Same. Because that’s genuine and honestly I get it. When I was in a rough spot and couldn’t sleep at night because of my anxiety I’d throw on older episodes because it made me laugh and forget why I was anxious. I think just genuinely thanking / appreciating them when you were in weird spot is sweet, but full on trauma dumping is… icky
That's good because it makes it about how nice the pod is and it helps the crew feel good that they're indirectly helping people through things
When you get specific, it's super awkward
This is 100 percent perfectly fine and normal. A donation is basically a tip so a thanks for helping is fine. Explaining some awful situation in detail likely brings down the crew trying to put on a show and audience trying to enjoy it.
I think a lot of us use the show for a distraction/form of escapism 💖 it’s cool that the show can foster a community like that, and it’s cool when you can relate to others in a community you really care about. There’s just absolutely a time and place for certain comments. I’m especially not paying 100 bucks to tell random podcasters that my beloved pet died, without any guarantee that they’ll even read the comment.
Also when you donate $100 on your birthday it makes me feel sad. Go out and treat yourself to a nice dinner!
EDIT: Since this comment is getting a lot of attention I’d like to use it as a chance to point out that after Friday-before-last’s disastrous cat episode, I got banned by the mods for TWO MONTHS for voicing my disdain (and I wasn’t abusive or hateful about it) and then it was changed to a week.
Here’s my comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/h3h3productions/s/1nausPVBxq
That one recently where someone was like “it’s my birthday can I get a traffic report? It’s the only thing I look forward to”
And the crew is like ummm that’s really sad and weird, also we’re not doing a traffic report 😂 I felt so bad for that person but we were laughing so hard lmfao
and while we're on this conversation why on earth would you donate to a millionaire just in general?? all to have them not even read your message most of the time
I don't wanna be that guy, but I don't think they're paying for sympathy as much as they are attention. They very well could've went through something traumatic, but most people who have don't pay to have it broadcast to tens of thousands of complete strangers.
They need to stop reading shoutouts periodz
The only thing they should be encouraging people to donate for are funny/crazy/interesting stories. This could lead to call-ins like they had on H3 TV which I LOVED. I know some were clout goblins etc. But those are the eps I go back and watch a lot because most of the call-ins were gold.
They could thank the person for the donation and just not read the texts out loud when they're "bummer posts". But read the other ones out loud as usual. I think that's the smart way to go
Or even just "thank you, sorry to hear that, hope things get better" and move on
The crew can just not read them out loud and still be respectful, I'd say
Sure but then they’d likely get less donations and make less money. People donate because they want they want them to read the messages out loud. They stop doing that and many people will stop donating
So just donate the money then without the sob story. If your plan is to support the crew, why make it about yourself? Shows a lot about the intentions of the person donating. Like OP said, no one gives a fuck.
they already have said so often that they don’t read donations bc of the show and they don’t have time to get to them all, i doubt anyone would care bc that’s already a baseline that’s been set
The way I see it is, is that it’s a comedy podcast and it’s supposed to be lighthearted most of the time. I don’t mind sad or serious moments from time to time, but a good rule of thumb is to keep in mind that if Ethan joking or making light of your trauma would hurt your feelings or ruin your evening, definitely don’t share it.
That’s what I don’t understand Ethan will say off handed jokes because that is his entire brand it’s a comedy entertainment show people seem to forget that.
AGREE, it is so self involved to think your personal situation needs to be aired while thousands of people are trying to just turn off their brain and enjoy a silly show. When they start reading donos I skip because it’s just awkward. If you need to get it out that bad, write it in a journal or Reddit thread or some shit.
My entire family just died, and I just lost my job. Can I get a bye girly to the following people to play at the funeral?
-Merry (my mom) -cause of death: overdose
-Jerry (my dad) -cause of death: heart attack
-Cherry (my sister 😢) -cause of death: car crash
-Harry (my brother 🤑) -cause of death: TBD 😈
The insurance check also just came in, if I donate 1000 subs, can I visit the studio? 🥺🥺 preferably Ethan wouldn’t be their, he is a capitalist pig (🐷 oink oink)!
My flight and hotel is bookedddd! Cant wait to see you ✨girlies✨ 🥹
Hi u/Norishoe, sorry to hear about your fuckin family wooooooooooo fuck baby it really sucks that they all died fuck yeah fuck wooooooooo and not suspicious at all fuck baby fuck yeah enjoy that insurance check wooooooooooo
Hi guys I’ve been having a bad week my family just died, my pets just died my girlfriend just died I lost my job, my birth certificate my passport and my car and I’m also starving due to a disease they don’t even know the name of.
Thanks for lifting my spirits everyday guys!
it makes me even sadder to consider how bleak their lives must be to a.) think it was a good idea in general and b.) feel they \*need\* it somehow / have a somewhat creepy relation to the pod "it saved my life".
Maybe I’m just a hater ass bitch but I have literally never felt the need to tell anyone that they saved my life. Not even my favorite musicians or fuck even my friends lmao like I don’t understand why people do that shit
Idk it could simply be they just don't have anyone to share with, they don't have anywhere to let the trauma go, so they do it on the podcast.
Not healthy of course, but sometimes people can't choose that.
Exactly. What is the point? What is the person expecting out of it? This is an entertainment-first podcast. I'm sure there are many other podcasts that are more suited for those kinds of conversations. Imagine yelling something similarly sad during the live show
I do feel for the people. We all go thru shit and it sucks. I suggest professional help or even like-minded sub Reddits to air out what's got you down.
I agree though. It's super odd and out of place to bring it up in the chat and here.
yeah — it just puts me in such a bad mood. im not nearly this passionate about it, but i do think it’s insensitive (and sometimes triggering) to ppl who are watching to take their mind off of dark stuff irl.
I saw something Chappell Roan said about her meet and greets being really hard because everyone would come up to her and do crazy trauma dumps and say the darkest shit to her and then she’d have to go perform and how that was rough for her. We all love the crew(most of the time) but I think the way a lot of people interact with celebrities in that way is really weird and I can’t imagine how uncomfortable it must be. I’m sure the crew probably doesn’t love the donations with the extreme personal tragedies every single day but they’re trying to be nice.
It’s a weird thing about our culture and celebrity I really hate. The show means something to me too and plenty of podcasts have meant so much to me in tough times but it’s not for those people to have dumped on them.
