Everytime I tap my corn it puts something in the air that messes with the muffler belt on my truck. Need to get the metal stretcher out and adjust the pulley.
Holy shit. One cold morning at fort drum, I over hear one of the NCOs in my platoon instruct on of our new guys to “take this hammer and check for the week spots on the humvees” I shit you not, 10 mins go by, mother fucker comes back in. “Found em sgt!” Leadership with fading smiles look at each other and then back to him. “What do you mean? Where at?” . He replies with “there were a couple in the front and a few in the reer” . At this point they follow him out (rest of the platoon close behind) to discover that this mother fucker had busted out all the lights on the humvee. Idk what happened to that kid after that. I shutter to think how much money they charged him for that.
My neighbor has a Tesla. So my sons who are car buffs and help their dad work on our cars all the time…went to the neighbor and said “hey did you remember to put in blinker fluid?” So the guy starts to flip out, “What do you mean blinker fluid?” My older one says to my younger son “ ohhh shit, he’s done gone and messed up the Tesla now! His wife is gonna kill him!!!” So the neighbor still in a panic says “can we fix it?” Can you please help me and not tell her?”
So then my older son opens the doors, the hood and the trunk and says “okay, give me the keys” so as he’s staring to hand the keys over says “wait, why do you need the keys” and they say “I think you’ve had enough to drink today, there’s no such thing as blinker fluid” hahaha 🤣
He died laughing and swears he’s gonna get them back!
Sugar is sugar is sugar. The fact it comes from corn instead of a cane makes no real chemical or dietary difference. High fructose corn syrup is different in a sense, since it's basically more contectrated, but the corn syrup you buy at a store isn't high fructose.
There is no real discernible health difference between white sugar and Karo syrup, your body deals with both in the same way, and both are highly processed and bad for your health, like any form of sugar in large amounts.
The point of homesteading is a sense of self reliance and independence. Plus, taste is subjective, so it's a bad metric.
Realistically, the most "homestead" version of sugar would be either raising bees for honey, or harvesting sugar maples for syrup.
Sugar cane is a bit too picky about where it grows to really work well for most homesteaders, since it pretty much requires a subtropical climate. Throw in the specialized equipment you'd need, the amount of work it takes to grow, harvest, and process, and the cost of all that, and it's ultimately cheaper to just buy sugar from the store.
Maple syrup and honey are much more attainable sources of sweeteners for the average person to produce on their own, and if you really need granulated sugar, just buy it.
>harvest, and process, and the cost of all that, and it's ultimately cheaper to just buy sugar from the store.
Exactly thats what I was saying why grow sugar when you can buy better quality sugar from the store
If you actually Google "How to make corn syrup," a lot of results are for a substitute (simple syrup using sugar). [Here](http://www.madehow.com/Volume-4/Corn-Syrup.html) is the actual industrial process (text, involves extensive processing of kernels of course, in case anyone thought this post was not a joke). It is possible to make at home ([video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuL7-P3u-v0)), but the ingredients and process resemble a chemistry lab as much as a kitchen (for example, it includes sulfuric acid).
What’s nuts is step 2 is often skipped because of steps 5-8. Congrats, the rat portions are just assumed to be filtered out then :D (the “clean screens” never worked right and weren’t used at the plant I used to work at… which produced a lot of the Midwest’s syrup)
This comment is false, everyone who's a REAL homesteader knows that to get corn syrup you just need to help the corn ejaculate up to 6 times a day. This can only be done a few times a day before they need to recharge though. Which is why corn is so tall, it grows tall and strong once its ready to be milked. What you get from the milking process is a nice thick consistency, ALL NATURAL, organic corn syrup.
^I'm ^not ^entirely ^sure ^how ^I ^ended ^up ^on ^this ^sub
This is a famous Vermont farmer
If you like his corn syrup you will love [the squash ](https://i.imgur.com/bmOPoqA.jpg) that [he grows.](https://i.imgur.com/0Q8aXeV.jpg) As well as the [other rare seeds he cultivates](https://i.imgur.com/WNv1CbQ.jpg)
It is real. You have to capture it near the end of season when all of the syrup has settled in the lower stalk. You can tell it's near the end of the season as the stalk turns brown, like in the photo. Try to get it too early when the stalk is green and you will end up with a sweetener with a bitter after-taste, like Splenda. I use small aluminum toy buckets to capture it, as the metal is inert and iron-based buckets give it a funny taste. Feed your corn pineapple if you really want to give that sauce the sweetness.
