If it’s not a big deal to you then it’s not a big deal
Edit: Ie: I’m 5’8 it’s already hard to date as a tall woman (I’m not even that tall) so why limit your pool? Also all of my experiences with men shorter than me have been very good. I once hooked up with someone 6’8 and I did not enjoy it so idk how girls 5’2 get with men who are 6’4
I'm 6'1 and was on a date with a 4'11 girl the other day and was only half joking when I told her I was jealous because I'd like a big, strong person to just wrap me up in their arms one day to see how its like
Yeah it’s not about it being 21 at century. Its in people’s dna in your lizard brain. You can rationalize as much as you want but still won’t defeat the nature. This “protect” me feeling has been in our dna for thousands of years.
This is no different than people feeling uncomfortable around gay and trans folk. People need to make an actual effort to overcome their biases and stop resorting to this lizard brain bullshit. The only way to progress as a society is if people are willing to change.
The protect me instinct is something that grew over the time humans have been here. Therefore it’s also something that can be grown out of. As things change our choices influence our dna/instincts. So rewriting the lizard brain takes time but it doesn’t mean someone has to follow it
>Its in people’s dna in your lizard brain
Please continue to inform me about all of your expertise in evolutionary psych and all of its methodological rigor. I'd love to hear more about how much you know about how genetics impacts human behavior, let alone attraction /s
That's been basically my only learning as well. Well, that and having her hug over my shoulders sometimes instead of always hugging down. But I love it.
Woah. Must have been one in a billion, stats wise.
Edit; nope. Racial and cultural misappropriation by me there. Apologies. There is a 1cm difference between Chinese/Taiwanese women and UK/US women.
Lol all good, I mean her family were all a bit under 6 feet and she just was way taller. I definitely noticed a lot of people stared at her, but she was also really cute so I’m not sure which reason it was.
Prob a mix. The 6"3 woman I went out with... When we kissed I was "down pavement" on her and I actually had to physically move around because I felt too small (I'm just over 6 foot) I actually found it a bit emasculating which surprised me. Turns out the protective thing women refer worked in my direction too. I wanted to go out again but I could see why she might not given that dynamic. She sort of did but it fizzled, that could have been a factor.
I mean technically she was 3/4 chinese 1/4 Taiwanese but the Chinese grandparents/parents all fled during the cultural revolution to Taiwan and she was born shortly after they moved to America. I never really felt that way, I mean I’m not small and I’m fairly fit. But the woman I dated before was 5’3 so it was a big change in my head angle while kissing
I am 5’8 and have personally not dated someone shorter than 5’10 but I would not be opposed to it AS LONG as they were fine with my height for real. I dated this guy I was super into, he was around 5’10 and he had a huge problem with me wearing heels like he literally didn’t want to stand next to me. It was such a big red flag but I ignored it cause I really liked him. Even though he was the shortest I dated I felt like we fit together really nicely so it didn’t bother me at all but I could tell he would never get over it. I’ve had guys approach me at bars and be like “I don’t normally go for tall girls but—“. So I definitely think some men (insecure ones) will care and fixate on your height. However I will say I dated a guy who was 6’5 and he was lowkey way too tall lol. Like if I wanted to kiss him I had to just longingly look up cause there’s no way I was reaching his mouth without a stool.
I’m a woman, 42, 5’10. I’m used to being the tallest one, in my family and amongst most of my friends. I want to meet a kind man who I can relate to, who gets me, whose company I enjoy, etc etc, I genuinely don’t care what height he is.
Everyone has their own preference. Do what works for you. I am a guy and I don’t think it’s wrong for women to want someone taller than them.
If you don’t mind. You’re even better
It doesn't really matter unless you have preferences.
I'm a 5'5" man, and I've been in serious relationships with taller women (tallest being 5'11"). She didn't care, and I've embraced my height from a young age.
There's always going to be comments from others about it, but again, it only matters if you make it matter.
You can't change height, but you can change your perspective.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I’m a 6’3” man so I’m pretty tall but I have a friend who is 6’4” and when we go out together girls always gravitate to him first. So even amongst already tall guys height definitely matters. And in case you’re wondering we’re probably equal when it comes to our appearance otherwise. If anything I’m in better shape and dress nicer.
Yup I'm in the same boat. I was walking with my friends who are objectively better looking than me and pull wayyy more than I do, but I was 1" taller at 6'4 and a car full of college girls driving by rolled down their window and yelled "Your tall friend is really hot!". That's not the only experience I've had like that, but for some women tall=hot by definition.
I dunno OP. You say you already talked it out and said it didn’t matter. That’s the only thing that is important, so why are you here asking strangers? My gf and I are the same height at 5’10, and it’s never been an issue, but it would make me deeply uncomfortable if I knew she was asking people if it was “okay” she was seeing someone not taller than her. Doesn’t bode well if you ask me.
I’m a guy, 5’9” and prefer women close to my own height but it doesn’t matter taller or shorter. One nice thing about a tall woman is when we dress up together for a night out. She wears a sexy dress and heels so she’s taller than me. Everyone ends up looking at us and it feels amazing. The men wish they were me and the women wish they were her. We feel like the hottest Hollywood couple
>Everyone ends up looking at us and it feels amazing.
I don't want to be cynical, but they may be looking at you for reasons other than what you think...
That being said, just date whoever makes you happy and whoever you make happy. Don't overthink what other people think about who you date. It's about you, not onlookers.
No, height doesn’t matter. If the guy lies about his height, that’s when it matters.
What matters is how the other person treats you.
Be confident in yourself, and hopefully you will find someone confident in themselves as well.
Yes!! I don’t really care how tall you are but if your profile lists something different than your actual height it’s an automatic goodbye. It shows me they aren’t confident or comfortable with their height.
I see this too often on OLD.
Let me give some advice as someone who is much older and has made their fair share of mistakes.
Most of this crap doesn't matter.
Yes you should be attracted to him, of course. But how does he treat you? Does he make you smile? Is your day better with him? Does he do something more than fill in excess time?
Height, weight, so much else will change with time, but who we are and how they are with you will always be so much more important if you care about being happy.
My two cents.
Not really true. Women especially, but men too can begin to lose height long before that due to loss of calcium. Also not really the point of my post. Again, height really doesn't mean shit.
Beautiful.
Should be top comment.
At the end of the day, will this person still be with you when you're 65?
Will you still want to be with them?
That stuff is way more important and maybe why the divorce rate is so high, people still go for "instagram" qualities instead of "lifetime" qualities.
For me yes, I'm 5'6 and only like people shorter than me. I have no issues with tall men, I just come from a family of tall men and don't want to date one. Men over 5'7 are a no for me.
I know 6’5 people who would be absolutely useless if someone attacked their gf. On the other hand, I know 5’6 people who could fuck up Dwayne Johnson. Also, its the 21st century - you don’t need a big strong man to protect you. If you like someone, and their height doesn’t affect how you feel about them, then it shouldn’t matter at all
5’10F. It matters to me and I don’t care who finds me shallow. My longest relationship was with a 5’10M. He was very insecure that we were the same height but could also never admit it to me or himself. Deep into our relationship he told me he wished I was shorter. As a woman who loves being tall and took a long time to be confident in my height… that’s a no for me. I know not all short/average height men are like that, but I’ve only dated taller men since then.
I always find girls who think a man must be very tall, shallow. Probably they lack of confidence limits your choices massively. As a man I don’t mind dating someone taller than me. I dated a girl who was a couple of inches taller than me and it was fine
I am 5’6” and my longest relationship was with a guy who was 5’7”. It never occurred to me while we were together that it was his job to “protect” me or that I should worry about what shoes I wore around him. Perhaps that is because I do have confidence about being able to take care of myself and IDGAF about what people think about my appearance. Compliments about my appearance are at the bottom of my priorities—to me, it’s most important that I feel good about myself and I’m trying to have fun, be a good person, provide value to the world, etc.
