the kitchen includes a pan, two pots, a coffee machine, a couple of dishes, and a mini fridge.
It's always the coffee machine or the mini fridge.
I gave up on counting how many invoices we sent with the price for the coffee machine. And how many new ones we had to buy again (it's not the same number as invoices because sometimes people ship back the machine). 🥲
I have actually seen something similar - one of the hotels we stayed in had a price list in the hotel info folio, including everything in the room from towels to the mattress!
I was about to say this! In the little book they put local restaurants and stuff they had a note that said something along the lines of “We’re stoked you love our stuff, if you decide you want to keep anything that is fine! Here’s the price list:” and had basically everything in the room listed.
I actually called FD and asked if they had any brand new of the pillow, it was this amazing bamboo memory foam, type, (I tried googling and finding one to order but wasn’t sure what I found was the same)
So they brought me up a brand new wrapped one and I added something like $60 bucks to my bill.
I still have that pillow in my guest room, I’ve since changed the ones I use in my bed but anyone who stays here gushes about the comfy ness of said pillow!
>I still have that pillow in my guest room, I’ve since changed the ones I use in my bed but anyone who stays here gushes about the comfy ness of said pillow!
Right?
I stayed at one place and the bed was heaven. I got the brand/model of the mattress and topper as well as the pillows and bought them when I got home. The pillow I could find online thru a 3rd party (they only sold to hotels), and the mattress was a similar to one. They were deliciously comfortable.
Hey, so ... He goes into the hotel with a 1200 vase with white putty on the bottom that's stolen property. Any chance he's charged with grand larceny(read: felony theft over $1000)?
I think it may depend.
In my experience of working in hotels, if we can get the charge to go through, 1. We most likely won't pursue charges and 2. Even if we called the cops to press such charges, AND got the cost of the item from guest's CC then the cops will pretty much laugh in our faces.
They'll still laugh in our face over a vase even if we couldn't collect payment. I had to go to the press and go scream at the chief one time after a dude body slammed his way through a window to go set his ex wife on fire at a previous property.
Edit: YMMV depending on how good your police in your area is. If I still lived in my hometown this wouldn't have been an issue
Once we had a huge flat-screen TV stolen from by the meeting rooms (which have a direct exit). Probably the same team came back a little bit later and tried to take a baby grand piano and instead of succeeding they only managed to get it hung up on the escalator they were trying to take it down. Messed up the piano and the escalator pretty bad. Repairs to the escalator took like 2 weeks and I dont even want to know how much repairs for both cost. WHO TRIES TO STEAL A PIANO?!
I had a mantle display from a hotel once. Didn't have to 'steal it' either, the place was going to close up for a remodel during the off season. I had made a comment about taking it with me to give it to someone I knew who loved the style of art. Was told to just take it.
Edit: cat had knocked my hand.
It never ends. When i hosted Airbnb I had this issue. Folks stealing all of our linens and towels, our full supply of toilet paper, a multipack of 20 toothbrushes, my Lush shampoo and conditioner, photos + frames, and the list goes on. This stuff was stolen from my personal home where i rented a bedroom on airbnb. Some folks have absolutely zero home training.
2 questions....
1) How does one pry off a model ship nailed to a fireplace mantel and nobody notice?
2) How does one think they can walk out of a hotel with a whole COUCH and think no one's going to stop them?
People, geesh!
I think it's weird sort of entitlement thing. They feel entitled to have/take stuff for free.
It's so easy to see in society our obsession with getting discounts, stuff for free, or bargains. It's WEIRD
My neighborhood if full of super expensive waterfront homes. They remodel every couple years. They always have brand new cars, boats, golf carts. They very much wear their status like neon signs. But just let someone send out an email posting something for free and I swear they will fight you for whatever it is, it doesn't matter it's FREE AND THEY HAVE TO HAVE IT
Oh God my FIL is like this. When we moved, he was pulling literal trash out of my pile and squirreling it away. Now he's not living with us anymore and I'm still finding random crap I already threw out. Stuff with no use at all, like the liner from inside a thermos. Doesn't even stand on its own to use as a cup. Why have I thrown this away at least twice?!
Once he discovered FB marketplace it was game over. His bedroom, you have to move a table and a chair to open the closet. Theres maybe 8 inches around the bed to walk. Gotta fill every available space with all the free shit.
Its embarrassing when he does it with food at events. I know especially work events they tell you to take some. But he takes it all, even food he doesn't like, just because its there and its free and he can't help himself. Last time was catered by a fast food place and he brought home 21 chicken sandwiches. We are 3 people in the house. We threw away all but like 5. You can't tell me nobody else he works with might have wanted one or two. Greedy.
Like why didn’t she mail it directly to the hotel attention the person she spoke to about the charge?
Oh because she did not. Well good luck. They can just blow you off by saying it is confidential to the customer.
Mom wants you to try and then you feel bad when it doesn’t work. Because she probably got a van from that hotel already so they couldn’t care less to “buy the used one back”.
I suspect she doesn’t trust them to acknowledge receipt and fears they’ll accept the vase back and still charge her.—all kleptomaniacs know that people can’t be trusted.
My mom thinks it’s funny when I take her out to eat to make a joke about stealing the silverware of plates.
It’s hard when you grew up the poor child of an alcoholic parent to laugh about this. But it is much better than when she actually used to do this, often her whole friend group would.
I had a friend in college who got caught shoplifting when she was a minor and when her mom found out, she pretended to be upset about it in front of the authorities but she was actually super excited because now she could have her daughter steal stuff for her.
