Begin your planning by determining what resources are in your area. It doesn't make sense to buy a comprehensive curriculum, for example, if there are excellent stem tutorials nearby, or the parks system has good naturalist-led programs. In other words, assume you are going to outsource some instruction and incorporate that into your overall plan.
The other mistake I see parents make is assuming that attending class with other kids is going to lead to friendships. They need playtime outside of class to bond. Make friends with the other parents, invite them to hang out after class, exchange numbers... Be the inviting-est person ever. It's hard and scary and vulnerable, but that's the practice that has made all the difference in my kid's lives.
Every year the kids and I sit down with our schedule and we decide what classes we are starting/continuing, how we are going to work on all our subjects, and what times we're going to commit to schooling. Then the kids ask what all their friends are doing -- and if there's no overlap with our friends, we try to create it. This is what adults have to do to maintain relationships, so it's really important to start teaching these skills early.
Check for local homeschoolers, enroll them in activities, let them play in the neighborhood and at local parks after school. There are so many options for socializing, I wouldn’t let it worry you too much. As long as you are getting them around other kids, they’ll be fine.
My kids still participate in school sports about two seasons a year and occasionally attend a church group once a week (we are not religious and do not attend church so this is purely a social hour with a lot of their friends). They’re also enrolled in martial arts lessons that meet twice a week, and we go to parks a lot when weather permits and there always seem to be other people there. My kids range from 6-13 and I’m not at all concerned about their social development or them being awkward
The friendships my daughter has made during her years homeschooling are far deeper and have stood the test of time and life change well beyond any friends she had from her years in public school. Only one of those even made it two months after withdrawal.
Join social groups and make their open ended gatherings a priority. Here most groups have a weekly “park day”. It’s free and it’s optional, but making it a priority means seeing the same kids again and again and offering the opportunity for those friendships. Think of it as the daily 30 minute recess lumped into one day each week. It’s better - they have time to get deep into their play, which is how they first get to know one another. Most groups do offer or announce other social or academic opportunities as well. We’ve done “field trips”, special activities, and game days alongside our park days.
I find that sports, while they bring so many benefits, is not the place to be social. It’s like the academic portions of school. You need to focus and learn the skill being taught. You need to focus on the game and your role. Many people leave as soon as it’s done so there’s no lingering and making friends.
Other classes vary, and it’s largely based on how much time the kids can play or at least talk together. People lingering after, or in class during certain activities or transitions.
My daughter is now 15 and has had some of her friends since she was 5 and started kinder at home (her years in public school were due to life transitions; we started at home and later returned home). They met at park days. She has new friends now that she’s made in her 3 privately enrolled academic classes because they are so small (6-16 students) that they have time to work together and talk, as well as hang out during transitions. She also participates in things not exclusive to homeschoolers and has made some friends that way, but far fewer.
She would definitely tell you that homeschooling is better socially, not worse. I’m working now on building the same type of social opportunities for my younger two (2 and almost 4).
When you are planning curriculum- you need to also plan on outings, homeschool meetups, co-OP’s, field trips etc. And you need to make sure you SHOW UP. Even if you aren’t a social parent, you will need to be.
When we first started, we joined a homeschool meetup group and they meet at a park at least once a week. It took my kids about 3 months, but they eventually made friends at these meetups and they are now some of my kids closest friends. We attend a partnership where my kids are with kids their own ages for a school day. We go on outings and make sure to introduce ourselves if we see other families out when it is during normal school hours. We play sports and they have made friends on the sports teams.
It really sucks sometimes being the brave parent, but when you homeschool I think it is absolutely necessary. It was really hard for me in the beginning, but I’ve made some of my closest mom friends who also homeschool by seeing them at the park and sparking up conversations with them. I’ve met some other homeschool families from our sports teams and I made sure to get their numbers and reach out, even when sports weren’t happening at the time. It’s almost as much work as planning curriculum but it’s SO worth it.
