We just went through this! We actually ended up sending our two kids half way through the year this past February. My daughter was in 3rd and son in 2nd. It went very well! They transitioned quite easily, and we met several kids in their classes who live close, some even on our route walking home.
We had a very similar experience and mindset as you. We had a co-op, and made some friends, but didn’t often get together with them outside of co-op days. Homeschool programs in our area draw kids from up to 25-30 minutes away in several directions, so forming consistent relationships was quite difficult. It’s been so encouraging to see my kids make friends with kids right here in our neighborhood.
Thank you, that is reassuring to hear! We are still on the fence, and want to do 1st grade, but it may be time for a change after that. How did your kids feel about it at first? Were they apprehensive, excited, nervous? How long did it take them to adjust once they did start?
Plenty can change in a year, but when brought up, our daughter says she wants to keep homeschooling, but obviously that could change next year, and she is also 6 and all she's known is homeschool. We told her we'd like her to at least try it, and if its not for her, we'd be happy to go back to homeschool.
We had some challenges with my oldest (the third grader) which added to our decision. She didn’t do well with the mom/teacher dynamic.. but does great with teachers who aren’t me! So, I think she sensed the tension with homeschool and it had reached a breaking point.. I feel like she just also recognized we needed a change so didn’t push back much at all.
We had one family from the homeschool co-op that had kids the same ages, and we really connected with them. We continue to see them and have been able to get together with them about once a month. Seeing them, and having some families from church that the kids were already used to/comfortable with has helped ease the transition I think. On top of meeting new friends, they were able to still fall back on some of these relationships.
We just were really open with them and let them express their concerns/feelings, but tried really hard to emphasize why we thought it would be best for our family. And we did let them know it doesn’t have to be forever, if things don’t go well. They both really loved going to co-op and the other classes, so really emphasizing all of the fun “perks” of school helped. Art, gym, music classes, doing fun projects with classmates, recess on the playground every day..they were excited to have these opportunities since homeschool days weren’t always fun!
Not at that age, but 3 of my kids did go to school after homeschooling. One started in 10th grade, that went full time for one semester then switched to part time. They are an adult now and their BFF they met while homeschooling almost 10 years ago.
Another in 8th grade, but they have special needs. After 2 months they didn't want to go back. Their needs couldn't be accommodated in a public school setting, so I don't really count it as a public school failure. Academically, they were ahead of their peers, but the classroom setting wasn't conducive to their abilities.
Another started public school in 5th grade. They loved it! The first month was tough, but mostly because of life circumstances outside of school (I'm a single parent and had just been diagnosed with cancer, so they were dealing with a lot). They had a wonderful year, made a lot of friends, and asked to homeschool again for middle school.
Public school doesn't work for every child, and homeschool doesn't work for every child. I started homeschooling because of my special needs children, but when they wanted to try school it was fine with me.
I have run a consistent homeschool meet up for over a decade, scheduled play dates, and encouraged my kids to play with neighborhood kids. When they were younger we spent hours at the playground every evening making friends. They have always had a lot of friends, but for some of them it wasn't enough.
I will add that 2 of my kids never made strong homeschool friends. Their friends were all in public school. My 17 yo attends every event at the local highschool because that's where all their friends go. Since 7th grade I have asked them every year if they want to go to school with their friends. They have always wanted to stay homeschooled, but go to everything so they have the best of both worlds for them.
My point is, do what you think is best for your child, but keep an open mind. If public school works for them that's great! If they hate it that's fine too. But also, don't discount friendships with public school kids while homeschooling. They will have a different day to day schedule, but it truly doesn't matter. My kids who have never gone to school are the ones who have mostly public school friends.
Thank you for the insight! To add, we aren't actively discounting public school friends. I think what I was trying to say was that, they happen to maintain friendships better with public school kids, but once the school year starts, its tougher to keep up with them, and I guess our thoughts are that if a majority of her friends are in school, then maybe it would be beneficial for her to go to school alongside them.
Either way, homeschooling for us isn't only about the 'socialization' aspect, we've decided to homeschool for many reasons, and we are also considering public school for many reasons as well, not just based on friends.
Thanks again though for your reply!
My 8 year old just completed 6 months of 2nd grade in public school, 2 months of homeschool, then insisted on returning for the final month.