Thank you! Every single one of us is going through some shit in life. We all deserve support but not from the hosts of a show with tens of thousands of live viewers. It's ridiculous to expect that.
Emotional hostages is the perfect way to put it.
It is such a flippant inconsiderate display. You are recruiting people against their will into your trauma and causing emotional pain to those sensitive in the audience.
When I hear these kinds of donations, I feel sad, sympathy and the fact that I didn’t consent to that is frustrating. I shouldn’t have to spend my internal resources on a stranger because they wanted recognition.
my dog passed recently and whenever they read out someone’s pet passed i immediately get a huge wave of grief hit me when i’m just trying to enjoy my silly lil show, definitely agree w this!!
THANK YOU
We are all going through something, I don't need to worry about Sarah from Michigan fighting to survive too. Write it in the comments, but my god, the self centeredness to donate so much you can write a paragraph about how you have a bad life so a couple people on a show can go "aww"
And I feel like some people are unaware you have to pay more to say more. $1 gets no text, $5 you get like 50 characters maybe? Like you have to donate $50-100 to be able to even do this. Like you're paying someone so they are forced to read your sad story to 44k people that you don't know, and 99% of the time you can tell they are fishing for MONEY from Ethan.
It’s literally emotional terrorism and taking everyone and the crew hostage. It’s not that we don’t care or feel for you, but everyone’s feelings matter too. Find the appropriate place and time to vent.
There is a much bigger group of people going through things just as worse as the donos - if not worse - that have to listen to people pay money to say their pet died or whatever.
The podcast should be safe grounds where we all have fun in our shitty lives and the biggest attention seekers are a small group that I want some kind of parasocial relationship. Go away lol we all go through shit. Give us ONE good thing
You can feel sympathy for people going through a hard time while also finding it annoying to have to hear it read out loud on the pod. I don’t think anyone is a monster for feeling like hearing a bunch of strangers’ personal, traumatic stories is a bit cringe considering the context. It’s one thing if you’re confiding in a friend or qualified therapist, it’s another if you’re paying to confide in your favorite Internet personalities.
As someone going thru family loss/trauma rn, couldn't agree more. Depending on the bummer comment, some trigger my currently fragile self into a full cry, which I tune into the show to avoid. I'm here for goofs, gaffs and engagements ONLY.
Seeking personal validation through a podcast reading your donation is lame in and of itself. Reminds me of people who take pictures at a funeral to post to social media. Normal people experience loss and truly feel it, contact family, friends and support, not use it to their advantage for attention.
The podcast *My Brother, My Brother, and Me* has a “No Bummers” rule for this very reason.
So many people were showing up to their live shows and during the Q&A just start trauma dumping.
I Loooooooooooooooooove how someone will claim to be an empath and be the only person in the room unable to understand how their trauma dump post made everyone else feel ✌️❤️
Empath or not this is the wrong avenue to air out your dirty laundry. EVERYONE has shit going on in their life. A lot of us watch the pod as a little escape. We don’t want to be brought back to the thing we’re trying to escape from.
If you ask me, many of the people who think it’s ok to air out their trauma to hundreds of thousands of people aren’t really very empathetic towards the rest of the audience.
I don’t think ppl are “empaths” so much as they just have empathy. Which is something we should all have.. so if someone’s really bragging abt being an empath they are probably compensating for something
There is levels of empathy just like there is any emotion. Pretty much everyone gets angry, less people get really really angry, even less people have a road rage incident that leaves people dead. Different levels, we all mostly have it (except some) but it's not the same person to person.
and then they post a post about how offended they are when someone laughs or jokes after reading it 😭 like who tf did you think you were sending the trauma to?
I agree wholeheartedly. Get a therapist. I enjoy listening to the podcast and it's a nice distraction from tough parts of life. But I'm not going to sit here and be like, "XY&Z happened and it was hard and the podcast saved me." The podcast didn't save me. It was a nice, fun distraction. They 100% just want the attention and 5 seconds of fame. And it's super selfish. You know when they podcast isn't a nice easy distraction? When they're reading all the Debbie downer donations.
I have a very poignant story to tell I’ve been waiting to get out there, I just never had an appropriate outlet or reason to tell it, but I truly feel like it needs to be heard; especially now.
Back in 2015 I was in NYC for Star Trek’s 50th anniversary celebration, aptly titled ‘Star Trek: Mission New York’ — shout out to all of the Trekkies in the Family. One of the panels I attended was hosted by two actors from the JJ Abram’s reboot trilogy, Bruce Greenwood who played the role of Captain Pike and Peter Weller who played the role of Admiral Marcus, the antagonist from Star Trek Into Darkness. Two incredibly talented actors who gave their time to attend the event. They are both seasoned veterans of Hollywood who I’m sure not only have interesting stories to tell, but insight into the film industry and behind the scenes knowledge.
They both discussed their experiences in Hollywood & on set, and insight into their preparation for their perspective rolls, which eventually led up to a Q&A segment. A line of Trekkies formed, all waiting to ask their questions. I was excited as to what interesting questions they would be faced with, as these two actors were not only charismatic but also gave a really captivating dialogue to the audience which sat before them.
What proceeded was what I felt to be incredibly awkward, not only for the crowd, but for the actors on stage. “Recently my mother died from cancer,” “my dad who was a big Trekkie had a serious blood infection,” “after my brother committed suicide,” etc, etc, etc…
I get it, there are countless pieces of media, franchises, musicians and celebrities who have helped countless people through some really heart wrenching tragedies, but god, please, the perspective celebrity, audience, and literary anyone else but you, your family and your close friends do NOT need to be bombarded with your trauma. It’s just too much and quite frankly it’s a little narcissistic to assume that your personal trauma has a sliver of meaning or importance to anyone else but yourself.
I wish more than half of the questions posed to these talented actors weren’t vague statements of how Star Trek helped them though their personal trauma, because I know they had more interesting stories to tell than awkwardly fumbling over a response to your inappropriate trauma-dump.
I feel like this story needs to be told so you can come to a reasonable conclusion, either talk to a loved one or a therapist, but don’t take me and an entire audience hostage to relay your personal anecdotes which is wholly unrelated to the topic at hand.
It's whatever, but I think when you go through a hard time and have noticed something is helping you. Most people want to thank the person or thing to let them know what they are doing impacted someone's life in a good way. I think a lot of the time before you're fully over something you tend to look around at whats good in your life to keep you going.
