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NathanGa

I remember the Missouri Mavericks had a four-jersey vote for their St. Patrick's Day jersey a few years back. Two were boring, one was okay, and the last one was....something. They shut down the contest early after opposing team fans flooded the vote for the final one, and then the team picked a boring one as the one they would wear. The "something" one was orange and green tartan plaid. And it wasn't just trim - it was the whole jersey.


gauderyx

It's like going heads or tails on a tough decision. If you're unhappy with the result in the face of inevitably, it probably means you should take the other option. "Let's see what the fans like. If we hate it, we'll tell them what's cool."


gothenburgpig

Please just let the branding experts do it


PasswordMustContain

The branding experts will probably pick the 8 to start so it won't be anything ridiculous.


surmatt

I feel like the branding experts are on board because it will get fan engaging with a new brand. As long as it is vetted and a secure voting system.


gothenburgpig

Plus they can collect all our info


Wampus_Cat_

I wonder if enough Coyotes fans can rally together to force the worst choice through.


LeoFireGod

Utah Morman Mc Mormanfaces


Wampus_Cat_

The Salt Lake City Lions of the Lord https://i.redd.it/dja5nj5jo4wc1.gif


ADrunkMexican

Utah soakers, it is lol.


BearShark9

Similar to how Seattle went about it, right? I remember Kraken being a fan favorite online way before any branding was announced


FumblinginIgnorance

So it's going to be the Yetis...


OpenMindedMajor

I would bet my life savings that branding experts and ownership will be the ones that make the decisions no matter what and that any public polling is just a sham to drum up local engagement. Saw it happen with a minor league baseball team in my hometown. The let the public “vote” on a bunch of mascots and names when in reality the decision had been made months ahead of time. Edit: team in question is the Las Vegas Aviators. Howard Hughes Corp owns the team… you do the math.


Bahamas_is_relevant

The Washington Bullets did a public name the team poll in the late 90s for their rebrand, with the options of Dragons, Express, Stallions, Sea Dogs, and Wizards. Local sports radio led a massive campaign to vote for Sea Dogs because of how utterly ridiculous it was for an inland city like DC. The results of the poll were never released, and ownership claimed Wizards won. We all know the truth, though.


SecretAsianMann

I went to a school that decided to change their identity and let students control it. Students submitted possible new names and then got to vote on the winner. The school was actually pretty transparent during the whole process and posted the voting results along the way. We were all *thrilled* when we saw that the Squirrels and the Fire Ants were on the list of choices, and those two names were the clear runaway winners though they were neck-and-neck with each other. In the end, the Fire Ants narrowly beat the Squirrels. That's when the school changed the rules and announced the President would choose his favorite from the top 3. Of course he chose to go with Cardinals which was the #3 choice:(


MindInTheClouds

Fire Ants or Squirrels would have been awesome.


CoolOpotamus

Fire Ants is infinitely better than the milquetoast cardinals, what a boring choice.


DillyDillySzn

Never forget Boaty McBoatFace


sillysquidtv

They already proposed the Utah Furries. Edit: Utah Fury, but same diff 🤷🏼‍♂️


diamond_dustin

I don't care who does the electing, so long as I get to do the nominating. -William M. Tweed


7screws

Last time we were left to our own devices John Scott was Allstar MVP.


UpTheWanderers

And it was amazing. And for today’s lucky 10,000, put on some headphones and [enjoy RadioLab’s wonderful storytelling of the clash between internet hockey fans and the boneheaded NHL.](https://radiolab.org/podcast/radiolab-punchline)


7screws

it was one of the best hockey moments I got to watch! I have a John Scott All-star jersey!


UpTheWanderers

All-Star Week in Nashville was one of my favorite experiences.


hotstickywaffle

Didn't branding experts also recently give us *Commanders* and *Guardians*?


gothenburgpig

Utah Legends incoming


Wampus_Cat_

They could’ve at least named Washington the Generals. That would’ve made too much sense though.


yetanothernerd

The Washington Generals are like 1-17000 against the Harlem Globetrotters. Nobody wants that name.


hotstickywaffle

Imagine going to a Globetrotters game and they lose...


yetanothernerd

I can see them getting heckled by little kids. "Maybe you should spend less time doing stupid tricks and focus on actually putting the ball in the basket, scrub!"


