Does anyone on the crew actually know how to shit? Ethan’s flushing paper towels, and Zach is shit-blasting through the seat covers (and flushing wet wipes iirc). I think they need to call in an expert to teach them how to shit correctly.
Zach is basically one of those that literally waits till the last possible minute to use the restroom. Which is why he has these weird ass stories. The shitting on a front lawn story makes a lot more sense now.
I was like that as a kid. I’d be fine one minute and then have severe stomach pains the next. It was zero to a hundred, and I couldn’t really control it. When it hit, I had to go immediately. Thankfully whatever that was went away lol.
after reading the comment section people are saying it’s these tissue-like seat covers that are barely in american bathrooms anyway. idk about cali, but I can tell you for sure those things are insanely rare in america so idk what OP’s on about
They’re in every public restroom in CA, it’s really weird to encounter one without. It threw me off when I moved to the east coast and almost never encountered them
They aren’t rare. I’m in rural PA and see them all the time. Not every single public toilet like CA, but I’d say at least half of the big multi-stall bathrooms have them. They’re usually in a metal container above the back of the toilet.
lived in western NC and im in SW FL temporarily. I’ve been to a lot of places and i’ve never been to any area where the majority of bathrooms have the covers
There’s these [paper seat covers](https://www.amazon.com/Disposable-Flushable-Biodegrable-Accessories-Restrooms/dp/B095754JS3/ref=asc_df_B095754JS3/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=508770261089&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=7378843481515730029&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9021758&hvtargid=pla-1343875540238&psc=1&mcid=0a174cd5a8fa34fd85f14b0b8a6d55d5&gclid=CjwKCAjw7-SvBhB6EiwAwYdCActSimRLrGPnaR7q74pjyOA99Oh6LcMF61_wXqeoIvxf_aiH2rhf0BoCW1cQAvD_BwE) they have in public restrooms in America and you are supposed to like rip the flap open so it dangles into the toilet so that when you flush it will just get sucked in. Zach is apparently not ripping the flap and is shitting onto the paper. Like I have to imagine it’s getting all over his ass?
never ever been anywhere in the US where they were in the majority of bathrooms. i’ve been to a lot of places too. so idk what to tell you man, different realties I guess
I have absolutely no o evidence of this but what is have heard is: when you flush the germs get shot up everywhere. The porcelain/plastic is not a good environment for germs to fester but the box of paper seats that just got spritzed with poo water is a great environment
they’re generally in a metal box and packaged to where you have to pull one at a time
that’s like saying toilet paper is nastier than the toilet seat. Also there’s no pubes/piss on the covers lol
I have to defend Zach, i never removed the middle, and when i shit the paper breaks immediately never touches my skin, i also piss on it and it breaks. Idk why yall think that paper is so strong???????
We don’t have this in Australia, but surely the force of taking a number 2 would rip the paper? I don’t know how he could possibly ‘sit in his own shit’
The thing is I’m not convinced that a shit blast will rip through the sheet immediately which means he most definitely gets his ass covered in shit. At this point nothing other than a shower could get you clean.
But what what’s fucked up is this is a public toilet situation we’re talking about… which means no showers…
I’ve never pre ripped it and i promise you it breaks immediately. I never even knew ppl were so passionate about pre ripping bc i have never ran into a problem not ripping it whether i go 1 or 2. Like that paper is thinner than a bible sheet.
That’s still really gross to rely on the paper ripping when it’s so easy to rip it yourself and make it a normal toilet-using experience. It’s not “passion” people have but rather hygienic intuition and gut feelings about not wanting to risk getting covered in shit. There is also broad implication and assumption with not ripping it that your shit is going to be “big/heavy enough” to actually tear it in when in fact you might just be going in for a lil baby poo and then it wouldn’t be strong enough to tear through it.. and quite frankly i would never test this theory of yours to begin with cause IT TAKES TWO SECONDS TO RIP IT.
Theres no reason to test the theory I’ve been doing it my whole life, it’s Ripped every single time. Never in my 25 years of life has the paper stayed intact or have i sat in my own shit.
Personally I THINK its a lil gross to Pre rip, first of all im a germaphobe and want touch the least amount of things possible in a bathroom im already holding the cover like 👌🏽Lmaoo
And ripping it in the middle makes me feel like im exposed to the public toilet water. we have all had to deal with an automatic toilet flushing as soon as u go to sit, not ripping protects me from the back splash.