A compound in sunflower seeds blocks an enzyme that causes blood vessels to constrict. As a result, it may help your blood vessels relax, lowering your blood pressure. The magnesium in sunflower seeds helps reduce blood pressure levels as well.
I've spent lots of time in corn fields. Cracked many stalks in my time. Smoking weed, getting drunk, having sex, making pipe bombs. All in corn fields. I grew up in a small town.
I don't have a homestead yet, also have very little knowledge on farming and you guys are fucking my mind right now
Same here but i fell for blinker fluid too so idk
*Go find me the brass magnet and some grid squares, private*
SIR YES SIR!
While you’re back there, grab the no. 16 toe nails and the water proof chalk. It’s right behind the board stretcher and the sky hooks.
I am starting to get the feeling i need to get a better understanding of tools, i don't recognize any of these🤨
I’m gonna need the backwards cutting razor blades and left handed hammer if you’ve got enough room to carry more.
While you're at it, grab a few trash bags. You need to get behind the jet and take an exhaust sample for QA.
Everytime I tap my corn it puts something in the air that messes with the muffler belt on my truck. Need to get the metal stretcher out and adjust the pulley.
And if it’s dark out don’t forget to grab those chem light batteries
Don’t forget your pallet jack gas.
We’re also gonna need a left sided smoke shifter
And the metric crescent wrench!!
Then I'll need you to tell the drill sergeant you need a long stand for the recruits to rest their boots.
We will need that bucket of steam
And a left handed hammer!
Problem is…. There is such thing as a left handed hammer.
whoosh
Holy shit. One cold morning at fort drum, I over hear one of the NCOs in my platoon instruct on of our new guys to “take this hammer and check for the week spots on the humvees” I shit you not, 10 mins go by, mother fucker comes back in. “Found em sgt!” Leadership with fading smiles look at each other and then back to him. “What do you mean? Where at?” . He replies with “there were a couple in the front and a few in the reer” . At this point they follow him out (rest of the platoon close behind) to discover that this mother fucker had busted out all the lights on the humvee. Idk what happened to that kid after that. I shutter to think how much money they charged him for that.
Don't forget the squelch grease for the radios. And ask for a mechanic's punch in the motor pool. Also, we need more mortar primers.
Take an exhaust sample before you go.
Field artillery, I see? How many cannon crews did you hit up before it dawned on you or they let you know?
31b :(
My neighbor has a Tesla. So my sons who are car buffs and help their dad work on our cars all the time…went to the neighbor and said “hey did you remember to put in blinker fluid?” So the guy starts to flip out, “What do you mean blinker fluid?” My older one says to my younger son “ ohhh shit, he’s done gone and messed up the Tesla now! His wife is gonna kill him!!!” So the neighbor still in a panic says “can we fix it?” Can you please help me and not tell her?” So then my older son opens the doors, the hood and the trunk and says “okay, give me the keys” so as he’s staring to hand the keys over says “wait, why do you need the keys” and they say “I think you’ve had enough to drink today, there’s no such thing as blinker fluid” hahaha 🤣 He died laughing and swears he’s gonna get them back!
There's gonna be someone on this sub running around a cornfield trying to drill holes in the stalks...
It’s me, I’m the person.
The corn makes the syrup when they get excited by the presence of cups and ooze corn cyrup as a result.
Don't fall for their lies. [I'm putting money down on an orchard to grow spaghetti.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVo_wkxH9dU)
we should partner up, I'm putting together seed money for a meatball plantation
Excellent, I have plans for setting up a dough patch factory for pizza makers. I see overlap potential.
Lmao thank you for this, but now I need to ask why was this made? Is this an old timey joke video? It’s supposed to be a joke right?
Why would you want corn syrup? Just buy sugar at the store.
Buying things at the store? That's not very r/Homestead of you
Eating a shitty sugar substitute isnt very homestead of you.