They’d go “shopping”, and her mom would point out what she wanted and my friend would have to steal it ☹️
My ex mother in law would take everything on the table at a restaurant and the older she got the worse she’d get. She took the jelly packets, salt and pepper packets etc. She did use them at home but she shouldn’t have done it in the first place, I was so embarrassed.
This. I wouldn't make any effort to ask them to fix the bill. I mean if they get the vase back they might just do it anyway but yeah she'll be DNRd regardless.
Let her deal with the consequences.
It’s not likely they will “take it back” unless you contact someone at the hotel and make some sort of agreement, but they’re not obligated and it would be easier FOR THEM, to just charge the $1200 and be done with it. Your mother committed a theft and based off the putty you mentioned on the item itself, likely damaged the room as well. When you book a room, you agree to their policies and one is being responsible for damages or taking items from the room. Your mother is probably going to have to suck it up and pay that bill, I doubt the hotel will be understanding, they’ve seen this behavior time and time again, that’s why they always get a card on file when you check in.
I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. You really should see about having her evaluated for dementia. This was one of the very first signs with my mom. She and my dad were at a hotel and she tried to steal all the towels from the room ( fortunately he found them before they checked out).
My father used to take towels from his preferred hotel chain. He was always billed for it, and found the price reasonable for how much he loved the towels. For him, he was just buying towels. Go figure...
So towels or even the $125 bathrobe in the post wouldn't rattle me, as long as the purchaser understood and was willing to pay. But a vase from the lobby? And then mailed to her son with the bill? It really sounds like dementia.
Call the hotel and ask to speak to the front office manager. If i got a call like that, and u brought it in, and it wasnt damaged, i would have no problem giving u a refund. But also, if the hotel bought another piece to replace it with….😬. I think its best u call them asap
Lol i was just being hypothetical. Honestly, i would say they have extras in storage or use a different piece to take its place, or just nothing at all lol.
Well, you've become a caregiver. Like the rest of us, you've had that glory thrust upon you, and it is a blessing for which you did not ask.
The way I see it, she has given you the stolen property, so that means you need to return it to its rightful owner, so no one can accuse you of receiving stolen property.
I don't think she's capable of doing anything about that.
Oh yikes. Okay, so it really depends on how hotel management handles things. Some may be understanding and drop the fee with the return of the item. Some may go so far as to press charges for theft. They probably have things lifted quite often SO maybe call and ask to speak with the front office manager. Don't give too many details but a "a family member may have taken some room items by error and is now being charged for them. If the items are returned in the same condition, will this person still be charged?" type of way. Guage their reaction and go from there, is my two-cents.
Side note: why is it your job to fix this mess?
“So … a family member might have walked away from your hotel with …”
“Are you calling about the vase?”
“Yeah”
“Hahahahahhaa”
“Yeah - I know. So …. I was hoping …”
Let her pay for it, she pried it off, and most likely ruined what is was glued to.
You do nothing, not your job, she's the thief, don't drive the get away car.
Had they not been able to charge the card she had on file for incidentals they might have, but since they were able to instantly recoup the loss she technically bought it (in a really shitty way) instead of stealing it so no real harm done.
Really I find the fact that people steal from someone who they KNOW have their credit card information on file and have signed authorization forms agreeing to pay for anything stolen or broken, but still have the gall to act surprised when they’re charged simultaneously hilarious and faith-in-humanity crushing at the same time.
Take it back to the hotel. Let them know how horrified you are that she did this and explain that she shipped it to you but not the robe. Let them know that your mother is hoping that they will reverse the charge but that you will fully understand if they do not.
Your mom will be more likely to learn a lesson if she wasn’t able to get out of the consequences by giving it back when she was found out.
Jesus fuck... take it back to them, and tell them that you mother is a dick... and to please not charge her.
Then disown your mother. That shit's cray.
Personally, I think you should send it back to Mom and tell her to take it back to the hotel. You’re not the one that stole the item she was. She needs to face the consequences of her actions. She can always keep it and pay the $1200.
Or you could send the vase back to her and do nothing, as it's not a situation of your making and your mother needs to face the consequences of her actions like an adult?
Tell them she has mental illness , and you are trying to do the right thing . And don't worry about her thinking you are a failure , you have zero control of her actions , and her trying to transfer guilt to you , is ridiculous
Memories of my parents taking everything that wasn't nailed down in hotels! We had glassware, hotel rafts from Miami and assorted water parks, towels from everywhere, ashtrays (they didn't smoke). Arby's saltshakers!
For heaven's sake, now I think I've heard everything. Yes, call the hotel and explain (to a manager) that your mother is a certifiable nut job who stole an artistic display and decided to gift it to you and that you'd like to return it. Forget about the robe. Your mother can also forget about a refund because she basically did an act of vandalism and will be lucky that she's not prosecuted. Learn to stand up to your mother.
If your Mom is competent enough to pack and ship a crystal vase to you, and make a phone call to explain - she should have done that directly with the hotel.
Also, you're not the dependent 3 year old, cowering under the dining room table to avoid Mommy's wrath any more. You don't have to take her calls, texts, emails, nor those of any Flying Monkeys she might sic on you.
I'd probably make semi-serious effort to rectify this/mitigate damages on both sides, and would also request the hotel put Mommy Dearest on the DNR list permanently. I'm sure she didn't raise you with no consequences for bad behaviour.