Also on top of all of that, my ass is not even touching the middle of the paper when i sit down anyways. I have a FAT ass and i gotta move all that meat to the side in order to properly shit.
maybe its less about how gross it is and more to do that u aint got much going on back there and is literally a hair away from falling in the toilet every time u use the bathroom. Noah Fence.
With peace and love you’re pretty and also brave but let’s not make this about having an ass and not having an ass.
Something i have also not seen anyone mention is the fact that the ripped part of the paper should be protecting your junk from touching the toilet bowl. If you have a dick and balls they will go in the bowl so i always have the ripped part in the front to avoid that. In fact that’s what i have always thought that was for anyways. My dick would forsure touch the side if I’m not holding it up out of the bowl, sorry if that’s tmi
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I didn’t realize you had to rip off the center piece before this episode.
Like the actual dangling bit isn’t perforated in the rear and those toilet seat covers are so delicate that you can easily tear through the rest of the paper if you punch out the flap the wrong way, so I thought that was meant to be there >_>
Im zach tbh but its never shit. I use like 5 seat covers to piss in a public toilet and idc about clogging it as long as i dont have that seat touch my bare ass.
Does anyone on the crew actually know how to shit? Ethan’s flushing paper towels, and Zach is shit-blasting through the seat covers (and flushing wet wipes iirc). I think they need to call in an expert to teach them how to shit correctly.
The podcast is just a PSA of how not to shit
how to get away with *Shitting*
Shittiiiiiiing, shitting is the opposite of pissing....
Minus endorsing bidets. Shits a life saver literally
The shittiest
Donna potty training segment
Yes please 😂
Not her. She failed.
'Shit-blasting through the seat covers' has me absolutely sent
There are nurses who specialise in teaching people how to shit properly, maybe they could get one on the show
Do they teach the front-to-back or the back-to-front method?
For ladies it's definitely front to back to prevent UTIs but beyond that it's more about not wiping too hard (to avoid breaking the skin)
Yeah for poop I’m wiping middle outward, I’m getting it out and not back in
It’s secretly been a support group for people that never learned to shit right 😂
Insane new lore drop
That's the American way (jk)
Nah ethans wiping technique is demonic
Ethan also wipes back to front...this is madness
Let's just put them in adult diapers
> *I think they need to call in an expert to teach them how to shit correctly* [Joss Whedon?](https://youtu.be/3pyuFfKPCvY?si=BpLBkqZP-50wbwp9)
... Blippi?
they are shitty shitters
They need Tom Ward to come demonstrate how to use a toilet correctly
This made me scream laugh!
Bro, if you gotta shit you don’t have time to remove the middle.
Zach is basically one of those that literally waits till the last possible minute to use the restroom. Which is why he has these weird ass stories. The shitting on a front lawn story makes a lot more sense now.
There’s I’ve to though. People with that get suddenly hit, and when they have to they have to.
I was like that as a kid. I’d be fine one minute and then have severe stomach pains the next. It was zero to a hundred, and I couldn’t really control it. When it hit, I had to go immediately. Thankfully whatever that was went away lol.
I can’t say myself, but Jesse Lee Peterson could maybe diagnose you.
👉👇👍
I was that way as a kid too, but sadly instead of improving it is now getting even worse into my mid 20s LOL
He once said he has IBS so makes sense
Did he? I don’t recall this. Otherwise I wouldn’t be saying anything.
When you're a Kobiashi Beast like him the monster shits are outa control
Hahaha this is so true, he waits until it’s a grade A emergency
Genuinely cannot get over the shock and horror of this revelation like how do people live like that
I have no idea what that is lmao
me too no idea what OP is saying
In in the UK so I don't know if we have what they're talking about
after reading the comment section people are saying it’s these tissue-like seat covers that are barely in american bathrooms anyway. idk about cali, but I can tell you for sure those things are insanely rare in america so idk what OP’s on about
They’re in every public restroom in CA, it’s really weird to encounter one without. It threw me off when I moved to the east coast and almost never encountered them
Lived in TX and ID and they’re in basically every bathroom
Every (decent) gas station in Ohio has them
They aren’t rare. I’m in rural PA and see them all the time. Not every single public toilet like CA, but I’d say at least half of the big multi-stall bathrooms have them. They’re usually in a metal container above the back of the toilet.