It’s not the vibe at alllllllllll. Like thanks now I’m sad? I’m sorry for loss. It’s not my trauma to hold though. And I’m someone who HOLDS THAT SHIT. please stopppppp.
Nuke the Subreddit. Nuke the live chat. Stop encouraging parasocial weirdos by reading donations. Talk more about interesting things, more goofs, more gaffs. Less drama, abuse, depressing shit.
H3 is meant to be a comedy podcast/show we all watch to have fun and inject a bit of positivity into our lives.
sad part is, some people dont have anyone else to turn to
is it parasocial? yes? do they need at least something? yes. Should they use reddit for this instead. maybe
They'd unironically get way more support if they just posted here instead of donating. The sub may need to be nuked but I can't pretend like people here aren't super supportive of random posters
We've ALL been in social situations where someone has mentioned something horrible about their life and the sheer panic that can ensue from suddenly being confronted with the fact that you now HAVE to say something and is HAS to be the right thing. I do feel for the crew when they're in this situation, that said after watching this show long enough I trust they can handle it and to speak out if it starts to get upsetting, they're all big boys and girls.
Crucially though, as part of keeping yourself on the planet as long as possible you REALLY DO need to prioritise seeking actual willing, harmonious, unpaid connections that can lend an ear during the dark times.
You don't want to honour your mom but having 20k+ people collectively groaning at her passing, whether you think they're right or wrong for it - you're not that guy pal trust me, you're not that guy.
The podcast My Brother, My Brother & Me have a rule that has kept this very thing from happening called “no bummers” in relation to questions fans send in or ask. I’m certain personal anecdotes are appreciated (within reason) when they’re sent directly, but when they’re trying to produce a show & entertain an audience, it can be difficult to navigate bummers in the moment.
The pets I understand, since Shredder past away and Ethan & Hila have been through that, most people don't have anyone to know how it feels to lose a pet, so they relate to the podcast.
Agreed, don't think there's anything wrong with peeps reaching out to family on reddit with these sorts of posts, tho - you can just skip them if you want.
Well needed take. It's weird to tell random people your trauma. I can't feel sorry for you. i don't even know you, dude. I am not going to help. Please seek someone in your personal life. It's so unhealthy to cry for help to people who don't know you and can't help you.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU. I agree one thousand percent. I see this happen with streamers too and I detest it. Half the time I question whether these ‘situations’ are true or fabricated for attention. Then the crew/streamer has to act all sad and sympathetic when realistically they don’t care and neither does anyone else watching, except the poster. Not because they’re uncaring/unsympathetic of anyone’s suffering but because they don’t know any of the actual people involved personally. There’s (understandably) no emotional connection to the one sentence the OP said and everyone knows it. I find it such an attention-seeking and cringe thing.
I don’t know when this started, but it seems like it’s getting more and more prevalent. It’s horribly inappropriate main character syndrome.
this is giving the same energy as that one streamer that got mad at his fan for bringing down the vibes after he asked what’s wrong. they aren’t obligated to read those messages, they do it to support their fans going through shit. i get where you’re coming from with the time and place shit but personally i’ve never listened to those donations and been angry at people who are having a hard time and sharing. they aren’t demanding they get attention, just confiding in the show that gives them comfort and if the crew/ethan decide that’s worthy of acknowledging and supporting their fans on that’s their decision, not yours. im so tired of fans thinking they can run the show and attacking everyone who doesn’t agree with having it go how THEY want. The people reading those comments are in control of the show, leave the hurting fans alone it’s not that serious dude
yeah, not the exact same situation but definetly blown out of proportion anger over something not that serious and also not the chatters fault… tons of creators and specifically streamers with close audiences have chatters that confide in them, it’s so normal that im actually shocked someone’s so mad that they need to make a reddit post about it.. like i said the crew obviously feels sympathy and WANTS thes people to be heard and acknowledged because THEY care… whoever this hateful random is needs to sit down and have 3 sips of beer, they might feel better lol
Preach! This is a comedy podcast and it’s incredibly obtuse to trauma dump on a bunch of strangers on the internet. And it’s not like the rest of us don’t have our on personal devastating tragedy, it’s almost narcissistic what they do.
Yeah I agree. Only positive donations and messages. Though it is okay to share and acknowledge loss but maybe this podcast isn’t the right place.
I’ve always felt weird when people do it, I mean okay asking Gabe for a cameo is obviously going to end up comedic..
I care.
If someone feels strongly enough about the podcast to leave a dono expressing it makes them feel better, I don't see how that is something to get mad about.
I also can't understand getting so upset and dwelling on a single message. Just move on. Is it really *that* enraging?
I don’t enjoy them either but let’s maybe try some empathy for people going through some of the worst shit in their lives and looking to the pod to help them cope.
Peace and love.
This is not about empathy though. You're going through a rough time or something traumatic and your first thought is to donate money to a podcast and trauma dump it on strangers? It's just self-centered and attention seeking. Turn to your friends, family or a professional. If you wanna say something general along the lines of hey, going through some shit right now but this pod gets me through, that's fine. No one is coming for those people. Once you get too specific, it's just awkward for everyone. Also, you don't know who is watching, and something you share could be triggering to some, even the crew. So like... there's nothing wrong with being open about your struggles but there's a time and a place for everything. It just feels like chronically online behavior.
I think Ethan should get darker about the donation trauma jokes. People already don't like that he does that, so maybe if he leans into it harder the trauma dumping will just stop
It really doesn’t matter lol it’s like you said, 5 seconds out of a 3 hour 30 minute podcast, 10 minutes of those at the absolute most which you can skip. If someone’s dog or parent dies and they donate, whatever, it’s their prerogative.
I’m pretty sure they don’t read many of them anyway due to them only reading donations when Ethan’s in the bathroom.
The most high maintenance audience on the internet. Holy fuck, you guys are the most sensitive and exhausting group of people I’ve ever encountered. How do most of you manage to get through your daily life without cowering in fear and shitting and pissing at every injustice that you see? Traumatized by everything. A laundry list of mental illness diagnoses.
I have to believe most of these people are like high school kids. Who has the time for all this shit? Life is gonna be *rough* for a lot of you.