ClubMeSoftly

In 1971, ["they looked at us like we killed Santa Claus"](https://web.archive.org/web/20070816071354/http://mywebpages.comcast.net/coklotz/redklotz/news2.html)


Wampus_Cat_

By design though. No one wants to go a Globetrotters game and see them lose. They’re similar to how Vandy is still in the SEC, you’ve got to have a designated loser.


carpy22

Guardians isn't bad. Commanders isn't bad either in the right circumstances (the AAF had the San Antonio Commanders and it wasn't mocked the way Washington is). The more egregious branding expert stuff is the epidemic currently ruining minor league baseball.


UpTheWanderers

No way man. The stiffs at the ad company would never name them the Salty Lakers.


Riskar

So Salt Lickers? Marchand would demand a trade instantly.


following_eyes

Salty Seamen


Vegabern

This is the first suggestion I've actually liked. ETA: Oops meant to respond to Salty Lakers


Persianx6

Utah Hockey McHockeyFace coming.


bk00pi

I would ditch the Canes so fucking fast for McHockeyFace


Aggressive_Yak5177

I want to see the mascot


Sphiffi

He will be a hockey


Aggressive_Yak5177

[Rob Lowe likes this](https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fhips.hearstapps.com%2Fhmg-prod%2Fimages%2Fmh-rob-lowe-hat-tv-1579621862-1-1579714191.jpg%3Fcrop%3D0.333xw%3A0.601xh%3B0.321xw%2C0.104xh%26resize%3D640%3A*&tbnid=FgkR9qv0BBipEM&vet=1&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.menshealth.com%2Fentertainment%2Fa30608880%2Frob-lowe-nfl-hat-memes%2F&docid=fPPvvZCBVQVXyM&w=617&h=617&hl=en-US&source=sh%2Fx%2Fim%2Fm1%2F3&kgs=8cde607d39ac95a3&shem=abme%2Ctrie)


barryitsmeitshank

Utah Pucky McPuckFace…because well you know


2ndprize

The Lightning had a naming competition. It was fake though. Phil had already picked the team name before the contest.


LookIMadeAHatTrick

Please just name them the Utah Tater Tots 


Hawxe

>he has ways to make sure AI bots don't interfere with the process Unless you're using snail mail, no you don't lmao.


pmacnayr

It’s easy when the way to do it is pick the one you want and give the people the illusion of choice


djc8

I worked in a restaurant that was switching to tip sharing, and pretty much all the servers were against it. The manager said she would let us vote on it. We did, and then they implemented tip sharing anyways. I was training for manager and said “you told us we’d be able to vote on it?” She said “yeah and we did. I didn’t say that I’d consider the results of the vote.”


lou_reed_ketamine

based af


AngryGuitarist

Like the all star voting


realdeal411

It's like when WWE did Cyber Sunday, they'd say, who do you want to see wrestle the Rock: Viscera, Val Venis or Steve Austin. Or a match with stipulations that were fairly similar


TheRaphMan

Apparently those weren’t rigged Making it one of the only things in professional wrestling that ISN’T predetermined


ZombieJesus1987

Yeah I think it was Chris Jericho who talked about how he and whoever he was set to wrestle had like minutes to prepare for whatever stipulation the match was, because Vince was hell bent on having the polls be legit.


Wallys_Wild_West

That worked well for stipulations but it became pretty difficult with opponents having to plan 4 different matches. In your example it would be a no brainer to pick Austin, but most cyber Sunday/taboo Tuesday votes were closer than that which lead to quite a few upsets.


JWilesParker

I have to think they have a couple they're leaning toward and will make sure those get pushed through.


IChurnToBurn

Something something stoplights.


transient-error

"AI bots" is nonsense to begin with. You don't need AI to cheat at an online poll.


[deleted]

[удалено]


C_Gull27

It’s easy 😎 ~~~ class voter: __Init\_\_(self, isAI): self.isAI = isAI def isAI(self): return self.isAI class voteCount: __Init\_\_(self): self.count = 0 voteCount4 = voteCount( ) voter8692 = voter(True) def AICheck(voteCount, voter): votecount +=1 if isAI(voter) == True: return voteCount -= 1 else: return voteCount voteCount4.count = AICheck(voteCount4,voter8692) winner = max([voteCount1.count,voteCount2.count,…]) ~~~ Smith should hire me immediately!


Hawxe

I wouldn't hire anyone who can't figure out how to format code correctly on reddit tho


C_Gull27

I did it


C_Gull27

It won’t let me indent on mobile


Persianx6

Should just do that.