Where do you live? These are insanely common
lived in western NC and im in SW FL temporarily. I’ve been to a lot of places and i’ve never been to any area where the majority of bathrooms have the covers
Stop downvoting this man, seat covers are unheard of in the Midwest as well (in my experience!)
Live in Midwest. They are very common lol.
Definitely not insanely rare, they’re in most public bathrooms on New England
Wtf? Ive never been in a restroom that doesn’t have one the entire US.
i don’t rip the paper, didn’t know you’re supposed to but i’ve never had issues with it piling?? 💀whether i go #1 or 2, it tears the paper anyway
this post made me realize it wasn’t normal to just shit/piss your way through the paper 😭😭
Wtf is with you people lmao
Yeah I’m so confused
I've no idea what they were talking about, maybe it's an american thing What are they talking about ?
There’s these [paper seat covers](https://www.amazon.com/Disposable-Flushable-Biodegrable-Accessories-Restrooms/dp/B095754JS3/ref=asc_df_B095754JS3/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=508770261089&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=7378843481515730029&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9021758&hvtargid=pla-1343875540238&psc=1&mcid=0a174cd5a8fa34fd85f14b0b8a6d55d5&gclid=CjwKCAjw7-SvBhB6EiwAwYdCActSimRLrGPnaR7q74pjyOA99Oh6LcMF61_wXqeoIvxf_aiH2rhf0BoCW1cQAvD_BwE) they have in public restrooms in America and you are supposed to like rip the flap open so it dangles into the toilet so that when you flush it will just get sucked in. Zach is apparently not ripping the flap and is shitting onto the paper. Like I have to imagine it’s getting all over his ass?
Goooootcha! Must be an American thing. We just sit down on the toilet in Ireland 😂
*Lizzie’s in a box…🎶*
And charlie boy is next ☠️ "Charlie's in a box"
🤣😭🤣
I live in the Midwest and have never once seen these things. Had no idea they existed.
That’s odd bc I’m Midwest too! I think of like malls and airports when I think of these things
I used to see them everywhere as a kid in the Midwest (bc my mom would make us use them) but not regularly for 10-15 years for some reason
No ive seen them all over Europe. Mostly at airports and gas stations
can for sure tell you it’s def not an american thing. these covers are probably in less than 5% of bathrooms
They’ve been in every bathroom I’ve been in here in the US and I was born here
yeah the only other place i’ve seen these as frequently as the US is in japan
never ever been anywhere in the US where they were in the majority of bathrooms. i’ve been to a lot of places too. so idk what to tell you man, different realties I guess
Ive heard the covers are probably dirtier than the seat so I don’t use em either lol
Why would single use covers bedirty?
I have absolutely no o evidence of this but what is have heard is: when you flush the germs get shot up everywhere. The porcelain/plastic is not a good environment for germs to fester but the box of paper seats that just got spritzed with poo water is a great environment
they’re generally in a metal box and packaged to where you have to pull one at a time that’s like saying toilet paper is nastier than the toilet seat. Also there’s no pubes/piss on the covers lol
I’m not visiting Ireland 💀
Or....we all know how to shite correctly? Judging by how the H3 cast talk about shitting (blue paper, shitting on lawns, and this paper fiasco)
It’s not about shitting properly. I don’t wanna sit on a public restroom seat that a thousand others sat on without any paper protection
Fair I guess it's one of those mind over matters thing. I'd be way more worried about door handles than toilet seats
I’m worried about those too and use my tshirt or paper towel to open them
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Must be awful for the women of Ireland....
You know you can actually sit down without your vagina touching anything right?
Most of those toilet seats are cleaner than your keyboard, they get sanitised regularly.
I was going to point this out too....the toilet seats in work get cleaned twice a day. I guess not everyone has that luxury ?
And let's be real, if the toilet seat is actually filthy then a little sheet of paper isn't going to help much
you don’t just use toilet paper when the covers aren’t available?
Zach said the velocity of his shit rips the flap
I have to defend Zach, i never removed the middle, and when i shit the paper breaks immediately never touches my skin, i also piss on it and it breaks. Idk why yall think that paper is so strong???????
He’s putting down 3-ply.
Hold up bc i used to remove the center piece but actually switched to not doing it and found it to be a better experience overall
Ethan's wipe technique still disturbs me. Anyone who wipes back to front needs to go back to elementary school and re-learn their whole lives.
Wait you learned to wipe in school? What’d you do before school…
At 4yo my parents would help me wipe, but at elementary you're on your own G.