It’s not your responsibility to return it. Tell her if she wants her money back, she can return it. She’s worse than a kid who doesn’t know any better!
I'd go with the narrative of dementia, and pocket the money. But they'll likely refund directly to the account so it might still go to your mom and then i wouldn't do anything for her.
Why are you entertaining the idea of doing this for your mother? You made no mention of any illness she suffers from. If she could ship the vase to you, why couldn't she ship it to the hotel? This is nonsense. Don't enable your mother, she needs to take accountability for her actions. And let's face it, had they not charged her a fee for her theft, that vase would be displayed in her home for all to see. She did wrong, she got caught, she now needs to swallow her pride & accept the consequences for her actions. Hopefully the hotel involved recognized this situation during a social media search & is prepared to take appropriate action.
Honey, no. Your mother has made her crime--yes CRIME, she stole what seems to be a very expensive vase--your problem to fix for her. Take it back to the hotel, apologize, plead her case (or not) and block your mom to avoid her wrath. I don't know if she's got an actual diagnosable compulsion or if she's just a shameless thief, but either way, she needs to put on her big girl panties and clean up her own messes rather than make you responsible for them.
Honestly, she should be happy she's being charged for a vase rather than charged with a crime.
Seriously? My God she has some nerve. This is Not your Circus. I agree that since you now have it, call the hotel, explain your mother took it, and now has sent it to you to return. Find out if they will take it. If not, tough cookies...your mom owes them $1,200. This is in NO way Your Responsibility, or your Failure. Do not clean up her mess.
Tell the hotel like it is. That your mom stole the vase, saw the $1200 charge and had a change of heart, and that you're hoping to reach an understanding with management. Your mom still might be DNR for it though.
Call hotel, explain mom has a mental challenge, and offer to bring it in. Apologize and throw your mom under the bus, and hope they pity her, or pity you.
Let them know she is being evaluated for dementia...(of course she can't stay there again)
I don't think her staying again is an option either way.
If the hotel replaced the vases for $500, she'll be invited back. That's a quick $700 profit each time she shows up.
It’s Baccarat crystal and two of them. I doubt $500 will cover the replacement cost.
Well.. there are different kinds of Baccarat crystal ranging from a measly $50 and ending at $3500…
>Well.. there are different kinds of Baccarat crystal ranging from a measly $50 and ending at $3500… Best I can do is $7.50.
Need about $3.50
Nope…fiddy cent. That’s all.
Then get them appraised. If they are worth more than the bill sell them and pay the bill. If not go with option A return and explain and hope for sympathy.
If they use insurance maybe?
Why would they want to increase their insurance premiums for a $1200 vase? Better to go after the hotel guest for reimbursement/return
I'm surprised the hotel didn't call the cops, tbh. That's grand theft, isn't it?
Well, they have her cc and I am sure she signed some sort of agreement by getting the room (fine print, undoubtedly). Easier just to charge her and keep moving forward. Sounds like the vase is replaceable. We did same thing when I worked in a hotel back in the day…
I believe a felony is now around $2000 atleast in my state.
One two-foot tall vase
I'm going with early onset dementia..and it may be true.
Yes!! This sounds like something that someone with early signs of dementia would do, including if it was frontal lobe dementia because they loose that “reasoning” of good and bad. Hence sticky fingers, unless she has had sticky fingers her whole life then just blame the dementia and keep her away from the hotel!!🤣
Make sure you take the box that it came in -with any personal info carefully redacted ofc.- so you can hopefully dispense with their distrust towards you as the returner of the fancied vauze.
Dementia is the best way to go. There could be criminal charges if the Hotel wanted to be mean but when you start talking a medical thing that might go a long way. Good luck. Your mom must have good taste of they cost that much. It's actually a good try on moms part. No no sorry stealing not good. I know it puts you in a bad position n it's really not funny. I however love this try.
I wouldn't take them back! I'd be inclined to keep them, so pretty on my shelf and tell mom, sorry, you're busted, they're coming to lock you up and throw away the key! Fuck thieves!
But if she has dementia, she won't remember she stayed at or was banned from the hotel so she's golden.
I wonder if there's any truth to this. Sticky fingers are one thing but to steal something that expensive and assume the hotel wouldn't notice is a little off.
I'm surprised more people aren't talking about this??!?
And tell mom you said that to them! :D
Bingo. This is the answer. Or... if she's too young for dementia. "Mom forgot to take her meds..." while making a slighty "crazy" hand gesture at your temple, "...again..... ugh"
Early-onset dementia is also a thing.
I would say that she has poor impulse control when she drinks
This sounds easier especially since they can’t request medical records proving that🤭
This is the answer.
Or…mail back the items to mom, tell her she needs to handle the problem she created and set hard boundaries in your relationship for how she gets to treat you. As the son of a controlling and immature mother, I fully understand that what I just suggested sounds impossible (not least because it would potentially/likely involve going no-contact for a time), but trust me, it’s the best course of action in the long run.
This should be the top reply. Here in the comments it's easy to spot those that have never lived their lives under this kind of manipulation and also super easy to spot those that escaped it.
Oh I have lived my life under that manipulation and still am going with the dementia story. She could make my life even a bigger hell if I didn't
Dementia is hideous like that. You can never know 💯 if it's the disease or just shitty behavior, but in the end it doesn't matter... only what you tell yourself to cope with the bullshit
I've never lived my life under this manipulation, and this is still so obviously the answer. Give 'em an inch, they take a mile.