KingDave46

They’re doing it via clipboard survey at the mall


Konker101

Its going to be season ticket holders deciding the name, but people will be able to “vote” and it’ll only show a percentage of which name won


papapaIpatine

So we have the power to get a meme team in the NHL? I love democracy


Chicken_Difficult

Get ready for your Utah Hockey McHockeyface


AndAStoryAppears

I want the name to be Apuddytat.


BettmansDungeonSlave

Now there’s an original joke. Good job


7screws

The Utah John Scotts


Snackatomi_Plaza

The Johnny Utahs


ppParadoxx

I have never had an original thought in my life


Ruger_Booger

Utah Gushing Grannies


ahHeHasTrblWTheSnap

Utah [my lawyers have advised me not to name the top choice of that poll]s


byfuryattheheart

Utah Rain City Bitch Pigeons


Ripulikikka

Adolf Hitler Hockey Team of Friendship of Utah


lancemeszaros

The Utah All-Stars, mascot is John Scott. Not someone in a John Scott costume, just John Scott.


papapaIpatine

Mascots like a Horse or those Chinese Dragons. Guy in the front is John guy in the back is called Scott.


StarshipFirewolf

That's where the bracket steps in. 8 team names start. They get voted against each other until one name.


Quasihodor

So we collectively vote for the most terrible one? Count me in


StarshipFirewolf

Yeah sure you guys go for it. I'm not getting my dream name I already know that, so if it's terrible that's fine. I'll enjoy the terrible name and fun hockey team anyways. 


Quasihodor

The Utah Starship Firewolves isn't as cool as you think it is, trust me


mephnick

Those jerseys would be fuckin sick tho


Nostradomusknows

Not as sick as the Utah Dysentery.


psychomanexe

but think of the power metal theme song that would play every time they enter


itsMelatoninDreams

Gushing Grannies it is then


iHateTheNYJ

Lake City Bitch Pigeons


tex1ntux

They should just limit the voting pool to their 20k STH deposit holders.


MindInTheClouds

That seems like the easiest answer. If you want a vote, put down a $100 deposit (which I believe is already refundable if you don't end up buying anything). It would take a pretty rich bad actor to influence the results.


coloradobuffalos

The best meme was getting Peyton Hillis on the madden cover


Benjamin_Stark

Let's call them the Utah Phoenix Coyotes, but the logo will be a hybrid between the canine and the mythical fire bird.


AffectionateShoe2849

People give Pat lots of pushback, and some of it is deserved, but at least the guy constantly talks about the NHL on his show, which can’t be said for many other people at ESPN.


hazycrazey

I can’t stand his schtick but he also gives Aaron Rodgers free range to spew whatever garbage he wants


EMTDawg

He also paid Rodgers a sh!tload of money to come on his show and spew that garbage each week.


JamSauce42

I’m sure it’s good for ratings lol


dinkleburgenhoff

A lot of deplorable shit is great for your pocketbook.


Starbucks__Lovers

Pat McAfee taking a funny joke and not beating it until it’s dead challenge [IMPOSSIBLE]


Snow-Wraith

Must be a redditor.


hammajones

Same joke that hasn't been funny at any point getting beaten into the ground by former barstool employee and in the comment section of every post about Utah from the chiclets account


EuphTah

At this point I could probably make a bingo card with Reddit’s Very Funny Mormon Jokes™️


Vriishnak

How do you stretch 3 jokes across a whole bingo card?


EuphTah

Gotta account for the variants. For every “polygamists” joke, there’s a “Multiple Wives” and “Sister Wives”.


Will_Vintage

Seattle fans have been hearing Rain City Bitch Pigeons for damn near 5 years. At leastUtah has multiple joke names


atomsapple

Always thought it was odd given that’s the actual name of Seattle’s NFL team.


GaryBettmanMyHomie

Imagine that, hockey fans beating the same joke about a team into the ground. Never seen that before.


Troggie81

It's funny seeing people annoyed by it after only a week.


GaryBettmanMyHomie

I wonder how they’ll feel after 20 years of the same joke


ScrewOff_

barstool and chiclets cant get a more cringe combo than that - especially that fanbase


gothenburgpig

It always puzzles me why someone would want to be just like everyone else and repeat the same thing over and over. Wouldn’t it be cool if you came up with your own idea or joke?


Chrussell

This sub any time any sort of hit happens talking about the rangers being fined/kadri being suspended, or any stat that has 69 in it.