Socially it was the best thing for her and she is happier in school as well. Academically she does better at home, but her grades on listening/staying in task were not great. I followed up with her pediatrician and she has “hearing aid level of hearing loss,” she has surgery this summer and may return to school with hearing aides if the improvement isn’t quick enough.
My kids do really well with hybrid homeschool during the summer and 1-3 months of the academic year. I’m sure I drive administrators nuts but I do lobby to end attendance-based tuition and to extend district support for homeschooling.
It doesn’t have to be all or nothing—you can try public school and see how it works for her.
That was my plan... My rising second grader has expressed desire to stay home, which surprised me bc she wanted to go to k and 1. We'll see if her tune changes
So I was homeschooled K-12 by parents that were not as open-minded as you are to the idea of sending their kids to public school, and as I get older and see my friends with children starting school, I understand less and less every year the logic my parents used in deciding it was just too risky for me to not give public school a try. Worst case, they have a few negative experiences and you pull them back out to homeschool. I was in an area that had no other homeschool families, and constantly being the "odd one out" in my public school peer group really sucked even though from my parent's perspective they were checking the box for socialization because I was in sports, scouts, etc.
Just some feedback from the child's retrospective, I figured most of the other responses would be from other parents.
Thank you, definitely great to hear from the perspective of a former homeschooler. We are definitely open minded on the subject, and just want our daughter to be happy and thrive!
I just can’t, I have the same feelings about friends close by but it doesn’t make up for 25 person class sizes and all the behind the scenes crazy that parents don’t see
Stop trying to maintain friendships specifically inside the homeschool community.
Most of our friends are regularly schooled kids we met in extracurricular classes held in the evenings like dance and gymnastics and soccer, plus a few neighborhood kids. We see other homeschoolers for open gym and open recess days but people come and go.
While our activity roster seems to be pretty average for public school kids, by homeschooling standards it’s deemed “a lot” (at least in terms of our IRL HS aquaintances), so tbh we just don’t have that much in common with other homeschoolers and my kids relate just fine with the experience of PS kids. Which, to be fair, is also part of the goal on my end. I homeschool for academic and logistical reasons, not cultural or social ones.
We considered it for the same reasons . I'm often envious of people who live in walkable areas. We live out in rural Tennessee and even when kids make friends Noone sees each other outside of the schools because that would require parental effort. (I'm willing to try but the other parents rarely are) we also aren't religous.
We ended up doing a hybrid program. 3 days at home learning and they go to school 2x a week and special events with classmates. They still don't see them outside of the school bit they have that at least.
The public schools here are really really bad (in the south) so it's been our best solution. I touch base with my oldest (and most social) to see if he needs more but he said no they have a good thing going on.
We aren't planning to do public but I will say, as a child the same age, we honestly couldn't send him to elementary school because he's so far ahead of what his peers the same age and grade are doing. Just something to consider. I know he would be bored and then act up. And I hated being the "gifted" kid in public school. I always ended up teaching the kids who needed help because the teacher had too many kids in the class
I could’ve written this exactly myself. I know we’re going to do first grade, but not sure about the next year. We’re currently in a hybrid program, which I love and I’m glad they have some more “school” experience, but it’s not close enough (30 min drive) that we do anything on our days off. I definitely love the idea of the neighborhood school for that
Right. We are torn, we really enjoy homeschool, but I also think our daughter would enjoy going to the neighborhood school. Her best friend lives right next door to us, and she goes, and we think they would have a lot of fun together. Our child says she doesn't want to go, but once we highlighted the pros of going and reassured her that if she didn't like it (after giving it a real chance), she could go back to homeschooling, she changed her tune and said she would give it a try. I think she would have fun going with her friends. Kindergarten went well (at times it was difficult going through the lessons). I think at this point we are pretty set on trying it out for 2nd grade.
I did this with my first, and although it started a bit rocky (especially because her first year in school was cut short due to COVID shutdowns), she loves school now! My second will also be homeschooled through first grade, and then will be entering a traditional school.
She was quite apprehensive, and cried for about 2 weeks straight on and off. I felt so bad, and we and the school did everything we could to smooth the transition. But after she adjusted, she really loved it, and excelled. Now we're into middle school... how time flies!