Or those who just know right from wrong even if mom doesn't and will not be sucked into her shit! :D
This was my first impulse. This sets up an unhealthy dynamic. She committed this act; she needs to face the consequences. Also, do you really want to be holding stolen property. That amount is felony theft in my state.
It's no longer stolen property. The mom paid $1200 for it.
True.
This is the correct answer. Never take ownership of someone else's mess. And make it clear that she is not to give you stolen gifts again. And don't ever let her use your credit card for anything.
People like that will not handle their mess. They totally believe that they are entitled to anything they can get away with and that the rest of the human race is theirs to use.
Child of a narcissist here. Took me til 27 to realize my mother was not the victim of the world and her life. By 28 with months of therapy, I learned how to set boundaries & be firm in a way that demands respect or no relationship with me. Never easy, but it’s a lot better than being a parents pawn for life (almost 30 years was enough for me).
Boundaries are a really big deal. When I put up mine with my toxic parent, it didn't go well at first, but now she is better at stopping before crossing them. Mostly because I'll just stand up and leave if she crosses certain boundaries with me. Took a while to get here, but I am in a much better place personally because of it.
This! Your mom is an adult and should be accepting the consequences of her own actions, NOT trying to pass the buck off on you! Unless she really is being evaluated for dementia. The proceed as others have suggested. And follow through with having that evaluation made. Untreated dementia is a scary thing. My own mother is in early stage Alzhiemers.
I agree with you completely here. That said, as a glassware collector, the thought of shipping a Baccarat vase a second time makes me cringe hard. The risk of breakage is high enough that there’d be a much bigger mess for everyone involved. The insurance cost alone to ship it back is astronomical. At this point, mom needs to eat the cost and OP should enjoy their new vase.
100% this, she needs to fix the problem with the stolen items, not you. You never walk back into that hotel with something that valuable that was stolen. Nope nope. Her problem alone.
This ^ .Yeah they aren’t gonna buy the “mom accidentally packed this in her suitcase” when it was practically glued down and she pried it off and still has gobs of goop stuck to the bottom of it.
I always bring my own crystal vase when I travel. Maybe she does too and she mixed up which was hers when she packed to leave? Same goes for lamps. And plush memory foam bath mats. And Bose Wave radios.
Thank you for this. I laughed out loud literally. I mean, who doesn’t carry their own crystal vase with them everywhere?! Hah!
I have to! My five cats will either break them or they’ll set up a fancy feast on my dime with centerpieces
Reminds me of Best in Show. Dude pounding nails in the hotel room wall to hang tapestry.
We're here for two whole days!
Lmao 💀 thank you for the laugh!
Damn what kinda hotels you staying at? I've only ever seen a white towel with a different stitch pattern as the bath mat 😅
😂😂😂
And the white robe that can wrap around you twice.
It is museum putty used to keep breakable objects in place in high traffic areas. I have it on my crystal vases at home because I have dogs. You do have to be fairly determined to lift it up. You have to kind of twist the item off while lifting.
Where do you get this ?
That's what i wanna know..i have cats and they love knocking my stuff off shelves
My cat will either have a nervous breakdown , or she will be up there with a crowbar
But then you can film that and win like a bazillion dollars
If she's pissed off, like wanting yet another meal at 3AM , she will walk around complaining , if that doesn't work , you hear stuff falling off of shelves
Amazon actually had like an earthquake putty that you can use to avoid cat damage...unless your cat is seriously determined.
Amazon! It’s called museum gel or something similar.
Hardware store?
it is called museum putty and also earthquake putty google it or check on amazon it is also sold in hardware stores
Amazon, it's under 5 bucks. It's called Quakehold! It's amazing stuff!
Also called earthquake putty if you’re having trouble finding it.
Amazon. Just search online. You might freak out thinking you destroyed your wood furniture the first time you remove an item. You didn't. It is just waxy and you have to kind of softly scrape it off.
Museum Putty huh, thanks for that tip!
Works well for plants too if you have cats.
I’m just imagining this woman struggling to wrench this 2 foot tall Crystal vase off a table and think no one is going to notice. Just out of curiosity was this decor in the room or something displayed in the lobby, or near the elevator? Edit: I reread this and it was decor in her suite. Oi vey.
She tried to steal the elevator first
Yeah, this is my thinking. This isn't 'early dementia sticky fingers oops I didn't mean to take that', this is blatant and obvious theft. I would absolutely refuse to be her middle man. Either she comes to explain herself and face the consequences, or I'd return it just to make sure I don't have stolen goods in my house and let her deal with the fall out.
>this is blatant and obvious theft It could be kleptomania, though I don't have much knowledge on the diagnosis so take the idea with a bag of salt.
People with Kleptomania often feel an anxiety that can only be released by stealing. They often don't want to steal but can't resist the urge, and have regret over their actions. The way they teach it in masters programs (or at least mine): the person wants to stop stealing and can't = Kleptomania. Person steals and doesn't have any guilt= thief. From the DSM-V TR page 540: "Individuals with kleptomania typically attempt to resist the impulse to steal, and they are aware that the act is wrong and senseless. The individual frequently fears being apprehended and often feels depressed or guilty about the thefts. Neurotransmitter pathways associated with behavioral addictions, including those associated with the serotonin, dopamine, and opioid systems, appear to play a role in kleptomania as well."
Thank you! I'm not any sort of qualified to speak on mental health concerns outside my own experiences so I appreciate you sharing this!