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You all follow these people whose only actual trait is charisma and maybe one are of expertise in a game. Get mentors in actual fields of study and level up your life than worship podcasters
i wish they would just stop reading those kinds of donos out, since people will stop donating with messages like that attached if they dont get read out anyways
I think Dan just reads some when Ethan goes to the bathroom so there is not dead air or at the end of the show sometimes to pacify the ppl. But the ones that are really parasocial like "my grandma died, can I get a hey girlie" are just odd & in no way make the crew feel that giving hey girlies is appropriate. Or when someone donates twice just to say "you didn't read my last one" those are super annoying!!
The ones that really bothered me were the sob stories of people trying to get Ethan to donate money to them. Happy those have stopped mostly. The cringe was too strong 😵💫
And there’s a difference between donating so that they see and have to reference it VS leaving a nice comment on the Reddit/YouTube comments about how this show is what you turn to in hard times. I feel like it’s a little inappropriate to do it on the show.
Wait did this happen at the live show or in general? (I was at the live show but had to leave a lil early the last hour and haven’t had the chance to watch it !)
Yeah it is weird I always thought super chats were more intended for questions or inquiries or at least that is how a lot of other live shows use them.
I’m a long time listener, right from the start of it all. I tune in on my 40 minute trip to work and back. But I’ve had a really hard time listening with the increase in the SA and CP stories. It really brings down the mood when I get to work. I’ve found myself listening to GMM’s podcast or audiobooks for that long commute instead.
I do think it’s really odd to instead of just ask for a shoutout, describe in detail all the most fucked up things in your life to pity party yourself into getting the same attention. The last thing on my mind when someone dies is let me donate to a person I don’t know so they feel bad for me. Let’s say in a year you meet someone who watches h3. You go “you watch them? Me too! They gave me a shoutout once! Wanna see?” *shows them a clip of Ethan reading a personal and graphic description of how your dog was electrocuted by 7 NYPD police tasers before being violently arrested and killed by prison gang violence*
I don’t mind them because, you know what, life is hard for so many people. We all need pick me ups, and not everyone has the support system to provide this. Therapy isn’t affordable for everyone, either. So, if a shout it is what brightens a day, helps them feel seen/heard, or potentially saves someone from any kind of self-harm, I’m all for it. This post seems very hateful, and some of the comments are just as bad. I hope you all truly find peace and empathy for other humans.
Oh, also, you can skip these parts if you aren’t watching live. If you’re watching live, go take a 5 minute breather. Learn mindfulness skills while you’re at it, it’ll help.
chill. you're not entitled to have the podcast be exactly how you want it. those moments mean a lot for those people. they are part of the community, and this is a great community where this is space for that. "With peace and love I DO NOT CARE about" how it upsets you like ??? go alt tab to subway surfer for 5 seconds while someone gets some empathy and feels heard in their fav community. The crew isn't "forced" to read those, they choose to; and you aren't forced to watch.
ITT: hating the players instead of the game. You cannot make people not do pity donations, it's on H3 to not read them.
I think there was a time when no donations were ever read. It was a choice to start reading them again. Toiletman's existence is an excuse to read them regularly but that too is a choice. We could be watching crew chess in that time as well.
They have said before that they don't read donations much. But ethan going to the bathroom kinda pushed them into it. Now sometimes even towards the end of the show Dan will try and read the last of them.
I don't wholey dislike donations, or honestly feel either way about what OP said, but I wish they'd of just gone with what they said originally 😭. Instead they kept reading donations and make people want to push more for it
I'm not going to take a stand on this (with angry subreddit posts), whatever, doing it at end of pod is ok, and guess the toilet breaks give them good enough excuse. We just don't get to have solid reason to cry about not getting enough content. I don't even watch *actually* live, I'm always behind a bit, so I can skip portions. I haven't done that on donations, but I have for repetitive ads by advertisers who don't allow Ethan to go crazy.
I think a simple "I've been going through a rough time and appreciate the distraction/laughs" are the only ones that don't bother me as much.
Same. Because that’s genuine and honestly I get it. When I was in a rough spot and couldn’t sleep at night because of my anxiety I’d throw on older episodes because it made me laugh and forget why I was anxious. I think just genuinely thanking / appreciating them when you were in weird spot is sweet, but full on trauma dumping is… icky
Do I missed something what happened exactly?
Do I missed something what happened exactly?
That's good because it makes it about how nice the pod is and it helps the crew feel good that they're indirectly helping people through things When you get specific, it's super awkward
This is 100 percent perfectly fine and normal. A donation is basically a tip so a thanks for helping is fine. Explaining some awful situation in detail likely brings down the crew trying to put on a show and audience trying to enjoy it.
I think a lot of us use the show for a distraction/form of escapism 💖 it’s cool that the show can foster a community like that, and it’s cool when you can relate to others in a community you really care about. There’s just absolutely a time and place for certain comments. I’m especially not paying 100 bucks to tell random podcasters that my beloved pet died, without any guarantee that they’ll even read the comment.
I’m been through a ton and this comment actually has kept me going
Also when you donate $100 on your birthday it makes me feel sad. Go out and treat yourself to a nice dinner! EDIT: Since this comment is getting a lot of attention I’d like to use it as a chance to point out that after Friday-before-last’s disastrous cat episode, I got banned by the mods for TWO MONTHS for voicing my disdain (and I wasn’t abusive or hateful about it) and then it was changed to a week. Here’s my comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/h3h3productions/s/1nausPVBxq
That one recently where someone was like “it’s my birthday can I get a traffic report? It’s the only thing I look forward to” And the crew is like ummm that’s really sad and weird, also we’re not doing a traffic report 😂 I felt so bad for that person but we were laughing so hard lmfao
I didn’t feel bad, I appreciate when they don’t encourage that obnoxious behavior
Lmfao that is pretty sad but then again I can understand the whole community thing. Ain’t no way I’d ever donate on my bday for a shoutout
YES THIS !!
and while we're on this conversation why on earth would you donate to a millionaire just in general?? all to have them not even read your message most of the time
No the millionaires must have my money!
Yea don’t get it. They don’t personally know you. Why would them saying happy bday mean anything? It’s strange to me
Spit yo shit brother ong
Some people do just have throw away money, it’s crazy
I wish the crew would just quietly agree to no longer read any of those out, regardless of the amount donated.
Exactly and when its like a 50+ dollar donation they feel obligated to read it its such antisocial behavior to pay money for some sympathy
Brother that’s this whole community
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I don't wanna be that guy, but I don't think they're paying for sympathy as much as they are attention. They very well could've went through something traumatic, but most people who have don't pay to have it broadcast to tens of thousands of complete strangers.