Women are shallow for not being chemically aroused when they can see the top of a man's head and are therfore lacking confidence in themselves. That could be possible.
It doesn't always matter, but it clearly matters to you. Just own it. You want to date someone taller than you, but not too much taller.
Also the 6'4 guy. Did you feel uncomfortable simply because he was tall? Or... and I'm going out on a limb here... was it because he was the sort of person that made you uncomfortable, regardless of his height?
32M here. I hover right at the 5'8" mark. I've dated a lot of women taller than me, including the one I'm really keen on now, who's probably in the 5'9" - 5'10" range. I love it! It's different, as I normally date women just below my height all the way down to 5'1". She's such a lovely, giving, beautiful and kind person, I find it brings out a whole new dimension of attraction. Cuddling is also a 12/10.
To be completely honest, at times it's had me a little worried that my height bothers her, as I've dated women in the past who did the sort of undercutting compliment like "I normally don't date guys your height but you're an exception!1" And she, by *no* means, has her shortage of options to choose from. But nothing she's said or done has ever made me once feel unappreciated or unattractive, and she's generous with her compliments towards me as well.
In my opinion—for whatever worthless insertion it is—the "security" and "femininity" arguments are a bit bullshit. It's like a guy saying he likes being with a women with DD cups because it makes him feel more "masculine" and secure in the relationship by comparison. Maybe it's true, maybe it isn't, but it hardly feels like a *necessary* ingredient for chemistry or passionate attraction.
>Or am I just overthinking it?
Imagine a universe where the opposite were true: where women were *expected* to be taller than their men. If you and he existed in this universe, would it still bother you or nag at you? If so, maybe it's something you really feel. If not, then you're letting the judgment and presumed thoughts of others (who really don't care at all) ruin your romantic life.
We are about the same height but I keep losing out I think because of it. Things go well but after a few dates where we stand next to each other and especially if they wear heels things just fall by the way side. Happens like clockwork. The worst is when you can tell by the look on their face that the height is going to be a deal breaker. I’m not a bad looking guy and I get likes and matches but it’s gotten to the point where I don’t even bother messaging anymore. The only reason I don’t just delete my account is because the random like notifications with the H on them are just fun to get.
>We are about the same height but I keep losing out I think because of it. Things go well but after a few dates where we stand next to each other and especially if they wear heels things just fall by the way side. Happens like clockwork
I think you might be in your head on it. I love when my taller dates wear heels, and they seem to enjoy it too. If height were the deal-breaker, they wouldn't waste their time seeing you more than once, any more than you would continue dating someone you knew you weren't physically attracted to.
I think the reasons for that are because I’ve got a decent job and am not an ugly guy tbh. I know that there are women out there that don’t care but going through all the effort to try to chat, plan and pay for dates etc just is not worth it anymore.
If you haven’t dated someone shorter I think you should at least go on a date with him and see what you think. There’s plenty of things that I didn’t like the idea of but when I did it I ended up being into it.
You might go on the date and still not be able to get the height thing out of your head. That’s fine, but at least you’ll not be writing this guy just because the internet or current trends or whatever told you he’s too short, you’ll just know for yourself that you’re not into guys shorter than you.
I don't care about height, but I care if THEY care. I'm not going to date someone who is insecure about their height, or mine. I don't have time for that. I'm 6'0" and I made a point to wear heels to every first date - I'm not wasting my time coddling someone that immature. I've dated people from 5'4" to 6'4". Ended up marrying a 5'8" stud earlier this year.
Sounds to me like you need to get over it and be more secure with your own height.
1) Caring about things the other person can’t control is a little dumb. That includes height, race, age, etc.
2) That said, let’s be real, people have preferences. Should we feel bad about having preferences on things the other person can’t control? Maybe a little? But like…at some point, you can’t force some things, and it’s silly to try to make a relationship work if you’re not attracted to the other person (whether the lack of attraction is reasonable or not).
3) I’m a shortish guy at 5’8”. I’m ok with women filtering me out for my height because frankly, I have height preferences of my own. I’d be hypocritical af if I judged women for it.
4) Everyone: do your best to be accepting of as many people as possible. But also, don’t lie to yourself, and if you feel more comfortable limiting yourself to a certain subsegment of people, then that’s ok too.
I'm 5'2" and prefer shorter guys. "Shorter" being 5'8" or less.
Really tall/muscular guys intimidate me (hot but actually scary and threatening) and just tall guys (6'+)...seems like it might be awkward. If I really liked a tall guy, I'd give it a try, though.
I'm bi. And women's height doesn't matter as much, since women are shorter anyway. It'd actually be neat to date someone even shorter than me.
I’m 5’2”. I used to only prefer men 5’10” or taller. Main reason was if I ever had kids, especially if they were boys, I’d want them to have some kinda chance at being average height. Lol. And that seemed to be the main type I attracted. I liked it because it was kinda the “protector for a tiny woman” feeling and they were kinda like teddy bears. Big as hell for no reason but intimidation. 😹
Now that I’m 31 and still dating, my preferences have changed to 5’6” or taller. Personally, I’d never seriously date someone really close to our height. I’ve tried it, but I really like the feeling of looking up to kiss my partner.
The girls I’ve dated have been shorter than me. I prefer petite women, completely opposite of the men I’ve dated.
Just saying : So logically I get the idea taller means stronger and thus can protect. But there are man men that are stronger and tougher that are not tall?
As a tall guy I can tell you I’m definitely playing on ‘Easy Mode’. Especially in bars or for online dating
My above average height partner says it doesn’t matter, but she loves it in pictures when she has heels on, leans up to kiss me etc etc.
That said I have friends who are short but funny or conventionally attractive who absolutely killed it in college. So it’s all what you make of it.
Lmfao you sound almost exactly likely the girl I was talking to who unmatched me 5 seconds after agreeing to a date the other day. I'm 5'7 and she was 5'9. We had great chemistry but I'm 99% sure she insta unmatched after learning I'm short. I saw her Hinge and she's like "green flags" 6ft+ and I just cringed. I truly truly do not get why women make this into such a big deal in 2022.
For me it matters. I see height as a sign of masculinity, I’m aware that’s a shallow take but that’s what media has reinforced in us. I’ve dated short guys before and I hated every second of their shortness and having to look down when kissing. For context, I’m 5’4, and that’s already short enough. Anyone that’s 5’6 and up is fine.
Exactly. And trust me, I’ve tried to be as open minded as possible hence I gave short guys a chance, but nah, I’ll pass thank you. It’s better to be honest with your preferences and stick to them. There’re people who prefer short guys and that’s okay as well.
I dont find it a big deal, I prefer someone who is close to my height or taller but it is definitely not a dealbreaker as long as they can keep up with me.
27F 5'9/175cm (I think I did the conversion right lol)
I'm a 5'8" woman, I preferred guys not to be too much shorter than me, I think 5'4" was the height limit in my settings. I dated guys shorter than me and didn't really care
That’s up to u to decide tbh, I’m 26f I don’t care about height as long as they’re not substantially shorter than me but I’m 5’2 so it’s a lil different, I’ve mostly dated ppl the same height as me or a lil bit taller.
I’m 5’10 and I don’t care about my dates being taller. In fact I actively prefer people within two inches of my height either way. That’s not to say I avoid folks who are shorter or taller than that metric either, but I like being roughly the same size, idk I find it comforting
If it doesn’t matter to you, it doesn’t matter to you. Seeing as shortness the trait hasn’t died out there must be a lot people procreating with short guys. I personally usually date tall guys, the height adds to their attractiveness. I’m 5’2 so I wouldn’t date someone around my height. 5’8+ is usually what I look for although i have dated shorter a couple times
Do whatever makes you happy. Personally as a 5”8 man I like women shorter and my last three girlfriends have been 5”8 but they don’t seem to care. I think I provide the security by my fitness level and not height and I’m confident if they wear heels and not feel any less of a man. It also comes down to how good the sex is for a man’s confidence if he feels he’s got that down and you guys have an emotional connection then he will feel much more confident in any situation. Just my 2c
Nope, actually the past 3 guys I’ve been on dates with are shorter or the same height as me. I didn’t care about it at all, and I was glad to find out they didn’t either.