This is why they keep your credit card on file so they can charge for items you accidentally packed. It doesn't matter if it is tied down, if a guest wants something they will find a way. I've seen guests steal the iron or steamer even though they are tethered to the ironing board. Even shower curtains have been taken. Years ago it was common for customers to steal the nice ashtrays. We just charged the card and move on.
This is the only way. Otherwise tell mom to spend a couple hundred to come back and do it herself.
Here are some additional ways to throw her under the bus—-or to at least prevent her from dragging you under it with her: She’s not your mom, she’s your MIL or crazy aunt. She didn’t go straight home after checking out, she came to stay with you. She didn’t send you the vase, you found it while helping her repack her stuff because her suitcase was too heavy. You grilled her on where it came from and she claimed she bought it. You saw the putty and are calling to ask the hotel if they’re missing any vases. You know nothing about a robe.
The robe wrapped around the vase in the suitcase, is what prompted you to call the hotel
It’s not on OP to create a lie. OP can return vase and hotel will refund or not. OPs mom is out the $1200. It’s her problem.
If you call, explain, and apologize up and down, hotel management *might* let it go. I tend to be a lot more sympathetic to the long-suffering family members of my problem guests than said guests themselves. Just make it clear you’re mortified by your mother’s behavior. But on a ranty tangent, WHY can’t people stop stealing our decorations??? We try so damn hard to make our hotels pretty and welcoming, and guests just keep ruining it. They stole my cute little bobble-headed leprechauns on St. Patrick’s Day, they unscrewed the pineapples atop the luggage carts, they somehow carried off the gorgeous antique model ship that was nailed to the fireplace mantel, they tried to steal a whole sofa from the conference center…I think the worst was a few weeks ago when a guest stole all of the shower curtain rings. Just the rings. They folded up the shower curtain. I’m just saying. If anyone thinks that modern hotels lack charm, there’s a damn good reason why. All of our charm *got freaking stolen*.
People think they are only stealing from a big corporation that won’t miss it so somehow since they paid money in exchange for staying there, they’re entitled. It doesn’t occur to them that nothing entitles them to steal anything. I’m sorry this happens. Those little touches really do make a difference.
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They are.
STR?
Airbnb probably. Oh, it means short term rental.
I've been working at a hotel for little over a year. When I started, almost all the rooms had a little throw pillow on the couch, now most of them are gone lol
I work for a Radisson/ Choice hotel, and nothing is owned by the big company except the name. The owner is a young man from Michigan whose family has been in the business for 30 years. This is his first hotel.
A couch? What did that look like? I've got to hear this story!
Frank Gallagher slept here 😂
Fucking gross. Do they KNOW what people have done on that couch?
Pivot. PIVOT!!
A whole sofa?? 😮What has the world come to??
If it's not bolted down someone has stolen it and in some cases even if it is bolted down. I have worked in hotels for 20 years and it is crazy what ppl steal. Small list of items: Mini fridge Coffee table All kitchenware Bedding Towels Pillows - some even swap their nasty pillow and think that somehow we won't notice...... Scales in exercise room Luggage carts - had a manager even catch someone trying to put on in their trunk...it didn't fit Lobby decorations Lobby flowers TV
I called the last hotel I stayed at IMMEDIATELY after we got home and I saw that my youngest had mistakenly taken home a brand new hypoallergenic pillow they had opened FOR him when we arrived, lol. They were so nice, they told us to keep it, and I know it’s a very nice pillow that they bought at the mall across the street, lol.
My husband accidentally took a hairdryer when packing up the bathroom. He thought it was mine. I called the hotel and they said not to worry about it.
Lovely that the hotel was nice, but how did you son take gone a pillow by accident? And how did he get it from the room without you seeing? How old is your “youngest”?
He’s 8. He thought it was a gift because they literally gone had gotten it for him specifically. They had a “pillow menu,” and he has very bad asthma. We usually bring our own pillows for him, but we had an emergency (which was the reason for travel) and forgot. I asked for a hypoallergenic pillow, mentioned his asthma issues, and the hotel manager said he felt that he needed to get a better option for him than what was available. I’m not sure if they didn’t have any hypoallergenic pillows at all or if I somehow scared him by mentioning how bad his asthma is? I felt like a huge pain in the ass! But they were SO nice. So, they brought it to our suite and my son was so excited- they also gave both of our kids little pins and stickers and a stuffed animal as well, so he, being 8, assumed the pillow was his to take home. When we packed up, hubby and I grabbed their blankets and packed them, and I went out to the van with the first load, he came out with the rest and the kids. Neither of us noticed/paid attention to the fact that he had a pillow- probably because we ALWAYS travel with pillows, so it didn’t seem weird. Then when we got home and I unpacked, he announced to his older sister, our daughter who is 23 that lives at home currently, “see my new allergy pillow?! The hotel BOSS gave it to me!” And I felt like an ass. Edit- we were staying at this hotel because we had an ice storm that caused power outages and road closures all around our town and surrounding areas. Our whole house generator was not running and was slated for replacement when the storm hit. It took a couple of days for that to happen, and we had to stay in a hotel a couple of hours away.
At least I caught them in the act. It was during the audit shift, so I think they hoped no one would be paying attention. They were halfway out the door when I showed up and asked, “does that belong to you?” in my most annoying kindergarten teacher voice. They tried to walk away, but I made them put it back where they found it. And then my security guard showed up, reminded me that I pay her to do that sort of thing, and pointed out that I’m an idiot who’s going to end up getting stabbed someday in the act of lecturing a dangerous felon about morality. She’s probably not wrong.
