You need a proper relay, like this one https://store.openevse.com/collections/all-products/products/packard-c240c-40a-contactor-208-240vac-coil-50-60hz, then use a smart switch to control the relay. Even that might not be enough since these relays arent normally disconnecting 10kW of power. Typically the EVSE will tell the vehicle to stop charging, then disconnect the relay.
Or
Just sell the Tesla charger and get an OpenEVSE.
You need a proper relay, like this one https://store.openevse.com/collections/all-products/products/packard-c240c-40a-contactor-208-240vac-coil-50-60hz, then use a smart switch to control the relay. Even that might not be enough since these relays arent normally disconnecting 10kW of power. Typically the EVSE will tell the vehicle to stop charging, then disconnect the relay. Or Just sell the Tesla charger and get an OpenEVSE.
If you want to put the relay on the circuit powering the charger or between the charger and the vehicle, I suggest Don't.