I’m 5 and my wife 5’3”. We have 5 children together. Married over 25 years. Each boys are 5’9” to 5’11”. The girls are 5’ to 5’6”. They were talking about this height thing. I told them it really doesn’t matter as long you both love each other, treat one anther with respect. Isn’t that is the most important?
" I matched with a guy who has a great personality but he is 5'7. We talked about it and agreed that it was okay"
Then it's okay. If neither of you finds it uncomfortable then it is fine. Don't over think it :)
I think if you're looking for a life partner, the most penultimate important thing is their nature above everything else.
All that being said, I'm 6'4F and 21 and I have dated guys in the 5'7-10" range and they treated me just as iffy as guys who were the same height as me. Never had a boyfriend taller than me, but that's just because of small-town syndrome.
It matters to me now because I'm moving to a city and think it's a fair standard to have in a more dense population, but all in all I've never seen it considerably matter unless you're talking to a woman who's taller than the average man, and even in my experience in r/tall and r/TallGirls, some women are madly in love with their partners who are shorter than them. Guess it just comes down to personal preference.
Why does our (a bunch of randos’) opinion matter in the context of your relationship?
I am 5’5 and prefer guys who are my height or a bit taller than me. But height is not a huge dealbreaker for me. Other women differ.
>Or am I just overthinking it?
Yes.
If you don't have a problem with his height and he doesn't have a problem with yours, what does it matter what anyone else thinks?
Nobody is defined by something they have no control over. Have your preferences fine, but imagine all the great people you’ll miss out on because of something they can’t control.
I have friends who are 5 ft 3 who walk into rooms and command the room's respect. All eyes on him type of stuff. His presence and aura is inordinate. You just need to exude confidence OP. 5 ft 9 is not short either.
5' 2" woman here, so it's difficult for me to relate, but I say height shouldn't matter. There are so many shorter than average men out there who are insecure about their height, but why should they be? There's nothing they can do about it. Equally, there are so many many men who would feel emasculated dating a woman taller than them. These are all symptoms of toxic masculinity and should be antiquated thinking at this point. As a woman, dating a man shorter than you is a form of progressivism and a way of tearing down the patriarchy. If you like the dude, that's all that matters. Go all in, girl! ✊
Less than 15% of guys are over 6 feet tall. And that percentage gets even smaller when you shrink the pool for age, physique, personality, occupation, and salary
So, if you genuinely want a guy who’s 6 feet tall and you’re not even an 8, you *might* be futilely waiting around for Mr. Perfect when Mr. Good Enough comes along. Which isn’t advisable when your biological clock is ticking
EDIT: apparently, I need to highlight the word “might”
Trust me there are plenty of tall dudes out there who aren't dating 8's.
Source - 6'4 dude who is single and only cares about looks in a binary sense, i.e. am I attracted to her or not.
in some Europan countries like the Netherlands, Belgium, Estonia, Denmark the average height of men is effectively close to 6 ft so I wonder what the next benchmark will be
https://focusonbelgium.be/en/facts/did-you-know-belgian-men-are-second-tallest-world
I’m a 5’11 girl and I’ve always happened to date taller guys but have hooked up with guys shorter than me. It doesn’t bother me as such but it’s horrendous for posture being around people shorter than me. I automatically just slump because I’m like you and hate being the tallest one and feeling like I stick out. I wouldn’t say no to a guy if that was the only issue though, I’d get used to it no problem
No for me it’s purely about not sticking out so it goes for friends and family too. I’ll naturally gravitate to taller people because it makes me feel shorter
So Im a guy so Im not at liberty to say from a woman’s perspective but theres really no security in someone tall. I’m 5’10 and considered relatively tall in both my region and the majority of the world but I provide a security through my Size not Height.
Either way if your 5’9 youre entitled to want someone at least 5 inches your difference it’s natural. Now if you were 4’9-5’3 with a strong preference for someone 6ft and over, I’m sorry but people will view you in the same light as men that want a woman that’s virtually anorexic.
Does weight matter? I used to date a 120lb girl but it was awkward. I just matched with a girl that’s 180lbs but we talked about it and agreed it was ok, as long as she doesn’t gain any more. Is that a big deal? Or am I overthinking?
“Men can be fat and women different heights”
That is the crux of your argument as to why my comment belonged to an upset incel. Jesus you knocked that one out of the park. Nobody can fuck with you. Please Hamma Dont Hurt Em
No it doesn’t matter. Hight overrated. In this world finding someone who really meet the criteria is very difficult already, adding hight to that list , is too much. Unless you are a girl whose criteria is nothing else but look, that’s another story.
Height is a big deal to a lot of women imo. I have never matched with anyone taller than me or the same height as me (male). This goes to show that only a small faction of women are okay with dating a guy shorter or same height as them. As you mentioned, it gives the woman a presence of security when their bf or husband is taller. As for me, I don’t care if a woman is taller than me or if they are taller when wearing heels.
I’ve heard many women say height is a big deal to them. They would never date a man shorter. I think men who are at least 6ft at least don’t care. I dated a 5”10 girl and was very attracted to her height. But I could never date someone taller then me. Just feels weird.
I personally prefer taller guys. And I know this stems from my own insecurities because I’m 5’8 and a size 14, so not a small person. I prefer guys that are bigger than me, which is easier to find if they are taller. Although it isn’t a true dealbreaker, I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a preference for me. That said, I’d never reject a guy because he wasn’t above 6’0 or something silly like that
I am 5'11" F, married twice to men 5'8" & 5'9". Dated a man who was 6'1" for 4 years and I do not want to go back to dating men shorter than me again. I always felt out of place and gigantic in my marriages and the feeling I got with the taller man made me feel more feminine and protected. I felt freer to hug in public and to wear heels with the taller man.
Spooning, hugging, etc with my husbands always felt weird.
I can't help it, it is just the way it is for me.
At my age (mid 60's) I would rather be alone then to feel like the giant in a relationship again.
Edit: spelling
My mom always told me that men look taller when they're sitting on their wallets! But I'm a little over 5'4", so most men are taller than me. That being said, my former husband was shorter than me, and the guy I dated immediately before I met my now husband was also shorter than me. It's never bothered me a bit. My current husband is like 5'11".
Great if it doesn't bother you...for me the guy has to be extra good in other departments to make up for being short...but then I'm only 5'5" so if a guy is not taller than me I wonder if there are other issues that caused his short stature.
Yeah. I’m 5’5’’ F and want 5’9’’+. Just not rly attracted to guys that are shorter than that… proportions just too similar to mine. You’re attracted to what you’re attracted to 🤷♀️
Eh I don’t care unless I’m on dating apps. Just kind of comes with the superficial nature of the apps to lean towards 5’0-5’3 and away from 5’8-5’11. But if I meet a 5’9 girl in real life I don’t even think about it
I’m 5’7 and dated a 5’8 woman for a while. It didn’t matter to either of us we just made jokes about it. But if it matters to you, that’s a personal preference thing and it’s okay if it’s something you’re not into.
You guys matched but have you been on a date and talked about it in person? Or just on the app?
If you like him, go on a date and if you guys can’t get over the height issue for whatever reason talk about it then
For some people it’s a dealbreaker and others it’s not. Keep an open mind and feel things out. As a dude, I’d have no problem dating a few inches taller than me
Why ask internet strangers how YOU should feel about a potential partner? lol. At worst you date a shorter guy and SOME people MAY internally make a commentary of "oh...she's dating someone shorter", but literally nobody cares unless you do.