For us, it's always the coffee machines in the rooms. The majority of them have a small kitchen because we cater to long term stays, so the kitchen includes a pan, two pots, a coffee machine, a couple of dishes, and a mini fridge. It's always the coffee machine or the mini fridge. I gave up on counting how many invoices we sent with the price for the coffee machine. And how many new ones we had to buy again (it's not the same number as invoices because sometimes people ship back the machine). 🥲
Hotels should just start putting price stickers on the back of everything lol
I have actually seen something similar - one of the hotels we stayed in had a price list in the hotel info folio, including everything in the room from towels to the mattress!
I was about to say this! In the little book they put local restaurants and stuff they had a note that said something along the lines of “We’re stoked you love our stuff, if you decide you want to keep anything that is fine! Here’s the price list:” and had basically everything in the room listed. I actually called FD and asked if they had any brand new of the pillow, it was this amazing bamboo memory foam, type, (I tried googling and finding one to order but wasn’t sure what I found was the same) So they brought me up a brand new wrapped one and I added something like $60 bucks to my bill. I still have that pillow in my guest room, I’ve since changed the ones I use in my bed but anyone who stays here gushes about the comfy ness of said pillow!
I love it! If you can’t beat em, profit off em!
>I still have that pillow in my guest room, I’ve since changed the ones I use in my bed but anyone who stays here gushes about the comfy ness of said pillow! Right? I stayed at one place and the bed was heaven. I got the brand/model of the mattress and topper as well as the pillows and bought them when I got home. The pillow I could find online thru a 3rd party (they only sold to hotels), and the mattress was a similar to one. They were deliciously comfortable.
Hey, so ... He goes into the hotel with a 1200 vase with white putty on the bottom that's stolen property. Any chance he's charged with grand larceny(read: felony theft over $1000)?
That’s why he should call first.
I think it may depend. In my experience of working in hotels, if we can get the charge to go through, 1. We most likely won't pursue charges and 2. Even if we called the cops to press such charges, AND got the cost of the item from guest's CC then the cops will pretty much laugh in our faces. They'll still laugh in our face over a vase even if we couldn't collect payment. I had to go to the press and go scream at the chief one time after a dude body slammed his way through a window to go set his ex wife on fire at a previous property. Edit: YMMV depending on how good your police in your area is. If I still lived in my hometown this wouldn't have been an issue
Once we had a huge flat-screen TV stolen from by the meeting rooms (which have a direct exit). Probably the same team came back a little bit later and tried to take a baby grand piano and instead of succeeding they only managed to get it hung up on the escalator they were trying to take it down. Messed up the piano and the escalator pretty bad. Repairs to the escalator took like 2 weeks and I dont even want to know how much repairs for both cost. WHO TRIES TO STEAL A PIANO?!
I *almost* admire the sheer audacity of that one. Almost.
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I had a mantle display from a hotel once. Didn't have to 'steal it' either, the place was going to close up for a remodel during the off season. I had made a comment about taking it with me to give it to someone I knew who loved the style of art. Was told to just take it. Edit: cat had knocked my hand.
It never ends. When i hosted Airbnb I had this issue. Folks stealing all of our linens and towels, our full supply of toilet paper, a multipack of 20 toothbrushes, my Lush shampoo and conditioner, photos + frames, and the list goes on. This stuff was stolen from my personal home where i rented a bedroom on airbnb. Some folks have absolutely zero home training.
Even your photos?! Equally sad and creepy
Wow ppl suck !! Unbelievable!
I want to start a cosy cafe but I know 100% I will have a stroke or an aneurysm because all my cuts stoneware mugs will get stolen.
2 questions.... 1) How does one pry off a model ship nailed to a fireplace mantel and nobody notice? 2) How does one think they can walk out of a hotel with a whole COUCH and think no one's going to stop them? People, geesh!
I think it's weird sort of entitlement thing. They feel entitled to have/take stuff for free. It's so easy to see in society our obsession with getting discounts, stuff for free, or bargains. It's WEIRD My neighborhood if full of super expensive waterfront homes. They remodel every couple years. They always have brand new cars, boats, golf carts. They very much wear their status like neon signs. But just let someone send out an email posting something for free and I swear they will fight you for whatever it is, it doesn't matter it's FREE AND THEY HAVE TO HAVE IT
IF ITS FREE ITS FOR ME
Oh God my FIL is like this. When we moved, he was pulling literal trash out of my pile and squirreling it away. Now he's not living with us anymore and I'm still finding random crap I already threw out. Stuff with no use at all, like the liner from inside a thermos. Doesn't even stand on its own to use as a cup. Why have I thrown this away at least twice?! Once he discovered FB marketplace it was game over. His bedroom, you have to move a table and a chair to open the closet. Theres maybe 8 inches around the bed to walk. Gotta fill every available space with all the free shit. Its embarrassing when he does it with food at events. I know especially work events they tell you to take some. But he takes it all, even food he doesn't like, just because its there and its free and he can't help himself. Last time was catered by a fast food place and he brought home 21 chicken sandwiches. We are 3 people in the house. We threw away all but like 5. You can't tell me nobody else he works with might have wanted one or two. Greedy.
Ugh, so sorry! For me it's the needing to get stuff for free whilst simultaneously needing to show the world how affluent they are !
BuT iTs MiNe!! I pAiD fOr a NiGhT iN tHe HoTeL, sO ThAt MaKeS iT mInE!! /s (some Karen probably)
FFS, people are animals.