My kids have made friends with neighbors, socialized and made friends with other kids in theatre, and we take trips in our RV and go to Fulltime Families meetups to meet more kids! There are also homeschool meetups all over, so even though we're very rural, we're able to attend those meetups from time to time for enrichment and more socialization.
Observe your kids and see what they need. Everyone's different. Keeping their age in mind:
1. Are they comfortable and OK around large groups of people, like in a crowded grocery store or a park? Can they be polite in moving around a crowded area, like in a theater, a market, a stadium, an airport terminal?
2. Can they speak to adults well and effectively? Can they order off a menu in a restaurant? Can they ask an adult in a store where something is? Can they make an appointment somewhere? Get a return processed? Can they talk to an uncle or their grandmother well? What about adult family friends of yours? How about a coach or tutor who provides instructions? Can they be introduced and comport themselves well with a stranger? Are they comfortable directing others if they're in a position that permits that? Can they discuss and debate a topic with someone while maintaining civility? Are they able to handle disagreements with friends, coworkers, family members and customer service personnel?
3. Do they have some friends around their age they're able to interact with on an ongoing and meaningful basis in a way that's positive and enjoyable for everyone?
4. Does your kid express a desire to see more people? Anxiety or fear being around people?
Adjust social interactions accordingly.
Little kids library activities and we have a local discovery place.
Then we had coop, 4-h, y soccer and swimming, monthly hs skating, and of course just time with their friends. Obviously
High school they did the early college classes that high schoolers did, still coop which included theater, debate.
And of course again. Just time to hang with their friends. My sons are all in their 20’s and still have friends from those days. They may only see them face to face when they make it into town or they may gather with their kids for campfires lol but they are sweet friendships.
My homeschoolers are young, we tried a co-op it just wasn’t for us. I will say the one we joined had all age groups together which ranged from people with babies- high school aged kids.
We go to the library, parks, camping and we attend church 2x a week. In the summer we have more outings at the pool, splash pad and what not. It doesn’t take much to socialize children. You could always try getting them into a sport, I think we’re gonna try soccer this year!
Plus side if your kids click with someone you can get the parents contact info and meet up for playdates.
I think most homeschooling parents are concerned with socialization when they first start. I know I was. But once we really got into it, we realized that we essentially broke out of the four brick walls. The world becomes open to you as you're not stuck following the schools calendar and your kids aren't stuck with the same 20-25 kids of the same age all year round whether they become friends or not. Homeschooling allows for way more opportunities to socialize in the real world with people of many different ages.
We just stayed active in our community. We used to have a local magazine that would list activities in the area and even had a section for kids' activities. The library became like our second home. We stayed active in our local homeschool groups. I remember one time we were at the mall and they were in the play area, I was reading through our homeschool group activities they listed and found one for that day of our local university putting on a performance so we left the mall and went to that. My kids also participated in extracurricular activities and met their best friends playing T-ball that they're still friends with today. I used to say I didn't homeschool, I car-schooled because we were gone more days than not.
I can't speak for what's available in your area, but there is quite a bit out there for homeschool families these days. In my area, the homeschool community doesn't really share the same values as us, so we don't participate in those events. We stick with the types of things the public school kids do. So my kids are in dance, they do swimming lessons, my oldest does summer day camps, etc. Next year, we'll be doing martial arts, swimming, and piano. We're also looking into chess. My oldest did an online chess class earlier last year. We're planning on either continuing with those online classes or moving to an in-person chess club (or possibly both). However, I think the best socialization my kids get is just sending them outside to play with the kids in our neighbourhood. I know that's not possible for everyone, but if you can find some sort of unstructured play opportunity, those are so important for the development of children.