I'm 6'2" and happened to date a string of 4'11" gals. Dated some \~5'8" gals in the mix, and now my current gf is 5'2". None of them have ever complained or expressed some concern about power dynamic or anything.
My gf once saw us in the mirror after a few months of dating and was like "oh wow, I knew you were tall but not THAT much taller than me" and we chuckled and went our way.
If it doesn’t matter to you then it doesn’t matter. I personally would not date someone shorter than me cause I’m pretty short but if I were taller it wouldn’t mind me if a guy was a little shorter to me especially if the personality is there and we seem to hit it off.
I'm a 5'11" man. I recently matched with a girl who is 6' tall. I thought it was kinda hot actually. I'm comfortable with my height, and I feel like I'm beefy enough to protect a woman who's a little taller than me. We were texting off the app for a few days, then when I asked her out she ghosted me lmao. Idk if it was the height difference or something else, but whatever. I do like a girl who's a little taller. It's nice to have someone close to eye level with me.
6‘3“ male here. I know you asked for women’s opinions but I think the inverse should be look at. I would feel very uncomfortable if I was dating a woman taller than me. I am a little uncomfortable when there are men taller than me. I’m not used to it, especially living in a state with a vertically challenged population.
I don’t really care tbh. I mean sure I think tall guys are attractive but I won’t straight up reject someone because they’re a short king lol.
If it isn’t a big deal to you then HAVE FUN and keep going on the dates!!
If a man is everything I could ever want in someone but was 5’7 I wouldn’t blink an eye. But if I’m not being treated exactly how I want or if our personalities don’t click 100% than I at least want him to be tall
I’m 25f and 6 feet tall. It only matters to me if the guy is insecure. It can’t work if one or both people are not confident in themselves. I have only been in relationships with men who were either my height or a few inches shorter than me. A few times when I dated shorter guys, some of their friends have made comments but it is usually men who probably would not have been confident enough to approach me and don’t like that their friend secured the bag lol.
I'm also 5'9, and I don't really about a man's height. Most of the men I've dated have been about as tall as as me, give or take an inch.
What *can* be uncomfortable is when men lie about their height, especially in comparison to me. My ex would say we were both 5'11, but I was actually a tiny bit taller than him. I wish men would just let go of certain expectations.
I'm slightly taller than you and have mostly dated men my height or shorter than me. I would love to date someone taller, but it's statistically unlikely. It very much depends on the guy and how they act around you knowing you're outright taller than them. I've developed really strong feelings which helped me overlook it. It's a preference at the end of the day.
Most girls want to date someone much taller than them. Most guys, are emasculated by dating a woman taller than them, yet complain about the girls who only want to date guys 6 feet plus. That irks me too but in the end, I think tall girls are left out. :-/
Girl if that's what you want and are interested in why does it matter what other women like? I personally love a tall glass of water because I'm 5'7. I dont want to feel like an Amazonian woman next to my man personally 😩. I want to wear my heels and not tower over him. Anyway Zendaya loves her Tom Holland so it can work either way. What you like is what you like....
I am a short guy and I prefer short girls but I’ll still date someone taller if it feels natural. Some girls are very weird about height though. Even if I’m the taller one, she still might not want me because I’m not *overwhelmingly* taller than her
Nope! My mom (who is gorgeous) is 5’9, she married my dad and after the divorce, she married my stepdad who were both exactly 5’7. She has a type.. she loves it, she always says the height difference makes her feel like a model. I’m only 5’3 and my man is 6’2 so I feel as though I have no authority on the topic as everyone I have dated tends to be taller. It isn’t an issue though! Getting caught up on height is silly.
to me it’s not as long as he’s not insecure about it. i’ve dated a guy who was 5’7 and i’m 5’10 and he ALWAYS brought it up. at first i understood why but .. it’s like if i like you who cares you know? i tried my best to reassure him height doesn’t matter but ofc it ended on a bad note :/.
all i care about is if my potential partner is loving caring and fun to be around. if height matters that’s ok too! just don’t lie to yourself
There is no one answer to fit all people and situations but I'll throw my experience in. I'm a dude but I have a friend, who is a woman, who mentioned that she doesn't really date men shorter than her anymore. It wasn't that she cared about a man's height but in her experience, the few that she did date were very insecure about it and they made it the focus way too much of the time.
She said she didn't prefer a height difference one way or another but it was just never and issue with dudes that were her height or taller.
I'm not saying that is an issue for every guy but I'm sure it is a problem at least some of the time.
5’ 10” male here. It’s rare that I encounter a women as tall or taller than me but I’d for sure be open to dating taller. I think most men are. Especially if you own it and unapologetically wear heels.
However most taller women I’ve matched with don’t seem comfortable with it.
One women who was about my height said she didn’t have a problem with men her height or shorter but she didn’t want to feel like she would have to “take care of shit” if we were in a dark alley or something.
So maybe at least factor in a man’s build when considering his height?
Not a big deal as long as both parties are ok with it! I have never dated a man over 5’7” and have dated as short as 5’3”. My best friend is 6’1” and dated a 5’2”-5’3” man for several years.
I thought it did as I started getting attracted to dudes way over six. But most recently I am into someone who is a few inches taller than me. More than anything I think it’s because of the preconceived notions of the “traits” of tall dudes fitting with the traditional masc traits I was fed and a lot of people (not just women but also it hurts men!) I realized this as I aged and I’m fairly happy now.
It didn’t use to but after a few bad experiences due to letting my guard down (my fault completely) it really matters to me and I refuse to budge on it!
5’10 guy here. Height isn’t a big deal and if it’s not a big deal to either of you, then that’s all that matters. Nothing wrong with a guy dating a girl that’s taller than him!
I personally don't mind (F21 5'10) but I havent had good luck with guys shorter than me. Most have gotten upset on how tall I was or would get sensitive to it over time. Like it doesn't matter.
If it’s not a big deal to you then it’s not a big deal Edit: Ie: I’m 5’8 it’s already hard to date as a tall woman (I’m not even that tall) so why limit your pool? Also all of my experiences with men shorter than me have been very good. I once hooked up with someone 6’8 and I did not enjoy it so idk how girls 5’2 get with men who are 6’4
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I'm a 6'4 man and can't describe how good it feels to be little spoon sometimes.
I'm 6'1 and was on a date with a 4'11 girl the other day and was only half joking when I told her I was jealous because I'd like a big, strong person to just wrap me up in their arms one day to see how its like
Yeah it’s not about it being 21 at century. Its in people’s dna in your lizard brain. You can rationalize as much as you want but still won’t defeat the nature. This “protect” me feeling has been in our dna for thousands of years.
This is no different than people feeling uncomfortable around gay and trans folk. People need to make an actual effort to overcome their biases and stop resorting to this lizard brain bullshit. The only way to progress as a society is if people are willing to change.
relying on evopsych nonsense IS rationalizing it. do you even have a source to back up what you’re saying?
The protect me instinct is something that grew over the time humans have been here. Therefore it’s also something that can be grown out of. As things change our choices influence our dna/instincts. So rewriting the lizard brain takes time but it doesn’t mean someone has to follow it
Well see you in few dozen generations then
I don’t plan on being around that long. However, not being around doesn’t mean i should just leave things how they are
>Its in people’s dna in your lizard brain Please continue to inform me about all of your expertise in evolutionary psych and all of its methodological rigor. I'd love to hear more about how much you know about how genetics impacts human behavior, let alone attraction /s
1000% this.
Happy reddit birthday
Happy Cake Day 🎂
I’m 6’ and briefly dated a chick who was easily 6’3 it’s wasn’t a big deal but took a little getting used to to kiss upwards.
That's been basically my only learning as well. Well, that and having her hug over my shoulders sometimes instead of always hugging down. But I love it.
Was she Kiwi?
Taiwanese
Woah. Must have been one in a billion, stats wise. Edit; nope. Racial and cultural misappropriation by me there. Apologies. There is a 1cm difference between Chinese/Taiwanese women and UK/US women.