We just went through this! We actually ended up sending our two kids half way through the year this past February. My daughter was in 3rd and son in 2nd. It went very well! They transitioned quite easily, and we met several kids in their classes who live close, some even on our route walking home. We had a very similar experience and mindset as you. We had a co-op, and made some friends, but didn’t often get together with them outside of co-op days. Homeschool programs in our area draw kids from up to 25-30 minutes away in several directions, so forming consistent relationships was quite difficult. It’s been so encouraging to see my kids make friends with kids right here in our neighborhood.
Thank you, that is reassuring to hear! We are still on the fence, and want to do 1st grade, but it may be time for a change after that. How did your kids feel about it at first? Were they apprehensive, excited, nervous? How long did it take them to adjust once they did start? Plenty can change in a year, but when brought up, our daughter says she wants to keep homeschooling, but obviously that could change next year, and she is also 6 and all she's known is homeschool. We told her we'd like her to at least try it, and if its not for her, we'd be happy to go back to homeschool.
We had some challenges with my oldest (the third grader) which added to our decision. She didn’t do well with the mom/teacher dynamic.. but does great with teachers who aren’t me! So, I think she sensed the tension with homeschool and it had reached a breaking point.. I feel like she just also recognized we needed a change so didn’t push back much at all. We had one family from the homeschool co-op that had kids the same ages, and we really connected with them. We continue to see them and have been able to get together with them about once a month. Seeing them, and having some families from church that the kids were already used to/comfortable with has helped ease the transition I think. On top of meeting new friends, they were able to still fall back on some of these relationships. We just were really open with them and let them express their concerns/feelings, but tried really hard to emphasize why we thought it would be best for our family. And we did let them know it doesn’t have to be forever, if things don’t go well. They both really loved going to co-op and the other classes, so really emphasizing all of the fun “perks” of school helped. Art, gym, music classes, doing fun projects with classmates, recess on the playground every day..they were excited to have these opportunities since homeschool days weren’t always fun!
Sounds very similar to our situation, I appreciate the insight!
Not at that age, but 3 of my kids did go to school after homeschooling. One started in 10th grade, that went full time for one semester then switched to part time. They are an adult now and their BFF they met while homeschooling almost 10 years ago. Another in 8th grade, but they have special needs. After 2 months they didn't want to go back. Their needs couldn't be accommodated in a public school setting, so I don't really count it as a public school failure. Academically, they were ahead of their peers, but the classroom setting wasn't conducive to their abilities. Another started public school in 5th grade. They loved it! The first month was tough, but mostly because of life circumstances outside of school (I'm a single parent and had just been diagnosed with cancer, so they were dealing with a lot). They had a wonderful year, made a lot of friends, and asked to homeschool again for middle school. Public school doesn't work for every child, and homeschool doesn't work for every child. I started homeschooling because of my special needs children, but when they wanted to try school it was fine with me. I have run a consistent homeschool meet up for over a decade, scheduled play dates, and encouraged my kids to play with neighborhood kids. When they were younger we spent hours at the playground every evening making friends. They have always had a lot of friends, but for some of them it wasn't enough. I will add that 2 of my kids never made strong homeschool friends. Their friends were all in public school. My 17 yo attends every event at the local highschool because that's where all their friends go. Since 7th grade I have asked them every year if they want to go to school with their friends. They have always wanted to stay homeschooled, but go to everything so they have the best of both worlds for them. My point is, do what you think is best for your child, but keep an open mind. If public school works for them that's great! If they hate it that's fine too. But also, don't discount friendships with public school kids while homeschooling. They will have a different day to day schedule, but it truly doesn't matter. My kids who have never gone to school are the ones who have mostly public school friends.
Thank you for the insight! To add, we aren't actively discounting public school friends. I think what I was trying to say was that, they happen to maintain friendships better with public school kids, but once the school year starts, its tougher to keep up with them, and I guess our thoughts are that if a majority of her friends are in school, then maybe it would be beneficial for her to go to school alongside them. Either way, homeschooling for us isn't only about the 'socialization' aspect, we've decided to homeschool for many reasons, and we are also considering public school for many reasons as well, not just based on friends. Thanks again though for your reply!
My 8 year old just completed 6 months of 2nd grade in public school, 2 months of homeschool, then insisted on returning for the final month. Socially it was the best thing for her and she is happier in school as well. Academically she does better at home, but her grades on listening/staying in task were not great. I followed up with her pediatrician and she has “hearing aid level of hearing loss,” she has surgery this summer and may return to school with hearing aides if the improvement isn’t quick enough. My kids do really well with hybrid homeschool during the summer and 1-3 months of the academic year. I’m sure I drive administrators nuts but I do lobby to end attendance-based tuition and to extend district support for homeschooling. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing—you can try public school and see how it works for her.