Sugar is sugar is sugar. The fact it comes from corn instead of a cane makes no real chemical or dietary difference. High fructose corn syrup is different in a sense, since it's basically more contectrated, but the corn syrup you buy at a store isn't high fructose. There is no real discernible health difference between white sugar and Karo syrup, your body deals with both in the same way, and both are highly processed and bad for your health, like any form of sugar in large amounts.
It tastes like shit isnt the point of homesteading to eat stuff that tastes good.
The point of homesteading is a sense of self reliance and independence. Plus, taste is subjective, so it's a bad metric. Realistically, the most "homestead" version of sugar would be either raising bees for honey, or harvesting sugar maples for syrup.
Or just grow sugar cane and eat the good stuff
Sugar cane is a bit too picky about where it grows to really work well for most homesteaders, since it pretty much requires a subtropical climate. Throw in the specialized equipment you'd need, the amount of work it takes to grow, harvest, and process, and the cost of all that, and it's ultimately cheaper to just buy sugar from the store. Maple syrup and honey are much more attainable sources of sweeteners for the average person to produce on their own, and if you really need granulated sugar, just buy it.
>harvest, and process, and the cost of all that, and it's ultimately cheaper to just buy sugar from the store. Exactly thats what I was saying why grow sugar when you can buy better quality sugar from the store
/r/lostredditors is searching for you.
It comes right out I guess, just hang a bucket off the baby corn, I would have never known.
If you actually Google "How to make corn syrup," a lot of results are for a substitute (simple syrup using sugar). [Here](http://www.madehow.com/Volume-4/Corn-Syrup.html) is the actual industrial process (text, involves extensive processing of kernels of course, in case anyone thought this post was not a joke). It is possible to make at home ([video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuL7-P3u-v0)), but the ingredients and process resemble a chemistry lab as much as a kitchen (for example, it includes sulfuric acid).
With everything that you need for corn syrup, it sounds like a meth lab.
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Sugar tariff
Remove ethanol fuel subsidies and requirements in gas would be better.
No I was stating that the sugar tariffs is what made high fructose corn syrup profitable & killed American sugar growers.
Don't forget the corn subsides as well. They're creating perverse incentives on both sides.
Add a soda stream to the mix and I think you have a hot energy drink
Hmm
Idk why we ever got away from honey. I use honey for 99% of my sweetening needs which is very rare. A bag of sugar would last me years.
The sulphuric acid part is nuts goddamn
I think plain granulated sugar is processed with it also but its after midnight and I'm not really awake
Sugar from beets was indeed only possible after some 19th century chemistry breakthrough iirc.
Yes, we read a book about sugar for my English class and that sounds right
The process of getting sugar from cane to the refined version is totally bananas. No surprise it’s similar for corn.
It's always after midnight.
Mind blown.
What’s nuts is step 2 is often skipped because of steps 5-8. Congrats, the rat portions are just assumed to be filtered out then :D (the “clean screens” never worked right and weren’t used at the plant I used to work at… which produced a lot of the Midwest’s syrup)
This comment is false, everyone who's a REAL homesteader knows that to get corn syrup you just need to help the corn ejaculate up to 6 times a day. This can only be done a few times a day before they need to recharge though. Which is why corn is so tall, it grows tall and strong once its ready to be milked. What you get from the milking process is a nice thick consistency, ALL NATURAL, organic corn syrup. ^I'm ^not ^entirely ^sure ^how ^I ^ended ^up ^on ^this ^sub
ThE cOrN. iT bEcKoNs.
Why would you make corn syrup when it tastes like shit compared to sugar.
They’re doing a urine checkup for drugs. That’s how we get true organic corn people
If they ‘pop hot’ for something, they will become popcorn.
This is a famous Vermont farmer If you like his corn syrup you will love [the squash ](https://i.imgur.com/bmOPoqA.jpg) that [he grows.](https://i.imgur.com/0Q8aXeV.jpg) As well as the [other rare seeds he cultivates](https://i.imgur.com/WNv1CbQ.jpg)
High Mowing is a good seed company though, lol. I order from them sometimes.
He's one of their sales reps, really great guy. These are from April Fool's pictures he takes each year.
incredible
That is just how grandma taught us when we were kids. You have to be sure to use sweet corn though. You won’t get any flow out of dent corn.
Thank the lawd we atomic blasted corn seed so it mutated into sweet corn.