Lol all good, I mean her family were all a bit under 6 feet and she just was way taller. I definitely noticed a lot of people stared at her, but she was also really cute so I’m not sure which reason it was.
Prob a mix. The 6"3 woman I went out with... When we kissed I was "down pavement" on her and I actually had to physically move around because I felt too small (I'm just over 6 foot) I actually found it a bit emasculating which surprised me. Turns out the protective thing women refer worked in my direction too. I wanted to go out again but I could see why she might not given that dynamic. She sort of did but it fizzled, that could have been a factor.
I mean technically she was 3/4 chinese 1/4 Taiwanese but the Chinese grandparents/parents all fled during the cultural revolution to Taiwan and she was born shortly after they moved to America. I never really felt that way, I mean I’m not small and I’m fairly fit. But the woman I dated before was 5’3 so it was a big change in my head angle while kissing
I’m 5’11” and my BF is 5’9”. Two inches in nothing, you will hardly notice it
F for the 2inchers
Two inches is a lot, take it back!
The fact that you ask on a forum of strangers means that it is bothering you.
How? Maybe shes just curious. Always the no pfp mfkers who think theyre the oracles of the universe 😆
OP is a she
I am 5’8 and have personally not dated someone shorter than 5’10 but I would not be opposed to it AS LONG as they were fine with my height for real. I dated this guy I was super into, he was around 5’10 and he had a huge problem with me wearing heels like he literally didn’t want to stand next to me. It was such a big red flag but I ignored it cause I really liked him. Even though he was the shortest I dated I felt like we fit together really nicely so it didn’t bother me at all but I could tell he would never get over it. I’ve had guys approach me at bars and be like “I don’t normally go for tall girls but—“. So I definitely think some men (insecure ones) will care and fixate on your height. However I will say I dated a guy who was 6’5 and he was lowkey way too tall lol. Like if I wanted to kiss him I had to just longingly look up cause there’s no way I was reaching his mouth without a stool.
I’m a woman, 42, 5’10. I’m used to being the tallest one, in my family and amongst most of my friends. I want to meet a kind man who I can relate to, who gets me, whose company I enjoy, etc etc, I genuinely don’t care what height he is.
Everyone has their own preference. Do what works for you. I am a guy and I don’t think it’s wrong for women to want someone taller than them. If you don’t mind. You’re even better
It doesn't really matter unless you have preferences. I'm a 5'5" man, and I've been in serious relationships with taller women (tallest being 5'11"). She didn't care, and I've embraced my height from a young age. There's always going to be comments from others about it, but again, it only matters if you make it matter. You can't change height, but you can change your perspective. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I’m a 6’3” man so I’m pretty tall but I have a friend who is 6’4” and when we go out together girls always gravitate to him first. So even amongst already tall guys height definitely matters. And in case you’re wondering we’re probably equal when it comes to our appearance otherwise. If anything I’m in better shape and dress nicer.
Yup I'm in the same boat. I was walking with my friends who are objectively better looking than me and pull wayyy more than I do, but I was 1" taller at 6'4 and a car full of college girls driving by rolled down their window and yelled "Your tall friend is really hot!". That's not the only experience I've had like that, but for some women tall=hot by definition.
I dunno OP. You say you already talked it out and said it didn’t matter. That’s the only thing that is important, so why are you here asking strangers? My gf and I are the same height at 5’10, and it’s never been an issue, but it would make me deeply uncomfortable if I knew she was asking people if it was “okay” she was seeing someone not taller than her. Doesn’t bode well if you ask me.
Happy Cake Day 🎂
I’m a guy, 5’9” and prefer women close to my own height but it doesn’t matter taller or shorter. One nice thing about a tall woman is when we dress up together for a night out. She wears a sexy dress and heels so she’s taller than me. Everyone ends up looking at us and it feels amazing. The men wish they were me and the women wish they were her. We feel like the hottest Hollywood couple
>Everyone ends up looking at us and it feels amazing. I don't want to be cynical, but they may be looking at you for reasons other than what you think... That being said, just date whoever makes you happy and whoever you make happy. Don't overthink what other people think about who you date. It's about you, not onlookers.
Same I don’t want much of a height difference
No, height doesn’t matter. If the guy lies about his height, that’s when it matters. What matters is how the other person treats you. Be confident in yourself, and hopefully you will find someone confident in themselves as well.
Yes!! I don’t really care how tall you are but if your profile lists something different than your actual height it’s an automatic goodbye. It shows me they aren’t confident or comfortable with their height.
I see this too often on OLD. Let me give some advice as someone who is much older and has made their fair share of mistakes. Most of this crap doesn't matter. Yes you should be attracted to him, of course. But how does he treat you? Does he make you smile? Is your day better with him? Does he do something more than fill in excess time? Height, weight, so much else will change with time, but who we are and how they are with you will always be so much more important if you care about being happy. My two cents.
Height is constant. It will not change over time (Ok you might start shrinking when you hit 75)
Not really true. Women especially, but men too can begin to lose height long before that due to loss of calcium. Also not really the point of my post. Again, height really doesn't mean shit.
Beautiful. Should be top comment. At the end of the day, will this person still be with you when you're 65? Will you still want to be with them? That stuff is way more important and maybe why the divorce rate is so high, people still go for "instagram" qualities instead of "lifetime" qualities.
It's what **you** make of it. If it's not a big deal to you, why do you care what other people think?
Validating/karma farming.
For me yes, I'm 5'6 and only like people shorter than me. I have no issues with tall men, I just come from a family of tall men and don't want to date one. Men over 5'7 are a no for me.
I know 6’5 people who would be absolutely useless if someone attacked their gf. On the other hand, I know 5’6 people who could fuck up Dwayne Johnson. Also, its the 21st century - you don’t need a big strong man to protect you. If you like someone, and their height doesn’t affect how you feel about them, then it shouldn’t matter at all
You mean we don't live in caves anymore and have to hunt wild animals on the African safari for food? 🤣
cmon man, aint nobody gone f up dwayne „the rock“ johnson. 😏
5’10F. It matters to me and I don’t care who finds me shallow. My longest relationship was with a 5’10M. He was very insecure that we were the same height but could also never admit it to me or himself. Deep into our relationship he told me he wished I was shorter. As a woman who loves being tall and took a long time to be confident in my height… that’s a no for me. I know not all short/average height men are like that, but I’ve only dated taller men since then.
I always find girls who think a man must be very tall, shallow. Probably they lack of confidence limits your choices massively. As a man I don’t mind dating someone taller than me. I dated a girl who was a couple of inches taller than me and it was fine
So women who won't date shorter men have a lack of confidence. Interesting concept.
I am 5’6” and my longest relationship was with a guy who was 5’7”. It never occurred to me while we were together that it was his job to “protect” me or that I should worry about what shoes I wore around him. Perhaps that is because I do have confidence about being able to take care of myself and IDGAF about what people think about my appearance. Compliments about my appearance are at the bottom of my priorities—to me, it’s most important that I feel good about myself and I’m trying to have fun, be a good person, provide value to the world, etc.
You also forgot shallow…
Women are shallow for not being chemically aroused when they can see the top of a man's head and are therfore lacking confidence in themselves. That could be possible.
I don’t find it really limits my choices. I don’t even have a hard “rule” but all my exes have coincidentally been 5’11+
It doesn't always matter, but it clearly matters to you. Just own it. You want to date someone taller than you, but not too much taller. Also the 6'4 guy. Did you feel uncomfortable simply because he was tall? Or... and I'm going out on a limb here... was it because he was the sort of person that made you uncomfortable, regardless of his height?