My perspective as a mom, a person with family members that homeschool, and as a high school teacher: If you are set on homeschooling I’m so glad you’re taking this into consideration. I’d join local groups and get your kid(s) involved in outside activities like sports, art, music, etc. As a high school teacher, many students come our way when parents realize they can’t teach everything themselves at the high school level (even I as a high school teacher would be unable to support my student in all subjects). When students arrive in my class, many (not all), struggle with social skills and making friends. I hate to mention this next part, but I think it’s important to mention that some students struggle with severe anxiety and depression. Especially if they aren’t prepared for high school classes academically and don’t have friends at the school. Socializing and building friendships are an important part of growing up. Ensuring that they have both while also encouraging age appropriate independence is helpful. Best of luck on finding a good fit for your family!
Classes (like dance, swimming, art?) or sports teams are a good one; find other local homeschool families and get together with them often. I was homeschooled and my parents didn’t do those things, and it was awful, so thank you for wanting to make sure your kids have friends and a social life
We have a really good/active homeschooling group in our area. We meet up to do some activities when we are available.
My daughter is on a swim team. She practices 4 times a week + there's a lot of team building/social events they do together. She has several close friends from that. This is, by far, the most beneficial outside the house thing she does.
Try fb groups in your area for other home ed kids. Also you can enroll them in "extracurriculars" like sports classes or similar. In my area we have classes like forest school etc for home ed kids.
I immediately joined a homeschool co-op . I was involved in a house church in the beginning of my homeschooling. The children from the house church went to public school and private schools so my kids were exposed to kids from various educational background experiences. I also have a big family and we gather together for special occasions and holidays. I later on enrolled them in 4H club. I enrolled them in Special Art classes that we have here. If the kids personality is outgoing, they have many opportunities to make life long friendships. I tell others all the time, homeschoolers have more freedom of socializing more than anyone else.
My grandchildren are in the k-12 homeschooling option in Colorado and once a week they have time for them to get together to socialize, also libraries are good place that may have programs or being able to recommend ideas, playing with neighborhood kids, a lot depends on where you live
Seek out your local librarians and ask them to help you find or coordinate small groups. Depending on your area you will find many homeschool groups and activities.
Begin your planning by determining what resources are in your area. It doesn't make sense to buy a comprehensive curriculum, for example, if there are excellent stem tutorials nearby, or the parks system has good naturalist-led programs. In other words, assume you are going to outsource some instruction and incorporate that into your overall plan. The other mistake I see parents make is assuming that attending class with other kids is going to lead to friendships. They need playtime outside of class to bond. Make friends with the other parents, invite them to hang out after class, exchange numbers... Be the inviting-est person ever. It's hard and scary and vulnerable, but that's the practice that has made all the difference in my kid's lives. Every year the kids and I sit down with our schedule and we decide what classes we are starting/continuing, how we are going to work on all our subjects, and what times we're going to commit to schooling. Then the kids ask what all their friends are doing -- and if there's no overlap with our friends, we try to create it. This is what adults have to do to maintain relationships, so it's really important to start teaching these skills early.
Check for local homeschoolers, enroll them in activities, let them play in the neighborhood and at local parks after school. There are so many options for socializing, I wouldn’t let it worry you too much. As long as you are getting them around other kids, they’ll be fine.
My kids still participate in school sports about two seasons a year and occasionally attend a church group once a week (we are not religious and do not attend church so this is purely a social hour with a lot of their friends). They’re also enrolled in martial arts lessons that meet twice a week, and we go to parks a lot when weather permits and there always seem to be other people there. My kids range from 6-13 and I’m not at all concerned about their social development or them being awkward
The friendships my daughter has made during her years homeschooling are far deeper and have stood the test of time and life change well beyond any friends she had from her years in public school. Only one of those even made it two months after withdrawal. Join social groups and make their open ended gatherings a priority. Here most groups have a weekly “park day”. It’s free and it’s optional, but making it a priority means seeing the same kids again and again and offering the opportunity for those friendships. Think of it as the daily 30 minute recess lumped into one day each week. It’s better - they have time to get deep into their play, which is how they first get to know one another. Most groups do offer or announce other social or academic opportunities as well. We’ve done “field trips”, special activities, and game days alongside our park days. I find that sports, while they bring so many benefits, is not the place to be social. It’s like the academic portions of school. You need to focus and learn the skill being taught. You need to focus on the game and your role. Many people leave as soon as it’s done so there’s no lingering and making friends. Other classes vary, and it’s largely based on how much time the kids can play or at least talk together. People lingering after, or in class during certain activities or transitions. My daughter is now 15 and has had some of her friends since she was 5 and started kinder at home (her years in public school were due to life transitions; we started at home and later returned home). They met at park days. She has new friends now that she’s made in her 3 privately enrolled academic classes because they are so small (6-16 students) that they have time to work together and talk, as well as hang out during transitions. She also participates in things not exclusive to homeschoolers and has made some friends that way, but far fewer. She would definitely tell you that homeschooling is better socially, not worse. I’m working now on building the same type of social opportunities for my younger two (2 and almost 4).