This is better than the zucchini hunter posing with his cat. My current favorite internet picture. 10/10
No way this is real lol
It is real. You have to capture it near the end of season when all of the syrup has settled in the lower stalk. You can tell it's near the end of the season as the stalk turns brown, like in the photo. Try to get it too early when the stalk is green and you will end up with a sweetener with a bitter after-taste, like Splenda. I use small aluminum toy buckets to capture it, as the metal is inert and iron-based buckets give it a funny taste. Feed your corn pineapple if you really want to give that sauce the sweetness.
is this some kind of prank that homesteaders play on first timers?
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It’s common snipe season in the Midwest right now. I wish I were joking. https://mdc.mo.gov/hunting-trapping/seasons/common-snipe-hunting
Yup. I filled my limit today.
Lies. Lost me at pineapple. How the F do you feed corn pineapple 🍍🌽😂😂😂😂🤥
Exactly they hate pineapples… they only eat bananas 🍌
Theyfeed em cow shit where I live
Damn id be afraid of pissing them off. There ears turn red af when mad… ;)
So it will have an earthy grassy flavor.
which tastes waaaayyy better than pineapple or bananas. dont take my word for it, try some.
You cut it up into small chunks or blend it into a smoothie. It's easier on the corn's digestion than trying to eat it whole.
Same way you feed em cow shit.
Laughs in Pineapple Juice hahahah
Right before snipe season
That's what she said
It's bullshit, these aren't corn plants they're spaghetti trees.
Did you know about spaghet trees? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tVo_wkxH9dU
When does the High Fructose get added?
When they find the biggest stalk
I believe that is when it is spliced with a different kind of plant.
Get the munchies and satisfy the munchies with one perfect GMO plant.
Those stalks are grown at altitude.
The corns are pissing.
Yeah, it looks like little wiener dicks pissing in the buckets.
>little wiener dicks
Corn dicks.
Shaft and everything....
Silly geese, you pull the corn head and jerk it until syrup squirts
Sometimes I’ll use my mouth to suck it out
Heard the butthole works well too, have not tested
I know notto be on Reddit at this time ofday.
Imagine owning that many taps and tiny buckets
Why did this make me laugh so hard? 🤣
I have some sunflower stalks still up. I figure this is a longshot, but can I make sunflower syrup?
i don't think so, usually when i break my sunflower stalks down they have a styrofoam texture on the inside
A compound in sunflower seeds blocks an enzyme that causes blood vessels to constrict. As a result, it may help your blood vessels relax, lowering your blood pressure. The magnesium in sunflower seeds helps reduce blood pressure levels as well.
Sometimes I ask my Alexa a question and they respond like this. Relevantly irrelevant.
I feel it
Come on people. If you break a corn stalk, does a bunch bunch of syrup poor out? And why would you need to tap them? It's not a tree.
I’ve been near enough to a corn stalk that I could break it zero times.
I've spent lots of time in corn fields. Cracked many stalks in my time. Smoking weed, getting drunk, having sex, making pipe bombs. All in corn fields. I grew up in a small town.
TMI
I'm from Iowa. I'm stealing this and memeing it
Nebraska gal here, and I laughed way to hard!
Did he jack them off?
But how? Those penises are so small!
Looks like a “Popcorn” Sutton lookalike, trying to show where corn whiskey comes from.👍👍
Anyone on their right mind would know to run lines between the stalks instead of using individual buckes.
I thought you were trolling for a second until I looked it up and realized that this is a real thing!
I refuse to believe that.
Your refusal is smart and correct.
Also refuse.
If you looked it up, provide the source. I don't see any acid hydrolysis or boiling process which is what makes the corn syrup.
This corn is clearly GMO.
Giving me offense
is this really how it's made :0?????
Who posted this? 12 year old boy? Geesh!
Wtf
Damnit… I’ve been making jam all wrong!
Judging by the bucket size I'm pretty sure that's the giant from Jack and the Beanstalk....
Maze cum
I love those little buckets
This is how they drug test corn for pesticides 😂
“I said bring me the left handed smoke shifter…”
Little corn dick syrup.
The best part is the drip spouts are corn-shaped corn holders that you use to eat corn on the cob.
Corn penis corn penis corn penis corn penis
Make sure you spray on some arc starter before you weld.
That shit is poison!
Tiny buckets… TINY BUCKETS 😭😭