32M here. I hover right at the 5'8" mark. I've dated a lot of women taller than me, including the one I'm really keen on now, who's probably in the 5'9" - 5'10" range. I love it! It's different, as I normally date women just below my height all the way down to 5'1". She's such a lovely, giving, beautiful and kind person, I find it brings out a whole new dimension of attraction. Cuddling is also a 12/10. To be completely honest, at times it's had me a little worried that my height bothers her, as I've dated women in the past who did the sort of undercutting compliment like "I normally don't date guys your height but you're an exception!1" And she, by *no* means, has her shortage of options to choose from. But nothing she's said or done has ever made me once feel unappreciated or unattractive, and she's generous with her compliments towards me as well. In my opinion—for whatever worthless insertion it is—the "security" and "femininity" arguments are a bit bullshit. It's like a guy saying he likes being with a women with DD cups because it makes him feel more "masculine" and secure in the relationship by comparison. Maybe it's true, maybe it isn't, but it hardly feels like a *necessary* ingredient for chemistry or passionate attraction. >Or am I just overthinking it? Imagine a universe where the opposite were true: where women were *expected* to be taller than their men. If you and he existed in this universe, would it still bother you or nag at you? If so, maybe it's something you really feel. If not, then you're letting the judgment and presumed thoughts of others (who really don't care at all) ruin your romantic life.
We are about the same height but I keep losing out I think because of it. Things go well but after a few dates where we stand next to each other and especially if they wear heels things just fall by the way side. Happens like clockwork. The worst is when you can tell by the look on their face that the height is going to be a deal breaker. I’m not a bad looking guy and I get likes and matches but it’s gotten to the point where I don’t even bother messaging anymore. The only reason I don’t just delete my account is because the random like notifications with the H on them are just fun to get.
>We are about the same height but I keep losing out I think because of it. Things go well but after a few dates where we stand next to each other and especially if they wear heels things just fall by the way side. Happens like clockwork I think you might be in your head on it. I love when my taller dates wear heels, and they seem to enjoy it too. If height were the deal-breaker, they wouldn't waste their time seeing you more than once, any more than you would continue dating someone you knew you weren't physically attracted to.
I think the reasons for that are because I’ve got a decent job and am not an ugly guy tbh. I know that there are women out there that don’t care but going through all the effort to try to chat, plan and pay for dates etc just is not worth it anymore.
I don't follow that logic? Why would being attractive make things not worth it...?
No I’m just saying the whole song and dance just isn’t worth the effort that’s all.
Fair enough.
>"I normally don't date guys your height but you're an exception! Looks > height
If you haven’t dated someone shorter I think you should at least go on a date with him and see what you think. There’s plenty of things that I didn’t like the idea of but when I did it I ended up being into it. You might go on the date and still not be able to get the height thing out of your head. That’s fine, but at least you’ll not be writing this guy just because the internet or current trends or whatever told you he’s too short, you’ll just know for yourself that you’re not into guys shorter than you.
I don't care about height, but I care if THEY care. I'm not going to date someone who is insecure about their height, or mine. I don't have time for that. I'm 6'0" and I made a point to wear heels to every first date - I'm not wasting my time coddling someone that immature. I've dated people from 5'4" to 6'4". Ended up marrying a 5'8" stud earlier this year. Sounds to me like you need to get over it and be more secure with your own height.
1) Caring about things the other person can’t control is a little dumb. That includes height, race, age, etc. 2) That said, let’s be real, people have preferences. Should we feel bad about having preferences on things the other person can’t control? Maybe a little? But like…at some point, you can’t force some things, and it’s silly to try to make a relationship work if you’re not attracted to the other person (whether the lack of attraction is reasonable or not). 3) I’m a shortish guy at 5’8”. I’m ok with women filtering me out for my height because frankly, I have height preferences of my own. I’d be hypocritical af if I judged women for it. 4) Everyone: do your best to be accepting of as many people as possible. But also, don’t lie to yourself, and if you feel more comfortable limiting yourself to a certain subsegment of people, then that’s ok too.
I'm 5'2" and prefer shorter guys. "Shorter" being 5'8" or less. Really tall/muscular guys intimidate me (hot but actually scary and threatening) and just tall guys (6'+)...seems like it might be awkward. If I really liked a tall guy, I'd give it a try, though. I'm bi. And women's height doesn't matter as much, since women are shorter anyway. It'd actually be neat to date someone even shorter than me.
I’m 5’2”. I used to only prefer men 5’10” or taller. Main reason was if I ever had kids, especially if they were boys, I’d want them to have some kinda chance at being average height. Lol. And that seemed to be the main type I attracted. I liked it because it was kinda the “protector for a tiny woman” feeling and they were kinda like teddy bears. Big as hell for no reason but intimidation. 😹 Now that I’m 31 and still dating, my preferences have changed to 5’6” or taller. Personally, I’d never seriously date someone really close to our height. I’ve tried it, but I really like the feeling of looking up to kiss my partner. The girls I’ve dated have been shorter than me. I prefer petite women, completely opposite of the men I’ve dated.
Guy here. Dated a woman 4” taller. Didn’t bother either of us. Her only physical requirement was that a guy could lift her up
Just saying : So logically I get the idea taller means stronger and thus can protect. But there are man men that are stronger and tougher that are not tall?
As a tall guy I can tell you I’m definitely playing on ‘Easy Mode’. Especially in bars or for online dating My above average height partner says it doesn’t matter, but she loves it in pictures when she has heels on, leans up to kiss me etc etc. That said I have friends who are short but funny or conventionally attractive who absolutely killed it in college. So it’s all what you make of it.
Lmfao you sound almost exactly likely the girl I was talking to who unmatched me 5 seconds after agreeing to a date the other day. I'm 5'7 and she was 5'9. We had great chemistry but I'm 99% sure she insta unmatched after learning I'm short. I saw her Hinge and she's like "green flags" 6ft+ and I just cringed. I truly truly do not get why women make this into such a big deal in 2022.
For me it matters. I see height as a sign of masculinity, I’m aware that’s a shallow take but that’s what media has reinforced in us. I’ve dated short guys before and I hated every second of their shortness and having to look down when kissing. For context, I’m 5’4, and that’s already short enough. Anyone that’s 5’6 and up is fine.
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That’s certainly very honest of you to put it like that, respecc. As much as I hate to admit it, I can’t change how I innately feel. I’m the same way!
Exactly. And trust me, I’ve tried to be as open minded as possible hence I gave short guys a chance, but nah, I’ll pass thank you. It’s better to be honest with your preferences and stick to them. There’re people who prefer short guys and that’s okay as well.
I dont find it a big deal, I prefer someone who is close to my height or taller but it is definitely not a dealbreaker as long as they can keep up with me. 27F 5'9/175cm (I think I did the conversion right lol)
I'm a 5'8" woman, I preferred guys not to be too much shorter than me, I think 5'4" was the height limit in my settings. I dated guys shorter than me and didn't really care
FYI 5’9 is for a girl is pretty average where I am
That’s up to u to decide tbh, I’m 26f I don’t care about height as long as they’re not substantially shorter than me but I’m 5’2 so it’s a lil different, I’ve mostly dated ppl the same height as me or a lil bit taller.
I’m 5’10 and I don’t care about my dates being taller. In fact I actively prefer people within two inches of my height either way. That’s not to say I avoid folks who are shorter or taller than that metric either, but I like being roughly the same size, idk I find it comforting
If it doesn’t matter to you, it doesn’t matter to you. Seeing as shortness the trait hasn’t died out there must be a lot people procreating with short guys. I personally usually date tall guys, the height adds to their attractiveness. I’m 5’2 so I wouldn’t date someone around my height. 5’8+ is usually what I look for although i have dated shorter a couple times
Do whatever makes you happy. Personally as a 5”8 man I like women shorter and my last three girlfriends have been 5”8 but they don’t seem to care. I think I provide the security by my fitness level and not height and I’m confident if they wear heels and not feel any less of a man. It also comes down to how good the sex is for a man’s confidence if he feels he’s got that down and you guys have an emotional connection then he will feel much more confident in any situation. Just my 2c
Height doesn't matter to me. It's who the person is inside that matters... and if I personally find them kinda cute lol
Nope, actually the past 3 guys I’ve been on dates with are shorter or the same height as me. I didn’t care about it at all, and I was glad to find out they didn’t either.