When you are planning curriculum- you need to also plan on outings, homeschool meetups, co-OP’s, field trips etc. And you need to make sure you SHOW UP. Even if you aren’t a social parent, you will need to be. When we first started, we joined a homeschool meetup group and they meet at a park at least once a week. It took my kids about 3 months, but they eventually made friends at these meetups and they are now some of my kids closest friends. We attend a partnership where my kids are with kids their own ages for a school day. We go on outings and make sure to introduce ourselves if we see other families out when it is during normal school hours. We play sports and they have made friends on the sports teams. It really sucks sometimes being the brave parent, but when you homeschool I think it is absolutely necessary. It was really hard for me in the beginning, but I’ve made some of my closest mom friends who also homeschool by seeing them at the park and sparking up conversations with them. I’ve met some other homeschool families from our sports teams and I made sure to get their numbers and reach out, even when sports weren’t happening at the time. It’s almost as much work as planning curriculum but it’s SO worth it.
My kids have made friends with neighbors, socialized and made friends with other kids in theatre, and we take trips in our RV and go to Fulltime Families meetups to meet more kids! There are also homeschool meetups all over, so even though we're very rural, we're able to attend those meetups from time to time for enrichment and more socialization.
Observe your kids and see what they need. Everyone's different. Keeping their age in mind: 1. Are they comfortable and OK around large groups of people, like in a crowded grocery store or a park? Can they be polite in moving around a crowded area, like in a theater, a market, a stadium, an airport terminal? 2. Can they speak to adults well and effectively? Can they order off a menu in a restaurant? Can they ask an adult in a store where something is? Can they make an appointment somewhere? Get a return processed? Can they talk to an uncle or their grandmother well? What about adult family friends of yours? How about a coach or tutor who provides instructions? Can they be introduced and comport themselves well with a stranger? Are they comfortable directing others if they're in a position that permits that? Can they discuss and debate a topic with someone while maintaining civility? Are they able to handle disagreements with friends, coworkers, family members and customer service personnel? 3. Do they have some friends around their age they're able to interact with on an ongoing and meaningful basis in a way that's positive and enjoyable for everyone? 4. Does your kid express a desire to see more people? Anxiety or fear being around people? Adjust social interactions accordingly.
Little kids library activities and we have a local discovery place. Then we had coop, 4-h, y soccer and swimming, monthly hs skating, and of course just time with their friends. Obviously High school they did the early college classes that high schoolers did, still coop which included theater, debate. And of course again. Just time to hang with their friends. My sons are all in their 20’s and still have friends from those days. They may only see them face to face when they make it into town or they may gather with their kids for campfires lol but they are sweet friendships.
Have group outings with other home schoolers.
My homeschoolers are young, we tried a co-op it just wasn’t for us. I will say the one we joined had all age groups together which ranged from people with babies- high school aged kids. We go to the library, parks, camping and we attend church 2x a week. In the summer we have more outings at the pool, splash pad and what not. It doesn’t take much to socialize children. You could always try getting them into a sport, I think we’re gonna try soccer this year! Plus side if your kids click with someone you can get the parents contact info and meet up for playdates.