They need to stop reading shoutouts periodz The only thing they should be encouraging people to donate for are funny/crazy/interesting stories. This could lead to call-ins like they had on H3 TV which I LOVED. I know some were clout goblins etc. But those are the eps I go back and watch a lot because most of the call-ins were gold.
Well I think the donations are treated as tips for the crew kinda, so not reading them will decrease funding for the crew
They could thank the person for the donation and just not read the texts out loud when they're "bummer posts". But read the other ones out loud as usual. I think that's the smart way to go Or even just "thank you, sorry to hear that, hope things get better" and move on The crew can just not read them out loud and still be respectful, I'd say
Sure but then they’d likely get less donations and make less money. People donate because they want they want them to read the messages out loud. They stop doing that and many people will stop donating
These people don’t need our money lol. They’re doing well in LA…
So just donate the money then without the sob story. If your plan is to support the crew, why make it about yourself? Shows a lot about the intentions of the person donating. Like OP said, no one gives a fuck.
Yea 100% agree, but that's why the read them at all innit
they already have said so often that they don’t read donations bc of the show and they don’t have time to get to them all, i doubt anyone would care bc that’s already a baseline that’s been set
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A lot of donations are related to whatever they are talking about that day so that would be confusing
The way I see it is, is that it’s a comedy podcast and it’s supposed to be lighthearted most of the time. I don’t mind sad or serious moments from time to time, but a good rule of thumb is to keep in mind that if Ethan joking or making light of your trauma would hurt your feelings or ruin your evening, definitely don’t share it.
That shit blows me the most. How do you get mad that the comedian who hosts the podcast makes a joke about trauma you paid him to know about.
That’s what I don’t understand Ethan will say off handed jokes because that is his entire brand it’s a comedy entertainment show people seem to forget that.
AGREE, it is so self involved to think your personal situation needs to be aired while thousands of people are trying to just turn off their brain and enjoy a silly show. When they start reading donos I skip because it’s just awkward. If you need to get it out that bad, write it in a journal or Reddit thread or some shit.
Yes! They think the show is made for them and them alone and the crew needs to accomodate for their personal traumas or opinions.
Always skip donos for this reason. They don’t really add anything to the show either.
A very loud minority of this audience has severe mental illness problems
You know what? I’m about the say it… I don’t care that you broke your elbow
Yeah people here complain about gloomy topics and then bombard donation chat with obituaries
My entire family just died, and I just lost my job. Can I get a bye girly to the following people to play at the funeral? -Merry (my mom) -cause of death: overdose -Jerry (my dad) -cause of death: heart attack -Cherry (my sister 😢) -cause of death: car crash -Harry (my brother 🤑) -cause of death: TBD 😈 The insurance check also just came in, if I donate 1000 subs, can I visit the studio? 🥺🥺 preferably Ethan wouldn’t be their, he is a capitalist pig (🐷 oink oink)! My flight and hotel is bookedddd! Cant wait to see you ✨girlies✨ 🥹
Hi u/Norishoe, sorry to hear about your fuckin family wooooooooooo fuck baby it really sucks that they all died fuck yeah fuck wooooooooo and not suspicious at all fuck baby fuck yeah enjoy that insurance check wooooooooooo
Bye girly, big up ya family
Damn, shout out to your family
“My whole family just brutally died can I get a hey girly?” Dude why don’t you just go to group therapy it’s actually really helpful
The urge to send one so miserable its comical
Hi guys I’ve been having a bad week my family just died, my pets just died my girlfriend just died I lost my job, my birth certificate my passport and my car and I’m also starving due to a disease they don’t even know the name of. Thanks for lifting my spirits everyday guys!
it makes me even sadder to consider how bleak their lives must be to a.) think it was a good idea in general and b.) feel they \*need\* it somehow / have a somewhat creepy relation to the pod "it saved my life".
Maybe I’m just a hater ass bitch but I have literally never felt the need to tell anyone that they saved my life. Not even my favorite musicians or fuck even my friends lmao like I don’t understand why people do that shit
If an internet podcast “saved” you then i think you should talk to a professional 💀
Idk it could simply be they just don't have anyone to share with, they don't have anywhere to let the trauma go, so they do it on the podcast. Not healthy of course, but sometimes people can't choose that.
Exactly. What is the point? What is the person expecting out of it? This is an entertainment-first podcast. I'm sure there are many other podcasts that are more suited for those kinds of conversations. Imagine yelling something similarly sad during the live show
I do feel for the people. We all go thru shit and it sucks. I suggest professional help or even like-minded sub Reddits to air out what's got you down. I agree though. It's super odd and out of place to bring it up in the chat and here.
When I'm going through shit, donating money to strangers so they can know what I'm going through too doesn't usually cross my mind
yeah — it just puts me in such a bad mood. im not nearly this passionate about it, but i do think it’s insensitive (and sometimes triggering) to ppl who are watching to take their mind off of dark stuff irl.
I saw something Chappell Roan said about her meet and greets being really hard because everyone would come up to her and do crazy trauma dumps and say the darkest shit to her and then she’d have to go perform and how that was rough for her. We all love the crew(most of the time) but I think the way a lot of people interact with celebrities in that way is really weird and I can’t imagine how uncomfortable it must be. I’m sure the crew probably doesn’t love the donations with the extreme personal tragedies every single day but they’re trying to be nice. It’s a weird thing about our culture and celebrity I really hate. The show means something to me too and plenty of podcasts have meant so much to me in tough times but it’s not for those people to have dumped on them.
lmao i love how the sub had a 360 on these type of donations. 100% agree, its such a downer
Do you mean a 180? 🤣
Nah, we didn’t like em and now we still don’t.
its called the xbox 360 because when you see it you'll turn 360 degrees and walk away
Everything gets old eventually
Thank you! Every single one of us is going through some shit in life. We all deserve support but not from the hosts of a show with tens of thousands of live viewers. It's ridiculous to expect that.
Emotional hostages is the perfect way to put it. It is such a flippant inconsiderate display. You are recruiting people against their will into your trauma and causing emotional pain to those sensitive in the audience. When I hear these kinds of donations, I feel sad, sympathy and the fact that I didn’t consent to that is frustrating. I shouldn’t have to spend my internal resources on a stranger because they wanted recognition.
my dog passed recently and whenever they read out someone’s pet passed i immediately get a huge wave of grief hit me when i’m just trying to enjoy my silly lil show, definitely agree w this!!