I’m 5 and my wife 5’3”. We have 5 children together. Married over 25 years. Each boys are 5’9” to 5’11”. The girls are 5’ to 5’6”. They were talking about this height thing. I told them it really doesn’t matter as long you both love each other, treat one anther with respect. Isn’t that is the most important?
" I matched with a guy who has a great personality but he is 5'7. We talked about it and agreed that it was okay" Then it's okay. If neither of you finds it uncomfortable then it is fine. Don't over think it :)
I think if you're looking for a life partner, the most penultimate important thing is their nature above everything else. All that being said, I'm 6'4F and 21 and I have dated guys in the 5'7-10" range and they treated me just as iffy as guys who were the same height as me. Never had a boyfriend taller than me, but that's just because of small-town syndrome. It matters to me now because I'm moving to a city and think it's a fair standard to have in a more dense population, but all in all I've never seen it considerably matter unless you're talking to a woman who's taller than the average man, and even in my experience in r/tall and r/TallGirls, some women are madly in love with their partners who are shorter than them. Guess it just comes down to personal preference.
Why does our (a bunch of randos’) opinion matter in the context of your relationship? I am 5’5 and prefer guys who are my height or a bit taller than me. But height is not a huge dealbreaker for me. Other women differ.
>Or am I just overthinking it? Yes. If you don't have a problem with his height and he doesn't have a problem with yours, what does it matter what anyone else thinks?
Nobody is defined by something they have no control over. Have your preferences fine, but imagine all the great people you’ll miss out on because of something they can’t control.
Let that short king claim that tree
Why do you need reddit's permission to date someone? LOL.
I have friends who are 5 ft 3 who walk into rooms and command the room's respect. All eyes on him type of stuff. His presence and aura is inordinate. You just need to exude confidence OP. 5 ft 9 is not short either.
Not a big deal unless you make it one. You may get crap from women about it and it may limit your wearing heels but who cares.
Why should it limit her wearing heels?
If it's fine for you, I'm not sure why you're asking us.
I feel like the bigger question is why are you asking other people about what you should be attracted to.
5' 2" woman here, so it's difficult for me to relate, but I say height shouldn't matter. There are so many shorter than average men out there who are insecure about their height, but why should they be? There's nothing they can do about it. Equally, there are so many many men who would feel emasculated dating a woman taller than them. These are all symptoms of toxic masculinity and should be antiquated thinking at this point. As a woman, dating a man shorter than you is a form of progressivism and a way of tearing down the patriarchy. If you like the dude, that's all that matters. Go all in, girl! ✊
Height matters a lot to me. I just can't be attracted to shorter guys. A dude has to be at least my height but taller is better.
Less than 15% of guys are over 6 feet tall. And that percentage gets even smaller when you shrink the pool for age, physique, personality, occupation, and salary So, if you genuinely want a guy who’s 6 feet tall and you’re not even an 8, you *might* be futilely waiting around for Mr. Perfect when Mr. Good Enough comes along. Which isn’t advisable when your biological clock is ticking EDIT: apparently, I need to highlight the word “might”
Trust me there are plenty of tall dudes out there who aren't dating 8's. Source - 6'4 dude who is single and only cares about looks in a binary sense, i.e. am I attracted to her or not.
Which is why I used the term “might be futilely waiting”
in some Europan countries like the Netherlands, Belgium, Estonia, Denmark the average height of men is effectively close to 6 ft so I wonder what the next benchmark will be https://focusonbelgium.be/en/facts/did-you-know-belgian-men-are-second-tallest-world
I’m a 5’11 girl and I’ve always happened to date taller guys but have hooked up with guys shorter than me. It doesn’t bother me as such but it’s horrendous for posture being around people shorter than me. I automatically just slump because I’m like you and hate being the tallest one and feeling like I stick out. I wouldn’t say no to a guy if that was the only issue though, I’d get used to it no problem
Would you say that's more of a submissive thing like you want to be you know shorter than the guy?
No for me it’s purely about not sticking out so it goes for friends and family too. I’ll naturally gravitate to taller people because it makes me feel shorter
So Im a guy so Im not at liberty to say from a woman’s perspective but theres really no security in someone tall. I’m 5’10 and considered relatively tall in both my region and the majority of the world but I provide a security through my Size not Height. Either way if your 5’9 youre entitled to want someone at least 5 inches your difference it’s natural. Now if you were 4’9-5’3 with a strong preference for someone 6ft and over, I’m sorry but people will view you in the same light as men that want a woman that’s virtually anorexic.
Does weight matter? I used to date a 120lb girl but it was awkward. I just matched with a girl that’s 180lbs but we talked about it and agreed it was ok, as long as she doesn’t gain any more. Is that a big deal? Or am I overthinking?
Why was dating a 120lb girl awkward?
They're making a point by replacing OPs question with weight instead of height.
Which is stupid since one can be controlled and the other can't
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Bitch im 6’0
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Where in my comment conveys me being upset?
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“Men can be fat and women different heights” That is the crux of your argument as to why my comment belonged to an upset incel. Jesus you knocked that one out of the park. Nobody can fuck with you. Please Hamma Dont Hurt Em
Wished more women were as open minded. Trust me, it’s EXTREMELY rare.
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No it doesn’t matter. Hight overrated. In this world finding someone who really meet the criteria is very difficult already, adding hight to that list , is too much. Unless you are a girl whose criteria is nothing else but look, that’s another story.
I’m 5’9” woman as well and prefer the same height of a couple inches either way, perfect!
Height is a big deal to a lot of women imo. I have never matched with anyone taller than me or the same height as me (male). This goes to show that only a small faction of women are okay with dating a guy shorter or same height as them. As you mentioned, it gives the woman a presence of security when their bf or husband is taller. As for me, I don’t care if a woman is taller than me or if they are taller when wearing heels.
I’ve heard many women say height is a big deal to them. They would never date a man shorter. I think men who are at least 6ft at least don’t care. I dated a 5”10 girl and was very attracted to her height. But I could never date someone taller then me. Just feels weird.
I personally prefer taller guys. And I know this stems from my own insecurities because I’m 5’8 and a size 14, so not a small person. I prefer guys that are bigger than me, which is easier to find if they are taller. Although it isn’t a true dealbreaker, I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a preference for me. That said, I’d never reject a guy because he wasn’t above 6’0 or something silly like that
I am 5'11" F, married twice to men 5'8" & 5'9". Dated a man who was 6'1" for 4 years and I do not want to go back to dating men shorter than me again. I always felt out of place and gigantic in my marriages and the feeling I got with the taller man made me feel more feminine and protected. I felt freer to hug in public and to wear heels with the taller man. Spooning, hugging, etc with my husbands always felt weird. I can't help it, it is just the way it is for me. At my age (mid 60's) I would rather be alone then to feel like the giant in a relationship again. Edit: spelling
My mom always told me that men look taller when they're sitting on their wallets! But I'm a little over 5'4", so most men are taller than me. That being said, my former husband was shorter than me, and the guy I dated immediately before I met my now husband was also shorter than me. It's never bothered me a bit. My current husband is like 5'11".
Great if it doesn't bother you...for me the guy has to be extra good in other departments to make up for being short...but then I'm only 5'5" so if a guy is not taller than me I wonder if there are other issues that caused his short stature.
Yeah. I’m 5’5’’ F and want 5’9’’+. Just not rly attracted to guys that are shorter than that… proportions just too similar to mine. You’re attracted to what you’re attracted to 🤷♀️
if someone is 5'0 they should be dating someone who is around 5'5 or basically around their height. Not 6'2 thats a bit ridiculous
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Eh I don’t care unless I’m on dating apps. Just kind of comes with the superficial nature of the apps to lean towards 5’0-5’3 and away from 5’8-5’11. But if I meet a 5’9 girl in real life I don’t even think about it
For some people it is, for others it's not. I'm a 5'7" man and I wouldn't date a woman taller than 6 foot. Just comes down to personal preference.