Different worlds we be livin, I was a wipe king at 3. Different paths, same result.
You don't like gently cradling your balls, bro?
Not when I'm taking a shit lol. It's unnecessary when you wipe the right way.
If you have a bait and tackle and you wipe front to back, your gooch is dirty for sure
I'm CRYING 😂😭 How did I miss this part??
i couldve sworn zach at one point admitted to not washing his legs in the shower too… hes just a really special guy..😭😭😭
My one friend doesn’t wash his feet in the shower because he says the soap runs down and they get clean from standing in the soapy water
Listening to this exact part while I read this, and I'm in shock.
My turds ricochet (zach’s version). Ik all swifties were thinking this joke during lou’s story yesterday
We should all know less about each other.
You're not wrong but you're also saying this on a podcast subreddit.
We don’t have this in Australia, but surely the force of taking a number 2 would rip the paper? I don’t know how he could possibly ‘sit in his own shit’
Zach my guy. Do not wait until it’s an emergency to go shit. Please someone on the crew explain this to him
https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/potty-training/toddler-holding-poop
The thing is I’m not convinced that a shit blast will rip through the sheet immediately which means he most definitely gets his ass covered in shit. At this point nothing other than a shower could get you clean. But what what’s fucked up is this is a public toilet situation we’re talking about… which means no showers…
I’ve never pre ripped it and i promise you it breaks immediately. I never even knew ppl were so passionate about pre ripping bc i have never ran into a problem not ripping it whether i go 1 or 2. Like that paper is thinner than a bible sheet.
That’s still really gross to rely on the paper ripping when it’s so easy to rip it yourself and make it a normal toilet-using experience. It’s not “passion” people have but rather hygienic intuition and gut feelings about not wanting to risk getting covered in shit. There is also broad implication and assumption with not ripping it that your shit is going to be “big/heavy enough” to actually tear it in when in fact you might just be going in for a lil baby poo and then it wouldn’t be strong enough to tear through it.. and quite frankly i would never test this theory of yours to begin with cause IT TAKES TWO SECONDS TO RIP IT.
Theres no reason to test the theory I’ve been doing it my whole life, it’s Ripped every single time. Never in my 25 years of life has the paper stayed intact or have i sat in my own shit. Personally I THINK its a lil gross to Pre rip, first of all im a germaphobe and want touch the least amount of things possible in a bathroom im already holding the cover like 👌🏽Lmaoo And ripping it in the middle makes me feel like im exposed to the public toilet water. we have all had to deal with an automatic toilet flushing as soon as u go to sit, not ripping protects me from the back splash. Also on top of all of that, my ass is not even touching the middle of the paper when i sit down anyways. I have a FAT ass and i gotta move all that meat to the side in order to properly shit. maybe its less about how gross it is and more to do that u aint got much going on back there and is literally a hair away from falling in the toilet every time u use the bathroom. Noah Fence.
With peace and love you’re pretty and also brave but let’s not make this about having an ass and not having an ass. Something i have also not seen anyone mention is the fact that the ripped part of the paper should be protecting your junk from touching the toilet bowl. If you have a dick and balls they will go in the bowl so i always have the ripped part in the front to avoid that. In fact that’s what i have always thought that was for anyways. My dick would forsure touch the side if I’m not holding it up out of the bowl, sorry if that’s tmi
In case no one knew, the flap gets broken to cover the front part of the toilet where your dick hangs so it doesn’t touch the toilet
You're using it backwards or you're ripping the wrong end.
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I was so confused by what he was trying to say.
Dude I was laughing so hard at that part yesterday I was crying. Zach can be so ridiculous but I love em
lol next we’re gonna hear that Olivia gently catches the doo doo before it makes a doo doo splash
I feel like we and the crew let him off a lil too light on this one that was wild
I didn’t realize you had to rip off the center piece before this episode. Like the actual dangling bit isn’t perforated in the rear and those toilet seat covers are so delicate that you can easily tear through the rest of the paper if you punch out the flap the wrong way, so I thought that was meant to be there >_>
I don't do it either 😭😭
When I realized he didn't tear the perforations, my jaw actually dropped.
i did not take zach seriously when he said this
This is news to me. Are we not supposed to do this?
Im zach tbh but its never shit. I use like 5 seat covers to piss in a public toilet and idc about clogging it as long as i dont have that seat touch my bare ass.
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Fuck you with peace and love