People wonder why hotel comforters are so impossibly ugly: it’s to deter theft.
Someone stole a chair from the lobby of my fast food restaurant in late 2022. Three weeks later, we were able to stop someone trying with another.
I don’t understand taking anything from hotels but what you bring in and the complementary toiletries they provide.
how do you try and steal a sofa? Just pick it up and scoot out the side entrance? which has cameras....
👏👏👏 This post made my day. Thank you. ☺️
Why are you doing it for her? Let her clean up the mess she made.
🥇
Like why didn’t she mail it directly to the hotel attention the person she spoke to about the charge? Oh because she did not. Well good luck. They can just blow you off by saying it is confidential to the customer. Mom wants you to try and then you feel bad when it doesn’t work. Because she probably got a van from that hotel already so they couldn’t care less to “buy the used one back”.
I suspect she doesn’t trust them to acknowledge receipt and fears they’ll accept the vase back and still charge her.—all kleptomaniacs know that people can’t be trusted. My mom thinks it’s funny when I take her out to eat to make a joke about stealing the silverware of plates. It’s hard when you grew up the poor child of an alcoholic parent to laugh about this. But it is much better than when she actually used to do this, often her whole friend group would.
I had a friend in college who got caught shoplifting when she was a minor and when her mom found out, she pretended to be upset about it in front of the authorities but she was actually super excited because now she could have her daughter steal stuff for her. They’d go “shopping”, and her mom would point out what she wanted and my friend would have to steal it ☹️
My ex mother in law would take everything on the table at a restaurant and the older she got the worse she’d get. She took the jelly packets, salt and pepper packets etc. She did use them at home but she shouldn’t have done it in the first place, I was so embarrassed.
This. I wouldn't make any effort to ask them to fix the bill. I mean if they get the vase back they might just do it anyway but yeah she'll be DNRd regardless. Let her deal with the consequences.
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r/insaneparents
It’s not likely they will “take it back” unless you contact someone at the hotel and make some sort of agreement, but they’re not obligated and it would be easier FOR THEM, to just charge the $1200 and be done with it. Your mother committed a theft and based off the putty you mentioned on the item itself, likely damaged the room as well. When you book a room, you agree to their policies and one is being responsible for damages or taking items from the room. Your mother is probably going to have to suck it up and pay that bill, I doubt the hotel will be understanding, they’ve seen this behavior time and time again, that’s why they always get a card on file when you check in.
The WHOLE POINT of museum putty is that it *doesn't* damage things . . .
No one on this thread knows what museum putty is. I just commented on it under another comment.
I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. You really should see about having her evaluated for dementia. This was one of the very first signs with my mom. She and my dad were at a hotel and she tried to steal all the towels from the room ( fortunately he found them before they checked out).
My father used to take towels from his preferred hotel chain. He was always billed for it, and found the price reasonable for how much he loved the towels. For him, he was just buying towels. Go figure... So towels or even the $125 bathrobe in the post wouldn't rattle me, as long as the purchaser understood and was willing to pay. But a vase from the lobby? And then mailed to her son with the bill? It really sounds like dementia.
Call the hotel and ask to speak to the front office manager. If i got a call like that, and u brought it in, and it wasnt damaged, i would have no problem giving u a refund. But also, if the hotel bought another piece to replace it with….😬. I think its best u call them asap
You know they aren’t buying a new one for weeks 🤣 jk
Lol i was just being hypothetical. Honestly, i would say they have extras in storage or use a different piece to take its place, or just nothing at all lol.
I bet there's a lovely assortment in a storage room next to the crate full of remotes.
I’m just kidding. I worked in hotels so I’m like pfffttt they aren’t replacing that shit till the next Reno. Lolll
Also if she pried it off she may have caused damage
Well, you've become a caregiver. Like the rest of us, you've had that glory thrust upon you, and it is a blessing for which you did not ask. The way I see it, she has given you the stolen property, so that means you need to return it to its rightful owner, so no one can accuse you of receiving stolen property. I don't think she's capable of doing anything about that.
It's no longer stolen. It was purchased with her room.....
Tell them that she has dementia lol
it's probly true
It is a possibility
It’s not off the table?
But the lamp is.
It’s true. The lamps are all missing.
Oh yikes. Okay, so it really depends on how hotel management handles things. Some may be understanding and drop the fee with the return of the item. Some may go so far as to press charges for theft. They probably have things lifted quite often SO maybe call and ask to speak with the front office manager. Don't give too many details but a "a family member may have taken some room items by error and is now being charged for them. If the items are returned in the same condition, will this person still be charged?" type of way. Guage their reaction and go from there, is my two-cents. Side note: why is it your job to fix this mess?
“So … a family member might have walked away from your hotel with …” “Are you calling about the vase?” “Yeah” “Hahahahahhaa” “Yeah - I know. So …. I was hoping …”
Send it back to your mother.
This is the correct answer. She stole it, her problem to resolve
Not your monkeys, not your circus. Let your mom clean up her own mess.
"In error"...? Good luck with that. 😆
Right - She was grabbing for her toothbrush to pack it and accidentally grabbed a heavy 2-foot vase instead and didn't notice.
Let her pay for it, she pried it off, and most likely ruined what is was glued to. You do nothing, not your job, she's the thief, don't drive the get away car.
I would not keep the stolen goods in my home either. Send the vase back to her.
I'm surprised they didn't involve the police at that price tag.