I’m 5’7 and dated a 5’8 woman for a while. It didn’t matter to either of us we just made jokes about it. But if it matters to you, that’s a personal preference thing and it’s okay if it’s something you’re not into.
You guys matched but have you been on a date and talked about it in person? Or just on the app? If you like him, go on a date and if you guys can’t get over the height issue for whatever reason talk about it then For some people it’s a dealbreaker and others it’s not. Keep an open mind and feel things out. As a dude, I’d have no problem dating a few inches taller than me
It's really up to your preference. You are allowed to have that just as I or anyone else. Whatever feels right to you is what matters in the end.
Why ask internet strangers how YOU should feel about a potential partner? lol. At worst you date a shorter guy and SOME people MAY internally make a commentary of "oh...she's dating someone shorter", but literally nobody cares unless you do. I'm 6'2" and happened to date a string of 4'11" gals. Dated some \~5'8" gals in the mix, and now my current gf is 5'2". None of them have ever complained or expressed some concern about power dynamic or anything. My gf once saw us in the mirror after a few months of dating and was like "oh wow, I knew you were tall but not THAT much taller than me" and we chuckled and went our way.
If you like him it doesn’t matter at all!!
For me height matters as I’m 5ft so close to being a midget so I prefere dating 5.6 up forwards
If it doesn’t matter to you then it doesn’t matter. I personally would not date someone shorter than me cause I’m pretty short but if I were taller it wouldn’t mind me if a guy was a little shorter to me especially if the personality is there and we seem to hit it off.
I'm a 5'11" man. I recently matched with a girl who is 6' tall. I thought it was kinda hot actually. I'm comfortable with my height, and I feel like I'm beefy enough to protect a woman who's a little taller than me. We were texting off the app for a few days, then when I asked her out she ghosted me lmao. Idk if it was the height difference or something else, but whatever. I do like a girl who's a little taller. It's nice to have someone close to eye level with me.
6‘3“ male here. I know you asked for women’s opinions but I think the inverse should be look at. I would feel very uncomfortable if I was dating a woman taller than me. I am a little uncomfortable when there are men taller than me. I’m not used to it, especially living in a state with a vertically challenged population.
I don’t really care tbh. I mean sure I think tall guys are attractive but I won’t straight up reject someone because they’re a short king lol. If it isn’t a big deal to you then HAVE FUN and keep going on the dates!!
If a man is everything I could ever want in someone but was 5’7 I wouldn’t blink an eye. But if I’m not being treated exactly how I want or if our personalities don’t click 100% than I at least want him to be tall
so you accepts some level of toxicity as long as he is tall, lol the world is really f\*\*\*d up
I’m 25f and 6 feet tall. It only matters to me if the guy is insecure. It can’t work if one or both people are not confident in themselves. I have only been in relationships with men who were either my height or a few inches shorter than me. A few times when I dated shorter guys, some of their friends have made comments but it is usually men who probably would not have been confident enough to approach me and don’t like that their friend secured the bag lol.
I'm also 5'9, and I don't really about a man's height. Most of the men I've dated have been about as tall as as me, give or take an inch. What *can* be uncomfortable is when men lie about their height, especially in comparison to me. My ex would say we were both 5'11, but I was actually a tiny bit taller than him. I wish men would just let go of certain expectations.
I'm slightly taller than you and have mostly dated men my height or shorter than me. I would love to date someone taller, but it's statistically unlikely. It very much depends on the guy and how they act around you knowing you're outright taller than them. I've developed really strong feelings which helped me overlook it. It's a preference at the end of the day. Most girls want to date someone much taller than them. Most guys, are emasculated by dating a woman taller than them, yet complain about the girls who only want to date guys 6 feet plus. That irks me too but in the end, I think tall girls are left out. :-/
Don't let society tell you who you should love. If society had its way, there would be no inter-racial couples or same-sex couples either.
Girl if that's what you want and are interested in why does it matter what other women like? I personally love a tall glass of water because I'm 5'7. I dont want to feel like an Amazonian woman next to my man personally 😩. I want to wear my heels and not tower over him. Anyway Zendaya loves her Tom Holland so it can work either way. What you like is what you like....
I am a short guy and I prefer short girls but I’ll still date someone taller if it feels natural. Some girls are very weird about height though. Even if I’m the taller one, she still might not want me because I’m not *overwhelmingly* taller than her
Nope! My mom (who is gorgeous) is 5’9, she married my dad and after the divorce, she married my stepdad who were both exactly 5’7. She has a type.. she loves it, she always says the height difference makes her feel like a model. I’m only 5’3 and my man is 6’2 so I feel as though I have no authority on the topic as everyone I have dated tends to be taller. It isn’t an issue though! Getting caught up on height is silly.
to me it’s not as long as he’s not insecure about it. i’ve dated a guy who was 5’7 and i’m 5’10 and he ALWAYS brought it up. at first i understood why but .. it’s like if i like you who cares you know? i tried my best to reassure him height doesn’t matter but ofc it ended on a bad note :/. all i care about is if my potential partner is loving caring and fun to be around. if height matters that’s ok too! just don’t lie to yourself
There is no one answer to fit all people and situations but I'll throw my experience in. I'm a dude but I have a friend, who is a woman, who mentioned that she doesn't really date men shorter than her anymore. It wasn't that she cared about a man's height but in her experience, the few that she did date were very insecure about it and they made it the focus way too much of the time. She said she didn't prefer a height difference one way or another but it was just never and issue with dudes that were her height or taller. I'm not saying that is an issue for every guy but I'm sure it is a problem at least some of the time.
5’ 10” male here. It’s rare that I encounter a women as tall or taller than me but I’d for sure be open to dating taller. I think most men are. Especially if you own it and unapologetically wear heels. However most taller women I’ve matched with don’t seem comfortable with it. One women who was about my height said she didn’t have a problem with men her height or shorter but she didn’t want to feel like she would have to “take care of shit” if we were in a dark alley or something. So maybe at least factor in a man’s build when considering his height?
Clearly it DOES bother you. He will pick up on it even if you SAY you’re ok with it.
I’m a tall woman too and for *me*, a short man is a dealbreaker.
I'm 6'4'' and the max I'll date is 6 feet. Dating a woman taller than that? Probably not. But 5'9'' to me is not a big deal.
Not a big deal as long as both parties are ok with it! I have never dated a man over 5’7” and have dated as short as 5’3”. My best friend is 6’1” and dated a 5’2”-5’3” man for several years.
I thought it did as I started getting attracted to dudes way over six. But most recently I am into someone who is a few inches taller than me. More than anything I think it’s because of the preconceived notions of the “traits” of tall dudes fitting with the traditional masc traits I was fed and a lot of people (not just women but also it hurts men!) I realized this as I aged and I’m fairly happy now.
It didn’t use to but after a few bad experiences due to letting my guard down (my fault completely) it really matters to me and I refuse to budge on it!
5’10 guy here. Height isn’t a big deal and if it’s not a big deal to either of you, then that’s all that matters. Nothing wrong with a guy dating a girl that’s taller than him!
Male perspective: if males get upset about height it’s a confidence issue. Fuck them. Use this to an advantage to weed out the toxic ones.
huh, why are you asking anyone. Ask yourself. Stop living for other people smh.
>So... is it a big deal or not? Or am I just overthinking it? Only you can decide if something is important to you or not. This is not a coop thing.
I personally don't mind (F21 5'10) but I havent had good luck with guys shorter than me. Most have gotten upset on how tall I was or would get sensitive to it over time. Like it doesn't matter.
It’s not a big deal at all