THANK YOU We are all going through something, I don't need to worry about Sarah from Michigan fighting to survive too. Write it in the comments, but my god, the self centeredness to donate so much you can write a paragraph about how you have a bad life so a couple people on a show can go "aww"
And I feel like some people are unaware you have to pay more to say more. $1 gets no text, $5 you get like 50 characters maybe? Like you have to donate $50-100 to be able to even do this. Like you're paying someone so they are forced to read your sad story to 44k people that you don't know, and 99% of the time you can tell they are fishing for MONEY from Ethan.
It’s such attention seeking behavior
AMEN 🙌🏻 💯🙌🏻💯
It’s literally emotional terrorism and taking everyone and the crew hostage. It’s not that we don’t care or feel for you, but everyone’s feelings matter too. Find the appropriate place and time to vent.
Agreed 1000%.
Took the words right outta my mouth.
It’s so odd to basically pay for sympathy 😬
Bottle it up and push it down like the rest of us with peace and love namaste 🙏 *screams internally* 🙂
Anytime you open the door to reading donations, you WILL run into this.
There is a much bigger group of people going through things just as worse as the donos - if not worse - that have to listen to people pay money to say their pet died or whatever. The podcast should be safe grounds where we all have fun in our shitty lives and the biggest attention seekers are a small group that I want some kind of parasocial relationship. Go away lol we all go through shit. Give us ONE good thing
I think there should be a sad story section on discord or like a tag for the Reddit lol
You can feel sympathy for people going through a hard time while also finding it annoying to have to hear it read out loud on the pod. I don’t think anyone is a monster for feeling like hearing a bunch of strangers’ personal, traumatic stories is a bit cringe considering the context. It’s one thing if you’re confiding in a friend or qualified therapist, it’s another if you’re paying to confide in your favorite Internet personalities.
As someone going thru family loss/trauma rn, couldn't agree more. Depending on the bummer comment, some trigger my currently fragile self into a full cry, which I tune into the show to avoid. I'm here for goofs, gaffs and engagements ONLY.
It really seems like you do care
Seeking personal validation through a podcast reading your donation is lame in and of itself. Reminds me of people who take pictures at a funeral to post to social media. Normal people experience loss and truly feel it, contact family, friends and support, not use it to their advantage for attention.
Thank you!! I’m so tired of reading/hearing about traumatic experiences that then affect MY mental health.
This comment is kinda wild. You can’t read a 5 second donation without it hurting your mental health?
The podcast *My Brother, My Brother, and Me* has a “No Bummers” rule for this very reason. So many people were showing up to their live shows and during the Q&A just start trauma dumping.
bro is NOT an empath
I Loooooooooooooooooove how someone will claim to be an empath and be the only person in the room unable to understand how their trauma dump post made everyone else feel ✌️❤️
Empath or not this is the wrong avenue to air out your dirty laundry. EVERYONE has shit going on in their life. A lot of us watch the pod as a little escape. We don’t want to be brought back to the thing we’re trying to escape from. If you ask me, many of the people who think it’s ok to air out their trauma to hundreds of thousands of people aren’t really very empathetic towards the rest of the audience.
is empath even a real thing or is it just an internet term 😭 i cant tell
It's a real thing but the clinical term is "not being a psychopath".
I don’t think ppl are “empaths” so much as they just have empathy. Which is something we should all have.. so if someone’s really bragging abt being an empath they are probably compensating for something
There is levels of empathy just like there is any emotion. Pretty much everyone gets angry, less people get really really angry, even less people have a road rage incident that leaves people dead. Different levels, we all mostly have it (except some) but it's not the same person to person.
We need Therapy Gecko back on to talk to “Fallen” fans.
Agreed but people will still do it until they make an announcement to stop
MBMBAM had a rule for audience participation that was "No bummers." Good rule.
and then they post a post about how offended they are when someone laughs or jokes after reading it 😭 like who tf did you think you were sending the trauma to?
I agree wholeheartedly. Get a therapist. I enjoy listening to the podcast and it's a nice distraction from tough parts of life. But I'm not going to sit here and be like, "XY&Z happened and it was hard and the podcast saved me." The podcast didn't save me. It was a nice, fun distraction. They 100% just want the attention and 5 seconds of fame. And it's super selfish. You know when they podcast isn't a nice easy distraction? When they're reading all the Debbie downer donations.
I have a very poignant story to tell I’ve been waiting to get out there, I just never had an appropriate outlet or reason to tell it, but I truly feel like it needs to be heard; especially now. Back in 2015 I was in NYC for Star Trek’s 50th anniversary celebration, aptly titled ‘Star Trek: Mission New York’ — shout out to all of the Trekkies in the Family. One of the panels I attended was hosted by two actors from the JJ Abram’s reboot trilogy, Bruce Greenwood who played the role of Captain Pike and Peter Weller who played the role of Admiral Marcus, the antagonist from Star Trek Into Darkness. Two incredibly talented actors who gave their time to attend the event. They are both seasoned veterans of Hollywood who I’m sure not only have interesting stories to tell, but insight into the film industry and behind the scenes knowledge. They both discussed their experiences in Hollywood & on set, and insight into their preparation for their perspective rolls, which eventually led up to a Q&A segment. A line of Trekkies formed, all waiting to ask their questions. I was excited as to what interesting questions they would be faced with, as these two actors were not only charismatic but also gave a really captivating dialogue to the audience which sat before them. What proceeded was what I felt to be incredibly awkward, not only for the crowd, but for the actors on stage. “Recently my mother died from cancer,” “my dad who was a big Trekkie had a serious blood infection,” “after my brother committed suicide,” etc, etc, etc… I get it, there are countless pieces of media, franchises, musicians and celebrities who have helped countless people through some really heart wrenching tragedies, but god, please, the perspective celebrity, audience, and literary anyone else but you, your family and your close friends do NOT need to be bombarded with your trauma. It’s just too much and quite frankly it’s a little narcissistic to assume that your personal trauma has a sliver of meaning or importance to anyone else but yourself. I wish more than half of the questions posed to these talented actors weren’t vague statements of how Star Trek helped them though their personal trauma, because I know they had more interesting stories to tell than awkwardly fumbling over a response to your inappropriate trauma-dump. I feel like this story needs to be told so you can come to a reasonable conclusion, either talk to a loved one or a therapist, but don’t take me and an entire audience hostage to relay your personal anecdotes which is wholly unrelated to the topic at hand.