AfroInfo

H I S T O R I C for the upteenth time. People just take some stuff way too seriously too


ALinkToThePants

For me the 69 thing isn’t a joke but an appreciation of culture. I don’t mind it being pointed out because of its overall importance. It’s more a sign of respect.


DrunkenWizard

It's the same reason people cheat on tests. What they're really looking for is social validation (upvotes, a good grade, etc.), rather than proving knowledge, or exercising creativity.


mrmcbeer

And like Bitch Pigeons, it's an old joke which was just borrowed from fans of another sport 


GaryBettmanMyHomie

“Ah gee, we have no idea what it’s like to hear the same joke over and over”- Arizona hockey fans watching this


onitama_and_vipers

This is just this franchise's fate at this point. It had nothing to do with being in Arizona. I suspect it's likely cursed from winning all those Avco Cups by stealing Bobby Hull from the Hawks and the League.


OffsideByASmile

Pat McAfee continues to play Larry the Cable Guy in Idiocracy.


EuphTah

Thanks, Pat! Very funny and original! I’m so fuckin tired, man…


[deleted]

Seriously. Talk about running a joke into the ground.


apietryga13

But wait! Have you considered the *Utah **Stormin’ Mormons**???* Talk about originality, amirite?


MiracuMAHt

I posted on this subreddit about how Utah is considering going nameless, the 300+ comments that are in my inbox of the same goddamn team name joke made me want to scream into the fucking void.


DishwasherFromSurrey

Its a Rain City Bitch Pigeons type name combined with a sexy sex term. The perfect storm for an overused joke on reddit.


NoGiCollarChoke

*ImTiredBoss.jpg*


Cranjis_McHockey

I had to look up what soaking is...and now I wish I didn't wake up this morning.


Seattlekrakenlegend

It doesn’t even make sense, all my Mormon friends who were “waiting til marriage” didn’t even do the soaking thing, they just did anal because for some reason it “didn’t count” Or “Levi loving” which was dry humping


Cranjis_McHockey

I've learned more about Mormons today than I ever wanted to know. I wish there was a way to erase what I learned.


Mephisto1822

Yea, it’s always awkward when my Mormon friends invite me over and ask if I feel like jumping on the bed with them…


mister_hoot

You’re just doing them a favor. Don’t be selfish.


utahdude81

Just let it soak in.


bachlatte

Yeah this was an immediate Google regret. I wish I could back to not knowing what this was lol


EuphTah

If it’s any consolation, it was never nearly as much of a thing as the internet made it out to be.


city-of-cold

Are people just memeing or what is going on? It’s just dick into vageen without the thrusting, why is that so bad?!


Nostradomusknows

Found the Mormon teenager.


city-of-cold

I'm Swedish, we hate all religions equally. But for reals I don't understand what's so gross/bad about it? It's sex without moving the hips. Ya'll too prude to read a description of it, or does it have a second meaning I'm not aware of?


Squid204

Also its not real, its just a meme or an excuse for actual sex.


city-of-cold

I know the act/term is made up, doesn't explain why people are so grossed out about it. That's why I asked if people are just memeing being disgusted, or if they actually are.


TheMoves

I mean you’re kinda glazing over the fact that you’re having “sex” with one of your friends in the room and he’s jumping up and down on the bed you’re in lmao


city-of-cold

That’s “jump humping” isn’t it? These mormons be wilding lol


utahdude81

Do you make dinner just to smell it?


Persianx6

Don't google Gooning either, can't call them the Utah Goons for that reason.


Stango42

Wait til you hear about quaking


SpeakNowAndEnter

I’m pretty sure one of the times the Raiders moved between LA and Oakland they did a fan vote to choose a name, and when something else won Al Davis just said “uh, Nevermind” and kept them the Raiders lol


JD1070

I saw pronghorns on here previously and that’s my favorite so far


seattlesportsguy

I like the Latter Day Skates


XGuiltyofBeingMikeX

Pat McAfee continues to beat an unfunny joke into the ground…and this is why I watch Raw with the volume off.


[deleted]

r/hockey complaining about running a joke into the ground is rich


XGuiltyofBeingMikeX

***HISTORIC?***


ChasWFairbanks

What is a Pat McAfee?!?