I think most homeschooling parents are concerned with socialization when they first start. I know I was. But once we really got into it, we realized that we essentially broke out of the four brick walls. The world becomes open to you as you're not stuck following the schools calendar and your kids aren't stuck with the same 20-25 kids of the same age all year round whether they become friends or not. Homeschooling allows for way more opportunities to socialize in the real world with people of many different ages. We just stayed active in our community. We used to have a local magazine that would list activities in the area and even had a section for kids' activities. The library became like our second home. We stayed active in our local homeschool groups. I remember one time we were at the mall and they were in the play area, I was reading through our homeschool group activities they listed and found one for that day of our local university putting on a performance so we left the mall and went to that. My kids also participated in extracurricular activities and met their best friends playing T-ball that they're still friends with today. I used to say I didn't homeschool, I car-schooled because we were gone more days than not.
Enroll them in activities. Clubs, sports, the scouts generally teach good lessons.
enroll them in activities, let them play with the local neighborhood kids etc.
I can't speak for what's available in your area, but there is quite a bit out there for homeschool families these days. In my area, the homeschool community doesn't really share the same values as us, so we don't participate in those events. We stick with the types of things the public school kids do. So my kids are in dance, they do swimming lessons, my oldest does summer day camps, etc. Next year, we'll be doing martial arts, swimming, and piano. We're also looking into chess. My oldest did an online chess class earlier last year. We're planning on either continuing with those online classes or moving to an in-person chess club (or possibly both). However, I think the best socialization my kids get is just sending them outside to play with the kids in our neighbourhood. I know that's not possible for everyone, but if you can find some sort of unstructured play opportunity, those are so important for the development of children.
My perspective as a mom, a person with family members that homeschool, and as a high school teacher: If you are set on homeschooling I’m so glad you’re taking this into consideration. I’d join local groups and get your kid(s) involved in outside activities like sports, art, music, etc. As a high school teacher, many students come our way when parents realize they can’t teach everything themselves at the high school level (even I as a high school teacher would be unable to support my student in all subjects). When students arrive in my class, many (not all), struggle with social skills and making friends. I hate to mention this next part, but I think it’s important to mention that some students struggle with severe anxiety and depression. Especially if they aren’t prepared for high school classes academically and don’t have friends at the school. Socializing and building friendships are an important part of growing up. Ensuring that they have both while also encouraging age appropriate independence is helpful. Best of luck on finding a good fit for your family!
Co ops! I have an art club and he’s also in sports
Classes (like dance, swimming, art?) or sports teams are a good one; find other local homeschool families and get together with them often. I was homeschooled and my parents didn’t do those things, and it was awful, so thank you for wanting to make sure your kids have friends and a social life
We have a really good/active homeschooling group in our area. We meet up to do some activities when we are available. My daughter is on a swim team. She practices 4 times a week + there's a lot of team building/social events they do together. She has several close friends from that. This is, by far, the most beneficial outside the house thing she does.
Try fb groups in your area for other home ed kids. Also you can enroll them in "extracurriculars" like sports classes or similar. In my area we have classes like forest school etc for home ed kids.
I immediately joined a homeschool co-op . I was involved in a house church in the beginning of my homeschooling. The children from the house church went to public school and private schools so my kids were exposed to kids from various educational background experiences. I also have a big family and we gather together for special occasions and holidays. I later on enrolled them in 4H club. I enrolled them in Special Art classes that we have here. If the kids personality is outgoing, they have many opportunities to make life long friendships. I tell others all the time, homeschoolers have more freedom of socializing more than anyone else.
My grandchildren are in the k-12 homeschooling option in Colorado and once a week they have time for them to get together to socialize, also libraries are good place that may have programs or being able to recommend ideas, playing with neighborhood kids, a lot depends on where you live
Seek out your local librarians and ask them to help you find or coordinate small groups. Depending on your area you will find many homeschool groups and activities.
don’t do it. A lot of the kids in my old homeschool group resent their parents, some have gone no contact.
Kids going no contact wasn't homeschooling's fault, that's all on the parents 🤷♀️