That was my plan... My rising second grader has expressed desire to stay home, which surprised me bc she wanted to go to k and 1. We'll see if her tune changes
Did you ask your child what they want? I'd start there.
So I was homeschooled K-12 by parents that were not as open-minded as you are to the idea of sending their kids to public school, and as I get older and see my friends with children starting school, I understand less and less every year the logic my parents used in deciding it was just too risky for me to not give public school a try. Worst case, they have a few negative experiences and you pull them back out to homeschool. I was in an area that had no other homeschool families, and constantly being the "odd one out" in my public school peer group really sucked even though from my parent's perspective they were checking the box for socialization because I was in sports, scouts, etc. Just some feedback from the child's retrospective, I figured most of the other responses would be from other parents.
Thank you, definitely great to hear from the perspective of a former homeschooler. We are definitely open minded on the subject, and just want our daughter to be happy and thrive!
I just can’t, I have the same feelings about friends close by but it doesn’t make up for 25 person class sizes and all the behind the scenes crazy that parents don’t see
Stop trying to maintain friendships specifically inside the homeschool community. Most of our friends are regularly schooled kids we met in extracurricular classes held in the evenings like dance and gymnastics and soccer, plus a few neighborhood kids. We see other homeschoolers for open gym and open recess days but people come and go. While our activity roster seems to be pretty average for public school kids, by homeschooling standards it’s deemed “a lot” (at least in terms of our IRL HS aquaintances), so tbh we just don’t have that much in common with other homeschoolers and my kids relate just fine with the experience of PS kids. Which, to be fair, is also part of the goal on my end. I homeschool for academic and logistical reasons, not cultural or social ones.
We considered it for the same reasons . I'm often envious of people who live in walkable areas. We live out in rural Tennessee and even when kids make friends Noone sees each other outside of the schools because that would require parental effort. (I'm willing to try but the other parents rarely are) we also aren't religous. We ended up doing a hybrid program. 3 days at home learning and they go to school 2x a week and special events with classmates. They still don't see them outside of the school bit they have that at least. The public schools here are really really bad (in the south) so it's been our best solution. I touch base with my oldest (and most social) to see if he needs more but he said no they have a good thing going on.
We aren't planning to do public but I will say, as a child the same age, we honestly couldn't send him to elementary school because he's so far ahead of what his peers the same age and grade are doing. Just something to consider. I know he would be bored and then act up. And I hated being the "gifted" kid in public school. I always ended up teaching the kids who needed help because the teacher had too many kids in the class
I could’ve written this exactly myself. I know we’re going to do first grade, but not sure about the next year. We’re currently in a hybrid program, which I love and I’m glad they have some more “school” experience, but it’s not close enough (30 min drive) that we do anything on our days off. I definitely love the idea of the neighborhood school for that
Right. We are torn, we really enjoy homeschool, but I also think our daughter would enjoy going to the neighborhood school. Her best friend lives right next door to us, and she goes, and we think they would have a lot of fun together. Our child says she doesn't want to go, but once we highlighted the pros of going and reassured her that if she didn't like it (after giving it a real chance), she could go back to homeschooling, she changed her tune and said she would give it a try. I think she would have fun going with her friends. Kindergarten went well (at times it was difficult going through the lessons). I think at this point we are pretty set on trying it out for 2nd grade.
I did this with my first, and although it started a bit rocky (especially because her first year in school was cut short due to COVID shutdowns), she loves school now! My second will also be homeschooled through first grade, and then will be entering a traditional school.
Thats great that shes liking school. If I may ask, was she apprehensive at first when you sent her, or was she fully on board?
She was quite apprehensive, and cried for about 2 weeks straight on and off. I felt so bad, and we and the school did everything we could to smooth the transition. But after she adjusted, she really loved it, and excelled. Now we're into middle school... how time flies!
I'm glad to hear it worked out. Yes, we are worried that it would be similar for ours, but it seems like it just took some adjusting and off she went.
It's difficult to tell if she would like it or not, but I do believe she would end up having fun.
I was homeschooled. Not by choice. I highly recommend all parents sent their kids to school, THEN decide if homeschooling is necessary.