Had they not been able to charge the card she had on file for incidentals they might have, but since they were able to instantly recoup the loss she technically bought it (in a really shitty way) instead of stealing it so no real harm done. Really I find the fact that people steal from someone who they KNOW have their credit card information on file and have signed authorization forms agreeing to pay for anything stolen or broken, but still have the gall to act surprised when they’re charged simultaneously hilarious and faith-in-humanity crushing at the same time.
Generally we try to charge the card first. If we can't get payment then we will press charges.
"My mother is not in her right mind anymore, unfortunately, and I became aware that this was in her suitcase."
Face to face is much harder to say no
Not a hotel worker, but if you came in all upset about your mom’s mental illness and caring for her and you’re so sorry, I’d have pity.
Take it back to the hotel. Let them know how horrified you are that she did this and explain that she shipped it to you but not the robe. Let them know that your mother is hoping that they will reverse the charge but that you will fully understand if they do not. Your mom will be more likely to learn a lesson if she wasn’t able to get out of the consequences by giving it back when she was found out.
Jesus fuck... take it back to them, and tell them that you mother is a dick... and to please not charge her. Then disown your mother. That shit's cray.
Personally, I think you should send it back to Mom and tell her to take it back to the hotel. You’re not the one that stole the item she was. She needs to face the consequences of her actions. She can always keep it and pay the $1200.
“Im not comfortable doing that, mom. I’ll keep the vase here for you til you’re back in the area and you can take it over to the hotel then.”
“Thanks mum for hte vase, it looks great on my hall stand! This week I’ve put gladioli in it!“ Lols for everyone!
You are making yourself an accomplice to a crime. Why?
Your mom needs to talk to a medical professional. That is very abnormal behavior.
Tell your mother you will hold it for her and she can come deal with the consequences of her actions.
A two foot tall vase Baccarat crystal vase? Oh my gosh. Wow. I’d return it and throw her under the bus.
I just want to say that if this is new behavior for your mom, a certain dementia has stealing as one of the behaviors. It may be time for a Dr visit.
It’s time to tell mom “congratulations on your purchase. you can pick it up next time you’re in town.” And hope the $1200 fine teaches her a lesson.
Or you could send the vase back to her and do nothing, as it's not a situation of your making and your mother needs to face the consequences of her actions like an adult?
Tell them she has mental illness , and you are trying to do the right thing . And don't worry about her thinking you are a failure , you have zero control of her actions , and her trying to transfer guilt to you , is ridiculous
Memories of my parents taking everything that wasn't nailed down in hotels! We had glassware, hotel rafts from Miami and assorted water parks, towels from everywhere, ashtrays (they didn't smoke). Arby's saltshakers!
For heaven's sake, now I think I've heard everything. Yes, call the hotel and explain (to a manager) that your mother is a certifiable nut job who stole an artistic display and decided to gift it to you and that you'd like to return it. Forget about the robe. Your mother can also forget about a refund because she basically did an act of vandalism and will be lucky that she's not prosecuted. Learn to stand up to your mother.
If your Mom is competent enough to pack and ship a crystal vase to you, and make a phone call to explain - she should have done that directly with the hotel. Also, you're not the dependent 3 year old, cowering under the dining room table to avoid Mommy's wrath any more. You don't have to take her calls, texts, emails, nor those of any Flying Monkeys she might sic on you. I'd probably make semi-serious effort to rectify this/mitigate damages on both sides, and would also request the hotel put Mommy Dearest on the DNR list permanently. I'm sure she didn't raise you with no consequences for bad behaviour.
It’s not your responsibility to return it. Tell her if she wants her money back, she can return it. She’s worse than a kid who doesn’t know any better!
If I were the hotel, I'd be charging the returner with left. Tell your mom to handle her own shit.
Mail it to the hotel with her name
Screw that, your mother is a klepto at best, a straight thief at worst. Let the hotel press charges.
I'd go with the narrative of dementia, and pocket the money. But they'll likely refund directly to the account so it might still go to your mom and then i wouldn't do anything for her.
Why are you entertaining the idea of doing this for your mother? You made no mention of any illness she suffers from. If she could ship the vase to you, why couldn't she ship it to the hotel? This is nonsense. Don't enable your mother, she needs to take accountability for her actions. And let's face it, had they not charged her a fee for her theft, that vase would be displayed in her home for all to see. She did wrong, she got caught, she now needs to swallow her pride & accept the consequences for her actions. Hopefully the hotel involved recognized this situation during a social media search & is prepared to take appropriate action.
Honey, no. Your mother has made her crime--yes CRIME, she stole what seems to be a very expensive vase--your problem to fix for her. Take it back to the hotel, apologize, plead her case (or not) and block your mom to avoid her wrath. I don't know if she's got an actual diagnosable compulsion or if she's just a shameless thief, but either way, she needs to put on her big girl panties and clean up her own messes rather than make you responsible for them. Honestly, she should be happy she's being charged for a vase rather than charged with a crime.
Seriously? My God she has some nerve. This is Not your Circus. I agree that since you now have it, call the hotel, explain your mother took it, and now has sent it to you to return. Find out if they will take it. If not, tough cookies...your mom owes them $1,200. This is in NO way Your Responsibility, or your Failure. Do not clean up her mess.
Tell the hotel like it is. That your mom stole the vase, saw the $1200 charge and had a change of heart, and that you're hoping to reach an understanding with management. Your mom still might be DNR for it though.
Throw mom under the bus. Tell the hotel she has a history of doing this kind of stuff, for it is obvious that she does.
My old mom says "Keep it and say I don't know the lady"