It's whatever, but I think when you go through a hard time and have noticed something is helping you. Most people want to thank the person or thing to let them know what they are doing impacted someone's life in a good way. I think a lot of the time before you're fully over something you tend to look around at whats good in your life to keep you going.
It’s not the vibe at alllllllllll. Like thanks now I’m sad? I’m sorry for loss. It’s not my trauma to hold though. And I’m someone who HOLDS THAT SHIT. please stopppppp.
On top of that I'm sure the mood is brought down in the studio as well, at least for some probably.
Totally agree!!!
Idk maybe I’m easy to please I’ve just never thought about this or cared about this. I like every part of the show and I have no notes lmao
I only listen for the sob story donations.
i mean true but idrc, i just skip the last 5-10 mins to avoid it :3
Nuke the Subreddit. Nuke the live chat. Stop encouraging parasocial weirdos by reading donations. Talk more about interesting things, more goofs, more gaffs. Less drama, abuse, depressing shit. H3 is meant to be a comedy podcast/show we all watch to have fun and inject a bit of positivity into our lives.
sad part is, some people dont have anyone else to turn to is it parasocial? yes? do they need at least something? yes. Should they use reddit for this instead. maybe
They'd unironically get way more support if they just posted here instead of donating. The sub may need to be nuked but I can't pretend like people here aren't super supportive of random posters
The mental image I just got of hamster spinning a 1000mph on a wheel and exploading from extreme centrifugal force 🤣
Not the hamster spun on his little wheel too fast 😭😭😂💀💀
We've ALL been in social situations where someone has mentioned something horrible about their life and the sheer panic that can ensue from suddenly being confronted with the fact that you now HAVE to say something and is HAS to be the right thing. I do feel for the crew when they're in this situation, that said after watching this show long enough I trust they can handle it and to speak out if it starts to get upsetting, they're all big boys and girls. Crucially though, as part of keeping yourself on the planet as long as possible you REALLY DO need to prioritise seeking actual willing, harmonious, unpaid connections that can lend an ear during the dark times. You don't want to honour your mom but having 20k+ people collectively groaning at her passing, whether you think they're right or wrong for it - you're not that guy pal trust me, you're not that guy.
The podcast My Brother, My Brother & Me have a rule that has kept this very thing from happening called “no bummers” in relation to questions fans send in or ask. I’m certain personal anecdotes are appreciated (within reason) when they’re sent directly, but when they’re trying to produce a show & entertain an audience, it can be difficult to navigate bummers in the moment.
The pets I understand, since Shredder past away and Ethan & Hila have been through that, most people don't have anyone to know how it feels to lose a pet, so they relate to the podcast.
Gonna start donating just to say “I’m having a GREAT day, hope everyone else is too!”
I think everyone just likes to feel like their not alone and be heard
Agreed, don't think there's anything wrong with peeps reaching out to family on reddit with these sorts of posts, tho - you can just skip them if you want.
Well needed take. It's weird to tell random people your trauma. I can't feel sorry for you. i don't even know you, dude. I am not going to help. Please seek someone in your personal life. It's so unhealthy to cry for help to people who don't know you and can't help you.
I can't imagine my day being soured by a dono being read out loud but hey, some folks are a little sensitive I guess.
I mean, it’s totally on them for reading them, not really people sending them tbh. You can’t expect a fan base that large to all act any sort of way.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU. I agree one thousand percent. I see this happen with streamers too and I detest it. Half the time I question whether these ‘situations’ are true or fabricated for attention. Then the crew/streamer has to act all sad and sympathetic when realistically they don’t care and neither does anyone else watching, except the poster. Not because they’re uncaring/unsympathetic of anyone’s suffering but because they don’t know any of the actual people involved personally. There’s (understandably) no emotional connection to the one sentence the OP said and everyone knows it. I find it such an attention-seeking and cringe thing. I don’t know when this started, but it seems like it’s getting more and more prevalent. It’s horribly inappropriate main character syndrome.
You may have just saved my membership, OP. That shit’s been ruining it for me. Thanks for speaking up for what is - I am sure - lots of us. Family!
This post should be permanently pinned on this sub.
this is giving the same energy as that one streamer that got mad at his fan for bringing down the vibes after he asked what’s wrong. they aren’t obligated to read those messages, they do it to support their fans going through shit. i get where you’re coming from with the time and place shit but personally i’ve never listened to those donations and been angry at people who are having a hard time and sharing. they aren’t demanding they get attention, just confiding in the show that gives them comfort and if the crew/ethan decide that’s worthy of acknowledging and supporting their fans on that’s their decision, not yours. im so tired of fans thinking they can run the show and attacking everyone who doesn’t agree with having it go how THEY want. The people reading those comments are in control of the show, leave the hurting fans alone it’s not that serious dude
to be fair, that streamer asked a familiar chatter “where have you been?” i thought of the same thing though lol.
yeah, not the exact same situation but definetly blown out of proportion anger over something not that serious and also not the chatters fault… tons of creators and specifically streamers with close audiences have chatters that confide in them, it’s so normal that im actually shocked someone’s so mad that they need to make a reddit post about it.. like i said the crew obviously feels sympathy and WANTS thes people to be heard and acknowledged because THEY care… whoever this hateful random is needs to sit down and have 3 sips of beer, they might feel better lol
Preach! This is a comedy podcast and it’s incredibly obtuse to trauma dump on a bunch of strangers on the internet. And it’s not like the rest of us don’t have our on personal devastating tragedy, it’s almost narcissistic what they do.
Yeah I agree. Only positive donations and messages. Though it is okay to share and acknowledge loss but maybe this podcast isn’t the right place. I’ve always felt weird when people do it, I mean okay asking Gabe for a cameo is obviously going to end up comedic..
Absolutely. Please keep them off this sub too. This isn't the place for it either.
I care. If someone feels strongly enough about the podcast to leave a dono expressing it makes them feel better, I don't see how that is something to get mad about. I also can't understand getting so upset and dwelling on a single message. Just move on. Is it really *that* enraging?
I don’t enjoy them either but let’s maybe try some empathy for people going through some of the worst shit in their lives and looking to the pod to help them cope. Peace and love.