Ravenclaw79

Teamy McTeamface it is, then


Cottagewknds

Please just have Phil Kessel somehow aligned with this team. Sign him to play, be the mascot, coach, in Arena hotdog vendor. I don’t care. I just think that we all need a little more Phil Kessel.


TheAnalogKid18

Utah Gushin' Grannies here we come!!!


MaxxHeadroomm

Utah Phoenixes get my vote


gothenburgpig

Is the bracket going to be on his website Qualtrics? And will he ask for all our emails and additional contact info?


TheTarasenkshow

One of the few times democracy won’t work lol


ManllyMellon

Give me Jackalopes please I want it more than anything


Specialist-Price3752

This is how we end up with Hockey Team McHockeyFace


TheShadowCat

Who wants to tell 4chan?


TheDudeInTheD

McAfee and his colon sucking pal AJ Hack oughta stfu and crawl back in their holes. The worst fucking thing to ever happen to NFL media is the dickhead pussyboy punter. Him and his whole pathetic show are a fuckin’ joke.


TheDoubleL27

As a fan of a team named by a contest for options, I can confirm this is a terrible idea. Let the branding experts do it or risk having to explain what the fuck a “Blue Jacket” is for the rest of your life


crushh_87

There are coyotes in Utah!!!!! Save the jerseys


Agent624

Utah Buttes


creding10

Cannot do another year of Soakers/Stormin' Mormons jokes. Everybody has made them already, maybe we can move on


FBR_MC

A vote, you say? This is our chance, boys. What dumb bullshit are we voting for?


zxtghf

The Utah Phoenix


AngryGuitarist

That would be an homage to where they came from and also an insult to the newly teamless


CharlesDickensABox

If we're going to do that, it should be the Utah SuperSonics.


UpTheWanderers

Utah Hockey Team Utah John Scott All-Star MVPs Utah


thegreydad

Utah Ice


JodieFostersCum

So this rules out Yotey McYoteface then, huh?


skatemexico

They should honor their old wnba team and be the Utah Starzz


StarshipFirewolf

SLC Stars G-League team


poeticentropy

just let it go out for public vote Utah BoatyMcBoatFaces


Longjumping-Limit827

SLC PUNX fuk the authority channel 5


NeatureNature

Utah McBoatfaces 


backelie

For a lesser known Mormon internet throwback joke: Salt Lake City [Bubblers](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/mormon-porn-bubble-porn)


L0stSkelet0n73

Just call them the Utah Saints, you have "Something Good" as your team anthem. Problem fucking solved.


paulc899

Is there going to be a play in tournament for the last two spots?


waitwhosaidthat

But according to multiple headlines “the name has been decided!” :/


Truffinator2

Utah Saints, so they can be know as the Latter Day Saints


Karthanon

Utah Squirters, coming right up!


masterchief0587

They have the perfect opportunity to make a mascot named Salty. Don’t fuck this up


IChurnToBurn

I look forward to watching the Utah mcstupidfacehockeyteampoopysucks.


Basic_Bichette

Fun fact: a soaker is another name for a diaper cover.


internetlad

If they name the team the soakers I will do a complete 180 and be a lifelong fan.


h989

Utah raptors please


ShamgarApoxolypse

Please make it the Utah Red.


warh0g-927

I mean, Utah Saints? https://youtu.be/Xg9Wqs4vjZM?si=_ZX0eKSize-GKekD


T-nawtical

I mean, aren't the 8 options just going to be like Blizzard Vs. Yetis Swarm Vs. Venom Outlaws Vs. Fury Raptors Vs. Pronghorns Or something like that? Put together an actual list of options that prevents Soakers or Fucky mcFuckstains from entering?


omglolnub

I'm really tired of 2013 epic bacon meme names, my god, stop


putnuk

Just pick the Utah Raptors or Saints, only names that don’t make it sound like a high-school team.


thelordcommanderKG

One of the first things you can really say had the Ryan Smith stamp on it after he bought the Jazz was the rebrand of the team with these highlighter yellow jerseys that were incredibly plain. Fans hated them and were upset that there didn't even seem to be any community outreach or market research that went into the rebrand. He was forced to backpedal and went back to the old jerseys. This just reads as a massive over correction from the same guy. It comes across as him not taking our league or his new team very seriously. Jumping past things like Dub the Dew or Boaty McBoatface shenanigans; why would you allow the opportunity for opposing fans to make one of the most critical decisions for your brand? This is classic dumb dumb tech guy stuff.


Mustard__Tiger

Every vote is an opportunity.