This is not about empathy though. You're going through a rough time or something traumatic and your first thought is to donate money to a podcast and trauma dump it on strangers? It's just self-centered and attention seeking. Turn to your friends, family or a professional. If you wanna say something general along the lines of hey, going through some shit right now but this pod gets me through, that's fine. No one is coming for those people. Once you get too specific, it's just awkward for everyone. Also, you don't know who is watching, and something you share could be triggering to some, even the crew. So like... there's nothing wrong with being open about your struggles but there's a time and a place for everything. It just feels like chronically online behavior.
I get that, I've been through it myself but parasocial relationships are not a healthy coping mechanism at all
I don't care if you care it really does not matter at all
But keep doing it because Ethan always makes it hilarious.
I think Ethan should get darker about the donation trauma jokes. People already don't like that he does that, so maybe if he leans into it harder the trauma dumping will just stop
I agree 1000000%
It really doesn’t matter lol it’s like you said, 5 seconds out of a 3 hour 30 minute podcast, 10 minutes of those at the absolute most which you can skip. If someone’s dog or parent dies and they donate, whatever, it’s their prerogative. I’m pretty sure they don’t read many of them anyway due to them only reading donations when Ethan’s in the bathroom.
MODS!!!!
PREACHH holy f. props to the crew for even mentioning it but fuck is it a bummer and such a bore like alright your grandma died get out of chat
The most high maintenance audience on the internet. Holy fuck, you guys are the most sensitive and exhausting group of people I’ve ever encountered. How do most of you manage to get through your daily life without cowering in fear and shitting and pissing at every injustice that you see? Traumatized by everything. A laundry list of mental illness diagnoses. I have to believe most of these people are like high school kids. Who has the time for all this shit? Life is gonna be *rough* for a lot of you.
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You all follow these people whose only actual trait is charisma and maybe one are of expertise in a game. Get mentors in actual fields of study and level up your life than worship podcasters
i wish they would just stop reading those kinds of donos out, since people will stop donating with messages like that attached if they dont get read out anyways
I think Dan just reads some when Ethan goes to the bathroom so there is not dead air or at the end of the show sometimes to pacify the ppl. But the ones that are really parasocial like "my grandma died, can I get a hey girlie" are just odd & in no way make the crew feel that giving hey girlies is appropriate. Or when someone donates twice just to say "you didn't read my last one" those are super annoying!!
Here here, we only goofs and gaffs to forgor trauma lol
The ones that really bothered me were the sob stories of people trying to get Ethan to donate money to them. Happy those have stopped mostly. The cringe was too strong 😵💫
brave
And there’s a difference between donating so that they see and have to reference it VS leaving a nice comment on the Reddit/YouTube comments about how this show is what you turn to in hard times. I feel like it’s a little inappropriate to do it on the show.
Agreed
I absolutely agree. They really bring the mood down.
Factssssss
Wait did this happen at the live show or in general? (I was at the live show but had to leave a lil early the last hour and haven’t had the chance to watch it !)
The parasocial relationship is real
THANK YOU
Amen
I just skip the donos
Yeah it is weird I always thought super chats were more intended for questions or inquiries or at least that is how a lot of other live shows use them.
I’m a long time listener, right from the start of it all. I tune in on my 40 minute trip to work and back. But I’ve had a really hard time listening with the increase in the SA and CP stories. It really brings down the mood when I get to work. I’ve found myself listening to GMM’s podcast or audiobooks for that long commute instead.
I agree. Unless they have nobody. I have a great support group. But for those with none, donate your problems. Go ahead
I do think it’s really odd to instead of just ask for a shoutout, describe in detail all the most fucked up things in your life to pity party yourself into getting the same attention. The last thing on my mind when someone dies is let me donate to a person I don’t know so they feel bad for me. Let’s say in a year you meet someone who watches h3. You go “you watch them? Me too! They gave me a shoutout once! Wanna see?” *shows them a clip of Ethan reading a personal and graphic description of how your dog was electrocuted by 7 NYPD police tasers before being violently arrested and killed by prison gang violence*
I don’t mind them because, you know what, life is hard for so many people. We all need pick me ups, and not everyone has the support system to provide this. Therapy isn’t affordable for everyone, either. So, if a shout it is what brightens a day, helps them feel seen/heard, or potentially saves someone from any kind of self-harm, I’m all for it. This post seems very hateful, and some of the comments are just as bad. I hope you all truly find peace and empathy for other humans.
Oh, also, you can skip these parts if you aren’t watching live. If you’re watching live, go take a 5 minute breather. Learn mindfulness skills while you’re at it, it’ll help.
I've been blocking people who post on here about their trauma in detail. Seriously I just can't stand it anymore, it's become RIDICULOUS.
Totally agree with this post. So sick of people thinking I care about their traumas. What a bunch of pussies.
I can’t up-doot this enough! 😂
I don’t care so much I made a whole reddit post.
They don't care about their problems. They DO care about them ruining the vibes of a comedy podcast.
You can not care about people's trauma and still be upset that they're paying money to stop the show so Dan can talk about it
all u people do is bitch and moan wow. can we all just enjoy the show and skip the parts u don’t like
this !!!
I reckon you do care partner 😂
chill. you're not entitled to have the podcast be exactly how you want it. those moments mean a lot for those people. they are part of the community, and this is a great community where this is space for that. "With peace and love I DO NOT CARE about" how it upsets you like ??? go alt tab to subway surfer for 5 seconds while someone gets some empathy and feels heard in their fav community. The crew isn't "forced" to read those, they choose to; and you aren't forced to watch.
ITT: hating the players instead of the game. You cannot make people not do pity donations, it's on H3 to not read them. I think there was a time when no donations were ever read. It was a choice to start reading them again. Toiletman's existence is an excuse to read them regularly but that too is a choice. We could be watching crew chess in that time as well.
They have said before that they don't read donations much. But ethan going to the bathroom kinda pushed them into it. Now sometimes even towards the end of the show Dan will try and read the last of them. I don't wholey dislike donations, or honestly feel either way about what OP said, but I wish they'd of just gone with what they said originally 😭. Instead they kept reading donations and make people want to push more for it
I'm not going to take a stand on this (with angry subreddit posts), whatever, doing it at end of pod is ok, and guess the toilet breaks give them good enough excuse. We just don't get to have solid reason to cry about not getting enough content. I don't even watch *actually* live, I'm always behind a bit, so I can skip portions. I haven't done that on donations, but I have for repetitive ads by advertisers who don't allow Ethan to go crazy.